I'm £15,000 In Debt | FULL EPISODE | Spendaholics

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This almost 30 year old is addicted to buying coffee, clothes and never ending dinner dates. Can Jay Hunt and Benjamin Fry cure this shopaholic?
#Spendaholics #FullEpisode #CoffeeAddict
This 29 year old 'girl about town' knows her spending habits need to change as she's about to hit her 30's. Jay Hunt and Benjamin Fry use shock tactics to confront Anna with her overspending, but can she commit to going cold turkey for 7 days?
Spendaholics is a British TV series where the Spendaholics team tame out-of-control spenders!

Пікірлер: 763

  • @jellyt8767
    @jellyt87674 жыл бұрын

    I watch.. how clean is your house to motivate me in cleaning 600lb life, helps me control eating and now this show.. giving me fear of going in debt

  • @ravenblack2262

    @ravenblack2262

    4 жыл бұрын

    Jelly T me too

  • @1588chrissy

    @1588chrissy

    4 жыл бұрын

    Ditto! Also check out Money Moron and Till Debt Do Us Part!

  • @djc811

    @djc811

    4 жыл бұрын

    Me, too!

  • @bdina29

    @bdina29

    4 жыл бұрын

    Haha me too 🤣

  • @jsmeyers2

    @jsmeyers2

    4 жыл бұрын

    Jelly T OMG - I’m the same way with these shows!

  • @MandyGood
    @MandyGood4 жыл бұрын

    I make my coffee at home and save so much money. I use to eat out a lot now I make meals which is cheaper. My Goal is go through 1 whole year not buying anything except food, shampoo, conditioner, and pads. So far I went 4 days without shopping and it might not seem like nothing but it’s a big step for me because I’m a shopaholic. It feels better to not shop but to save.

  • @quickchris10comcast

    @quickchris10comcast

    4 жыл бұрын

    Yeah, eating out is a poor financial decision all the way around, yet more and more people are doing it. You usually don't get stuff that is that nourishing. Not only un-nourishing, but fattening. And of course, it is overpriced. I even got food poisoning at an Olive Garden once.

  • @margaretfudge9985

    @margaretfudge9985

    4 жыл бұрын

    LaLa Smith Good luck, you can do it. X

  • @lauradonovan2631

    @lauradonovan2631

    4 жыл бұрын

    I know right? This show really helps me

  • @spencerhowell9287

    @spencerhowell9287

    4 жыл бұрын

    Agree it’s when people start to get older they regret there financial mistakes.....

  • @MandyGood

    @MandyGood

    4 жыл бұрын

    It’s been 12 days I haven’t bought any stuff! It feels so good to see my money grow in my account.

  • @lisha1981
    @lisha19813 жыл бұрын

    Anyone else binge watching these during lockdown

  • @bentleymilnes1977

    @bentleymilnes1977

    3 жыл бұрын

    I'm $7,000 in debt I have eight credit cards

  • @lisha1981

    @lisha1981

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@bentleymilnes1977 okay chile.. anyways.

  • @NoContextRDH

    @NoContextRDH

    3 жыл бұрын

    Yep - love them wish they’d bring it back haha

  • @neilpearson8352

    @neilpearson8352

    2 жыл бұрын

    There’s a similar programme called Bank of Mum and Dad which is also good

  • @lalah9481

    @lalah9481

    2 жыл бұрын

    Yes! We need more episodes please!!

  • @alisaklimanska7480
    @alisaklimanska74802 жыл бұрын

    Can’t judge anyone in these episodes... I lived in London for 7 years and a good luck saved me from debt as I often retreated into the compulsive spending. I was depressed for many years, lost and alone and there was literally nobody to help or guide. So I really really feel for all these people. Life in the city can be very hard and it either toughens you or breaks you.

  • @hannahcorinne5388

    @hannahcorinne5388

    9 ай бұрын

    And other people love London. It really doesn't matter where you live, you like some places more than others but you can't catch depression just by living in London. And not everyone who's depressed has a shopping addiction.

  • @deborahcurtis1385

    @deborahcurtis1385

    8 ай бұрын

    @@hannahcorinne5388 Why do you want to squash someone else's experience? Nobody said ALL people living in London are depressed and have shopaholic tendencies. She was saying 'life in the city can be very hard', and it can! What's it to you if that happens to others? You are invalidating their experience, but what is your motivation? Aren't you being a bit of a bully?

  • @imalrockme

    @imalrockme

    5 ай бұрын

    The op actually put it quite simply and true, and ot meets what you're saying: "Life in the city can be very hard and it either toughens you or breaks you".@@hannahcorinne5388

  • @bigb853

    @bigb853

    4 ай бұрын

    Totally agree....I am trying to get out of Sydney...

  • @sproutsrevil6508

    @sproutsrevil6508

    3 ай бұрын

    London sucks. I was there for 20 years. I was very focused though. Sick of renting. I saved up for 4 years. Gave up buying shoes. Clothes. Magazines. Hardly ever went out. No holidays. No expensive make up! And I got a 2nd job plus doing tons of over time. I was focused. Managed to buy a house. Best thing I ever did

  • @Probity100
    @Probity1004 жыл бұрын

    I hope this humble, likeable lady sorted her life out, she is relatable & came across as genuine.

  • @emmajo8318

    @emmajo8318

    3 жыл бұрын

    My thoughts exactly! She seems so lovely

  • @froggy9191
    @froggy91913 жыл бұрын

    She was such a good sport compared to a lot of people that have been on this show. Respectful, open to change, intelligent and put the hard work in straight away :)

  • @jackb5640
    @jackb5640 Жыл бұрын

    £1.90 for a Starbucks, been a long time since that was possible!

  • @beaulieuc8910

    @beaulieuc8910

    4 ай бұрын

    very true. it is about twice that for a jar of brown sauce at Sainsburys 2024

  • @lmusima3275

    @lmusima3275

    4 ай бұрын

    It’s now costing £3.50 minimum

  • @mansimansi2964

    @mansimansi2964

    2 ай бұрын

    Which year was this aired?

  • @MsRosiecat
    @MsRosiecat4 жыл бұрын

    Actually Anna is the most likeable person of the series. She wasn't acting like a spoilt brat for a start. I hope she does well in her life.

  • @spiritualgiftsireland3012

    @spiritualgiftsireland3012

    4 жыл бұрын

    I was thinking the same. Well said.

  • @katerinaarvanitaki726

    @katerinaarvanitaki726

    4 жыл бұрын

    I agree she is a great girl

  • @meganwilliams7042

    @meganwilliams7042

    3 жыл бұрын

    Totally agree

  • @kdp8133

    @kdp8133

    7 ай бұрын

    We are about 20 years on now, would be good to have an update.

