What has helped you most with overcoming people pleasing as an INFJ?

@raft115

7 ай бұрын

Subconsciously or not everything has a place from minerals to plants , animals to birds, great people to small people all of these teach me that when it is time to help I help and when it is time to fight I fight ✨💥

@rayofsun9898

7 ай бұрын

people hadn’t cherish my empathy and my logic so I got breakdown and found out that they were hopeless. I’d rather help people who really want me. Not everyone deserved understanding in my past. That was not something complicated to do, tbh. (perhaps i’m saying this because my nervous system hadn’t stood it.)

@JT-cf5ol

7 ай бұрын

Constantly dealing with a sociopath narcissist and their sycophantic flying monkeys has put me over the edge. I no longer feel obligated to suffer through anybody else’s stupidity or their malicious Hellbound behavior

@zaboomafia

7 ай бұрын

Practicing saying "No" first or "I have something else planned".

@DearYoungerSelf111

7 ай бұрын

Your videos on this subject has helped (had no prior awareness of this) - for me (maybe in true INFJ style) I am curious of the mechanism before I change - and Wenzes has preached that we do not have to know all of the why but the sheer feeling that a relationship is not right or the feeling of not being treated right and most importantly we do not have to extend grace when someone crosses a boundary ONE time - basically she gave me/us permission to choose us IN SPITE of us not having all the data - and so now - when my stomach twinges I listen - I can trust my gut '

The fact that I'm not getting anything good in return. Sometimes it's best not to socialize, rather than spending time or appeasing the wrong people.

@vincentkretzschmar4988

7 ай бұрын

So good to hear people that think the same way

@japanesereadingandwriting

7 ай бұрын

Stay away from highly narcissistic people.

@fade680

7 ай бұрын

I agree… I have people that are close to me and it’s a fair friendship as well as a few family members. I don’t let just anyone get close to me anymore, it has to be earned and proven.

Don’t you just love it when a video comes out and it’s exactly what you need in your life at the moment?

@ambraiezzi5037

6 ай бұрын

I do. 💙

@jennifergraham5615

5 ай бұрын

Absolutely! Great video: Great timing!

We don't have to tolerate everyone. Done

@krislee5343

7 ай бұрын

Wow. That is so simple but powerful! 😮

I have always withdrawn from toxic people for self-protection. But after listening to this, I am determined to make my feelings known. It’s a more empowered space to be in. Thank you again Wenzes.

I am really suffering with this socially, I am practicing how to say no and be ok with it

~ READ THIS EVERY MORNING • U don't need to worry about the things which u can't control (circle of concern), U don't need to plan everything, U don't need to give meaning to everything, U aren't responsible for others. • We don't have to do so many things, but few Ri8 things! • Do Sth that comes u out of Comfort Zone , but doesn't Overwhelm u! • Life is Journey, Follow the Process...... • Focus on Improvement (Progress over Perfection) • Be Patient, its ok to move slow, Just keep Doing!

@fade680

7 ай бұрын

“You are not responsible for others” is so true!!! People are adults and we get to choose our lives and experiences…

@Estranger344

7 ай бұрын

@@fade680 Yup!

Setting BOUNDARIES was the most difficult thing I had to overcome in counseling. I didn't realize how much I've neglected myself for other peoples wants and needs until I said the magic word "NO". What we INFJ's will find out is that once you put yourself FIRST, the people you've been saying YES to all these years will then start saying "You've changed!" "usually you would do xyz" etc.

@meenatchi9552

7 ай бұрын

So true.. i also heard this like you have changed..

it's official! You've said, "we can do hard things" enough that several times this week the words have crossed my mind. I appreciate you & this 10-part series enormously!! ❤

working with or being surrounded by sociopaths, narcissists and sycophants really helped to reduce my concern for helping others, especially those with cluster "B" personality disorders and their flying monkeys.

