What love style do you relate most to here? (part 3)

@shroomishtoonish4376

Жыл бұрын

The victim

@Raickei

Жыл бұрын

The Pleaser. I am well in my 30's now without any friends or a close family. I have been burned too many times by those who took advantage of my nature of not wanting to disappoint others. Unless you know for sure you are going to be rewarded for doing any favors, its best not to or you will be miserable with your life. Point is, it's okay to be the A-Hole every now and then, but it's definitely not okay to live your entire life as a doormat.

@eggomyleggos5247

Жыл бұрын

Victim 🙃

@crowdnine7771

Жыл бұрын

Why the new comment on an old video?

@1ce_bound

Жыл бұрын

The avoider

I don’t even feel safe crying in front of my mum.

@thaliagrace3911

3 жыл бұрын

I'm not sure if it helps, but i might understand. My dad used to and still covers his ears and yells at me whenever I cry in front of him.

@anntully-crook2430

3 жыл бұрын

I don’t cry in front of people as I don’t like to see them upset. So I do it in the bathroom.

@datoneguy3343

3 жыл бұрын

I just pretends to sleepy when I want to cry.

@saradambrosi5429

3 жыл бұрын

Same

@muffinman3979

3 жыл бұрын

Same

I hate how parents think children are emotionless

@corpsepuppy427

2 жыл бұрын

What parent thinks that ? XD LMAO WTF

@HumanDisaster-Dirt

2 жыл бұрын

Sometimes I just feel nothing. Like, one moment I'm fine, and the next, it's like I've been stripped of all emotion. I have no energy to do anything. I can barely lift my arm. I laugh a lot. Smile a lot. I make jokes and stuff. All around my family. But when I'm alone, I want to scream. I want to scream til my throat is raw and hurts. I want to cry until my eyes have no more tears. And I want to rip through my skin and bleed out all that pain my parents and just the world in general has put me through. I want to, but instead I'll drop to the floor because my legs can't hold me any longer. I'll open my mouth, to scream, but there's never anything to be heard, no matter how much I really want to be heard. I'll cry and cry, but the tears never seem to stop, and I'll scratch at my skin, bang my fists against it, but there's never even a mark. As though my pain isn't there. And then I'll feel blank. And it'll happen all over again. And I want to ask for help. I know I should ask for help, but the thought of actually telling someone about how I feel, actually letting them in and letting them see me, it scares me more than anything else. Whelp, at least I got my cat.

@joshuacarter2746

2 жыл бұрын

@@corpsepuppy427 its not that they think that, but the way many parents treat children makes it seem as if they believe the child shouldn't or wouldn't be effected and affected by their actions

@sabihasabirasumaiya3303

2 жыл бұрын

I can relate to it 😟

@sabihasabirasumaiya3303

2 жыл бұрын

@@corpsepuppy427 U know why but they do . My dad even said me it "I really don't know why you are so emotionless?" Not everyone is perfect

i bursrt into tears when you described the pleaser because it was like you were recounting my entire experience growing up. I'm 26 and ive only in recent years begun to become the kind of person that stands up for myself when i feel hurt or offended and actually tries to explain my emotions instead of bottling them up or apologizing so the disagreement or whatever it may be will just be over. But I feel blessed to have come to the realization of how my childhood affected me because now I know who i am and I can be in control of the woman I'm becoming. I would say I'm a pleaser with some aspects of the avoidant personality in that my parents did not express much affection towards me and I can sometimes get uncomfortable when people around me are having extreme emotions as I'm know for being quite stoic. But at the same time most of my friends are very expressive because I like those kinds of people and I admire those who have the ability to express their true emotions freely and without regard. I like surrounding myself with people who have qualities I admire so thats a huge part of me welcoming that kind of energy even though its so different to mine

@HelloSasha707

Жыл бұрын

You are very admirable. - a recovering pleaser

@armygirl5521

Жыл бұрын

You just described me... I'm also trying to change myself 🙃💜 it's hard but I will do it.

@Nyxx84

Жыл бұрын

Same....i teared up watching this,it hit soo hard

@forfunanimationffa7476

6 ай бұрын

You are not a pleaser it is just that you are kind and you are emotionally matured enough but remember you are dangerous. You must have control over your emotions.

@akankshaborkar586

Ай бұрын

i am same as your age and my story is also the same..luckily my boyfriend is all aware of these things and he is too supportive..even he was the one who showed mi these videos and helping me to be better..i am struggling but i hope and believe that we will get through this and stand for ourselves..more power to you

This video made me cry because I realized as I was watching that I fall into parts of each category on this list. I've lived most of my life under the illusion that I was just fucking everything up. But that would be my trauma doing that, and also telling me it's my fault. I'm healing more and more as time passes, and with videos like this, I can dive deeper and deeper. Thank you💜

@dorislenahan1864

9 ай бұрын

I can relate to parts of each category. I wonder if some of the damage caused by growing up in dysfunctional and toxic families can ever be repaired. Any thoughts?

@TheWaterSkier

7 ай бұрын

I grew up this way aswell

@rdj2482

4 ай бұрын

Me too..❤❤

@RageAye

4 ай бұрын

@@dorislenahan1864 I believe everything can be healed from. There might be scars but even those eventually fade with time and care

@smitsolanki8869

3 ай бұрын

Your comment is so relatable to my life...❤

My goal is to raise my children in such a way, that they don't have to recover from their childhood.

@thesunsflower

5 жыл бұрын

@Andrew Austinsad but true man 😔

@thesunsflower

5 жыл бұрын

@@Aryan111ize 🌻🙌🏽

@Lemonnex

5 жыл бұрын

I'm not having children because I don't think I can do that for them.

@thesunsflower

5 жыл бұрын

@@Lemonnex that selfless mindset you have makes me think otherwise love 🌻

@thesunsflower

5 жыл бұрын

@Null Ledge I completely understand what you're saying. Keep your head up 🌻

I love how children are drawn with a little plant on their head... it says a lot

@h.c.h.7566

4 жыл бұрын

Sofia’s being a memeful INFP Its almost like saying that they're still growing, or it's possibly encouraging the fact that whatever someone says or does to a child, thoroughly impacts the way a child thinks and processes situations. Everything you say is a seed planted into the mind of a child, whether it be good or bad. Totally agree with you.

@dankdegl612

4 жыл бұрын

I see it as an expression of sprouting, innocence and elvolving throughout childhood.

@aloevera3317

4 жыл бұрын

I just noticed that!

@TheQUBANQT

4 жыл бұрын

subliminal messages lol

@ThornHailsnap

4 жыл бұрын

I always think of them like Pikmin. www.pikminwiki.com/images/5/55/Blue_Pikmin.png

I’m definitely the vacillator. I grew up as a middle child and my parents were unpredictable. Both of them were either laid back or in a very bad mood and became unreasonable and angry. I do unfortunately have unfair expectations of other people and find myself very disappointed in my friendships and relationships. I have been trying really hard to care less about these situations and tell myself that it’s not personal, but it’s such a struggle.

