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If Marriage Is a Contract, There Should Be a Better Warranty - Wanda Sykes

Wanda Sykes rails against marriage vows and wonders if her friends with kids are lying about how happy they are.
About Comedy Central Presents:
These half-hour specials showcased some of the best up-and-coming comedians of the moment. The show was a pivotal stepping stone for many of today's stand-up stars, including Dave Chappelle, Patton Oswalt, Amy Schumer, Jim Gaffigan, Kevin Hart, Zach Galifianakis, Dane Cook, Bill Burr, Wanda Sykes and Maria Bamford.
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Пікірлер: 183

  • @vsaucenou323
    @vsaucenou3235 жыл бұрын

    “Yo husband starts acting up, you cant take him back to his mama’s house!” -neil degrasse tyson’s mom

  • @agonleed3841

    @agonleed3841

    5 жыл бұрын

    He's broke. One day, he just stopped working It was another show I heard her say that in. Loved that part

  • @vsaucenou323

    @vsaucenou323

    5 жыл бұрын

    Agon Leed I agree, it was *HILARIOUS*

  • @ckdesert
    @ckdesert5 жыл бұрын

    "Drinking liquor and playing nintendo"....I'm DEAD!

  • @jakelibo8721

    @jakelibo8721

    4 жыл бұрын

    The joy of being an aunt or uncle lol.

  • @CanItAlready
    @CanItAlready5 жыл бұрын

    "Bobby, smile and show them Jamaica." LOL

  • @blackbutterfly6872

    @blackbutterfly6872

    5 жыл бұрын

    Uuuggg my kid need glasses show them Jamaica babygirl😟

  • @Thedownwardmineon

    @Thedownwardmineon

    5 жыл бұрын

    "we right on the beach, look at that" LMAO

  • @gloriabrown7466

    @gloriabrown7466

    4 жыл бұрын

    Lmao

  • @armandovarela767

    @armandovarela767

    3 жыл бұрын

    😭😂

  • @SarahLizDoan
    @SarahLizDoan5 жыл бұрын

    “Your husband start acting up, you can’t take him back to his mamas house”....or vice versa....that’s hysterical!!’

  • @coachtouden
    @coachtouden5 жыл бұрын

    I love her! "Bobby, smile and show them Jamaica " 😂😂😂

  • @GreenOrchid9
    @GreenOrchid95 жыл бұрын

    Wanda Sykes to host the next Oscars😆👏

  • @jv-lk7bc

    @jv-lk7bc

    5 жыл бұрын

    White House Press Corps Dinner

  • @beautyintheskies
    @beautyintheskies5 жыл бұрын

    I am literately crying. Also wanda’s makeup is on point here.

  • @spoonface9698
    @spoonface96985 жыл бұрын

    Hilarious from day one. They need to do a biography on Wanda Sykes. She has a lot of wisdom and foresight

  • @sonyap8253
    @sonyap82535 жыл бұрын

    He was wrong, I shot him, ya move on 🤣

  • @kimgunnings-wright6201

    @kimgunnings-wright6201

    5 жыл бұрын

    If only......😶 . Jk..jk😂

  • @samiyakoub7513

    @samiyakoub7513

    5 жыл бұрын

    On ya Sonya 😂

  • @Thedownwardmineon

    @Thedownwardmineon

    5 жыл бұрын

    hysterical LMAO

  • @daniel51020

    @daniel51020

    3 жыл бұрын

    LOL! So brilliant, so funny.

  • @lucyjames8818
    @lucyjames88184 жыл бұрын

    I love this woman. I love all the words she says. I'm Asian but I love black people so much. They represent freedom and happiness.

  • @VickiBee
    @VickiBee5 жыл бұрын

    "He was wrong, I shot him, you move on." LMFAO

  • @vividesigns
    @vividesigns5 жыл бұрын

    Wanda Sykes is one of the best comedians. Very relatable comedy.

  • @TheTruthDragonNJ09
    @TheTruthDragonNJ095 жыл бұрын

    I remember watching this back in the 90s!!!

