How To Have "Perfect" Social Skills

Тәжірибелік нұсқаулар және стиль

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Graham Norton has what many people would consider their ideal charisma - for two reasons.
One, Graham Norton doesn’t need to hog the spotlight in order to shine. And two, Graham Norton seems to have the ability to make ANYONE like him. From rockstars to movie stars to professional athletes, people from all walks of life seem to love being around him.
So today we’re going to talk about a 4 step formula that Graham Norton uses to make people love him even while he teases them, and how you can use it to make yourself both funnier and more well liked.
0:34 Graham Norton creates a warm and positive connection
1:26 Graham Norton compliments especially on Graham Norton Show
2:55 How to be funnier and how to make people like you
5:33 How to use banter and teasing to get everyone on the same level
9:00 Graham Norton does the art of self deprecation
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Пікірлер: 1 300

  • @Grimm472
    @Grimm4726 жыл бұрын

    Learning to socialize is like learning a foreign language from scratch.

  • @suaptoest

    @suaptoest

    5 жыл бұрын

    You nailed it! I just thought that there's much to change before he would become popular here. First of all, new body language!

  • @aviozstudio4903

    @aviozstudio4903

    5 жыл бұрын

    exactly

  • @milenamijuskovic2340

    @milenamijuskovic2340

    5 жыл бұрын

    @@suaptoest verbs

  • @lia-ww2fp

    @lia-ww2fp

    5 жыл бұрын

    I feel attacked

  • @dancechica

    @dancechica

    5 жыл бұрын

    It certainly feels that way to me

  • @sabahaltaf2285
    @sabahaltaf22855 жыл бұрын

    Jimmy Fallon never clicked on a video so fast

  • @HaloLvl43Legit

    @HaloLvl43Legit

    5 жыл бұрын

    Exactly what I was thinking. It's like he's a robot trying to emulate this, but failing. He just fake laughs at everything and tries to force jokes and compliments. It all feels artificial.

  • @KaylaSaysRawwr

    @KaylaSaysRawwr

    4 жыл бұрын

    I love me some jimmy fallen but I don’t hate on his awkwardness to be honest I just think he’s some awkward dude bad at jokes who managed to climb up in the interview world so not fake but good for him getting there. Amazing accomplishment for someone who may struggle with being funny or whatever

  • @HBSuccess

    @HBSuccess

    4 жыл бұрын

    Absolute consummate phony, or at least that is how he comes off. I can't watch The Tonight Show anymore (Grew up with Carson.. Liked Leno....Liked Connan...)

  • @AGFuzzyPancake

    @AGFuzzyPancake

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@KaylaSaysRawwr It sure is amazing for him. It'd be an amazing if I were the president too but like Jimmy Fallon I'm not amazing for the people.

  • @Pos608

    @Pos608

    4 жыл бұрын

    LMFAOOOO

  • @louisefox4852
    @louisefox48525 жыл бұрын

    Graham Norton is a genuinely nice guy. Being genuine is really, really important. And he's sharp and clever. He's not forced, he's spontaneous.

  • @johnevans9665

    @johnevans9665

    4 жыл бұрын

    errrrm I met him lol hes not that nice to non-famous people

  • @louisefox4852

    @louisefox4852

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@johnevans9665 that's such a pity! So sorry to hear that! Maybe you caught him on an 'off' day?!

  • @johnevans9665

    @johnevans9665

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@louisefox4852 well yes I can imagine it would be really annoying if everyone knew you but you dodnt know them lol

  • @louisefox4852

    @louisefox4852

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@johnevans9665 yes, not sure if I could cope with that to be honest!

  • @lisahannah5675

    @lisahannah5675

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@johnevans9665 As someone who works in the UK entertainment industry, I can vouch for that too. Important thing to remember is that he's *paid* to be endearing on his show to his guests. It's not a barometer for how he is in real life. He's not the worst by far out there though.

  • @micha781000
    @micha7810005 жыл бұрын

    1 Warm friendly vibe, smile, touch, compliment based on accomplishment 2 humor, and make them feel you get them, laugh along with other's joke more time listening than speaking 3 playfull teasing gives a familiar feeling (dont attack identity, dont tease about something that can not be changed). Best if earlier before, a compliment. 4 listens intently and focused, let the other talk. To be intersting by being intetested, eyecontact

  • @gxrsky

    @gxrsky

    4 жыл бұрын

    Micha Vlijmen, van I always look for that kind of comment, thx

  • @lanellmalone3023

    @lanellmalone3023

    4 жыл бұрын

    Thx

  • @dluque35

    @dluque35

    4 жыл бұрын

    Love these. Feel like people nowadays try to WIN over the room and impose power, rather than feeling the vibe out and making everyone feel comfortable. :) need more people like this in the world GVO baby

  • @ladyslick121

    @ladyslick121

    4 жыл бұрын

    i love you. thank you for this

  • @PinupSticknerd

    @PinupSticknerd

    3 ай бұрын

    Appreciate u sir 🫡

  • @BalancedEarth
    @BalancedEarth6 жыл бұрын

    I'd like to see a video about someone doing the exact opposite of charisma and breaking apart how they could have improved. Whether that be a character from a movie or an actual interview.

  • @mostlyvoid04

    @mostlyvoid04

    6 жыл бұрын

    yes!!

  • @ProdbyLex849

    @ProdbyLex849

    6 жыл бұрын

    Watch the Will Smith vs Jaden Smith video

  • @merlinohtwotwooh7777

    @merlinohtwotwooh7777

    6 жыл бұрын

    That would actually be really cool to see, even if its a character I'd love to see them break down ways to improve charisma in the moment.

  • @Alex-ki1yr

    @Alex-ki1yr

    6 жыл бұрын

    WhirlwindSkies +

  • @vaibhavguptawho

    @vaibhavguptawho

    6 жыл бұрын

    I think they have a Ned Stark video that does what you're asking for.

