You need a gate to have a community. You don't need a bouncer who throws people out for being "the wrong kind of person."

theres a difference between rules and bullying. Being honest with someone that wearing a maid catgirl outfit off amazon isn't Lolita is fine. Calling someone fat or making fun of physical appearances or disabilities is a whole other ballpark.

Concrit for me generally operates on the 'fixed in 5 minutes' rule. Needing a mobility aid can't be fixed in five minutes. that extends to shoes in some cases as well.

@dutchik5107

3 жыл бұрын

Yup. You can't change what shoes you have in 5 minutes. And most people probably don't CHOOSE to need a mobility aid.

@wildcutecosplay

3 жыл бұрын

Some people have foot/knee problems and need more comfortable/sensible shoes to just be practical.

@lunarose9

3 жыл бұрын

I knew someone who looked like thy had "normal shoes" but actually every single pair they had to have custom made as a mobility aid because all of the bones and muscles in their feet grew twisted. I also just have a really strange size that is hard to find and it is a nightmare. I don't think most people realise how important shoes can be for you health.

@arrythestarry

3 жыл бұрын

@@lunarose9 you could try antaina they carry a variety of shoe sizes i have weirdly sized feet and they actually had my shoe size

Lolita is like pizza! You can put what you want on it, there are many brands and prints that nearly anything is possible. But if you took say the pizza toppings and stuck them in a sandwich or a pie then it's no longer a pizza it's something entirely new. Which is great! Finding new stuff is very cool but you gotta accept that it's new and no longer pizza anymore.

@TippyTeapots

3 жыл бұрын

Exactly what Hannah said on her blog. I love this analogy.

I personally think we need gatekeepers and experimenters. We need Tyler and Lor. I'm personally someone who learns a rule (in style, art, video editing which is my job, etc) and immediately thinks "ok, how can I creatively break this rule?" but if everyone was me, lolita would get diluted and absorbed by other fashions. On the other hand, if no one pushed the boundaries, we would have no substyles and a hundred thousand carbon-copy coords, creating a coord would no longer be a creative exercise, it would just be replicating something you've seen a million times. Gatekeeping vs experimenting needs to be a contant negotiation.

@AnnaMorimoto

3 жыл бұрын

I was subconsciously looking for this comment. You have put it so well!

I'm with you on the "if you experimenting, change one element, not all of them". As my bf commented: "If you want to do judo and kick someone in the face, it's not judo anymore."

I think people confuse something not being lolita with it being a negative thing. Just because your coord might not be lolita doesn’t make it a bad coord, it’s just it’s own cool thing.

@OkamiRose

3 жыл бұрын

This!! Like, if you want to wear lolita certain cultures coord it with rules. Don't want to do that? Ok, then it's not what the community really defines as lolita and goes into more of a grey area. You can enjoy and participate in cute culture and not actually wear lolita.

Sneaker + Lolita is such a flex because the sneaker hobby is expensive af and Lolita is expensive af. But I would also like to propose that it could be a means to be more inclusive for members of the community with foot or mobility issues? Maybe? Or maybe I just want to see a Sweet Lolita coord with the Candy Land Reebok Questions that just dropped last month.

@cartoondeathnoises8756

3 жыл бұрын

Omg i just looked up those shoes bc of this and they're so cute! I'd love to see how someone might work those into a coord! I personally just have super casual sneakers that are plain and dirty haha so i just got a basic pair of platform mary janes to fit with my lolita outfits and still be comfy(though i do have the privilege of having feet that are only somewhat flat so I don't need much special to keep from being in pain)

@Marillawen

3 жыл бұрын

I honestly think these would be more than fine, I think it was those specific "AIR" sneakers that were... you know, a Choice! XD

@princessadrigirl6774

3 жыл бұрын

I haven’t been able to find any proper lolita shoes that fit me, I’m a US kids size 2 and most brands only go down to a 5, maybe a 4 or 4 and a half but they’re still huge. I try to find kids shoes that work, plain Mary Janes and such, the occasional converse (it’s easy to find those in kids sizes & in every colour) and HOLY MOLY people hate it. I know it makes me stand out like a sore thumb to not have the proper shoes, but if I could find ones that fit I would wear them lol

@cartoondeathnoises8756

3 жыл бұрын

@@princessadrigirl6774 not that i think you should have to justify wearing a pair of shoes, but have you explained this to people when they try to call you out for it? I'm sorry that people act like that, I hope they get some perspective and realize that not every aspect of the style is attainable for everyone and accept that not everything has to be their sense of perfect to be good.

@ItsVictoriaG

3 жыл бұрын

@@princessadrigirl6774 look up Reebok Candy Land Club C Shoes! Those come in kids size 2 and they’re glittery!

I had a convo with someone on reddit who said “animal ears” shouldn’t be used with egl because it makes it look like a costume/furry. They can take my cat/bunny ears from my cold dead body.

