How To Attend A Regency Era Dinner Party
If the Regency Era is known for anything, it is usually the decadent lifestyle that members of the gentry got to experience. During this time, class divides were intense; and even among the wealthy there was still a strict social hierarchy that depended on your family and title. The London season in particular, gave rich families the opportunity to show off their vast amounts of wealth. And what better way to distinguish yourself from the poor than to create intricate rituals surrounding manners that everyone had to follow? Perhaps no event showed this off more than the dinner party.
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Most of these rules are very relevant today also it’s just plain and simple good manners or common sense.
@Historidame
2 ай бұрын
So true! Honestly, I think we should put more emphasis on table manners today.
@KITN._.8
Ай бұрын
Really lmao? Some of them are, like greeting the host and hostess and being mindful of how much you take but ultimately most these are ridiculous 😂
@darkeyedfran
Ай бұрын
I also keep a pineapple on my table to show off my status
@fox39forever
Ай бұрын
Quite! I don't understand the amazement of the narrator AT ALL!!! This is still normal dinner-party manners.
@karenmbbaxter
Күн бұрын
One piece of good manners that wasn't discussed 200 years ago was about mobile phone because they never existed then. I used to hear many stories of people on call at work and they were invited to a party with friends and if you have to answer a call you need to excuse yourself from the table and answer it......I have heard of many people yelling at the top of their voice to the person on the other end of the phone that everyone else's conversation at the table has to end.......I also think it is UNBELEIVABLY rude when someone is at a shop cashier and talking on their phone and just throw money at them.......UNLESS YOU ARE THE PRESIDENT OR PRIME MINISTER YOU ARE NOT THAT IMPORTANT THAT YOU CAN'T TELL THE PERSON AT THE OTHER END TO WAIT A SECOND WHILE YOU ARE BEING SERVED !
My father was born in Denmark in 1923. I was born in America and my father and mother taught us old World etiquette. I taught my son and daughter the best I could. Not many people nowadays would know anything like this simply because it is not taught now.
@Sabbathissaturday
Ай бұрын
I’m a 6th generation native Texan and I was taught to curtsy and everything about table etiquette and manors! I’m only 54! Our grandmothers taught all of us.
@denisestinnett4414
Ай бұрын
Omg! My parents were also from Denmark and taught us kids strict old world manners and etiquette 😆
@grop66
Ай бұрын
Hello here from Denmark 🇩🇰 I’m teaching my grandson how to be a gentleman 🥰 I agree with you
@kathleenmccrory9883
Ай бұрын
My grandmother made me go to charm school. It was all etiquette and such.
@a.b.creator
Ай бұрын
My great grandmother made sure to teach me old world etiquette as well. If one were to dress me up, I could pass with flying colors and no one would ever know that my father's sister and youngest brother spent the entire family fortune. 🤷🏼♀️
You missed one thing with soup spoons. One should scoop the soup away from oneself ,rather than pull it as if bailing it into one’s mouth.
@lenkamaresova4116
Ай бұрын
Also, if you scoop it away from yourself, only the table is affected if an incident happens, not your clothes.
@Player_404
Ай бұрын
“Like ships out to sea, I spoon away from me”
@elizabethaloku4268
Ай бұрын
Yeah that actually makes sense 😅😊@@lenkamaresova4116
@elizabethaloku4268
Ай бұрын
@@Player_404😂😂
@arthursandomine5464
Ай бұрын
Yeah she forgot that.. And about a thousand other rules. I think it was more of a overview than an extensive guide buddy
As an introvert I am most displeased that I can't spontaneously develop a horribly anti-social disease the day before a dinner party. So I guess I'll develop it the week before :=). Fun video, very informative :=)
My dad was a career climber in the army. I was taught most of these rules of etiquette from an early age. Nice to know where they got started.
@karladenton5034
2 ай бұрын
Everybody stills needs these manners in the military. Even junior enlisted Marines are expected to attend the Marine Corps Ball every year. My son had people in his squad that had never in their life attended a sit down dinner with courses that needed designated silverware and actual cloth table linens. He ended up running 'classes' for his juniors with all the bells and whistles so they would know what to do. Senior officers notice. He had better manners as a Corporal than some of the junior officers LOL. He learned them from family dinners - we didn't do the full roll out every Sunday, but holidays, birthdays and special celebrations (promotions, big project, graduation, etc) always saw the good china, silver and linens come out. As a retired single person, I occasionally do the full set up and cook myself something a bit extra just for the joy of it.
