✨ Go to betterhelp.com/cinzia for 10% off your first month of therapy with BetterHelp and get matched with a therapist who will listen and help #advert

@MargaretHarmer

4 ай бұрын

It's a really good service except they pay their therapists really badly.

@cillianennis9921

4 ай бұрын

@@MargaretHarmer What you talking about if you look up stuff about them you'll see they are a terrible service. this happened five years ago again.

@MissAdalia1991

4 ай бұрын

@@MargaretHarmer and they sell their patients data to advertisers

@cassinipanini

3 ай бұрын

Cinzia, BH is a bad company for multiple reasons. I hope that you can vet your sponsors more closely moving forward. Unfortuantely I wont remained subbed in order to see it. I wish you the best :[

A tangential anecdote - to amuse and reiterate to have faith in yourself. I had to take comprehensive qualifying exams to get my PhD (this was during the Jurassic Era). I was told I failed them, so I asked to look at where I went wrong ... I noticed that they had simply added up the scores incorrectly. So, yes, I had easily passed (and they failed basic grade school arithmetic).

@robgau2501

4 ай бұрын

Wow. That's ridiculous. And frightening.

@Lu-li1ei

4 ай бұрын

They mess up like that all the time. In my last exam my professor failed to understand a single matrix product, if I didn't ask to see my exam I would have gotten a 2 instead of the 8 I ended up with.

@nicole_holding

4 ай бұрын

This also happened to a friend of mine in a final year undergrad exam.

I was always an academic/intellectual type, devoured books from an early age, etc. But I also had undiagnosed ADHD. I had a high GPA in high school, but I completely crashed out of university as an undergrad. Twice! I was smart, but had no idea how to study effectively for subjects in which I had no interest. I struggled in poverty while doing it, often not knowing where my next meal was coming from and barely keeping a roof over my head. I also had ailing parents and my own mental and physical health struggles. But despite all the setbacks, I kept going back and eventually finished a degree (which took twelve years, including the breaks), and then an MA, and then a PhD, though the PhD also took me more than twice as long as most people take to complete it. But now I've got a faculty job at a university, and I find that having crashed out so much has given me a lot of compassion for students and colleagues. It also helped me see my capacity for resilience, even when I was feeling like a failure. I found my people in academia-kind, wonderful, incredibly smart people. And honestly, I think experiencing real failure is a significant asset in teaching. Instructors who have never experienced that kind of failure sometimes have a harder time relating to the very real struggles their students and colleagues have. We need varieties of experience and varieties of thinkers and scholars with different approaches and ways of approaching things in the academy and in all levels of education. It's a real asset, not a liability. Your history, your life experience, whatever road brought you to this place, it is part of what informs your unique perspective, and that's a valuable thing, sometimes in ways you won't realize until later.

@mjschreiner

4 ай бұрын

Fellow ADHD-er who struggled a lot in undergrad here - it also took me 12 years with breaks! But I finished with two degrees and academic distinction, and am now completing my MA at a leading university. I second the sentiment that there is no one correct route, and our individual experiences make for a better collective environment.

@guyafrica7894

4 ай бұрын

I've been going through something painfully similar to your story,I'm yet to go back to finish my degree

@flibbertygibbette

3 ай бұрын

@@guyafrica7894 I wish you all the support you need to accomplish all you want to accomplish!

As an educator who always did well in school and has a masters from a fancy school, I deeply believe that having people who struggled in school in education in particular is deeply important and so many of the best educators I know were mediocre students. We can never improve things for kids if we allow the system that serves them to be made up entirely of people the system already worked for.

"It's impressive how far my stubborn persistence can override the natural order of things." YES! - this is the way

The one thing I hands down miss most about being at uni is having access to all these smart, super highly educated people, who are passionate about their fields of expertise and love telling you everything about it …

"Our greatest strength is not in never falling, but how we pick ourselves up" Confucius

@panikiczcock2891

4 ай бұрын

Apparently it was Oliver Goldsmith who said it. But a great quote nontheless.

@tenebrousoul9368

4 ай бұрын

@@panikiczcock2891 thank you. I feel bad, now. I was given a shirt with that quote, attributed to Confucius, and I was too lazy to check. I apologize for inadvertently lying.

@panikiczcock2891

4 ай бұрын

@@tenebrousoul9368 No problem, I just thought I'd share the knowledge 😅

@tenebrousoul9368

4 ай бұрын

@@panikiczcock2891 oh, it's much appreciated, friend

After 10 years of research and writing, I finished my doctorate 3 years ago, then published a book and wrote another 5 articles since. Yet, I still suffer from the Imposter Syndrome although I have seen over and over how many of my older colleagues are just improvising much of the time or flat out faking expertise and even have full blown crises of confidence in face of someone new and seemingly more accomplished. I don't think the Imposter Syndrome truly ever subsides, it just gets triggered less and less how you get on in your academic career and less people actually question your knowledge and insight.

