I’m in tears right now this is exactly what I’m going through right now.

I wish I had found this video months ago. My ex had drug induced paranoia for two years. He accused me of plotting to kill him, being part of a secret organization controlling his life, surveilling him, etc. I never reacted the right way. Eventually everything came to a breaking point and we split up. I hope other people in similar situations finds this video early enough to make a difference.

@ericapierson-way213

Жыл бұрын

My husband has been suffering from paranoid delusions due to a drug overdose as well. Been a little over a year, wondering if it will ever end.

I face this all the time with my partner and wanted to thank you. This video really helped, if only because it showed me that someone understands what it's like to be with a partner who accuses you of being dangerous or hiding something evil. I try my best to not challenge what they are saying when they are in those frames of mind, but of course it can be difficult because some of the accusations seem so far from reality that my immediate reaction is sometimes to try and calmly point out the flaws in the logic. I am taking your advice to try not to engage in the issue while my partner is still stuck in fear/paranoia mode. Anyone who has dealt with this in someone they love must have felt as I do sometimes; so confused as to what to do to help your loved one to see the reality of who you are. Sometimes it can go from being in a warm and loving relationship with the person I love, to being accused of things I can't believe I am hearing about myself and past events, or being accused of being a dangerous liar pretending to be someone nice...sometimes in the same day. It can be so hard for both of us, my poor fearful partner must suffer so much to have these anxieties about the person she is closest to, but she doesn't seem to see that it is paranoia, she just thinks she sees "who I really am". I would like to try some trust exercises with her, or trust building activites...what would you suggest if anything? Thank you for your work and for sharing this.

@DrJeanetteRaymond

4 жыл бұрын

You are welcome. The best tip is to avoid challenging your partner. That calms them down.

@DrJeanetteRaymond

4 жыл бұрын

@Ryua Vincaux challenging your partner means not buying into their reality; in effect challenging their view of reality: that makes a paranoid person see you as the enemy and acts accordingly.

@Attributetonothing

3 жыл бұрын

Move on

was hoping for something to help me control my own paranoia, but this is kinda helpful in a way

Thank you so much. I never know how to deal with my boyfriend's paranoid attacks. He hurts me so much I just want to leave, and then he uses that against me as if he hadn't caused it. Your explanation helped a lot.

@kevinmawunyaappoh8245

3 жыл бұрын

Wow 😯 seriously this is me at the moment Are saying it’s okay to stay?

@GetFitWithJessie

3 жыл бұрын

This is so me right now 😭

@cherrytutorials7807

9 ай бұрын

This is so meeee 😢

@AdrienneJung.M

2 ай бұрын

Run girl run

@bluntforcetrauma6333

Ай бұрын

Leave

I always try to think "it is just a moment, it will pass" but it just hurts me. He says horribile things and I really don't know what to do... maybe without me he wouldn't have these problems... It really makes me upset. It is not healthy...

@kevinmawunyaappoh8245

3 жыл бұрын

I can relate with that dear, she says very hurtful words that make me think she has a hidden self I never knew about

Everything became clear now, after watching your video thank you great tips for my spouse thank you.

Wonderful Video, it explains a lot in detail. Very Informative!

This is the best video I have seen on this difficult subject. It is my mum not my partner but still so helpful.

So easy to say ghan to do. When you are constantly attacked and accused and they get furious, rageful and even physically aggressive, it isn't easy to keep your sanity. Whatever you do will be misinterpreted. Either you stay calm or try to convince them with their false narrative. It's really exhausting over the years.

@NativeDoll

4 ай бұрын

Very exhausting!!!

@Muhluri

2 ай бұрын

So true. This isn't healthy for either person

Thank you. I cry now.

Thank you Dr. Appreciate the video, it's very helpful.

Dr Raymond, thank you for your videos. I have a spouse who will sometimes accuse me and I remembered your advice on not denying their reality, and you are very correct that it causes a reciprocal fear in me when I am accused of an act of disloyalty- particularly as the thing I am accused of is not something that should be seen as disloyal because it’s not a wholly reasonable expectation. Nevertheless it’s not the case. Your advice helped me not escalate. However, as I couldn’t agree with her accusations/suspicions but didn’t want to argue or deny her reality (combined with my own fear triggered by knowing what is happening) - this caused me to hesitate in my responses and sound tentative in my simple denial and not offer a “defense” and recognize the fear the accusation/interrogation triggered in me. Unfortunately this led to a perception that I was guilty because I wasn’t “firm” in my denial and likely the fear of the interaction I knew was coming showed in my demeanor (particularly as I normally tend to be adamant but have been working on not being defensive as a healthier response). I am unsure what to do. I did offer that my responses were because I was afraid and I then disengaged. And it did keep it from spiraling, but seemingly at the cost of confirming because per her “if I’m not guilty why would I be afraid of the question?” and another piece of long-term damage to our relationship Particularly as I’m imperfect and have let her down in the past out of fear despite being loyal and recognize that I’ve fed into it.