  • @samuelvoges1383
    @samuelvoges13833 жыл бұрын

    Great video which is worth watching A small summary: 1. Create a warm positive connection at the beginning of the interaction 1. Smile and touch (search for little hints/Hinweise how the person likes to be greeted/welcomed) 2. Make others feel good with complement based on their accomplishment 2. Made others lough 1. Use a wide range of vocal tonality and emotional expression to get a lough 2. Laughing along with someone else’s jokes (you make them feel like you’re listening to them) remember that laughter and happiness are habits that you can cultivate 3. Combining achievement-based compliments the person is proud of, playful teases and self deprecating jokes you can tease people while they lough and love you. 1. Whoever you’re teasing should be laughing along with you 2. By playfully giving each other a hard time you immediately create a familiar feeling 3. Be careful don’t attack someones identity and don’t tease something that is unchangeable and important to them 4. Set the stage by making a sincere complement and you are able to tease little things without offending anyone 5. Dont make yourself the but of every joke 4. Be an active listener Dale Carnegie „to be interesting, be interested"

  • @Danik0301987
    @Danik03019876 жыл бұрын

    no the first step Graham does is gets his guests drunk.

  • @u00drk1

    @u00drk1

    6 жыл бұрын

    Yeah, he was on Colbert's show recently and admitted that's how he gets people to talk.

  • @MrALHADE

    @MrALHADE

    6 жыл бұрын

    Kazakh Gamer "does is gets" - RIP English

  • @aminab6075

    @aminab6075

    6 жыл бұрын

    Yet it can't be denied that Graham has an extremely likeable, charismatic and witty personality. Anyway, its not like he's forcing the drinks down their throats! His mentioning of 'liquoring them up' on Colbert's show was a bit of light, British humour which seems to have been awfully misinterpreted within the short time since he was interviewed.

  • @ohhifart1106

    @ohhifart1106

    6 жыл бұрын

    hahaha nailed it! there's also drinks backstage ;)

  • @Achw3l

    @Achw3l

    6 жыл бұрын

    u00drk1 That's just another self deprecating joke lol

  • @ch-p2861
    @ch-p28616 жыл бұрын

    Graham Norton is definitely the best talk show host in the world.

  • @vickirosstudor490

    @vickirosstudor490

    5 жыл бұрын

    :-p :-D mmmm...no.

  • @PeopleHealthTru

    @PeopleHealthTru

    5 жыл бұрын

    Best in the world if you want the whole world to act homosexual. It's called homosexual flirting, not 'charisma.' He's not a 'magnetic' or desirable mate to a normal person.

  • @abraham8565

    @abraham8565

    5 жыл бұрын

    @@PeopleHealthTru what do you mean by that?

  • @lavienestpasunlongfleuvetr2559

    @lavienestpasunlongfleuvetr2559

    5 жыл бұрын

    @@abraham8565 what he means is that he's a troll - probably typed his comment from his parents' basement, which he hasn't left in years, lol.

  • @M0kki

    @M0kki

    5 жыл бұрын

    @@vickirosstudor490 mmmm...yes.

  • @goodgirl140
    @goodgirl1406 жыл бұрын

    I've been waiting for you guys to do Graham Norton for a while now! He is the most witty and likable person I know. Love him!

  • @HotStrange

    @HotStrange

    6 жыл бұрын

    goodgirl140 indeed! Didn't take me long to become obsessed with his show either.

  • @figotlatenby588

    @figotlatenby588

    6 жыл бұрын

    Currently watching him right now.

  • @jakubgruda354

    @jakubgruda354

    6 жыл бұрын

    goodgirl140 You actually know Graham Norton? What's he like?

  • @CommenceComments

    @CommenceComments

    6 жыл бұрын

    How long have you known him?

  • @octaviancaesarhibernicus4447

    @octaviancaesarhibernicus4447

    6 жыл бұрын

    goodgirl140 I wonder is he shown in America,?

  • @popland1977
    @popland19776 жыл бұрын

    I think a LOT of Irish people are naturally friendly, complimentary and seek out humour and therefore are widely liked. The accents of Ireland are also very musical so he changes his pitch a lot

  • @MomasBoyOnline

    @MomasBoyOnline

    6 жыл бұрын

    Pop Land I'm Irish and can confirm that characters like Graham are very common here, just from my colleagues alone I can think of three of them that could easily engage anyone in the same way Graham does. However, Graham seems to lightly tease people here but in reality the Irish can actually be very harsh in teasing each other so we grow immune to taking offence and learn to laugh things off. It's to the point that many tourists and migrants here even question if we're being malicious but it's really all l said "for the craic" and not meant to really cause hurt or offence

  • @octaviancaesarhibernicus4447

    @octaviancaesarhibernicus4447

    6 жыл бұрын

    Pop Land I don't know you're nationality but here in Ireland we have what's called "craic",which is having a good time, usually by friends making jokes at other friends expense,and receiving as good as you give. It's part of our culture and it usually happens when we get drunk, well it does when me and my mates get drunk, I shouldn't speak for everyone .

  • @wcgcjd

    @wcgcjd

    6 жыл бұрын

    No not really

  • @cathalsurfs

    @cathalsurfs

    5 жыл бұрын

    You're on the ball there girl! Fair play to ye! :)

  • @Toven_WaveWatcherFi

    @Toven_WaveWatcherFi

    5 жыл бұрын

    Yeah, aslo funny how a huge number of friendly charcthers in games/movies have irish accents. It really helps.

  • @earl-grey-milk-tea
    @earl-grey-milk-tea6 жыл бұрын

    Can you do more videos on charismatic women, please? A lot of your videos focus on male speakers/personalities and some of the humour or techniques that they use work better in a 'bro' setting or don't always come across well when delivered by a woman - there's something in that society also likes women to be refined and polite. There's a lot of women who don't necessarily use humour all the time, but manage to command respect and have that sense of magnetism around them - some of the TED speakers come to mind as an easy example.

