Tammy speaks my mind so often, you need to discuss all these deal breakers (not wanting to give birth) when dating. Also, her point that your trauma doesn't give you the leverage to inflict trauma on others is so true!

@sandy28702

5 ай бұрын

Facts!!!

Yall actively working to not interrupt each other is sooo endearing. I love yall 😂♥️

She should start going to therapy to overcome her tokophobia. Because it will affect how she bonds with her kids, if the pregnancy/labour doesn’t progress well.

@inesnathaliengoua

5 ай бұрын

and theraphy isnt a garanty itll work cause phobias arent rational even is some fears are valid. So they have to be prepared to be with and without kids or find alternatives. Carrying kids is just one part of having kids.

@catarinadecarmenlourenco3997

5 ай бұрын

I believe the ideia of therapy , but she can still have a lovely Journey of pregancy because , you don't know what the future holds. 😊 Give it a try you might like dear❤

@heyraodhat

5 ай бұрын

​@@catarinadecarmenlourenco3997"might" isn't helpful when it involves life

@radicalreactions1633

5 ай бұрын

The internalized misogyny is stinking here.@@catarinadecarmenlourenco3997

Tammy is so compassionate and so selfless. She don't want to put anyone through the pain of surgery because of something that can be resolved other ways.

@sanrihoe777

5 ай бұрын

Fr I love her so much

@saralast4625

5 ай бұрын

😂😂😂 sir give birth and come back and talk. For a tiny bit of pain u would rather have ur wife have risks of blood clots and breast cancer🙃 THE OTHER WAY IS YOU

@christabella7697

5 ай бұрын

@@sanrihoe777😮😮😅

@christabella7697

5 ай бұрын

@@sanrihoe777😅😊

@Sarah.f524

5 ай бұрын

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE TAMMY❤❤ I couldnt agree more!

Folic acid is given to expecting mothers or people who are trying to conceive. It's probably that the pharmacist was against contraception and gave her folic acid instead.

@menawu7617

5 ай бұрын

Exactly what I was thinking, feels too ironic.

@ivana5648

5 ай бұрын

oh wow this is shocking cause now that you’ve said this, this is scary

@Prinssella

5 ай бұрын

It’s also prescribed to people who have lack of vitamin B12 or folate in their body, which causes them to have a different type of anaemia, so get prescribed folic acid + vitamin B12 and sometimes D.. that’s me I went through that 🥹

@missteesaion1066

5 ай бұрын

From a pharmacist’s perspective, I can tell you it’s against the law for a pharmacist to have outrightly and knowingly done that so it’s very very unlikely. It could have been an error but again if she has been talking contraceptives for a long time, it’s a bit sus for her not to have known the difference between the two medications. There are a number of differences in packaging, size, etc between folic acid and contraceptives so I think there’s more to that scenario that we don’t know.

@kymberlyeyo6216

2 ай бұрын

​@@missteesaion1066I was about to just ask them. I'm like wait if that's the case. Isn't that illegal? What the f***

For the vasectomy argument- I agree with Beatrice to the max. If I'm risking my life a small thing should be nothing. I also plan to make it known in the initial stages.

You should always tell the truth especially to your partner. Never quite understand why some people feel its necessary to lie when you know it's going to end up one way 🤷🏿‍♂️

“Witch” is definitely derogatory. Never knew how it was related to African culture but that was such a good point to bring up! My experience is how women and men were slain in Massachusetts for being called that. It was no joke back then to be accused of that, literally led people to death.

the vasectomy convo was a bit frustrating- birth control does have a LOT of hormonal effects. We need to ask - Why are men not being held responsible? Why is ALL the onus on women? It is something we need to examine in deep. I think this is also a difficult convo to have if you are not fully educated, we all need to get educated on effects, procedures, and process around pregnancy, birth, birth control, vasectomies, etc!

@shellyjoe

5 ай бұрын

Perfectly written!