@sambailie4773

4 ай бұрын

Wow, you've done incredibly well....if you have imposter syndrome....what chance has everyone else! God bless, you are clearly a true academic xx

I am 45 and for the first time in more than 15 years I am studying again this year and I am petrified beyond all sense and reason. I'm sorry feel bad at the moment.

"Stubborn persistence"- my new motto in life!

I so relate to your experiences. Coasted and then left high school, crap jobs, then decided I needed more. GED (high school equivalent). Then "College." I got in. Amazed myself. I was also a first-generation student in my family. No one thought I would succeed. I did, but it was hard. After much stumbling on my journey, I became a writer (though it's not my day job.) But I am a published author with four fantasy novels. Two more coming this year. I am with small presses for now, but not self-published). As a young girl I never thought I would achieve this.

@EdDale44135

4 ай бұрын

Congratulations on your success as an author!

I love how transparent you are in sharing your journey.

You really have the gift of the gab. "Tumbled and slogged through a boggish environment and choking on the bile of my own intellectual destitution" - I cracked up laughing at this. You do have a way with words. I am currently doing a PhD and am one of those academic nerdy types but do have to work hard to do well and my PhD supervisor confessed she had to do the same and was constantly hammered by her supervisor in America and she is now a top notch historian. I work as a tutor to first year undergrads and I find those who achieved high marks in their final year at high school (in Australia) do not necessarily have the ability to think outside the box. Getting high marks does not mean the person is going to make a good medical doctor, teacher, engineer. It is the ability to think laterally and work through problems rather than memorisation that is the key. A lot of these students went to independent schools and were spoon fed got the high marks to get into the course they wanted but were outperformed by students who went to state schools who were not spoon fed.

Thank you for continuing to share failure. In an environment where everyone seems so eager to only show their wins it is so easy to feel bad about yourself when you fail, while failing and struggeling is actually unavoidable. We all face challenges, some make it look easier than others, but normalising failure is so valuable and improtant. Thank you ❤

Doing my undergrad after having to take years off due to chronic illness and every time I write an essay for the week or so that I write it, I have insane imposter syndrome and I doubt EVERYTHING. This is so helpful, thank you! Will keep this tabbed to go back to!!

You win or you learn. We're with ya!

"Hallowe'en is all year 'round for me." Yes! Keep the spirit of Hallowe'en throughout the year.

The struggle is real. There is so much that needs to be considered regarding performance from individual biology, psychology and environent as well as so many other things. Stress alone can wreck someone emotionally, physically and psychologically. I'm sure we have all seen someone capable and able not live up to their abilities and capabilities in a variety of situations for different reasons. I think the trick is to let go, enjoy the experience and live in the moment without focusing on the ultimate outcome. Of course, it is much easier to say that when outside of things and can be hard to actually practice when it's personal. Good luck and don't worry too much. Enjoy all of the experiences pursuing this path gives.

I remember when I got into my MFA graduate program, all the professors knew the kind of crowd they were dealing with. So they always made a point to remind us that we were in this program because all the professors, every single one of them, believed in our work, and that we were good writers who had potential. The whole program was full of kind, supportive people, and that was so integral to my time there, and every graduate program should continually remind their students of their potential.

@CinziaDuBois - I really appreciate your comments and videos (and the way you try to help people navigate this world). I think one trouble we have in academia is that we have let the stereotype of the bookworm dictate how we're viewed even by aspiring academics. I'm 42, an American (of Chinese descent) who ended up doing ancient history (Roman history and epigraphy) in London after undergrad at a rural American state university. I was bright but not always the brightest (maybe a 2:1 to low first in the UK system and a 88-90% type student in the US system) so it always made me feel out of place in postgraduate training and we didn't really have all this conversation going on then. I'm glad that we do now and that people like you, colleagues like you, are addressing it. Imposter syndrom was a major thing and, though we knew of it when I finished my doctorate (16 years ago when I earned mine) people were still, at times, not talking about it as openly as we do now. I think this caused a lot of brain drain as we lost people who otherwise would have been not just excellent academics but excellent teachers and researchers (sometimes the three are not always mutually inclusive!). Even up to the end, as I headed into my viva voce, I kept thinking I wasn't worthy of a doctorate even though it was clear I wouldn't have made it to the end of the 3 years of my self-funded degree unless my doctoral supervisor and internal reviewers thought I was viable. I was lucky enough to have an excellent supervisor and supportive department but even with that I still doubted myself and there are many others who were/are not that lucky especially in a system that increasingly is under pressure to produce. That self-doubt, I think, never leaves you. Especially for those of us who finished in 2008-2010 as the economy collapsed and many of us ended up not getting jobs in academia (I am one of the lucky ones, working as an adjunct professor/non-permanent teaching staff) and that amplified imposter syndrome for some and I think conversations, like this video, are important. In any event, thank you for this (I was, sadly, too loquacious and perhaps off-topic in the run-up to all this!). The bottom line, I suppose, is thank you so much!

I was a mediocre pupil and a mediocre student. Now I am probably a mediocre PhD student. I never failed anything but I also never excelled. I am just very persistent I guess.

Your curiosity, fascination with learning, and love for sharing cool stuff you've learned about are what make your channel such a delight.