  • @mel818

    @mel818

    6 жыл бұрын

    The one about Adele is amazing!

  • @benjaminaltman4895

    @benjaminaltman4895

    6 жыл бұрын

    Hi C! Absolutely plan to do more women as well as men. Our most popular video ever is actually on Ellen Degeneres. Did you like the recent one on Margaery Tyrell?

  • @TheBlurr12

    @TheBlurr12

    6 жыл бұрын

    Benjamin Altman Tina Fey please!

  • @sassymedea3065

    @sassymedea3065

    6 жыл бұрын

    Jenna Gray Its British banter its all in good fun.

  • @kokolatte825

    @kokolatte825

    6 жыл бұрын

    C that's such a great comment! I was thinking the whole time about how to apply these steps to my own life as a woman and I don't think they will translate as well. Especially with "touching" without coming across as flirty and joking which I think comes across as witty for men and "bitchy" for women.

  • @chilliard120
    @chilliard1206 жыл бұрын

    Graham Norton is, hands down, better than any other talk show host currently on TV. And I'm including the U.S. in that, because his show feels so genuine and he seems like he's having a genuine conversation with each and every one of his guests. Top video, well done guys!

  • @alyxisfuentes6596
    @alyxisfuentes65962 жыл бұрын

    My stepson is 14 and entering the realm of being included in more conversations involving adults. This has been helpful for him. As often he’s the youngest, these tips are helpful to remind him he has plenty to offer a conversation

  • @earl-grey-milk-tea
    @earl-grey-milk-tea6 жыл бұрын

    Would like to add that in the bit about reading body language, in both cases Graham approaches with his hand held slightly out to be ready for a handshake. He notices Josh Widdicombe coming in with shoulders slightly more forward (more awkward) and with his hand outstretched, therefore he uses the handshake + back pat (caveat - back patting doesn't work so well if you're female). Jeremy Renner enters with his shoulders set back and open body language, which might indicate being open to a hug.

  • @Serai3

    @Serai3

    5 жыл бұрын

    Exactly. The most important aspect of Graham's physical connections with his guests is how he takes his cues from what they are comfortable with. Mark of an excellent host.

  • @artemisstrong5113

    @artemisstrong5113

    5 жыл бұрын

    No, Jeremy Renner clearly opened his arms for a hug -- he initiated it. He's an American, and an actor -- you should already know he'd be more demonstrative than a Brit. Plus, this is not Norton's first meeting with either one of them. And they've certainly interacted that day before the taping began. Also, please be cautious: what Norton does is way too much for real life. This is a TV show.

  • @alibarbi664
    @alibarbi6646 жыл бұрын

    If you wanna improve your relationships this is the only channel in the world that makes you feel like you REALLY learnt something at the end of the video. Thank you soooo much!

  • @alibarbi664

    @alibarbi664

    6 жыл бұрын

    We're not talking about 3 technics. Everything can be learnt and if you wanna learn charisma you start studying it and you finish living it. My relationships have improved since I started watching ALL their videos and reading their book. Of course it takes effort, it's not about watching videos and than "done!". You study, you apply these advices , you try, you fail, you observe what's wrong in your behaviors, you continue studying and than you succeed.

  • @gumersindocebollero3261
    @gumersindocebollero32616 жыл бұрын

    this channel is a great tool for robots

  • @bashyre6877

    @bashyre6877

    6 жыл бұрын

    Gumersindo Cebollero what do u mean?

  • @bloodhooded

    @bloodhooded

    6 жыл бұрын

    For robots like me. You're right, Gumersindo Cebollero. Mentioning your name so you will like me more. Ha-ha-ha.

  • @gumersindocebollero3261

    @gumersindocebollero3261

    6 жыл бұрын

    Bash Yre so they can learn to act like real people, like me haha, I also enjoy social activities and f.r.i.e.n.d.s. haha

  • @PatrickFoxGaming

    @PatrickFoxGaming

    6 жыл бұрын

    Computer says no...

  • @IluvinortheIneffable

    @IluvinortheIneffable

    6 жыл бұрын

    or sociopaths

  • @anewloveofficial9137
    @anewloveofficial91376 жыл бұрын

    I instantly like someone who has a sense of humor and possess the ability of making fun of himself in order to give people a comfortable feeling towards him. Everybody wants to be happy no matter how bad the situation is, so it's not bad to carry a joke everywhere you go, atleast you can make people smile in every little things you do.

  • @PersonalPower
    @PersonalPower6 жыл бұрын

    I am not really good at making compliments but I can confirm, humor and self deprecation is incredible. If you can laugh about yourself with confidence you are already good to go! If you tease you can go over board, but if you make jokes about yourself you can't really go wrong! We all like to laugh! If you want someone to like you, make them associate a positive emotion with your character. When they associate fun and laughter with you, then they will enjoy being around you and search for your presence. Good to see a fellow KZread deconstructing celebrities social skills! I really enjoyed this one, probably because I like graham norton!

  • @Raf_Avila
    @Raf_Avila6 жыл бұрын

    We're interested in others when they're interested in us

  • @muchalucha4939

    @muchalucha4939

    6 жыл бұрын

    But then how will they become interested in you, when you're not interested in them yet?! Shouldn't the same theory apply to the other side! This is similar to "what came first, the chicken or the egg?" dilemma all over again :D (I'm team chicken)

  • @Raf_Avila

    @Raf_Avila

    6 жыл бұрын

    Haha I totally agree! Show genuine interest in others first and the natural human instinct will be for them to reciprocate

  • @steampunkthing2716

    @steampunkthing2716

    6 жыл бұрын

    Not true at all

  • @sammysamsoccer

    @sammysamsoccer

    6 жыл бұрын

    Actually so true

  • @pavoljuraj7020

    @pavoljuraj7020

    6 жыл бұрын

    Red Smurf You can't say it's true, because it is not generally true. It only *might* be true among people you know (coworkers, classmates, neighbors, ...). If you stop someone on street that you've never seen before and you will show interest in how's his day or how is he, even if your interest will be 100% honest, you won't become friends. You will be most likely told to mind your own business...

