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@TheTalentedMoron

4 жыл бұрын

No, not after you didn't even hit the obvious after ad joke, "Don't you hove minions to do that?".

@quesa9094

4 жыл бұрын

hello college humor

@samuelr.6046

4 жыл бұрын

Secret text 1

@justsomeguywholikeswater3566

3 жыл бұрын

@Paul Borst don't be a jerk mate. Don't just tell people to fire their employees

"I'm on this low-carb diet, which I've actually been doing really well on" * deep and sinister voice* "oh congratulations"

@veghead05

4 жыл бұрын

😂😂

@youtubemoderationtaskforce5583

4 жыл бұрын

The funniest part of the video

@TCt83067695

4 жыл бұрын

0:41

@krawr2187

4 жыл бұрын

He’s evil but that’s no reason to not be supportive!

Raph being so exasperated that he rubbed his temples with machetes is a M O O D

@cheesecracker5223

4 жыл бұрын

Robert Stephens time?

@chukolance

4 жыл бұрын

@@cheesecracker5223 1:45 . very brief

@AlexssandroMeneses

4 жыл бұрын

I was expecting blood after that!😤🤷‍♂️

@fae.fantastic

4 жыл бұрын

He also did air quotes with them 🤣🤣🤣

@XxHikidashixX

4 жыл бұрын

@@fae.fantastic 2:53

As soon as Jess said "I've been bad!" in that sassy aunt voice, I knew this would be fucking hilarious. Also, thanks for bleeping the expletives instead of muting them.

@AutisticSoyDaddy

4 жыл бұрын

@@roy04 Profound.

@macandcheese__

4 жыл бұрын

"sassy aunt voice" lol yess that's exactly how that voice is described 😂

@DoctorX17

4 жыл бұрын

Bleep bleep Yeah, that was driving me crazy too

@jennabeth6851

4 жыл бұрын

The bleeping is so much more annoying than the muting.

@DoctorX17

4 жыл бұрын

@@jennabeth6851 now see, the muting was driving me nuts... I liked it better when they just cursed. Second best would be nonsense words

"Oh... congratulations." It's like, yeah, I'll slice up people with my hands, but I'd never miss an opportunity to congratulate someone's personal growth.

@veghead05

4 жыл бұрын

😂😂

@adammichna5175

4 жыл бұрын

Well, a low carb diet won't contribute much to your personal growth aside from... self-discipline, I guess? It is also unhealthy to leave out fruits and vegetables from your diet.

@Obi-WanGaming

4 жыл бұрын

Look at “the sex-positive slasher”

@jupiter2175

4 жыл бұрын

I'm your 999th like!

Can we please get a dropout show based on these villains. That would be incredible.

@Lilabeela998

4 жыл бұрын

Slightly Irish I could see it. They’re in an all out battle releasing gas, stabbing people, blowing stuff up Jessica: walks out and opens a plastic bag of brownies. Good guys: Confused Villains: she’s on a diet Good guy: oh mY GOODNESS RETREAT! WHO KNOWS WHAT ELSE SHES CAPABLE OF

@fionnreidy6078

4 жыл бұрын

That would be incredible!

@DarthReven810

4 жыл бұрын

Why so I could not pay to not see it.

@meat6470

4 жыл бұрын

especially Jessica, she’s my favourite because she is so BAD

@deadgodofneutrality7725

4 жыл бұрын

Episode 2 The villains are robbing a bank and are fighting with the police Jessica: **walks out the bank** Also Jessica: **pulls out a bag of peanut butter s’mores** Cops: no Cops:oh no don’t eat it Jessica: pulls out a s’more Villains: do it Machete dude: **visible confusion** Jessica: **eats it** Cops: **pulls out a walkie talkie** we need to fall back there’s a girl who is cheating on her diet Chief of police: oh my god, she’s back Chief of police: **picks up phone** captain motivation we need your help Captain motivation: I’ll be there

jessicas behaviour is so bad that this videos gunna get demonetised.

@johnmijo

4 жыл бұрын

Another BAD-pocolypse is about to happen :p

@Matkerzah

4 жыл бұрын

are you saying jessica's the reason we need to get dropout? i approve

@leighbelk769

4 жыл бұрын

Age restricted too.

@maryjoyspohrer256

2 жыл бұрын

LOL!