@doggyspeak

3 жыл бұрын

I've seen people in partial fursuit wearing proper full lolita coords on top, they're pretty common on furaffinity and they're a great addition to kemono-style fursuits! Partial fursuits are something people rarely wear costumes with. Most partial fursuits (usually only the head, paws, and tail instead of the whole bodysuit) are of someone's fursona, so the costume is meant to represent a person, the clothes they wear are just normal fashion.

@solarstar7509

3 жыл бұрын

@@doggyspeak I've also seen one furry (idk their name or anything) who wears a full fursuit with lolita and they're so cute!!

@lunarose9

3 жыл бұрын

Even if it was a character in some way, Characters can have different fashion styles, there are a lot of canonically goth characters and people don't use that as an arguemnt to dismiss goth fashion.

I’m going to a tea party on Sunday... it’s not a lolita tea party but it’s a tea party, I’ve been instructed to wear one of my fancy hats... I have a hat problem, I’m thinking that dressing up for my hat is reasonable. I’m going to wear my first cord to an assisted living facilities tea party 🎊 wish me luck.

@Tenko72

3 жыл бұрын

This is one of the most precious things I've ever read. Good luck.

@HunterLvyiXIII

3 жыл бұрын

So wholesome :D good luck!

@healedkyber

3 жыл бұрын

The residents will love it I'm sure!

Gates can be good sometimes, it can keep people safe. It’s the gatekeepers you have to watch out for.

@daikucoffee5316

3 жыл бұрын

What about Bill Gates?

@SebastianSeanCrow

3 жыл бұрын

@@daikucoffee5316 he’s extra bad

@pleaseignorethisismyoldaccount

3 жыл бұрын

@@daikucoffee5316 bill gates is a good guy, we eat the rich like that piece of crap besoz ^^

@MysticOceanDollies

3 жыл бұрын

@@pleaseignorethisismyoldaccount Bill Gates like Bezos is an opportunist, but tries a bit harder to keep a good public image.

@rikkirikki4892

3 жыл бұрын

@@pleaseignorethisismyoldaccount Nah. We eat Gates too babe.

good rule of thumb: if someone cannot change a thing about themselves in 2 minutes or less, don't comment on it.

As a baby Lolita, I genuinely don’t understand how people get Lolita wrong. If you do one google search and just look at the photos you’ll get an idea for what Lolita is and isn’t.

@brighteyes_hope

3 жыл бұрын

I (sadly) still remember my ita days although they're over a decade ago by now but I think it needs a trained eye to some extent or someone to explain to really get the crucial points of the fashion ... as in where to look in a coord and why.

@waterbaby3131

3 жыл бұрын

@@brighteyes_hope I totally agree I’m still learning more everyday. My point was more directed towards the people who wear things that are clearly not Lolita (like the latest fiasco of someone wearing lingerie) Also people who do no research and expect whatever community they’re trying to become apart of to teach them irritate the hell out of me (my other hobby is keeping exotic animals so it definitely stems from that) There is so much info we can access at the click of a button but so many people just don’t use it

@fury5500

3 жыл бұрын

I was going to say what Brighteyes Hope said, but i think a lot people treat lolita like a competition to make the edgiest and most creative co-ord possible, which often causes people to disregard taste or it's a matter of just having poor taste in the first place. Overall some people just want to be special.

@butterbun7033

Жыл бұрын

That's one reason I genuinely think some people do it on *purpose.* Especially nowadays there just isn't an excuse to totally have zero idea what it looks like because you can just look it up. They just see "lolita" as a trend and something to hop on to get attention but they don't *actually* like the style so they appropriate the name and apply it to whatever they actually like dressing as. Which is why we get people wearing shein pleated skirts and Liz Lisa replica sweaters and calling themselves "lolitas."

Just what I needed to see today. Honestly, your content is a big part of what keeps me in the fashion. I'm a minor without a job, so it takes ages to save up for wardrobe pieces, and I used to worry that I wouldn't be wanted. Your videos make me excited to participate in the fashion, even when it's just saving up the money to get my second dress.

@TylerWillis

3 жыл бұрын

I just want to take a moment to say how fracking cool it is that you're saving up and not giving up even though it takes some waiting. That's dedication, and it makes my fracking day if anything I've said helps you keep going. Hecking congrats on getting that first dress!

@Talonistrying

3 жыл бұрын

@@TylerWillis Thanks! Yeah, your videos really help me stay motivated and your outfits are great inspiration! My only dress was a birthday present (AP's Jewelry Aquarium) and I try to build a coord with it whenever I wear it. Really excited to get a new one, probably an indie brand or from a taobao reseller. But anyway, yeah, thanks for making such great content lol.