  • @_pudu661
    @_pudu6612 жыл бұрын

    Biggest takeaway for me: - Don’t be so serious, learn to laugh at yourself. Nobody is perfect and being overly critical of yourself ruins the experience for yourself and for others because you’ll be in a negative vibe. - always give genuine detailed compliments over general generic compliments . Something specific that may matter to the person. Ex. Nice shirt vs You have great style I really like it! - compliment before any teasing. - when teasing don’t attack someone’s identity, don’t tease something that is unchangeable or important to them . (Example, if they have acne or sexual orientation)

  • @ChrisSmith-hq3of

    @ChrisSmith-hq3of

    2 жыл бұрын

    That is a very good summary!

  • @combatwombat2134
    @combatwombat2134 Жыл бұрын

    A side note, I love the way he encourages guests to tell a story or remind them the details without giving away anything necessary to the build-up or punchline.

  • @Jonic_P
    @Jonic_P6 жыл бұрын

    I've been lobbying for this episode for SOOOO LONG Constantly seeing celebrities that don't usually open up or even do interviews go on Graham Norton's and show and just love it has made me deeply interested in how the man does it!!!!

  • @nbrikha
    @nbrikha6 жыл бұрын

    Please remember that Graham has a team of people doing research on his guests so he knows what he can and cannot make fun of. His personal charm and people skills aside, it'd be difficult for him to do this show week after week without them. Just saying it helps to know the person, or at least a few details before you start poking fun at them. You never know what can be a sensitive subject to someone so keeping it light can be difficult for serious people at first.

  • @SisterFromAnotherPlanet

    @SisterFromAnotherPlanet

    5 жыл бұрын

    I'm not on the level where I have a "team of people", just using Google and giving respect, so I became known for opening my guests up because they trust me. I've even interviewed Kanye and got him to laugh and relax and share his feelings about things he didn't with others. You don't need a team to be an effective interviewer.

  • @chocmilkshake24

    @chocmilkshake24

    5 жыл бұрын

    So true

  • @chocmilkshake24

    @chocmilkshake24

    5 жыл бұрын

    sisterfromanotherplanet you’re right, but you have to remember that he’s interviewing ppl who have been interviewed to DEATH about everything they do, so the research is mandatory if you want to get creative with your questions and not repeat the same boring questions.

  • @maggiemcfly5267

    @maggiemcfly5267

    5 жыл бұрын

    Yet every talk show host has a team of researchers or just a person really, and Graham Norton still stands out

  • @LiLBrotato

    @LiLBrotato

    2 жыл бұрын

    Good point man I was thinking the same

  • @mannelshah
    @mannelshah6 жыл бұрын

    to be fair, that mark ruffalo joke caught us all off gard in it was RELLY hillarious i don't think anyone would not LOL at it, it still make me laugh even tho i watched it alot of times.

  • @absoledge

    @absoledge

    5 жыл бұрын

    mannelshah what's it in reference to? Just his general appearance?!

  • @strangulator123

    @strangulator123

    4 жыл бұрын

    That's HIS spontaneity that makes him more likeable.

  • @Deiku
    @Deiku6 жыл бұрын

    Can you make a video on how to cheer people up? thanks

  • @Slechy_Lesh

    @Slechy_Lesh

    6 жыл бұрын

    This video shows that. Just be even more cautious, more gradual, if they're not feeling good.

  • @razvan2632

    @razvan2632

    6 жыл бұрын

    give them money .Actually don't .Receiving money is kind of embarrasing

  • @Ricardoromero4444

    @Ricardoromero4444

    5 жыл бұрын

    Watch tony robbins. he's the master at that one

  • @Kalenz1234

    @Kalenz1234

    5 жыл бұрын

    Hug em.

  • @Serai3

    @Serai3

    5 жыл бұрын

    Here's your video: don't do it. There are few things more invasive and annoying than an attempt to "cheer up" someone who hasn't asked you to do so.

  • @cellardoor199991
    @cellardoor1999916 жыл бұрын

    1:06 Actually he WAS gonna shake his hand, BUT Jeremy already made the gesture to hug so Graham copied.

  • @StrawberryAppleCream
    @StrawberryAppleCream6 жыл бұрын

    I LOVE Graham. I love how he is funny and makes the show while giving the stage fully to his guests

  • @Tennishead21
    @Tennishead216 жыл бұрын

    You forgot his Irish charm. ;)

  • @daireoreilly2548

    @daireoreilly2548

    6 жыл бұрын

    yeah most irish people are naturally charming

  • @poundlandbandit6124

    @poundlandbandit6124

    6 жыл бұрын

    +Daire O'Reilly how can an entire people be charming

  • @MD-uu5nt

    @MD-uu5nt

    6 жыл бұрын

    killy it's the culture. not all Irish people are changeover but a very large percentage are. Conversely Americans tend to be much more polite and mannerly but less off the cuff.

  • @annmitchell4663

    @annmitchell4663

    6 жыл бұрын

    Dat Guy Maybe you were adopted and you're really German..😆

  • @louisvuitton56

    @louisvuitton56

    5 жыл бұрын

    His lucky charms

  • @dannyclub09
    @dannyclub096 жыл бұрын

    I'm glad y'all finally made a video about Graham Norton, we've been asking for this for a while.

