It can be dangerous to think outside of the Mormon box. I remember making my aunt scream at me bc of a question I asked. She was like THAT'S BLASPHEMOUS! Never heard her yell before. My question was "What if the ultimate act of forgiveness would be to forgive Satan for his transgressions against us?" She flipped out.

@LizaFergison

9 ай бұрын

@sheleechamberlain4226 It is sad that you were not allowed to ask questions. I was raised in the Catholic church, where questions were encouraged, especially by my father. Our lives were not controlled by the church. I even attended a private Catholic school, where the education was excellent. I go to church from time to time, but the Christmas services are the best. I feel free to go when I want to because the church doesn't keep a record of attendance. I could never be Mormon. The control it keeps on it's members would drive me to be a rebel without a cause.

@buckets5284

9 ай бұрын

When I was a tween and starting to ask questions and have a mind of my own my mother just about passed out when I asked, "if we're supposed to forgive our enemies and pray for them... shouldn't we pray for satan too?"

@babs629

9 ай бұрын

OMG!!! I asked the same thing! Didn't get yelled at, but was stared at like I had a rare infectious disease.

@babs629

9 ай бұрын

I also asked that if we need to forgive others just as HE forgives us, then why is there Hell?

@othersheep5491

9 ай бұрын

LOL. I asked if Satan was an illusion too. They went new world crazy. If you are to avoid the very appearance of evil, your compassion makes you look frightening to that empathy free lot. It’s a chilly greenhouse

Thank you Margi for acknowledging the pain of those of us who “did it anyway”. Being LDS, a mother, and a doctor caused me so much self-doubt and shame over the years. The church’s doctrines and culture around women working hurt ALL of us.

“I’m 28, I have a mortgage. I can think what I want” LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT!!!

We’re non-Mormon. My wife tried being a stay-at-home mom for our middle schooler (many moons ago). She lasted three months. It wasn’t for her. She’s been a great mom, but she needed to be in the workforce for her mental health alone.

@ETBlair

9 ай бұрын

Me too!

@teemarie5478

9 ай бұрын

I had the same exact situation but at the same exact time, I suffered so much guilt from thinking my kids would feel I wasn’t there for them like I could’ve been. I’ve never been Mormon both me and my husband were raised loosely Catholic. My husband made enough money for us to be fine but i went into a major depression after having our second daughter. I think that even though I want to be with our girls every moment I had it helped me in many ways to get out the home and have working relationships and I loved to work. My husband really had it made😂😂 I never felt pressure to do anything really but I was kind of like this lady. I’d drop the kids off with my mother, go to work for 8-9 hours, come home deal with the kids needs and wants, cut the grass, clean and cook. I’d purposely do all the house work/ yard work on work days because every time I had a day off the guilt of being at work, I over compensated and took them to do every imaginable fun thing possible. We’d call it fun days. I burnt my self out so bad but I think mentally I was at my happiest and mentally healthiest time ever. Sorry for the book I just wrote. I think the whole thing is even though no one in my family nor my husband told me anything to make me feel one way or another. I just wanted to be the perfect mother to them so bad, when I think back to my childhood we didn’t have money but we were non the wiser, my mother over compensated for our dads flaws that we had no clue about because she suffered in silence. So we had a really really good country style childhood, Playing from sun up to sun down outside with the neighborhood kids. I feel like you can’t beat raising kids in the country.

Quite possibly the best Mormon Story for me yet. As an Ex-evangelical Christian, I can relate to all of her story. Divorce, SAHM guilt, all of the cognitive dissonance,the need for confirmation, and finally at age 47-I had this same moment where I finally said out loud- “I can make my decision on what I believe or do not believe and what I think makes sense and doesn’t make sense.” And I instantly walked away from all of the it. And felt for once in my life, true peace. Thank you for sharing!

@malibudan

8 ай бұрын

I have never heard an "Evangelical" say the church made the decisions for them or were overly critical of how their congregation lived their lives other than being kind and loving with grace. I have to wonder where you are coming from, Jim Jones Guyana?

