Learning about unmasking is interesting. This is a great video series. Thank you!

I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately, and I think it’s potentially quite useful to understand social masking and self masking as two separate things. Yes, they can be and most likely are heavily intertwined if you do both, but for me at least, it helped open some doors that were previously closed when it came to the process of discovering/becoming a more authentic me.

@consuelonavarrohidalgo5334

4 күн бұрын

👍🏻👍🏻

Amen. Learning to say “no”. That drives me crazy that NT folk just don’t like our questions ….

@christinelamb1167

4 күн бұрын

I've always asked so many questions my whole life, and I never saw anything wrong with it. But people always seem to be so annoyed with me when I ask questions. Now that I know I'm autistic (late diagnosed at age 60), it makes more sense! But I honestly don't understand the annoyance, though. I'm happy to answer anyone's questions, especially if it makes them feel more comfortable in a situation.

Thank you for your truthfulness ❤🙏

Thank you, this has been very helpful! So many things resonated with me very well! This made me realise that masking isn't just how other people see me regarding my autistic traits, but about basically leaving my comfort zone in order to feel accepted. And also I have not heard earlier that masking is a trauma response, even though trauma and autism are closely linked and discussed in many videos. Makes perfect sense, though.

I was very aware I was masking before I was diagnosed autistic at 26, but that doesn’t seem to be the norm. I think the fact that I grew up in a toxic family made me super self-aware. I kept telling loved ones and therapists ‘I feel like I’m not being myself around most people, they don’t know the real me, I feel like I’m wearing a mask’ and it really affected my mental health (still does, but now I understand it better). Therapists had no idea how to deal with it so they’d be confused and say ‘but what is it you do on your own that you can’t do around other people?’ and I didn’t really know how to answer because I hadn’t figured out what my mask looked like yet. I can’t believe they knew so little about autism that it didn’t even cross their mind!! So while for some people hearing about autistic masking for the first time might be confusing, for me it really was a lightbulb moment 😊 for my partner (autistic + ADHD), it wasn’t that obvious, it took him a while to realise he was masking. I’m glad you mentioned DID because it’s a fascinating subject and I’ve recently taken an interest in it 😊

I love how you laughed at the realisation of all clothing is uncomfortable 😂 I love even more your curls, eyes, and eye makeup. They suit you so well 💚💚💚

@i.am.mindblind

3 күн бұрын

Thank you! Yes, I don't want to be naked but clothes suck too. Lol.

@briana9918

3 күн бұрын

This is why I wear as little as possible when at home alone. Yeah lovely look btw

Becoming aware of when I people please - that's the advice I need most. It really is second nature to me. Thank you.

@i.am.mindblind

2 күн бұрын

It's so easy a pattern for me to fall into.

Thanks for your inside, my cat says hi!

@i.am.mindblind

4 күн бұрын

Thanks for watching! 😁

Thanks Amanda 🤗 Before I learned about Autistic masking, I also wanted to be authentic like you said. I used to get quite perturbed by the fact that I would find myself agreeing with and agreeing to things I didn’t really agree with and I never knew what was going on with that. In my last job it became clearer to me and I used to describe myself as acting the whole time I was at work and only being properly myself at home by myself.

@i.am.mindblind

2 күн бұрын

I think it's interesting that people have different awareness level of their mask before diagnosis, and it really baffles me how I had almost zero awareness I was masking.

Thanks so much, Amanda Am having a rough time--several weeks now. Feel a little less alone.

@i.am.mindblind

3 күн бұрын

I'm sorry to hear that Marti. I hope things turn around for you. 💜

@martiwilliams4592

3 күн бұрын

@@i.am.mindblind Thanks so much, Amanda

Listening to this episode I suddenly realized I FIRST unmasked years before I even had an idea beeing autistic... And then I got mostly bad feedback. Hmmm. And yes, as a kid and young mother I was mostly the perfect tidy housewife, of cause helping on every event at church or sons school, "the mum that bakes"😂. Although I was the lefty single mum.

7:09 this was so relatable it made me cry. really thank you for making this video ❤

@psiloci

3 күн бұрын

and EVERYTHING else is so relatable too :)

@i.am.mindblind

3 күн бұрын

I see you. ❤️

Great question !!!!