  • @yungprofsge
    @yungprofsge6 жыл бұрын

    I'm gonna watch these videos often

  • @superturtle64

    @superturtle64

    6 жыл бұрын

    I've been watching this channel for over a year now, it has been one of the most helpful resources of information

  • @yungprofsge

    @yungprofsge

    6 жыл бұрын

    Yes it is I've been watching for about a year as well but I'm going to add a lot of these videos to my daily playlist they're great for learning better communication

  • @superturtle64

    @superturtle64

    6 жыл бұрын

    I'm sure you'll agree that after understanding the fundamentals of good charisma, one's life improves tenfold

  • @paranoidandroid4709

    @paranoidandroid4709

    6 жыл бұрын

    RapperGeekT me2

  • @harryjameson9423

    @harryjameson9423

    5 жыл бұрын

    Don't forget to put into practice whatever you learned in the real world.

  • @partlyironic
    @partlyironic4 жыл бұрын

    What I love about Graham Norton’s show is the way he fosters conversation between sometimes wildly different guests. It would be amazing if you could look into that because we often have situations where odd people have to mix and it is never easy.

  • @ralugabs
    @ralugabs6 жыл бұрын

    When you don't even need a notification cause you're on youtube all the time anyway 😂

  • @kimyong5548

    @kimyong5548

    6 жыл бұрын

    you are pretty

  • @zxGHOSTr

    @zxGHOSTr

    6 жыл бұрын

    Kim yong the cringe almost snaped my spine😅

  • @PavelHasek

    @PavelHasek

    6 жыл бұрын

    well played

  • @abidamahbub1653

    @abidamahbub1653

    6 жыл бұрын

    Same omg.

  • @jebes909090

    @jebes909090

    6 жыл бұрын

    Raluca Sandu when your name sounds like an indian dish

  • @ClassPunkOnRumbleAndSubstack
    @ClassPunkOnRumbleAndSubstack4 жыл бұрын

    Moral: With marijuana and caffeine an introvert can become an Extrovert God.

  • @TooOverrated
    @TooOverrated6 жыл бұрын

    Great advice, Ben . I am excited for this on site videos to see how your personalities differ when showing your own charisma.

  • @lindseybailes2706
    @lindseybailes27065 жыл бұрын

    I want to go to The Graham Norton show so badly. But step 1 is obviously the alcohol. He is so smart to incorporate it with his show.

  • @fejj12
    @fejj126 жыл бұрын

    You guys have outdone yourself with this video. Way to raise the bar! Brilliant tips on ways to soften teasing while putting it all together with all the other charisma skills.

  • @Charismaoncommand

    @Charismaoncommand

    6 жыл бұрын

    ~ Glad you're digging it!

  • @dancegod1691
    @dancegod16916 жыл бұрын

    I feel like talk shows aren't a great thing to study for interpersonal communication, given there's a whole audience and all parties are focused on looking friendly/likable for the camera/audience.

  • @The3rdGunman
    @The3rdGunman4 жыл бұрын

    Can't talk about Graham's charisma and not mention his suit game...it's A+

  • @AverageJoe69420
    @AverageJoe694206 жыл бұрын

    Honestly, these videos are amazing. I've been struggling a bit lately with on camera presence, it's hard to "be funny" or entertaining when you have zero real time feedback. But these videos are so good, really going to take these tips and suggestions to heart and try to implement them. Thank you!

  • @dandyandy2046
    @dandyandy20465 жыл бұрын

    My favorite part of this video is listening to you, Ben. Seriously, I can see you really practice what you preach and you make an effort to improve yourself. I found you instantly likable and was interested in what you had to say about The Dollar Shave Club. Well done, mate ;)

  • @capubecks
    @capubecks5 жыл бұрын

    Graham is just such a natural, so funny and smart, one of his big talents is the comebacks...thanks for also pointing out and naming all the things he does, focusing in achievements, self deprecating humor, etc. well done and thank you!...I just subscribed!

  • @Charismaoncommand

    @Charismaoncommand

    5 жыл бұрын

    ~ Our pleasure! Glad you enjoyed the video and welcome to the channel. :-)

  • @hipnhappenin
    @hipnhappenin6 жыл бұрын

    Yay!! You FINALLY made a video on Graham!! He is the best talk show host today.

  • @ohigetjokes
    @ohigetjokes6 жыл бұрын

    I really appreciated this - makes me realize how powerful it is to just genuinely APPRECIATE people! (I forget sometimes) Thanks!

  • @natebillings147
    @natebillings1475 жыл бұрын

    I normally don't watch this kind of stuff, I feel ethically inclined not to, but thank you. It answered some questions I hadn't found answers to until now.

  • @FranDrakeS
    @FranDrakeS6 жыл бұрын

    I love Graham so much, he always make me laugh. Ben, you ROCK! I'm glad you're doing this videos too. Thank you so much.

  • @benjaminaltman4895

    @benjaminaltman4895

    6 жыл бұрын

    Thank you and my pleasure :-)

  • @elizabethdevries8028
    @elizabethdevries80285 жыл бұрын

    He is absolutely outstanding at what he does. I love his show.

  • @Vulturefist

    @Vulturefist

    5 жыл бұрын

    Outstanding indeed. Well put. Seeing a talented person using his/her talent is an amazing thing to behold. Norton knows his craft, that’s for damn sure!

  • @brandonb14
    @brandonb146 жыл бұрын

    Really great video from a consistently high quality channel! One video I'd like to see is how to be memorable. It's often a problem i face quite a bit, when I'm around people in a club or party etc I get on with them, I make them laugh and we have a good time, but then as soon as the event is finished it seems that's it, so say if they threw a house party or another type of social event I won't get invited, even though the last few times we've met we may have a had a good laugh together. Just a video idea i'd like to see, keep it up, love this channel!

  • @ChrisSmith-hq3of
    @ChrisSmith-hq3of2 жыл бұрын

    The teasing part of joking is often hard to do. I usually go too far on my friends and it can lead to awkward moments. This video encapsulates the parts of which I did wrong. I enjoy re-watching these videos so much!

