Yes, exactly - soft to others but not soft to our selfs... This is my problem..

@hacsince91

6 жыл бұрын

Julia Majo always!

@kyskyice1991

6 жыл бұрын

Same

@painfreesunrise

5 жыл бұрын

same here... :'(

@thommbean2805

5 жыл бұрын

Soft to other not myself

@TaxEvasi0n

4 жыл бұрын

I’m soft to others and hard to myself

INFJs need to remember the "oxygen mask" principle: Put your own mask on before you try to help someone else.. I realise that may sound selfish; but it literally took me until the age of 40 to learn that if I didn't take care of myself, I wouldn't be able to take care of anyone else.

@burnbabylonburn78

6 жыл бұрын

Claytos Republic so true! I’m 39 and I’m just now starting to realize this...thanks!

@rejoyy

6 жыл бұрын

Claytos Republic - well said. As an INFJ myself, these days am focusing on improving my situation and have moved away from social media and offline socilaizing etc to invest in my spiritual, mental, physical and financial self. I would still help out people if they asked and visit a few close friends and family but am brief about it and am largely focusing on "filling my glass up" before "pouring into others". You gotta have in yourself what you want to give. Also, it's more inspiring and helpful when you have achieved something before helping others achieve what they want. Cheers and all the best my INFJ friend

@seamusburke1828

5 жыл бұрын

I'm not sure when I realised that but I wish it was a lot sooner!

@AmbiCahira

5 жыл бұрын

I had to learn this too for sure

@jamesjosephkeating4th569

5 жыл бұрын

Claytos Republic thank you

I'm an INFJ who's experienced the INFJ doorslam from another INFJ. Very odd experience.

@danikittie

7 жыл бұрын

JMB Healing Can you tell us about it. I'd love to read it.

@animegravy8024

6 жыл бұрын

LOL!

@the701squad

6 жыл бұрын

just did it to another INFJ and that was also very weird. Justified tho, obviously. lol

@Lindamorena

6 жыл бұрын

danikittie please tell us more

@angeramirez25

6 жыл бұрын

Oh please share the whole story p

It sometimes concerns me (INFJ) that I can walk away without tears or regrets.

@raafetchoukri3121

7 жыл бұрын

I have the same dreadful insight everytime...

@Emily-on1cz

7 жыл бұрын

Same, it's concerning to me as my family expects me to cry when I simply cannot at the moment

@elfenkinderundschattenwesen

7 жыл бұрын

Same... I doorslammed my aunt (for a reason), and sometimes it scares me how cold and dismissive I am towards her, although I am generally a really warm, kind and sensitive person. It's like in her presence my Fe totally shuts down and my Ti takes over...

@iamsoohappy

7 жыл бұрын

John Armstrong I believe it's a defense mechanism that we apply when we feel another person has applied abusive behavior towards us after a prolonged period of time. Initially I think we are generous with our time, and invest a lot of emotional and mental energy trying to maintain healthy connections and harmonizing situations, but like anyone we have a threshold, and when we reach that point...we cut ties and losses and move on. At that point, we have exhausted any possibility of maintaining the connection, we have exhausted options, and is just makes the most sense to withdraw ourselves and let go. I find during the process, there are feelings of resentment because I feel I've invested so much of myself, while the other person has left me feeling used, abused, and at times neglected. However, as I mature, I realize I am also at fault because of my lack of boundaries, inability to discern, and a lack of communication on my part because I don't want to hurt someone else's feelings. In the end, I am hurt the most, and the other person is left befuddled by my sudden absence from their life.

@_thechosen

6 жыл бұрын

@iamsoohappy Spot on! It seems INFJs fall under category of people pleasers. INFJs are not comfortable talking about their boundaries with others. It seems they expect others to respect their boundaries which is not always the case, because there are unaware people, ungrateful and just junk people who do not. When that happens INFJs tend to blame them for that.

All or nothing, never do something halfway.. That's always been me. Unfortunately, it usually means you do nothing, since the idealism prevents us from feeling ready to pull the trigger. Since almost nothing meets the idealism threshold, we struggle to bring it to life in the real world. But knowing about it, and knowing that there are others, makes it easier to work on. "There are dozens of us, dozens!!"

@GiannaDianthee

8 жыл бұрын

+Kyle Grimes Couldn't of worded that better myself, thank you :) x

@christopherhannon722

6 жыл бұрын

So true. I get caught in action parallysys all the time, how can we work and start a business also? Stuck feeling

@wendyraye

6 жыл бұрын

Christopher Hannon agreed. If people only knew how much thought we give everything (over analyze) they would be surprised. I hate that what looks like laziness is paralysis, because I despise laziness!

@mikehunt4797

6 жыл бұрын

Use this mantra i do daily "Do more,Think Less" You will find it crushes that voice of contradiction and will get you more focused on not procrastinating and wasting time when you know you need to get the ball rolling.

@susanwall6418

6 жыл бұрын

Kyle Grimes, very well said. Thank you, and take care my INFJ brother.

I'm huge on friendship loyalty. I don't play favorites.