  • @aniaamz3602
    @aniaamz36025 жыл бұрын

    Bobby smile and show them Jamaica 😂😂😂😂

  • @eerereps
    @eerereps4 жыл бұрын

    3:45 Bobby smile and show them Jamaica 🤣

  • @EJofLA
    @EJofLA3 жыл бұрын

    Wanda is golden. Doesn't get better than that! Thanks.

  • @msontopoftheworld
    @msontopoftheworld5 жыл бұрын

    "...they're not my kids!!" Damn straight 😃

  • @sawyerramos3113
    @sawyerramos31135 жыл бұрын

    soooooooooooo true, when my nieces and nephews come over, do whatever you want. all I gotta do is keep you alive. They tell me a problem they are having, i transfer them to their mother, i tell them oh no baby not today, you put that on hold till you go home and talk to your mom about it, lets just have a good time now. U see, I aint trying to cure cancer.

  • @Judy-um6yn
    @Judy-um6yn5 жыл бұрын

    Wanda is non stop funny! 😂

  • @j.f.5540
    @j.f.55405 жыл бұрын

    So hilarious. I love wanda shes my stress reliever and cure for depression i may say

  • @buffybell3409
    @buffybell34095 жыл бұрын

    My folks were together 37 years when he passed. It’d be 49 years this year. They were best friends and also into each other. That’s the secret.

  • @SarahLizDoan

    @SarahLizDoan

    5 жыл бұрын

    Buffy Bell that’s AWESOME and so inspiring!

  • @SynterraSteen

    @SynterraSteen

    3 жыл бұрын

    Awwwwww

  • @loriwise2512
    @loriwise25125 жыл бұрын

    He was wrong i shot him we move on .....😅😂

  • @HeidiSvenson
    @HeidiSvenson5 жыл бұрын

    She is the BEST, bar none, male or female.

  • @trillxfizzy
    @trillxfizzy4 жыл бұрын

    She's such a legend 😂

  • @antoinettegross5074
    @antoinettegross50745 жыл бұрын

    He was wrong I shot him move on🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @DrACCook
    @DrACCook5 жыл бұрын

    Wanda Sykes, Ciara and Pam Grier all look like they can be related...pretty

  • @KaneneProductions

    @KaneneProductions

    5 жыл бұрын

    I see it.

  • @ladyd1471

    @ladyd1471

    5 жыл бұрын

    Yep

  • @Michelle-pn9xt

    @Michelle-pn9xt

    5 жыл бұрын

    Ciara???? Not.

  • @randomthoughtswithericg9438

    @randomthoughtswithericg9438

    5 жыл бұрын

    Old Ciara yeah i see it

  • @aja1108

    @aja1108

    4 жыл бұрын

    I always thought agree could be ciaras mom

  • @Boobalopbop
    @Boobalopbop8 ай бұрын

    I remember when I first heard this joke at the Comedy Cellar in NYC, I was about 21 and single. Right now I am 44 and seriously OVER my husband, and this bit was always funny, but hits different right now 🤣🤣🤣. Literally what’s happening right now. “he’s just laying around making a funny noise”. Wanda, your humor is timeless, factual and hilarious.

  • @countgreg95
    @countgreg955 жыл бұрын

    The deeper understanding you get when you realize part of her unhappiness was living a lie because she was/is lesbian but I dont think she was out at the time of this stand-up.

  • @liliacollins8811
    @liliacollins88115 жыл бұрын

    She’s so underrated!

  • @matthewcarter1973
    @matthewcarter19735 жыл бұрын

    She so beautiful

  • @cecillec2331
    @cecillec23314 жыл бұрын

    I love Wanda. She is so funny.

  • @moda-vi
    @moda-vi5 жыл бұрын

    You should be able to rent your spouse on a year to year basis.

  • @TheRazorTongue

    @TheRazorTongue

    5 жыл бұрын

    That's what the Ferengi do.