  • @railwaychristina3192

    @railwaychristina3192

    4 ай бұрын

    She and Ruda the South African lady were my favourites. I disliked the blonde who flipped out over T shirts.

  • @Probity100
    @Probity1004 жыл бұрын

    Psychological coach Benjamin, 28:33 onwards, asks a question but never waits for an answer, instead he immediately talks over the person and seems to guide the answer to what he wants to hear. 30:05 is not Benjamin’s talk with Wendy, but his talking to Wendy. She only repeated what he said to her. This happened in many videos not just this one.

  • @msfussyb

    @msfussyb

    3 жыл бұрын

    I agree, it makes me think he is not a good psychologist at all just likes to hear his own voice and theories

  • @5kgxistiouvockzit7r94

    @5kgxistiouvockzit7r94

    3 жыл бұрын

    I don't think he's even an actual psychologist. Even in the show they introduce him as a psychological coach. He did not study psychology at university- at least there is no proof of that anywhere on the internet. There was an article in daily mail saying that in fact he made all this money by being an entrepreneur in a night-life business. On his website it says "he has received a training in psychotherapy", by European law anyone can call themself a psychotherapist- even the biggest quacks selling snake oil. He talks so much about the childhood- sounding like Freud but we all know how is Freuds work looked upon nowadays.

  • @brandont7718

    @brandont7718

    3 жыл бұрын

    He’s a Pound shop “therapist” regurgitating every cliche he can think of.

  • @talkinghead1554

    @talkinghead1554

    2 жыл бұрын

    Exactly, being a psycholist myself I don’t see why he thinks he can present himself as the expert about someone elses life and history

  • @nickybutt9733

    @nickybutt9733

    2 жыл бұрын

    He's got terrible energy. Literally goes straight to childhood trauma to explain everything.

  • @mewpie85
    @mewpie853 жыл бұрын

    I'm so glad I rebelled against societal norm and I never took up drinking alcohol. Saves my liver/body and my wallet.

  • @lisakelly9180

    @lisakelly9180

    6 ай бұрын

    Bit smug

  • @beaulieuc8910

    @beaulieuc8910

    4 ай бұрын

    same here, and smoking, drugs, pets, kids ... paid off my mortgage early

  • @abd4175

    @abd4175

    2 ай бұрын

    Well done, that takes some willpower and resistance to peer pressure, especially in UK. In Europe you would not have had an issue. Thumbs up 💯

  • @kdp8133
    @kdp81334 жыл бұрын

    I used to love watching this when it was first broadcast on BBC3, in the days before it went exclusively online. It's great to see how things/fashions/costs of things have changed in 15 years. This was before the big banking crisis and literally everybody had a handful of credit cards which were up to their limit. 'Designer' coffee was really starting to take off then too, lol.

  • @sharonh2991

    @sharonh2991

    7 ай бұрын

    Right, I figured this was in the early 2000s. Hopefully she bought a flat before things started turning around in about 2014. If so she’s sitting on a bucket of equity.

  • @johannafischer7536
    @johannafischer7536 Жыл бұрын

    "designer coffee" really got me 😂 but in any case I thought she was so respectful and not fighting against the help at all but being a really good sport

  • @carolg6598
    @carolg65983 жыл бұрын

    I'm really glad they didn't talk about her childhood in front of the cameras. They don't need to film every personal detail of a person's life. The episodes that do film the intimate personal conversations between people feel sooooo uncomfortable, like I'm witnessing something that I really shouldn't and should give them some privacy.

  • @jaydahome-teillarddeyry6200
    @jaydahome-teillarddeyry62004 жыл бұрын

    My husband’s company provides a Nespresso machine and healthy snacks and quick meals to encourage people to quit spending money on takeout coffee and food. It’s amazing how much people spend on these small daily indulgences.

  • @annas4714

    @annas4714

    3 жыл бұрын

    That is more an exclusion than a norm. With my former boss (small business) I had to ask for literally everything when I ran out - starting with stickie notes and paper clips :(

  • @kimzeck9827

    @kimzeck9827

    3 жыл бұрын

    That's very lovely ! Great company to work with!🌻

  • @southcountysue3811

    @southcountysue3811

    3 жыл бұрын

    What a wonderful company he works for

  • @emmagifford1956

    @emmagifford1956

    2 жыл бұрын

    What is the name of the company, please? I would love to check it out.

  • @sammy_oooo
    @sammy_oooo4 жыл бұрын

    This was back in 2004, the early-to-mid noughties was full of British shows that was "no nonsense" with "shock tactics" (Gillian McKeith diet shows come to mind) but I vaguely remember takeaway coffee was referred to as designer coffee. Even Kay is suggesting a low waste approach of reusing the coffee cup, now it's almost habit for everyone 15 years later. Really enjoyed revisiting this series, thank you for uploading the programmes

  • @bethanymiller8406

    @bethanymiller8406

    4 жыл бұрын

    Sammy Ö saying it cost £1.90 for a coffee in London too...if only! And a flat in London for £260,000. Unheard of!

  • @msjadedoom

    @msjadedoom

    4 жыл бұрын

    Someone (might have been Kay) said “how many people do you see going around with these reusable cups!?” That made laugh, especially since now “designer coffee” places encourage them!

  • @lmusima3275

    @lmusima3275

    4 ай бұрын

    Imagine how much it would have been in 2024

  • @msjadedoom
    @msjadedoom4 жыл бұрын

    I can’t believe a takeout coffee was £1.90 at one point! Especially in London! Couldn’t get one for less than £3 when I lived there.

  • @debbieherrera1605

    @debbieherrera1605

    3 жыл бұрын

    In the USA a Starbucks coffee is about $5. I have never bought a coffee there. If I don’t want to make it at home I will get one at the gas station way cheaper.

  • @NoContextRDH

    @NoContextRDH

    3 жыл бұрын

    Now you’re looking at about £4

  • @velvetindigonight

    @velvetindigonight

    2 жыл бұрын

    This series started in 2005!

  • @peggypeggy4137

    @peggypeggy4137

    2 жыл бұрын

    This show was taped Friday, November 5th, 2004. See newspaper (1:21)

  • @goldsilvertravel

    @goldsilvertravel

    7 ай бұрын

    It used to be £1 in Starbucks back in 2010/11

  • @andredesign3985
    @andredesign39854 жыл бұрын

    I save £9,500 a year by 1) making my own coffee (used to drink at Starbucks every day) 2) quitting smoking 3) Learned how to professionally dye my hair, eyebrows and eyelashes 4) Doing my own gel nails 5) working out at home, not in the gym 6) got rid of cleaner 7) went on keto diet, and couple of more things I can’t remember. I even made a video about it.