The door slam is self-preservation for me, i have spent most of my life being a people pleaser, to my detriment, these days i can only take so much bs off someone now and it's 'bye-bye'. You are beautiful by the way, try not to be hard on yourself [easier said than done, i know, as a fellow INFJ] :)

It's interesting that you talk about doing the INFJ doorslam "drastically and without much feelings involved." I wonder why this is? Probably the 'all or nothing' mentality we take into relationships. I've doorslammed people without any emotion because once I've made the decision that this person isn't going to be a part of my life, my feelings for that person are being doorslammed along with that person. Yep, we have a dark side :)

@GiannaDianthee

8 жыл бұрын

+Brian Schultz Thank you for commenting! Most definitely! The door slam only really happens when we are experiencing an Ni-Ti loop and since our Fe isn't a part of the picture we tend to recede into ourselves and start making strong conclusions and decisions as to what our next move should be. We tend to line up all the things we see as justifiable and unjustifiable in our mind and then we face the external world with this mindset and start trying to align it with our thoughts. Hence, cutting out all negative people who do not fit that ideal. If our Fe was involved in this process we would be VERY weary of the other person's feelings and wouldn't cut them out completely or would be very apprehensive to do so.

@NomadOfTheWoods8

3 жыл бұрын

it's better to act before the initial archive of intuition involved comes into play. that the risk of logic patterns can ensure a judging INFJ or learned model has foresight of not the probable of survival to certain degree of unfavored situation. think what robotic might consider and human wonder without a second guess or question allowed by emotional confusion (as a probability). however clashing before two INFJ is a differ case mostly based on ethics

@NomadOfTheWoods8

3 жыл бұрын

@@GiannaDianthee thank you for helping me understand. this might help me avoid cases I have or already faced and not yet known

i can relate to every word you said, didn't know there were people who think like me out there until i took this test. always felt like an outsider

@GiannaDianthee

8 жыл бұрын

sending positive energy your way, you are certainly not alone. 💫

@bethgitlin7871

6 жыл бұрын

beast mode yeah me too but thankfully I have a great group of friends who I can always count on

@athirasanchez9439

6 жыл бұрын

beast mode i thought i was weird amd different

beautiful face, beautiful soul, learn to accept and love yourself, be whole before meeting society, don't give up :) infj here

@GiannaDianthee

8 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for your kindness, I truly hope that other INFJs can reach that as well! ✨

I relate to all of this. I think you are a heathy INFJ overall. You have a more pure heart than I do. I have been through a lot of trauma in my life and made mistakes to deal with that trauma. I have had a major problem with self criticism and even to the point of self pity. I have definitely treated myself in a way I would never consider treating a friend. But I have come to realize that self pity is just the flip side of over glorifying yourself and even though it's based on putting yourself down it is no less selfish than someone who constantly exalts themselves. I am working on that, and believe I have made improvements. I was definitely taking care of others without taking care of myself. That hurts both parties involved. I don't mean to be overly flattering, but I do want to tell you I hope to gain more of your selfless and sweet nature. That's the kind of INFJ I want to be. Thanks girl! I subscribed to your channel. I did noticed your perfectionism coming out bc I could tell that you took several takes in the video. Don't be so self critical about your videos. They are lovely!! 💜☮️💟

@GiannaDianthee

7 жыл бұрын

+Jenni Smeltzer Thank you for being so honest in sharing a part of yourself! I'm so happy to hear about the ways in which you are growing and I love the way you break down your own personal patterns of thinking, that takes so much self awareness. Haha! You picked up on that! This video was definitely the hardest for me to film because I was going through a dark period of immense self doubt and criticism at the time. Thank you for your words of encouragement, it's definitely something I really want to let go of. I hope you're having a wonderful day, your comments were lovely to wake up to! ✨

@jennismeltzer3085

7 жыл бұрын

INFJ Instinct Thanks for replying! It's really neat when I have the opportunity to hear someone speak and then get to have interaction with them. There are so many negative things about social media and the internet, but his is the flip side of that! Being able to share with my type on how to improve myself, and being able to connect with people I would never meet otherwise is really a blessing! ☮️💜💟

@GiannaDianthee

7 жыл бұрын

+Jenni Smeltzer I couldn't agree more! 💛

@elfenkinderundschattenwesen

7 жыл бұрын

Hi Jenni, I can totally relate to you... I'm an unhealthy INFJ as well (traumas and other mental illnesses) and I also felt like Gianna seems like a really healthy INFJ and this is how I would love to be. I can tell that I've done a lot of improvement over the last three years, but I'm still working hard on myself (I guess you never actually stop working on yourself, or at least you shouldn't). I hope that you get better and start finding back to your healthy, pure and real self! All the best❤️

@jennismeltzer3085

7 жыл бұрын

Plantmunching Unicorn Thank you!!'

I love your soft spoken voice and your method for explaining things. Very accurate video. I can completely relate and agree :)

@GiannaDianthee

7 жыл бұрын

+Mayron's Hideout Thank you so much, that's the best thing to hear! :)

I can relate to the INFJ door slam as well as what you said about removing myself from relationships without emotion!! I do the same!! I have been watching a lot of INFJ videos and have never heard of the doorslam before!

@danikittie

7 жыл бұрын

Jake Wish Same here, Jake. I've done this more times than I'd like to admit and just today found out there's a name for it, and I do it because of my personality. I'm not gonna lie, I'm shook.