@willfowler1027

27 күн бұрын

Parents moved me to Dubai with them when I was 9 and I rarely saw my dad while we lived there. Wasn’t able to put it together until now but that’s definitely why I act the way I do

Timestamps (someone had to do it) Pleaser - 0:46 Victim - 1:59 Controller - 3:00 Vacillator - 3:57 Avoider - 5:00

@imyrzaim6241

Жыл бұрын

Thx

@ItsRiley_19

Жыл бұрын

Tysm

@girijagopimv4802

Жыл бұрын

Tysm!

@vanessajoycecollett6607

10 ай бұрын

😂

"the pleaser..." i started crying

@acidrainstorms

2 жыл бұрын

I think its something about her voice. Pleasant and soft for the ears, makes you feel warm all the way down in your center

@belaflor888

2 жыл бұрын

Daniel qq tu tá fazendo aqui?!

@carsonchui169

2 жыл бұрын

Same here

@sjk3406

2 жыл бұрын

Hey same here man

@shitimarowshitio

2 жыл бұрын

Me too

“Which love style do you identify with” Me: yes

@donikadonika129

4 жыл бұрын

I can relate 😥

@capedbaldy4778

4 жыл бұрын

Same

@allsuden2233

4 жыл бұрын

Yes

@glitchmanshandle

4 жыл бұрын

nice

@TiTi-pm4my

4 жыл бұрын

Lmao same

I definitely became a people pleaser and it was a long journey to find out, accept it and slowly stand up for myself. For anyone reading this: it's worth it emerging boundaries, putting yourself first and most importantly you must remember: you are not responsible for other people's emotions but your own 🧡

@IAmTheSenate218

27 күн бұрын

I am still a pleaser but i kinda grew out of it by....being more pleaser i geuss? I try to keep my friends happy,but learned that not everything can be done and sometimes,a no is a no. And sometimes,making my friends happy meant i had to upset others or just do something i didnt really want to do,for example,someone upset them,so i would talk it out,or they would want to ask someone a favour but are too shy,so i would ask. Doing all that made me not care what people think anymore. But i still am a pleaser. Fortunately/unfortunately i am not in a romantic relationship with someone,but honestly i think its a good thing,it would probably be worse for me, especially if care and loyalty came from one side. But even though being a pleaser is....i dont know how to describe it....painful sometimes (betrayals are 500% worse) i am thankful for being one,it got me far,and made me more confident. So much so that i would take the blame for something my friend did just because. If you are reading this and youre a pleaser,remember to not give in too much. The best thing you can learn to say is no. It will help you so much. I am not talking about relationships with partners only,i am talking about every relationship. Because once you do that,you broke the barrier that might be preventing you from being confident,and you will increase your willpower

Yup. I relate to all of these. I am in a committed relationship and we have been to therapy. By far the most important thing we got out of it was that we have agreed to both try and state our feelings to each other when something isn't going well, instead of just reacting. I did not feel safe doing this until we had talked about it a lot because I did not feel like it was OK to share my feelings. Similarly my partner was also uncomfortable until we talked about it because he is used to keeping things bottled up. We still each have our issues but now we can talk about it and try to understand what's going on, as well as support each other in our challenges.

@renneemoimana2708

Жыл бұрын

I am so happy for you.

@jocelinetinajerocampos9915

Жыл бұрын

Me to

@elevarmax9260

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for your reply. I also relate to all of these. I was like oh my goodness. How is that so so thank you for letting me know. I'm not alone. I wish you healing

@arinkamaran2229

Жыл бұрын

@@elevarmax9260 me too bro, stay strong

"It's not you, it's my messed up childhood"

@summayah4102

5 жыл бұрын

Oof.

@thiaguinhogameplays

5 жыл бұрын

lmao

@dudewtf1776

5 жыл бұрын

Sweet, another excuse I can use on the new girlfriend

@minecraftminertime

5 жыл бұрын

Do you mean "you" or "me"?

@MrButterfly308

5 жыл бұрын

@@minecraftminertime it's you, I'm referring to the "It's not you, it's me" line

Who else had strict parents and is now "The Pleaser" in relationships ? 🙋‍♀️ Just realized all the likes ! I wanna hear these strict parent stories now lol

@juststevoo

4 жыл бұрын

S yerrrrrrr 👋🏾

@sleepymice3305

4 жыл бұрын

I just don't know I feel like you'll love me too much and it's strange you'll love me a little and I'll leave

@sukanyasen305

4 жыл бұрын

🙌

@OrigamiAhsoka

4 жыл бұрын

69th like And yes

@acc373r4t0r

4 жыл бұрын

imagine having a love life lmao

I mostly identify with the pleaser love style, although my parents weren't overly critical. I believe it is because, as a child I had a "friend" who was really critical and ended up bullying me. She was the reason I started trying to avoid every possible conflict and probably the reason I developed such an introverted personality.

Sounds like I'm a bit of a Controller and Avoider, but mostly Avoider. I tend to do things by myself, have a fairly rigid methodolgy, and I have trouble being around others when they express emotions. I've worked on my anger, not bottling it up and not letting it guide my thoughts so much. It's really difficult to open myself up to people, allow myself to be vulnerable, and be receptive to the idea that I don't have to do it (anything, really) on my own.

@janinbo47

6 ай бұрын

You described it perfectly damn

When you realize, at the end of the video, that you are equipped with a piece from every love style mentioned...😳

@ybp1389

4 жыл бұрын

We are "The Universal" it's a gift and a curse

@qckreplacementvideos7561

4 жыл бұрын

All for me except one

@Emmanuel-xr3pt

4 жыл бұрын

Exactly bruh

@nicolestockes3325

4 жыл бұрын

I felt that! All expect like 2 of them

@pinkishhaven5158

4 жыл бұрын

Same. I had a little bit of each. My parents were very loving, but I want to please people I'm no victim, but I want to be NOT noticed more than anything. Extremely low self esteem, but versatile to every situation. I often like to solve things on my own (but I don't get angry at them, visibly) I idealized a lot with whoever gives me little affection😅, am sensitive, and extremely perceptive I get uncomfortable when people go emotional on me(don't know how the hell to calm them down).

Can't have relationship problems if you'll never have a relationship hehe

@al-kazaz9032

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you Mao LongDong very cool

@bonniestevenson2221

4 жыл бұрын

Well yes but actually no..you'll have the relationship with -Satan- yourself.😗

@vipersrt30

4 жыл бұрын

he's speaking the language of Gods

@svrona7696

4 жыл бұрын

Indeed

@zafiruzoma6234

4 жыл бұрын

My nigga

I am definitely a pleaser, but not because of my parents. My childhood best friends had negative reactions to things that I had said/done, which led me into avoiding conflicts and not being open and honest with the people I’m friends with now. I can definitely relate to the point about being able to read others moods to keep everyone happy, as well as the point where we give in and apologise quickly. Honestly, it’s gotten to the point where my friends have said that I need to stop apologising. Going forward, I’m definitely going to try and express my emotions more and take my emotions into account, instead of bottling them up and thinking that they aren’t as important as my friend’s’ happiness

As the eldest among my siblings, I'm glad that I was able to watch this video, I've realized that I was a pleaser in my childhood. I can't avoid, but to read the emotions of the people around me, I feel discomfort when I realize they are not happy being with me. This explains why I like to serve the people I love. This video would not only help me, but also help my younger siblings. I would guide them not to experience this types of love style in their childhood.

that awkward moment when you're a little bit of all of them.....