  • @Molunia

    @Molunia

    4 жыл бұрын

    @GW S the best comment ever🤣🤣🤣

  • @lucyhanna5172

    @lucyhanna5172

    4 жыл бұрын

    Well done! You've inspired me, all the best

  • @andredesign3985

    @andredesign3985

    4 жыл бұрын

    lucy hanna Thank you 😃

  • @nuchzara97

    @nuchzara97

    3 жыл бұрын

    You rock!!! Congrat

  • @Max_G43

    @Max_G43

    3 жыл бұрын

    How many pounds for a coffee in Starbucks

  • @rabidrabbitshuggers
    @rabidrabbitshuggers3 жыл бұрын

    Is it REALLY that crazy to be approaching 30 and have roommates when you live in an area like London? London is ABSURDLY expensive. That's actually one of the most sensible things she did from the start.

  • @jenjones90

    @jenjones90

    2 жыл бұрын

    She was earning decent money (50k salary in 2005) and it was a lot cheaper to buy back then. I earn less than her now and bought my own flat in London 2 years ago at 32. With her earning capacity, and what she could have saved over the years, yeah it was unusual to be sharing at 30 back then.

  • @gemmastaines5706

    @gemmastaines5706

    Жыл бұрын

    I’ve seen people in their 40’s and 50’s living like this just so they could live in central London! The mind boggles!!

  • @Sinsteel

    @Sinsteel

    Жыл бұрын

    I think it's just that she's an "adult" now, and at some point you probably don't want to be single and sharing a flat at 50. Though some would.

  • @turtleanton6539

    @turtleanton6539

    5 ай бұрын

    Yeeh

  • @beaulieuc8910

    @beaulieuc8910

    4 ай бұрын

    i agree, lots of people do that in London, it saves a lot of money and better than renting a 1 bedroom flat., has all facilities and often bills included...

  • @KewBlinkla
    @KewBlinkla4 жыл бұрын

    My mom used to always tell me (when I was a teenager, granted it’s kinda more acceptable for a teenager to have her mindset) “you’re going to nickel and dime yourself broke!” And I always thought eh ya maybe but oh well... as an adult now??? I have trouble getting a drive thru coffee because I worked at Starbucks so I KNOW I can make it at home and have the stuff for it. I am such a penny pincher now 😂

  • @pamcoulter6341

    @pamcoulter6341

    4 жыл бұрын

    My Granny always said if you don't have the money for it, don't buy it. Loans, credit cards etc were swear words 🤣

  • @alegriabarofka7378

    @alegriabarofka7378

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@pamcoulter6341 wise words!

  • @dawnashford3307
    @dawnashford3307 Жыл бұрын

    Not to be unkind but she looked quite a lot older than 29 at the start. By the end she looked so much more happy, healthy and radiant and her age. This process obviously did her the world of good. She was great and really receptive to it. Hope she's still doing well and has her dream home now 💟

  • @zarasamuels9377
    @zarasamuels93774 жыл бұрын

    I feel like that's so British, that her mum had never thought about talking about emotions with her daughter till a therapist mentioned to her.

  • @myhappyspace4533

    @myhappyspace4533

    4 жыл бұрын

    I am married to a brit and they are clue less when it comes to emotions. Keep calm and carry on

  • @sewhip

    @sewhip

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@myhappyspace4533 That is quite a rude generalisation, don't you think? Not everyone is made to gush and there is no need to insult people who are different to yourself.

  • @myhappyspace4533

    @myhappyspace4533

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@sewhip not ment to be rude, just as I do not have a clue about many things in life. Was just a observation

  • @garyhost1830

    @garyhost1830

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@myhappyspace4533 yer sure of it I know exactly what ya mean. Carona virus, morgage foreclosure, missus just cheated on me it doesn't matter my mate would be like: wellllllll how about a cup of tea then. Oh come on I'm sure it's not as bad as all that. See c'mon I'll put the kettle on

  • @alegriabarofka7378

    @alegriabarofka7378

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@garyhost1830 You are stupid!!!

  • @Youtuber5775-
    @Youtuber5775-9 ай бұрын

    I think financial planning should be taught in high school as a whole life lesson for every single student! They need to know how to manage their own finances before they start making decisions about their lives and what they really need and what they don’t need.

  • @emma-victoria933

    @emma-victoria933

    Ай бұрын

    Yep indeed and paying bills like how to.. how to do basic DIY including cooking basic healthy meals. List goes on.. it should be mandatory.

  • @DenBank1
    @DenBank14 жыл бұрын

    I watch to get motivated to keep my room tidy as my finances are fine. Thanks for these videos.

  • @flori5548

    @flori5548

    4 жыл бұрын

    DenBank1 haha, I do the same ... managing to keep it all under control and clean, but sometimes the monster is coming in and tries to drag you down >> off I go to a motivational KZread video :)

  • @neen42

    @neen42

    4 жыл бұрын

    Massive medical and plenty of student loan debt. Luckily I like lentils, beans, and thrift stores!

  • @BlanceDevereaux
    @BlanceDevereaux4 жыл бұрын

    This woman was only 29 back then? I have a hard time believing that.

  • @tan_ya_

    @tan_ya_

    3 жыл бұрын

    It was her 10th Anniversary of turning 30. No way she was 30.

  • @DrGalazkiewicz

    @DrGalazkiewicz

    3 жыл бұрын

    Yeah, she looks mid-40s.

  • @alexlio

    @alexlio

    3 жыл бұрын

    Agreed!! She looks way older; I don’t think it’s about Botox or make up standards - just genes and perhaps the alcohol isn’t great for her skin either

  • @malerieayala4349
    @malerieayala43494 жыл бұрын

    Being a contractor or freelancer really causes so much anxiety. You’re always waking up everyday thinking your income can and will end whenever someone else feels like it. I’m glad she was able to find a permanent position. Job security makes a huge difference.

  • @Theaterfreak

    @Theaterfreak

    3 жыл бұрын

    Absolutely. My sister worked in stage management in the west end for sixteen years and was constantly stressed, not just because it’s a hugely stressful career but also because she’d have months of £0 income. She had a houseboat for a while because she was sick of not having a home of her own, but she was constantly on the move. Once she quit backstage theatre entirely and got a job at Kew Gardens she relaxed immensely.

  • @LisaTCanada

    @LisaTCanada

    3 жыл бұрын

    I disagree. I think people who don't understand freelancing think it's just this wild ride but if you're smart and organized you can make more as a freelancer/self-employed person than you can as an employee.

  • @mfenn7325

    @mfenn7325

    2 жыл бұрын

    With the right savings, it's not that stressful. You just have to make sure your rate accommodates that idea you might be unemployed 2 or so months a year. Remember- especially in the USA - just because you have a full-time job doesn't mean they can't fire or make you redundant without much notice either...

