Dale Carnegie said it over half a century ago: "If you want to be interesting, be interested." All you have to do to make "small talk" with people is take a genuine interest in them. Get them to talk about their very favorite topic: themselves. But take a sincere interest. Most people have something on their minds that they just can't wait to talk about, especially to a stranger, with strangers being safer than people they know. More often than not, after listening to someone talk for a long time about themselves, I have heard them say to me, "You are a good conversationalist." And as far as who is the alpha dog, who cares? Everyone has something to teach you, no matter who you are. You just have to be open to it.

@Draven.G

8 жыл бұрын

+thebudkellyfiles So, I just have to make interviews? Got it!

@Draven.G

8 жыл бұрын

I was just kidding. Actually, i did read the book and it is interesting

@Procrasti...

3 жыл бұрын

Disagree. If they're talking about something (even if the topic is themselves), and you're actively listening to them and asking sincere questions about what they're telling you, it's no longer small talk. And, in my experience, people who enjoy small talk don't enjoy being actively listened to or asked thoughtful questions. They enjoy following a high-energy, scripted exchange of platitudes with zero depth. The art of small talk is not the same as the art of conversation in my view.

@amandacasey3724

2 жыл бұрын

thank you for your beautiful words

If everyone at parties acted more like this guy, I wouldn't feel the need to leave so early.

Please upload this material again! There's some technical issues with the audio :(

@aminsamadi5634

3 жыл бұрын

The audio is awful.

@eliassis576

3 жыл бұрын

Try using headphones. Probably an audio channel mismatch...

@malibu405

2 жыл бұрын

Same. Can't hear. Darn!

@Makitaakita

2 жыл бұрын

Same, sound issues.?

LOL when I drink I get really quiet so I don't really drink in social settings with strangers. Coffee's what makes me talkative. My small talk pet peeve is when people turn things into an interrogation. Conversation should go back and forth - talk about yourself too - don't just launch 500 questions at me. Also, I think there is value in comfortable silences. Not every moment needs to be filled with pointless chatter simply for the sake of making sound.

@tristanblackford7903

8 жыл бұрын

cant drink around people, bothered by people who ask you a lot of questions, thinks people should value silence the way you do in a social situation and get annoyed when people talk without something important to say. Sounds like you're the one with the problem, what was your point again? Lol sorry

@kjcoates123

8 жыл бұрын

+dothedeed I'm the same way when I drink something that's highly caffeinated like Monster or Mountain Dew. There are times I'm very quiet and introverted but when I drink something that's high in sugar, I become the life of the party. I start being free and there are times I will dance and sing publicly.

@dothedeed

8 жыл бұрын

Tristan Blackford going by the number of thumbs up its at least 22....

@tristanblackford7903

8 жыл бұрын

You're popular. Just not at parties right? LOL

@tristanblackford7903

8 жыл бұрын

OH but I'm just FUCKIN WITCHA

I bet the "Man who read too many books" was Tai Lopez.

@aldebaran6825

8 жыл бұрын

+Iks Armada you sir are a legend

@johansebastian8352

8 жыл бұрын

+Iks Armada hahaha made me laugh

@Soorena6

8 жыл бұрын

+Iks Armada "man who drove lamborghinis"

@ErickOberholtzer

8 жыл бұрын

+Iks Armada But he'll have so much NAWLEDGE

@Why_It

8 жыл бұрын

+Iks Armada KNAWLEDGE!!!

My most powerful association with bread: I once took a road trip with two good friends in college for Spring Break. We bought a giant loaf of bread, literally broke it, and shared it by ripping pieces of of it for about two days straight (with other stuff, of course). Thanks for reminding me of this memory.

This guy's on the money. I'm an incessant talker and I'm pretty good at it. But my extroverted nature can be my undoing when I fail to listen and focus too much on telling people what I think, rather than listening to them. In the past few years I've worked on that and have found so much pleasure in listening to other people. People are fascinating when you give them a chance to tell you what they are passionate about. But they are pretty boring when you just tell them stuff and expect them to be interested.

This audio is making me feel seasick.

@timeltdme4355

8 жыл бұрын

+insomb one channel is inverted polarity, does not play on mono systems

@sebastienlegault3723

8 жыл бұрын

+insomb It makes my head tilt.

@SeeBillyRun

8 жыл бұрын

+Michal Sýkora thanks for the info!

@SahanTheMighty

8 жыл бұрын

Lol!!!

@JakkLocke

8 жыл бұрын

+insomb www.filedropper.com/fixedaudiohow-howtoengageinbettersmalltalkministerfaust01 :)

It's all about setting the mood and feeling it out. You can't think too much. It's more of an intuitive feeling thing than a logical thing.