@lorenasimpson4253

4 жыл бұрын

lol its true tho

@MissHellithRaiser

4 жыл бұрын

Same 🙋‍♀️

@NursemEzgiFindikkiran

4 жыл бұрын

Comment I was looking for

@aishaomran

4 жыл бұрын

Same 😂

@bentleyhuang93144

4 жыл бұрын

I have all of them :(

are there any love styles where parents actually took good care of their kids lol

@PapilloAntonius

4 жыл бұрын

Something similar to this is attachment styles. They're basically the same thing. Parents who raised their children in good style will grow up to have a secure attachment style.

@kindakyana2372

4 жыл бұрын

@Astro gaming it's cause of that damn phone

@kindakyana2372

4 жыл бұрын

@Astro gaming I feel you; my grandma is extremely old-fashioned so she isn't tech savvy at all; old people, man.

@joshuamendoza4842

4 жыл бұрын

Self love

@almadempsey3588

4 жыл бұрын

No. We‘ll all make a mistake here and there. Especially when we had selfish parents.

Its crazy to me how I felt identify with all of them but yet proud & happy enough that I've broken those cycles and decided to be a betterpartner everyday I decided to uncondintion myself from what I've been thought love should be for me. Its hard, because I'm still working on many more factors that aren't mentioned in this video. Thank you for this beautiful insight!

THIS has got to be one of your best videos yet!!! The graphics are spot on, the narration lovely as always. VERY INFORMATIVE AND INTERESTING.

"The Pleaser" *Proceeds to describe my entire life story and all of my friendships*

@tylerbastow5012

2 жыл бұрын

dud same

@Trooper50000

2 жыл бұрын

same

@jaynestag95

2 жыл бұрын

To meet someone else who has suffered the same makes me feel less alone..55yrs and my life's been a giant mess with everyone.

@LovelyCatVal

2 жыл бұрын

Same

@vishal5840

2 жыл бұрын

Exactly

I feel like everyone is a mix of all, but to varying degrees.

@CarolinHauser

3 жыл бұрын

Totally!

@jaylx3358

3 жыл бұрын

Facts

@MaskedMadame09

3 жыл бұрын

Agreed.

@Lexillios

3 жыл бұрын

I don't identify with any of them

@drinkmowater2856

3 жыл бұрын

Not really I just relate to the the please and the avoider

This video helped me realize my problem of getting angry in every disagreement and now it is not as bad. Thank you.

I started crying when I saw myself in the Avoider, I relate to everything on this category, It's not because my mother is a bad mother, but my father wasn't present in my live at all and because of that my mother had to work a lot, so I grew up in my nannies houses away from my mother and father, away from my family. So today I don't like to be or see people get emotional, or to be touched. I like to be alone all the time, it's just in these moments I feel actually calm, when I'm on my own, just how I was my entire life. Because of that I destroyed a good relationship with a wonderful person, and I blame myself until today.

Let's be clear :Other children also affect the way a child develops. I was bullied terribly. I became a pleaser to avoid any conflict I could. My parents were not the problem. I am working on change.

@Attention80

2 жыл бұрын

It's my case as well, but being a pleaser is not necessarily a bad thing if it's not extreme IMO. Unless it's really not who you want to be, don't change too much :)

@idontreaddumbasscomments869

2 жыл бұрын

One or both of your parents should have taught you to stand up for yourself. Life is rough… it’s not sunshine and rainbows.

@shep9231

2 жыл бұрын

You don't have to try hard bud... just you do whats best for you. Let everyone else figure their issues out... you focus on you.!

@ivorynk752

Жыл бұрын

I think my brother had a bigger impact on me than my parents did.

@Mai-he7vq

Жыл бұрын

Exaaactly. I see lots of videos about childhood trauma referring to the impact of parents without mentioning other factors such as the negative experiences with the peers you've had around you.

i'm watching this rn not only for myself, but for my gf too. she has had a bad childhood and i wanna make sure to make her feel cared for

@fenlit2949

3 жыл бұрын

Good on you.

@dagmawittarekegn2957

3 жыл бұрын

* me saluting

@gladysmataru6517

3 жыл бұрын

You are God sent💕

@syzygy4270

3 жыл бұрын

Same

@danyelo9032

3 жыл бұрын

You're gf is very lucky to find you♡

Just can't explain how thorough and presice this was... I believe I belong to the second type whereas my boyfriend belongs to the first one. The coping strategy mentioned at the end of every loving style was the best part really. Keep making more and more of such content!

I resonated a lot with the Vascillator and the controller the most but honestly I feel like I related to them all. Idk if that’s good or bad haha but yea 😂😢

@hamsterstyle6152

Жыл бұрын

Me too, glad I’m not the only one who feels like they have every one. I mean sorry that you feel that way I’m not glad that happened but its cool that I’m not the only one

@taybae561

Жыл бұрын

@@hamsterstyle6152 Thank you honey. You are NOT alone and I’m sending lots of love and light your way. You ARE loved and wanted don’t ever forget that ! 💖💖💖

just found my entire personality is a trauma response

@lyxxinz7108

3 жыл бұрын

Pffftt lol same tho

@pearld1ver

3 жыл бұрын

Lmao same

@RandumNPC

3 жыл бұрын

XD lol felt that

@trinityb2555

2 жыл бұрын

Lmao me toooo

@adventuringemerson1717

2 жыл бұрын

Yup

Hugs to everyone who's watching this and trying to make it through your tough time

@dead9247

5 жыл бұрын

abinaya Elil thank you.

@rafamarin9822

5 жыл бұрын

abinaya Elil thanks a lot

@meganmitchell5409

5 жыл бұрын

abinaya Elil love you

@erochiavelli

5 жыл бұрын

Thank you

@cupcakeletsplay9475

5 жыл бұрын

Ty

I relate to the vacillitator in my early teen, the controller in my school days, and the avoider in general. It could be because I'm both a third and last child so that's just how I was raised, but it could also show my environment growing up affected me. Thanks for the great vid! It gave me some thoughts :)

The vacillator/controller. That is exactly how I grew up. Glad I’m learning more about this so I can fix it. Thanks for the video.

I'm a pleaser. I don't want any conflicts and I'm afraid with dealing with it. So as soon as I feel like things are spicing up and starts to feel uneasy, I immediately apologize and just forget about the words I want to express.