  • @ghughus
    @ghughus6 жыл бұрын

    I must say there is still another line to that "Don't tease people about something that is unchangeable" - I myself am fairly short and my friends definitely tease me about it, crack some jokes, and it is pretty hilarious more often than not! I am not too self conscious about it so it's really not an issue, but I suppose one still has to be careful about how to approach those issues depending on the person

  • @benjaminaltman4895

    @benjaminaltman4895

    6 жыл бұрын

    Hey Luis! That's awesome and means you're probably quite confident :-) Not everyone is, which is why it's exactly as you say, you aren't self conscious about it so it doesn't bother you. There are exceptions to this for sure, but for someone still figuring out where the line is, I think it's a good guideline to avoid anything that is both unchangeable and important to them. But exceptions will apply :-)

  • @May04bwu

    @May04bwu

    6 жыл бұрын

    Yeah but you can't depend on that with people you just met.

  • @mz1496
    @mz14966 жыл бұрын

    How have you guys not already done a video about Ricky Gervais? I think you will come up with an incredible break down about him! Keep up the good work 👊👊

  • @LarryLeeMoniz
    @LarryLeeMoniz4 жыл бұрын

    I can't think of a more perfect choice to demonstrate how to make people instantly like you, than Graham Norton! Well done!

  • @4movecheckmate
    @4movecheckmate4 жыл бұрын

    When teasing, keep two criteria in mind: 1. Don't attack someone's identity 2. Don't target something unchangeable and important to the person. This also helps me to see why some teasing hurts me. Knowing that, I can now let those things pass and try not to be offended by them. Don't say something out of malice or dislike. That means be really careful with the people you know you don't like very much. You can be polite all the time, but those little caustic remarks can destroy all that work. Instead focus on complimenting those people genuinely. To be interesting, be interested. Listen to people and let them feel interest.

  • @Animegal6
    @Animegal66 жыл бұрын

    i would love to see a video about how to talk about yourself!

  • @ArthurMoore
    @ArthurMoore6 жыл бұрын

    Great video. thank you for it! you can use an app to download those videos in a higher quality so when you zoom in, it won't look like the game Doom (the first 1)

  • @alexiryo

    @alexiryo

    3 жыл бұрын

    Boy, atleast you're paying attention to the specificity tips

  • @AscendedMasculine
    @AscendedMasculine6 жыл бұрын

    I also think a huge component to this is having everyone on at once. This creates more of a group dynamic and community. Where one person isn't the center of all of the attention, which most celebrities are used to.

  • @KiiroSagi
    @KiiroSagi6 жыл бұрын

    1. Warm Positive Connection: Be warm and make compliments instead of generic 2. Humor: Be funny or laugh out loud. Make people feel like they have a good time around you. 3. Tease and self-deprecate: Break tension and formality by teasing or to be safe, jokes at your expense. Try and compliment first and then attempting these after. 4. Listen: People love to tell stories or share opinions but only if someone actually validates their effort by listening. Also, try not to interrupt because no one likes being interrupted.

  • @acollierr17
    @acollierr176 жыл бұрын

    This is a great video. Great pointers and great way of doing the video. I look forward to seeing more videos like this from the both of you in the future!

  • @benjaminaltman4895

    @benjaminaltman4895

    6 жыл бұрын

    Thanks Hova!

  • @untilyouburn
    @untilyouburn5 жыл бұрын

    Man being funny and likeable is A LOT OF WORK

  • @downloaddeodeo6063
    @downloaddeodeo60633 жыл бұрын

    Be instantly magnetic by: 1. Creates warm, positive connection, i) smile & touch ii) shake, hug, pat... iii) compliment on something hard to achieve. 2. Humour & laughter for others to feel joy around you. 3. Playful teasing & self-deprecation puts everyone on the same level. i) don't attack someone's identity ii) don't attack things that are important to them. iii) establish you love their thing first. iv) self-depreciation, laught at yourself. 4. Listen very intently.

  • @Simplefier
    @Simplefier6 жыл бұрын

    I am looking forward to see this channel evolve even more (already loving it)

  • @Charismaoncommand

    @Charismaoncommand

    6 жыл бұрын

    ~ Appreciate that +SimpleFire :-)

  • @NutnRoll
    @NutnRoll5 жыл бұрын

    Even his face makes you instantly like him.

  • @uonlyliveonce24
    @uonlyliveonce246 жыл бұрын

    Great job and excellent tips. Watching this helped me realize that for the past 2 weeks I've been overly serious about life. I will now take the time to smile and laugh as cultivating happiness within me equals happiness around me. Thanks for sharing:)

  • @Charismaoncommand

    @Charismaoncommand

    6 жыл бұрын

    Happy to share :-)

  • @carriecorbell5842

    @carriecorbell5842

    6 жыл бұрын

    Charisma on Command Your day

  • @andrewlindsey5353
    @andrewlindsey53534 жыл бұрын

    This was a great video. I'd point out that the difference between the handshake and the hug actually came from the guest themselves. You can see the first guy walk forward with his hand out while the other had both hands open to the sides. Grahams skill lies in quickly identifying the intent of the other person and following it.

  • @nakaharaindria
    @nakaharaindria6 жыл бұрын

    Because of these qualities you mentioned, he is easily the best chat show out there currently. It’s because he actually let his guests talk and chat, as how these type of shows supposed to be. And he always managed to make all the people sitting on his couch comfortable enough to share any stories they want.

  • @afrosymphony8207
    @afrosymphony82076 жыл бұрын

    graham and conan are my favorite talk show hosts of all time

  • @monmorelord6368

    @monmorelord6368

    5 жыл бұрын

    Its the Irish personality...best in the world as talk show hosts as they have a natural skill fro talking to people ...In Ireland to be sociable and fun is considered a must while quiet and serious people not so much

  • @thehallofvalhalla

    @thehallofvalhalla

    5 жыл бұрын

    @@monmorelord6368 Conan isn't Irish. He's Irish american. Completely different things.