@TylerWillis

3 жыл бұрын

That's such a cute print!! Such a great birthday gift too. Always so happy to hear about people getting stuff that isn't random Hello Kitty as gifts😂 Thank you for taking time out to watch these ridiculously long videos, and I hope your next dress is cute/you get a great deal💖

@Talonistrying

3 жыл бұрын

@@TylerWillis Oh god, the random Hello Kitty stuff! I almost forgot about that lol. But yeah, I love the print (I have kind of a soft spot for marine prints/coords). Thanks for taking the time to respond to my rambling lol. 🖤

@Kyoko5075

3 жыл бұрын

@@Talonistrying Marine prints are great and there are a ton of them. I'm around Tyler's age and started in the fashion a long time ago and more than half my wardrobe was bought in the last year. Just stick with it, you don't need a huge wardrobe to rock the fashion.

To Grandma: THANKS! I WAS ASKING MYSELF THOSE QUESTIONS TOO! To Tyler: THANKS! FINALLY SOME ANSWERS

it's the same with other styles. you can't take one floral quilt, toss it in a modern bedroom, and call the place cottagecore. there is a definition, and even if it's a loose definition, once you stray too far from it, it's no longer the thing. it may be similar, but a muffin and a cupcake, while similar, are not the same thing. loltia has specific rules that state what it is. some are bendable, you can break one or two, but don't go nuts.

As far I understood "that youtuber" video there're lots of people who will be like "you can't be lolita cause your skin/gender/weight, why are you upset it's cOnCrIt". Actual concrit is obviously beneficial but some people just talk trash and then hide behind "concrit" shield. Other than that I agree that strict rules and gatekeeping is what kept lolita going for so long.

@doggyspeak

3 жыл бұрын

Some of it is also about people getting concrit unconsensually, and people feeling emboldened by the fact "this is the internet you put yourself out there" or "i wasnt being hurtful im just saying my opinion/trying to help". Its intimidating to newbies and more sensitive folks (for example someone with ADHD who's especially affected by rejection or a disapproving tone). Concrit makes up a lot of lolita communication, its the primary way some people participate in the community, but its not for everyone and people need to be respectful of boundaries like that.

@itsalwayshalloweenexceptwh5118

3 жыл бұрын

In my opinion there aren't lots of people who will be like "you can't be lolita cause your skin/gender/weight, why are you upset it's cOnCrIt" in the lolita community.

@mangogo44

3 жыл бұрын

@@itsalwayshalloweenexceptwh5118 what about online though? I don't think it's common in person either

@itsalwayshalloweenexceptwh5118

3 жыл бұрын

@@mangogo44 With "the community" I meant both the offline and online part of the community.

The problem is any fashion is ultimately an aesthetic, and anything aesthetic is by it's nature, difficult to define. Different people are going to interpret it in different ways and even with a community that can clearly define it's boundaries there's always going to be some line that is a little blurry and is left to fall into the "You know it when you see it" category. That being said, Tyler makes a good point about there being a community with it's own culture and rules layered on top of that aesthetic which makes the boundaries of Lolita less blurry than most aesthetics. P.S. I'm using "respectable marmot" from now on

As a goth, so much of this applies except with the music core instead of a fashion core. You are spot on in how personal investment matters and it separates the lolitas/goths from the itas/poseurs. Gatekeeping isn't bad when enforcing the basic structure is what keeps subcultures alive for 40+ years. I like your distinction between being nice vs kind. Education is not a personal insult. Education is opening the gate so they can come in. Love this video!

Thank you for stating the truth Tyler! And again to the people in the back, Lolita is NOT A FRIGGIN COSTUME!!!!

@EclecticallyEccentric

3 жыл бұрын

@@alijane6675 Some people do wear lolita to work. There are people who wear it everyday, called lifestyle lolitas.

@sarasaturnalia

3 жыл бұрын

@@alijane6675 lol all fashion must be now be funeral or work appropriate. Got it.

@triplehearts914

3 жыл бұрын

@@alijane6675 not every lolita coord is this over the top lol. casual lolita most definitely exists! also to be fair, most of the people that wear this fashion sort of know not to wear it to funerals or work anyways.

@jadenjessejim4evr

3 жыл бұрын

@@alijane6675 Tyler's cool and all but she's no one's leader lmao what're you on about

@avantikashaha7959

3 жыл бұрын

@@alijane6675 People have covered that work thing so, there are actual dresses in this fashion that have funeral motifs. Lolitas at a funeral would be the best dressed, ngl.

something I worry about with concrit and maybe this is due to me getting into the fashion in the "sweet boom" but I find criticism and what is considered ita lately is weighed towards non sweet substyles, especially as a person who prefers non-printed dresses and non pastels. Also yeah the style has changed throughout the years but now we have old-school and 2013 ott sweet like just bc the trends change over time no ones going to come into your closet and take surgery carnival from you. especially with a style so documented the actual style changing over time I think is important to keep the life in the fashion(AP can only make the same dress so many times before people get bored of the fashion). Also I've found that people will only accept new styles if it comes from brands which worries me about the commercialization of lolita(see fishnets/animal ears are fine now bc ap sells them). Or people so worried about being out of line that they only buy from the big recognized brands(which again hurts non sweet styles bc no way you spin it Baby and Ap are the most recognized and accessible brands and they're not exactly non sweet friendly). I think you can experiment with the fashion with keeping the tenants of lolita which is essentially(in my own book) a noncommercial community-based feminine fashion which bc what is feminine in the mainstream changes with time and place going to be subjective and changing . I especially worry about the equation of lolita fashion with brands or that the draw is the investment I don''t think the 90s lolitas were buying 1000 dollar dresses. obviously we need to protect against people who bring harm to the community(if you think anyone is arguing for that that is a very bad faith take) but the person mixing their v-kei or kawaii clothes into it is not harm to the community.