When I was pursuing my master's degree, I was extremely stressed. When I went to see my advisor to discuss how worried I was about my upcoming compreshesive exams, he laughed and said, "Have you seen some of the people that have already gotten their master's?! You have nothing to worry about!!"

I loved this video, as someone who straddles the gap between being very academically successful but also having had to resit a lot of exams and resit her entire undergrad dissertation. I've failed in so many ways and I was, and still am, ashamed of those failures, but I also did really well on paper so I struggle to really talk about how I feel like I failed because I do still have a First once all is said and done. It's really nice to see a fellow classicist who has also had a bit of a rough ride through academia and still come out on the other side.

"No one likes the toss-pots" should go on a mug or something. Thank you for this video, it was very helpful!

Thank you for sharing your experience. I did well enough to eventually do a PhD, working in regular admin jobs and getting scholarships. As a single mother it was hard, but I loved the studies. It wasn't until finally completing my PhD that it all came crashing down. The jobs I went for kept saying I hadn't worked for three years, while I did my PhD! As if it was a holiday. The number of people who literally told me a PhD meant nothing astounded me. I had close to a nervous breakdown. The fellowship I was told would be offered didn't happen. The point is that while I am proud of my academic achievements it has not enabled me to progress into a career. It has been a few years now, and I am only just recovering. Your honesty about such journeys has helped me. All the best to you and anyone embarking on further studies. X

Being a neurodivergent gifted kid burnout, I cruised through school and then got to uni and fell into a deep deep hole. I had to battle my own mediocrity at 18 instead of earlier and it's left me with little discipline or dedication to succeed. My ADHD has caught up with me and at this point, your dedication and discipline would be much more useful to me than all the natural intelligence in the world. You are better than me in many ways but mainly because you chose this and pursued it. I was thrown into it by virtue of being naturally academically inclined. Many of these people that act pretentious only do so because they have nothing else. The only thing I have ever felt gives me worth is my academic ability and I am otherwise an empty shell of a person. Be well rounded and love what you do, that's the most important thing. Eventually all those people will be forced to develop a personality.

You are so articulate it is hard to believe you could doubt yourself and your ability but imposter syndrome is a beast.

The dedication you have toward developing your learning is highly commendable - well done. My issues related to University are different to yours and I lack the dedication that you have to work through them. I manage OK but what I find really fascinating about you is how you have managed to be so dedicated to improve. That's impressive.

This is really helpful to me. I'm studying pharmacology. I don't have a good memory anymore and I'm not extroverted.

Me too..... On so many of the issues you raised. I grew up in poverty but had so much love from my mother....i think that less than mindset cripples those from poorer households a lot. Im very grateful i got an hons degree...first in my whole fam x

I found your channel by chance and honestly it's been so amazing seeing you talk about this. I'm in the final stages of my PhD and it has been the hardest thing I've ever done. The mental toll is like nothing I've ever experienced. It's so encouraging to see I'm not alone in feeling like this. I was one of those kids that did well at school, got the grades, and people thought I was smart, but it's such a double edged sword. Your achievements don't feel like achievements anymore, it just feels like you're meeting expectations. I can't take any joy from someone telling me I've done a good job because at this point it's just a relief that they don't hate it 😅 I feel like we all go into this trying to prove something to ourselves but we never really anticipate what that journey is going to be. Thank you so much for giving a voice to this!

Thank you so much for sharing this with us Cinzia! 🙆‍♀️

Great video that was inspiring. Thanks for sharing your struggles.

Love this vid! So inspiring. All your old jobs sound so interesting too!

Once again, you have honestly helped me so much and I cannot thank you enough

This meant so much to me. Thank you.

this video really gives a lovely insight. I've pretty much always been one of those students able to coast by on intelligence to some extent (at least when it comes to essays and written work, multiple choice is a different matter, as are the subjects that never really interested me), or at least with reading and my sheer enjoyment for learning. Yet, since starting my MA I've struggled. Not with the courses, those have been wonderful, but for the first time i'm struggling with papers, and I'm having to perpetually re-do work. And in some ways, it's sucked, but in others I'm glad it's happened because it goes to show that not passing at your first attempt isn't going to end the world, things keep on spinning. And whenever I do start to doubt if I'm in the right place, and doing the right thing, I remind myself that even if I'm not testing well, I'm able to talk along and keep up in class, and that I can walk into those classrooms and feel like all is right and enjoy my being there and learning.

This was wonderful to hear. I've always been good at tests, I was a voracious reader, and I coasted through middle and high school with mostly As. I knew I wasn't Ivy material, but I really wanted to go to a more selective school. My extracurricular profile was lackluster, though, and I didn't get into any of my top schools and ended up going to a university that I don't really like. To make things worse, one of my best friends who didn't care that much about school got into her dream college. I just completed my first semester and I got the worst grades I've ever gotten in my life. I don't like my major, and I don't like my school, but I worry my poor grades are going to keep me from transferring somewhere else. I feel very stuck and it's hard not to feel stupid when some of my high school friends talk about their experiences at top schools. It's refreshing to hear the perspective of someone who didn't have a perfect academic career and still ended up accomplished and fulfilled. This gave me a lot of hope

I got mediocre graves at a-level, failed my first essay at undergrad, finally found subjects I could connect with. Eventually I got a 2.1 at undergrad, MA with distinction, and just passed my PhD, but because I have failed my maths GCSE I have massive imposter syndrome. I’m extremely lucky to have found my subject, but it’s still hard to reconcile past failures.