  • @alliphil1

    @alliphil1

    5 жыл бұрын

    Yeup! I’m in! 😀

  • @lindabuck2777

    @lindabuck2777

    5 жыл бұрын

    Ooo girl the possibilities are endless! Woohoo imagine a menu.... I’ll take him for daddy of the week...now you got to go coz my ‘weekend’ guy is comin over... umm need a tuxedo guy going to the theatre let’s see....HEY WHATS GOOD FOR THE GOOSE...fuck it who cares...IM THE GANDER AND ITS MY TURN....lol

  • @blacklotus6947

    @blacklotus6947

    5 жыл бұрын

    In Wicca I forget in which sabbat but there's a trial marriage during that sabbat at the end you decide if you want to stay married or not

  • @blacklotus6947

    @blacklotus6947

    5 жыл бұрын

    kzread.info/dash/bejne/hICJ1Mmaqby-hbw.html it's explained hear as is all the sabbats and esabats

  • @thaleis
    @thaleis4 жыл бұрын

    Funny afterward to see this after all she said about her Herero first marriage. You can see how her point about commitment is different now she is happily married with her wife.

  • @AngelicFireIce
    @AngelicFireIce4 жыл бұрын

    My Dad was wrong, my Mom ran him over, he lived, they got over it.

  • @Ramonerdna
    @Ramonerdna5 жыл бұрын

    Damn Auntie Wanda sounds like the best

  • @Michelle-pn9xt

    @Michelle-pn9xt

    5 жыл бұрын

    Yeah, auntie Ramonerdna...

  • @Oridginale24
    @Oridginale244 жыл бұрын

    When people say “I do,” what they really mean is “I’ll try on my own terms.”

  • 5 жыл бұрын

    Actually, I DID bring my ex back to his mama’s house. He WAS broken. Unemployed. And a drug addict. Oh and a lying cheating abusive pos. So I took him back to live in his mommy’s basement where Id found him- WHERE HE BELONGS!!!!!

  • @utilitygirl9515

    @utilitygirl9515

    5 жыл бұрын

    Lol

  • @tennisindia0001

    @tennisindia0001

    4 жыл бұрын

    Yay You! 🙌😎

  • @Genkuro
    @Genkuro5 жыл бұрын

    It's no longer "till death do us part." It's "as long as it's convenient or you don't beat the crap out of me."

  • @adolphesax1982
    @adolphesax19823 жыл бұрын

    Well, you have two kids now, Wanda! But I'm sure they're worth it ❤️

  • @becausehetyrell
    @becausehetyrell5 жыл бұрын

    I love Wanda Sykes. I love her even more because she from my home state #represent Virginia

  • @kuckycharm28
    @kuckycharm285 жыл бұрын

    fast forward- we know why they never had kids

  • @ColoringKaria

    @ColoringKaria

    5 жыл бұрын

    Maria Nunga 😂🤣 I know! I would hate to be Wanda’s exhusband watching this.

  • @eveenterprises7913
    @eveenterprises79135 жыл бұрын

    Her hair is beautiful!!

  • @mmb1572
    @mmb15724 жыл бұрын

    Wanda is so pretty, and the funniest comic out there

  • @douglasgabriel5228
    @douglasgabriel5228 Жыл бұрын

    2:10 the best part

  • @michaelmiller1215
    @michaelmiller12155 жыл бұрын

    I didn’t know she was married before..

  • @user-wz5ir9jl8q

    @user-wz5ir9jl8q

    4 жыл бұрын

    For whole seven years!

  • @faithallen4040
    @faithallen40405 жыл бұрын

    She's always been funny...she was married to a guy who was her manager at this time. Didn't last...

  • @user-wz5ir9jl8q

    @user-wz5ir9jl8q

    4 жыл бұрын

    On the contrary: it lasted way too long, whole seven years!

  • @caliden3785
    @caliden37855 жыл бұрын

    Wanda is brillant.....

  • @lollybones

    @lollybones

    5 жыл бұрын

    Truth!!

  • @djb903
    @djb9035 жыл бұрын

    Love that old school comedy Central logo!