@melody7655

3 жыл бұрын

What could your partner do to make you express yourself? ❤️ My bf is a pleaser, I think. Any advice? ❤️❤️

@rl3595

3 жыл бұрын

@@melody7655 He tells me to not be shy and tells me that he's already mine and I'm already a part of his life so if there's something I want to tell and I feel uneasy, I can always tell him. And he also informs me that having a relationship with someone or loving someone isn't all about looking good or pleasing them, if they love they will accept you for who you are and relationships are made so someone will have someone to share and tell his/her thoughts and problems.

@uhcouldntthinkofone7981

3 жыл бұрын

omg same, it’s so hard! I constantly spend my time reading others emotions and trying to not anger or upset anyone that it makes me exhausted and not want to hang out with anyone as much :T

@ruru3190

3 жыл бұрын

Same 😔

@KryssLaBryn

3 жыл бұрын

@@melody7655 I'm a pleaser myself; but my partner is a controller. It ends up with me being reluctant to even say anything when I'm upset, unless it could not *possibly* in *any* way be perceived to be about him, because it will just start an argument, which I will lose, because he refuses to listen to any other points of view, let alone change his mind about anything. So I end up suppressing everything, feeling miserable and misunderstood and unheard, and becoming resentful. Thanks to counselling I'm working on being more open when I *am* upset about something, or I disagree about something; but it takes a lot of energy, and, knowing it will pretty much *inevitably* lead to a verbal attack no matter how carefully I phrase things, I still too often find myself just suppressing my own wants and needs because I don't have the energy and it won't make a difference anyways. But I'm trying to remember that even if I don't push it, at least if I speak up I'm letting him know that I *do* disagree/am upset, and he doesn't just automatically assume that I am a-okay. And that that in itself is probably worth something longterm, even if it does still result in an argument, and my needs still aren't met. He can't change if he doesn't know anything is wrong. So what I would recommend, from the point of view of a pleaser, is telling him that if anything is bothering him, or he's upset about something, or disagrees with you about something, that you *want* to know about it. You may not agree; but then, he may change your mind, and regardless, *you want his input.* Even if he thinks it's silly, or trivial, or not worth bothering you about, you still care for him deeply, and you *want* to know all those silly, trivial thoughts. Because they're fundamental to *who he is,* actually, not just the face he presents to the world. Because you do *like* who he really is, and you want to connect with the real him. And he doesn't need to worry that any disagreements the two of you may have will cause you to stop *respecting,* or caring about him. And then, when he does open up, try to pay attention to what he's trying to tell you, recognizing that it may be difficult for him to express himself (let alone succinctly). Be patient, and understanding, and try very hard to *not* be impatient, or dismissive, or angry (which are the reactions I most often have issues with myself) And please do try to recognize that things that may not be a priority for *you* may still be a priority for *him,* and vice versa. Try to be kind, to not dismiss things that don't matter to you, just *because* they don't matter to you, and to recognize that if it matters to *him,* it's worth taking into consideration. And try to remember that if you have something that matters to *you,* that *doesn't* matter to him, this is not a rejection of *you.* TL;DR: Try to be open to hearing his thoughts without assumptions, judgment, or dismissing them, and assure him that you *want* to hear him. And leave space for him to do so, and to feel safe in your reactions to them. :)

"As pleaser children grow into adults, they learn to read the mood of others around them to make sure they can keep everyone happy." I can relate.

@lunawl5510

2 жыл бұрын

my doctor told me that too

@aysehandeonal6600

2 жыл бұрын

I read people’s faces, intentions, easily make outcomes from these. Eventually that made my own feelings invisiable by myself. I neglect my needs, my ambitiouns, my happiness. And some point my mental health broke down. 3 years theraphy, and 2 years of medications, here I am, just learning to express my feelings. Even that’s a big challange for me because I wasn’t aware of them. As a core of my belief, I didn’t know that I matter. Growin in a healthy enviroment is a chance for a billion, thanks to people with these videos I see you and share with you ❣️

@fryingpan6172

2 жыл бұрын

same

@siddharththampi5383

2 жыл бұрын

@LEARNER 🕊 honestly, it’s just a natural instinct. You tend to adjust with everyone while neglecting yourself. You just don’t care about how you feel as long as the person you’re adjusting around is happy

@ZeeA0705

2 жыл бұрын

@LEARNER 🕊 it is a good quality but like the saying goes too much of a good thing can be bad for you as pleasures we tend to drop into mental health faster because we spend half our life making other people happy we never think about our Own feelings to a lot of people pleasers are awesome but for us ourselves into unhealthy

I am definitely a mixture of the pleaser and the victim… It mainly stems from having a very angry and emotionally unstable father which made the home very chaotic and also for being bullied throughout all my school years, but I’ve come along way and had some healing but still have a ways to go

With all of my respect to this channel and the help that it brought me, i strive to raise my children in a way that they'll never have to find out about this video

When u realise you’re more then one of these....

@AnnyongJessica

4 жыл бұрын

Like 4 of them

@elizabethbishop3669

4 жыл бұрын

Then what do we do?

@fatimafalalu3857

4 жыл бұрын

I know.....

@anawonka

4 жыл бұрын

Im all

@ajaynair1767

4 жыл бұрын

Right...stupid video

I never realized how critical my mother was until I heard her criticize my child. I’m definitely a pleaser.

@izzy_bell

2 жыл бұрын

That’s sad, I’m not an adult or a parent, but I know what it’s like 😞

@izzy_bell

2 жыл бұрын

@@parabellum1002 that is lovely 😊 thank you so much and good luck!! You sound like an amazing parent

@everythingisunconditionale3719

2 жыл бұрын

Oh that's kinda scary what if I with my child with me experience whatever it is that made me feel this way. Bluuuurh I vomit and my child laughs and u know hhm we would laugh it off but we would both have to heal some

@pallavi1707

2 жыл бұрын

That why i am determined parents can be their children's biggest enemy.

@astraiarune3026

2 жыл бұрын

I think so too, maybe a combo but mostly a pleaser with people, I do my best to say no or be honest nowadays as I'm an adult now but growing up I was definitely a pleaser. I wonder how that goes as aging. I felt like I was a mix of some watching this cuz a lot happened to me growing up.

I'm a terrible combination of the pleaser(always puts others before myself), victim(remains quiet and goes with the flow) and avoider(keeps my emotions bottled up and when I do get angry I want to be alone so I don't take it out on others) :(

@mrjoker3665

Жыл бұрын

Same

@Sparklly

Жыл бұрын

Same

So I can identify with all of these. I grew up in an angry, neglectful household full of violence and addiction. Looking at all of these as something I have been trying to deal with has been overwhelming and leaving an overall feeling of hopelessness. So, for those of us like me, how do we ever feel like there is a happy ending or at least something worthwhile to work towards?

@janeokeeffe5297

Жыл бұрын

I feel the same

@Eviesg_furrytherian

Жыл бұрын

I identify with all but not same backstory. Its more bc of other kids and not parents.