So many of these things are still considered nice manners!
Imagine going to a fancy dinner party, looking the hostess right in eye as you take a large bite of her prized raw pineapple
@AndreA-dl5po
12 күн бұрын
Considering it wouldn't have been cut into sections this would have been somewhat physically challenging. Imagine if you made the attempt but were not in fact able to actually fully bite through it?😂
When I got married in the 1980s, the bride could be assured of receiving either Miss Manners (of Washington Post fame) or Emily Post’s books of etiquette as a shower gift. Absolutely no bride could survive without at least one of these. Dinner parties started one month after marriage. Yes, it was like that. I wasn’t raised in the upper classes nor was my husband but these rules applied to everyone but those in abject poverty.
@christinegraham2579
Ай бұрын
When I graduated from high school, my older brother (11 years older) gave me a copy of Tiffany’s Table Manners for Teenagers.
I am reminded of Babette’s Feast and how the pious and superstitious villages made such a brouhaha over an elegant dinner party.
@belowzero2452
Ай бұрын
Babette’s Feast was among the best films ever !
@bcd4562
Ай бұрын
❤ such a wonderful movie
@DeborahThird-og1uo
15 күн бұрын
My favourite food movie!!
This was exactly how I was brought up to dine at formal occasions (including every Sunday dinner) in my family in the 1950s in New England / New York America.
This was very interesting! I see some of the table and dining etiquettes back then are still being taught to us today. I for one had to learn some of these as a teen for when going out to dine in a finer restaurant. THANKS for sharing with us, Historidame
I would not have survived 😭
Your videos are my latest obsession 😭
So many of these rules are still true today if you care to follow proper etiquette at a formal dinner party like a wedding or your bosses home
I have the sudden feeling this will be the first of a binge of your videos 😍
I died at the first course because they served almonds and they still don't know why I died because regency era allergies did not exist back then
@Historidame
Ай бұрын
Lmao
I can't believe you only have 10k subs, your videos are so professional!
@Historidame
2 ай бұрын
Thank you! I do my best 😅
Wine and flowers etc are quite common dinner party gifts these day, but when did it become de rigueur to bring the host/hostess a gift?
Wow, there are similarities with the dinning rules in Japan where I live, for gatherings of people (not so much for close friends or family). For example, the most common rule that most people know is saying itadakimasu before eating and gochisosama deshita after. We don’t eat until everyone at the table receives their food. we shouldn’t pass food from chopstick to chopstick, we should put it on their side plate instead. We shouldn’t stick the chopstick in rice upright. We can’t take a sip of our alcohol until everyone has their drinks so we can say cheers together and then drink. If there’s one piece of food left on the plate (most restaurants are sharing plates) we wait and wait because we don’t want to take the last piece and to seem selfless. Similarly, we need to eat at a normal pace to not seem gluttonous or too slow that it looks like we don’t like it. Japan has a hierarchical system , like in work or school or university. When we say cheers and bring our glasses together, the higher person (like a teacher) should be the highest and the students should clink their glasses below the rim, like halfway down, to give respect. If we order our own dishes we need to offer others if they would like to try it. We need to pour drinks, like water or alcohol for others glasses first. In the past it was usually women who did this but men do it too now. If someone talks to us while we’re chewing, as girls we need to cover our mouth with our hand if there’s food in there. Slurping noodles is normal however, it doesn’t actually mean respect to the chef, it actually just means you’re enjoying it. There’s proper ways to hold chopsticks (from the upper part) and even knives and forks (using a spoon and fork when eating spaghetti looks the best). After eating we should stack some dishes to make it easier for the restaurant staff to clean up. When we leave the restaurant we always say thank you to the waiter or chef, whoever is there Probably there’s more etiquette but that’s all I can think of. It seems really strict but it’s easy to get used to however not doing it is rude sometimes. Also this video reminded me of the dinner scene from Shrek 2.