@machtnichtsseimann

4 ай бұрын

@@malibudan- Well, then I'll chime in with an: Excuse me??? Maybe you've had the most isolated of experiences, aren't bold enough to search for the truth in hearing other Evangelicals' experiences, or you don't want to believe the painful Reality that some Evangelical church communities have been toxic, controlling, and cult-like. I was spiritually abused at an Evangelical Charismatic church. So, add me to the list. I've also been in other Evangelical communities where disagreeing with the pastor brought silence, dismissal, and subtle ostracism and rejection. Ever hear of Mars Hill and their breakdown? I mean, come on, now. Open your eyes! LoL ( BTW: I haven't written off ALL Evangelicals and their churches as a result. Resist any temptation to just write me off as bitter and extreme. I've also had amazingly good, kind, compassionate experiences with Evangelicals in other communities. )

So glad to see Margi on this podcast ❤ Margi, your questions are always so mindful and compassionate. Thank you to all of you and your beautiful guest ♥️♥️♥️

@mormonstories

9 ай бұрын

Thanks for listening

@therealchristinanelson

9 ай бұрын

We love Margi!

I’m not Mormon and I always wanted to be a stay at home mom. But when I had children we needed more income so I went to work at daycare. I loved it and I did it for almost 40 years. I feel like my children had a great childhood. I took the summers off several times during their childhood. But even when I worked I got very involved with my children’s activities. I was team mom, room mom… I always had large birthday parties for my kids. I enjoyed my children and I enjoyed my job. I tried to have a busy, exciting and educational classroom. I don’t regret any of it. I think my children learned a lot about life. Today I think all three of my children have great lives and I have six grandchildren. They are all great parents and my grandkids are happy and well adjusted.

28 minutes into this podcast and I feel like I am living my 20s and 30s over again. My children were 3 and 7 when that awful talk on Mothers became the most important thing. I am in my 60s and Benson’s tenure as prophet is a blight on my life to this day.

For females in all high demand religions. Thank you!

I remember hearing Katie Couric saying that studies showed going to daycare/nursery school is good for kids and I thought because of the church teachings “the world just doesn’t know what WE know. Katie is feeling guilty and saying that her putting kids in daycare, calling it school and saying it’s better for the kids is just how she and other working moms assuage their guilt. If only they had the gospel in their lives they’d see things differently (read: correctly)” I was the one who was wrong. I was the one who didn’t pursue my interests. Honestly, I didn’t even consider my interests beyond motherhood and sewing. While sewing is fun, it is an approved interest for moms so I don’t know if it was a choice. Ya know.

@keepinitreal938

9 ай бұрын

I worked in a daycare while pregnant with my first. It solidified for me that I wanted to stay home with my kids. In general the kids of all ages got hardly any one on one time. In the 0-1 year old room we had 13 babies with 2 adults. We picked up those babies long enough to feed them and change them and put them back down. That's all the time we could give them. That's how many babies the government said we could have for 2 people. If you had private care in your home that would be different.

@eyestorm3

9 ай бұрын

@@keepinitreal938This is of course very daycare dependent, and there are a lot of layers. There are a lot of crappy places, a lot of okay places, and a lot of fabulous places. I’m a working mother who had a career for years before having my son, and then returned after three months of maternity leave. During that leave I was incredibly depressed with post-partum. Going back to work was amazing for my mental health, and I was a better and more balanced mom. Because of some moves, my son went to multiple places before hitting kindergarten, although the last daycare we were at for maybe three years and loved it, and we saw how loved he was and benefits from their activities and care. We had both in home and facility care overall, and were only disappointed in one and so we moved him. He’s a very engaged and creative kid and incredibly social. He’s wonderful. We’ve been very invested parents outside of his care and that of course is key. And because I work we’ve been able to provide experiences we wouldn’t have been able to otherwise that edify his life. So there are great places, and my son and other kids I know of who went to daycare are doing great. Studies show that it’s not the quantity of time spent with kids, it’s the quality of that time, and a good daycare can be a valuable addition depending on family circumstances. That knowledge always helped me as I moved through his younger years (because of course all of us no matter the situation experience mom guilt) and I made as much as I could outside of daycare count. There are many sides and layers to this beyond one experience, down to where people live, what supports are available, what daycares are available (I live in a major metropolitan area which I recognize is a blessing in that there are a variety of daycares available - I know that is not the case for all), mental health, what jobs people have, family goals, etc. I’ve also appreciated the other adults and mentors active in his life (my philosophy is that good mentors outside of my son’s parents are super important in the mix, that it takes a village, etc.). What it comes down to is doing what works best for our own families and weighing the knowledge and experience we have as we do so. Everyone will have different decisions based on a variety of factors. I think it’s important to acknowledge that multiple things can be true at once and nothing is one size fits all. And that there are in fact excellent daycares.