Any other INFJ Virgos out there?? ❤️🌺✨

@darrylmartin9705

6 жыл бұрын

Soulance Life By Gina peek a boo 😗

@CaptainPlanet007

6 жыл бұрын

Soulance Life By Gina yes and the most powerful one of it kinds.

@annapoorna.r

6 жыл бұрын

Yes! ❤️

@hiimanu

6 жыл бұрын

Yess!

@LightA37

6 жыл бұрын

Soulance Life By Gina yes but I’m a Libra

The lighting has changed? well it is the dark side after all. ....I'm sorry

@GiannaDianthee

8 жыл бұрын

+lucas meinzinger you made my day :')

I'm in love with INFJ's...I'm an ENTP-A...for the last day or so, I've been looking at my type and others..and basically, I want an INFJ lady now lol. it's your perspectives and EYES .. God all INFJ's have beautiful, deep eyes. anyway haha, Happy Monday to everyone 🙌

@JohnDeanMusic

6 жыл бұрын

fran windels yes, totally understand where you're coming from now, I actually don't care what type the woman I marry is, if it has gotten to the point of a marriage proposal, then I am certain she would be the one...there would need to be sufficient time and chemistry invested for me to even consider such a thing...but all in all, I do hope it's an INFJ hahaha

@monicasojka2738

6 жыл бұрын

Aww. That's cute! Good luck

@stevenpalma2357

6 жыл бұрын

john siafega yeah I hope you find your INFJ, it's hard to find one , but for relationships really good because we make really strong connections and try to make the other person as happy as we can.

@faybrink-yourhoustonrealtor

6 жыл бұрын

john siafega I think what you may need to be prepared for is that often INFJ and their sister the ENFJ have often been through an enormous amount of suffering and need help to feel secure, love ourselves, and heal. Fortunately ENTPs are extremely well-equipped to provide what is needed to overcome these things and an INFJ can help you overcome, or rather accept, understand, and express your emotions, reach your lofty goals, and strive together as a couple to change the world for the better. Remember to not be wreckless or take their feelings lightly, nor would I recommend manipulating them or taking advantage of the very forgiving nature of the INFJ as eventually we will become assertive and protect ourselves. If you have any questions, please feel free to friend me. - Fay the INFJ.

@manager-nim2623

5 жыл бұрын

john siafega I’m single! People say I have pretty eyes also I’m emotionally unhealthy but we can work on that

I love your perspectives. I'm also an INFJ. I relate on every point. My experience with the "door slam" isn't as often as other INFJs have claimed, or maybe I don't understand it exactly. I can only think of one person I feel I have truly door slammed. It wasn't an impulsive move. It took years for this person to wear me down to the point that I just cut them off, emotionally & relationally. It's definitely irreversible, as the levels of violation so totally destroyed trust that they will never be let in again. I still have to have this person in my life, & I can be cordial & respectful, & I've even truly forgiven them, but there's a giant wall that won't allow things to ever be personal again. The sad thing is they've changed (& I don't say that lightly) & I can actually see they're sorry, but it changes nothing for me. For some reason the door shutting was a final thing that even I couldn't undo. It would feel like an utter betrayal to myself. I do step back from relationships often that aren't healthy or when I'm doing all the giving or work, but it's not the same as the other situation. That's more leaving the ball in the other person's court & maintaining self respect. We do have pretty self sabotaging dark sides. And oh the viscous cycle of cynicism we can get into... Maybe unrelated, but I have a thing for dark humor as well. I suppose the mental torture of one's own thoughts produces this? lol - I really don't know.

@elfenkinderundschattenwesen

7 жыл бұрын

Oh my God. EXACTLY the same happened to me with my aunt! I door slammed her out of the same reasons in the same way...

I've always thought something was wrong with me until I found out that I was an INFJ and there are a lot of people just like me. I've always felt left out and did not understand why I'm so awkward at events. So thank you so much for this, your account really helped me to understand myself better. Love you, INFJ friend xx

@GiannaDianthee

7 жыл бұрын

+Arina Lity It's so wonderful to hear from you. Please remember that there is so much room for our perceived flaws (such as your quietness or awkwardness at events) to be transformed into strengths. Stay kind towards yourself lovely. x

Hi Gianna, Just found this. Thank you so much - it was lovely. I have just discovered what an INFJ is and that I am one. It only took 50 years! It is such a relief to have a clear language to explain and articulate myself. My ISFJs partner of 32 years and I have been having a wonderful time laughing and crying our way through INFJ x ISFJ stuff on the net. I really appreciate you opening up about the dark side. I know my dark side is always activated by pain and fear. I so get doorslamming. Powerful and so protective - but also so vengeful and destructive.

100% relate. Thank you so much for posting this video. I can tell that you have such a beautiful soul.

Thank you for sharing your insights about the INFJ Dark Side. Up until 3 years ago, I regularly scored as an ENTJ on the MBTI instrument. So, for more than twenty-five years I had spent a good amount of time learning about ENTJ characteristics. But in the past three years during which time I embarked on a new life path and engaged in deep spiritual work, I have been consistently scoring as an INFJ. To better understand the INFJ type, I have been listening to KZread videos and reading more about this type. Thanks again for your contribution to my greater understanding about how the dark side manifests in INFJs. I recognize some of the attributes that you've described. I have subscribed to your page and plan to visit again as I found your presentation delightful and your energy refreshing.

