A poem I always go to when uncertainty hits hard on my soul is from Erin Hanson: "There is freedom waiting for you, On the breezes of the sky, And you ask "What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, What if you fly?"

@geoffreyarcherseo

Ай бұрын

This is amazing, thank you so much for sharing.

@dubsax1668

Ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing! This is truly encouraging! I am a musician & songwriter who has been procrastinating recording & releasing the music I write. When I read this poem, it had 111 likes. I choose to view this encouraging poem paired with the number of new beginnings as a sign telling me it is time to share my music with the world. I am not certain in the outcome, but I choose to take this risk. I have been investing in my songwriting & musical abilities for many years. My music is what I have to share with the world.

@bakekay21

Ай бұрын

💖🙌🏻❤️‍🔥

@stewbugz5213

28 күн бұрын

Love that! ❤

"Watch less media about things that are far from you" I feel like this is a REALLY important point these days.

@AV-vx3cf

Ай бұрын

What does this mean?

@saltiestsiren

Ай бұрын

I feel incredibly ignorant when I ignore the news, maybe that's not rational but the guilt and shame I feel when I do is very real, it also makes me feel less intelligent

@ZyliceLiddell

Ай бұрын

Indeed! Bad ‘news’ everywhere!

@gorillaelliotensis

18 күн бұрын

I'm also confused about the wording of "far from you."

@kymbbm

14 күн бұрын

@@gorillaelliotensis literally means what it says, "stop paying attention to the problems that don't concern you and your immediate surroundings/community" If you live in America, it doesn't matter if there's a war in the middle of Africa, because no amount of sitting there worrying and crying about it is going to stop the war. You have no control over it, unless you are serious about changing the world and actually go and do political activism, which would still require you to stop being anxious and stop overthinking/doomscrolling

I've found curiosity to be the cure. It allows me to get rid of preconceived notions and see the truth of things instead of just thinking about things which lead to judgement, desire, and impatience. That's what sages mean when they say that they don't know anything. Act like you don't know anything and let each moment unfold itself without prosecution. How joyful.

@suncrestt4839

Ай бұрын

yes!! asking questions purely from a place of curiosity instead of assuming and making accusations makes life so much easier and lighter on your spirit. there is a certain peace that comes once you realize you will never know everything and that that is okay. it’s why they say to live in the present bc truly that is all our brains are capable of handling.

@drock1947

26 күн бұрын

"Be Curious not Judgemental." - (a classic line in the show, Ted Lasso, which he attributed to Walt Whitman.)

@jaylene283

21 күн бұрын

Mhm mhm, my heart connects with this, I gotta fine tune my curiosity in a way where my mind braces for the worst a little less. Id like embrace myself with more compassion while I take baby steps towards the fear of getting hurt again, the fear of change and rejection. I’m still trying to be patient with my process of self sabotage- but also courage in some length as well. I’m told that I fear life, and that’s true- it’s a whole wash of uncertainty from the start of your 20s I see, but (and I guess this is advice for anyone going through something similar) “curiosity” or to elaborate, the process into understanding oneself in a compassionate fortitude in REFLECTION of both how you interact with the world and How the world reacts to you, Needs a spark the most in places that bring you out of your comfort zone, and in places that inevitably trips into unknown events and experiences. I’m reopening a traumatic past and meeting those who have delivered nothing but hurt in my earliest experiences.. but I’m trying to be less rejecting and avoidant and search for empathy, I see time has done change to each and every one of us. We’re all confused, I’m glad to see, and admittedly I still am pretty unmoving with my progress of drastic change- and am welcoming myself to the exchanges of life and it’s sweetest and sourest fruits. But uhhh yes! Curiosity has led me a great deal of progress I wouldn’t have been able to make without some self grace, validity and sureness in myself and honestlyyyy, Some spunk lol My deepest wave of encouragement to those who are also trying to figure shit out without dwelling so much on the patterns of the past and the blur of tomorrow

"We would rather fail than risking success " , what a thought provoking line , now when I think about it , it makes a lot of things about myself clearer. 🌻

@JamesSmith-pc6bh

Ай бұрын

I would rather not try than risk failure. I KNOW that I'm going to fail so why try at all.

