It’s refreshing to find people who understand and validate emotional abuse coupled with faith. Thank you. 🙏🏻

@drdavidbhawkins

Жыл бұрын

Thanks for your comment, hope you found it helpful.

Ladies. These agents of evil. If you feel unseen, unloved, unheard, manipulated, and aren't enjoying the relationship, it's time to get therapy and organize your exit. Heal yourself and leave.

Thank you for this. I'm preparing to separate from my emotionally and verbally abusive spouse. I need this to keep from the anxiety I'm filled with. God bless you

@bibouyazid3354

20 сағат бұрын

❤

Quietly detaching emotionally makes him blame me for being “unforgiving, resentful, and angry.” I am not sure we can heal while living with a toxic person. It’s like hoping to heal when you keep breathing toxic air - even if you have some tactics to try to heal, you are still breathing toxic air and healing becomes quite impossible. It’s like getting shot and telling myself “I wasn’t shot, I’m fine.” After attempts to talk and various gradual interventions, if destruction is still taking place it is better for both just to walk away.

“Seek what is true and let the voice of God in you confirm what is true” Something that really resonated. You are a child of the most high King Thank you for posting this.

Just 2.5 months. That's the entire time I was under this type of abuse. I just came out of it. The symptoms started in 1 week and I can't believe the way my body is healing from it. It's real. It feels like a detox coming out of my system. the psychological damage in such a short time is felt. I'm healing. This video is exactly what happens. I am releasing the bondage and denial system. I feel like I escaped my soul's kidnapping and I am empowered by relearning who I am. The fearful thoughts and panic appear out of the blue and I talk to myself that I am safe now. Thank you for this!!

@sparecash7199

4 ай бұрын

How did you get out? Well done 🎉🎉🎉🎉

Wow I was diagnosed with Hypertension Lyme disease and now breast cancer These folks are of the devil God is good He has given me the strength to move on I couldn’t be happier My 14 year old son is doing much better too. Thx you for this video

@drdavidbhawkins

9 ай бұрын

Hope you found it helpful, thanks for your feedback

This is spot on… keeping in mind that the NPD person can be and often is a women/ wife and the man/ husband is the victim.

It's so debilitating when I crave just kind loving touch and an emotional connection with my husband, but the only time he touches me, it's in a sexual way. Therefore, I recoil from him even touching me...which hurts me so deeply. I want that closeness of loving touch...I NEVER get it. We've been married for 23 years (this Saturday). It wasn't this way when we first got together, so I KNOW he knows how to do this...I've been so heartbroken for so many years now. I was diagnosed with MS almost 10 years ago when I went blind in one eye. Can MS be a result of this continuous emotional abuse? I relate to everything you said in this video...everything. Thank you so much for your gentle approach to bringing awareness to this subject. I thought I was going crazy for so long. Every time I have tried to talk to him and explain to him how I'm feeling, he turns it into an argument. Then I question myself asking if he's right...am I the problem here...no, I'm not.Thank you for validating my feelings and giving me words to express how I'm feeling.

@drdavidbhawkins

3 жыл бұрын

Unfortunately, people with abusive or narcissistic tendencies are rarely self-aware or introspective enough to realize the impact their behaviors are having on their spouse. It usually takes an intervention and intensive counseling from someone trained to recognize and confront emotional abuse. However, as Sharmen mentioned in this video, you can focus on your own healing path regardless of what he chooses to do, or not do. So glad you found our content helpful.

@laurac5451

3 жыл бұрын

Join a meet up group of whatever interest you have. Find friends. That's the only way to get needs met for socialization hugs. Honesty.

@theangriestoftabbies

2 жыл бұрын

MS can absolutely be a consequence or symptom of emotional abuse/CPTSD. I’ve seen this more than once. You can heal ❤️

I must say it’s so utterly heartbreaking when I read all the comments understanding that men are meant to represent Christ to their wives in the way He loves His church. I know no man is perfect but what kind of an epidemic are we in when there is just way too many numbers of abusive men?! What are we as a society doing wrong to produce this kind of male ???