This is extremely comforting to hear as someone who's pretty much failed all of school and barely got by my first two years of college before switching to theater art. I've never been the academic type and always felt somewhat lesser than those who were, but I've also learned my own ability isn't lesser, just different. A lot of my extremely intellectual friends tell have told me they wish they could get on stage like I could, and then I tell them I could make sense of numbers like them. We still have plenty of value even if we suck at school.

I have followed a similar path to yours and I find your perspective here very refreshing. Thank you!

Your voice is so important. I can't tell you the comfort you bring me. I'm in the last year of what has come to be a 9 year undergrad, and I'm still struggling, but my God, has my own stubborness carried me far.

Cinzia - you are a marvel! I watched this video nodding along to every one of the points you made. Its a real gift to know that I'm not alone, and you've really given my anxiety and imposter syndrome a good kicking with this viand others. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Your honesty, openness and enthusiastic candour is a joy, and I cant tell you how much i love your work

It's extremely validating to hear another person feel like this. You continue to be an inspiration ❤️🎭

Thank you ❣️ Wonderful information ❣️

I have so many life experiences in common with you. I really appreciate your videos talking about your life your studies and your approach to romantic relationships, etc. I love hearing from someone so similar to me! thanks very much darling!!

I love that you're talking about this. I didn't think I was "inclined" to be a STEM major but it turns out that a majority of STEM majors still doubt if they're meant to be in their field. We all help each other out & share resources, especially if we're an underrepresented group within STEM. A handful of my professors as well, some who hold PhD's, have helped me out so much & have nurtured my curiosity for my field. As a community college student, I felt incredibly lucky to have professors of such great caliber without having to break the bank just yet (hoping to get my Master's in the future). Just as Cinzia mentions towards the end of her video, you want to work with people that will help & guide you, not people that will ridicule you or put you down for not knowing something already. A note for imposter syndrome: I talked to my therapist about how I felt I was just getting lucky throughout my courses & that now I would finally start failing & realize I wasn't meant for STEM (beginner's chem was a particularly hard class for me) & she told me that next time I felt like that, that I should look at the evidence & see if it backs up my claim (not being a good student). That little piece of advice has served me well & continues to serve me as I'll be transferring in the fall of 2025. If you read this far, thank you for doing so, & I wish you all well on your academic journeys.

There is book smarts, there is life smarts, intelligence is being able to balance and apply both. At the end life is an adventure but we never get out of it alive. Enjoy the journey and the friends you meet along the wat.

Absolutely loved this (bar the you being too hard on yourself- it was relatable but uncomfortable to watch)👏 I didn't go to university until I was 23, for a multitude of reasons. I was a mess of a human being when I was young. I had serious physical health issues and mental health issues and I was unstimulated by school. I was a chronic truant, and far more interested in drugs and music and my own pursuits than in school. I made an absolute hash of my exams and missed my uni conditional. I then tried FE college the next year and missed another conditional. I then tried again and didn't get any offers, and then finally got into uni through the backdoor by re-sitting my exams from school after they had lapsed through a programme for mature students whereby you get an automatic conditional. I found university utterly daunting. As I had tried and failed to get accepted multiple times, I was overjoyed to finally be going but also terrified that I was going to end up embarrassing myself. This was compounded for me by my social class. Both parents on benefits when I started uni, coal miner grandfather, no-one in my family had even stayed on to 6th year in school, never mind went to uni. I knew people who had gone to uni but I had no inherited cultural capital at all. When it came to postgrad, I was lucky enough to get into a fancy uni. They sent out a brochure to my uni when I was in 3rd year and I decided to have a pop at it. I was so convinced that it was beyond me that I never told anyone I had applied. My friends and family found out I had applied when I was telling them I had been accepted. Although I was excited and raring to go, I was pretty terrified. I went to my hometown uni because of my health issues (couldn't live off the loan alone and not well enough to work and study so I stayed at home) so it was my first time moving away and the imposter syndrome was intense. What I discovered when I was there is that a lot of students at top universities are not as smart as you think they will be, nor are they all that intellectual. A lot of them are privileged people who understand professional discipline. They are driven and ambitious, they network, they are confident. and they have good soft skills (especially writing- all of my contemporaries write much, much better than I do). However, they are not interested in ideas. They are not interested in fields outside of theirs. Nor are they interested in sub-fields in their own field outside of theirs. They have no interest in the arts. They are people chasing a middle-class profession who have the means and access to achieve it and are playing a game within a system that they know how to work within. I got a good look at the upper echelons of the next generation of academics and the thing that defines most of them was that they are professional researchers rather than intellectuals. They learn research methods and techniques and then just go do them. Few of them have a scholarly or intellectual mission or identity. I met some extremely talented people, but they were not the mode. The mode was privileged people making their way in a profession. Research was to them what trowels and cement are to a bricklayer. It wasn't about the ideas, causes, or living a life of the mind at all. Stellar CVs and grades or not. All of this is a longwinded way of me agreeing with you. When you see behind the curtain, you actually feel a lot better. I mean, I will likely never get anywhere in academia but at least I know that isn't necessarily because I am deficient. Moreover, although I often had a fraught relationship with my supervisor who was unconstructively brutal, I met people, students and faculty alike, who had excellent values and who treat people and their ideas with consideration and respect. People should not be put off by imposter syndrome. It is such bullshit. Postgrad is for everyone and especially for people who love a subject and care about ideas because there are not enough of them in the academy.

