I TRANSITIONED... NOW WHAT?? - coming to terms with life as a trans person

Thank you for taking the time to watch this video! I will go over a lot of stuff, like figuring out who you are as a person apart from being trans, reconnecting with your "past self", seeing continuities in your life from before transitioning until after. I hope this video can be of help to anyone who is figuring themselves out either before, during, or after transitioning.
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Пікірлер: 103

  • @_sshh_
    @_sshh_Ай бұрын

    Your the first and probably only person ive seeen who suits a mullet lol looks good

  • @queerpagan

    @queerpagan

    Ай бұрын

    Lmaoo thanks, what an honour 😅

  • @_sshh_

    @_sshh_

    Ай бұрын

    Haha your welcome it looks great 🤗

  • @AmericanAmy
    @AmericanAmyАй бұрын

    Your person is your soul.

  • @queerpagan

    @queerpagan

    Ай бұрын

    That is definitely a good way to put it. Although not everyone believes in the concept of a soul, something along those lines definitely makes a lot of sense when trying to look for continuity throughout your entire existence :)

  • @lumen-saxty-sax
    @lumen-saxty-saxАй бұрын

    Hey, I hope that this isn't weird to say, but I think you look WAY better as a man than I did lmao. (im transfem btw)

  • @queerpagan

    @queerpagan

    Ай бұрын

    Loll not weird at all! I appreciate the compliment! I guess you can never look your best presenting as a gender you're not comfortable with right? Makes sense to me :)

  • @fake_sk8r200
    @fake_sk8r200Ай бұрын

    love your hair so much dude, im working on growing mine out as a transman aswell

  • @queerpagan

    @queerpagan

    Ай бұрын

    @fake_sk8r200 ahh thank you! Remember to stick to your goal, because I know how tempting it is to cut it all off sometimes hahah

  • @fake_sk8r200

    @fake_sk8r200

    Ай бұрын

    @@queerpagan i'm very dedicated lmao!

  • @queerpagan

    @queerpagan

    Ай бұрын

    That's awesome! Keep going my man!

  • @MM-km1vl
    @MM-km1vlАй бұрын

    Oh damn Dawid! I loooove the new haircut! You look so goodd!! ❤😮

  • @queerpagan

    @queerpagan

    Ай бұрын

    Thank you so much! I really like it too ❤️

  • @corvusventorum
    @corvusventorumАй бұрын

    again, so much wisdom in your words :)

  • @queerpagan

    @queerpagan

    Ай бұрын

    Ahh thank you! Appreciate it :)

  • @inlovewithcentipedes
    @inlovewithcentipedesАй бұрын

    dawid! życzę dużo szczęścia! pierwszy raz ciebie oglądam, gdy usłyszałem twe imię to odrazu się zacząłem zastanawiać, czy może jesteś z polski. szczerze mówiąc, jestem w szoku! dość mało mamy tutaj poganinów.. też jestem trans chłopem ale mam dopiero 15 lat i no cóż.......... X_X mądrze gadasz, fajnie się ogląda, leci sub

  • @queerpagan

    @queerpagan

    Ай бұрын

    Dzięki! Oczywiście że jestem z Polski :) Niestety mam wrażenie że pogaństwo to nadal wielkie tabu, i ludzie w ogóle nie chcą o tym mówić ani słyszeć. A szkoda, bo bardzo ciekawa jest nasza przedchrześcijańska historia... Jak masz 15 lat to jeszcze całe życie przed tobą. Mam nadzieję że upłynie ci jak najlepiej. Nie mieszkam w Polsce więc nie jestem zupełnie na bieżąco jeśli chodzi o możliwości dla osób trans, ale podejrzewam że teraz zacznie być trochę lepiej z nowym mniej prawicowym rządem 😅 trzymaj się zdrowo! Dzięki za suba :)

  • @mariagloria5775
    @mariagloria5775Ай бұрын

    You look fantastic with a mullet mate!!