@keepinitreal938

9 ай бұрын

​@@eyestorm3I appreciate your thoughtful reply. I was not trying to make you feel like you were less than for using daycare. My personal experience with working in a kindercare (daycare) was that the kids got yelled at a lot and babies didn't get held, which I think is important for their health and development. So, yes, I agree that not all daycares would be the same. My daughter nannied for a few years in the child's home and I think she was a great nanny and it was a good experience for the family. I think with the daycare I worked for most of those kids would have been better off at home with a mom or dad who was paying attention to them even if less money was coming in. I'm glad you feel that most of your experiences were good with daycare though because obviously they are not all equal👍. For me, having that experience with that daycare when I was pregnant just made it so I would rather go without than put my child in one like that.

@kathrynclass2915

9 ай бұрын

@taramcgavan7654 it was a slow-ish deconstruction of the religious belief that caused me to feel that way, but yes! I escaped. My husband left the religion first which caused me to be extra committed to the belief because it seemed to be all up to me to get our family to be eternally together. But eventually, I left the beliefs behind too. And my marriage had to go through a major deconstruction & reconstruction as well. We call it our marriage 2.0. And that happy family that I was so worried about losing… our family has gained it by leaving the church. We are closer and happier than ever. Yes there’s tough stuff but it turns out we have better skills now to deal with things… and we deal them rather than ignore them. After so many years of it know my what I want, I’m still trying to figure it out but I’m doing that. Im trying new things.

So impressed by anyone who can overcome Mormon brainwashing and be emotionally healthy afterward

This was an interesting interview. The irony of her realizing that she no longer believes while she was praying is not lost on me. It sounds like a 404 error.

@jpal1080

9 ай бұрын

I definitely took it as the Holy Spirit was confirming this deep within her soul.

@megandickson4102

9 ай бұрын

Even if you're no longer a believer, prayer can just be a form of meditation. She was in tune with her inner voice that came through loud and clear through meditation.

I really loved this episode! Thanks to all.❤️. One thing I’ve realised is that “doubt your doubts” also means “doubt yourself”.

@marlenemeyer9841

9 ай бұрын

Such a dangerous thought stopping technique!

@Mon-Alisa

9 ай бұрын

Wow, such a good point!

@keepinitreal938

9 ай бұрын

So true

@osajohnson1957

9 ай бұрын

It's a first line tactic for mind control. TFG said, " Don't trust what you hear, trust what I tell you." Kinda the same thing.

@aBrewster29

9 ай бұрын

This might be my preferential bias for Uchtdorf creeping in, but I’ve always interpreted “doubt your doubts” as applying the same standards of healthy skepticism to opposing truth claims. That said, I do see it’s still problematic in being unilateral and in coming through an environment where inconvenient facts have been denounced under false premises.

I relate to your story in so many ways. I stayed in a not great marriage because I was so worried about ending a temple marriage. I also was called out by my visiting teacher (about 30 years ago) for being a working mom. I felt I had to defend myself and say it was not financially possible for me to stay home. She told me if I really wanted to be a SAHM we’d figure out a way! Yikes!

@Foghorn-tr1je

5 ай бұрын

I am sorry you had a visit teacher that did not respect your boundaries. That is one of things that drove me crazy about the church. That people felt they had a right to know about my private life and choices and way in unsolicited.

Great episode and love it when Margi is co-hosting. She adds so much to the program.

No wonder my Mormon boss told me to stop complaining and every time I speak my truth; she basically puts me down and to shut up. Wow light bulb moment lol ❤ I had to resign last week! I decided I can’t work for Mormons. No judgement just compassion ❤

@sacagawea9743

9 ай бұрын

I’m a out gay man raised Mormon in California, my best boss I’ve ever had was a Mormon. Mormon or not, you do need to be selective of who you decide to work for. Cause there’s a lot of crazy humans period.

