not enough people acknowledge the fact that not every transmasc had the experience of always being masculine, knowing they weren't a girl since they were a toddler, etc. i was very girly when i was a toddler, a tomboy when i was an older kid, and had a hyperfemme sort of phase at 14 when i was figuring myself out. now, i'm a bit "alt" and i dress both masculine and feminine, and i love eyeliner. the idea that being a man or a woman restricts you to a certain self expression is really harmful and made me think i was a cis girl for a long time. i love the feeling of being seen as a gnc guy. i love black nail polish. i also love wearing boxers and button up shirts. a silly euphemism, but gender kind of is a performance, and it's up to you to choose your character and play whatever role/s you like

Holy crap, that was mind blowing. I'm coming from the other direction, and I really enjoyed looking "masculine" as a guy. With button-ups, a neatly-trimmed goatee etc. I know of plenty of other girls who had beards and dressed up masculine before coming out, but nobody who actually enjoyed it. So thank you for uploading this, my life makes so much more sense now.

I'm nonbinary/transmasc and found this very relatable. I've known that something was "off" with me since I was young, but had no language or cultural context to tell me that I'm trans. But that "offness" was definitely gender related, and I spent a long time trying to throw myself into femininity and girls-only spaces (even sorority life) in an attempt to "feel like one of the girls", which for me was code for normal and socially accepted. I never truly felt like one of the girls, but I learned how to mask those feelings really well and was able to perform conventional femininity. I suspect my journey is a common one, although it's pretty invalidating to have so many people remark that I can't be trans because "where were the signs?" when I was younger.

Local man explains he is still a crow who loves shiny things before and after his transition. 🐦🖤

Your honesty and openness about your past is very refreshing. Not many trans people are willing to embrace who they used to be, because they want to act as if the past does not exist. I, myself am seriously contemplating transitioning, but, I will gladly acknowledge the fact that I used to be a guy. I feel that the past has helped get me to where I am now, and you, likewise, have the same kind of mentality. In a nutshell, I am so proud of you

I'm a trans guy and I also don't find my experience growing up was the stereotypical image of a trans boy. I wouldn't say I was hyper feminine but I also wasn't hyper masculine. I often see trans men saying they didn't like wearing dresses as kids, as a kid I honestly didn't care, I just wore whatever my mom made me wear, as long as it allowed me to move freely I didn't care what it was, that includes dresses, as long as it was comfortable I didn't care if my mom told me to wear a dress. What I did have is many "boy" interests. I loved cars, climbing trees, playing soccer, wrestling with my friends, etc. And I also had more friends who were boys rather than girls. I do remember liking some "girl" things tho, l loved playing with dolls and liked the color pink. I also didn't know from a young age. I would never say I was a boy at 6, I knew I was a girl and honestly didn't think much on the idea, the word was meaningless to me. I also liked my shoulder length hair, today I wouldn't like to have it like that but as a kid I liked it and honestly I don't think I would've liked a "boy" haircut. I didn't like really long hair but I also didn't like it short, I wanted it shoulder length always. When I was 7 I transferred into an all girls school and I did start being more feminine from then on. From that age until 11 years old I grew out my hair, dressed feminine, followed many trends for girls and even became interested in makeup, I never had it because my parents said I was too young but I had a phase were I was obsessed with watching makeup videos on KZread. Then when I was 12 and started getting into puberty everything changed, I no longer enjoyed those things, I started being more masculine again, cut my hair shoulder length again and went into my "not like other girls" phase. I did start to feel uncomfortable with the idea of being perceived as a girl but I didn't understand it. When I was 13 I started experimenting with pronouns and cut my hair really short, what we can consider a "boy haircut" and honestly I loved it. 13 was a confusing age because I thought I was a trans but didn't want to admit it. When I finally accepted it at 14 and starting living as a boy (socially transitioned) I honestly improved so much. I am now really comfortable with my gender and I love being masculine. Maybe when I start testosterone I will feel more comfortable on being feminine again just like you said, but who knows honestly? I'm just comfortable being this way now despite that not always being the case.

I felt exactly the same when i was hyper feminine and enjoyed that feeling, and then it just faded away. felt so icky and itchy and awful just as you described, i havent heard of any other trans guy experience similar to mine. So thanks, I appreciate it more than you know.

My thinking was always very feminine, in contrast to my presentation, and I always hated the way people thought of and treated me. Now my presentation, which is, of course, performative, matches my thinking and allows me to be perceived and treated as I desire. Presentation is communication, and I am sending the right message. I also just love feminine presentation; masculinity never felt right, and mine was unnatural, forced, stereotyped.

I feel like a lot of feminine things just give us more social affirmation when you're born female and you get treated better

I was pretty feminine as a kid and I vividly remember when I started to grow out of it. When I was about twelve or thirteen my mom made me a dress and a little green over jacket type thing. I was standing there trying it on for the first time after it was finished and it just wasn't sparking joy like the dresses my mom had made me when I was little. I thought something was wrong with me because she put so much work into it and I thought it was very pretty. It just didn't feel like me. I felt childish even though it wasn't a kid thing. For me, feminity was just a phase, something I grew out of eventually. Like my cis brother who also wore dresses as a kid but slowly stopped as he got older (I think it was a out the same age). A year or two after the dress, I started switching to mostly male clothes and a few years after that I cut my hair. I didn't realize I was trans or even know what that word meant until I had almost finished highschool. For a lot of guys figuring out they're trans means they get their first haircut and get new clothes but by the time I got to that point those things were done. Literally the only thing I could change without medical intervention was my name and pronouns. For some family members my coming out was a shock, but it was something that changed fairly slowly over time. I was a little girl, then I was in a weird middle phase, now I'm a man.

I've had a complicated relationship with feminine things. I was very admittedly against dressed and pink and stuff like that as a kid and if i was forced into wearing it i would rebel and play in the mud. As a teen i felt a lot more pressure to engage in feminine things, so i did end up getting into makeup. I was never good at it, i wasn't good at doing my hair and really I just wanted to basically blend in and not stick out because I already felt like a weird person (I'm autistic and ADHD so i think a lot of that outsider feeling has to do with that).

Especially when you are of African American descent you have these supper long braids and hair becomes so sacred and nails become cultural symbols so transitioning becomes impossible when long hair is considered feminine and you don’t want that but it’s hard to take off

This is extremely helpful! ❤thank you! So relatable

Thanks for sharing your experience, that's a great explanation!

I was the opposite before I transitioned. I was the stereotypical tomboy. I told people I was a boy and tried to pass before I even knew what transgender was.

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Well put!

i had the opposite experience, i was a very masculine woman but started liking makeup and ''feminine'' clothes after transitioning. it's an experience that's quite common i think, and it makes sense that the reverse also happens

It's so interesting to hear your experience with this, as I've actually been more comfortable expressing my femininity since coming out as trans! I used to hate anything feminine like dresses, skirts, nail polish, makeup, etc. Since I transitioned I feel a lot more comfortable experimenting with those things, and I'm super glad I'm more in touch with my femininity now. This change always seemed a bit weird to me but the context changing actually makes SO much sense! I guess I felt more comfortable being seen as a masculine woman than a feminine one, though neither option was ever completely comfortable for me haha