WE NEED MORE OF DOMINIC MACHETEHANDS.

@LemonToGo

4 жыл бұрын

How does he pee though?

@sharpy5509

4 жыл бұрын

@@LemonToGo how do he wipe

@brukts3361

4 жыл бұрын

@@LemonToGo carefully

@julianauston9001

4 жыл бұрын

Agreed

@Monkeyshaman

4 жыл бұрын

@@sharpy5509 standing on the ring like everyone else.

asking him how he pees must have really cut deep

@user-mh9dx7nz2r

4 жыл бұрын

Get out....

@rivendriftwood

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah, he probably felt like he was stabbed at the back.

@BlackCover95

4 жыл бұрын

Gotta admire your sharp wit.

@williambaldwin9068

4 жыл бұрын

normally I'd leave some kind of edgy reply

@ashermack2543

4 жыл бұрын

Cmon man no need to be so pointy

Grant looks a little too comfortable being tied up like tht... Js.. 🤣😂

@veghead05

4 жыл бұрын

Lookin mad cozy

@Ertwin123

4 жыл бұрын

How are you surprised?

@MsMatilda24

4 жыл бұрын

That's Grant alright ;)

@Atom85825

4 жыл бұрын

Bet hes the one pitching that bit

@TweekMorgan4dictator

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah, couldn't tell ya why, but he always seemed to be the kinda guy who was into it.

the curses with beeps sounds way better than silence, nice job

@muppetallica

4 жыл бұрын

@@Jason_Bryant Finding that loophole was a stroke of pure genius!

I'd actually really like to see more of these characters, they're great

@ellaisplotting

4 жыл бұрын

^

@anna-ti6fy

4 жыл бұрын

Kon2336 agree

@alastorbutwithagun

4 жыл бұрын

I ruined the 420.

@manami3164

3 жыл бұрын

Reminds me of dr horrible’s evil league of evil

I love Trapp in this one, he really developed a character and makes him live

“I’m going to sit out on this one but maybe just listen a little bit”!

My favorite part was “probably cause you’re not a woman”. Apparently most evil doers are very open minded on the concept of evil and the standards for it

2:50 LOL, he did air quotes with machete hands! 😂

@meid789

Ай бұрын

Didn't realize that 😂😂

It's funny how Raph is usually the level headed one in the skits.

@Rapscallion2009

4 жыл бұрын

Not sure it's just the skitts...

Well of course Johny Steel got captured, Zach isnt in the Van

@theoriganalxldub

4 жыл бұрын

The meta here lol

@silviaov633

4 жыл бұрын

This comment actually made me sad 🙈

@freebananase2357

2 жыл бұрын

also, Johnny looked like he was enjoying it.

Raph doing air quotes with machetes for hands will never fail to make me lose my mind

I can’t understand how Trapp was able to say General MacheteHands without bursting into laughter for the whole sketch.

Wait, is General Machete-hands the "bloodiest warlord in the world, with machetes for hands" or the "bloodiest warlord in the world with machetes for hands"? Commas matter.

@chrishoward797

4 жыл бұрын

The closed captions don't have a comma, so I guess it's the second one.

@walman9356

4 жыл бұрын

I don't know the way he said it sounded like there was a comma

@theglassofmilk

4 жыл бұрын

The man has machetes attached to his arms where his hands would be so I think you can guess which one it would be

@kevadu

4 жыл бұрын

@@theglassofmilk *whoosh*

@ArturGlass.C

4 жыл бұрын

@@awaruwidianto First one means the guy is the bloodiest warlord in the world and as a side note the guy also happen to have machetes for hands. But the second one means from all the people in the world who got machetes for hands, he's the bloodiest warlord of them all. Which really isn't impressive at all because he's probably the only person in the world who has machetes for hands...period. And I won't even apologize for ruining the joke by explaining it...because I'm baaaaad.

Jessica probably is the second most evil person there. Lily's character funding McConnell's reelection campaign is downright despicable, though.

@Rougarou99

4 жыл бұрын

But did McConnell ever eat cookies on a diet?

@DrZaius3141

3 жыл бұрын

@@Rougarou99 Don't be silly, he always had his regular diet of lettuce, pellets and the occasional garden flower.

@Rougarou99

3 жыл бұрын

​@@DrZaius3141 In this case, veganism is worse.