@777LadyVenus

9 ай бұрын

@@sacagawea9743, of course we need to be selective who we work for. I live in Utah , so 9 times out of 10 it’s a Mormon. They are very difficult to work for and it’s even worse when they are your neighbors. No judgement just compassion

John I appreciate that you took a back seat and let Margi and Amy lead the interview. It was wonderful to hear two incredible women discuss their experiences and was very validating for me, even though I left the church when I was 19.

What a treat to listen to such a brilliant and beautiful person as Amy! I’m feeling every word you are saying, Amy. And I love hearing you tell such touching stories about your wonderful mother!

The last 5-7 minutes when talking about the difference in understanding of pain being harmful/damaging and/or lead to growth is such a powerful truth. As someone that lives with several chronic medical issues and that include chronic pain, I'd 100% say I've experienced the most spiritual, emotional, mental, and understanding of love, joy, and empathy growth in the 20+ years of chronic medical issues v the 40+ years prior to the beginning of the medical issues. Just like Amy, I wouldn't trade any experience that happened because of the wonderful children that now includes grandchildren. I also have accepted that I wouldn't change the medical issues necessary for my personal growth in this journey of life. I left religion and yet not my belief in a higher power and continue to grow in the belief in the power of love.

1:50:47 Starting here and for the next five minutes is so powerful. Mormonism aside, getting to a place where a person can realize "I don't have to keep making this true anymore" is really hard and brave.

I have watched many of your podcasts and I am always so impressed with how intelligent, self aware and articulate your guests are.

I experienced so many of the same things growing up Mormon. Thank you for having the courage to share your story.

As a woman in her mid forties, it is so great to see that the rhetoric about women’s roles is changing for the better, but it is also so frustrating knowing that I was subjected to such damaging and controlling rhetoric that caused me to make very different life choices than I otherwise would have made.

Excellent episode. Loved what Amy said about let's just give everyone the freedom to be who they are. She was spot on in so many observations. Looking forward to part two.

After Ezra Taft Benson gave that talk, I heard that a large number of women who worked for the church in the church offices thought they should quit their jobs. Apparently, this caused something of a crisis as the church couldn't run the organization without all these women. Their resignations were not accepted. They were told that it wasn't necessary for them all to quit and go home. No idea what rationale was given for them not needing to follow the prophet.

@tamaraelsberry6630

9 ай бұрын

Lol! That's funny.. Again, people who are not following their inner voice.

As a fellow accountant I resonate with Amy’s audit approach in seeking unbiased sources and verifying critical fact claims against church sources. That’s been my same effort. I’ve also discussed these findings with local leaders, who are always sympathetic and validating, but they don’t have answers and resist referring the issues up the chain. The divide between what the Church preaches and what it practices, and it’s refusal to look in the mirror has been so difficult.

As a kindergarten teacher with many students with stay at home parents, I will take any kid who had been to daycare any day of the week. They understand what’s happening and have independence.

I married young and was already living in the ashes and so conflicted by my religion that condemned divorce. In desperation i knelt down and just prayed for help with my marriage. I had this profoundly strong voice in my mind that said "if you dtay married to this man, you can never do God's will. If you can't do God's will, you can never be happy." It took me a year to act on it. I'm so grateful i still had an inner voice.

I love and so appreciate you all for this. Amy is helping me realize so many things about myself. THANKYOU!

Never Mormon who loves all the stories. I taught school the year I was pregnant with my first daughter and stayed home for a year. I found quickly that I sucked at it and couldn’t wait to get back to work. When my second daughter was born, there was no question that I would return to work. My sisters stayed at home and loved it. We are all wired differently and need to stop society/religion from creating the expectations and narrative that don’t fit.

I already made a comment lol, I want Amy to know the impact she gave me by sharing her experiences. I heard Amy talk about personality traits and conditioning in a new way and it resonated so deeply within my inner self and I am so grateful that you brought my consciousness to a more open mind. Thank you ♥️😇

Always listen to that peaceful inner voice. It's what I now call the Holy Spirit. I had similar experiences where I didn't follow the Spirit and it always worked out exactly like the spirit said. Men usually try to offer well intentioned advice all the time. But I've learned the hard way that listening to the inner voice/ Holy Spirit is WAY better than following some man or even my own logic.

@aBrewster29

9 ай бұрын

It is possibly the most critical problem in the Church today that some leaders are beginning to actively gaslight the members, saying things like “if the devil can appear as an angel of light he can certainly fool you.” Such appeals require a naive and superstitious mind, but most kids today are informed and bright. Getting kids to subordinate their conscience won’t work on most, and will be very dangerous for those who do.