@carolynmariedimmick7884

Жыл бұрын

Same. My mom was bi-polar, but nobody talked about mental illness. It was shameful. So instead she drank to excess, smoked 4 packs of cigarettes a day, and popped pills like Valiums and Darvons. She was a Narcissist with extreme OCD, who was emotionally unavailable and verbally, emotionally and physically abusive. She was also a bully in every way imaginable. Then I married a domestic abuser and endured that for 12 years. I have a LOT to unpack.

@janeokeeffe5297

Жыл бұрын

@@carolynmariedimmick7884 sending love and light to you 🤗

@amberconnolly3437

Жыл бұрын

Same just not the pleaser since my dad never rlly cared if I got in trouble or not :,)

I would rather have no children then have them go through the same pain that I went through

@Me-ec9uz

3 жыл бұрын

Same mindset dude... i knew alot about life... life is so hard. And then i think i shouldn't have a children

@marcelagomes

3 жыл бұрын

See how beautiful is you finding knowledge to get through theses hard feelings, how much bravery you have, so see that if you have a little child you’ll pass this beautiful and lovely will power and bravery form him/her. That’s a lot of bad things but are theses things that makes us more into evolution and movement

@mwaurahope5387

3 жыл бұрын

saaammmeeee like id rather not have someone i gave birth to have to suffer without me knowing that im making them suffer... i love my parents but they hurt me in ways that i cannot believe i will ever forget... and the bad thing is... they dont think its wrong cause thats how they were raised... and now that i am raised this way. id rather not risk hurting someone im supposed to give the world to .you are the first person ive met that thinks the same

@FERNANDO56ize

3 жыл бұрын

Same here.

@anette8260

3 жыл бұрын

same hereeee

20 seconds into pleaser and I'm feeling personally attacked 😂

@kittypupp0473

5 жыл бұрын

Yo same

@meetyounever6923

5 жыл бұрын

Same! 😂

@Wolf_pigs

5 жыл бұрын

Yeah that's my love style the pleaser

@katesgachasquad9858

5 жыл бұрын

Same! My love style is pleaser!

@devin3537

5 жыл бұрын

Same

I had to watch it twice to fully grasp mine and my partners styles as parents and see where our parents were. This was pretty eye opening. Thanks.

I'm definitely a pleaser. Rather than looking out for myself, I care more about others and making sure they're happy. Helps to hide the depression and stuff I have to deal with from them.

I just realized that I’m a pleaser... My parents are over protective and angry, I say sorry too much, and i break down when I feel I’m a mistake to someone... 😔

@scroll9728

4 жыл бұрын

I am the exact same

@teenoush7489

4 жыл бұрын

Idem for me... 😔

@lexfiles721

4 жыл бұрын

I feel like that too..

@daylight1440

4 жыл бұрын

My parents are the opposite: under protective. But I know how you feel

@mm17chuu18

4 жыл бұрын

i would say i relate most to the victim, I’ve never had abusive or alcoholic people in my life, but the pleasers parents are close to mine. 😔

"Number 1: The Pleaser..." *Well shoot*

@keentrasborg2566

3 жыл бұрын

Right in the feelz...

@skechie12

3 жыл бұрын

@flayre on insta same dude, at least it’s not as bad as the others though

@souravmeena6808

3 жыл бұрын

Same

I am definitely a pleaser. Not because my parents don't give me comfort, but because they hate each other. They shout at each other about twice a week, and I try to please them because I think they have felt negative enough already. I also often comfort my mom quite often. Now I have seperation anxiety and try to please everyone as a habit. Pleasers don't always have bad parents. Just wanted to put that out there.

i’m literally all of these styles because the way i grew up, basically every adult treated me one of the different ways and caused me to act in all the ways this video mentioned.

Who else feel that they are little of everything?

@dsakurai

4 жыл бұрын

I do

@GarlicGrinder9

4 жыл бұрын

I'm a lot of most of what they described, and my mother was almost all of these things in one way or another, and not just sometimes.

@zuruizu3029

4 жыл бұрын

Me :(

@sergeygarbar4950

4 жыл бұрын

Same

@lillprince6840

4 жыл бұрын

Like all The worst part of everything, and that was mi safteynet..

The End: which love style are you? Me: well... Im a mix of all

@mckennas3139

4 жыл бұрын

That's what I was thinking actually. At first it was the pleaser but than saw my self in the others too

@bon.bon.

3 жыл бұрын

Same

@Krieksu

3 жыл бұрын

same, don't know how good/bad that is tho, doesn't feel quite right

@esmeray9704

3 жыл бұрын

Im mix of The pleaser(mostly) The avoider (alittle) The victim(some) The controller(some)

@sonnyrogero4737

3 жыл бұрын

Im Actually The Victim One..Welp..It Never Ends

i’m the vacillator a little bit. but i grew up with love and protection so i had a hard time coming up for myself and being alone but i’m still really grateful for the way i grew up!!

I'd apply for all 5 too in some form. A lot of time has passed and i already reflected on many of these points, i found a couple more friends and met a girl but it's still a work in progress. Lately i found myself having emotions again, crying for the first time in over 10 years. I don't know why, but it was good. I'd say this recovery stuff started 4 years ago when i left high school and spent a full week with some mates. It was the first time i really felt accepted and didn't feel like i was acting, not constantly seeing myself doing the things that people expected. Anyways, my point was, i think my problems also helped me. There are many people out there having issues that you only understand if you've been through it yourself. Because i was different, i started seeing things differently than people around me. Because i kept for myself but still had to adapt to people, i observed everything from a distance, uninvolved and untouched by emotions and feelings, beacuse i suppressed them. I saw what made people angry, i saw what made them happy. I saw patterns in complex situations, triggers for behaviours. I did it with me and my own friendships as well, that is the hurting side. I started to understand many things others do not, because they were too involved. I am good at settling arguments, i'm neutral and i recognise the undelying feelings. Because i experienced some problems in a very pronounced way, i could understand them clearly. I'm bad at reading emotions, especially towards me, but when i observe a discussion or argument, i know when and what to do to keep it from turning bad. I can know the reasons why people clog up and what they do and do not need in that situation. I don't feel confident about helping other people yet, but i can tell others how to approach it and show people where their problem lies. We all have problems in some way or another, we're human, but we often don't see our problems or misbehaviour, because it may be subtle, often multiple things coming together. I've been out of bounds, so i can show people when they run in circles or overshoot. Once you've been in the water, you can deal with rain all day. So in the end, nothing we do is wasted. Being sad is hard work and learning, it's just not valued as much. Every one of the 5 problems is still an ability, it's just not useful in the context of your individual relation. While we may wrap our whole thinking, conciousness and life around a bad childhood, we're still compensating for something against our natural needs and that is a tough skill. It breaks a victim in the picture of a functioning society, but primarily it's a strong standing of our own belief. Problems make strong people. You used to always run away to avoid conflicts, now you're good at knowing when a conflict doesn't lead to anything. You used to always hunker down in a conflict, now you know when to stay cool. You used to always attack your attacker, now you can confidently show people when they overstep rules. You can also tell others when to bail, stay cool or protect them. The salt is what makes life tasty, as a fellow rider i once met in the street told me. With problems comes progress. Overall i wouldn't those kind of problems are all worth the pain and time, especially because you often can't easily solve your own habits, otherwise you would already have. Talk to others but also work on it yourself. Finding out how to help yourself is the most powerful skill. Realise what you like about yourself, keep it and build on that. It may take time, but nothing is lost, the longer you need, the more there will be :)

these pictures are making me cry I just wanna scoop up all the small sprout kids and hug them

@hopefilledsinner3911

5 жыл бұрын

Sprout kids are so much cuter than fungus kids.