@josephdoiron3246

Ай бұрын

The more you are negative about a task. The more likely you are to fail. Besides you're not a psychic are you and it's okay to fail. Everyone fails!!! "There are 1 million throwaways for every masterpiece" you have to fail to grow.

I hope you know how valuable this channel is.😊

My father always said that if you expect the worst and the worst doesn't happen, you will not be hurt or disappointed. No wonder I struggle with negativity

What terrifies me the most is getting what I've been looking for, only to have it taken away right afterwards.

@HidanoKyoku

Ай бұрын

Ooof I feel that.

@Ruby-kr6fh

Ай бұрын

This has happened to me, it was painful to heal through, but I survived! It was important for me to take a period of healing (almost a year) before I was ready to pursue my goals and take risks again. I also think it helped me build mental strength/toughness and emotional resilience that will be useful in the future.

@Imjgwentworth

Ай бұрын

This

@noms3735

16 күн бұрын

Yup. Exactly same

@user-fc2tj8lf2m

15 күн бұрын

@@noms3735 It can make it extremely difficult to keep finding reasons to push forward, to strive for anything positive in life. I'm sorry that you're going through something that makes you feel the same way, but it's also nice to see that we're not necessarily alone in our struggles. Keep going and stay strong! Best wishes to you in all you hope to not just gain, but keep.

Im 54 and have never lived a day in my life because of chronic alarm/anxiety. Watching this i now know that my refusal or inability to deal with uncertainty has stopped me from doing anything of note in my life

@puffchickpam1

Ай бұрын

Me too. I’m 54 and totally relate.

@k.pacificnw02134

Ай бұрын

Also all or nothing thinking and self disparaging beliefs, as exampled in your comment.

@gregcruse4647

Ай бұрын

@@k.pacificnw02134 so very true. I have a BP issue at the moment and it has consumed me. Runaway anxiety/alarm with no nuance whatsoever. Its a form of self psychological torture

@IamDoomed15

Ай бұрын

​@@gregcruse4647how r u, ur life must be so terrible, I hope ur well

@juliegraham2445

Ай бұрын

I hope tou find the peace to open your eyes now and LIVE you are never too far gone to rebirth and find freedom! sending love

Just recently lost a job through self-sabotage, overthinking. The worst thing is it has happened before many times, I don't see till it's too late, it's an in-built mechanism. It seems I'm more comfortable with failure, failure is safe, failure is predictable, failure means I never have the uncertainty of being successful.

@tinainglima

Ай бұрын

Omg that makes sense ty❤

@_Arko44

Ай бұрын

I'm the exact same. I had just started a new job that I was very enthusiastic about and was eager to learn. One day a supervisor told me, "You have the personality that will take you far in this job. I can see you succeeding." Rather than taking it as a compliment, I immediately went into panic mode because I thought, "I just started and I'm already going to let my supervisors down." I left the job the next day. This happened nearly two and half years ago, and I still think about it every day.

@chessiepique9532

Ай бұрын

Uncertainty absolutely drives me up the wall. Interesting that this is common. Maybe instead of "does she like me or does she hate me?" I can tell myself that I will be ok regardless, even if it is the worst case and she never speaks to me again. This was a very timely video for me.

@ConsciousConversations

17 күн бұрын

A thing I say is that this action no longer serves me. Whatever that caused it to protect me initially in my life, I give my attention to and find acceptance and love around that and then when I notice the sensations it thoughts that are the beginning of that sabotage experience I continue to tell me that it no longer serves me, that I don’t need ht

This video could be part of the anxiety course. It's the root of anxiety. I feel like I need more on this one piece. Like an entire course!

Five very simple things for me to handle uncertainty: 1.) Embrace conflict and uncomfortable situations and conversations (sounds crazy ikr - but not to be reckless). 2.) I like to sketch and draw pictures. 3.) Consume less news and social media (but this vid obviously is an exception to the rule, lol) 4.) Learn something new. 5.) Imperfections are necessary for growth and progress.

@danielamestanek7899

Ай бұрын

how do you embrace conflict and uncomfortable situations and conversations?

you have serious universal mother energy

@juliegraham2445

Ай бұрын

I literally had that though in the beginning of this" she is the mother I have ben needing to ask how to deal with my confusing self! At 41, I am grateful for finally being able to learn in the right direction for my emotional maturity. Her and so many other KZread parents, mentors and safety nets.. thank you for these free resources that saved me through the darkest hours of my life

I don't make firm decisions because I can't stand the uncertainty. This is profound. Thank you.