Thank you so much, as a Councilor I have gained some knowledge. Thank you 🙏💙❤️💜

Exactly what I needed thank you ..

your great help thanks

The insight this video provides is tantamount to any other life-saving program or institution. I would love to speak with you and perhaps figure out a way to have my partner both speak with and get therapy from you. Dealing with paranoia is the single most difficult and taxing thing I have ever had to deal with, and of course it is ongoing perhaps until said therapy reaches the core issue(s) and trauma(s). Like all storms, this too shall pass. Thanks again, Doc. All the best to you and yours.

@Mariana-vk3xh

Жыл бұрын

Mario, I'm leaving a relationship in which my partner had a breakout for the first time, about a year ago. I don't see it as it will pass. It doesn't. Has the storm passed for you two?

When should the non-paranoid partner give up and finally leave the paranoid one? I feel like this relationship is probably a huge waste of my time, effort and emotion. I don't think I can hang much longer. Has ANYONE reading this comment ever successfully been able to navigate the relationship back into "normal" waters? We had our 6 year anniversary 4 days ago. We didn't do anything to celebrate (of course) because we were too busy bickering over things that HAVE NEVER HAPPENED. My fiance started suffering from paranoia and persecutory delusions 3 years ago. He was using drugs when it started, so I figured he was suffering from drug induced psychosis. He ended up getting arrested and spent nearly a year in jail and treatment. The paranoia lifted considerably while he was incarcerated. I was SO happy about that! The relief was short-lived because even though my fiance has nearly 500 days clean and sober today, the delusions and paranoia came back! The last 2 months have been horrible. I think my fiance has ruminated on me being such a dangerous and dishonest person so much that he might not ever be able to replace the fear he has towards me with love and respect. It's as if his mind is made up and I am totally screwed because I have spent 6 years of my life with someone who has ended up being scared to death of me. This is one of the worst situations a person can be in relationship wise! I have zero control over what comes next...it depends on what his paranoia conjures up. Do you think we should get in to see a relationship therapist to get back on track? Or, is this problem pretty much incurable? I love my fiance with all I have. The thing is, I have started to love myself again too... If this isn't drug-induced like I thought, I might just have to leave. Does drug-induced psychosis or paranoia ever come back when the person is clean and sober? (kind of like a flashback?) I am exhausted.

@DrJeanetteRaymond

Жыл бұрын

It might be worth considering whether you are caught in a trap of being sacrificial in order to prove your love, to the point of self-destruction. Think about your experience of watching 'love' as a child. What have you internalized about 'love.' Personal therapy will help you explore your underlying unconscious relationship dynamics. You can choose to do it now and give yourself a chance or you can wait until you reach a point when you can't function any longer. Taking care of yourself is necessary to be able to love someone in a healthy way.

@jenrockxoxo

Жыл бұрын

@@DrJeanetteRaymond Thank you so much for replying to my comment! I really appreciate it. As a child, I was fortunate enough to observe my parents' loving marriage. They are still married. Their relationship isn't perfect, but there is no doubt in my mind that they love and respect each other. I don't think I grew up with an unhealthy example of "love". There was never any abuse between my parents. I would say the worst thing they have ever done is argue in front of us...Usually my mom would be frustrated with my dad for not being as emotionally available as he could have been. My dad is a reserved, very kind man and he would miss cues from my mom sometimes when she wanted support from him. She felt like she had to handle things too often by herself. My dad was a professional baseball player and he would be away from us nearly half of the time during the season, so I'm not sure he could have been there for her 100% of the time like she wanted him to be. I think my parents' relationship has been a good example of LOVE for me to have grown up with. I might be mistaken though, because I have a very hard time setting boundaries and I end up getting walked all over. Therapy would be helpful. Do you think it is helpful to undergo couples therapy when one partner is paranoid? Or should I try to do it on my own instead? I don't want to have to break up with my fiance. I love him so much. I just don't know if the ways he has gotten used to thinking of me are going to be able to be replaced with better, more realistic things or not. I don't allow the things he says about me to effect me. I KNOW I am not the way he thinks I am. I don't understand how he can stay with someone who he thinks is so horrible! Does that say something about his own self esteem? Thanks again for your reply. :)

@DrJeanetteRaymond

Жыл бұрын

@@jenrockxoxo the important thing is to take yourself and your emotional health seriously. That means not wishing for your partner will change or reward you because of your loyalty and endurance. Explore yourself in therapy and make good choices for yourself.