@GiannaDianthee

7 жыл бұрын

+McKinley Williams Thank you so much for your comment, I find your experience very intriguing! I'm really glad to know that my videos have been helpful in some way and I wish you the very best! :)

I just learned I’m a infj and I really enjoyed your video..and I believe you’re the a definition of infj personality.....you’re very calm and your voice is calming as well.💕

When we get pissed off we really get pissed off.

Thanks for taking the time to make this video. I have had problems in the past from my personality, and have only just recently discovered I am an INFJ and am quickly learning that I am not alone.

@GiannaDianthee

7 жыл бұрын

+Randy C I'm so glad it could be helpful in some way, I wish you the best! ✨

Great video, keep up the good work and have FUN doing them!! Love the wallhanging!! Keep that in your videos it blends with your coloring beautifully!!!!!

I recently found out that I too am an INFJ. So, I had to dive deeper into the concept and the celebrities. Since I love philosophy I choose to read Notes from Underground By Fyodor Dostoevsky. He too was an INFJ, and the words he spoke describing himself highlighted my vary existence. If you ever get the chance I highly recommend reading his work, or listen to someone describe his work on yourtube! BTW Bliss!!!!!

Regarding the INFJ door slam; we are slow to come to a decision but once we've agonized over it enough we are quick to act.

I am an older INFJ and I've always thought of INFJs as a candy that I grew up with as a kid. It was a sucker or lollipop or lolly whatever you want to call it, but it was half sour fruit flavor and half sweet fruit flavor. I loved those things. I first took the hand written Briggs Meyers test back in the late 80s when I was in my 20s. I've taken in three times all together and I am always the same INFJ. You don't change with age when it comes to this test guys! You did a great job hun! Your soft voice and sweet INFJ temperament give your videos a nice touch. You have good and accurate info and your background is simple and unobtrusive. I'm a new sub and happy I found you. Excellent job my fellow INFJ. I'm a Cancer for the Virgo person who asked ;) Peace ~~ Dharke

Excellent analysis! You did very well. As an INFJ, my feeling of listening to you made me smile.

Wow! This is amazing! i am a complete INFJ and it feels so great to relate to everything that you have spoken about. I have also realized my dark side is something i need to work on which i mainly mistake for being petty. Thank you!

This was really interesting! Also you have a lovely speaking voice :)

Hi there. I love the self-reflective manner in which you have approached our personality type. And yes, everything you've shared truly resonates with me - an INFJ myself. Just a little elaboration on why we slam the door into certain individual's faces. Oft times, this happens - for me at least - when we've tolerated more than we could bear of that person. Truthfully, i think the explosion and consequent spewing of lava (which is still putting things rather mildly) would also have come with a measure of stress in some form or other. It usually takes quite a bit (read: a long time and with much tolerance) for us to get to boiling point. Once this happens, there is no bits of anything to salvage. Everything would have disintegrated into absolute nothingness. Not that we care the slightest (by then). On a platinum platter encrusted with diamonds, rubies and sapphires, we had given them our trust, friendship - which we put a high premium on because, when we care for you, we REALLY REALLY REALLY DO - and loyalty. And they betrayed this, or took it for granted many times too often, or lied - often it's something that's not right. And that's when they would - unfortunately for them - realise that we were never the doormat they took us for, due to our usually calm disposition and rather docile demeanor. When Mr Hyde reveals himself, "ugly" is an understatement of the thing that is unleashed. We are an intense creature. We are a dichotomy of sorts. We swing like the pendulum to extreme sides. Middle ground is something alien to us. That's a weakness. But at 55, i'm done with crap or shitty people. If i think you're not worth my time, get lost please. Just FO. Get out of my face. You don't deserve me, my time, my friendship. I won't beat myself too much about it, after. I've slammed more doors of late. Am i remorseful for what's happened? Well, let's just say, a singular regret for these individuals whose face i flattened; it should have happened a loooonnnnggg time ago. So much energy and effort wasted on rubbish.

It's so awesome to see other INFJs out there. Thanks for being brave and talking. about our weaknesses. I would like to hear more on your views about the so-called "INFJ/INTJ door-slam." Like you, I see a difference between walking away from an unhealthy friendship and "slamming the door on someone." The name itself implies that someone has had 'the door slammed' on them and was bitter about the whole ordeal--so many of the definitions out there seem harsh. I've read a couple decent articles that describe this mindset/situation. One of my INTJ friends reminded me that the "door slam" is rather immature. We do give these things a lot of thought and it should be the last resort. In the end though, make sure you express to the other person that they are hurting you and explain why. Hopefully other INFJs will not resort to shutting the other person out of their life, even if they end up letting them back in later on. Again, there is a difference between leaving a toxic relationship and "slamming" and locking the door on someone. Anywho, enough of that ;) I think that we (INFJs) are also prone to being very moody or impatient sometimes. This can be due to letting our emotions build up, as you said, but I think it also depends on circumstances. For example, I often find myself being more blunt and decisive, as well as annoyed more easily when I'm with my family (because family does that to you). I feel that I can be slightly more open with them, so it isn't all that bad. After bad behavior on my part, I do feel very guilty and will often apologize. I can also be moody or annoyed when they aren't being decisive (for example, we can't decide on a place to eat.) In the past, I used to be more quiet, but now I have become more assertive and will speak my mind more often because my turbulence has been significantly reduced. Also, thanks for the tip about dealing with emotions. I still struggle with it. It's what we have to deal with as private individuals with Fe as our auxiliary funtion. For other INFJs out there, if you can't talk to someone about your emotions or problems try writing them down, doing a vlog, or speaking out loud about them (as crazy as that sounds.) That's all I'll comment on for now. Thanks for the lovely, heartfelt video! I'm thinking of doing a few of my own one day... that whole idealization issue though ;)