@mariangrimsdell1112
13 күн бұрын
Very interesting, High society in all cultures have similar social norms, I think the modern world has to a large extent put pressure on all societies to choose fast food options. There is still a place for good manners, beautifully presented food and a gracious hostess, we just have no time to indulge this style of dining every day.
... and * never * spoon soup towards you, always slip the spoon through the soup away from you (still true today).
This is such a good video! I love learning about these types and I just need to watch more of you videos ❤🎉
@Historidame
2 ай бұрын
Thank you!
I was brought up with almost exactly the same dinner-table rules. Not the dinners themselves, just the rules!
The French Revolution did change the way people dress as the haves were afraid of losing their head and tried to look neutral and subsequently high culture is a past.
The knife protects the spoon from the fork. Once I heard this I was always able to remember where the cutlery goes.
My grandparents used a lot of these for our holiday formal meals.
I would have a long list of excuses ready at hand to use as soon as i received an invitation
@charleshamilton9274
Ай бұрын
How bizarre. The dinner party is not jury duty. No excuse is needed or expected. Just be sure to RSVP by the date on the invite.
I just found your channel and have been binge watching all of your videos.😊
EXCELLENT!!! Thank you…
Conspicuous consumption takes on a whole new meaning! Unfortunately, most members of the gentry, aristocracy and royalty rarely if ever thought about giving all of the leftovers of these lavish banquets to the poor in their parish or community.
@michaelplunkett8059
13 күн бұрын
The servants ate them.
@hollybrooke322
12 күн бұрын
It either went to the servants or the poor.
С удоволствие ще ви следвам. Как да се държиш на масата идва от детските години, когато възприемаш това, което правят близките ти. Майка ми казваше, че трябва да се яде спокойно с естествени маниери. За късмет зная повечето правила, които показахте. Вече ваш абонат от България.
Great channel. The information is clear and concise. 😊
@Historidame
Ай бұрын
Thank you!
Quite a change from Medieval manners. I also heard that when sitting at the table, your back should not touch the chairback.
@Historidame
Ай бұрын
Oh that's interesting!
@DeborahThird-og1uo
15 күн бұрын
Tis true. Slouching indicated boredom. Tsk tsk.
@michaelplunkett8059
13 күн бұрын
@@DeborahThird-og1uoAnd Victorians inferred a slack moral nature.
Amazing quality, especially for such a small channel!!! Bravo!
@Historidame
Ай бұрын
Thank you so much!
@backintimealwyn5736
Ай бұрын
no, she got "service à la française" "service à la russe" wrong it's teh reverse, everybody knows this. She could have checked, bad.
A very interesting presentation, and your choice of music was superb! Thank you.
@Historidame
Ай бұрын
I'm glad you liked it! :)
It sounds like hell on earth. I’ll just stay home with tea and crumpets
Nice video! I feel that the part where you thank the hostess and host an extra time a couple of days later is something we could brush up on today.
@Historidame
Ай бұрын
Thank you!
Thank you ❤.
nice!
Great content and even better narration. Very well done. Allow me subscribe. 😀
@Historidame
2 ай бұрын
I'm glad you enjoyed it :)
This is still the case now, so I don't quite get the tone of amazement, of the narrator.
@isabelleskiss
Ай бұрын
I think most of the commenters are American. Only people who come from a culture that views the eating etiquette of a three-year-old toddler as the social norm for all adults could be dismayed and puzzled by the Regency etiquette shown here. In most cultures, these manners have been taken for granted for thousands of years.
@juliajs1752
5 күн бұрын
@@isabelleskiss "thousands of years". I doubt that. Maybe since the early 1700s, which is still a good long time, but I do doubt that our Germanic ancestors worried too much about which fork to use for their salads, and not to talk to someone sitting opposite them in a large gathering...
What was the etiquette to respond to an invitation? What was the appropriate amount of time and/or manner to accept and/or refuse?