@OkamiRose

3 жыл бұрын

Yes, but mixing styles is just that. Mixing styles. It's no longer just one style anymore and that's the point people don't seem to want to get. When people ignore all the set rules people made about lolita just so they can call an outfit lolita goes against the fashion's whole basis and decades of designing specifically for certain silhouettes. That's why experimental coords are usually good when someone has put in the work to understand the fashion first before mixing lots of different jfashion or cute culture styles and then calling it lolita. It's reductive.

I had a whole thing typed out and I don't want to give people a wall of nothing text, so instead I'll just say this- There is a thrifting fashion culture out there Tyler! It's mostly around people who "Thrift Flip", taking thrifted items and altering them so that they fit or are trendier/suit their personal style. Coolirpa, Annika Victoria and Micarah Tewers are the first KZreadr names that come to my mind in regards to that and I believe there are a couple of Lolita sewing channels who seem to be in a similar vein (whether it's them taking thrifted items or combining multiple taobao pieces I think varies on the KZreadr), so don't ignore that intersection! It exists and needs to brought to light more. Handmade is hard, whether by scratch or thrifted.

I agree with that you said about lolita staying lolita because of its guidelines and rules. People want to experiment and have their own style and that's awesome but people need to accept that not everything they try is going to be "lolita", and that being "lolita-inspired" instead is fine. People get really personal about their clothes, and that's understandable, no one wants their style choices to be insulted, but if you want to be a part of the fashion community then you do have to abide by some rules, otherwise it's like calling yourself a vegan but still buying leather goods, just say you're a vegetarian then.

Yes. Yes it is. Anything that keeps people who want to cling to an established group for clout out is 100% valid. Anything to keep keep people who want to change an established group to their own wants at the cost of the people who have been in that group being pushed out for disagreeing with the change out is 100% valid.

@atinyevil1383

3 жыл бұрын

That was a pointed comment, but I don’t disagree.

@pleaseignorethisismyoldaccount

3 жыл бұрын

I think we should let people join if they actually understand the fashion and aren't trying to change the literal community.

Let's talk about how people usually are attracted to this subculture in order to feel confident and how the harsh environment within it has created a vacuum that I theorize is destroying the community as a whole! :)

@OkamiRose

3 жыл бұрын

Some people thrive when listening and learning from actual art critique. Coording is an art. :) Therefore people who understand critique get good mileage from it.

@DrFeelGoood

2 жыл бұрын

@@OkamiRose not everyone gets into a fashion style to be critiqued

@Talonistrying

2 жыл бұрын

Telling someone that a clearly-not-lolita outfit is, while cute, not lolita, isn't harsh, though. These guidelines help keep the community strong, and when a newbie needs help, in my experience, the overwhelming majority of people have been very gentle in suggesting what changes could be made and where to find cheap pieces. :)

I love the Amanda Bynes as Ask Ashley vibes I get from the setup using your bed.

@caelmack

3 жыл бұрын

Yesssss, I could never put my finger on what this segment reminds me of! Thank you!

@JL0ndon

3 жыл бұрын

“Dear Ashley….” Thaaaaaaats me!

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: it's *really* fuckin easy to slip out of one J-fashion style and into another completely by accident. Experimenting is fine but at a certain point you've lost too many of the parts that make lolita what it is. At that point you might as well call it something else. Super easy to end up in fairy kei or visual kei territory. I've seen some individuals go straight into cult party kei and still call it lolita even thought almost none of it was discernably lolita at that point. Lolita fashion does need _some_ boundaries. Because those "rules" are what defines it. If we're just gonna start slapping whatever together and calling it lolita, I personally think the fashion disolves and dies at that point. Once it loses its structure it no longer has a form. No form no fashion. [Specifically, I mean. Anything you wear is fashion, but *a* named and structured fashion is what I'm refering to.] I don't think there's anything wrong with a fashion evolving but what usually happens in that case is that you see a new fashion spawn from an older one and take its own name. There is nothing wrong with the elder fashion and spawnling co-existing. But if we never draw a line about where one ends and the other begins, well... whichever one is seen as easier and more convenient takes over and the other one dies. We can pretty well guess which version would win out. I'm personally not ready to see lolita as it is die. I'm pretty sure I know exactly which youtuber was referenced here and I was honestly concerned by the free-for-all nature of the comments section in that many people seemed eager to watch lolita fashion as it is [as in appearance and structure] roast on a spit in favor of "anything goes happy fun time". Wear whatever you want as that's your buisness, but what's the point of even naming fashions if they have no real meaning or definition? Incidentally I too had mixed feelings on that video and ended up journaling a whole rant cause there were a lot of things I wanted to express but I felt any one of my points would have been taken the wrong way in that comment section. So I put my thoughts somewhere more private.