@GiannaDianthee

8 жыл бұрын

+Roselover1995 Thank you so much for taking the time to comment! I agree with everything you said! Particulate about unloading our problems into family, because they're the only people (for myself) who truly understand me and have my best interests at heart. I might just film a video exploring the INFJ door slam to a greater depth. You're so kind! You should most definitely make some videos if you're interested! Follow your intuitions and do what makes you feel energised 👌✨

@Roselover1995

8 жыл бұрын

+INFJ Instinct I would love to see that video if you decide to :) I myself have never door-slammed, but I came very close to it once in my past. Anywho, thanks for the encouragement!

Wow I can relate to this alot! I've done the door slam a few times with not much emotion or remorse but I think sometimes when you get older you realise some friendships are toxic. but I also wonder what it would be like to have it done to me as I'm sure it would be quite an odd experience and maybe confusing and hurtful. great video!

Dude you have the sweetest voice I've ever heard. You'd make an awesome therapist.

I couldn't have described my dark side process better than you have done here in this video. Thank you!

amazing and I agree about a lot of what you brought up. I'm an infj. sometimes I am overwhelmed (especially as of late) how much I feel like everyone just assumes I'm no more than the giving tree so a lot of that door slamming mentality has been coming out much more bluntly then I care to admit. I feel like all I ever do these days is react in some super unhealthy version of the estp... as in I can't help but obsess about reading between the lines and watching the people I keep close- or try to. I was stalked a few years ago and unfortunately it sunk in way to deep. I appreciate your honesty and validation- so tired of feeling misunderstood and crazy.

@GiannaDianthee

7 жыл бұрын

+Lisa Kosloski Thank you for your kind words and sharing yourself so honestly. It's so good to hear that you're realising your worth and limitations, especially considering what you've gone through, & hopefully time will help you move past it and understand yourself better now that your no longer in the situation. Sending love your way! 💛

I've lived my life thinking that I was unstable. That I'm too sensitive. I feel things that are not there and I hate myself. Discovering INFJ has given me hope and an insight or more like a manual of myself. Everything you've said has struck me to my core. You explained my life so beautifully and for that I'm forever greatful. Thank you

@GiannaDianthee

6 жыл бұрын

+rottenegg mirage 💖💖💖

Very good. I find that The Enneagram Type 4 correlates very well with being an INFJ. What I love about The Enneagram (an ancient personality style system of 9 different types) is that it 1). shows your particular style in 3 states...unhealthy, average and healthy 2). It also teaches you about how other types interact with your type when they are unhealthy, average and healthy. I've just recently discovered The Enneagram and can see that there are great depths to it, depending on how deep a person would like to delve. You might appreciate looking into it. 3). It teaches you about other people's motivations,and world views,which can be very helpful in understanding others,as well as, learning to lighten about other people's perspectives. Anyway, needles to say there are tons of youtube videos on it, if you are at all interested. Thank you again for your thoughtful insights about our darker side. The darker side isn't as scary to face,as we might have thought,is it? In fact, it's comforting to face into it together,isn't it? :)

I relate! a lot! thanks for synthesizing these ideas. beautifully done.

I am finally proud to know after all these years that I am not alone and there are more INFJ people out there. I just learned about INFJ tonight and I am glad to know we have a community and a network out there for one and other. Just hearing everything tonight helped me find something I have been looking for that the universe helped me see and find.

Thanks for this video! As an INFJ, I have often struggled with bottling up my negative emotions, sometimes almost denying them or feeling as though my own struggles are not valid since others are going through worse situations. I think that learning about MBTI and hearing from other INFJs has helped me acknowledge some of these weaknesses, and I've really started to examine myself.

@GiannaDianthee

8 жыл бұрын

+Tara Dickinson I'm so glad to hear that MBTI has helped you in that way! I've definitely struggled with the same! Never see your emotions and experiences as less than! You are just as worthy of the care and consideration you give to others! I wish you all the best! x

@bethgitlin7871

6 жыл бұрын

Tara Dickinson hey don't worry ive always been the same way I'm kinda the anchor in my inner circle the one who's kept the peace and been the mediator between my friends and because of that and all the tension in my group sometimes I have to set all my feelings aside and be mediator so what may start out as a small discussion doesn't turn into a full fledged argument and this seems to happen a lot and I know its not healthy but I feel an obligation to keep the peace within my inner circle and yeah your not alone in this I'm going through what you are

@yashd2575

5 жыл бұрын

May I please know what MBTI is, and how can it help a INFJ.