@jenrockxoxo

Жыл бұрын

@@DrJeanetteRaymond You are right. I should put in the effort to take care of MYSELF. Another thing you nailed is that I am waiting for him to "reward" me for the loyalty and endurance I have shown in this relationship. It certainly doesn't look like that's going to happen. He freaked out again tonight. I almost left but I'm worried for his safety ever since I found a rope with a noose tied in the end of it about a week ago.

this is an amazing video thank you very much

@jeanetteraymond.ph.d.8398

4 жыл бұрын

Glad you found it helpful.

Thank you

I wish I watched this video earlier. My ex did not have paranoid thoughts towards me but instead to my family especially my sister. She thought my sister was out to ruin her life without any adequate evidence

Thank you so much for making this video. This is exactly what I have been experiencing with my husband and this information has helped me so much to understand him and understand what I have been feeling and the mistakes I have been making when he is expressing his paranoid angry charged thoughts. Thank you for the 5 tips. Knowing this information and tips helps me to know I can stay in our marriage, 20 years so far. After listening to this I went home and spoke with my husband for the 1st time in about 3 weeks and he looked so pleasantly surprised I was talking with him again. I wasn't trying to punish him not talking, I was just trying to protect myself, heal from his hurtful accusations and figure out why he acts like this from time to time and how can I handle it better. So let me say again, thank you so much!

@gailgabriel4464

Жыл бұрын

Im experiencing this as i type my tears are just pouring. As of the moment my husband thinks im cheating and sleeping around even tho we are together 24/7 i dont know how to calm him down at this point any advice?

@kathysmith9492

Жыл бұрын

@@gailgabriel4464 my heart ♥ is sad for you and your husband. Sad he is in so much pain because his paranoid perspective and for you to be on the receiving end of it. In the beginning of this video Dr. Raymond she said we can't calm our paranoid spouce down because that just increases their paranoia. Listen to the video again because she gives 5 great tips of the best way you can handle yourself when your spouse has a paranoid outburst.

@gailgabriel4464

Жыл бұрын

@@kathysmith9492 yes i believe so… its so painful that i cant help him get better … i hope and pray he gets help cause i want my loving husband back 😢 i hope u and ur husband stand strong girl

@kathysmith9492

Жыл бұрын

@@gailgabriel4464 Thank you. Most of the time I am good at and have learned to not take what he says personally when he is spewing out ugly mean comments about me and our marriage. And whenever possible I remove myself from his presence when he starts to express his paranoid based thoughts. But if it happens when we are driving somewhere that's when it's hard to remove myself from his presence. When I can remove myself from his presence it is not with anger; it's with love for both of us. ♥️

@Mariana-vk3xh

Жыл бұрын

@@gailgabriel4464 I know exactly what you're going through. Unfortunately, being a psychologist and having spoken to many professionals, this kind of disorder is only partially treatable with medication, it only works in some cases, and up to now, there's no foreseable cure or possibility of total remission. In this kind of cases , sometimes we have to decide whether we leave or we stay. I know I can't stay. It alters my daily life and my own mental health to the point of not being able to work. With all the sadness in the world, I will stay away.

Well my ex wife was bipolar as her mom said , well wish her well

A trigger with the man I was dating, I ordered food for us and his meal made him sick.... though he received the food from the delivery guy and opened his own meal- he claims I am trying to poison him. Since then anything is a cause for his concern - it’s been frustrating, stressful, and annoying ... feels like every couple week he adds a new accusation and reminds me of the old paranoid accusations ...

@veronicamarcotte8108

3 жыл бұрын

This is exactly what I am going through. I just want to love him... And even if I send.... ... He tells me that's a lifeline as in I'm indicating he is going to die

@persianqu33n

2 жыл бұрын

Leave while you can. Won’t get better

You're describing HEIDI ROMERO from Carson, CA 🤭

My hopefully soon to be ex-wife is like this. I cant wait to escape this nightmare.