I think experimenting is good and healthy for any subculture, it just needs a good strong core so the main idea stays intact. It's a balance. For example, you mentioned goths- Goth is a music style defined by various things, such as deep droning vocals, synths, strong beats, deep basslines, certain guitar styles, occasional use of violins, macabre lyrics with a lot of poetic imagery, etc. etc. Does every goth song or genre have all of these elements combined perfectly? No, not at all. Sometimes it only uses a few, and there's lots of variation. But the general consensus is that you need some combination of these things to make a goth genre, and though there's different rules for different genres under the goth umbrella, these general core sounds created by the original genres of postpunk, gothic rock, and darkwave are the key. The fashion of the subculture is inspired mainly by the music artists and dark energy of the songs, and can consist of any number of dark alt styles, but that's a whole other rabbithole. Back onto the subject of lolita, I think it kind of works in a similar way. Lots of variation, different rules for specific substyles, but some core things that make it distinct from other subcultures that most people agree on. I think lolita is mainly defined by its silhouette. Oldschool lolita is very different from what you'd see in a BTSSB or Angelic Pretty store, but the main things we generally see in both are: - skirt poofiness/cupcake silhouettes (usually created by petticoats or hoopskirts) - historical inspirations (vintage collar and sleeve types, lace, ruffles, etc.) - headpieces and bows - midi skirt length - tights and/or socks with ruffles or patterns on them - some kind of layering of different pieces to add visual interest You can remove one or two elements and add in others if you want to experiment and have fun, but you generally need some combination of these things (the most important/essential ones being the first two in the list imo) to be lolita. Otherwise, it's usually just a different j-fashion. Which is fine! No shame in that, as long as you don't claim it's lolita, that's totally cool and valid. But, these are just my opinions so I'm open to discussing what should and shouldn't be allowed in lolita (and goth! I like talking about both) with anyone who wants to, as long as the conversation stays respectful.

I felt bad about sharing a dress that was too small for community members.

@vickyb1919

3 жыл бұрын

I, a smol lolita, appreciates you

"itas in cages" - I am dead! She killed me. There is tea spit all over my phone now...🤣🤣🤣

Everything needs a little gatekeeping. If it's too open people who didn't like how it was to begin with starts changing things and not for the better. Just to satisfy themselves under the guise of "we're being more inclusive". Of course nothing is perfect and can always be better, but the heart of the original thing should always be there.

I 100% agree with the first note. Sometimes it feels hard to disagree with popular content creator's points! Even if you like them. Stans are scary man @_@ I agree with this entire video tbh! Its really really refreshing to see this topic talked about in a way that feels....real? I dunno. (ive been struggling to find a word to use for like 10 minutes)

I think a lot of the issues come in from the gray areas where people can't decide if certain aspects are acceptable. I'm terrified of basing a coord off a character in case someone screams it's ita. And some of my ideas aren't readily acceptable, like a cybergoth Lolita coord. I feel like if I tried it, while still keeping to the basics, I'd get chewed out. I get that worry and I would like to think most of the community would accept this...but the fear is still there.

@itsalwayshalloweenexceptwh5118

3 жыл бұрын

There are multiple places that could help you if you wanted help turning a "not sure if this is lolita" outfit into an outfit that is safely within lolita territory.

@TheCoyoteOutlaw

3 жыл бұрын

@@itsalwayshalloweenexceptwh5118 Such as?

@itsalwayshalloweenexceptwh5118

3 жыл бұрын

​@@TheCoyoteOutlaw For facebook; "lolita fashion mentoring" is my first recommendation because there are only qualified people there giving advice. If you're plus sized (in terms of lolita fashion not your local mainstream fashion brands, generally a bust measurement over 95cm) you can ask "Positive & plus size lolita/egl Q&A" for styling help and help finding items. Big sisters of lolita fashion would be my last choice since everyone (beginners and seasoned lolitas alike) gets to give advice, which means that beginners who don't understand the fashion themselves all that well yet get to give advice which can lead to confusion with the people asking for advice. There are advice groups/spaces on other platforms but I don't venture outside of fb.

@TheCoyoteOutlaw

3 жыл бұрын

@@itsalwayshalloweenexceptwh5118 Awesome! Thank you so much!!

@itsalwayshalloweenexceptwh5118

3 жыл бұрын

@@TheCoyoteOutlaw Glad I could help.

To my mind, Concrit is something that involves advising someone on small things that can be touched up or fixed within the realms of someone's physical, financial, etc ability or be improved with time, experience and input. It's not a word to hide behind when projecting nastiness, discriminating against someone based on physical characteristics/gender/whatever, or otherwise tearing someone down. Everyone starts somewhere, or is a newer person at some point, and concrit is a tool to help people lift each other up and improve. Far too many people use it as an excuse to tear people to shreds over benign things- Funnily enough the Lolita community is the place I've seen it used in this manner the least? (Art groups being probably the worst offenders, but I digress).