@melissabreezy7105

5 ай бұрын

Definitely 👏🏾

@saralast4625

5 ай бұрын

Yes there was a man in here trying to argue otherwise. I risked my life to give birth so u should do something small too

I just don’t get how it’s okay for girls to be on contraceptives from as early as 12 but a man having a vasectomy in he’s 30’s is too early? Women shouldn’t be the only ones who have to put their bodies at risk 🤧

@JaishaSmith

5 ай бұрын

Tammy never said having contraceptives that early is ok 😭

@LoveSierraAnastasia

4 ай бұрын

I was so confused about the lady (sorry I don't know names yet) who kept insisting it's a tough procedure when told it's not😂 like why are you fighting to protect them, it's a lunchtime procedure

The young beautiful lady with braids (the funny one) has a Master Degree! Wow! Sorry I watched you guys the first time because of Shxtsngigs, whom I am a fan of, and then subscribed after that Episode! I believed her when she said (during the Shxtsngigs Episode), she had only 2 GCEs. (Not that there is anything wrong with those who only have 2 GCEs) - I now realise she was just joking about that too! Gosh! Wow! Bless her - she is hilarious! FUNNY!🤣 Sorry I don't know her name nor any of the other beautiful ladies name. Just getting used to all the beautiful ladies. As an older woman I must support you ladies. Praying your Channel gets bigger and bigger, in the Mighty Name of Yeshua, Hamashiach Tsidkhenu - Jesus Christ of Nazareth! You ladies crack me up with your reactions - From the Hen!!! Hm!! Ahhh!! to Ohhhh!! etc🤣🤣🤣 THOROUGHLY ENJOYED THIS EPISODE. Glad I subscribed! Keep up the good work! I have shared this unto Twitter!

40:49 FINALLY somebody googles what is a vasectomy! Y’all was killing me with the guessing game man ! AND Tammy is right ! Idk WHERE Beatrice come from with her demanding what someone does with their body but Tammy is right.

When Tems sang "Crazy tings are happening", she was definitely talking about that guy that said "finders keeper"🤣

I really enjoyed how you guys discussed this first story, so respectful and tactful, the only thing I wish was mentioned was the tampering of the birth control

The” you touched it you got to pay” 😂😂😭😭😂 got me oh my gosh

Relatable dilemma. I wish her the best. On the vasectomy topic.....it's a 10 min procedure. Much like a colposcopy and biopsy or any of the other outpatient procedures women have to endure. And it is very reversible and a lot of times the tube reconnects once the man is taking care of his body. I know a couple post vasectomy babies 😆

This dilemma had my mouth wide open chile😮

The thing with contraception for men is that because they don’t carry the child, so they don’t carry the burden of responsibility. He will claim that he’s on his contraception and sow his oats and keep it pushing. It may be different in a marriage when your goals are likely to be aligned

Ladies this was a very interesting conversation. I have three children. Two pregnancies. After my twins I had my tubes tied. Me and my husband did not want any more kids. He had a vasectomy as well both of these things took place in our thirties. I really hope that woman is truthful with her husband.

I agree with Beatrice on the whole thing with putting your life on the line with pregnancy it really is risky but I can see Tammy’s pov too, love these discussions ❤

men need to take on the burden of child care and familly planning. we have to deal with a lot: period themselves, pregnancy, post partum, breast feeding if you do, taling the pill and its crazy potential effects, the pain of getting an iud (some doctors dont give proper pain management options). SO a man CAN 10000% deal with one injection or surgery

Tammy: “LET IT FLOW!” 😂😂😂😂

Ladies, y’all were so straight forward about telling her husband she’s pregnant and that it isn’t right to hold such a secret from him. But when it comes to the fact that he might have switched her pills, you all are talking about all these scenarios and what if the pharmacy made a mistake. BFR! She could have come around on wanting a baby but he made the decision for her and switched her medication. She isn’t justified in what she did, but that’s a dangerous man. What else could he do. Because if he felt like his wife was trying not to get pregnant, he could have talked to her. They are both holding secrets from each other and need to have a conversation or divorce. Clearly there’s a lack of trust on both sides.