  • @monmorelord6368

    @monmorelord6368

    5 жыл бұрын

    @@thehallofvalhalla NO its not ...its in the DNA ...

  • @helenaville5939

    @helenaville5939

    4 жыл бұрын

    Yes Conan is very Irish.

  • @cball2011
    @cball20116 жыл бұрын

    The positive scenarios are great, I'd like to see more examples of people failing to use these methods though 🙌

  • @henrystgeorge4882
    @henrystgeorge48823 жыл бұрын

    Love the personal touch on this video - gives me insight into someone new producing these videos!!

  • @AnthonyTurnham
    @AnthonyTurnham6 жыл бұрын

    Always love your videos guys. Jam packed full of interesting and useful take-homes. Keep up the great work.

  • @Charismaoncommand

    @Charismaoncommand

    6 жыл бұрын

    ~ Glad you're finding them useful Anthony!

  • @peekeyeseek
    @peekeyeseek5 жыл бұрын

    Graham Norton is so fabulous, a gift to humanity. But hey, he knows it. 😜

  • @ennamorgan9673
    @ennamorgan96734 жыл бұрын

    So THAT's what you look like! You have a great voice; I love listening to your videos; and as it turns out, you are ridiculously easy on the eyes, so don't be shy to do more appearances :)

  • @ziltoidtheomniscient2398
    @ziltoidtheomniscient23986 жыл бұрын

    Feels good that I actually do a lot of this already. Thanks Ben, keep it up!

  • @DugTheDog
    @DugTheDog3 жыл бұрын

    Graham Norton and Craig Ferguson. The best night show hosts that have ever existed.

  • @AleAle-hk1lu
    @AleAle-hk1lu6 жыл бұрын

    Make a video about Bill Burr

  • @mr.fufucudlypoops8207

    @mr.fufucudlypoops8207

    6 жыл бұрын

    Ale Ale I second this

  • @nolanbunyaviroch1862
    @nolanbunyaviroch18626 жыл бұрын

    Can you make a video on working with others? How do you become the ideal working partner? How do you encourage people to work? How do you work well with others? How do you become efficient with your working partners?

  • @life02ab
    @life02ab4 жыл бұрын

    Excellent points and Graham is such a pleasure to watch. Great work here.

  • @territran9781
    @territran97816 жыл бұрын

    Wow I love your choice of people to do a detail break downs with. Who ever does the choosing of people to do a videos on definitely has a good eye .

  • @Charismaoncommand

    @Charismaoncommand

    6 жыл бұрын

    ~ This has been requested for a while now - glad you're liking it!

  • @amazingsupergirl7125
    @amazingsupergirl71256 жыл бұрын

    I'm American and Graham Norton is the only foreign talk show I watch. ❤️ I assume using him was just as example since ALL hosts have these skills. Ya can't do a good job without being very good with people. I watch his show because it's funny and different but I wouldn't be interested in being real life friends with such a hyper cutup. IMO being a good, responsive listener is by far the most important.

  • @sydneykirk4957
    @sydneykirk49575 жыл бұрын

    "When you laugh at someone's joke, you make THEM feel like YOUR listening to THEM!" These videos used to make really useful points about linguistics and they've devolved into how to conversation for dummies.

  • @AcuraAddicted
    @AcuraAddicted6 жыл бұрын

    Very well put! I must say, out of all others, Graham Norton is my favourite.

  • @rowsofpitch
    @rowsofpitch6 жыл бұрын

    great tips! these are interesting, well thought insights. its also great that youre being transparent with the sponsorship, and talking about your goals as a channel. could i maybe request a video on making friends online? its harder for me to make a friend in a chatroom or a voice call room cause body language is harder to convey and pick up on.

  • @cup_check_official
    @cup_check_official6 жыл бұрын

    I read something very interesting during my psychology class. It's a technique to make people like you. If you want someone to like you, borrow something from them and then return it back. This makes them like you. But, i my tested thing is to be rude to people (to set the bar low) and then apologize which makes them think you are really nice lol and they like you 🙃

  • @TheRealHerbaSchmurba

    @TheRealHerbaSchmurba

    6 жыл бұрын

    Tell Me This like a credit score!!

  • @auliaking82

    @auliaking82

    6 жыл бұрын

    Tell Me This wow life hack

  • @cup_check_official

    @cup_check_official

    6 жыл бұрын

    TheRealHerbaSchmurba exactly 😏

  • @cup_check_official

    @cup_check_official

    6 жыл бұрын

    Aulia King you are welcome 😏

  • @LudicrouslyLiam

    @LudicrouslyLiam

    6 жыл бұрын

    That's funny, I remember being best friends with someone and the first memory is me giving him a rubber and getting it back, lol.

  • @elkoopman6742
    @elkoopman67425 жыл бұрын

    I feel like an alien trying to learn human behaviour when I watch these videos

  • @ruoweilim7334
    @ruoweilim73346 жыл бұрын

    this is UNCANNY i was literally binge watching the graham norton show yesterday and thought about how cool it'd be if u made a video about graham norton........

  • @itpatriot
    @itpatriot4 жыл бұрын

    I just found your channel and I'm loving it- thank you!

  • @stopmotionj2455
    @stopmotionj24556 жыл бұрын

    This is the first I ever heard about that show, I have to see if I can find it. :)

  • @SuPeRNinJaRed
    @SuPeRNinJaRed5 жыл бұрын

    Tom Hiddleston "You make a man feel good Graham" In more than one way!!! JKJKJKJK

  • @Elyhhk

    @Elyhhk

    3 жыл бұрын

    😬

  • @theranasaini
    @theranasaini5 жыл бұрын

    Great post. Glad I took the time to go through it, cheers!