@tamaraelsberry6630

9 ай бұрын

Liz, I love your comment ❤️. I began following my inner voice back in college, wth many trial and error fails as I was learning how to recognize it. Which, as you said, it was never wrong. If only people would learn this one important lesson. Learning to follow the promptings of the spirit would help so many people avoid the confusion and cognitive dissonance that occurs by believing that you have to follow anything that a church leader says. They are fallable, they mean well, but have their own interpretations of how life should be. And it's most likely not the exact plan HF has for you I have never been the cookie cutter mormon, and never will be. By following holy spirit I have gone down many unexpected paths that led me to healing, spiritual growth and knowledge that I wouldnt trade for anything. It's been said from the pulpit many times.. "the church can only teach the milk, not the meat, to its members". So so TRUE. It's only through Holy Spirit that you learn the "meat", and /or what God has planned specifically for you in your life.

The daycare conversation was helpful for me, a never mormon mom of a 1 year old. Thanks for sharing such a personal story.

I love this interview and how it is framed. Amy's experience mirrors my own. You don't know until you focus your intention on knowing. The accumulation of everything I learned and experienced was way to obvious to ignore. As soon as I could give it attention and intention to find a way to make it all fit, the cognitive dissonance was overwhelming. When I could finally admit the church couldn't be true, the emotions of freedom was like a huge tsunami. I was in for 60 years then suddenly I was no longer Mormon. They don't own me or my thoughts.

Ex Mo here. Heavenly Father “blessed” me to be very well endowed up top. I was made to feel ashamed of them and try to hide them because of the comments I would get, from advisors and occasionally from boys. I graduated from BYU forty years ago. I’m only just getting comfortable with my body.

@lisanunlist9510

9 ай бұрын

I’m so sorry for that slimy feeling that went up your spine. How dare anyone put creepy, demeaning eyes on you!

@lisapassarella4603

9 ай бұрын

What?? People should very much be “blessed” with the body that God gave us, Mormon or not. Being well endowed shouldn’t be a big deal though. I’m happy that you’re an ex Mo though and I hope you got away from the LDS/polygamy problems and torture that you must have experienced dealing with body shaming and sexual glances or experiences that you must have went through

I’m not an expert, but my understanding is that the Greeks understood that their gods were archetypes. They understood that it was not meant to be taken literally. They used stories to help them progress psychologically. Thomas Moore in A Religion of One’s Own, says that we need religion, but that it was never meant to be taken literally. It’s a great book, by the way, to help a person, leaving a religion to create a spiritual practice that works for that individual. It helped me a lot. 😉

@harlanlang6556

9 ай бұрын

I think you're right. Socrates and Plato were far to logical and erudite to have literally believed in the gods. Probably there were the "simple" Greeks who did believe literally. Maybe this can be said about Christianity and every other religion. I've talked with educated Hindus who believe in one God and consider the many gods of India as demonstrating the many qualities of the one Creator.

@maggiesmakeuptv

9 ай бұрын

Like modern people, Ancient Greeks held a variety of theological beliefs. Most were literal polytheists, some not.

100% feel this podcast. I remember as a teen, I never wanted to get married and have kids… By my 20’s, I was fully indoctrinated. I love my husband and my kids, and wouldn’t change things for the world. I just feel it wasn’t a conscious choice - I was conditioned to believe it would bring me happiness. It has brought me happiness, but it’s also caused me an enormous amount of emotional and mental distress, it’s almost cost me my life on multiple occasions - as an undiagnosed Autistic female trying to fit the neurotypical mormon mould, it nearly broke me so many times.

@tamaraelsberry6630

9 ай бұрын

Can you let go of that belief that you have to fit a mold? I have never felt that I fit the "mormon mold", and as I grew closer to HF after my divorce the awareness came that he loves me just for who I am. That knowledge helped me release the shame and unworthiness I felt in the first half of my life. In fact God led me on a journey of how to heal from those feelings. He wants the same for you. HE LOVES YOU JUST HOW YOU ARE!