I needed this video to learn how to deal with my emotionally abusive parents. I’ve had severe health issues since infancy, which have made me dependent on them. I’m going to use this information to break free from their abuse, even if it means I’ll be living on the street. But I’m praying God won’t let it come to that. Thank you for this.🙏🕊️

@tammylines2779

8 ай бұрын

i will pray for you

You nailed this. Thank you!

@drdavidbhawkins

3 жыл бұрын

We're so glad you found this video helpful. You can access more related content and helpful advice from our therapists by subscribing to our KZread channel, or signing up for our mailing list: www.marriagerecoverycenter.com/mailing-list

Thank you very much. As someone who has been often told by people of faith that my mental health issues is a product of a lack of faith, this has been very enlightening.

@drdavidbhawkins

10 ай бұрын

Sadly, that is a form of spiritual abuse. Here's a video you may find helpful on spiritual abuse: kzread.info/dash/bejne/hK2dj7Wxl7GpmZM.html

I am so blessed and happy I found you. Finally someone who understands exactly what christian wives go through. Every thing you said is 100% true. So much abuse and using the bible. The church failed me when I reached out for help. I didn’t get answers from the church I couldn’t understand why , was i going crazy and I was so physically, emotionally and mentally sick I was suicidal. in my efforts to heal so I can take care of my children especially my little autistic child I was falling into the New age because they had the language they knew about Narcissistic abuse and i thought i finally had answers but it was a constant chasing. I know only God can really heal you and give you the peace and love we seek. I am so grateful that Christian followers can now have a voice and beautiful followers of Christ such as yourself and your organization are helping the world be aware of this because it’s destroying lives. Thank you for your grace and kindness thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. God bless you in Jesus Christ name. Amen.

@drdavidbhawkins

6 ай бұрын

Thank you for your feedback and encouraging words. We are so glad you found us and hope we can be of help in your healing journey. God Bless.

This was like God speaking straight into my heart..thank you ever so much..

@drdavidbhawkins

3 жыл бұрын

You're welcome! If you found this helpful and would like access to more related content and helpful advice from our therapists, subscribe to our KZread channel, or visit our blog at marriagerecoverycenter.com/blog/

@mrsresell2519

3 жыл бұрын

@@drdavidbhawkins thank you, yes I have been a subscriber for a while now..very, very good advice and help on this channel indeed.

Can’t thank you enough for your message of encouragement, hope and healing! You are an angel! Brought tears to me as you spoke to my heart - as someone who KNOWS what I’ve been dealing with in my marriage. Finding my voice again, authenticity, a daughter of the Most High God. My prayer is one of heartfelt thanksgiving for you, and one of petition of abundant grace of healing for all victims of emotional and narcissistic abuse! Thank you!

@drdavidbhawkins

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for your kind words and prayers! Knowing that we are helping people like you is what keeps us motivated and committed to doing what we do. God Bless.

So good! I consider myself a relatively smart woman but didn't truly see the extent of the covert abuse for 28 yrs

@drdavidbhawkins

3 жыл бұрын

It's so hard to put a finger on it, that's why they call this behavior crazy making. Glad you found our video and hope that you are getting the support and help you need to break free of the abuse and heal. If you would like to access more related content and helpful advice from our therapists, subscribe to our KZread channel, or visit our blog at marriagerecoverycenter.com/blog/

@adamslaura768

3 жыл бұрын

I was blind for 34 years… it wasn’t until I earned a counseling degree I saw my own codependency and capitulation. I’m still hoping for healing. Still in my marriage 36 years… but it’s been very difficult

@stt6794

Жыл бұрын

Same. 37 years of it here. No more.

It is true in what you are saying. I'm married to a Malignant narcissistic with psychopath tendency. Being married to a Malignant Narcissistic is no picnic and Financial abuse has taken it told! I have taken back my life and put my life back together. My health is important to me. I'm in the process of getting a divorce and moving on with my life. With Jesus Christ strength new bring in my life. In Jesus Christ name Amen

Excellent description of what it's like to live with a narcissist, and excellent suggestions on how to heal. Thank you, Sharmen.

Hopefully there's an understanding that wives can be the abuser, as you've described, too!! Unfortunately, that's the position I'm in. It's sad that I feel like I'm stuck and there's no way out! 26+ years and a few children still at home. I cannot live like this anymore!!! But what can I do??!!