Thank you for this video. It helps a lot.

@i.am.mindblind

2 күн бұрын

😊

We get called “control freaks” 😩…..

@i.am.mindblind

4 күн бұрын

Yep.

It's very difficult for me to know when I'm people pleasing. 😞😞.

@i.am.mindblind

3 күн бұрын

I understand, we are so conditioned to not hear our own internal sense of self we don't recognize it anymore. It takes time.

I felt l had to behave in a perfect way since I was a child. As an adult many people would say I was perfect but I definitely didn’t feel perfect and when I did get things wrong I would say see l got this wrong 🙈

Exactly. Well said. Who am I ??? 💞🙏🏻🙏🏻💞👊

@i.am.mindblind

4 күн бұрын

Trying to figure it out! 😂

I don't know, maybe in the future, when life allows you to, you should think about going back to school for Psychology. You're an advocate for neurodivergent minds and seems you're researching it well. If the thought of going back to school for Psychology has crossed your mind, this maybe a confirmation for you to do it.

@i.am.mindblind

3 күн бұрын

I have thought about it! On good days I think I could handle going back to school, but the hard days I can't even imagine. I don't know how I managed college the first time around. I wish I had done a psych major instead of architecture though!

@williamroberts6728

3 күн бұрын

@@i.am.mindblind I struggle with self doubt too. However, you should seriously think about it. I think you'd make an excellent counselor for the neurodivertgent. Who knows, there's probably a shortage of those who have the passion, like yourself, for the neurodivergent.

8:10 I wouldn't talk about perfection but neurologically typical (if NT think that's perfection it's to them but we shouldn't use their discriminatory vocabulary against us). It's not a criticism but a comment to show how deep we have been conditioned against ourselves.

@i.am.mindblind

3 күн бұрын

I'm more talking about black and white thinking plus a Pinterest level of living. For instance when I decided to make homemade baby food, b&w thinking happened. It never occurred to me I could sometimes feed my babies jarred food if I needed to. It was all or nothing, and so I caused a lot of stress in some situations making baby food for travel and such. My brain only allowed for "perfection" or "100%" of something, which of course left me so exhausted because humans can't function like that.

I just saw Winston,

@i.am.mindblind

4 күн бұрын

I didn't even notice Watson was ever in frame! Lol.

Hmmm. I am okay with imperfection. You can learn from your mistakes. I do tend to keep certain things within myself, but for me, AS an empath, I would feel THEIR hurt feelings, and feel my guilt for saying something that hurt someone else. ...I wouldn't say that I am a people pleaser. I learned years ago that people's approval is fickle. So, why "appear" to be different than how you really are to attempt to gain it? I, personally, see sexual orientation as something that just is. I am heterosexual. I am attracted to men. If my orientation led me to cheat on my husband, THAT is when I would be crossing the line into bad behavior. You can't choose whether or not attraction exists. But, you absolutely can choose your behavior! Way back when, maybe a month after we started dating, I promised my husband that if I should ever be attracted to anyone else, I would tell him about it so that we could work on the situation together. Get closer to each other. 12 years into our marriage, I think that we are closer than ever! In some ways, I think that our lives have taught us similar things, Amanda. My husband is the most morally courageous person I have ever known! He does right just because it IS right! He is intelligent, and he is a non-conformist. I am becoming more like him. I am starting to learn that it is okay to question authority, and go with what YOU think is the best course of action... I enjoyed your video! Thanks! Take care. Susan

It's sad you lost followers because of speaking about religion or sexuality.

@i.am.mindblind

3 күн бұрын

I was really startled because I figured most of my followers were LGBTQ friendly. I know a lot are religious and I did my best to respect that in the religion video while also stating my beliefs.

@darbydelane4588

3 күн бұрын

@@i.am.mindblind I think that will change over time if you keep Youtubing.

Next time you want to show off beautiful but annoying jewelry, maybe show it off, very obviously, at the beginning of the video, and then, on camera, get more comfortable by removing it.

@i.am.mindblind

4 күн бұрын

Definitely a good idea! Some days those earings don't bother me but sometimes they do. I'm always frustrated that necklaces and rings irritate me so much. Usually I can handle earings if they are light weight.