I have this in every relationship its crippling

Watching this video now because My live in boyfriend of 1 year has this . Paranoid Personality Disorder . Not sure if he was diagnosed with it but he told me he was in a mental hospital for a year at age 11 but the only diagnosis he remembers was Agoraphobia. So 2 months into the relationship is when the symptoms presented . He accused of of cheating on him when I went to our bathroom . He said that I snuck someone in our house. He was in the next room. We are always together and up until today he accused me of cheating , doing crack (I don’t drink or smoke). He was yelling and sweating badly believing his fears !!!! said I don’t love him or touch him and I do. I go through this every 4 days and I fight back defending myself and the arguments get worse . He tells people I’m abusive when his paranoia makes him abusive. He won’t go to see a psychiatrist at all!!!

@persianqu33n

2 жыл бұрын

Girl, LEAVE!!! It will only get worse! He will always believe his accusations and years will add to them! Leave while you can and save yourself! Read the other comments

@Mlpgirl168

2 жыл бұрын

That sounds extremely dangerous. Be safe.

@callumrutherford7730

Жыл бұрын

Yeah look at all the comments, the men saying 'thank you I'm going to try ur advice' 'this helped so much' And the women: leave, leave, leave.

Hey, I'm dealing with this with my partner who is 18 with a strict Asian mom while online dating, I'm 19 and I dated her for a year but one little argument ruined everything cause the next day a phone call her parents got from the FBI made her paranoid I'm trying to kidnap her and human traffick her, even though I'd never do that, I love her so much, she's my baby girl practically. I only started investigating her absense after she missed my birthday and I was thinking she hated me now or something, nope she's paranoid.

Didn't really want to comment here, but you seem like you wouldn't consider it a bother to hear from me, so here goes. I am paranoid bf, my SO has cheated on me in the past (confirmed by SO) and has since done other things both confirmed and suspected and now I have nightmares about being hurt by her. I am having a very hard time overcoming the trust issues that followed. We have talked about it at length and while talking about it with her brings me comfort I still have a feeling of being unresolved. I am perfectly happy with her when she is in my presence, but become desperately afraid of what she could be doing when I am not with her, it drives me to do unhealthy things such as invade her privacy which takes a toll on her. I don't really know what I am asking, I am just anxious to make the worry stop.

@erinlanghoff1126

4 жыл бұрын

@Ryua Vincaux what are you trying to handle it?

@slyeden6701

3 жыл бұрын

@@erinlanghoff1126 I get you. Ive been having similar situations with my own boyfriend. Im trying to go to therapy to fix this feelings but its pretty hard because even if I try to understand logically my emotions will block it. Its a tough situation

@erinlanghoff1126

3 жыл бұрын

@@slyeden6701 covid quarantine has actaully helped our relationship out a lot, since shes with me most of the time, so much so that i find myself not worrying when she isnt with me now, a show that trust is returning. Idk if that will last past quarantine but I now have hope.

@sarahwozniak5638

Жыл бұрын

I don’t think this is the same level of paranoia. Your SO betrayed your trust. That is broken. You are not obligated to maintain the relationship, especially since it is detrimental to your health. I really think this video speaks to unprovoked paranoia. There is a clear reason you don’t feel safe in the relationship. Maybe not in this exact moment, but that your SO is a fact, not a delusion.

This can be caused by over use of marijuana.

@DrJeanetteRaymond

5 жыл бұрын

Migs Starflower thanks for your comment. Paranoia is part of a disturbed experience of attachment figures when showing up in a romantic relationship. Weed may promote or exacerbate it, but isn’t likely to cause it ,

I wish I had seen this video 17 years ago.

This is my mother. And she refuses to see or speak to me after almost 5 years.

I lost my love of my life becAuse of this mental problem with substance abuse.

@angelbrumfield6134

2 жыл бұрын

I'm so sorry hun I wish you nothing but healing and finding peace ❤️

@zulekhaabdi1307

9 ай бұрын

I did the same 😢

Dr Jeanette... what if the paranoid partner takes real actions to separate himself from his spouse, cancels their common plans and projects while in this paranoid state, which btw does not pass on its own... what to do then? what's the best way to bring them back reality?

@DrJeanetteRaymond

4 жыл бұрын

Unfortunately the paranoid partner is defending against reality. The harder you try to force them to face reality, the more paranoid they get. You have to make them feel safe by making room for their reality and not getting into a battle about it. Then they are more likely to trust you as accepting them. It is a very long process and needs your patience and understanding. The most important thing is to try to avoid appearing controlling or "right."