Very solid advice!

Thank you so much ❤ I'm currently trying to stay motivated for preparing a presentation - and maybe procrastinating a little, as usual. The thing is, I've always been the kid who loved books and history, so me wanting to pursue university always was a given to everyone. I struggle nonetheless and not just with stuff I'm not interested in. My physical health is very closely connected with my mental health (I have migraines) but I'm struggling so much with self-doubt, ADHD related burnout and anxiety freeze responses that every presentation, exam and paper becomes a stress test for my whole academic career. Even if I love the topic and thoroughly enjoy the research ... Because of this it's already years and I'm not nearly finished yet. Eventually I will end up hoping each semester that my university will accept my documented health struggles as reasons to allow me to take longer than officially allowed. I live in Germany and it's crazy that there is a regulation for how long max you can stay at university. Studying is basically free but you need your own money to pay for rent and food which is a lot. I can't stay at my parents' place since my university is too far away. Those are the reasons as well why more and more qualified students in Germany can't afford attending university. Due to my health problems I really can't manage a job while studying. Especially in the beginning when I didn't yet know so much about my health struggles I was constantly busy questioning whether it was even worth it to spend my parents money on this. They can barely afford to support me and it's a wonder it has worked out so far without the possibility to get any outside support. To this day I'm not sure whether I will be able to eventually graduate somewhat on time, before the university runs out of patience with me. So still to this day the risk remains that maybe the money will just go to waste without any use, degreewise. Just because of my health struggles and strange laws. A lot of the exams etc also seem more like a question of luck rather than skill or proper preparation or resilience. It depends on the professor, on the subject, on the circumstances like time, place etc. It's frustrating and feels humiliating to know that I might fail because of silly reasons somewhat outside of my control. I've already spent so much time on thousands of treatments with limited success ... Trying ps****delics was the best decision in my life even though it's illegal here and health professionals wouldn't approve of it. Don't get me wrong I love the countless priceless wonderful enriching experiences I had at university and I was able to grow so much. It's so true what a lot of people are saying in the comments: If you look closer you'll see that the people working at university also don't have everything figured out perfectly. Some professors don't update on the newest research, know nothing outside of their very narrow expertise and wouldn't be able to survive outside of university in any other job. Also a lot of people who end up graduating didn't really understand the scientific method or were even just lucky. Most of those who don't go on to attempt a Phd forget most of what they learned at uni. So basically university is just like everything in life - a growing experience that makes you feel isolated, lonely and misunderstood even though everyone is experiencing something similar, oftentimes without realizing it. So in fact there is no need to feel separate from society, we all are pretty damn normal and therefore we can just relax and try to enjoy the ride as much as possible. No one knows where they are going or whether their plans will work out. Embarking on the journey is necessary to even find the right path(s) for ourselves ❤ I just need to remind myself of all of this all the time over and over again 😂

I'd like to remind anyone feeling like this that the old adage "you are your worst critic" is often true. Cinzia you have been one of my academic inspirations ever since I discovered your channel and went "this is something you can actually study? That's awesome!". I appreciate this video a whole lot, so thank you :)

I wanted to have a written description for all that you said in this video so that I could come back to it time and time again to remind myself. Currently, I am patiently awaiting results of my MA applications and this was quite comforting, so thanks a lot for reminding values important not just in academia but life in general. Onward!

In my experience, one of the best predictors of who will complete a PhD once they've started is how stubborn they are. If you're willing to put up with the bullshit required to get through it, and stubborn enough to keep making adjustments to make it work, you'll probably get through it.

Thanks as always.