  • @queerpagan

    @queerpagan

    Ай бұрын

    Thank you! I'm glad you like it!

  • @KrazeeKrab
    @KrazeeKrab4 күн бұрын

    Bro, you are really wise and know yourself so well! And at only 19! It took me a lot longer to get to the points you‘re at already

  • @queerpagan

    @queerpagan

    4 күн бұрын

    @@KrazeeKrab Thank you! Totally fine if you don't have everything figured out at my age, I guess people are getting the access to the terminology from an earlier age, so they are able to put their experience into words much earlier!

  • @KrazeeKrab

    @KrazeeKrab

    3 күн бұрын

    @@queerpagan oh thank you! I wasn’t even talking about gender though, I just meant your general understanding of yourself and how accepting you are of who you are (: I‘m not trans but I could still relate to taking forever to understand & accept what and who you’re like (I am also neurodivergent though 😬). However, reading your comment again, maybe you‘re not exclusively talking about gender either hahaha. Anyway, keep going and good luck on your journey (:

  • @queerpagan

    @queerpagan

    3 күн бұрын

    @@KrazeeKrab yes, my comment could absolutely be applied to different things as well, including neurodivergency! So many people share their experiences online which both makes it more easily accessible and makes it more reassuring for (young) people that they are not alone in their struggles! (I do also come from a highly educated household so I guess I have always been expected to be intelligent and mature 😅)

  • @AshtonBreadserk
    @AshtonBreadserkАй бұрын

    Bro you look majestic

  • @queerpagan

    @queerpagan

    Ай бұрын

    Omg thank you ❤️

  • @anoNEMOs
    @anoNEMOsАй бұрын

    What! You pass really well. I've watched some of your videos and it didn't even occur to me that you could be trans. (I thought you're just a gay or bi cis guy, because of the name of the channel)

  • @queerpagan

    @queerpagan

    Ай бұрын

    Ahh, thank you! I guess it's because I started hormones pretty early and never really had any extremely feminine features 😅 but what you're saying is exactly the reason why my channel is named "queerpagan" and not "transpagan" or something, I want to cater to a wider queer audience and my existence is more than just being trans :)

  • @inlovewithcentipedes

    @inlovewithcentipedes

    Ай бұрын

    lmao same

  • @fairy12324

    @fairy12324

    Ай бұрын

    Great mimdset wish you all the sucess on your channel and personal life ❤🎉​@@queerpagan

  • @queerpagan

    @queerpagan

    Ай бұрын

    @@fairy12324 thanks 🖤

  • @juanitopantuflapantufla2605
    @juanitopantuflapantufla2605Ай бұрын

    hihi, trans girl here I normally don't comment but this is a nice video and wow, there's so much hate in the comments (probs best to block and ignore them) I really liked this video, not usually my style of video, but it's nice hearing other's people's perspectives loved the vibes of the video, definitely made me think about a few things different and like others commented, your hair looks GREAT boss : D

  • @queerpagan

    @queerpagan

    Ай бұрын

    I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Yeah, unfortunately hate comments are a given if you decide to be open about being trans online, honestly this video is not even doing that bad in that regard 😭

  • @kimsherlock8969
    @kimsherlock8969Ай бұрын

    Age will give you perspective Growing old isn't easygoing transition 😕 from young to old age is transition to your new body and face . A face you may not know as you. Goodluck as this is the most difficult process of life . Moving towards the winds of time and death

  • @queerpagan

    @queerpagan

    Ай бұрын

    For sure, but I'm not scared of changing, of aging. I already look much older than I used to, because I am older. It's a natural part of life, and I will not try to deny or stop it when the time comes :)

  • @HLBear

    @HLBear

    Ай бұрын

    I've not met anyone who ended their transition the same way they imagined. Priorities and expectations change along with their physical presentation. It is such a powerful process, and I honor their choices. I honor yours. 😊

  • @queerpagan

    @queerpagan

    Ай бұрын

    Of course. Because people also just grow up and mature. If they set themselves specific goals time and time again, of course they will end up somewhere else than they originally anticipated. But if instead they are already open to changes in their goals, needs, expectations and environment, I think that could make it less hard to acknowledge if, for example, you made a decision that you perhaps regret now. Does that make sense? Like it's less disappointing to reach a specific goal if you can acknowledge that that is not your goal anymore!