💚 Fun Facts we never knew😊. Thanks.5/17/24~
I went too charm school and was taught etiquette
I just pity the house staff that had to get up at 4 o'nothing to start preparing the rooms, and the cook who's been working away for the whole week making cakes and puddings and preparing the dishes. And after it's over, the staff had to clean everything away before creeping up to the attic to sleep until 4 o'nothing again.
I wouldn't survive, best to not go for me. I've been to meals with as many as 12, but nothing formal like that. Not rowdy, but still not that fussy. I'd escape the powder room, oh wait, they didn't have one, oh dear.
This is basically any middle eastern dinner party
This dinner party sounds exhausting 😂
I was born for that era! However, would have preferred the Edwardian era to the regency era.
@Historidame
17 күн бұрын
Same! I love the idea of the regency but I think living in the Edwardian era would suit me best :)
Did they not write a thankyou letter after three days?
What happens if you are just stuffed to the brim and need to use the restroom?? How do you leave without looking like a heathen ?
@Historidame
Ай бұрын
One etiquette manual said that you should only leave in the case of an emergency.
Seems very similar to today's expectations and rules.
7:53 30-Minute Healthy Green Pea Soup
@Historidame
Ай бұрын
I actually ended up finding a recipe for green pea soup because of this video and let me just say it was damn tasty!
There's no way I could sit through all of that. I'd go nuts.
Uhm..how do we politely ask the people's names, then?
@Historidame
2 ай бұрын
If it was a smaller gathering, it is likely that guests would already be acquainted with each other. If not, a mutual friend or acquaintance (such as your host) could give you a formal introduction.
@belowzero2452
Ай бұрын
Place cards at the table .
you inverted "service à la française" and "service à la russe". "à la française" : ordered, small quantities of many things, "à la russe" everything on the table. please correct , it's a terrible faux pas.;)
Someone needs to make a TikTok “would you survive” game based on this
Whew that was stressful 😅
Was it OK to not try all the dishes? I don't want to be beheaded.
@Historidame
Ай бұрын
Yes, it probably would have been impossible to eat everything.
Please look at your images carefully - the majority used here are Victorian or later
@Historidame
Ай бұрын
Hey, thanks for commenting! I am aware that many images used take place after the regency. When you make a video in the format that I do, you need a lot of images, and I simply couldn't find enough in high resolution that fit regency dining specifically. Unfortunately, some some leeway had to be given.
If they had tv and internet back then there is NO way they’d have these rules! 😂😂😂. Why visit someone after their dinner party to say thanks again. Just text. 😂😂
@mtngrl5859
22 күн бұрын
It's far more elegant to send a handwritten card to thank them for the evening. Yes, one can text but that take such little effort, so one will be more remembered if they send a personal note.
Thank God the US declared independence from all that.
Beef cures every disease
Not a single rule about the food having to be good? If they would have had good food, they would've rather focused on enjoying the evening around the food in good and relaxed manner instead of making the people stick to rules.
@pinkimietz3243
12 күн бұрын
Do you eat like a swine? It wouldn't matter to me how good my food is if I would be seated next to one.
and there is plenty of Black noble and gentry even royalty like Queen Charlotte, they were greatly respected Lady of the ton like Dido Belle, a black heiress and socialite, she could've been a duchess but she married for love
@isabelleskiss
Ай бұрын
We all know that the colorblind casting of these series and films is well-intentioned, but also problematic. Especially in combination with the inadequate education provided by America's schools and similar education systems. In the fantasy world of Bridgerton, Queen Charlotte is a black woman; the real Queen Charlotte was a German princess, born Sophie Charlotte, Duchess of Mecklenburg and just as light-skinned as the Germans back then. Of course there were a lot of black nobles and kings, but not on the European continent, but in the various areas of Africa. Dido Belle was an exception back then, just as, as far as I know, there were no Asian kings in Africa at that time.
@DaisyChain3339.
22 күн бұрын
@isabelleskiss they have so little self esteem and accomplishments they need to force themselves into ours. It's a race of perpetual, jealous children.
This is ridiculous just eat your damn food
I think most of the commenters are American. Only people who come from a culture that views the eating etiquette of a three-year-old toddler as the social norm for all adults could be dismayed and puzzled by the Regency etiquette shown here. In most cultures, these manners have been taken for granted for thousands of years.