  • @TCt83067695
    @TCt830676955 жыл бұрын

    lol i love the retro hair

  • @dayko1329
    @dayko13295 жыл бұрын

    Three metaphors about the same thing. That’s fucking smart. He’s broke... he just stopped working.... just lays there and makes noises. Really good joke

  • @TM2U
    @TM2U4 жыл бұрын

    Great ! Love Wanda!

  • @jessicaghafoor6244
    @jessicaghafoor62445 жыл бұрын

    My husbands family and us live together so I go to his family when he does something bad lol I let them fix him

  • @AubreyJM
    @AubreyJM5 жыл бұрын

    She's great 😆

  • @angieblairedmello
    @angieblairedmello5 жыл бұрын

    Fuckkk laughed so harddd lol love her !!

  • @alexlucas2420
    @alexlucas24204 жыл бұрын

    She's amazing 😂😂😂

  • @lorettaknoelk3475
    @lorettaknoelk34755 жыл бұрын

    I like that hair!!

  • @KaneneProductions

    @KaneneProductions

    5 жыл бұрын

    Healthy and bouncy.

  • @vnonkwinn6233
    @vnonkwinn62332 жыл бұрын

    That's a very nice look for Wanda

  • @YogiliciousP
    @YogiliciousP5 жыл бұрын

    Wanda Sykes, before Esther, was a hottie! Amazing comedian with or without Esther.

  • @paulcousino8773
    @paulcousino87735 жыл бұрын

    Divorce can be your best friend!!!

  • @RiqochetRoseTarot
    @RiqochetRoseTarot5 жыл бұрын

    She's hilarious lol

  • @medusagorgon8432
    @medusagorgon84325 жыл бұрын

    Moses joke was hilarious! That audience was lame. :/

  • @maryrosekent8223
    @maryrosekent82235 жыл бұрын

    It’s too weird watching Wanda talk about being married to a man. She might be covering for herself, but it’s still too weird.

  • @marlajean1715

    @marlajean1715

    5 жыл бұрын

    Agreed

  • @sheldonscott4037

    @sheldonscott4037

    5 жыл бұрын

    She was married to a man. Emphasis on was.

  • @maryrosekent8223

    @maryrosekent8223

    5 жыл бұрын

    Sheldon Scott It’s not an unknown situation and serves to point out how much our lives have improved.

  • @davidhardwick3816

    @davidhardwick3816

    5 жыл бұрын

    Doesn't matter either way. You gotta know same-sex marriages go through at least a version of the same thing.

  • @sharpgirlsSerious
    @sharpgirlsSerious5 жыл бұрын

    I love her hair , she looks so much better with it styled like that

  • @moimeself1088

    @moimeself1088

    2 жыл бұрын

    So you prefer some funky wig over her naturally curly hair? Interesting.

  • @Boobalopbop

    @Boobalopbop

    8 ай бұрын

    @@moimeself1088That’s her real hair… This was the late 90s or early 2000s. Everyone wore their hair like this then. Myself included. It’s her real hair but with a relaxer.

  • @roberttacorbett5795
    @roberttacorbett57954 жыл бұрын

    Wanda, please come to the Peace Center in Greenville, S.C.!

  • @ADDAuntDawnDisorder
    @ADDAuntDawnDisorder5 жыл бұрын

    She looks very pretty in this piece!

  • @Boobalopbop

    @Boobalopbop

    8 ай бұрын

    This was before she “came out” and still wanted to attract men, lol

  • @brendarobinson909
    @brendarobinson9095 жыл бұрын

    Wanda is Funny 😃 Lol

  • @reneekerner8404
    @reneekerner84043 жыл бұрын

    Love her....

  • @catherinecoman2508
    @catherinecoman25085 жыл бұрын

    I love Wanda Sykes!!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😎😎

  • @KH-tx6lg
    @KH-tx6lg4 жыл бұрын

    Wow can I give this thousands of 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

  • @pamedwards871
    @pamedwards8715 жыл бұрын

    I don't pay the dental bills

  • @mikearena9077
    @mikearena9077 Жыл бұрын

    She looks good with that hair

  • @pameladavis2268
    @pameladavis22685 жыл бұрын

    OMG Wanda Sykes back in the day! She looks 20, rockin a white girl hairdo, I barely recognized her!