@Psych2go

5 жыл бұрын

Artisuu we have plushies soon!

@summerfitzgerald2533

5 жыл бұрын

I just wanna take a shit

@augustslippedaway

5 жыл бұрын

ikr the one at 5:11 actually brought tears to my eyes

@BenJones1127

5 жыл бұрын

I know right, who makes these photos?

When I realized none of these applied to me, it made me realize how lucky I am to have the parents that I do. When I was in my teens, my mom and dad always joked that our family was odd compared to everyone else. I don't think I understood how right they were. It's my goal in life to be that good of a parent to my kids.

@therealsasa8924

2 жыл бұрын

🤝

@danielbenson9219

2 жыл бұрын

Can’t relate

@cosmicnightcore685

2 жыл бұрын

Eh- Okay? Lucky you I guess...

@jessical.366

2 жыл бұрын

I really dont know why people getting kind of rude about these comments. For me I can relate to atleast two types on this video and I see many who can too. To read that there are actually people in the comments with a loving family is really nice. Cause honestly I know so many messed up people I didnt think that a bright side exists. That normal, loving, caring families are just in books and films. So thanks for sharing! Even more for watching these videos, taking them seriously and being thankful for what they had/have in life.

@dhaifullahdzaky57

2 жыл бұрын

I envy u

I'm a pleaser but I always have to stop people from fighting. Especially two girl fighting for love and I often have to comfort them. But I still can't stop smiling and always feel happy when people are around when they weren't around I felt nothing and often get angry for simple things. But I love your videos, this help me understand others more than how I understand myself.

When you started describing the pleaser, i started to tear up because it was SO relatable

When I do something wrong my mom always brings up her childhood like "you know when I was a kid we didint have these" or "in my childhood we never talked back we just listen" and I'm like it's not a competition I need help and not your problems that you felt with as a child

@angelacavon9256

4 жыл бұрын

mina lor yeah my mom and dad are exactly like that.😂😂😂🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️ In fact...my brothers are like that to 😂😂 they are actually claim I’m a spoiled person and I get whatever I want whenever I want (which isn’t true 😂😂🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️) so they are jealous and keep saying, “when we were your age we never got phones, a computer OR a dog! HMPH!” 😂😂😂

@Karincl7

4 жыл бұрын

Maybe but they re not super humans, they only have their own experience to offer

@sugakookiesss189

4 жыл бұрын

I know right. Then they say they have more knowledge, that theyre the parent. Ha sure, yet i go therapy and you still dont realize your doing anything wrong, despite my efforts to bring it up.

@syee797

4 жыл бұрын

Haha my mom do the same lol

@rainsolosmud9196

4 жыл бұрын

every parent I know does that

This vid should be called “your defense mechanism style.”

@KuroiShiAnimu

4 жыл бұрын

I spit poison from my eyes for up to 6 feet when in danger

@_Beta-

4 жыл бұрын

Gun

@Iucebowel

4 жыл бұрын

@@_Beta- *Pumped Up Kicks Starts Playing*

@_Beta-

4 жыл бұрын

@@Iucebowel a hostage situation is still technically a relationship

@Iucebowel

4 жыл бұрын

@@_Beta- Stockholm syndrome much?

So I am the reason I'm a pleaser. I grew up with learning disabilities; I always felt like a failure and beat myself up and hated it. So I want to please everyone to prove I can be someone. I am very self-critical. I probably hate conflict because I am already in battle with myself, so I want others to like me. I get more joy when I make others happy and when others do nice things for me because I love making others proud. After all, I'm not proud of myself. So the problem is my mindset (for the record, when I first wrote that sentence, I wrote the problem as proof that I need to change how I see myself, but it is easy to say but harder to do.)

I'm a mix. My attachment style is a product of chaos, moving, a mentally ill parent who was supportive and loving in general but failed in creating a stable home life, getting me the right medical treatment and realizing that the 'ghosts' she saw were intense and frequent hallucinations from bipolar disorder that wasn't helped by her PTSD. She tried to show that she loves us but in many ways wasn't able to or capable of doing it the ways it was needed and wanted Mine is also a product of other childhood experiences with other children and bullies. Of learning to not get attached to classmates, not make friends much and stay distant because often I would get hurt and that there wasn't much of a point anyway because we would just move again. (13 different elementary schools folks). At a young age I learned to observe and analyze other people's behaviors for specific emotions and how they interacted socially. So I could be ready to duck out or prepare to mediate/soothe very quickly to reduce or avoid conflict. I wasn't really able to stand up for myself until I was an adult aside from some very loud and direct outbursts and dressing downs. I still struggle with it in various ways. And it's primarily due to years of therapy and getting my own mental health under better control that I'm even functioning. At times I've even managed to thrive, grow, advance and move my life forward. But there's always an undercurrent of me just feeling like I'm barely treading water. (Health issues have not aided in the attempting to swim part ether) I don't know how to handle things when they aren't chaotic, I've gotten better over the years. But when you're molded by chaos, you can't switch it off. I push people away when they get too close and run away/react in some manner when they or the life I share with them becomes stable for 'too' long because it inherently scares me to lose them on someone else's terms or influence. And I just realized that's what happened with a couple long term relationships. There were other factors involved in the demise of them, but until this comment I hadn't fully realized or pieced together this even with Therapy. Good thing I got back into it recently.

my mom: *cries* me, apparently a pleaser: mom dont cry im sure everything will work out you have me and my brother dont worry me: *cries* my mom: what are you crying for!? you want a real reason to cry!?! i mean, i dont want to play a victim or something, i know that my mom doesnt have an easy life and i shouldnt complain, but it really makes me sad when she reacts this way

@fatemehhosseini305

3 жыл бұрын

You're right. We people should understand that no matter what age we are, we have our special problems.

@YoshAnims

3 жыл бұрын

you are not playing victim. Your feelings are valid and you should tell your mom that she needs to respect them

@y0utub3r18

3 жыл бұрын

That's a horrible thing for a parent to say to a child.

@ookipuki

3 жыл бұрын

You're attitude and understanding about that is very... Pleasing! ... Please never change . You are very sweet . You should not have to deal with that . Maybe write yoir mom.a nice letter on how that makes you feel. Or , talk to a good friend. I love my parent certain but I was never allowed to cry .. it would be o we very upsetting issues too like death.... very bizzare how people act this way . We MUST not become them . Continue to be loving and sweet or else the cycle will continue

@davidharrell8890

3 жыл бұрын

Sounds just like my mom! 😨😰

I have traits of the pleaser, vacillator and avoider all at the same time. Two words: 'Asian parents'.