@AyleseW

Жыл бұрын

It's terrible! I have seen women destroy men, and so few people believe the men, you're not alone. Both men and women with these traits create damage to their children too. I have seen adults working to heal their mother and father wounds, but the mothers wounding with emotional abuse is SO destructive. We are wired to receive nurturing and comfort from our mother the most, so when there is emotional neglect or emotional abuse covertly or overt, it goes down deep, distorting the child's sense of self and attachment ability. Maybe learning more about your attachment style and how your wife may have affected your children's attachment development and their sense of identity might give you a greater sense of empowerment to move towards a healing place for you and them that feels less trapped? 🙏

I appreciate your clip. My experience was reverse rolls through! It's been rough and heartbreaking to go thru! I never heard of narcissist until going thru 12yrs of this in what I thought was forever! 😔

Thank you for this truth! Cowardly pastors don't want to deal with it. It's sad. They just want to live in their fantasy land while 30% of their congregation lives in abuse. God delivered me one year ago exactly today and the peace and freedom are real. I've been very isolated. Lost friends and mine and his family because he's still slandering me. He also slandered me at my son's activities as well. He lies and everyone believes him. It's hard to trust people, but my son is healthy, God cares about me and it is still better than living in the abuse.

Like an object, pulled off the narc’s shelf to fulfill the checklist..only negative feedback given along with a moving finish line. I could go on..I’m going to sit in the sauna instead to sweat out toxins and enjoy listening to Jazz ‘cuz the past need not be given but a crumb in the now. I’m all for continuing my education, something this video is packed full of and managing triggers so I can own the direction my mind goes instead of it owning me is the secret sauce, for sure!

@drdavidbhawkins

3 жыл бұрын

Good for you! Detoxing your mind and body is a great daily practice! This video is part of a comprehensive series on healing from emotional abuse, so stay tuned and subscribe to our channel for more videos like this one!

You, my dear, are an inspiration to me, and many! This was SO my life! Thank you for your gentle way of connecting with me/us.

@drdavidbhawkins

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. If you would like access to more related content and helpful advice from our therapists, subscribe to our KZread channel, or visit our blog at marriagerecoverycenter.com/blog/

@kellyhenson3316

3 жыл бұрын

@@drdavidbhawkins I'm a subscriber! Thank you.

Oh Sharmen; Thank you, Thank you for ministering to women and other victims everywhere. I thank God for you and your work! He lives! 🧎

@drdavidbhawkins

3 жыл бұрын

Thanks for your kind words of encouragement. We're glad you found this helpful. If you would like access to more related content and helpful advice from our therapists, subscribe to our KZread channel, or visit our blog at marriagerecoverycenter.com/blog/

The sex part: they can use sex opposite of your points as well. Withholding intimacy as punishment. And if not punishment, at the least not seeing your partners needs as important

As a previous client of MRC, I want to encourage anyone thinking of seeking their help to step out in faith. Your heart is safe with them, they are patient, loving, and very caring. It takes two to heal a marriage, getting your healing is the focus, start their and see what happens.

@BrandNewDay356

3 жыл бұрын

I've been looking for reviews of this practice and can't find any - thanks for this comment! We would have to travel to get there so I just want to make sure it'd be worth it...

When I get out of line I am threatened with divorce. It has being going on for many years and frankly its embarassing! It's Always something I did whether its a small project in the yard or not keeping the house clean enough, not disciplining the children the right way meaning his way.. Was in counseling with many therapists and all he heard was it's all MY FAULT.. Read all the countless books over the years going out of my way to try to fix our marriage and still I am the village idiot..Maddening and meant to be so in order for him to be in control of all. Unfortunately I am not the only victim!