  • @straieraswift5785
    @straieraswift57855 жыл бұрын

    He broke and laying around making a funny sound. You can't return him too his mama

  • @assassinmir222
    @assassinmir2224 жыл бұрын

    I want her as an aunt.

  • @buffybell3409
    @buffybell34095 жыл бұрын

    The hell you can’t take him back to his Mommas house! In fact you should! You know every man with issues got a mom that made him that way. Or knows how to tune him up.

  • @blackbutterfly6872

    @blackbutterfly6872

    5 жыл бұрын

    Mannnnn I STILL want to tell my ex-mother in law off. You always would hear women come with baggage. Nobody told me men come with not only more baggage but effed up baggage!!

  • @fayepatrice1672

    @fayepatrice1672

    5 жыл бұрын

    Rosa Johnson they sure do. I learned that the hard way 😓

  • @betteurbain7911

    @betteurbain7911

    5 жыл бұрын

    Get a refund! Especially from those mothers who feel as if you took their son from them.

  • @cornellwaters9089
    @cornellwaters90895 жыл бұрын

    Thank You 🎲

  • @Wwillow1992
    @Wwillow19923 ай бұрын

    My grandmother shot her second husbands eye out... married for a extra 40 years lmao So the guy shot killed me here. Also backstory is basically he was teaching her how to shoot. He got a glass eye. idk much more lol

  • @usa4287
    @usa42875 жыл бұрын

    Didn't watch this but, yes, the dowry was the insurance for the wife.

  • @Tia-Marie
    @Tia-Marie5 жыл бұрын

    When I was enlisted, I ended up with two divorces cause there ain't no go damn warrantee against your spouse keeping their dick to themselves or that they would clean the house while you're deployed to the sandbox. I think he just assumed I'd end up kicking the bucket out there in some humorously biblical way.

  • @TheRazorTongue

    @TheRazorTongue

    5 жыл бұрын

    Ouch.

  • @JohnDoe-kj6wp

    @JohnDoe-kj6wp

    5 жыл бұрын

    If you expected me to clean the house and not fuck while you are away playing solder you have another thing coming lol.

  • @littlebird3167

    @littlebird3167

    5 жыл бұрын

    That's why I won't get married. You never really know what you're getting until you've already signed the deal. And like she said, the return policy sucks. Pass.

  • @agonleed3841

    @agonleed3841

    5 жыл бұрын

    Yea. I don't even know why people tried that marriage shit while enlisted. I went through my whole teen years and enlisted years free as fuck. Now married with 2 and 1 on the way and zero regrets....still dont trust the bitch, but I've had my fun and I also didnt need to worry about anyone when I was getting ambusjed..or saving dumb ass staff Sergeants who thought getting a purple heart was the goal

  • @barbararichardson2747

    @barbararichardson2747

    5 жыл бұрын

    Married in my twenties; mistook lust for love. Usually by the time people learn the true meaning of love they've had it and thrown it away.

  • @Xtheearthchildx
    @Xtheearthchildx5 жыл бұрын

    He's broke, god. Hilarious.

  • @elleshaw9837
    @elleshaw98375 жыл бұрын

    🤣🤣🤣

  • @michellecardoso5534
    @michellecardoso55345 жыл бұрын

    Marriage was, is and always be a covenant not a contract!

  • @JustTheTruth-Please

    @JustTheTruth-Please

    5 жыл бұрын

    It is a legal document that you get approved for from the state you live in. It is literally a legal contract.

  • @humanearthling4661
    @humanearthling46615 жыл бұрын

    You want cynicism? ok...marriage is all about ownership of body parts and bank accounts and only fools take a verbal "contract" seriously.

  • @delfonteknight3859
    @delfonteknight38595 жыл бұрын

    Being young is the most beautiful period for most people.She was nice looking & funny. Having kids is beautiful,tirring & dangerous.Kids own their parents.I have no kids,it is painful not 2 have kids.