@alexhacker7606

4 жыл бұрын

純ジュン *sigh* me too.. bro... me too

@yennhichu

4 жыл бұрын

I feel you

@kittenmeow1592

4 жыл бұрын

I have the same traits as you, except I also have the trait of The Victim. Asian Parents help us school-wise, but not mentally or emotionally.

@makaihana975

4 жыл бұрын

@@kittenmeow1592 A wild Pachirisu Appeared!!

@26a-helainarellama68

4 жыл бұрын

I feel ya. Same here bruh.

I really appreciate these kind of videos. Keep going you guys are amazing!

This video gave clarity to my young adult life, thank you

Good afternoon everyone, I just wanted to state that I feel personally attacked.

@behindart2785

4 жыл бұрын

Me too😭if you want to, we can press charges together.

@snowyhappiness5

4 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂😂

@pearblossom1390

4 жыл бұрын

@@nich9356 🤣🤣🤣🤣

@pearblossom1390

4 жыл бұрын

@@behindart2785 👍🥰

@pearblossom1390

4 жыл бұрын

@@snowyhappiness5 🤣🤣🤣

I’m only 2 minutes in and I feel extremely called out.

@kukiliousbabe

4 жыл бұрын

Same lol

@saucyurgranny1737

4 жыл бұрын

Ahhh same 😩

@milothefirst8765

4 жыл бұрын

m e

I was bullied at school and my parents weren’t there for me. I absolutely see me in the pleaser role but I don’t see it as the baddest thing. I was there for my parents and had to take care of them. That was terrible… but today I’m there for my friends and I go to therapy so it’s in a good measure- I hope. Still learning. But I also see me a little bit in other roles.

@jeffprice1756

11 ай бұрын

Same with me. All I ever want to do is help, drove my wife nuts. I get really hurt when I'm not wanted or needed to to help.

The pleaser, no doubt 💔😭 When I have children, I`m gonna make sure to give them all the affection, comfort and patience they`ll need and so much more💞 Plus given I have ADHD. Thank you so much for this.

When I was younger, i used to say sorry alot. Even when the person said its fine, I would still say sorry.

@bigjug4420

3 жыл бұрын

I still do that.ireally hate myself but i tell myself its ok

@yummyness7578

3 жыл бұрын

Hahaha that is me 🤣🤣🤣

@alexandrachirila1917

3 жыл бұрын

Samee 🙏🏼

@nope3137

3 жыл бұрын

Same!

@songmincarmenchan

3 жыл бұрын

Hmm same;

I love the tiny plant on the head it's so adorable

@cynzix

5 жыл бұрын

Chikorita

@omrumoner772

5 жыл бұрын

I thought that was a hat with that spinning thing on it

@ryfrz

5 жыл бұрын

its true, i still have the plant on my head.

@Psych2go

5 жыл бұрын

So glad you loved the little details! :D

@oogachaka3447

5 жыл бұрын

It takes a fertilizer to grow a plant efficiently, doesn't it? fertilizer aka manure aka shit aka feces

I’m part vacillator and part pleaser. I’ve always had the fear of being abandoned by friends and love interests, so I go out of my way to get people to like me. I feel like if a girl I’ve been talking to starts to avoid me, it’s my fault somehow. I’ve suffered from low self esteem, and trust issues. Some people I thought were my friends turned out to be really toxic.

The victim is exactly my situation

@simalsiddiqui

Жыл бұрын

same same samee

The pleaser made me cry 😢, I seen a part of myself 😭🌟✨

@pandabear1136

3 жыл бұрын

Ikr

@user-np2xo9kb9x

3 жыл бұрын

Same

@catlover9547

3 жыл бұрын

I feel bad from you 🥺

@dougnutdaisy9822

3 жыл бұрын

I'm the pleaser

@ahmedelbna6085

3 жыл бұрын

I hate my old brother

*1. Pleaser:* over protective parents, avoids conflict, tries to please everyone, flees from relationships when they feel like they can't do well *2. Victim:* chaotic home, find respite in imaginary world, low esteem, uncomfortable when there's calmness, tend to marry abusers Controller: need to be in control always to protect themselves, use anger as a weapon, rigid tendencies, dont like to step out of their comfort zone, do everything on own *4.Vacillator:* inconsistent parental affection, fear of abandonment, idealise new relationships, feel misunderstood, sensitive and perceptive, *5. Avoider:* learn to take care of themselves at a young age, little to no comfort from parents, need space, rely on logic, should open up more

@helldronez

4 жыл бұрын

you forgot to write 3. 😂😂😂

@reginaldinoenchillada3513

4 жыл бұрын

Is 3 controller? Yes I just heard it.

@Mnvc24

4 жыл бұрын

Happy Poop no he didnt actually. Look better

@jumbodog5955

4 жыл бұрын

What if you’ve gone through all of that on the regular ? ...Asking for a friend, Lol😂

@claire6854

4 жыл бұрын

Im 4 and 3

Don’t forget that people are complicated, and almost all people have a combination of each of these areas, with unique issues and personalities

I'm literally all of these except for controller. Didn't really think my childhood was bad, but I can for sure remember some events where it turned me into the way I am

learning how my mom’s own childhood trauma turned her into a controller which turned me into a pleaser. hoping everyone is getting the mental help they need 💛

@meghas5124

2 жыл бұрын

same with me but my dad is the controller

@TheWizardApple

2 жыл бұрын

I've been turned into a vacillator with bits of controller :(

@TheWizardApple

2 жыл бұрын

@@meghas5124 oof :(

@hayattkhaire3644

2 жыл бұрын

me too! :(

@Enigmaticfigure

2 жыл бұрын

This is exactly what happened to me

I'm a Pleaser. I want everybody around me to be happy and oftentimes forget about my own happiness.

@adrijanc.8816

5 жыл бұрын

Same. One of the first steps for me is to learn how to say no. I still didn't fully learn it tbh.

@Imabird4real

4 жыл бұрын

Look, do what YOU want and let other people to do what THEY want...

@salr9149

4 жыл бұрын

Same. Though, i’m only a pleaser to my friends. When I don’t like them I don’t care if they leave. But if I do, It’s basically the opposite of wanting them gone.