@user-dd6mu5wi4o

5 ай бұрын

With the birth control situation, 23:09 explains it best. She must have hidden it in a place she knew he wouldn't be going through. Also she'swest African and as a fellow West African, I can say that if a woman goes to the pharmacy asking for birth control it's either they persuade her out of getting it, outrightly refuse to sell it to her, or switch the packaging. I know cause I've seen it happen and heard of it. In African culture a a woman having kids is one of the biggest things after getting married. So the fact that she said the only person she told is her best friend and the guy he was with when he found out she got called a witch. That is the sad reality of the culture we come from. Her family not knowing about this is telling too. I really do believe her husband didn't switch it. She's been really careful not to let that secret out to him finding that he knows her marriage is done for if it happens

@KabFromPhilly

5 ай бұрын

@@user-dd6mu5wi4o hey girl. I’m west African too. I think you and the hosts are amusing the writer is writing from West Africa. She said she’s west African, but never said where she’s writing from. But to your point, even if she hid it well from him and had to get it secretly, that doesn’t mean her pills were fake due to the pharmacy. Remember, she got it lab tested. That means she has the resources (funds and agency) to do that. I don’t understand why we don’t want to believe that he could have switched the pills. Why is that so far-fetched? That’s reproductive coercion.

@Naijandoll

5 ай бұрын

I’ll say, If the writer is living in Nigeria, they’ve recently been found to have MANNNYY fakes. You can’t tell a counterfeit from the real in Nigeria anymore so it could really be the pharmacy IF the writer is in Nigeria

@KabFromPhilly

5 ай бұрын

@@Naijandoll agreed!

@radicalreactions1633

5 ай бұрын

If the pharmacy didn't make a "mistake" any other time, it wasn't the pharmacy.

I watched Poetic Justice this weekend and all I could see was Beatrice. 😂😂 I can’t unsee the Janet resemblance now.

I love them trying so hard not to talk over one another😂 33:19

Tammy: “Is God’s will and my pocket- Is it colliding? This is my daily question to the man upstairs. 😂😂

Tammy’s “what are you” has me cackling😂😂 not I’ll leave u a tip😂

Happy Monday! I've been waiting since morning 😢 for this episode

folic acid can be used for a few different things; i was prescribed it when i got pregnant because i am epileptic and the folic acid would prevent my medication from affecting his development. i didn't want kids because of the fears of what could happen (also because a little girl bit me when we were 5). i did stop taking my pill after being married for 2.5 years due to peer pressure from family and friends. the fear became real but i just did research on the doctors in the area and went with the one who had the best reviews and track record. i will NOT be having any more because i did not enjoy being pregnant but what my advice to everyone who has asked me is to not listen to people's horror stories and focus on their own experiences. i snapped on my then husband and on everyone that would tell me what they went through.

Your laughs and personalities are intoxicating in such a wonderful way❤

Sharon legit cracked me up this episode 😂😂😂😂 those 1 liners had me hollering!

@40:19 I have to agree. Vasectomies should NEVER be taken as a "temporary" contraceptive like the pill or IUD. Even though it's technically possible, you can only have it succesfully reversed under very specific circumstances, depending on age, health, type of procedure, surgeon experience,etc). Your physician will alert you SEVERAL times beforehand, to not go through with it assuming a possibility of potential reversal later on. And even when it can be reversed (which is rare, despite what the internet makes us believe), the chances of men becoming fertile again became gradually unlikely the more time passes.

@kathyalex778

5 ай бұрын

Also no contraception is 100%

I Nannied for a family where the Dad was a Urologist and he actually performed his own vasectomy.