Warm greetings from the land of the north! This pretty much sums it all up, Cinzia. Truly lovely. I would like to add another thing that truly can cripple intuitive and deep creative souls. Boredom. I realized that this often stems from a feeling of wanting to be in the future rather than the now. Do not hurt yourself with doubt, negative looping, or boredom for that matter. Let it instead spur you over the edge into curiousity within the here and now. Be and breathe. To anyone reading this. You will get there. As an example: In my own daily work life within the creative field, I use one of many agile methods (looking at you, scrum). Within scrum, there is something called sprint loops. Now the mere wording of it has made me puke with stress. So I reworded it for myself and many creatives. Why not go out on a walk loop instead, where we have time to enjoy the journey and look at the trees and all the lovely inspiring things along the way? Later I adopted Kanban and mixed the methods together. Sometimes it is a matter of finding what works best for you. Keep creating and keep doing what makes you happy in life. Warmest regards, Kristoffer

A levels in the late 00's were an absolute nightmare for me, retakes upon retakes. I did eventually scrape into uni and just about managed a 2-1 in history, but it has forever ruined the idea of doing post graduate qualifications for me. My dyslexia and depression were definitely the primary reason this all happened, despite being diagnosed relatively early there was never anything like enough help. I got some extra time in exams, but that's about all. Life is finally starting to get better, but I feel as though I've lost out on at least a decade as a result of taking so long to get through the academic process.

You are incredibly accomplished in so many areas, but imposter syndrome can be so hard to overcome. But, for me, just remember your successes, however small or hard won. It's how you run the race. And you're winning ❤️

Thanks for sharing !

Thank you dearly, from someone who got a pass in My Masters. It was a liberal arts masters and I got either an A or a B on every paper, up to the actual dissertation where it all fell apart and I got a pass, and I think the professors were being nice. I now know I was going about it completely wrong. Drinking too much (now sober), not focused enough. And I chose a thesis I had no real interest in, so that I could get it done. I would do it completely differently if I could do it over. I now read 100 books a year (most of them academic), so that I can not only re-experience getting my degrees, while actually accumulating the knowledge. I wish I had done this for real.

True!! Thank you! 🎉❤

I love how open you are about your past experiences. It's inspiring and makes others feel better about their academic journey. I've had a lot of bad experience with being looked down upon for the university I went to for my 1st undergraduate. I got my first and only job as a field archaeologist, and I will annoyingly remember the look of disgust and snobbery of this one guy with a PhD from an elite university in Europe gave me when I told him where I studied. I'm studying for my 2nd undergraduate (Computer Science this time) currently at the Open University. I'm expecting to receive even more snobbery when I graduate and hopefully get into a Master progamme. It's good to know the majority of academics are not like the rude "I have a PhD from an ELITE university" man.

I find your sense of style and cosy looking home really inspiring. All the intriguing little nooks and crannies, with gentle lights, help soften the tautness of my overloaded (autistic) brain, igniting a wealth of ideas. Had you a blue hue in an empty room, my mind would have to grapple more to absorb your helpful, insightful words.

Thanks for posting this video. I just found out that after having not sufficiently achieved a standard acceptable mark after first term exams of an A- in Microeconomics and Macroeconomics at my business school, that I cannot move forward in my course and they withdrew me from my finance program. This is devastating and I feel useless and stupid for not achieving a mark of an A- that’s mandatory to meet requirements in one of the most difficult and abstract courses/fields ever taught at undergrad levels, hell even all of university academia. My intent of pursuing my bachelors of finance has come crashing down fantastically. I only went into it for knowing that there would be a return on investment and didn’t really follow up on my direct interests of Political Science and English. I see this academic failure as a reset for transitioning into what I actually care about and not what society thinks I should be doing or what society thinks of that field of study and how the masses will determine my own net and self worth. 🙂

Didn't watch it yet but man I've got so much of the same issues as u, its therapeutic hearing u talk about this stuff

you are exactly correct. surround yourself with good people. that's what great leaders do, you don't know everything and will never know everything, great advisors who want to help, invaluable.

Nice mug! I have an equally large one at home and the same one at work. Anyway to reply to your video, i am not an academic. I graduated barely with an honours degree. However that never stopped me occassionally outperforming various people with PHD's and/or firsts in my actual jobs usually because i was much more practical. The thing is if you are talented at something then a formal education doesn't always matter so much if you are actually good at your job which I was. My degree was in Electrical & Electronic Engineering, but I have been developing software for my very long career and i wasn't taught that at University as there were no computers as we know then today back then (1980s). I study hard and long to understand the topics I need to do my jobs and always have. So don't let not being an academic stop you in pursuing any career where you have passion.

My mother had serious mental health issues and as an only daughter whose father was a Senior Navy Officer so away from home nine months at a time, I was left to parent her. At public school, they could never work out why I was intelligent but unlikely to pass my "O" levels. No-one ever checked or asked what my home life was. I lived with my elderly grandparents during term time. My Grandmother took lodgers in because my grandfather also had mental health issues so wages were never confirmed. My normal day started at 0500 when I would get up, sort breakfasts out for the lodgers, then walk two miles to the bus stop where I caught the 0730 bus for the hour's commute to school. At 1630, I caught the bus back which got me in just in time to set the dinner tables up, serve, clear, prepare vegetables for next day. At 2000, I would sit down and eat anything that was left .... Sometimes it was two potatoes but other times it was a little meal. At 2030, I would help with the laundry, ironing, cleaning housework. At 2130 I started my homework only if everything else was completed ..... Not always easy as I had to sit at the kitchen work table ..... And was on call to do the supper tea and biscuits for everyone. At 2330, my grandparents would clear their little sitting room and I would make up my bed (I slept on a sofa). Inbetween that, I had to wash my own clothes, sneak baths (hot water was for the lodgers) etc etc. My mother would waft in and out of my life when it suited her but always making it clear that I was there to house keep for her when I got older. When I finally did get away, I went to university a couple of years later, I sailed through every exam. Transferred after a year to a prestigious university and earned my BSc in Pure and Applied Mathematics. Did my second BE in Medical Biochemistry (Pre Med) ..... Then a MS on my way to my PhD. Don't believe that you can't just do everything you can to change your circumstance!