Man i NEEDED TO HEAR this!!!! Especially using the Bible

My narc has never forced himself on me ever. And he is an amazing lover, so I almost never resist him, even if I'm mad at him for valid reasons But he would withhold sex for months, And all because he doesn't want to resolve a matter of concern , that I'd raised. I stopped making sexual advances years ago, because he harshly blocks my advances. It breaks you as a wife emotionally, because you feel unworthy, like something's wrong with you 😢 The damage has just destroyed me as a person, I just pray every day for God to stop my ticker, so I can just peacefully die in my sleep, of a broken heart 💔

@RexRaven22

7 ай бұрын

Hope you are well

@blueskiesarelovely

24 күн бұрын

This made me tear up...I know how you feel. You are not alone and I'm praying for you. ❤❤❤❤❤

@bronwynsimons7028

24 күн бұрын

@blueskiesarelovely Thank You dear friend. I appreciate your comment 💓

2:24 in and I’m so thankful for this video

Love this video, beautifully said and you can tell she has a beautiful soul!

I had no idea until I left!

Amazing ... exactly the problem well defined. Thank you so much

I love this how true ! Thank you for this!💝

I so needed to hear this. TY TY TY.

Yes! Thank you, this is my life! Thank you!

Very helpful information there!! Thank you very much!!

Validating comforting and so much truth x Thankyou

@drdavidbhawkins

3 жыл бұрын

Glad it spoke to you. For more related content and helpful advice from our therapists, subscribe to our KZread channel, or sign up for our mailing list to be notified of new content!www.marriagerecoverycenter.com/mailing-list

Yes, exactly described my relationship with siblings, constantly treated as the Scapegoat, gaslit, DARVO, etc

I have been keeping my eyes on God and the time for me to leave this toxicity is beyond staying here and in this marriage it's unsafe we have had no physical or sexual contact for over a year . I am being told I am not needed and need to go on that thought my full plan is to be gone in two days. Freedom to be myself freedom to not walk on eggshells any more . Freedom to not be seen as the lover he points out but the beautiful creation God had made in me to be . Freedom to shower on my own Freedom to do everything I need to do and it being important enough to drive me forward in God's plan which definitely isn't in this nightmare

@jp5419

Жыл бұрын

It's time. Don't look back. No contact.

Thank you for your kind words I needed as I go

3:13 wow, it was always like this in conversations, when my opinion differed. The sensitivity accusations, and how i just wanted him to say i love you more, which there was a massively aren't that left me a mess

@lavenderwarrior1

5 ай бұрын

Arguments*

After listening to this, I can see why our society is the way it is where women are running around single well into their 40s and 50s sleeping around and can’t hold a relationship. They take the slightest gesture from their partner, a man, to compromise some of their single life habits to be a better partner, wife, mother as controlling and emotional abuse. When I meet single women and they say their last bf was controlling - that’s a big red flag that she’s not ready for a serious relationship. If any woman are honest, faithful, loving and care about building a strong healthy relationship with a man, the man will most likely not be “controlling”. Let me say it another way - if a woman is always out there F-ing around, their partner will call them out on their BS and it will come across as controlling.

Absolutely wonderful. Thank you bunches..

@drdavidbhawkins

Жыл бұрын

Hope you found it helpful, thanks for your comment

Many ppl have hurt me like anyone else experiencing being hurt but the worst that has got me to watch this video is by someone who just took over my hard work smartly instead of helping me given their role. I find that disgusting and I don’t know how I m going to get over it

This is an annointed speech.

This was really enlightenment ❤

Wow. Great video

From my experience, in every situation where anyone as an adult(?), loses control of their emotional self, this causes a fear response in a victim that allows evil to enter between people. Be it 2 or more. Having an adopted mother who had hysterical moments, I've witnessed nightmares as a child as a result of a lack of self control. There is something to this which I can not humanly explain. God is in control though, not the unregulated anger which is unnatural. Not a person who cannot have peace in their heart or their habits. Yes. His voice has to be louder than the voice of a person who's out of control emotionally and in every human form. You just never know how this can encourage more abuse down the road for an abused child. Like we become a magnet for it and exacerbates in physical ailments. We must recognize the evil in this abuse as a tool for human pain which must be addressed for peace in our people. God Bless all of you and you can escape their blind hearts.

@drdavidbhawkins

10 ай бұрын

Yes, the pain must be addressed. Thanks for your comment

excellent presentation. so much information. thank you

@drdavidbhawkins

2 жыл бұрын

Glad it was helpful. For more related content, subscribe to our channel or sign up for our newsletters for more helpful articles and videos from our therapists: marriagerecoverycenter.com/mailing-list/

My husband would withhold sex because he was always mad me for some reason or another. Sex was very limited in our relationship, which after a while, was ok with me and that’s when he decided he wanted it.