@rebeccacall7348

9 ай бұрын

​@@tamaraelsberry6630Such an invalidating statement to say you shouldn't feel that way because I've never experienced it, but pretty typical of TBMs. 🙄

@tamaraelsberry6630

9 ай бұрын

@@rebeccacall7348 sadly, you missed the whole point of my comment.

@rebeccacall7348

9 ай бұрын

I guess I did. My apologies. My temper got flared up because I heard such a statement, among other statements, that my TBM community used to invalidate and gaslight me during my youth.

Being newly retired as well as my spouse, we dont have the same plans due to inflation. We can do some travel, but not what we imagined. That was always our plan. Now that the unknown is here it can be a bit overwhelming. I can see the attraction of the church and all the answers.

@susanhaney3437

9 ай бұрын

The "answers" might not be what you imagine they would be either.

Margi's face when talking about the cross body bags...😂

We were told in Sunday school class when I was young that Joseph Smith was not a polygamist! He definitely had quite a few wives.

Very well done interview with some deep and intelligent insights. Non mormon here, but such transferable struggles across the board. Can’t wait for part 2!

I was well into my 40s when i realized i had been living with fear of "being in trouble." Having the realization that i was actually an adult who could make my own decisions was almost shocking because of my own relationship dynamics. Your story is so validating and im so thankful for your story ❤

This has been one of my most favorite episodes.

How fantastic that you had such really wise parents in midst of this phenomenological mess. 💕💕. If I had had a "slip" by even looking at an alcoholic beverage, I would have been summarily blasted into outer darkness. I gasped with grief at hearing you tell that brief vignet. I loved my poor scrupulosity-afflicted mother, but that would have been her reaction to me. The tho't makes my heart stop. She lingered in a stuporous agony, clutching at the shredding hem of life, terrified of passing on. Her Bible was in tatters from her clutching it day & night. RELIGION IS TERRORISM. Priestcraft its greedy agents. And they will glut THEIR pounds of FLESH while others (mostly women) die "GUILTY."

Regarding conformity, I really struggle with employment here in Utah because so many employers have the same expectations in the workplace, that women should not question authority, right or wrong.

This episode resonates so much with me! My experience is similar to hers in so many ways. Thank your for your honesty, authenticity, and vulnerability. Please know you are not alone in your experience.

Can't wait for part 2

It’s interesting how relatable some of this story is even though I have never been a Mormon nor did I know much about the beliefs. Other religions and cultures do this kind of manipulation on the followers too which makes people second guess themselves and fill them with guilt and shame.

We need to teach mothers we set a great example when working and showing strenth. I was a single mother in 1989. My son is a well adjusted father today who respects his wife and and both children. These high demand religions and cults have ruined way too many women. Raise well adjusted children who dont believe in fictitious religious leaders.

I am still trying to find my way. I havent been to a church service for maybe 8 years. Member for 20. I felt overwhelmed by my callings then sad when I left. I'm still feeling confused about the cult persona. I need therapy. ❤

So interesting!

Thank you for sharing your story

I didn't expect so many points that hit hard. She thought very deep, when trying to stay shallow in the bubble.

I have had that Greek mythology/ modern religion thought sooo many times. It’s all about where you land in history

Stories like these where members do everything right in following the script, and things don’t work out until the member exercises personal authority highlight how the brethren often speak recklessly. If they admit to seeing through a glass darkly, why do they persist in making overly specific dogmatic statements about what members should and shouldn’t do? The church could be amazing if it would adopt some institutional humility.

This was fantastic and very helpful.

I recently found this channel. I'm so happy to hear these stories and that there is support for those who leave the church. I'm 64 years old, born and raised in the church with pioneer heritage. I left the church 25 years ago for several reasons. I remember being alone, shame and there wasn't any support. Having to navigate that was difficult. It makes me so happy to see that there is support out there.

Just to clarify a point Amy made - there are people currently who treat Greek Mythology as religion. “Hellenismos is the religious path of the ancient Greek, faithfully reconstructed for Pagans in the modern world.”

I really, really enjoy Margi as a co-interviewer/active listener in these stories. John and Margi - you are an impactful team. Adore you both separately too but when it’s both of you -my favorite listening.

This was so great. Thanks Amy for sharing your life story.

@mormonstories

9 ай бұрын

Glad you enjoyed it!