This is like watching Dr. Doofenshrmitz or Dr. Draken try to prove how bad they are to all the other villains.

@alyssajade6802

4 жыл бұрын

not sure if it was intentional, but it definitely made me think of dr horrible....

The formula of "everyone is being weird and crazy except for one person" is still being executed so well, CollegeHumor.

I was waiting for jassica to be revealed to also have killed like a million people or something and just be like "Im so baaad"

This gave me such a sense of joy and I don’t know why.

@Toastmaster_5000

4 жыл бұрын

because it's making fun of something that happens in real life and is really goddamn annoying

@AvitalShtap

4 жыл бұрын

PLus the villains were "yes and"ing her and being unexpectedly nice which is a great and sweet contrast :)))

trapp acc has some of the best comedic timing and improv lines ive EVER seen. I lose it at 1:17 its just so real

"oh congratulations" "and - ohh thank you!" These are the best two lines

I hope General Machete Hands will be a recurring character

The machete air quotes at 2:52 heckin killed me! I’ve replayed it 4 times already

I love Jess so much she has this fun mom energy 😂😂😂

I actually totally want this to be a series.

That wink totally crushed my heart😍

2:41 i love the irony of grant being tied up by someone with swords for hands, spot on guys!

Trapp: "How do you pee?" Raph: *sigh*

@Hashslingingslasher-

4 жыл бұрын

we watched the video too and that bit didn't even tickle my funny bone, even slightly

@breadfan_85

4 жыл бұрын

@@Hashslingingslasher- well, aren't you a delight. /s

@theoriganalxldub

4 жыл бұрын

@@breadfan_85 I need this question answered.

@garykerwin9924

4 жыл бұрын

Someone please solve this

@JachAnen

4 жыл бұрын

@@theoriganalxldub Carefully??

“That’s two chocolates, Jessica!” lol

"I'm just going to sit out of this one, but maybe, you know, listen a little bit"

Any time my mom talks about her dieting and triggers my eating disorder, I'm gonna think of this short from now on. Thank you, collegehumor.

@adulthumanfemale420

4 жыл бұрын

fucking same!

@456puff

5 ай бұрын

Hey, I know this was four years ago, but I've also struggled with eating disorders. How are you doing now? Both of you?

"The Evil League of Evil is watching so beware. The grade that you receive'll be your last, we swear. So make the bad horse gleeful, or he'll make you his mare. You're saddled up; there's no recourse. It's "hi-yo, silver!" Signed: Bad Horse."

@GalacticHero_

4 жыл бұрын

Oh no..... they’re getting a run for their money

I want more of these characters doing crimes, like robbing a bank or torturing Agent Steel.

@AvitalShtap

4 жыл бұрын

SAME BRING EM BACK or have them do small boring crimes and general machete hands gets furious that they don't involve killing people

did she just said the coconut one was disgusting? She IS bad :O

@stanamilanovich3956

4 жыл бұрын

She's right though. That artificial coconut is the worst and everyone should know it. So...bad...

@lloydfromfar

4 жыл бұрын

Damn! I have to agree! Long live coconut! :O

These characters are great! Loved Trapp. "Oh congratulations". Everyone's character suited them well

I'm with Jessica. You only live once. You could walk out that door and get hit by a bus. Will your dying thought be, "I shouldn't have eaten the chocolates?"

@portalMaster299

4 жыл бұрын

Yes

@muppetallica

4 жыл бұрын

@@portalMaster299 😂

@dimwarlock

2 жыл бұрын

I mean, yeah, I guess a bus out of control could go into the sidewalk as soon as a chocolate craving person comes out of a building. Sounds like an ad.

this is a classic, just give it time

She really is a villian! She called coconut GROSS

Him: “How do you pee?” Me: “ I don’t need sleep, I need answers!”

-My eyes: see the thumbnail and title -my brain: "what kind of pøŕņ is this?"

Can we just appreciate how badass everyone looks in this sketch

“Hey, I’ve got a question for you” “Me?” “Yeah” “Go ahead” “I’ve just been wondering” “Mmhmm” “How do you pee?” *slowly looks at hands and sighs*

2:31 ok this person is literally a monster

This is the best non-brenan sketch you've done n a long time. well done!

2:17 lol, i can see that failed wink

1:47 Don't mind me just scratching my had with M A C H E T I.