thats a very positive video for me, im still learning about INFJ and i thank you for your time and effort ......oh lord what an INFJ thing to say !!!!!!! x

I'm an INFJ and I relate so much to the toxic behiavour with certain friends you talked at the end... It is something I have been struggling with for my entire life. I have the tendency to take care of others and feel like their problems and their emotions are mine as well, and therefore my responsibility. This attitude eventually leads to a one-sided relation, in which we become sort of a "therapist" for the other, but we don't allow ourselves to share much about us with them in return; and by absorbing all the negative emotions of the other (which they feel free to express to us because we made them feel comfortable about it in the first place) we eventually can't take it anymore, and might even blame the other, hypocritically, for being too much. We forget about ourselves and our feelings, bottling them up in order to focus on others, that we eventually explode. I experienced this for the first time when I was 14 only. I have learnt to not fall into this pattern anymore, or at least I am trying. You were spot on , thanks for sharing this! (I apologize for any mistake, I'm not a native English speaker) By the way I think you are so beautiful, you have such delicate and elegant features

I'm an Australian older man , it would of been handy to know this 35 years ago , I was always confused about why people can not see or look for the deeper meaning in life, I always had low self esteem, but 10 years ago I went to rehab for 7 months using cognitive behavioral therapy , best thing I every did. Thank you for sharing your experiences, I very much can relate to what your saying , I did more counseling at rehab than the staff did , just the emotional sponges we are. The colour was fine by the way, as close to perfect as you could get and I am being honest , honesty is my core now but only tempered with good judgement and compassion, I think others may catch on . I feel all humans react to love and compassion instinctively, they just need to be shown how it's done sometimes.

My goodness you're uniquely beautiful ahahaha. Great video also, loved hearing the flip side to the common perception in addition to the straight up honesty and insight, very nice :) ps I am in love with your voice lol, so pure sounding 😊

Thank you so much for this 💓 as a fellow INFJ I relate to everything you have said!

@GiannaDianthee

7 жыл бұрын

+Grace Jackson That's so wonderful for me to hear! Thank you for watching lovely! 💫

INFJ doorslam.. great concept ahah, scary too, but so true. great video !

This is a terrific video. I definitely can relate. I can relate to the wall mandala too. I've got one up as well. The INFJ doorslam...I just found out I'm an INFJ when I took a validated test this past July. Anyhow, I had no idea this was a trait for misfits like me. When I'm fed up being misunderstood or forgiving people for their nonsense and superficiality I just stop communicating with them. They're essentially "dead" to me. Though as I grow older, I'm starting to warn people indirectly of their last chance before I shut that door.

All you say is truth to me. I think the darkest I became was after going through so much with others and I became a serious cynic. No hope, because I didn't understand the world or myself as an INFJ. I realized finally (with the help of Scott Morgan) that I couldn't get anywhere if I continued to trip over myself all the time.. I think your program was very well made, you have a beautiful voice and mind. Good things to think about, Thank you for sharing. Take care....

Your video hit home for me. Thank you so much! I have experienced life just like you said, the entire video I have lived through and honed to mastery. I enjoy hearing about others who experience this. I do not meet many. I want to make myself an INFJ T-shirt. I would wear it for myself, because I don't leave home much. I will wear it to my psychiatrist appointment the next visit. :0 I like me and it is AWESOME to be an INFJ!

I could really relate to that doorslam analogy you were talking about. Whenever i felt like I was in a loop with someone and not really getting anywhere or that they weren't matching my ideals for them, I would just cut them off w/o really putting to much thought into bc i felt like they didn't deserve to be in my life or experience me any more. I guess I was ignorant to the fact that people have lives of their own and their own stuff going on. I try really hard to give people the benefit of the doubt and put myself in their shoes but sometimes it sucks bc I feel like I'm just not important to them.

@ElizRued

7 жыл бұрын

Oreo Johnson Im dealing with finding a balance between excusing them because they are "busy" or have their own lives and the thought that if if I was important or, at least, they cared enough about me theyd contact me with a simple, "hope youre doing well" text letting me know they think of me. BUT, at the same time, everybody has a life and responsibilities, so unless they're something significant going on, I don't see how it could be an excuse. What do u think?

Thank you for sharing your perspective,! I found it very helpful.

I'm an INFJ and have doorslammed people, jobs and other situations that I decided were unhealthy. I did bottle my feelings, and they continued to build until one day, enough was enough, and I "washed my hands of it". It is a noticeable pattern, and before I realized it was part of my personality, I wondered if something was wrong with me. I'm trying to learn to voice my feelings more before things escalate to that point again. I have, like you said, done that with very little emotion, almost like it was the only answer, in a "matter-of-fact" manner. Perhaps it's due to the Fe function, and not really focusing on my own feelings, because that's hard. Thank-you for sharing. I appreciate hearing thoughts from someone that understands and have had similar experiences.

I love you. =) I understood everything you said and it was nice to hear someone talking about such things. Keep yourself up, lady. 1

OMG!! You're so good! And you're doing a good job!!

@midnightrose8457

8 жыл бұрын

Also, do you have any ISTJ friend? I would like you to ask if you can make a video of "INFJ-ISTJ Interaction"?