  • @LisaTCanada

    @LisaTCanada

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@mfenn7325 Exactly.

  • @maryoleary5044

    @maryoleary5044

    Жыл бұрын

    @@Theaterfreak me too...I feel great to have achieved working in theatre, but the insecurity, constantly looking for the next job, the travelling and the cost trying to live in London..all gets way too much after 17 years. Leave on a high! Then say "Enough!" 😃🥰

  • @Vero.does.better
    @Vero.does.better Жыл бұрын

    What I noticed is that she was brushing off the conversation about the childhood and the divorce as if it was not important at all, yet when it came time to talk to her mum, the subject was so difficult and loaded that they could not do it on camera. The lies we tell ourselves just so that we don't need to face our fears and uncomfortable emotions

  • @turtleanton6539

    @turtleanton6539

    5 ай бұрын

    Indeed😮😮

  • @astrid8433
    @astrid84334 жыл бұрын

    ‘Designer coffee’ lol

  • @princesscatherine
    @princesscatherine4 жыл бұрын

    I can’t believe her boss fired her on her birthday that is literally awful

  • @kdlofty

    @kdlofty

    4 жыл бұрын

    I got fired 4 days before christmas eve, it wrecked my families christmas, new year, and my daughters birthday.

  • @SueP-D

    @SueP-D

    4 жыл бұрын

    kdlofty 😱. That sucks!

  • @kdlofty

    @kdlofty

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@SueP-D Tell me about it! I was in complete shock, and only came out of a severe depressive episode at the start of this week.

  • @SueP-D

    @SueP-D

    4 жыл бұрын

    kdlofty Oh man I’m so sorry that happened to you, but I’m stoked for you to start pulling out of your depression 🙌🏼. You’ll find a better job, I’m certain. Any company that would fire someone 4 DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS sounds like a bunch of a$$holes anyways. Go girl! I don’t know you but I’m rooting for you!!!!!💪🏼

  • @kdlofty

    @kdlofty

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@SueP-D Thanks hun. And i'm a man! Lol.

  • @Kiwiwanderer
    @Kiwiwanderer3 жыл бұрын

    I like her, she’s a genuinely decent human. In the interview with Ben, she showed her emotional immaturity & avoidance of looking at her childhood and past honestly. I hope she addressed her demons and has a stable income and a nice flat.

  • @pamcoulter6341
    @pamcoulter63414 жыл бұрын

    I'm Irish and when I lived in London it was a bit of a culture shock. My kitchen was tiny and the majority of my work colleagues didn't cook but ate out every day. To my shame, I followed suit for a while but childhood "training" made me feel guilty about it. I cook on average 6 days a week and "treat" myself to a takeaway on my "kitchen strike" day. I also had a cleaner but would clean before they arrived. It's easy to justify the lifestyle by saying "I'm too busy" but I wanted to make money and return home. Belt was tightened and I retired at 40. I think your mindset has a lot to do with it. If you want to live in the now or if you want to have a life plan.

  • @emmaphilo4049

    @emmaphilo4049

    4 жыл бұрын

    You retired at 40! Omg you've been clever! Well done!

  • @toniwilliamson94

    @toniwilliamson94

    4 жыл бұрын

    You spent money on a cleaner but already cleaned before they got there?

  • @pamcoulter6341

    @pamcoulter6341

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@toniwilliamson94 yes, crazy I know 👀

  • @CraftyWitch1990

    @CraftyWitch1990

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@toniwilliamson94 i do the same. Sounds daft but I half feel guilty for someone else dealing with my daily life's messes so I'll always give my house a onceover before my cleaner is due 😂

  • @adoptedscot

    @adoptedscot

    7 ай бұрын

    @@toniwilliamson94that would be me - the thought of someone coming into my home and cleaning up after me is horrifying, what would they think of the mess, and it’s not that messy either.

  • @nikkis9292
    @nikkis9292 Жыл бұрын

    She looks 45 , the debt has exaggerated her ageing process . 🙏

  • @stargazing3956
    @stargazing39564 жыл бұрын

    Jay is so annoying. “You’d think people living here would be 19”. She’s living in LONDON. Lots of people have to share to live there.

  • @Apollyon-sz9sn

    @Apollyon-sz9sn

    3 жыл бұрын

    You can share without the place looking like a pig stye

  • @stargazing3956

    @stargazing3956

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@Apollyon-sz9sn no, she’s getting at the fact they share, period. Not because of the ‘state’ of the place. Thicko.

  • @jenrich111

    @jenrich111

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@stargazing3956 you are rude and it was the messy dirty state of the kitchen as no one was looking after it.

  • @stargazing3956

    @stargazing3956

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@jenrich111 wrong

  • @ajayjackson7727

    @ajayjackson7727

    3 жыл бұрын

    yeah not all students are 19, what planet is Jay on?? lots of mature students in their 20s, 30s and 40s flatshare because they enjoy it and because it saves money. I don't like Jay, i find her rude.

  • @bethoneybee
    @bethoneybee4 жыл бұрын

    "THE THEME OF YOUR LIFE is lost security". Heavy, Benji. Not every habit is a consequence of unresolved childhood issues!

  • @evarose8677

    @evarose8677

    3 жыл бұрын

    I agree I found Benji a little bit boring with his childhood trauma.What about your childhood Benji, why you think you have a formula for everybody else life?Everybody can do your job with a life experience combined with compassion😉

  • @daCubanaqt

    @daCubanaqt

    7 ай бұрын

    @@evarose8677 The actual psychologist that comes in this show, Mark, is way better. Benjamin is not a psychologist or psychiatrist. He really shouldn’t have been giving people psychological advice.

  • @UrFaveMF
    @UrFaveMF4 жыл бұрын

    You guys have to stop criticizing the emotional correspondent. He is helping them do internal work. Whoever is saying, "Enough with the psychobabble, just stop spending money" Clearly would not have been able to help people as he has helped.

  • @normande1176

    @normande1176

    4 жыл бұрын

    So true ,I watched several episode and Benjanmin did some great work

  • @ericaenchanted

    @ericaenchanted

    3 жыл бұрын

    It's interesting to see people bash the psychologist in the comments. The second he told her that she and her mother don't really talk about the hard stuff, she became very defensive. I actually found it obnoxious to see her constantly nodding and interjecting "yeah...yeah...yeah" while he is speaking, as if she was only agreeing to get him to hush up, instead of just being quiet and focusing on what he has to say. He is clearly trying to help her address these issues, and they will not go away until she chooses to face them.