  • @kimsherlock8969

    @kimsherlock8969

    Ай бұрын

    One day you wil, be an old fart and no one will recognise you as vibrant and alive because Everyone ages into their trud character Hahaha Hahaha 😆

  • @Jif_from_the_peanut_butter_jar
    @Jif_from_the_peanut_butter_jarАй бұрын

    I just wanted to let you know you look absolutely awesome man! Where did you get the earrings? :0

  • @queerpagan

    @queerpagan

    Ай бұрын

    Thank you! I'm guessing you mean my fishbone ones? I got them at a giftshop in Amsterdam (just the hangers, I attached them to tunnels I already had XD)

  • @aotctd
    @aotctd26 күн бұрын

    What is all this styled like how we grew up ?

  • @queerpagan

    @queerpagan

    26 күн бұрын

    @@aotctd what do you mean by "all this" and who is "we" ?

  • @connor5669
    @connor5669Ай бұрын

    I'm at a point in my transition where I've embraced my butchness (as a trans woman). And it really helped me integrate my boy/tomboy childhood. Made me realize I've been pretty much on the money

  • @queerpagan

    @queerpagan

    Ай бұрын

    Oh that's amazing! And if anyone asks you why you present butch you can say that you've already been that way since childhood 😅 But in all seriousness, I'm happy for you that you've been able to accept your present and with that also made sense of your past. Sounds great!

  • @WolfODonnelfan

    @WolfODonnelfan

    Ай бұрын

    The only problem I have within the trans community are the people that wants others to transition against their own choice. My own aunt tried to manipulate both myself and my family that I wanted to transition from a boy to a girl when I was younger because I had lots of very feminine traits. Hell, I still have a bunch of feminine traits and most of my friends are in fact women, but I just understood at an early age that there is a difference between wanting to transition and being femme/butch. There is nothing wrong with being a guy and being feminine or being a girl and being masculine, and if someone tries to manipulate anyone to transition simply because they have either of these traits - then they are viewed worse than Hitler/Judas/Stalin/Quisling in my book.

  • @queerpagan

    @queerpagan

    Ай бұрын

    @WolfODonnelfan yeah manipulating people into making choices they do not want to make is just bad in general. Unfortunately some people are like that...

  • @jan_Masewin

    @jan_Masewin

    Ай бұрын

    @@WolfODonnelfan I'm really sorry to hear :/ it can be so confusing finding out about yourself even without other people making it much harder

  • @Q-Therapy
    @Q-TherapyАй бұрын

    Nice wallpaper. Skoll!

  • @queerpagan

    @queerpagan

    Ай бұрын

    Oh it's not a wallpaper, I painted that myself :) but thanks!!

  • @fulicious2991
    @fulicious2991Ай бұрын

    Damn! You're 19? I do envy you as a 21 year old who found out I was trans only recently and am quite scared of regretting a transition due to all the fear mongering, but I do appreciate these sorts of videos by fellow queers that give me strength to be myself ❤ (PS. Fellow pagan? 👀)

  • @queerpagan

    @queerpagan

    Ай бұрын

    You know, you can never win with the fearmongering. When you know you're trans at a young age, it's "you're too young to make such decisions", but when you realize it later, it's "well why didn't you come out earlier?". Remember everyone's journey is different, and 21 is still pretty young, you still have your whole life to figure stuff out ❤️ And always nice to see fellow pagans!!

  • @NameGoesHere988

    @NameGoesHere988

    14 күн бұрын

    I would recommend going to get professional help that can diagnose you with things like gender dysphoria.