I’m the type to pretty much give in if someone or family needs a few bucks. After giving in, I realize that I probably pitched in towards their weed habit and/or beer, and now I’m annoyed with myself lol. I’m getting much better with boundaries and there’s nothing wrong with being cold. You won’t lose your empath powers, morals, or values for saying “no” and I need to keep that mindset 😄.

@fade680

7 ай бұрын

Yeap… they are taking advantage of your compassion. No is a complete sentence.

I remember having an experience very similar to what you described with your coworker, and unfortunately, I didn't know a lot of the things that I've since learned from listening to your videos. But I do know the importance of having boundaries set. I appreciated your emphasizing that it isn't always easy to do emotionally. We often get the impression that we're supposed to be able to handle this with a lot of sophistication and confidence, but when everything is said and done, we do need to set up our boundaries, whether we feel confident or not. It occurred to me that thinking through boundary setting and how to make it work would be a good thing to write out so as to think about it more clearly. Perhaps that could help emotionally, even when it's not easy to do

It’s self betrayal. I’m not betraying myself anymore

Some of THE most important lessons an INFJ has to realize, accept and practice on!! 🙏❤️ Game and Life changer!! 💯

As an LGBT INFJ with 4w5, setting boundaries to people is really difficult for me bc I feel like I'm going to be selfish to them, those guilty and regret feelings start to come up in a sense where I try to keep myself small in order to keep the harmony that i know deep down it's a no-no situation. When you develop a mindset of "i had no other choice, I need to put myself first, face those uncomfortable feelings, understand that this will take time. In the end, it will get easier if keep doing this things over and over again. Thank you wenzes for the insightful and intelligent advice on how to glow up on hermit mode ❤️❤️🔥🔥

Really needed to hear this today. Thank you Wenzes. ❤

I swear this was essentially my tarot reading for the day. This is everything I needed to hear right at this moment. Bless. 🙏🏼

I had to learn about boundaries consciously afterward. Hard stuff.

Yep. It is nice to just flow. The wrong people will stall you. Cut those types folks loose as to be kind to yourself.

I much rather be confronted then judged wrongly by loved ones then ghosted by them. Specially during really hard times. It makes it not as easy to feel free to keep speaking your mind authentically until we realize that our actions are doing the talking for us. The rewards are so worth it. Being resilient is growth 💪✌️❤️

Thank you again, Wenzes. I appreciate your efforts and willing to help. I would say, put the knowledge and theory in practical, reality is really something takes time and thinking work. It does pay back the positive results. I also like to add the way, from another studies of mine, to help INFJs to deal with people. Simply say, I borrow from game theory, that for long term relationships, it is not wise to make trouble to others and things go around. So in some cases, I raise the question, soft and calmly, something liked " We are in long term relationships and we should find ways to be win win for both (or all), It is about compromising. If anyone go too far or being in bad way, its not good for all of us" something liked that, also with the options of broken the relationships we hold. In my experience, it works, but need to play smartly.

@laughatmewithmebymeornotla9328

7 ай бұрын

My motto 😁 always been for the benefit of ALL 🤨 So walking away always worked wonders 😂😂😂 Until I got married 😅 Now learning to still have it Be for the benefit of ALL without fleeing 😊which has been a blessing in disguised 🤓😇😎 to say the least 🥰 After enduring always seems to work on my favor hahaha Before Margie I endured NOTHING 🤨🙄🧐 I mean was not married or have kids so why bother 😂😂😂 Hahaha

The blessed Sigma 👻✍️👑 love's you guys stay amazing and enjoy your gift.♥️🐺🤪😁 stowic mind set 😜😉💓

@GMacII

7 ай бұрын

Stoic

@laughatmewithmebymeornotla9328

7 ай бұрын

❤❤❤😅😊

Really need to implement this immediately

I think this will be the most important and difficult step for me. Thanks!

This series is super helpful.

Thanks!

この番組が大好きです！

💕💕

Limitations

You MUST have a direct contakt whit our (INFJ 's) mothership 🤷‍♂️please take mee home 😢

@iamapretzel

7 ай бұрын

😂

Return 2 Zelda, witch!