  • @5kgxistiouvockzit7r94

    @5kgxistiouvockzit7r94

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@ericaenchanted the thing is he is not a psychologist! Even in the show they introduce him as a psychological coach. Someone writes a book and boom they can help people? He did not study psychology at university- there is no proof of that anywhere. In fact he made all this money by being entrepreneur in a night-life business. On his website it says "he has received a training in psychotherapy", by European law anyone can call themself a psychotherapist- even the biggest quacks selling snake oil. He says so much about the childhood- sounding like Freud but Freud's work has been criticized and is not used in today psychology. That's why people criticize him. Participants of this show need help but maybe from an actual professional.

  • @marieboutin9054

    @marieboutin9054

    3 жыл бұрын

    I agree with you. At this stage, the woman who spends so much money needed help. These two persons are very helpful, just by coming to visit her, see her rooms , the flat overwhelmed with clothes and stuff. This is to make the woman see that she has really gone too far in her spending. It is not to humiliate her.

  • @CraftyWitch1990

    @CraftyWitch1990

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@5kgxistiouvockzit7r94 correct. The episode i watched before this one referred to him as "a self help author and entrepreneur". No mention of any qualifications at any point in the show and there's nothing listed on his website either. A reputable therapist would have their place of study and evidence of degrees/qualifications from that university listed on their website on an about me page. He has nothing.

  • @Apollyon-sz9sn
    @Apollyon-sz9sn3 жыл бұрын

    "Coffee is my treat" "shellfish is my treat" "champagne is my treat" "clothes are my treat"........

  • @jt8658

    @jt8658

    3 жыл бұрын

    😂🤣 classic

  • @babycakes8434
    @babycakes84347 ай бұрын

    For me it happened in reverse. I didn't feel financially secure as a child, due to my spendaholic father. So I was saving money as a child already, not wasting anything. I am glad that it happened for me that way. I don't want to feel like when I was a child ever again.

  • @ecohobo1021
    @ecohobo10214 жыл бұрын

    Benjamin has Hannibal lector mannerisms

  • @Lulu-ut9pv
    @Lulu-ut9pv3 жыл бұрын

    House sharing with 4 people is so difficult, I've done it once..... never again, it starts off good as your paying such a low rent but long term it's not worth it

  • @Theaterfreak

    @Theaterfreak

    3 жыл бұрын

    I lived in a five room flat share for four years. I now live alone and hope never to have to share a living space with anyone ever again. I’d rather have to foot the cost for the full rent and bills myself, than deal with what I had to for four years. My current upstairs neighbour is a piece of crap, but at least I don’t have to live with him.

  • @Lulu-ut9pv

    @Lulu-ut9pv

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@Theaterfreak caught one of my house mates having sex in my bed with her boy friend and all of my house mates thought I was over acting as I had thr only double sized bed.... Made me wonder what else people did in my room when I wasnt there, and they protested when I put a lock on

  • @Lulu-ut9pv

    @Lulu-ut9pv

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@Theaterfreak an extra girl was brought in later on and she sticky tried to become me as we were both the only foreign girls and even doed her hair brown ut was so freaky

  • @Brooklyn-rj3np

    @Brooklyn-rj3np

    Жыл бұрын

    Yeah agreed. I live alone.

  • @rebvanwinkelstein2578

    @rebvanwinkelstein2578

    Ай бұрын

    Disgusting​@@Lulu-ut9pv

  • @doodleschucky
    @doodleschucky7 ай бұрын

    I used to love this show. Any chance of bringing it back? Also would be good to see how these people got on/what their life is like now as it must be nearly 20 years since these episodes.

  • @SindyJ37
    @SindyJ374 жыл бұрын

    Anna looks so bright and happy at the end, Jay and Benjamin do a wonderful job with their clients

  • @kimberlypietrowski8386
    @kimberlypietrowski83863 жыл бұрын

    So happy for the lady that things worked out for her.

  • @Zero-gh9lp
    @Zero-gh9lp4 жыл бұрын

    sometimes I wonder if Jay Hunt makes more good psychological points and observations going around peoples houses than the psychologist she is with does.

  • @CraftyWitch1990

    @CraftyWitch1990

    3 жыл бұрын

    She's as qualified as he is to make psychological remarks so yes. He has zero psychology qualifications. He went through therapy as a client and then wrote a few self help books. That's the sum total of his "qualifications"

  • @daCubanaqt

    @daCubanaqt

    7 ай бұрын

    @@CraftyWitch1990 Omg, yes, finally someone else realizes Benjamin Fry has zero qualifications to give psychological advice! I believe he is a psychotherapist now, but back then he surely wasn’t!

  • @janetzhang7728
    @janetzhang77283 жыл бұрын

    I don’t think that bar would give Anna the birthday party discount if they were not filming.

  • @dawna4185
    @dawna41854 жыл бұрын

    ...i am a loner...it really pays to have no friends hahah

  • @emmaphilo4049
    @emmaphilo40494 жыл бұрын

    I like the way they talk negatively about flat sharing. It's an old show. Flat sharing is normal in London at any age guys. They are not too nice anyways.

  • @danielfinch362

    @danielfinch362

    4 жыл бұрын

    I was renting a room in a house for 8 years in London. The only thing that kept me from being embarrassed is I knew it was normal. Now I've moved to Kent and I'm earning £200 per week more so finally got my own home.

  • @Apollyon-sz9sn

    @Apollyon-sz9sn

    3 жыл бұрын

    You dont have to live in a pig sty though!

  • @ajayjackson7727

    @ajayjackson7727

    3 жыл бұрын

    exactly, lots of students flatshare in their 30s and 40s and are perfectly happy with communal living

  • @imalrockme

    @imalrockme

    7 ай бұрын

    Right! She was in her 20s, and doing as non millionaire 20yos do...

  • @EsterHorbach-it9tb

    @EsterHorbach-it9tb

    5 ай бұрын

    Totally agree. They're absolutely gasty. And it's an absolute no go taking her bank statement order. Are they're even real psychologists ?

  • @s6ac891
    @s6ac8913 жыл бұрын

    i wish they'd bring this back.

  • @summer_leaf823

    @summer_leaf823

    3 жыл бұрын

    how long ago is this from?

  • @abigailwathen2783

    @abigailwathen2783

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@summer_leaf823 around 15 years ago

  • @pumpkinpatch5
    @pumpkinpatch5 Жыл бұрын

    Imagine buying a flat in London for only £265 thousand pounds. 😂

  • @lorispain1
    @lorispain14 жыл бұрын

    Borough market looks amazing! Anna's mum is such a pretty lady.

  • @queenpig
    @queenpig4 жыл бұрын

    This program reminds me not to spend unless I have to. As I say to myself do I need it or do I want it? Can you get it cheap or free? Can you wait? If so then wait until you can.