@hb15577

9 жыл бұрын

That's were I go wrong with conversation, my mind is on making sure I keep the conversation rolling, thinking of things to talk about, while this is happening I'm failing to listen to what is actually being said and just going along with what comes to me naturally.

Most of you guys are misguided. This is a TERRIFIC talk. It's a great one!

I like the fact that he doesn't drink, makes me feel less of a unicorn haha

@dejureclaims8214

9 жыл бұрын

Raphael Motta If you don't like the taste or the effect, don't drink. Nothing odd about it.

@ReconSniperGuy

9 жыл бұрын

I know, I don't like the efect that is why I don't do it. But people look at me funny sometimes for it, I just think it's funny.

@alexandersnow6548

8 жыл бұрын

+Raphael Motta There is nothing wrong with being a unicorn.

@ReconSniperGuy

8 жыл бұрын

I ment it like a mistical creature that no one belives is real. But true tough, it's ok to be diferent.

@MichelleOsorio

8 жыл бұрын

+Raphael Motta What's wrong with unicorns? That's racist!

I'm terrible at small talks and I'm really hoping to correct it.I work in retail industry and I'm also a college student,so I have a lot of opportunities for talking.All I need is skills.

Small talks come in useful especially during networking events. All these lists of subject matters can really help break the ice and ease conversations between individuals that have just met. Thanks for this Malcolm Azania.

This was some great inspiration and I actually learned something from this guy! :)

Absolutely one of the best videos online. Than you Malcolm "Mininter Faust" Azania🙌🏽✊🏾

I really wish he had more time, this seemed like it was two minutes long.

@NighthawkX02

5 жыл бұрын

Ikr? I've seen worst TED talks last longer, what a bs from TED I genuinely feel angry about it.

-The audio sounds just fine for me.- -Considering most comments were about that, it looks like they listened and fixed it!- Edit: Just listened again on my tower after what +Kevin said. Turns out the audio is still messed up.

@LinkEX

8 жыл бұрын

+Kevin Thanks for the hint. The comments I saw were about the sound _volume_, so I assumed it was simply too quiet. Because as it is, at least one side has decent volume, and having some garbling and crackling isn't too uncommon for a talk, therefore I falsely assumed they made the best out of it they could, lol.

I love be a conversationalist not so that you can score but that you can truly be better

@45baseball45

8 жыл бұрын

+Andrea Clarke-Gibson Learning English and grammar first would help.

@aurelio-nerdo

8 жыл бұрын

+cole berlioz It helps, but I've learned that personality is more important than intelligence. It's okey if you disagree... So Andrea, continue being a conversationalist. I'm working on that too... :)

@sapadilla2

8 жыл бұрын

+cole berlioz Yes, I am a female, a daughter, a wife, a mother and a grandmother. I love all of God's creations in this garden called life. Everyday I live, I try to make my presence on this planet better, either by doing a random act of kindness or engaging someone I do not know in a conversation. Today I wish you all the joy your heart can hold.

@aurelio-nerdo

8 жыл бұрын

Andrea Clarke-Gibson Thank you, you too! Kevin, I love the way you solved this debate. You don't have prejudgments... Greetings...

I really enjoyed this! I find myself wanting to connect with people and the way I attempt it during small talk is to find things that I have in common with them. What I actually do is listen to them until I can relate then cut them off and tell them about me. It's something that I've been looking to work on and coming across this video has been very helpful.

"Hi, nice to meet you. Tell me about a movie that makes you cry?"

@andreias5564

7 жыл бұрын

it is way more interesting than dumb small talk.

@AnnA-vg5vx

5 жыл бұрын

😂

One of my favourite talks , I often come home from parties and worry I was boring or worse , asked many private questions.

hey the sound on this video seemed to have recently been corrupted

Far beyond the point of this talk, the message of boundlessness of conversation is clear, great job.

I really dig his shirt.

As an Aspergic, I took so many notes. Thank You Minister Faust.

Wow this is great! I've always been uncomfortable asking people what they did for a living, these are so much better!

I have listened to this video three times. Absolutely awesome! I wish he had an hour to talk.

A wonderful talk, loved it & I intend to watch it again and again till it fully registers :) Thank you Ted Talks.

Amazing, powerful message.

Extremely helpful, being an actress, I too find I that I am better at dealing with large crowds than small intimate gathering. I am very jealous over my solitude. Needed this....Thank you!

My left speaker is feeling lonely.

@SahanTheMighty

8 жыл бұрын

Lol!!!!

@Me-nd9zq

8 жыл бұрын

+Soulariax You seriously made me burst into laughter!!!