@Kyoko5075

3 жыл бұрын

This. I started in ye olde live journal days and I had asked for concrit on one of my 1st coords and someone basically told me to shave my brows cuz they didn't like that I have thick hair. It made my self conscious teen self very wary of asking for help again. Which is sad cuz I got some very good advice on how to color balance better.

I think what people need to figure out is that a) you can wear pieces of a lolita coord and still have a good outfit without it BEING a lolita outfit and b) people aren't accusing you of being a bad person when they inform you that your outfit is not lolita(for the most part, at least. There are some shitty Lolitas that actually harass people over a dress that was incorrectly marketed to the person as lolita and like...c'mon guys. Yes, it sucks when Lolita is misrepresented, but for the most part, it's just people who were introduced with misinformation, but are just wearing clothes they like. You can just say "that's not lolita bc . If you want to make a lolita outfit, you can get back with me", you don't need to be a jerk about it)

I absolutely love how Grandma worded those questions, I have been asking those same questions, but without near as much eloquence. I wish I could see the full letter somewhere!

As an ouji, I have such a squicky reaction to my clothes being called "royaltycore," because it almost feels like a fashion I love and has meaninh and depth on its own has been watered down and eaten by another aesthetic

Wow that choker is really wonderful! You've got real talent in choker production! I imagine people might want to buy some of those off you if you wanted to keep going with that. 😃 Edit.... In my humble opinion your choker is way cooler than the one you were trying to buy anyways!

@TylerWillis

3 жыл бұрын

My questionable sewing abilities are absolutely fracking honored to be compared to AP in any way, thank you, so hecking sweet💖💖

@chaoticneutralsheep

3 жыл бұрын

@@TylerWillis I would definitely buy one of those, my love for ribbon chokers and the powerpuff girls colour palette in one piece. ❤️

@holicxhunter

3 жыл бұрын

@@TylerWillis Woah i didn't even know it was handmade?! I was admiring it too, it's pretty and looked like it was part of an official set, like from Wrapping Heart or something? lol dayum ya got me bamboozled. that's mad talent. @q@

another brazilian lolita brand being hyped up on your channel omg! I'm so proud of my community,, I was there when CottonCandyFeet began producing and selling their shoes in Brazil only and I still have and wear the shoes I bought from them way back then, they're so cute and incredible and I'm so happy they're now international so that lolitas everywhere are able to enjoy their products! they deserve all the hype! enjoy your shoulder bag, Tyler!!!

Yay, she's back!

honestly gyaru (from an outsider perspective) reminded me of the jfashion version of "swag" culture, rather than egirl

Also, sorry to double post but the price topic reminded me of someone I saw recently who had just bought a bunch of shit off Killstar and complained that lolita fashion is "too pricey, and not very shape inclusive". I've not had a look at that site for a while but as far as I recall it was never exactly cheap, or shape inclusive. I just had to guffaw at the irony. I've had to buy full work uniforms that cost more than Bodyline.

to quote one of my fave musicals- "Nice is different than good."

Coording is an art. Sometimes you post your art online for people to enjoy and appreciate, and sometimes you post it to receive feedback in order to improve. Lolita is the same; if you want feedback, you have a way to get it, and if you don't want feedback, then just say so and people respect that. Concrit itself isn't the problem, it's racists/ableists/etc that feel the need to spread their gross agenda through a subculture that's meant to just be a fun hobby.

I love your channel! I just spent 3 hours watching your videos. I’m not even a Lolita (would love to be one) and I soooo appreciate your views on things. And your humour is so engaging. ❤️❤️❤️

Ahh yayy new video!! I am so glad to see you are posting again :3 I love your videos, i just have binge watching all if your older ones again lol you crack me up!!

Your energy in this is straight up fecking delightful. Thank you for being the salty voice of reason in a sea of wtf.

I genuinely wish we were a bit more strict about the fashion? I’m not a fan of people using crop tops and miniskirts and calling it ‘lolita’. If it’s a newbie mistake, or something as simple as wearing a plain blouse from a non-lolita company - absolutely fine. But when it starts to delve into sexualized fashion… yeah, that’s not lolita anymore.