  • @ellen5539
    @ellen55393 жыл бұрын

    Oh I would LOVE to get into her room and help her get it organised!! It makes me anxious!

  • @Sacheen81

    @Sacheen81

    2 жыл бұрын

    Then you should definitely come and have a go at my entire house! I'd be happy to pay you❤

  • @ellen5539

    @ellen5539

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@Sacheen81 if you live in NSW Australia I'll be there!! ;) hehe. Could do a skype consult if not lol. :-)

  • @sonaterese799
    @sonaterese79910 ай бұрын

    Anna proved to be a positicve thinker in the end and I wish her the best of luck

  • @asimb2455
    @asimb2455 Жыл бұрын

    TV series shot in 5th November 2004, I know because the financial Times newspaper she was holding, £15,000 in 2004 is £25,500 in August 2022. Shocking

  • @selfridgesforever4399
    @selfridgesforever43993 жыл бұрын

    Living in shared accommodation in your 30s is normal now, I even 40 year olds are in shared accommodation

  • @katemiller7874

    @katemiller7874

    Жыл бұрын

    No it’s not. Most people are married by then

  • @litadriana5858
    @litadriana58582 жыл бұрын

    She’s not even 30?? Wow. I thought she was in her early 40s at the least

  • @davidbown2707
    @davidbown27073 жыл бұрын

    That’s an insane amount. Just in coffee and seafood

  • @crazyloon202
    @crazyloon2024 жыл бұрын

    That flat would be worth like 600k nowadays

  • @steely6663
    @steely66634 жыл бұрын

    This prog is helping me stop buying CDs and DVDs/Blu rays. Also, got me in the mind frame to sell 99 per cent of them.

  • @j.gioherrera7326
    @j.gioherrera73264 жыл бұрын

    THIS IS THE BEST EPISODE SO FAR. I loved this episode, great job guys!!!!!!!!

  • @iknowright140
    @iknowright1404 жыл бұрын

    Watching these make me want to be as cheap as possible!! Savings goals!!

  • @turtleanton6539

    @turtleanton6539

    5 ай бұрын

    Yeee😅

  • @dobcsek
    @dobcsek4 жыл бұрын

    We need new episodes!

  • @sarah3796

    @sarah3796

    4 жыл бұрын

    dobcsek I wish they made these these days

  • @shimi-gami3859
    @shimi-gami38592 жыл бұрын

    Lots of gratitude to Jay and Benjamin for disecting the outer n the inner causes of such compulsive xpenditure to help everyone of us

  • @christinaburton9297
    @christinaburton92974 жыл бұрын

    I love this series. More please !

  • @donnahill214

    @donnahill214

    4 жыл бұрын

    More please

  • @velvetindigonight

    @velvetindigonight

    2 жыл бұрын

    They only did a couple of series and it was fifteen years ago! I loved it at the time!

  • @christinaburton9297

    @christinaburton9297

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@velvetindigonight Also Bank of Mum and Dad.

  • @magnoliabranca5149
    @magnoliabranca51494 жыл бұрын

    In my country we drink expresso. So me and colleagues received a money prize for our productivity we spent part of it in a coffee machine with capsules. Then I would buy my own capsules at the supermarket and would have a 10 cent coffee. This was our way to use the money prize we couldn’t take the money for ourselves so we bought the machine and each person had their own capsules. We even shared it with other teams.

  • @mocztenora

    @mocztenora

    7 ай бұрын

    Considering the fact how bad those used capsules are for the environment, going back to traditional coffee brewing is really a much better idea.

  • @anniejane255
    @anniejane2557 ай бұрын

    2:22 The weirdest fruit bowl i've ever seen! Two oranges, two limes, two nuts and two potatoes?! lollllll

  • @chrsitineadriaenssen6074
    @chrsitineadriaenssen60747 ай бұрын

    Interesting, I have the same disorder but I spent the most on art.

  • @ashotofmercury
    @ashotofmercury7 ай бұрын

    "...tighten the money belt and hope she doesn't BUCKLE" I see what you did there! 🤨🤣

  • @sarah3796
    @sarah37964 жыл бұрын

    im so proud of her cooking herself!

  • @Lulu-ut9pv
    @Lulu-ut9pv3 жыл бұрын

    15k is like the lowest debt ever on this series

  • @sunbeam9222
    @sunbeam92224 жыл бұрын

    I also used to spend 50 pounds a week on coffee ( at least!) totally stopped now and plan to do so all year so saving 2500. Been a month and really appreciating the cut so far cos I know it's more cash in my pocket for meaningful stuff. I can have coffee at home, make it at work or transport it with me.

  • @turtleanton6539

    @turtleanton6539

    5 ай бұрын

    Yes

  • @NLR759
    @NLR7598 ай бұрын

    Buying stuff gives you a temporary dopamine hit, so you feel good at first. That’s why it’s an addictive habit.

  • @tomkee8019
    @tomkee80194 жыл бұрын

    Not good, buy what you can afford to pay cash for. But she is young and as she gets older she might realise that her hard work isnt rewarded if she wastes the money that she sacrifices her time working for.

  • @Helga-fe5xl
    @Helga-fe5xl4 жыл бұрын

    One of their more successful episodes 👏👏👏

  • @MetroidMan90
    @MetroidMan90 Жыл бұрын

    She’s 29!? Looks 40

  • @leasofie1171
    @leasofie11714 жыл бұрын

    The most accessorized homeless in the world😂 ..

  • @twatquat3322

    @twatquat3322

    3 жыл бұрын

    Good one!😀

  • @lizziejacobdennison5268
    @lizziejacobdennison52684 жыл бұрын

    Designer coffee?! I never call take-out coffee this! Does anyone?

  • @Tina06019

    @Tina06019

    4 жыл бұрын

    Lizzie Arthur Not me.

  • @chikac8717

    @chikac8717

    4 жыл бұрын

    Nope

  • @TheFiown

    @TheFiown

    4 жыл бұрын

    Yes someone designed the cup, the coffee is still just beans and water whatever the cup ! Starmucks=biggest swindle ever !!

  • @UweHeiligheid

    @UweHeiligheid

    4 жыл бұрын

    I will do from now on haha

  • @areyouserious3092

    @areyouserious3092

    4 жыл бұрын

    No it's not if you can afford to spend £4 five times a day but to most normal people yes this is very much designer coffee.

  • @williamkimmer6221
    @williamkimmer62214 жыл бұрын

    Seems like her life has made a change for the Good. I'm Happy for her. Keep it up. 👍👍

  • @matts4893
    @matts48932 жыл бұрын

    The problem is credit cards.