  • @cellardoor199991
    @cellardoor1999916 жыл бұрын

    Surprised this doesn't have more views. This is my fave. vid on this channel. I'm learning a lot.

  • @Charismaoncommand

    @Charismaoncommand

    6 жыл бұрын

    ~ Glad you're digging it!

  • @derrickforeal
    @derrickforeal6 жыл бұрын

    This isn't a talent that can be adopted or learned in a quick manner. GRAHM is a good listener and has a sharp and witty memory and just all around enjoyable energy. Grahm truly can finesse the widest variety of individuals allwhile keeping it progressivly moving and informative. He has been at this along time and truly has mastered the late night tv show banter, plus he has cut out many of the standard industry conversation formalities and nicely flows from a conversation into a hilarious bash from the likes of old friends poking fun at one another. Grahm is great at getting guest to lighten up and just be their real natural self and this is what enjoy about his show then any other of today's. , The tool that works best for Grahm, and this is from his own mouth, he sauces his guest up, and this gets them to wllingly loosen their insecurity bolts making the fun poking exchanges truly enjoyable and the most unique of any joking on tv. Grahm does this better then any other host and this keeps it enjoyable for all without overdoing it. We have all seen other host fail and flatline their interviews into a uncomfortable closing. This is why his guest truly enjoys coming on his show

  • @bothi00
    @bothi006 жыл бұрын

    Best talk show host by a mile

  • @gustavomartinsdasilva4990
    @gustavomartinsdasilva49906 жыл бұрын

    you and charlie are the best,keep going on and ignore whatever negative criticism that you might receive

  • @gitsurfer27
    @gitsurfer276 жыл бұрын

    I used to watch the Graham Norton show about 15 years ago when it was on in the UK. Glad he's getting the recognition he deserves.

  • @collinwagenmakers
    @collinwagenmakers6 жыл бұрын

    One of the hardest things about self deprecating jokes I experience, is that people sometimes don't get that you're making a joke. One time after an intense group workout, one of the participants told the rest he wasn't as fatigued as he hoped, so he was considering going for a 10K run. To which I responded (with the intention of making a joke): "That's crazy! I can barely walk anymore, let alone go for a 10K run." Some thought I was being dead serious, even though they saw me walking 10 seconds earlier. So in stead of laughing, people thought there was something wrong with my legs. Any advice on how to make sure others take it as a joke?

  • @willyounger9772

    @willyounger9772

    6 жыл бұрын

    CollinsPages In a word: delivery

  • @collinwagenmakers

    @collinwagenmakers

    6 жыл бұрын

    Will Younger I realize that xD Let me rephrase the question: how do you deliver a self deprecating joke without actually making a fool out of yourself? Body language? Tonality of voice? Choice of words? State of mind?

  • @Nojusv

    @Nojusv

    6 жыл бұрын

    CollinsPages You,re doing it wrong, u cant just say anything bad or not as good about urslef and make others think its a joke

  • @Nojusv

    @Nojusv

    6 жыл бұрын

    CollinsPages study the other examples; they are different

  • @willyounger9772

    @willyounger9772

    6 жыл бұрын

    CollinsPages Sorry! I'm no expert, but I would say the 3 most important things, other than choice of words as you mentioned as well, are tone, setting, and lead up. For example, in that setting and lead up, I would have used sarcasm with what you said. Otherwise, compliment and self depreciate at the same time. For instance: Them "I'm not tired enough..." You "as the mere mortal I am, my legs feel like the whacky wavy inflatable tube man." You suggest they're a beast while at the same time painting a funny picture at you're own expense to get people to laugh.

  • @ElishaLong
    @ElishaLong6 жыл бұрын

    Just Listen. It's insane how powerful that is. People want to feel like a human cares. You may be their one human interaction today that is not fb, Instagram, social media etc. #monkmode

  • @littoww
    @littoww5 жыл бұрын

    Great video! Graham really is a national treasure of ours

  • @Jemini4228
    @Jemini42285 жыл бұрын

    One of the most talented talk show hosts tbh. Even when things are getting awkward he can diffuse it really well :)

  • @peterd440

    @peterd440

    5 жыл бұрын

    He can. In his latest show Madonna is being the most appalling person on the planet and out comes Ian McKellen who is universally loved and it's obvious Madonna is not happy. Somehow he makes it work beautifully.

  • @fannybrasse
    @fannybrasse6 жыл бұрын

    Make a video about Marlon Brando...... or 10 videos about Marlon Brando!! He knew every type of bodylanguage and knew how to hook everyone, a pure genius! You can make a or more videos about HIM, the person, and you can make videos of his bodylanguage, influense, confidence etc from the characters he was and himself. Marlon Brando is the best actor ever, no doubts, and how he excpressed his characters is amazing. If there is someone you should multiple videos about is it Marlon Brando! Watch his movies and you will understand.

  • @orange70383
    @orange703834 жыл бұрын

    I do not laugh, I've never heard a joke or seen an antic which I reacted to with involuntary laughter. Now I can hear/see funny thing but my response never goes beyond a half grin.

  • @mspelleri
    @mspelleri5 жыл бұрын

    Interesting! Since I've never been a fan of chat shows, I was wondering what magic Norton worked that made me always enjoy his show.

  • @WilliamJonesChess
    @WilliamJonesChess Жыл бұрын

    Moments. Square Brackets = my thoughts Interesting moment is he does not hide the spotlight 00:03 1:20 He complements based on accomplishments [The more specific the better, hence you are paying attention] 5:30 He uses self-deprecation to tease everyone to get them on the same level. A level playing field. Now we can all laugh. [Make fun of yourself first, but not too much, or else people take pity on you] 6:55 Do not tease someone about something that is unchangeable and important to them [This is so important] 7:10 Making fun of David’s haircut. Totally fine as this is changeable. 8:06 There is some water there! 11:30 To be interesting, be interested

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