I think a minimal amount of gatekeeping is fine, but when I say minimal... I think what defines lolita can get kind of...idk, esoteric and hard to define in concrete terms. I think experimentation is great, and over time, the goal posts for what is and isn't lolita end up shifting so what used to be a trend or revolutionary just gets folded in as a "regular" part of the fashion. I love experimental coords and coords that break a rule or two, but think that if you diverge from either the structure (silhouette) or the aesthetic (the "feel") I guess it will lose what makes it lolita. You can take a bit from one or a bit from the other, but take too much from both and the outfit ceases to be lolita. For example, you can skip a petti or a blouse (silhouette) or you can wear sneakers and a jean or leather jacket (aesthetic). but do all of those and it starts to look like lolita less and less. Veterans know how to toe the line best. I think it's good to warn people against scams like milanoo. I also think it's good to keep out fetishists, predators, sales scammers, ban people who hurt, disparage, and abuse other members etc. I also think the dildoface debacle was not appropriate bc there were minors in the community where it was posted. Now what about gatekeeping quality, like coords that are just plain bad? Some people come in as beginners and want no help, no opinions, nothing. When you try, they say "it's MY style" or "it's MY OWN VERSION" of lolita. What to do with those people? I say, nothing. Don't even try. And you don't need to. Know why? Because they didn't bother to learn the bare minimum about the fashion, so you can already tell they don't want to commit to the fashion. They're not gonna have a built up following. They're barely gonna be a ripple, never mind diluting the fashion. Don't heap them with praise, don't disparage them, don't shit talk them, don't abuse them, leave them alone. They will get bored and leave and the fashion will not be worse off. You can't help someone who doesn't want help, why bother? *This excludes celebrities or social media personalities that try out lolita and get it totally wrong. But I think the point here is mostly about correcting misinformation so that they don't make the fashion and community look bad as a whole. At least when you give unsolicited concrit to a celeb, you know you're not punching down lol. And as an aside, a good reason why I don't think everyone needs to be open to concrit is that people are just PLAIN FUCKING BAD at concrit. Seriously. Apart from critiquing thing that cannot be changed, or cannot be changed easily like weight, bodytype, skintone, glasses, hair type, etc. so many people forget that something not being to your personal taste doesn't mean you need to rip it apart. People sometimes don't even know what looks good and end up offering advice that's contradictory or plain useless. Like no thanks lol

I love the points I got some answers but my brain is stuck on the matte pink op with no print on the mannequin. I mean gorgeous cute dress but for Tyler it's just not what I expected to see lol

is gatekeeping good? yes. in certain instances, no.

@Shrifbun

3 жыл бұрын

Gatekeeping based on the clothing and rules itself, cool! Gatekeeping based on people's weight/color/mobility/gender/sexuality, not cool!

I really like the part you say pay attention to the children, I don't even like them...it is something I could totally say x') More seriously, I do agree with you (as always) even being a French person (you talk so fast :') ), I've studied japanese culture in uni, I lived there 2 years, i can tell, Japanese people, most of the time are "gatekeepers" it's very much is their culture (I don't know if I express myself correctly here) for example, if you take irezumi (Japanese traditionnal tatoo) you just CAN'T say you are doing irezumi if you decide to put super realistics details for example, it would be tattoo yes, but you can't say it's irezumi. Irezumi artists, usually use very specific codes, and learn them thanks to professional in the domain, I believe same thing goes for lolita fashion. in Japan, people are aware it should respond to specific codes to be called that, and everybody agree on these codes. That's my experience :)

"mana made iron gate for a reason" amen

This girl is a fan of both lolita and rabbits so I'm loving this coord! I don't own any lolita but definitely spiritually live it through your videos and Lors. Y'all are the perfect balance of lolita the Salty and Sweet, rolled together to make the perfect Lolita Taffy. Even though I can't wear it I'm hoping to commission a classic lolita outfit for my bjd Krum. 💜🐇💜

your bedroom is coming along so nicely! I love all the little touches you've put in.

Yeah! I missed your videos. Even my non Lolita partner adores your content. Please don’t forget how many of us care for you! I am hopeful that we will meet in person at a con soon!

I have nothing of value to add, but I just want to say that I'm so, so, SO happy you're back!

I'm excited to watch!

Imagine starting to see it at stores in the mall and now everyone is wearing it as the new way to stand out, much like goth fashion these days.

I love this video as a newbie. it helped me feel like I'm on the right path. Part of the reason I started lolita was for the hunt for clothing. Like what I used to do for vintage clothing. I have special vintage nightmare before Christmas vans loafers. I got for a kodona circus cord i wanna do that works great. U just have to be smart and crafty and so many lolita are.

It's gatekeeping yes but unlike most gatekeepers that hide the keys or try and change the locks on people the lolita locks are the same locks that go with the keys that seasoned lolitas are handing out some people just don't wanna take them

i also really enjoy concrit, i want to know what people think of my outfit and i want suggestions on how to improve my look. any other fashion substyle would benefit from some basic rules and concrit.

BREAKING NEWS: Tyler Willis doesn't pay for items at Goodwill, she just steals them. Evidence at time stamp 9:42. This was just a joke, love you Tyler!

@SebastianSeanCrow

3 жыл бұрын

Tbf Goodwill is awful lol

The phrase you were looking for is "cruel to be kind"

Was interesting when you mentioned Lolitta has been around since the 70's. Would be interesting to see some images over all that time. All I've seen is since 2000's or so.

@martinamakek9608

3 жыл бұрын

The stichess has videos on the history of lolita as well as other japanese street fashions

Just when I started to miss your content for real. Thank you for another great video.