@otaighorhonor4806

3 жыл бұрын

@@DrJeanetteRaymond and if you're right?, how do you make them understand that you're right without having to cause any big issue

@DrJeanetteRaymond

3 жыл бұрын

@@otaighorhonor4806 A paranoid person is afraid of everything that you may throw at them, so it's folly to make them do anything. You can't make anyone understand something that threatens them. They only escalate their paranoia as they experience you as trying to control them to serve your own agenda. If and when the paranoid person feels safe enough in the world then they might make room for the possibility that you have a different perception of things that WONT THREATEN THEM.

@svetlankaivanovq7472

3 жыл бұрын

@@DrJeanetteRaymond I've always tried to understand my paranoid boyfriend and I NEVER threatened him. I was always very kind, very calm and showed him only care and gave him time for himself. However, his behavior just worsened with time. The paranoia is not just "something that will pass ". And trying to understand my partner has led me to VERY BAD times.

@Mariana-vk3xh

Жыл бұрын

@@svetlankaivanovq7472 Agreed. Staying is unhealthy. You're not helping him, you're not helping yourself. It is a harsh and extremely painful truth, but it's either their paranoia (because they are not who you love any more), or you. I chose me.

Dr. Jeanette, thank you for a clearer understanding of this disorder. My partner and I have been dealing with a lot from an accident he got into. After the accident he became very distant and keeps saying more bad things are going to happen if he stays with me. He thinks me and my family and friends are bad luck, what can I do to convince him that I am not that way?

@jeanetteraymond.ph.d.8398

4 жыл бұрын

Ameda, it must be very frustrating for you to be perceived so negatively by your boyfriend. Given that he was traumatized by the accident, he may have developed some paranoia as a defense to everything in the world he can't control. Trying to get him to give that up will be very threatening to him and will make it worse. He will experience your efforts as proof that you are out to harm him. The best way of managing it is to show him that you understand his fears, and that you and your family as simply the screen on which he projects his horror movie. If you can tolerate it he may gradually become less threatened.

@amedaharris5220

4 жыл бұрын

@@jeanetteraymond.ph.d.8398 Should I just give him space and not contact him for a while or should I reach out and try to convince him that we are not bad energy?

Dr. Is PPD recoverable?

@jeanetteraymond.ph.d.8398

2 жыл бұрын

Since PPD is a personality disorder, it is not a disease that one can be cured of or recover from. The condition is exacerbated by perceived inner and outer threats, and managing the threat and safety levels for the person concerned is the key to effective managment.

Why does my partner think i am making his video while talking?

Is my reaction to my girlfriends body language with another guy paranoia, me not accepting the reality of human nature, or am I right and I should be concerned ?? I’ll never know

@DrJeanetteRaymond

2 жыл бұрын

It's a trigger that evokes a sense of threat inside you. The threat of betrayal, suspicion and that you are not important. Work on that, and get a reality check from other people.

Hi, i really want to have a one onnone chat with you

I'm not my fathers partner I'm his son he's very narcissistic and full of double standards that's why I can't trust him . Plus I have anxiety attacks !

I'm no longer paranoid about pigeons laying eggs in my beard. Thankyou

My mother suffer from paranoia all her life and is the perfect way to destroying relationships. I have no patience and she cause too much anxiety so I talk to her only once a month, sometimes twice. I just can't handle hearing the BS that cross her mind and her explanations for it don't make sense at all. Is hard to keep a normal conversation cause she misinterpret everything and start the verbal abuse. She refuse to get help cause she think that God cured her from her depression when she had a nervous breakdown at work when I was too young to remember. So Idk what is to have a normal mother and is really hard to deal with it. I have no patience and I call it out for what it is so that end the conversation. Voila! I might be a bad daughter is peoples eyes but I'm no psychologist and I'm tired of being abused.

@vkng_drag0n982

3 жыл бұрын

All my family keep her at very far length cause she can make a scene and start lying about family members to the rest of the family. She totally destroy her own side of the family with her comments. She need treatment big time. I wish she try it. I suggest it many times but all hell break loose when I dare. So I am on treatment for my issues. I refuse to end up like her.

We were saying is absolutely 100% real and I value your insight . My lady is sitting in jail right now because of her extreme paranoid delusions . It has completely taken her over to a dark place where rational reality does not exist whatsoever . I don't know if she can come back from this . I I'm now the single parent of a 10-month-old boy who was breastfeeding when she was drug from my house kicking and screaming . I don't even know how to feel about all this . I called the jails mental health facility and left a message. I told them that she's not a criminal that is a mental health issue and I have not received a call back. I'm sure her behavior has reinforced what I said in my message. I'm so sad and I don't want to see her get thrown away , I don't know what to do

Thank you