I'm a lifelong academic from a working-class background. I have a PhD, and have lectured in Higher Education for over 20 years. I've written undergrad programmes from the ground-up, and I'm an External Examiner for another university. But that imposter syndrome doesn't go away. A lot of it is due to coming from a working-class background, even though I was "naturally" academic. (Copying US culture, there's a tendency in 21st Century Britain to downplay how significant the class system is in defining our sense of self.) I often discuss imposter syndrome with students, as part of our pastoral programme; and in my opinion, that sense of imposter syndrome is healthy, inasmuch as it's what drives us forwards to "do better." At the other end of the spectrum you have the Dunning-Kruger effect in force, which leads to intellectual stagnation. (Sadly it's often the people who suffer from what we might call the Dunning-Kruger effect that, through their projected confidence/arrogance, rise to positions of authority.)

I needed this video back when I was in medical school. And I still need it today. I was valedictorian of my high school, but I knew it wasn’t a very good school. Did ok in undergraduate. Made it into medical school. Passed medical school and struggled so badly in my pediatrics internship. Switched to family medicine and excelled. Smashed my board exams. But I still feel like I’m not good enough. This might be the human condition of those that aren’t so arrogant as to believe ourselves the best or smartest. If you wish you were better, just keep working at it. Keep going. Fear is a lack of knowledge. So keep reading. ❤️ Cheers.

@godsstrongestmagicalgirl5217

4 ай бұрын

"this might be the human condition of those that arent so arrogant as to believe ourselves the best or smartest." Y_Y

Yes, Halloween is a year round event! I appreciate you and your Halloween mug ❤

Relatable. I flunked med school exams too but i survived

Thank you.

As someone who was a mediocre student and then failed to finish highschool (it was an art school, so more specialised, but still), and then neglecting to finish highschool in night classes, thus doing that process twice... yeah, I am amongst those none bookish people who were at the bottom of the education and is still somewhat shamed about talking about it. On the other hand when I got unto university, I was at the top of my class, determined to turn things around, but more importantly - I chose to learn something that actually interested me. Its crazy how much a field you like can change the energy you spend for it. As of now I have only finished my bachelors and I already knew when choosing with university to attent, that with this education it will be tricky to find a job, I spent next years to find a decent job, and now that I have it, I can start thinking of masters. In short, I too share the pains of education but the story of being able to turn it around with sheer power of will and drive. Not counting such factors as ADHD, dyslexia and so on, that can affect learning, I dont think a human is a bad student by nature. It just really depends, when, how and what is being learned. IMO changing one of the factors can change the outcome.

I can’t wait for your video announcing you’ve finished your PhD and you’ll be flooded with congratulations and “WOOHOOS” from all of us who are cheering you on. You are the MOST intelligent woman on KZread. We all love ❤ you and want nothing but success for you. You go girl.

Wow, thank you for this video. I was that bookish academically inclined child, but after high school I made some questionable choices which completely derailed my life for a few years. Now I'm in my late twenties and just starting my master's degree, and I always feel like such a failure next to my classmates who're all 4-5-6 years younger than me getting scholarship after scholarship and already working or having worked in the field, whereas I've spent the last decade mostly answering phone calls, stacking shelves and serving drinks to get by. It's just so nice to see someone who's also worked blue collar jobs and hasn't excelled in every course or exam doing their PhD! And I hope to become as eloquent as you some day haha.

Your journey sounds like mine. I worked in many warehouses and kitchens, failed often, and kept getting back up. Now, I've achieved my educational goals, make a great salary, and I'm contented. I know you can do it too.

I love this and feel much the same. Got a 2:2 on my first degree, distinction on my Masters, feeling very out of my depth with the PhD. But then David Bowie's advice to creatives is to always be a little out of your depth, so I suppose it's alright! 🖤

Thank you I suffer from imposter syndrome too and finshing my degree and about start my masters in September

Oh, how I wish that your KZread channel would have existed when I was in university, Cinzia!!!

I understand exactly how you feel. I also performed poorly in grammar school and barely, and I mean just barely, graduated high school. I sometimes wonder if people like you and I were actually just bored because the schoolwork was rote and not intellectually stimulating. Also, I’m totally incorporating 'toss pot' into my daily lexicon. I don't think it's used often here in the States, but I love it, lol.

I really appreciate these videos. As a non-british person I think your accent and sweaters make me think you were always academic

Relate so hard.

Somehow i get the feeling that not only will you get your PHD one day , but go out and get another one. Because you are that driven. That determined.