@anishasunkara4542

6 күн бұрын

Exactly this

"go out and plant the tree even if you don't watch it grow up."- Emma This is basically my mentality. So happy to finally have words that help me explain how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking.

My current mantras: “I can do hard things,” & “I am my protector and cheerleader”

Wow… I was a child when my grandma gave me the advise to “never expect because you’ll be disappointed” so I took it literally and just avoided friendships and left people because I knew they were going to leave me.. now I have this really good job and I’m trying to change my mindset

That example you gave with the “friend” who wouldn’t communicate for a YEAR and still not answer everything when they felt like talking again was just horrible. That’s a whole nother level of being a doormat! I would never disrespect myself so much as to still want to be friends with someone who would treat me like that! Pure insanity.

@juliedepasquale3178

21 күн бұрын

I literally came here from the podcast to see if anyone else found this as problematic as I did! The other examples make sense--applying for jobs, taking trips, asking out someone new. But in my experience, if someone you have an established relationship with is causing you uncertainly, especially repeatedly, more often than not that's a red flag. I've stayed in toxic situations too many times in the name of "learning to tolerate uncertainty" or "not letting my anxiety be in control," but sometimes the anxiety is there for a good reason! Learning to differentiate between unhelpful anxiety vs anxiety that's a healthy response to being mistreated is an important skill in itself!

You're one of my greatest discoveries on my healing journey ❤

@patriciaclark9048

Ай бұрын

Same

Love that, "I'm willing to feel uncertain about this situation" I've always been a chronic over thinker thats always choosen the safe options.

The timing of this video is wild. JUST spoke about this with my therapist

This explains the “better the devil you know” conundrum which can keep people feeling trapped in shitty situations - the brain would rather get shocked than take an uncertain leap in another direction!

Your videos are ACTUALLY GOOD. I feel like most advice online is bad but yours are actually good! Thank you!!

This is exactly what i needed at this point in my life. I’ve been procrastinating applying to college because i’m uncertain if i’ll be able to handle it or not. I’m 23 now and that’s the same reason I never went after high school. I regret it now but somehow still can’t bring myself to apply, even though I know what I want to do. Since I haven’t been able to make up my mind about it that anxious feeling has been bleeding into other aspects of my life. I can tell it affects my confidence as well. I know i’m capable of a lot more in life but every time I get close to a new opportunity I self sabotage. I’m going to start doing things i’m uncertain about because what’s the worst that can happen. I’ve failed before and made it out 🤷‍♀️. Thank you for this video! 🙂

@peculiarbvlogs

Ай бұрын

I’m 25 and completely feel the same way. I understand all of what you’re saying. I went and started the process of college but I still been haven’t enrolled due to self doubt. I scored high on most of my placement test, so that tells me I should have started long ago. Now, I finally built up the courage to go but have to pay out of pocket! 😅 so I’m looking for job that allows me to afford life and school. This has now become the hard part. Don’t wait any longer! Go for it. It may be harder to accomplish the longer you wait. We got this! 🙏🏽

@k9rescuer934

Ай бұрын

Feel the fear……do it anyway ❤ You’ve got this!

This is a very interesting concept. When I was growing up it was drilled in at school and at home that if something went wrong it was because you hadn't thought hard enough, hadn't planned enough, hadn't considered every potentiality, hadn't prepared enough etc. There wasn't any space left for the uncertainties of life. Hopefully I can learn to leave space for uncertainty and take some pressure off of myself.

Uncertainty is programmed with the meaning collectively as it’s bad or something bad can happen so scares and shakes amygdala but that’s just a programming that it is not safe to be uncertain but it’s safe to be uncertain and experience it , it doesn’t mean something bad will happen so we don’t need to be paranoid in it’s anticipation, uncertainty can yield favourable outcomes too & it’s safe to expect that than being scared of uncertainty and living in paranoia . Thank you so much

Pfft. How did you know I've been dealing with increased uncertainty? 🤨😂

@rongike

Ай бұрын

bc you're a human on Earth in 2024 🤣

Now I understand why I just can’t take action towards the goals I want to achieve. This makes so much sense now…. Thanks so much.