  • @queerpagan

    @queerpagan

    14 күн бұрын

    @NameGoesHere988 unfortunately not everyone can access that type of care, and it's getting more and more difficult as countries are turning transphobic while waiting lists are getting longer... but I agree, it is definitely helpful to talk to a professional about your feelings and have someone reassure you that those feelings are valid and prepare you for a potential medical transition :)

  • @NameGoesHere988

    @NameGoesHere988

    14 күн бұрын

    @@queerpagan Yeah, access to it is a problem.

  • @user-jc8cc4ch6w
    @user-jc8cc4ch6wАй бұрын

    Hi from Australia i was born male and found out i was Tran's at 58 i took HRT for 6 years but it caused big problems with my body and interacted with other medications I take so iv stopped my birth name is David

  • @queerpagan

    @queerpagan

    Ай бұрын

    I can imagine transitioning at that age must be difficult. I'm sorry to hear that it didn't work out for you, but still kudos for discovering yourself at that age! I hope you can continue living your life at peace with your identity :)

  • @derekandlisaarmstrong4194
    @derekandlisaarmstrong419427 күн бұрын

    What defines you as a man that you felt limited to being the actual woman you are?

  • @queerpagan

    @queerpagan

    27 күн бұрын

    How do I even respond to such a stupid comment omg. Imagine being this delusional. I have never been a woman. A woman is an adult human female, which is something that I, both legally, physically and identity-wise am not. Hope that helps!

  • @derekandlisaarmstrong4194

    @derekandlisaarmstrong4194

    27 күн бұрын

    How is this stupid when you are the one altering your body to fit an ideal you were not born into? What exactly is a female then?

  • @queerpagan

    @queerpagan

    27 күн бұрын

    Isn't everyone? people are born naked, nearly hairless, wet, screaming babies. I'm sure we all grow out of that, right? We are not born into being "men" or "women". Our life trajectories are chosen for us by socially established norms which depend on our genitals. Don't you think that's a bit weird? I am not trying to fit into any ideal. That is quite literally what being queer means. While I acknowledge that socially established gender norms can be helpful for people who want to function in a heteronormative world (eg. be a man, marry a woman or vice versa). This does not apply to me and other trans/queer individuals. Why would I force myself to be something I'm not?

  • @NameGoesHere988

    @NameGoesHere988

    14 күн бұрын

    @@queerpagan I will say this; I personally believe you are female, you may look and live like a man but that doesn't make you one. However, because you transitioned and do look and live a male you will be percieved as one by society. That's my thoughts. Nothing wrong with it and nothing wrong with being trans if it is right for the person, everything is taken into consideration and they've been diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria. Good luck on your journey.

  • @queerpagan

    @queerpagan

    14 күн бұрын

    @NameGoesHere988 I am confused by your way of thinking... how can you both imply you accept trans people and the decision to medically transition, say I am perceived as a man in society, and yet on the other hand say you personally believe I'm female? That does not make any sense. You either respect a trans person's identity or you don't. I am not female, and your personal belief is honestly not really relevant in all this. My appearance and legal documents would say otherwise. Don't take this the wrong way, I do believe you're trying your best to understand, but you cannot respect trans individuals whilst simultaneously believing they are not the gender they say they are :)

  • @professionalboycottservice7872
    @professionalboycottservice7872Ай бұрын

    Why wear those weird ass earring where I can see through them?

  • @queerpagan

    @queerpagan

    Ай бұрын

    @@professionalboycottservice7872 yeah that's kinda the whole point of them

  • @professionalboycottservice7872

    @professionalboycottservice7872

    14 күн бұрын

    @@queerpagan African tribes popularize them. Not really white people thing.

  • @queerpagan

    @queerpagan

    13 күн бұрын

    Not really, they have been found in other cultures as well. If you look at depictions of Buddha you'll see that he is depicted with stretched earlobes. And, are you saying that because something is of African origin, that makes it bad? You know what that's called? Racism! Hope that helps :)

  • @tekgid433
    @tekgid433Ай бұрын

    God loves you! He will never stop!