Thank you 😊 so much this is very helpful information 🙏,the best biblical principles on KZread,I am married to an narcissist husband for 40years, this year, but we are separated for almost 10years,I am on my healing path,but love the boundaries,in your mind ❤️

@drdavidbhawkins

Жыл бұрын

So glad you found it helpful. we wish you the best in your healing journey. God bless.

@sharonmagdalenebooysen2874

Жыл бұрын

@@drdavidbhawkins thank you Dr Hawkins,May God give you wisdom 🙏😀 to heal broken men.....

@lighthouse.health8484

Жыл бұрын

I'm healing from emotional abuse and am in the process of divorcing after 25 years. I want to disengage and let HIM own his own healing journey. However after discovering MRC, I'd like to urge him to come to an intensive with me as a last ditch effort. How can I reconcile the thought of disengaging with his healing process, and also urging and/ or issuing an ultimatum about attending an intensive seminar at MRC??

Great wisdom

Truth!!!

Thank you ❤️

@drdavidbhawkins

3 жыл бұрын

You’re welcome, glad you found it helpful.

Such a need words to hear

Exactly 💯 by checklist i have to follow to be loved .

@marymokoena1537

Жыл бұрын

I have this baldness in my top head like alopecia

@marymokoena1537

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for boundaries and discernment of words of God. ❤️ 😍 💖

Exactly what I’m going through.

Good explanation

Thank you for sharing the truth of narcissism. 23 years together 18 years married. He was nice quiet guy in the beginning. I had spiritual awakening in 2020 so I waited a year to see if he would have one before I said anything then I was crazy when I know I’m right but always being wrong was use to it. The past 2 years we have argued more than ever cause I truly love myself more than ever. That’s wrong with him. He is controlling when it comes to how I dress and sex putting hand on throat. Wants me to wear a thong and show cleavage. I’m 51 he is 40. He sent me a video about men are sexual humans 85 percent of men have to have sex but also says only 15 percent of women want sex. Menopause and spiritual with a judge mental husband. He wants me to sleep naked I told him that I feel more comfortable in my panties and tank top to sleep in. I didn’t realize he was a narcissist till 2 years ago cause he thinks he knows everything and shuts anything I said about what is happening down. I learned to not say anything about it again. Thank you ❤to all.

Oh my gosh literally what my husband had told me for 26 years! I am not allowed to say no to sex because it is sin for me to do so.

Wow point on!

@drdavidbhawkins

Жыл бұрын

Hope you found it helpful, thanks for your feedback

Omg my ex DA said I was overthinking & picking pick pick pick everything was ok before I voiced my needs 😢 thus given why she had a outburst blaming me for all the damaged caused, then ended it n blocked me

This is spot on sadly Is this gal still available? I’d like her for my therapy. She gets it.

@drdavidbhawkins

3 жыл бұрын

Please reach out to our Client Care Team at (206) 219-0145 or info@marriagerecoverycenter.com to find out about working with Sharmen. She is absolutely amazing to work with! You can also learn more here: marriagerecoverycenter.com/meet-sharmen-kimbrough/

I don't get offended when people say mankind because I know that includes us all. Let's focus on the content. It has been long known that women are just as capable of being abusers and have cluster B personality disorders. To all the men who suffer, we know it and belie e and see you. Start groups. Our boys need male mentors to learn this exerpience from. We need to weed these monsters out of humanity.

AMEN.💜

This goes with my ex for sure. She would flip this on me and only be ok if I was quiet and loving and just went along with all she did and wanted

I know this is 2 years old but studies have shown over 200 years. That this is not a gender or age issue. It happens if both men and women of all ages. I as a male have been abused by my Covert-Narc trait mother. As well as my Covert-Narc trait ex-wife and her mother. The grandmother of our children. That has histrionic traits. I would appreciate if you could find a ways to remove gender from this abuse...

GOD way back..in an.. AH AH moment..thru HIS WORD defined to me what a loving relationship was.. So i knew how PRECIOUS I WAS & i never again let him trample on me..thru a false love ..not btw us but for himself..after 40 years..hand in hand with GOD.. VICTORY is ALWAYS mine..GByall❤

Wow…🎯🎯🎯

This is so good. Is it possible to get this in written form?