Love the last segment that you've added in your recent episodes.❤. Y'all so pretty. ❤

This was a great dilemma and I think you ladies gave great advice. I’m new to the podcast and I love it you ladies are beautiful on the inside and out! Excited to be apart ❤of

My husband and I have had 3 children from when I was 21 to 25 and they were all c sections. He got a vasectomy at age 29. It was like 20 minutes and just a day or two rest and he was fine. We don't want any more kids obviously but I had very hard, high risk pregnancies and he didn't want to have me going through that again and losing my life for another child. Have your husband's take the snip. I've been on contraception before and just continuously bled and depression. No thank you.

@kathyalex778

5 ай бұрын

Unfortunately vasectomies are not 100% and can lead to babies as well

@TropicalCrumpet

5 ай бұрын

@@kathyalex778 Yeah nothing is 100% but it's pretty close. I've seen a woman having a baby after 8 kids after her husband had a vasectomy so that spooks me a little, but I don't think it'll happen.

@TropicalCrumpet

5 ай бұрын

@@kathyalex778 After 7 years it can regrow apparently. 🤯

@jendash

5 ай бұрын

Same for me, it is so much easier for the man to do it. My husband got his at 33 and it took 15 minutes and he had to rest for two days.

Yall need yall own show im thinking on OWN, hr long, bring your beauty and culture to tv ❤❤❤ love yall

This is the most serious I’ve seen you guys. I’m six minutes in 😂

Happy Monday,really enjoyed this.

When Tammy sang “heal the world”😂😂😂😂

I completely agree with all your advice and she should talk to her husband but also make sure she doesn’t feel pressured into carrying that baby! I’m sure her husband isn’t like that but don’t do you don’t do anything you’re not completely comfortable with!

34:58 I think the girls are forgetting about tube tying. You can both get procedures so you can both have a peace of mind. However it’s harder for women to get the procedure done

4:45 - i thought it was just me!!! Im thankful i believe in God because outside of Him… long dayyyyy

My favorite ladies have posted ❤🎉, we enjoyed your last episode a lot 🎉❤

I think it’s really great that we’re having these discussions about children and birth. I’ve really enjoyed listening to todays video ☺️ But I agree with the comment of having a professional with you guys l to help discuss the topic with accuracy because not every single vasectomy can be reveresed and even if it does get reversed it does not guarantee that the chance conceiving a Child. The longer the wait inbetween reversal the harder it is to have kids from looking at medical journals and case studies. I also know from personal experience and from research that doctors are guilty for throwing the contraception pills onto to young girls to fix multiple different issues as a convenient or easiest option but can cause long term problems like infertility and conditions such as Pcos.

Luv you girls , your reactions are always on point

Sharon saying that African Americans “don’t even know where they’re from” was unnecessary, disrespectful, and anti Black. The same point could have been made without the derogatory comment.

@ms.jackson5957

5 ай бұрын

💯 agree. The comment was very dismissive, even if it was intentionally meant to be so. I was rankled by it.

Can’t lie….on the topic of the vasectomy, I completely agree with Beatrice because at the end of the day and as someone who deals with research in the science world, vasectomies are reversible. The process is also all that invasive which ik Tammy was asking about. I also do get Tammy’s point on it being crazy to have one in your early 30s especially when you don’t know what the future holds but again going back to Beatrice’s point it is reversible. So whatever happens in the future where say you two as husband and wife are no longer together (God forbid), he can always go beck and reverse it and continue going on with his life. Where if something now comes and happens to you cus of the contraceptives you’re taking ….that one is no reversible oooo abeg we no fit shout too much 😂😭. Anyways loved the topics in this ep!!

I totally understand her fear of the situation. Both of my sisters had complicated pregnancies. My oldest sister didn’t know she was pregnant until she gave birth and my other sister had an ectopic pregnancy. She was sick every single day and had to quit school and work. I’m also afraid of what I have in store for me.