Just this title alone brought back so many repressed memories and experiences when I was a member. I tried so hard to be a righteous woman in the church. I constantly ignored my inner-voice. My drive and motivation was to make those around me happy. I remember sitting in the temple when the narrator "offered" the invitation to leave....I seriously considered getting up and walking out but I didn't because it was October 2020 and everyone I invited made special plans to be there with me. So, I ignored my inner voice and stayed put. Thank you for continuing to share these stories with your audience. Unrelated: do you and Margi have your own "Mormon Story" episode? I know you've shared bits and pieces, but I'd love to watch an episode about you and Margi! Keep up the magnificent work! ~Sara

Thank you for sharing this message. I'm not Mormon but befriended a group of Mormon women and they need to hear this!!

After I got divorced, from a cheating husband, I was ticked that I didn't get a new, new name. Why did my covenant breaking ex get to know this sacred name that both he and my possible new spouse get to know, especially since he was excommunicated from the church. Crazy

Loved this interview. Amazing how my own experience maps onto hers. Thank you for speaking up.

You know after seeing Margi kinda take control of the interviews the last few episodes I wouldn't be surprised if she were to take over as a host while John is away on business or something because I definitely see her very committed to these type of stories

"I wouldn't do this without" I read this two ways 🤣

I appreciated this so much as a working mom!

Loved this video. Margie is awesome.

@bodytrainer1crane730

9 ай бұрын

Yeah and when she said, "Oh dear." 😂😂😂😂

I love Amy's story. Great episode!

This was so good! Thank you for your honesty and openness!!

I come from the Era where we had to do the "penalties of death" in the temple. Looking back, I realize how emotionally abusive this was.

Never knew much about the Mormon cult until all of these recent cases over the past few years kept surfacing in the news. Really enjoyed this interview!

15:45 this conformity is also known as Pluralistic Ignorance. You Are Not So Smart podcast did an incredible episode on it.

When I was in the MTC in Provo, the mission president’s wife told us that too. That we shouldn’t wear side bags because it accentuates our breast. When I got to Italy, I wore them all the time.

I know you didn't see accounting as your passion, but I think accounting or business in general is a great degree to get because then you have the skills to manage any business when you do find your passion.

49:24 the church is REALLY out here telling people to just fkn Send It! Don’t bother getting to know the person you’re supposed to spend all of eternity with….just SEND. IT! I learn sooooo much about this religion with every episode!

I realize listening to this, I think I did listen to my inner voice as a woman. I left when my daughter was just going into YW and I was so just put off by the "Male Driven" "Men have all the power" church. I did not know anything about truth claims, history issues, polygamy, Joseph Smith, Free Masons or really anything I just didnt want her there! I ended up being excommunicated and I suffered for years thinking I just neeed to get back to it. I actually still defended, called myself Mormon, had a HUGE testimony of ETERNAL FAMILIES. I wanted my kids forever!! I finally went down the rabbit hole years later...(im now 60+). Im so happy to finally realize the real truth. Im so much happier but that doesnt mean i didnt shoulder so so much guilt!!! For years!! So i have anger now and surrounded by TBM family who are in different stages of life. I just cant bring myself to break it to them. My brother actually said to me..."Don't tell me, I don't want to know". Im so happy i listened to my inner voice even with no research or proof. Now im gonna have to break it down for my baby boy!!

BYU is a marriage funnel. It is also a marriage mixmaster (East Coast people meeting West Coast people meeting Mid-West people...).

@tori.rory.

2 ай бұрын

Me over here, and east coast Mormon who married a west coast Mormon and we are now getting divorced 🫠😮‍💨

When I attended byui I had a similar experience. It was my freshman year and I was a computer science major and this guy who was also a computer science major as well said saw us women together with the same degree and yelled out loud how women do not have the right mindset and the same mind as men so therefore we shouldn’t be this major. No one said anything and I felt totally shocked. As I continued my degree come to find out that professors were so about having women in the college that they did a lot to make sure there was inclusion for women that if I would have told them they would have talked to him because they were about zero tolerance for that kind of speech

I feel like I am very similar to Amy in our attitudes and dispositions. I was lucky enough to be raised outside of a high control religion but even with simple "cultural" Christianity, I had a lot of the same questions and hangups. I remember wondering the same things when I was learning about mythology from other cultures and wondering why this god was any different from Thor or Osiris, or Zeus.