  • @GreenOrchid9
    @GreenOrchid95 жыл бұрын

    She was married to a guy then...nientendo is a clue🐴

  • @timiw503
    @timiw5033 жыл бұрын

    🤣😂😂

  • @p.siloveyou7266
    @p.siloveyou72662 жыл бұрын

    She looks stunning.younger and slimmer😋😋

  • @loriwise2512
    @loriwise25125 жыл бұрын

    Their worth it lmao yeah right...liars..

  • @cazprescott9
    @cazprescott95 жыл бұрын

    25 years later...

  • @taste_the_rainbow312
    @taste_the_rainbow3124 жыл бұрын

    Woah she looks different from now

  • @estellaedwards7120
    @estellaedwards71205 жыл бұрын

    She looks so different

  • @jnicole501
    @jnicole5015 жыл бұрын

    Before she was gay? She looks cool though and funny too

  • @ebbyoma7008

    @ebbyoma7008

    5 жыл бұрын

    pretty sure she was always gay...

  • @joannboyd8855
    @joannboyd88555 жыл бұрын

    He just road by that's not good

  • @JungleYT
    @JungleYT5 жыл бұрын

    Would be nice if you at least gave the *year* that these came out... When she was still 1/2 way cute

  • @moimeself1088

    @moimeself1088

    5 жыл бұрын

    She looks exactly the same. What's your issue?

  • @JungleYT

    @JungleYT

    5 жыл бұрын

    @@moimeself1088 Back then, I would have let her sit on my Face... Today, not so much

  • @moimeself1088

    @moimeself1088

    5 жыл бұрын

    @@JungleYT what a catch. I'm sure she feels the loss. 🙄

  • @zaharaali7906

    @zaharaali7906

    5 жыл бұрын

    JungleYT 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️😂😂😂😂😂

  • @ailanieva6895

    @ailanieva6895

    5 жыл бұрын

    She is still beautiful and not only is she hilarious she is also a very intelligent woman with a funny great personality and in my eyes that makes her even more beautiful

  • @loriwise2512
    @loriwise25125 жыл бұрын

    Laying around making a funny noise ..no shit

  • @AnthonySmith-tz3kh
    @AnthonySmith-tz3kh5 жыл бұрын

    Last time a man gave a woman a contract she doomed humanity...

  • @user-ld9hs1mb1u

    @user-ld9hs1mb1u

    5 жыл бұрын

    Anthony Smith - Thankfully that’s BS. ✊🏿✊🏽✊🏻

  • @JohnDoe-kj6wp

    @JohnDoe-kj6wp

    5 жыл бұрын

    Then we really fucked up by letting them vote.

  • @CanItAlready

    @CanItAlready

    5 жыл бұрын

    Anthony Smith so you believe in fairy tales.

  • @pylchott9864

    @pylchott9864

    5 жыл бұрын

    True dat!

  • @michellehubbard8865

    @michellehubbard8865

    4 жыл бұрын

    You believe in fairytales. Bless your heart.

  • @allbricc4dathicc
    @allbricc4dathicc5 жыл бұрын

    how would this set go if a male was performing...

  • @amongstthepigeons1020

    @amongstthepigeons1020

    5 жыл бұрын

    rwpmp that’s right men have never in the history of the world complained about being married to a woman

  • @betteurbain7911

    @betteurbain7911

    5 жыл бұрын

    Not well because men have and have had the money and power in society which prevented women from being able to divorce them.

  • @JustTheTruth-Please

    @JustTheTruth-Please

    5 жыл бұрын

    Chris Rock.

  • @allbricc4dathicc

    @allbricc4dathicc

    5 жыл бұрын

    @@JustTheTruth-Please the bit of only wemon dogs and children receiving un conditional love

  • @garciatalk1090
    @garciatalk10905 жыл бұрын

    "FIrst"

  • @sdlock83
    @sdlock833 жыл бұрын

    Wanda Sykes was gorgeous before she "came out."

  • @ahngele28
    @ahngele285 жыл бұрын

    She wasn't funny (to me) then, and she's not funny (to me) now.