@drdavidbhawkins

3 жыл бұрын

Unfortunately, we do not have this in written form. Glad you found it helpful.

@rogersfamilyfarm6877

3 жыл бұрын

IF you go to setting on the you tube video you can down load the transcript of this video if that helps :)

Just found out, now 6 years later

Stopped this video at 2:47. On a different video I just watched I posted a long comment. I'm going to copy and paste here. What do I need immediately? Wow that's not possible to happen in one day! I have already dealt with the worst one took 20 years to get away from him. Then I met another one that took 5 years to get rid of him. I'm in another one that has been 5 years now. I blame covid for still being with this one. I know he is not going to change and I don't want to salvage anything with him. What I need in the very soon future is an affordable place for my family and me to live and reconnect with each other. I know that these kind of people don't change and I really don't want them interfering with my family bonds. At this point with the one I'm stuck with now there has not been any physical abuse. I can see he is getting close to doing it. I try to be quiet and not say things or do things to irritate him. I try to say just enough so he doesn't think I'm really working on finding some way out of this relationship with him. It still makes him mad because I don't talk to him like I used to. Which is because I give him to much info and it makes things worse. Meaning then he will bring up the topics to sit and bash people in anyway he can. I'm not a person that finds that to be entertaining. I sometimes mention things that bothered me during my day. He takes that as a way to talk shit about this or that or whatever. I am disgusted by the way he seems to enjoy that. I find myself defending anyone he is talking crap about even if the person is someone who bothered me and he doesn't know them, like co workers. He complains about people frequently and I used to stand up for them because I don't know them and it's possible he is reacting in a bad way with them for some simple misunderstanding or something. I don't get into the bitch and complain about people when they aren't there to defend themselves and when I don't know them or he doesn't know them. It is really a waste of time and energy that is much better spent appreciating things and people in your life. He is a liar... well I can't say that exactly. He is 46 and has taught himself to lie about things and forget about bad things. To the point that he can't seem to remember much. Since he automatically lies about whatever then automatically forgets about the bad thing (the incident that he felt he had to lie about). I have tried to talk to him about these lies and how they were affecting me. He can't remember though because it's an automatic response thing he has been doing for many years. He is not willing to talk to me about any of this. Instead he will only remind me of the few times I was not good to him. It's the same way the other relationships I had went. The next step that those other ones got to was physical abuse. They cannot handle song their own truths and then they lash out and physically do harm. I think the reason this one hasn't is because he is not a strong guy. He had his friends beat up or threaten people who messed with him when he was younger. He acts like he's big and tough but he isn't and he will tell one of his friends or family members to go fuck that person up. Which to me is a very unattractive thing. I'm not into people beating each other up. So please tell me how to get into a place for my family and me to live with my very low income. I can't use community resources because he is already using that to pay the bills where we live because he found out with having a baby that they will help in tremendous ways. So he doesn't even try to put any money from his pay for bills anymore. I just started work again but have very few hours because my mom is in her 70s and is my free child care. I feel like this little blurp video was only to promote your whatever classes to fix the shitty man. So what about the many who don't really care about fixing a shifty old man anymore? That was what i posted to that other video. So far this video seems much better

What about men who are being abused?

How does she knows everything about me?)

And she is attempting to move up in her church as well

EeEverything you said, but I trust no one. Im thinking about getting a trained service dog abd a cat. I dont need people

Oof. Sounds like you think men act like my sister, mother, and aunt. This is pretty sexist language. Hopefully you can heal and move past the hate. I hope you got away form whoever was hurting you, but please don't lay it out like it's men doing this and not bad people. Anyone can be a bad person and anyone can be a good one. Good luck.

LISTEN why do you talk about Him being bad ? She can also be the one with Narcissism traits, so get it right, dont just say the woman is the victim, Enough said !!!

@drdavidbhawkins

8 ай бұрын

Agreed, thanks for your feedback

Too much reference of God. Is this a religious channel? God isn't doing the healing. Only you yourself can do it. Everything else I agree with in this video but not sure what God has got to do with it?