I always wondered as well, if I hadn't married who I did, I wouldn't have had the children that I had. However, we are also taught we choose our parents before coming to earth. So why don't we think if I married someone else the spirits that chose us as parents before coming to earth would have been given to us with whoever we married.

Good afternoon from northern Utah.

12 minutes in, reminding me of my own mom 😊

I love the episodes with Marghi and Jon interviewing

I am a doctor and a mom. Hearing you tell that story of how you were told you couldn't be both just made me so sad. You live in modern day America, not some third world country... That to me ist emotional blackmail and psychologic abuse

@roxben1

9 ай бұрын

Welcome to Mormonism.

something else about how kids are affected by working moms vs. stay at home moms - there could be a kid who's mom works and he doesn't even notice it or think anything of it and he grows up to be a completely functional individual, and another kid who is in the exact same situation except he hears all of this conversation from adults about how women need to stay at home and they are bad moms if they have jobs while raising their kids. and this child would internalize that as "my mom doesn't really love me because if she did she would stay at home with me." and THAT would cause problems for their development if they sincerely believe their mom doesn't love them as much as their friends' moms who stay at home.

Curiosity… with Mormon girls being highly influenced to be a stay at home mom, why is BYU highly promoted? Is it more social than education?

@germans1

9 ай бұрын

Just so they can meet returned missionaries and have more chance to then get married

i struggle to understand how are people who are logical, are able to analyze things, are able to understand the cause and effect of things and see the big picture (ie: to get a cpa you need to have a lot of skills like vulnerability, self reflection, logic, time management) not apply this critical thinking to religion. i wonder what i'm misunderstanding.

There's no such thing as "healthy" righteousness -- all of it is OCD.

@mormonstoriespodcast, what is deathos (sp?) in the temple? I am a presbyterian pastor and I just want to understand.

It's so heartbreaking to hear how women are manipulated to believe the only way to be a good mom is to stay home. It's just another layer of misogyny in an already very misogynistic system. I have no problem with the people who choose to stay home (as in, they were given a meaningful opportunity to consider their options and made the choice), but Amy clearly did not feel she had a real choice.

I'm a never mormon. I was raised in daycare. My mom had her own business. I'm proud of her for that, but I feel like I suffered throughout my life not having a parent available to me.

I am sorry standing up for what Amy knew to be true is called defiance.

From what I googled, having a stay-at-home mom has benefits for children. Can anyone direct me to solid research on the topic? For example, homeschooled kids tend to do better academically. I'm typically anti-tradition; for example, I think having two part-time working parents would be better than a full-time-career father and at-home mother.

@kpl-CA

9 ай бұрын

*Privilege* makes the difference in outcomes. Every time. It is not the presence of an enslaved domestic servant who is forced into financial dependency, stripped of agency, silenced, and enduring abuse and exploitation that gives children a (supposed) sparkling, "perfect" future. Spousal abuse is UTTERLY COMMON in religious households. Funny how that appalling stat is always ignored. Conservative estimates are 1/3 to 1/2 of all religious households are regularly abusive, and either excuse or wallow in that abuse. Having a "stay at home mommy" is utterly useless if you are in an abusive home, or starving, or homeless, or without medical care, or neglected, or enduring the whims of a rigid, intolerant controlling parent. *Women* deserve to have fully realized, healthy lives themselves, not just to be USED, EXPLOITED, ABUSED and SILENCED.

@anarchisttutor7423

9 ай бұрын

@@kpl-CA You shoehorned a sermon into this thread. It's clear from my post that I'm talking about a consensual, respectful division of labor.

@elilass8410

9 ай бұрын

I've seen the contrary-homeschooled kids, especially in states where standards of learning are barely enforced, tend to be far less educated and struggle with entering working life or college

That’s so disturbing to hear a woman admit that she KNEW something was wrong or a lie but she used all of her energy to make it all ok. I’m glad she’s past that.

I am not a mormon but this is not such an unusual scenario but for my age group (75) but not for my children (horrendous expectations to do everything) but now great for granddaughters who are getting the balance right. So well worth the fight for our future generations, all practicing Christians by the way

Well done Amy, for digging into the church off its lie’s .I did the same.

Every church is weird, Mormonism isn’t really any different. There’s skeletons in all their closets. But it’s interesting to hear these stories 😇

23:37

UCSD is a commuter school