I’m sorry but I agree with Beatrice. Vasectomy is actually reversible and and it’s a short outpatient procedure! It has like 95-100% success rate when reversed

best podcast channel out there

HI Just started following last year as I saw a snippet of you're podcast on social media, and have loved you're podcast since.

girl boo, vasectomies are done IN office😭imagine all the in office procedures we as women have to endure. Think of it close to a male pap 😭he will be fine

I'm with Beatrice on the vasectomy. The bodily impact of pregnancy and birth control is waaaaayyyyyyy more damaging than a vasectomy but there's so much misinformation around it. Like what are we even discussing here. My body has been through enough. If you're against this I wonder how much you care about me

Had to subscribe when y’all bodied the “ you don’t know my name “ riff LMDOAOA

I know it was a passing comment but i implore you to look into what youre saying when you say shes talking to someone who “doesnt even know where they come from.” When referring to whatever American housewife from whatever the show is. No one ever says this about Jamaican people despite Jamaica being a colony as well and its people largely the product of chattel slavery. Only about Black Americans.

@p2005marie

5 ай бұрын

I agree. That's a fact.

so glad I found y'all after ft shxsandgigs!!! 💜💜💜

I really enjoyed this episode, it picked my brain a lot. I have endometriosis and ovarian cancer runs in my family so I am on the pill so my endometriosis doesn’t spread, I would’ve never known I had it if I didn’t go to my OBGYN per conversation with my boyfriend. We don’t want kids yet so we discussed our options and he said he didn’t want me to take birth control if it is going to affect my hormones and everything else so I saw my obgyn and found out everything and ended up on birth control anyways. I like the idea of communicating with your partner and discussing options together though!

team vasectomy, that’s gonna be one of my non negotiables, after we feel we’re done and content

Love this podcast. You should always keep it 💯 with your partner!

Happy Monday!!! ✨💫

Hey my girls, happy Monday ❤️🫶🏽

I used birth control for 3 years because of painful periods. I would be sick to the point I wouldn’t be able to eat and would throw up all day. I eventually stopped because it did more harm than good and started making changes to my diet and lifestyle. Haven’t been sick since.

Personally I'm really big on honesty its just how you build the relationship up in the first place, but to not be honest and never even give your person a chance to react and the opportunity to show you the grace that you need in this situation. Like she said you can't use your trama as a reason to be dishonest and create distrust in someone else.

This podcast is hilarious 🤣 🤣🤣 I cried so hard at the end 😅

I love your shirt Tammy!

This scene just played out in Home and Away and the man left because this decision she made was unforgivable and I agree.

Love you Beatrice, Tammy and Sharon. BIG LOVE from Nairobi

I love the ad libs during the conversation and the random outburst of song lyrics.

As a wife you make these decisions together! I will not have contraception and pay attention in ovulation days etc ad my husband and I are a team! ❤❤❤ no o be is chopping anything unless it’s not working! Trust God…

Not Tammy singing rule the world 😭😭😭 she's so me in a serious situation 27:41

She could always say that realising she was pregnant made her truly realise she had that fear. And she can also disclose that she thought she had a fear but didn't want to talk about it in case it weren't true.

“Let it flow” 😂😂😂

“Free Ride” 😅😅🤣😂😂🤣😂😂😂😂

I always wait for the singing part😅😅

I think you meant to say non-negotiable. But yeah you need to say those things in the dating stage and just accept the person's reaction. Love you guys x

Re the vasectomy...one of my friends had one and he always suggests it to his friends. He did say it wasnt a big deal at all. He was awake but numbed and saw the whole thing lol.