@luvmorrisey20

4 жыл бұрын

Don’t do it anymore. I’m 39 and are miserable. You need to do you!!! 😞

@cleezthecleexzyangel128

4 жыл бұрын

No be happy for me Plz ;~;

I am everyone you have mentioned here. I people-please, I push people away, I get angry when things don't go my way and I have unrealistic expectations. I grew up with both parents abusive in their own ways. One was physically and verbally abusive, one was verbally and emotionally abusive. Both were financially and psychology abusive. It hurts me a lot to have to heal from all types of abuse alone. I can't have friends cause I attract people who are just like my parents in one way or the other. Even in relationships, but I know there is a reason for all this. One day I will heal and be the best mother I always keep imagining in my head to my beautiful little princess. 🤗

Im a pleaser and victim. My Mom was super rude and pretty much self centered. She would always force me to do things when I was tired, sick, or even doing something. The second I ask her to do something for me..She says "I can't do 1,000 things at once." My dad though, was nice and more understanding. He would do things with me my mom never did. He would take me out to eat, go to the park, play games with me! Even if we were just taking a car ride I loved going with him. Im still super greatful for my family as I am adopted. If I weren't adopted by them I could be possibly living under a bride.

I used to be a pleaser but I am slowly changing out of it. Saying no is a very important skill to learn

@Psych2go

5 жыл бұрын

What strategies are you practicing to break the loop?

@haru4328

5 жыл бұрын

Same here

@dosujiame9591

5 жыл бұрын

I wish I could do the same..

@haru4328

5 жыл бұрын

@@dosujiame9591 Hey, don't give up on hope! I'm sure you can. It's a slow process, but you can do it. I believe in you.

I kinda hate the fact that my parents made me this insecure, needy, ... what bothers me the most is that they don't even realise it. I think i belong mostly in the pleaser but i can relate to all roles

@Jaxie-zz8cf

4 жыл бұрын

What's even worse is that so many ppl are in the same situation...

@klaasvk8365

4 жыл бұрын

@@croatiangambler8059 thanks bro

@lucentestella

4 жыл бұрын

I couldn't agree more. My advise is to forgive them for everything they ever done to you even if they can't realise the damage they have caused. I know it's super hard. But forgiving them, will help you let go of the past and look for the future. BUT forgiving doesn't mean that you should expect anything from your parents and in my opinion never go back to them as live with them etc. Much love ❤❤

@coco_princessgacha6752

4 жыл бұрын

DutchShitMusic Same, sometimes it’s hard....I find It very hard. But we need to stay strong and brave and help others. I have had a lot of trouble in the past but, I got through it. You can too just stay safe and brave!💗

@scarletwilliamson9059

4 жыл бұрын

yeah me too

Sorry is my most said word and now I realize why people say that’s a bad thing

This is fantastic. I feel like crying. I really appreciate this…👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼✅

I want to be a psychologist and I'll help kids. This is my ONLY dream. I hope I can realize.

@bowsor

3 жыл бұрын

Go for it! What's stopping you?

@awesomestrawberry1348

3 жыл бұрын

Yaparsın kardeş 🖐️

@Alyssa_aria

3 жыл бұрын

All the best!

@mysticdegenerate8003

3 жыл бұрын

@@Alyssa_aria pfp

@hummingbird9221

3 жыл бұрын

Don't "hope"....DO!! I didn't earn my nursing degree until I was 36.....it is always possible!

*1. The Pleaser* *2. The Victim* *3. The Controller* *4. The Vacillator* *5. The Avoider*

@Orange6921

2 жыл бұрын

WTF? Not a single one of these were and example of a loving and nurturing childhood. And I know there are plenty of us out there as well.

@contrite451

2 жыл бұрын

@@Orange6921 it's good you got that

@Flybaby333

2 жыл бұрын

@@Orange6921 good for you! You probably don't need a psychological assessment of your relationship style then

@Coco-www

2 жыл бұрын

Idk what I am ?

@robolastiff9049

2 жыл бұрын

1 for me

i’m definitely the pleaser i always feel like i have to make everyone happy and be good with everyone. in relationships i just go with what the other person wants

I already know I'm a pleasure as soon as you said the details I knew I was!

The vacillated text bubble “why have you been avoiding me” hit like a train

@flesh4513

3 жыл бұрын

Nvm realized I’m avoiding people and I’m not changing for anything less than a hug

@thewanderingchelmet

3 жыл бұрын

kzread.info/dash/bejne/qIJ-0LGfqcvdldI.html

@alysonmasterson1848

3 жыл бұрын

Same ❤️

@bumbastickbubblegum

3 жыл бұрын

Ya I'm definitely a vacillator

@nat5874

3 жыл бұрын

same

“The worse thing a parent can do is forget there childhood” -mr. Rogers

@P1nkBl0od

3 жыл бұрын

Not to be that person but it's been drilled into my head by my mom.. Its their*

@CarolinHauser

3 жыл бұрын

that's a good reminder

@hwlsgrl

3 жыл бұрын

I dont get this

@kaylabrooks5705

3 жыл бұрын

@@hwlsgrl basically they’re saying that parents need to remember all the good and bad things that happen to them as a child and try to use that to make the best experience possible for their kids

@hwlsgrl

3 жыл бұрын

@@kaylabrooks5705 Ohh okay

i think the victim,controller and the avoider are the most accurate for me.i grew up in a messed up family where whenever i started yelling my parents would beat me up.they would scream and fight every single day,they still do. these days i actually am trying to speak up but doe to my dad,i become angry very often. i never grew up with “caring” parents,when i was a kid the only wish i’ve ever had was getting any recognisation or support in school, these days i am trying to learn everything myself. one thing i am so sorry about is that,when i was a child,i dealt with my sisters the same way my dad did with me and my older sister. i am scared of getting along with people bc i would affect them too. my childhood traumas are still in me and i got depression,social anxiety and more

Yup u relate to the most of these I did get a lot of attention but did things by myself. Thanks, I didn't realize this before. I'll take care of life before it's too late.

the fact that i am every single one of these styles shows how fucked up my childhood really was.

@ShrimpFry_Cute

2 жыл бұрын

Me too I have like nearly all the traits but the most I relate to are, the victim, the avoider, the pleaser

@yuuhi7452

2 жыл бұрын

same here. i hope youre getting by! we have it rough

@corpsepuppy427

2 жыл бұрын

eee whatever. mah dude

@dreamersince08

2 жыл бұрын

same lol

@kiantescottgehris1442

2 жыл бұрын

@@ShrimpFry_Cute me too. I feel like the avoider more describes my social life than my romantic one lol

*when you’re “the avoider” because receiving affection makes you extremely uncomfortable and you don’t know how to deal with others emotions* huh. 🙃

@patch555

4 жыл бұрын

Bruh, I think this is the most relatable thing in this comment section.

@hyperkitty6000

4 жыл бұрын

ye

@thirdkidney2223

4 жыл бұрын

*When you are Shinji*

@nonexistentuser3420

4 жыл бұрын

Too relatable 😔

@confleis3587

4 жыл бұрын

Jeje your Snufkin pfp says a lot

My upbringing was based on 'be nice, be good or nobody will like you' My parents meant well but they had their own issues as far as avoiding confrontation. I wasnt given guidance or brought up to have confidence and self worth. If i ever expressed any other emotion apart from being happy, i was made to feel guilty and not a nice person. So i became a pleaser and i use to create lies to make me sound more interesting so people would like me. This all made my life difficult to navigate. Im in my 50s now and still struggle at times but have learned many lessons and realisations along the way