  • @sonohrina2012
    @sonohrina20124 жыл бұрын

    My parents were good with money at the beginning but as they lost trust they kept separate finances and that’s when the money trouble started cuz they didn’t want to work together anymore. My dad felt like he had take care of everything and my mom felt like she could spent all her money on stuff instead of both working together and saving together. One of my brothers has those 2 exact ideas for money and I decided to educate myself and as much as I try to help him he doesn’t care for the future

  • @turtleanton6539

    @turtleanton6539

    5 ай бұрын

    Indeed😮😮

  • @haakmaaraan6075
    @haakmaaraan60754 жыл бұрын

    00:17 squirrel!

  • @emmavirgiliani5871

    @emmavirgiliani5871

    3 жыл бұрын

    Thank god I'm not the only one who saw it

  • @wolftears13

    @wolftears13

    3 жыл бұрын

    Initially I thought it was a rat 🤣

  • @blueskittle1421

    @blueskittle1421

    3 жыл бұрын

    😃🐿

  • @AllthePrettyPurses
    @AllthePrettyPurses3 жыл бұрын

    I've never understood why people feel like if they spend cash, they notice how much they're spending vs. when putting it on a credit card, they don't realize. When you pay cash a little at a time, you never think about how it's adding up, whereas when you put everything on a card, every time you you check your balance you can see what it's adding up to -- plus, you can get alerts when you've spent certain amounts, and at the end you can see exactly where your money is going. If you use them responsibly, credit cards are a much better way to keep track of your finances.

  • @celinejenni4140

    @celinejenni4140

    3 жыл бұрын

    In the time this was filmed online banking was not really a thing so you only saw your statements at the end of the month when you got the letter from the bank

  • @AllthePrettyPurses

    @AllthePrettyPurses

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@celinejenni4140 Actually, I don't know when this episode was filmed, but the series didn't start until 2005. Online banking was really well established by that point.

  • @CraftyWitch1990

    @CraftyWitch1990

    3 жыл бұрын

    That only works if you bother to check your online accounts on a regular basis. People that have issues with spending don't do that. It's easier to bury their heads in the sand and pretend everything will be fine. If they don't have access to the cards, but instead have a limited amount if physical cash, then they can see that amount dwindling and it might make them think twice

  • @ruthkief8962

    @ruthkief8962

    2 жыл бұрын

    Not everyone is as OCD as you!;)

  • @daCubanaqt

    @daCubanaqt

    7 ай бұрын

    @alltheprettypurses I don’t believe the difference between credit cards vs cash is tracking. I think there is something psychological about physically handing over cash because it makes the transaction more real, if that makes sense? With a credit card, you are paying any and every amount with the same card. With cash, you have to count it out, make sure you have enough, you start to think if the item is worth the money in your hand, and if you actually need it.

  • @musicfan2511
    @musicfan25114 жыл бұрын

    These are great, please can you upload some more full episodes 🙏🏻

  • @Spendaholics

    @Spendaholics

    4 жыл бұрын

    Full episode uploaded every Saturday, until then check out the Full Episode Playlist: kzread.info/head/PLmnDlPe430RLy8Gj3Ob2MxE8C1E8WC6HW

  • @Elizabeth-if7pw
    @Elizabeth-if7pw4 жыл бұрын

    The psychologist was super pushy about her family "issues" i hope she is doing well now.

  • @Mark.Watson

    @Mark.Watson

    4 жыл бұрын

    Elizabeth Baker She didn’t want to listen. She kept saying she and her mom talk about the divorce all the time and it turns out they hadn’t at a deeper level. He was right.

  • @daCubanaqt

    @daCubanaqt

    7 ай бұрын

    Benjamin Fry was not a psychologist or psychiatrist at this time. He is very pushy and it feels like he puts his ideas on the participants. He asks leading questions instead of letting the person talk and talks over them. A real therapist would not do that. I think he’s a psychotherapist now, but he had zero qualifications at the time this show taped to be giving people psychological advice. Every time he talks I cringe.

  • @MCLamb1984
    @MCLamb1984 Жыл бұрын

    I’m mostly shocked at how she’s under 30. Would have sworn she was 40+

  • @imalrockme

    @imalrockme

    7 ай бұрын

    I felt the same, too.

  • @AlexAtEight
    @AlexAtEight7 ай бұрын

    Absolutely loved this show back in the day - along with 'Would Like to Meet' that Jay Hunt was also on. I really like their 'tough love' approach. Can't imagine what it would be like if made now, but I know I wouldn't watch it 😅

  • @crowningglory6654
    @crowningglory66546 ай бұрын

    Thought this was recent until I saw her holding a cellular phone.

  • @FITZY1995
    @FITZY19956 ай бұрын

    Does anyone else find it unbelievable she's only 30?

  • @rebvanwinkelstein2578

    @rebvanwinkelstein2578

    Ай бұрын

    Maybe she was ashamed to say that she lives like this in her 40🤷🏻‍♀️🤔🙂

  • @Youtuber5775-
    @Youtuber5775-9 ай бұрын

    I went to work with two different colors of shoes on my feet and everyone was laughing and saying why? One was black and the other was dark blue and I couldn’t tell the difference between them. It was when they said the heels were a different height I laughed so hard at myself. 😂

  • @albin2232
    @albin22329 ай бұрын

    Work is the curse of the interest paying classes.

  • @sharonh2991
    @sharonh29914 жыл бұрын

    It’s exciting to work toward a goal, a dream. I’d love to see how she’s doing a year or two from now and hope she’s able to purchase her first place.

  • @estherdarling6509

    @estherdarling6509

    4 жыл бұрын

    Sharon H This was filmed like, 15 years ago. I hope she got her house! It would be great if the people on the show could look it up and leave a comment about how things turned out😩

  • @Roostarful
    @Roostarful Жыл бұрын

    I respect what Benjamin is tryna do but my god I wish he’d let people answer his questions rather than answering for them so he can manipulate the answer he wants!!

  • @fayekelly7713
    @fayekelly77133 жыл бұрын

    She is me. I feel attacked.

  • @Aristaifly
    @Aristaifly3 жыл бұрын

    I don't like this psychologist guy. I started to watch couple of these videos and i cannot continue when he speaks.

  • @IamGilgamesh666
    @IamGilgamesh6664 жыл бұрын

    I wonder if this show caused a lot of harm. The pschologist is clearly being dramatic for tv and, unless he is trained and spends a lot of tine with them behin camera, is worthless. Then the lady gives quite poor budgeting advice. No talk of loan consolidation to lower interest rates, no practical advice on reducing the cost of the necessities. Also, when they give figures of "amount of debt", they are either discussing the principle or the total (assuming fixed interest rates). If it's the principle, then the actual debt is much higher. But if it's the total, then they should be giving advice on how to increase income to pay back quicker to lower the total amount outstanding. With all this crappy advice, if the person believed they would be fine after the show, it could have been disastrous for them.