@rajkrupz

7 жыл бұрын

I didnt even notice lol

@GeckoHiker

7 жыл бұрын

ROFLMAO

This video was truly informative to the extent that I would want to watch a thousand more times again! TED is amazing!!

excellent talk. Great delivery. I've been doing this for years and it truly works and most people are taken back. I think it was Tony Robbins who had a talk about this subject.

An unusuall gem from the wasteland that is Ted talks.

everything I have thought and had the answers for they articulate very well. another dimension at looking at life.

the decoration is really good

This technique is also handy for weeding out narcissists. If you ask someone about themselves and they go on and on, never asking you anything about you - well that says something.

Underrated talk

It would be more interesting if a talk on small talk had additional presenters actually presenting small talk scenarios highlighting both words and body language.

@TheOttozone1

9 жыл бұрын

The key to small talk is talking about the other person in order to find a common interest or to enjoy each others company and at the same time avoiding starting a conversation about yourself or to compare yourself to one another even if it wasn't intentional. In the little time he had, 20 mins, he gave you the basic blueprint to small talk.

"Just a butcher... who fixes people", loved that xD

Thankyou so much Minister Faust. This is very helpful and empowering

You just blew my mind Mnstr Faust !

As a server who’s not very good at small talk, I definitely learned a few things from his presentation, but I wish he could’ve had a bit more time to fully round out the topics he covered. He had some interesting points, but he was kinda all over the place because it seemed like he didn’t adequately prepare his speech to fit into the allotted time he was given.

Gotta love the out of phase sound! That's a first on a TED Talk.

One of the most recurrent people's cravings lies in the prospect of expressing themselves conveying their experiences as a way to feel understood given their emotional attachment so much so that the fact of finding that common ground with other people is in itself an appeal with which people feel validated, the fact of the matter is then that in order to arouse interest in others one first has to show interest in a personal way, for people will want to get the validation back and thus will return the interest.

His shirt has Adinkra Symbols from Ghana. The symbol on the bottom is called Gye Nyame which represents the superiority of God. Makes sense since he's a minister. Can always ask people where they've been and how they got here. Everyone has a story to be shared and learned from. The shells are Cowry shells which were used for money in ancient times.

Amazing speech! Loved it!

what an awesome genuine guy

All loves are alive forever. In God We Trust ! God's loves and cares for people no matter where we are in the world. Thank you for your sharing

The interview w/ Nader was brilliant.

Asking others what they do professionally often alienates and embarasses those who are disabled, under-employed or unemployed. There's a world of interesting facts about every person we meet, get personal and authentically interested. :)

THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL! THANK YOU!

The man with the teaspoon story is a great storyteller.

SCORE! but in all seriousness this was truly a great presentation.

i think that this talk can really help me having even better conversations with people :)

Oddly enough, when I connect my phone to my car speakers, the audio is perfect.

Loved that talk; lovely man!

the most audible part is the clapping at the end!

The art of listening as an endangered species.

I relate so much to not drinking, I’m 22 years old and I found out my freshman year of high school that I have something called the “Asian flush” so I couldn’t drink and it’s gotten progressively worse since I’ve gotten older so it’s not a matter of me choosing not to drink it’s that I literally can not unless I want hives an instant headache and to be redder than a lobster. So, within learning this it has put me at a disadvantage I feel because I have a lot of social anxiety, and I realized that so many people have such ease with talking to people at parties etc is because they have alcohol in they’re system so they’re inhibitions are lower and they’re more loose, not thinking and perceiving everyone or what they have to say etc. it’s difficult realizing that most people have such a good time together because they’re drunk and that’s how so many “friendships” are created, but it also pushes me out of my comfort zone because I have to talk to people without an oz of alcohol in my system and I’m really seeking knowledge on how to be more social without letting my anxiety get in the way

Such a great talk 😊🙏

Great tips.I enjoyed listening to him.

This is pretty damn awesome and also aligns with some of the thoughts iv had about how o communicate with people. Its important to come up with a way to get people share something about them self that is likely to be f some personal importance. Its also key to make sure you really listen when they do,otherwise what the point hu? the questions that he suggested are good templates for the style of questions you should be asking people to really get to know them. Here is question for all you youtube viewers. What would you consider to be a perfect day? from start to finish. What are the things that would compose a day that would send you to bed with a smile?