  • @queerpagan

    @queerpagan

    Ай бұрын

    Uhh that's nice of him I guess 👍

  • @cmin3783

    @cmin3783

    Ай бұрын

    whenever ppl say that to lgbtq ppl unprompted it just feels like a backhanded way of calling them sinners

  • @queerpagan

    @queerpagan

    Ай бұрын

    @@cmin3783 I know, it's a weird comment to make towards anyone tbh. But not every religious person has malicious intents, so I would like to give them the benefit of the doubt 😅😭

  • @cmin3783

    @cmin3783

    Ай бұрын

    @@queerpagan yeah ofc a lot of them mean well, but even then it still feels like it comes from a place of hate a lot of the time

  • @jan_Masewin

    @jan_Masewin

    Ай бұрын

    @@queerpagan lets hope so 🤷‍♀

  • @professionalboycottservice7872
    @professionalboycottservice7872Ай бұрын

    I'd just like to know, you'll still need gynecologist because your internal parts are still female. Just like how transwomen are still male and will need prostate exam!

  • @queerpagan

    @queerpagan

    Ай бұрын

    @@professionalboycottservice7872 ok, and? Is that somehow supposed to make me detransition or what? Actually, being on testosterone causes trans men to develop prostate tissue, meaning that even we should at some point get checked for that. Being trans is not an easy process, but that does not mean people should not be provided with the care that they need based on their bodyparts. A gynaecologist is not going to say "I can't help you because you're a man". A gynaecologist will provide service to anyone with the genitals that they have expertise on. I don't understand why you think that's some kind of "gotcha" moment.

  • @professionalboycottservice7872

    @professionalboycottservice7872

    14 күн бұрын

    @@queerpagan What "gotcha" were you talking about? There is none. You were born female and your chromosomes are XXY, not XY. You still need gynecologist for female internal organs issues just like how a male with XY chromosomes need a prostate exam to screen cancer. Gynecologist for female parts, urologist for male parts. You just have cosmetic surgery and hormone therapy but your bone structure and pelvis size will always be female. Do not pervert science.

  • @queerpagan

    @queerpagan

    13 күн бұрын

    XXY chromosomes would make someone intersex. When you try to be bigoted, at least be factually correct XD. Also, you realize that you can... remove... internal organs... right?

  • @brysoncherry9884
    @brysoncherry9884Ай бұрын

    Get a job narcissist

  • @queerpagan

    @queerpagan

    Ай бұрын

    What 💀 I literally made this video to help others, how is that narcissistic 🤣

  • @queerpagan

    @queerpagan

    Ай бұрын

    Also, I see you edited your comment. I have a job? I'm not sure how this is relevant to this video?

  • @Shawnee_Rose

    @Shawnee_Rose

    Ай бұрын

    ​@queerpagan It is commonly those who are narcissists who go around calling people narcissists. I think you did a wonderful job just being you and expressing yourself and your lived experiences in ways that would make people (who actually have a functioning conscience and empathy) see you as the person you are instead of some boogeyman created out of theocratic authoritarianism and it's proponents' political agendas. It always amazes me that there are those who think accepting the very existence of LGBT people is an OPTION for them. The notion is absolutely absurd and radical as well as immoral even by Christian standards. You continue to be yourself unapologetically and seek happiness in any form that suits you and brings no harm to others.

  • @queerpagan

    @queerpagan

    Ай бұрын

    @@Shawnee_Rose thank you for your positivity! "Functioning conscience and empathy" is likely what people who decide to comment things like this lack. They assume that being queer, because it is a question of "identity", e.g, personal, is inherently narcissistic. Which it obviously is not. As you said, perhaps Christians should finally start practicing what they preach and love their neighbor unconditionally.

  • @NameGoesHere988

    @NameGoesHere988

    14 күн бұрын

    Being trans and narcissism is different. If someone is actually trans and deals with Dysphoria and goes the route of gender transition to help eleviate it, it doesn't mean that they are a narcissist.