  • @notthatcreativewithnames

    @notthatcreativewithnames

    4 жыл бұрын

    I think it should be made clear that this show was from 15 YEARS AGO. A lot of things have changed over that time period. This means some "suggestions" need to be taken with a big pinch of salt, while some of these are probably obsolete.

  • @munhl

    @munhl

    3 жыл бұрын

    Any personal finance expert will tell you consolidation loans rarely work, as people just run up their credit card bills again and end up in twice as much debt, that's why banks invented those loans, to help themselves to more of your money.

  • @Kiwiwanderer

    @Kiwiwanderer

    3 жыл бұрын

    IamGilgamesh666 the psychologist is extremely talented and knows what he’s talking about. I work in a disability claims team and our psychologists do a very similar thing , helping getting severely depressed , injured and ill patients back into daily functional life. He starts the journey but eveyone needs to take responsibility for saving themselves - their own journey and reflection.

  • @toniacampbell6384

    @toniacampbell6384

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@munhl > consolidation loans rarely work, as people just run up their credit card bills again and end up in twice as much debt. Truth! Watching debt do us part, anytime the couple got a consolidation loan, they never cancelled the credit cards and just maxed them out again.

  • @Theaterfreak

    @Theaterfreak

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@notthatcreativewithnames the big one was the segment about her salary meaning she could eventually buy a flat for £260k. In London! With a garden!

  • @PinkDiamond7777777
    @PinkDiamond77777778 ай бұрын

    Is it subconsciously because I saw a lot of these shows growing up that these things are basics for me?

  • @donnahill214
    @donnahill2144 жыл бұрын

    More please

  • @victoriaollier2345
    @victoriaollier23457 ай бұрын

    I keep forgetting Topshop no longer exists 😂

  • @femme434
    @femme4344 жыл бұрын

    Aahhh the era before skinny jeans

  • @notyouraccount7497

    @notyouraccount7497

    3 жыл бұрын

    Or is it the era after skinny jeans...lol the concept of tight pants has cycled since the 1800s for men and early 1910s for woman. Skinny jeans have been a thing in the 80s and 90s as well for both, depending on where you lived, and when fashion week is a motivator.

  • @lonahansen4990
    @lonahansen49904 жыл бұрын

    Having a so called psychological coach involved means that it's mandatory to find a childhood crisis and engage in psycho babble no matter what the person's history is.

  • @soomysaleem351

    @soomysaleem351

    4 жыл бұрын

    Seriously you comment phyco babble in every post I'm interested to understand what makes you state that. :)

  • @df-nk6gd

    @df-nk6gd

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@soomysaleem351 her photo is of a person possibly of an older generation, if its of her a large majority believe that therapy is nonsense. They also believe is shoving many things under a rug.....some families go so far as to stuff sexual assaults, molestation, rape, extreme abuse.....right into that skeleton closet under lock and key....and pretend it never happened. Believing that if they dont talk about it, it'll go away. When in reality whoever it did happen to is likely suffering internally greatly, but silently, because that generation raised them to keep their lips shut and just move on. There is no moving on without resolution, confrontation, working through it. So my best educated guess, and no I'm not a psychologist or psychiatrist, I've only experienced it in my personal life and many, many friends and family is that Lona has those ideals, well its quite obvious she doesn't believe in therapy or any technique, that its all unnecessary. She used words like "so called" brings up it being "mandatory ", and calls it "psycho babble". She's stuck in her ways, which is sad especially if someone near to her has unresolved conflict because those phrases straight away say to me she won't even entertain discussing the past. It also has a hint of defensiveness to it, meaning she knows there are.....and that scares me considering its not always as easy as just a divorce, it could be something much worse. My father had affairs his entire marriage with my mom....shes his 2nd wife, he's still married to his 3rd that he left my mom for. He left us on Christmas when I was 15......and didn't look back. It wasn't until I was 20 that we started speaking again. Even when he was home as a child he wasn't really there physically or emotionally. At 20, he still wasn't ready to talk about things and it did damage me in ways, it definitely damaged my sister who is in her middle 30s and has never found closure & unfortunately carried the same habits into her own relationships, marriage & raising of her kids. Its a precarious situation. I'm 40, for me the therapy, confronting those obstacles, and using different types of techniques....and then the big one, sitting down with those whom you love and talking about the elephant in the room. Well it released for me a huge weight I'd been carrying, and that family member of whom is likely the same generational age as Lona was uncomfortable but came around. Some won't get that closure. My father and I sitting down, and directly speaking about the choices he made, how he had disregard for what it did to us....well there was a lot. There were apologies etc. But still his wife currently controls his life, she had children from 3 prior marriages and my dad is more involved with her kids and those grandchildren than he is his biological grandkids. We live in the same small city. But my therapy individually allowed me to make peace within myself and move forward. All I'll say after that is this, Lona...the truth will always come out. Whether its while we are living and can do something about it, having accountability and accepting our rights and wrongs.....or after we pass and leaving loved ones with a pain and desire for answers they will never get then. I know which I couldn't stand to leave my family with.

  • @ironsnowflake1076

    @ironsnowflake1076

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@df-nk6gd I am from the American south...they call it "keeping up appearances" here...what it should be called is "keeping toxic secrets" because that is *exactly* what it is...I wish you the very best, and hope for healing in your sister's life as well 💓

  • @dude988

    @dude988

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@df-nk6gd tldr. But Lona just said, that in every show they have an expert that will find a childhood trauma that explains why they have a certain problem. It's never 'He likes to eat, she likes to spend money, they like their houses clean.' It always HAS to be something dramatic.

  • @ghosto.o1704

    @ghosto.o1704

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@df-nk6gd I think youre over analysing just a wee bit. Im Pretty sure what OP means is that the therapist is possibly making connections that aren't there because it's a part of the formula of the show to deal with the psychological side behind unhindered spending from the angle of dissecting their childhood. He always seems to go for the childhood when what could've triggered this behaviour might have nothing to do with childhood but could instead be a more recent event.

  • @kiyoshibelluscio
    @kiyoshibelluscio3 жыл бұрын

    Nice to see a happy ending!

  • @rufdymond
    @rufdymond4 жыл бұрын

    This is a lot of money to be in debt....but these programs are almost 20 years old and it was even more money then.

  • @_londonsunshine6181

    @_londonsunshine6181

    4 жыл бұрын

    rufdymond I’ll be honest it would probably be worse now..... interest rates are high and items cost more!!!!

  • @katemiller7874

    @katemiller7874

    Жыл бұрын

    This is nothing. We spend that much on vacation

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