I was in a program called Pride/AU which gave folks a chance to attend American U free for a portion of the schooling. I had schedule issues where I worked & maybe some other factors. I was asked to interview someone pertaining to a building, which I found very difficult A fellow student said it's not that hard. I have lived a life of menial jobs & I'm now old. Victoria Osteen said make the best of the rest.

i love this talk.. i wish we got all of it

I was act an event at Howard U in DC & a guy was selling books. He at some point asked me had I read this or that. If you're trying to sell something or otherwise it may not be wise to put a person on the spot or to make them look bad ,esp in front of folks.

This was a great talk regarding small talk! Very interesting!

so you can truly be a better human being and Love

This is my struggle is how I want to connect with as many people as possible but there is always some barrier that I can't reach them. It's not enough to be nice and caring for people. Sure most people say hello to me and ask how I am doing and I say I'm fine how are you and most will say good and that's pretty much the end of most of my conversations. I need to learn how to follow up after "good." What comes after good? What comes after when you and other parties well being is good? How do you go from there to a potential deep connection with that person?

@Gromitz101

8 жыл бұрын

+Kyle Coates There are a lot of people that will instantly shut you down because "how are you doing" is another form of saying hello or a form of greeting, not a conversation starter. Second, if you want to connect with as many people as possible, you will most likely frame your conversations or even body language in a way that will trigger for someone as if you are uninterested. If you are interested in people, then give them your full attention, eye contact, and *time*, to listen to their interests, characteristics, and life. You wouldn't last a second with me if your definition of nice and caring is merely saying hello, smile and talk about the weather, or some other shallow conversation. Most people want a connection, not an acquaintance. Attention to detail, listening, and topic, drive a good conversation or new friend. "What comes after good?" Nothing, you shot yourself in the foot by opening with "how are you". It is far too general and as stated before, its only like saying hello to some. Start with some form of hello and ask questions like the TEDxTalk suggested. Topics of fun, food, fear, something they recently overcome, etc. The depth of a conversation lies with the question you ask. If you ask a shallow question, people will most likely give a shallow response and want to move on. Ask a thought provoking question or interest oriented question, and they will talk and engage with you.

Love this. Thanks

Excellent 7 suggestions to start some small talk.

small talk is to good conversation as strumming is to playing the guitar well; you need to do it to get what you want.

My left ear enjoyed this

Love this talk... I don't drink and I am bad at small talk too..

Just tried the teacher thing, totally worked!

Commander, we have a unidentified incoming sound message.

Thank you!

Audio works fine (I'm using headphones on an iPad)

Just a great talk here.

This beautiful man didn't speak long enough. Where I can i hear more of him?

@pourquoipas971

6 жыл бұрын

Aspiring ii

Aw man, I was really interested in this one, but it's inaudible.

I wish someone would magically remember the powers of audio. Sounds like an intercepted message from aliens

Hope this is good lol Just started a course and I can't stand how fast paced and chaotic everyone speaks.. too much

that's a really nice ted-talk but personally if a stranger goes up to me and randomly asks what do I do for fun I wouldn't feel comfortable enough to answer his question

what a fantastic speech :D

Superb.

Quick fixed the audio for you as a tidy mp3! www.filedropper.com/fixedaudiohow-howtoengageinbettersmalltalkministerfaust01 Not sure how long these links last for, but message me and I'll repost it!

There are certainly some great hints and tips to be taken from this presentation, but I feel that a lot of the example questions are suited only to interviews and not to general conversation. While listening to this and imagining bringing up some of these topics in the pub with friends or new people, I can't see them going down well. Maybe it will catch people off-guard or some may seem weird or even intrusive. I know that personally, if someone asked me about half of these questions, I'd be looking for a way to get out of the conversation as quickly as possible because the person is being too personal too quickly. No, I'm not going to tell you about a time I overcame fear - I've barely known you for ten minutes.

The audio was all garbled on my Android phone as well. :( Hope it can be fixed, I really enjoy a good Ted Talk! :)

Helpful! ❤️

Great video, such a shame for the poor sound...

This made learn to not be such fucking introvert. Thank you for fixing my mental issues.

There was an episode of the Andy Griffin show where Deputy Barney Fife went to a gathering hoping to get in to a club & put on airs, trying to seem well informed. Andy was just himself & got invited to the club. If the guy asking about the books would simply say what he had to say about the book it may have been more effective. Sometimes to say if you haven't heard thus and so therefore if the person has already heard of it he may not be offended.

I hardly ever have fun at parties- now it makes sense- its because I'm usually the only one who doesn't drink! LOL

Hey, this was great stuff.

he sounds like Jerry Seinfeld

Ralph Nader on Da Ali G Show was awesome!

The audio is still terrible for me. I cant hear a single thing we says.

I just use it as a list of information.

I think Im better equipped conversationally for the parties Ill never attend. God Im lonely.