Nigerian movieeee ohhhhh Nollywood 😂

i completely get tami’s point. she’s basically saying there’s a chance the husband might have another relationship in the future and having the vasectomy might ruin his chances of having kids later in life. if I as a woman (who usually falls into the primary caretaker role) am good with the amount of kids i have, to the point where if we separated i don’t think i’d want to go through pregnancy again, i can make that decision for myself to not have kids because it’s my body and my choice. my husband can make his own choice, obviously we want to make choices that align with one another and align with the idea of a shared future but if one person is more hesitant of going through the procedure than another, that’s okay! it’s your body, your choice. this applies to everything else that has to do with bodies in the relationship. my body my choice, if we made the agreement to have children then cool , this creates a bodily based partnership. “my body my choice” is more subsided here because we’ve made a choice together and i’ve agreed to allow him to weigh in on something concerning my body. additionally men only really have vasectomies to compare this to. women have contraceptions, abortions, and pregnancies (a lot more situations to apply the “my body my choice” concept to) in the end, if we’ve both initially made a decision we will follow through with that- typically it’s a decision regarding pregnancy. After pregnancy, comes contraceptions and vasectomies, if we initially agreed on doing that after a certain amount of kids cool ig… but if not, and it becomes a conversation we have and consider AFTER already having kids, i don’t feel like i have authority over what he wants to do- it would be preferable if we could make aligned decisions but it was agreed upon initially so it may come as a shock to one of the partners

I beg someone pls link me to the you me , me and you, you and I me and you episode haha ! Killed me😊

no, Sharon kills me with laugh. no that thread is 😂😂😂😂😂. i am done. nah its true when they say tay away from men. what?!!!

My ladies ❤️❤️❤️

Love you girls ❤❤❤❤

Hi Ladies love the podcast. Listening from Kenya it is possible to buy contraceptives over the counter.

Pregnancy easy or not is a life threatening thing period. I also feel like the husband knows she’s on the pill and switched up. That’s a more likely scenario than the pharmacist switching them. She’s been lying by omission from the get so who knows what he’s done as well 🤷🏽‍♀️

Tammie is being realistic guys She is living in this world ❤ Pregnancy is a beautiful thing when you want it and its purpose outweighs the risks and fears because we are all here cause of someone’s pregnancy but each to their own guys

Krushems aren't discontinued, I had one last week.

This dilemma reminds me of the Nigerian movie not the plan 😭😭😭

I’m assuming you all are being so serious about abortion because she’s in a country where it is outlawed. It makes me sad that so many women around the world are being crushed under the societal pressure to be mothers. Birth is a scary thing, her fears are not unfounded. I hate that every option for her will involve some form of pain, loneliness, and even mental or physical complications.

We would love an episode on women’s health during Women’s Health Awareness Month in May ❤ Even a share your story section.

I'm just watching this episode (3/4/24)... & I think this was a great topic. I dont think any age is too young especially if you & your partner have agreed. My husband & I decided together that he would get a vasectomy before he turned 30 because I just couldnt go thru another pregnancy. Both were alot for me from getting shots every week until birth, to just carrying heavy babies because my body is small. So we both agreed & honestly i think about it all the time but knowing we both made this decision together doesnt make me ponder about it much. Both parties have to agree in my opinion.

Lady with the phobia should have seen a councillor a long time ago, its late but she has to see one as a matter of urgency!!

What happened to introducing ourselves after reading a dilemma guys🥺😩

What is the name of the Playlist on Spotify? Tired finding it and I couldn't

@TheUncutpodcast_

5 ай бұрын

Link is in our bio! It’s called “BTS Song of the Week” and it’s hosted by Sharon

No I agree, there should be contraceptives out there for men !

@radicalreactions1633

5 ай бұрын

there are, they don't like the "side effects."

My guy was shooting crazily.. I stopped taking contraception as it messed up my period and the doctors kept telling me it’s normal and it was getting used to my body, mind you I have been using it for 9 years . How the hell is 9years getting used to..

Adding a small point here. Vasectomies are reversible. And it’s an outpatient procedure.

In as much as these three ladies say they are scared of pregnancy or settling, I can't wait for them to be wives and such wonderful mothers🤭💕

You touched it,you gotta pay?😂😂😂😂

Beatrice ,tag your hair brand .❤you