This is the content I stay subscribed for... and Um, actually

@joncarey6121

4 жыл бұрын

sketches and originals for me.

Ah yes, the back guy is cast as the warlord with machete hands, I see how it is 😅

Why did raph saying “oh..congratulations” make me laugh so hard lol🤣

“How do you pee?” *_Vietnam flashbacks_*

You might think that General Dominic Machetehands is a very complicated man. He's actually pretty cut and dry. 😮

@TiagoMorbusSa

4 жыл бұрын

I don't know, he comes across as pretty edgy.

@j.h.181

4 жыл бұрын

He's the kind of guy that gets straight to the point.

Machete hands is the most 90's supervillain ever and I love it

This was hilarious and we definitely need a sequel.

We all know people like that in real life. So I'm not sure what the joke is- they really are evil.

@veghead05

4 жыл бұрын

😂 whoa

@Vision_Voyagers

4 жыл бұрын

You know someone called general masati hands

No Raph... answer the damn question.

Lily playing a hacker is so perfect I love it

I would love to see more of this, it was hilarious. I love the evil laugh and grant as the spy is just perfect.

This sketch is fantastic

I should be part of this group; I'm bad at everything!

Those "quotations" that Raph did had me in stitches more than anything else in this skit. 😁

I love the complex layers and character development of General Machete-Hands.

finally another good sketch also that expression by raph at the end is priceless

This is one of my favorite sketches y'all done

My whole family was on a diet so i bought a large pack of our favorite chocolates (Raffaello) and placed them in a bowl beside the fruits to mess with them. They were gone in 2 days and i didn't eat any. Am i bad?

@AvitalShtap

4 жыл бұрын

EVIL ENABLER

@videosdrive469

4 жыл бұрын

Oh my god you're pure evil

@videosdrive469

4 жыл бұрын

I'm calling the cops you psycho

0:31 "Naxo, who has planted viruses-" Video: posted November 2019 Me: I'm sorry what-

How have I never seen this sketch before??? This is amazing!! *flaps machetes as air quotes*

So what does she do as a member of this group of villains? Order the food? Ensure their opponents don't feel good enough to fight back because she ate the all the good stuff from their meal?

@Luster21

4 жыл бұрын

She is the heart and soul of the group. Her refusal of personal growth represents the villains dedication to all that is wrong and naughty.

@jonsku6662

4 жыл бұрын

@@Luster21 Ah! That explains it ... So why isn't she the leader though?

When you're trying to conquer the world, but Karen is cheating on her diet...

Trapp is absolutely amazing in this sketch

This honestly has an amazing sub-text that I don't want to explain with a comment, good show CH.

I reference this video in my day to day life regularly. This is some peak College Humour material right here. Well done, everyone.

The thing about being bad and ordering fries reminds me of that john mulaney joke about ordering fries being like going on a little adventure

I don’t know what I was expecting but definitely not this premise LMAOOO

I love this sketch so much!

raph's slightly pained expression makes this whole sketch for me

3:08 did he do a Dr. Evil voice?!

I like how General Machete-hands tried to use air quotes but obviously he can’t

My teacher said if you know the answer raise your hand... I knew the answer but didn't raise my hand. *I've been bad*

Machete hands is so bad he can scratch his own head with his machetes.

Mike's Dr. Evil laugh was spot on

This is one of the best CH sketches!

i love these characters

I actually loved this

The chocolate scene is like teaching a dog how to do something

Excellent sketch.

Can I join this team? I cheated in tests and never have been caught, so I'm kinda like a professional in cheating and I also have already made plans for taking over the world or killing... You understand.

@AutisticSoyDaddy

4 жыл бұрын

*gasp* That's BAD!

@littletravelblog7589

4 жыл бұрын

@@AutisticSoyDaddy I know, right?

Dominic Machetehands should have a video where he tries to eat food. *knocks over glass* "oh, c'mon! I just wanna EAT!" *Swings hands around and cuts the table* "oops."

This is so psychologically true as well. I feel villainous almost when I break such resolutions

I think this is my favorite CH video, fucking fabulous.

The costume design is amazing

this is the first college humor sketch thats made me laugh since 2016

Raph's sigh at the end is perfect

A sketch where the character who is the voice of reason has machetes for hands is a good sketch