This is perfect, I am currently in therapy to increase my tolerance to uncertainty as it's the root of all of my anxiety, thank you for your videos :)

You always deliver such timely messages. I appreciate all the work you do to help foster a world of healthy and joyful living.

Overthinking is killing me. i come back every time when i overthink too much! Thank you. It did help a lot. It's hard to make my mind turn to positive in a night, but i believe that i can get through all this!

Geez Emma, its like you are speaking directly to me today. I appreciate you ..... always. Thank you♥️

Great concepts. I wish the video addressed less superficial examples of uncertainty like major health uncertainties (such as possible vision loss with an eye disease) or financial losses due to uncontrollable factors. Slowing down the delivery and diving empathically into these really challenging areas would help many people.

I was supposed to cancel my upcoming trip which I have been super anxious about but you spoke to me using trip related anxiety example- it touched me and gave me so much support that I started thinking that I might be able to embrace this uncertainty of emotions 😢 you are amazing ❤

You had us in the first half not going to lie. I was like oh this is helpful but that better help ad though 💀

Currently reading through Brianna Wiest's The Mountain is You, in tandem with the videos on your channel after nearly a year of being entirely consumed by my anxiety and uncertainty, to the point where i could not have held down a job for more than a couple of months, and causing complications in my relationship; your youtube channel in tandem with the book have really begun to help me climb out of the whole i've dug for myself over this past year. I have been keeping a journal and writing down things i have learned from both sources. i feel like i have a real opportunity to truly live out the life i was destined to live, not the life my conditions created for myself. i would like to thank you for the work you do putting out this kind of information for free and for anyone who may not be in a position to put themselves through therapy. [:

I alway thought happiness comes, in part, from certainty, but it comes out that it works the other way around, realising that accepting uncertainty can bring you happiness

You've somehow summed up my thought processing. Dealing with uncertainty, practicing improving inner strength. Game changer for an introvert like me! Thanks Emma!!!

This is so timely! I have started on a path to follow my passion in a creative field. I am taking an 12 week online course. The facilitator has an assistant, and after about six weeks, I started having paranoiac thoughts that they were “ ganging” up on me, talking about me behind my back. Meanwhile, one of my classmates who has 20 years experience in the industry, took time to message to tell me I am “ fantastic!” How illogical is my paranoia!!I want to succeed, and talk to my inner child, letting her know I am here for her🙏🏻 Thank you for these very helpful videos!!

This is an excellent video. I recognize so much of this. It explains most of what I do and don't. I still need to finish my thesis after almost 10 years. Next September - January I must complete it or I won't be able to finish my study. Pretty extreme avoidance due to anxiety from uncertainty.

I do the reassurance seeking and procrastinating (never thought of it as self sabotage so thanks for pointing that out). But, all the work I have been doing on myself is paying off. I'm slowly building back up, and I'm starting to feel the urge to leap. Like "what are you waiting for dude, just go". I suppose it's not that I've gained anything so much as I've gotten rid of barriers. People like you have helped me get to this point and I am eternally grateful that you are willing to share like this. ❤

Never been good at dealing with uncertainty. I like to be in control and everything to be perfect. This past year almost every aspect of my life changed (marriage, parenting, work, friends, finances) and all these aspects are still uncertain and unpredictable . Life forcing you to learn to deal with uncertainty. Thank you for the video, it's really helpful.

@veetee4826

Ай бұрын

Stil not working

Thank you for the update! I know I needed that. Because of my uncertainty with examinations and failing many times, I have lost confidence and just half-assed my attempts, maybe it's the shame I feel whenever I see my family try to show support and I cannot reciprocate it with a passing result and it just builds up my anxiety that I just stop trying altogether..

@RajaBabu-ur5kf

Ай бұрын

It's okay buddy, reciprocation doesn't mean giving results, it can also be taken as giving your best efforts regardless of the uncertainty and showing up everyday even if you fail to do so in some days, get up and start moving again!

I always thought that I was afraid of rejection. So I wouldn't apply myself. But the way you described uncertainty I believe now that it was this that I've been struggling against. Rejection was a small part of it.