This video: talks about getting a PHD me, a smooth brained car fixer person: interesting... Also me: shoehorns memes into conversations because why not?

I'm really big on pushing the different kinds of intelligence. I work in manufacturing as human resources. I hate when someone will judge one of our shop workers as less intelligent than an office worker. Our shop workers are mechanically inclined and can fix anything you put in front of them. Our accountant is amazing at math and can do in his head what I struggle to come up with a formula for. I have people skills and emotional intelligence and I advocate for all of my employees. You are extremely intelligent. Don't compare yourself "book to book" with your peers at work. Look at them and consider which could never open themselves up online like you to help others. ❤

if you want to do it, you will! We always doubt ourselves. Wasnt an A student in high school but in the end managed to wrangle my way to finish a degree, two post grad certs and a masters plus i was working full time already when i did all my postgraduate studies. Not a genius just determination. ❤

You are worthy.🌹

I think you are better than someone that would pass the first time. You should be proud of yourself.

In my entire doctoral and post-doctoral career, I can only think of one person who ever had their intelligence questioned by their peers on more than a few occasions. But it was only a few times by a relatively small group of people, and of course, none of them ever said it to her face. I defended her when I could, and she definitely did deserve to be there, though. But if it's a sign of anything, she went on to be more successful in finding a long-term stable career in our field than all but one of the people who questioned her abilities. Plus she was a decent bit more successful in that than me as well.

This echoes my academic journey as someone who is riddled with self-doubt and imposter syndrome. In 2018 I applied to university and was accepted on a BA with a foundation year having left school with virtually no qualifications. Fast forward to 2024 and I have both a BA (Hons) and a Master's under my belt, but I seem to have hit the proverbial brick wall regarding my academic journey. I would love to go to the next level and embark on a PhD course but any potential supervisor seems to implode with the thought of taking me on as a candidate. "Sorry, your research proposal doesn't fit with what I'm doing" or "There are more scholarly applicants than yourself, " are the typical responses. This all serves to make me feel that I am indeed not good enough and that maybe I should take the hint. If only someone would work with me and help refine my proposal, I'm sure I could produce a fairly mediocre research study. 🤔

As a mature student who is desperately trying to get someone to supervise their PhD proposal, this video has inspired me to keep going, when I was just about ready to quit. 😁

I love you, dude.

I remember getting my GCSE results, they were mostly C's with a couple of B's. But I had gotten a D in Maths and I was told that I couldn't attend my school's sixth form because of that one grade, they wouldn't even let me stay on to resit it. I remember my friend being in tears over getting a B in History but she had been allowed to stay on for sixth form, when I comforted her she told me that 'I didn't understand what she was going through.' I was lucky, I found another school that allowed me to study A Levels and I was then able to go to university. I think there has been a problem for years now where academic achievement is only for those with A and A* grades when the vast majority of us are averaging below that grade, but just because we are not getting those top grades it doesn't mean we are not suitable for learning and a life in academia. Education and the pursuit of knowledge should never be gatekept from those who wish to learn and grow.

I did soooo much better grade wise in graduate school than I did in undergrad and high school. Something clicked in my brain and I realized I could actually do the homework and study for exams. 😂

I am not sure if we are the same age or not, I feel like an old man. 5 years ago I had made a friend who was 22 at the time and I was 30 and she had her master's degree in something related to child counseling at that time I had just barely finished my Assc. in Applied science in Architecture and was so overwhelmed thinking 'These young kids already have their masters degree and I am just starting out my bachelors like wtf'. And life happened. I managed a restaurant once. I created and own a restaurant from scratch with my parents (had a building but no more) and there is a friend of mine who works in a corporate job and "manages a team" i think she said of 5 people and i'm like 'Wtf i'm first generation to go to college, to start a business, to own and trade stocks, i have LOADS of job experience because a lot of side hustles and yet it feels like there is always a glass ceiling when I compare myself to 'the other' and I think that is my own personal challenge where I compare myself to others and its not a good habit. I have different aspirations and I actually hate corporate jobs but I still envy that position because it sounds like more money and I love money. I am finishing my bachelors this year and want to work for the federal gov. Dept. of Interior. and that has given me something to aim that no matter wat Once I get that job I'll be happy and peruse my PHD depending on what direction I want to go with my career, archeology, geology, land management, sciency stufff.... but for now I am not worried about comparing myself to someone else because I know for a fact I will eventually succeed... it'll take a while and whine a bunch getting there but I'll be happy when I accomplish my goal. I really appreciate you mentioning your experiences in academia going for PHD and people willing to help you I would argue that success is mostly luck, schemes gone right, solid research, and decent critical thinking in terms of contributing to society with 'knowledge' and rehearsing mnemonics. those are my two cents.

you're great

I work at at one of the highest rated universities in the world and I don't even know how academically successful the people around me are. I've never ever thought to ask what someone got in their undergraduate degree. I don't care. As long as people are reasonably competent at what they do, nothing else matters

A lot of what you have said can also be applied to the workspace as well. I have a lot of experience in my field but I do not have either a degree or any professional certifications so I feel like an imposter at times even though I know I am not.