Wow, KZread actually notified me on time. Love the dress in the background. :)

So excited for a new video!

Love your videos! I always learn many things thanks to you! Also your outfit is super gorgeous!!

Ferrets are mustelids and marmots are rodents! CANCELLED! :D

@EclecticallyEccentric

3 жыл бұрын

False. Ferrets are actually long cats.

It's good to see you again Tyler! After all that drama I was worried about you lol

Thanks for another one Tyler

16 bows that’s all I wanted to say

@cbayon106

3 жыл бұрын

I counted 20

@unknownunknown-un9xw

3 жыл бұрын

17....

Gothic fashion which already kind of went along the lines of Lolita, is the only exception of what you said. Will still wear the frills and cute stuff, some of us take inspiration from adult rococo attire. Then there is the punk Lolita which can possibly be adopted by E-Girls easily. I'm going to be honest, regarding other things that are not fashion related. Sometimes the gatekeepers accuse people of gatekeeping...

@HunterLvyiXIII

3 жыл бұрын

Got accused of gatekeeping (I wasn't) on a spiritual topic and I needed that second paragraph, thank you

“A mini fridge’s worth of money” 😂

im gonna be honest maybe lolitas should just stop using facebook because facebook gives you brain damage

rules of lolita cupcake/bell silloughetted dress modesty (not showing too much skin, no shoulders or upper thighs) feminine!!!!! (not limited to females do not misunderstand me anyone can do lolita) those are like the main three rules people!!!!!

@solarstar7509

3 жыл бұрын

Honestly even those rules can be bent. A lot of old school has low/no petti and a siloughette that doesn't look like a cupcake or bell, and shoulders are perfectly fine in honestly a lot of coords. It's more that you need to learn the rules before you can break them

" I don't collect weasels" , i lost it....

I love the choker! 🎀🎀🎀

Most of lolitas on yt: oh my, is it about me? Me: you don't have to be drama queen to know

@FeministCatwoman

3 жыл бұрын

Yes! Well said

I can practically smell the caffeine that fueled this video

*Zooms in on neck* Vampires: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Interesting.

You're so inspirational☺️

Boundaries are important!

This has nothing to do with this particular video, but this is the latest one from Tyler, hence why I'm commenting. It's honestly fucking ridiculous and horrendous how people on Dorian's channel(I haven't seen and don't think Dorian himself is feeding into it, so I'm not blaming him) are saying lolitas are mean, awful people, and blaming the 'toxic' lolita community and Tyler for Dorian's eating disorder relapse. Seeing so many comments saying lolitas dress like little girls and thus don't have a right to be taken seriously. Sigh....

@FeministCatwoman

3 жыл бұрын

Lol this makes me sooo mad because Dorian was the one fatshaming people in a video from a year ago and has been known to say incredibly harmful problematic things without thinking, so it's incredibly rich that his fans now decided to finger point Lolitas. The goth community is problematic, and I don't think they're in any position to be coming for anybody else

@ReijiAoeGirl666

3 жыл бұрын

Ah yes, Dorian‘s community....they believe he can sense ghosts and talk to them, so there is that.

I haven't even watched a minute of the video, but i just wanna say, Tyler you are so cool. Thank you for all the awesome videos you put out

This is the video we all needed.

I'm a guy here who's fascinated by Lolita fashion. Tried joining Closet of Frills and Rufflechat on Facebook, but so far haven't heard back from either groups. Feels like the gatekeepers aren't very welcoming towards me. 😕

Can't wait for the other video 👀 sounds like tea and I live for 🍵 thanks for bringing up this topic, grandma an Tyler! There are pros and cons to almost everything in life (especially when it comes to the way we communicate with other humans) and it's important to talk about both!!! Is it bad that I'm 100% sure I watched that concrit vid but I can't for the life of me remember who's video it was???? 😅 There are so many lolita KZreadrs now that I can't keep them straight 😵

there is a formula for lolita fashion. thats what makes the fashion THE fashion and not just any j fashion. its not an insult to tell someone that they need to add this or that to be truly lolita. if you want to be a lolita you follow the basic guidelines, its not that hard.

"like there's brain bleeds going around"... I'm def stealing that one XD

Yes.

Anyone know the dress behind Tyler? I love it so muchhh

Good video that can be applied to just about any group. (rant on non existence of large mens fashion redacted)

good luck with that second shot!! omg it really destroyed me

Lol the best way to respect the fashion if you do something that is a little out of the lines of Lolita. For example I like to turn anime charters into a *lolita inspired version* but it is always inspired by Lolita in a whole, but I would never say this is Lolita it’s still cosplay just a fun way to mix the two. Like Miku as a Lolita. But thank you Tyler love you so much :)

Tyler: I'm saving your life Cameraman: mlem

If this fashion was traffic instead of fashion...think about it.

Don't come after goths. We have also been around since the 1970s.

What is the name of the pink dress on the mannequin in the background? It’s so cute!