@elfenkinderundschattenwesen

7 жыл бұрын

I am an INFJ with an ISTJ friend :) I have to admit our friendship is quite complicated sometimes as she's a sensing-thinking type and I am an intuitive-feeler type. I feel as if the two letters in the middle are actually the ones that matter the most - introverts can easily be friends with extroverts and judgers can easily be friends with perceivers, whereas sensors and intuitives as well as thinkers and feelers can have some struggles (but I'm not saying a great friendship isn't possible between those, I actually have really good xNTx friends as well as xSFx). Especially S to N. I often feel quite misunderstood by her and often she is too cold, rational, analytical and radical for me, whereas I am too sensitive, altruistic, idealistic and emotional for her. As far as I know, ISTJ has the reverse cognitive functions which also leads to differences and struggles in communication. Also, INFJ's and ISTJ's have a very different way of showing love and support. Nevertheless, ISTJ's are also very loyal and true friends who will always try to provide support. Furthermore, my ISTJ friend has actually a quite well developed intuition, so I can also have deep theoretical talks with her sometimes which I usually miss in my sensor friends. I hope this helped :) Why are you interested? Are you an ISTJ or do you have an ISTJ friend?

This is really interesting. I'm an ENFP and I can totally relate to a lot of what you said. Maybe it's an NF thing.

Too invested in relationships involving people with hardships. Brilliantly spoken. Thank you, subscribing now.

@GiannaDianthee

6 жыл бұрын

+Cho Walk Thank you! ✨

Very accurate, 👍 not bad at all 😀keep up the good work we often need someone like you to speek out what we feel , you helped us put our thoughts 💭 into words..

First of all, this is my first time watching one of your videos, and I must say it was a delightful experience. Secondly, I will agree that our all-or-nothing attitude usually results in a whole lot more nothing then it does all.

You are a true blood INFJ I can feel this about you. Love to talk to you in person sometime. Thank for being so sincere.

Well spoken, as an INFJ one method that’s I’ve found to help me overcome public speaking is writing a draft and revising it. Although rare, it might be beneficial to have another infj by your side helping you write or at least revise. I’m lucky enough to have another infj help me revise.

I love Petite Biscuit! Great info. Im also an INFJ.

Fantastic video and I can so relate. Also you are so pretty! :)

@GiannaDianthee

8 жыл бұрын

+Sasu123456789x1 Aw I'm so glad! You're sweet, thank you! ☺️ x

Excellent video. You are stunningly looking in a beautiful room. I'm an INFJ as well and I, too leave a deceitful person in an instant without regrets nor looking back. Happens in person and most of the time on the Internet of course because here we meet people more frequently and we meet incognito and highly deceitful personalities who want to take but never give. I always greet and meet each person equally much and welcome everybody. I educate people on making the world a better place. But quite quickly I see the whole picture about a person and when I see them deceiving me and trying to trick me I'm out right away. I do feel sorry for the majority of humans and I understand that they don't know better. I talked about that today in my video. It's the same as if I would get mad at the ocean waves for washing my sunglasses away. Obviously the ocean waves don't know better and they do what they know best to do. Same with stagnator soul humans the ones who are here for the first time or at the very beginning stage of soul development. They don't know better. They see reality and think that it is the truth. They see things from the Ego perspective and can not understand that it is illusion and that the only truth is compassion.

@_thechosen

6 жыл бұрын

So that's why INFJs are old souls? Strange because old soul assumes wisdom and knowledge which I as an adult INFJ think I lack. I sometimes do stupid things, don't think things over, act like a child and I noticed that there is no logic behind some of my actions.

from an infj to an infj, you're the cutest infj🥺💗💗!!!!!

@GiannaDianthee

3 жыл бұрын

You’re the sweetest 🥰

I've recently took the personality test and got INFJ. What an eye opening experience, realizing why I am the way I am. It BAFFLES me how many others are out there with the same exact issues that I have within myself. I always thought I was just different from everyone around me, and I hated it, but now I LOVE it. Rather than thinking of myself as different, I think of myself as special, and it's just a really good feeling!

its interesting because you are a spitting image of my sister in terms of personality. she is all of these 'dark side' traits, soft spoken and really hard on herself through experiences with our hard-headed father. through deep conversation, she has said this herself. but she's tested as INFP.

I'm one as well, your mind is so beautiful. I already feel comfortable with you

lovely video I can relate to most of this! im stubborn and idealistic. I have never closed a relationship without any guilt though, even if I hate the person.

I just took the Meyers-Briggs test and this definitely explains me pretty well!

I'm a nice guy but after a while I have a bad temper. I used to yell alot but I have been working on it. I had a toxic friend here was obsessed with money. He hung up on me and I was like ok. I was only mad for a day now I'm like if he is toxic I'm better off without the person

@matthewmartinez4985

7 жыл бұрын

Charles Benson maybe ur friend was the problem n u continued giving him chances until u got fed up...

@akaboo69

7 жыл бұрын

probably and I'm ENFP

Thank You for your insights.

Wonderful video! Well done and explained. 😊

@GiannaDianthee

6 жыл бұрын

+Gary Edwards I appreciate it, thank you! :)

I have lived that way for the past 6 years thank you for speaking out. I was feeling very lost up until recently. And now im trying to listen and do what is good for me and others around me.I was letting too many things go for too long. I need answers and I feel the love of my life is no longer in love with me .even though she said other wise. And having too many questions go unanswered because I chose to trust over intuition way too many years wish me luck I'm on my way to healing myself thank you

I so enjoy your videos!!