Oh man… so true! I hadn’t realized this was at the crux of much of what I struggle with and what’s stops me. Yes, I stop myself. Also I have the anxiety and depression that seems to go with it. I do all the things you mentioned to control and avoid uncertainty. Another thing I do is “write stories” and “carastrophize” all kinds of things to keep me safe and bored 😂 thank you so much ❤️❤️❤️

Just what I needed. Stop the struggle to struggle😊

Thank You. You have been a big part of my healing journey. I feel like you are a friend who I'm having coffee with that always gives encouragement and the best advice.

This is perfectly put advice❤. Just think, you've never had control in your life. Life is way too bizarre and mysterious for you to ever claim you had control of anything. Loosen the grip a little, and you'll realise that everything you've been clinging to is moving with you anyway, so go with the flow more...

Don't just take action. Take some dang action! Love it. Thanks, Emma ❤

I avoid travel because I’m uncertain about how I’m going to deal with a strange new environment.

Your Chanel has helped me enormously. I cant thank enough. Diagnosed with Anxiety Disorder, now in recovery loving the process.

This was a very good video. I've been protecting myself from uncertainty my whole life and honestly I can't do it anymore. Since covid, conflicts and political/geopolitical unstability that we are facing today I tend to always seek reassurance by over-checking news, and websites that provide analysis to understand if I will be the one too that will face this unstability at some point. It's really exausting and I've basically gave up being happy and enojying the little pleasures of PRESENT life. By self-sabotaging myself like this I've been struggling to concentrate to MY life, but now I've decided to overcome this problem by seeking help and working on this issue, because it is really affecting my well-being. For all of the people that will see this comment remeber that you're not alone, put an helmet on and face this problem! Only with help and effort we will stop sabotaging ourselves. Sending a lot of love and hope

Wow. Busted! Everything u said, I have done. It was comforting hearing I m not alone. Thank u.

@jordanr277

Ай бұрын

Haha for some reason I find this comment so wholesome. I am also busted with this habits!

This is the best explanation I've ever heard. Thank you

Thank you so much for these videos. They've been a huge help through some of my biggest struggles.

You’re wonderful, thanks for the new perspective!

Just what I needed. Have been struggling with this for a long time and have been looking for guidance. Thank you Emma!!

Thank you! Of course on some level I knew other people had difficulties with uncertainty. But somehow I always felt it was just me... Now I know better.

it must be fate that I saw this today. exactly my problem , and it is killing me. thank you. I am going to watch this several times and really take it in. but I think it may help me overcome my current state. a new direction. so well put. thank you so much.x

I was adopted when I was 5. For the first time I did something huge on my own: I flew all the way to France after learning the language. And I met a man that made me feel extremely loved. But I got scared and blocked him and could never find him again. 🥴🥴🥴

I use all my energy in an effort to in detail take care of the Household and practical things to the max (cleaning, washing, dishes, bedding etc. ”put out fires”) To get a sense of control when everything else in life is uncertain. to feel i am enough. Wrong focus. An old pattern from childhood. To the extent where I reach depression/burnout. And then the alarm clock kicks in. Finally. I should just have surrendered to the uncertainty in the first place. And focusing on relaxing and exploring the yoy of life with my 1,5 year old ❤

Thank you for this. I've been dealing with the uncertainty of an upcoming operation and I can see so many patterns in my thoughts now that are controlled by trying to avoid uncertainty.

@user-uv8hz8kg9d

Ай бұрын

I am going through the exact same thing! I am resisting, over checking, worrying, delaying, hesitating, expecting the worst. good luck to you for your operation. I am now going to rethink seriously and try to be WILLING to take the risk. I owe it to myself.x

5:11 I think and pre plan my classroom lecture scenarios. I brain storm in an attempt to protect myself from all that could go wrong and try to latch on to every little detail to avoid any mishappenings. It costs me my time and my sleep. I give myself the excuse that I'm autistic and uncertainty is hell for me but that is just another layer to it. Yes it's true autism and it's challenges but symptoms can be managed and uncertainty can be tolerated still I'd rather opt for active sabotage or pretentious oblivious suppression than actually deal with the mountain of fear and dread that builds up during the day!

I have a history of starting things and not committing out of fear of failure and not knowing the results will be successful or not. Lately, I decided to make a career change and finally took action by beginning a certificate program at a community college. My fear of failure has also made me not full commit and pursue being a writer. The locus of control is a helpful exercise for me to remind me of what I can control.