@GiannaDianthee

7 жыл бұрын

+Sara Munoz Thank you Sara! ⭐️

This is absolutely me, so relatable!

you're so beautiful! I love your channel :)

@GiannaDianthee

7 жыл бұрын

+Daphne Aw, you're so sweet!

I feel that I relate to you 100% you’ve almost made me cry

@GiannaDianthee

6 жыл бұрын

+Hailes Music 💖

Thank you for this. I have found myself on the darkside too.

Great video. I can relate 100%.

Thank you for sharing!

I love your voice

I'm an INFJ and I was thinking about the INFJ Doorslam you mentioned and I have this friend in my inner circle who's always causing problems with my other friends messing with them always taking their stuff and running off with it and sometimes getting into really heated arguments with my other friends over even little things they say or do and I mean she's getting better about some of this stuff but I can see the tension in my group when she starts getting riled up sometimes it gets so bad that my best friend mason and I have to leave them and walk towards our 1st hrs so I can get away from them but yeah I see the tension building in my group when she gets riled up and there have been a few times when I've thought about not being friends with her anymore because she is the cause of a lot of problems and I originally wasn't friends with her one of my other friends who moved away last year kind of introduced me to this girl and after my other friend left I kinda let her still hang with us cause she didn't really have a lot of friends so this was more as a favor to my other friend than I'd become good friends with the girl anyway there have been times when I've considered not being her friend anymore but I never acted on that because I dodnt know how she would react she has very sensitive emotions she can be happy one second then the next second she's mad or upset about something so yeah if anyone has any advice for me on how I should handle this situation I would be grateful cause I don't wanna be the cause of more rifts in my inner circle I love all my friends to a fault and is hate to lose any of them because of one person

Dude! I was waiting for that. The doorslam/cutoff is so real. My mom doesnt understand why I "get rid" of people but its like a quality over quantity type deal. Once I can no longer tolerate someone they have be scrubbed away from my life. No matter hoe much I love them. Its them or me in my eyes and I'm going to triumph. It starts with a warning usually and a snide remark on my end and then SLAM! they never see it coming or hear from me ever again.

As an INFJ I can relate. Especially the moving along part with little to no feeling

Great video!

I have noticed that the more i become aware of everything going on around this world the more enraged i become so its like i have to ignore the stupidity of the world, i don’t watch tv i don’t like it unless I’m learning something. I have been changing dramatically since march 2017 as if all this stuff has come out at once and i ask myself why now, why? It feels as if the world is coming to an end or something and i have to be more vigilant in my learning process and I’m putting to much pressure on myself in turn making me feel frustrated and angry. Honestly its feels as though I’m alone and everyone is against me even though i would like to think its the exact opposite.

You are so right ,we can't help to put 110percent on people weather it's emotional or helping others but it's a one way street it's hard when people don't recipicate and for me I'm qwike to cut people out of my life especially in relationships I'm working on that thank you you have a warm spirit and truly a infj mabe someday I'll meet a woman I can bond with I think though to make it work she would need to be infj so unfortunately I'll never find that thank you wonderful hearing your thoughts

Great video. I don't want to sound like a creeper but you have a really nice, relaxing voice.

wow what a beautiful creature you are, being infj i appreciate beauty wherever i see it.

Ah, yes. The door slam. I know this all too well. In my experience that's partly stubbornness. Not to mention that it is so much easier than actually acknowledging my feelings and having a tough conversation with the other person. I'm working on it, although it's definitely against my nature.

My gosh I like your room !

@GiannaDianthee

7 жыл бұрын

+Amber Garza Thanks gal! ☺️✨

INFJ empathy is agonizing. Its simply easier to isolate....

Hah, you seem like a saint compared to me. I tend to be pretty confrontational (especially when in defence of another), and tend to see debating as an enjoyable time - at times in my life this has gotten me into trouble with others, and for a long time I relied only on what emotions were being actively communicated when moulding my behaviour to another. I've always been highly opinionated, and it took some time to develop the Fi-witherto to consider how these opinions would affect other people. I even went through a phase of actively pushing social boundaries to see what I could get away with! Then there's a narcissistic phase I went through where I projected an idealised version of myself and began to rely on others believing that projection - I developed an unhealthy relationship with positive reinforcement and my pride began to swell as a result. As for the fabled 'doorslam', I have done it twice. The first was necessary but still ended with an explanation on my part and mutual politeness (and even respect) when in the presence of one another; the second was somewhat less necessary but came to a warmer reconciliation. I would say, though, that the whole doorslam thing applies far more to INTJs than ourselves, as once they have decided to seperate themselves from someone the decision is pretty irrevocable.

Sub'ed and liked.. Great work.

I've experienced it my whole life with my mom. She has had badcompatability with all the people around her. Including my dad, me and my son. It's been very rough for both me and my mom.

The NiTi loops can get so intense. I completely understand.

I don't know which MBTI I am, but this video is relatable so much to me

Im a INFJ. I find you video correct even for me so that is remarkable everything in it goes for me too. These are my dark sides. One has to work on those I guess...