Everything you explained makes so much sense. There r a lot of wisdom and truth in living our lives. Thank you so much. You r really a blessing to me.

@67 i’ve learned something about myself here today now I can move forward with something i’ve been putting off for years thank you 😊

You are a diamond, honestly the insight and love you share for those who need it. Is so beautiful. Thank you.

Love your passion of teaching. Thank you for this video. It’s 3:00 am and perfect timing to help settle me .

This is so eye opening for me. I needed this and right at this moment in time❤ thank you for explaining things so well. You really love your job and are so inspiring.

Reassurance seeking and procrastination for sure. Risk mitigation

Thank-you again for making these videos. You've helped me quite a bit over the past couple yrs, as I'm sure many, many others.

You are awesome at explaining things and also telling how to deal with them.

I have good days and bad days, and the bad is all about worries & uncertainty. This is good advice, and you used an upcoming trip as an example, which I’ll be leaving on a trip in 2 weeks. My trips I usually look forward to, seeing family, but this trip, will also have something stressful I need to deal with, causing me too much anxiety. I’ve shortened the duration, thinking that would help, but it didn’t. So, I can cancel, but won’t be seeing my family. 😕 Instead, I’ve decided to take it a day at a time, and if I don’t handle what I need to do, I’m going to try not to worry about it. If it does get done, that would be wonderful. I do need to start accepting that life is unpredictable, and most things I can handle, even though most of the time, I think I can’t. Thanks, again, for all of your awesome advice ! ☺️☺️

I shared this episode with my writer friends. I've seen so many of them sabotage themselves in so many ways. As a retired counselor, I've tried to tell them, but perhaps they need to hear it from a second person to believe it.

This really hit home today. Thank you

I asked myself earlier today why I self sabotage and fail to accomplish my biggest goals? Then this video appeared as I scrolled through articles my phone. It made me really think about my life philosophy and how it hurts me. Thank you for your wisdom.

I appreciate your voice so much Gratitude and thank you for all that you do💫

As a recent college grad, I have to say that you couldn't have released this video at a better time!

Reassurance seeking and avoiding risk. I feel like I have to make sure that I’m doing things the “right way”. This is mostly things that OCD is latching onto; but it spills over to other things at times.

I am paralyzed with anxiety over uncertainty after not making a job I was extremely qualified for. Thank you for this video, it helps a lot looking at things from a different perspective.

In regards to health anxiety, overthinking and research and I miss out on peace until I find out I’m fine.

I love the fact that this was recommended to me at the most perfect timing haha i respect you ma'am your content is amazing

This is so fantastic and helpful. Thank you so much for creating this video!

God bless you, Emma. You save lives and sanities with your channel.

Emma, this is one of the best + most helpful you've ever made!

I have used “making room for uncertainty” three times to stop my negative spiraling thoughts about events/relationships three times since watching the video and reflected on it in my interactive journal with my therapist. She was impressed with my work and of course I credited you! Thanks so much!❤

@tinauslade2508

Ай бұрын

Oh and it is hilarious that the same day I watched this, right before o told my therapist I need a shock collar for my negative self thoughts!

Another insightful video. Thank you so much!

This video has been incredibly insightful. Ty!

Insightful discussion! Embrace the uncertainty as a natural part of our life and decision-making can enhance our resilience and open up an opportunities for our growth and success. 🧠

It's like this was made for me. Thank you. Needed this.

Really helpful and perfectly timed. Thank you for taking the risk of making and publishing this video. 🙂 Your practical tips are especially appreciated!

Needed that - solid chat Thank you

LOVE LOVE THIS! THANK YOU SO MUCH! 🥺❤️

Don’t think I’ve seen a video that explains it better. Thank you 🙏🏽

This is very pertinent to my situation, right now. Thank you.

I REALLY needed to watch this video. Thank you 🙏🏻

Thank you so much for your videos. They have really saved me. Thank you, thank you! 🙏🏾

Thinking about uncertainity I just had a thought in my mind. It maybe linked to our childhood where our caregiver didn't let us explores our surrounding constantly telling us don't do this don't do that which never let us experience what future hold for us even we did something we don't know about

Boy, this is my big one. I’m very keen to master this.

Thank you for this video - i really needed this ❤️❤️❤️

thank you, emma!