How To Attend A Regency Era Dinner Party

If the Regency Era is known for anything, it is usually the decadent lifestyle that members of the gentry got to experience. During this time, class divides were intense; and even among the wealthy there was still a strict social hierarchy that depended on your family and title. The London season in particular, gave rich families the opportunity to show off their vast amounts of wealth. And what better way to distinguish yourself from the poor than to create intricate rituals surrounding manners that everyone had to follow? Perhaps no event showed this off more than the dinner party.
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Пікірлер: 128

  • @purplebutterfly7257
    @purplebutterfly72572 ай бұрын

    Most of these rules are very relevant today also it’s just plain and simple good manners or common sense.

  • @Historidame

    @Historidame

    2 ай бұрын

    So true! Honestly, I think we should put more emphasis on table manners today.

  • @KITN._.8

    @KITN._.8

    Ай бұрын

    Really lmao? Some of them are, like greeting the host and hostess and being mindful of how much you take but ultimately most these are ridiculous 😂

  • @darkeyedfran

    @darkeyedfran

    Ай бұрын

    I also keep a pineapple on my table to show off my status

  • @fox39forever

    @fox39forever

    Ай бұрын

    Quite! I don't understand the amazement of the narrator AT ALL!!! This is still normal dinner-party manners.

  • @karenmbbaxter

    @karenmbbaxter

    Күн бұрын

    One piece of good manners that wasn't discussed 200 years ago was about mobile phone because they never existed then. I used to hear many stories of people on call at work and they were invited to a party with friends and if you have to answer a call you need to excuse yourself from the table and answer it......I have heard of many people yelling at the top of their voice to the person on the other end of the phone that everyone else's conversation at the table has to end.......I also think it is UNBELEIVABLY rude when someone is at a shop cashier and talking on their phone and just throw money at them.......UNLESS YOU ARE THE PRESIDENT OR PRIME MINISTER YOU ARE NOT THAT IMPORTANT THAT YOU CAN'T TELL THE PERSON AT THE OTHER END TO WAIT A SECOND WHILE YOU ARE BEING SERVED !

  • @patricialong5767
    @patricialong57672 ай бұрын

    My father was born in Denmark in 1923. I was born in America and my father and mother taught us old World etiquette. I taught my son and daughter the best I could. Not many people nowadays would know anything like this simply because it is not taught now.

  • @Sabbathissaturday

    @Sabbathissaturday

    Ай бұрын

    I’m a 6th generation native Texan and I was taught to curtsy and everything about table etiquette and manors! I’m only 54! Our grandmothers taught all of us.

  • @denisestinnett4414

    @denisestinnett4414

    Ай бұрын

    Omg! My parents were also from Denmark and taught us kids strict old world manners and etiquette 😆

  • @grop66

    @grop66

    Ай бұрын

    Hello here from Denmark 🇩🇰 I’m teaching my grandson how to be a gentleman 🥰 I agree with you

  • @kathleenmccrory9883

    @kathleenmccrory9883

    Ай бұрын

    My grandmother made me go to charm school. It was all etiquette and such.

  • @a.b.creator

    @a.b.creator

    Ай бұрын

    My great grandmother made sure to teach me old world etiquette as well. If one were to dress me up, I could pass with flying colors and no one would ever know that my father's sister and youngest brother spent the entire family fortune. 🤷🏼‍♀️

  • @Pocketfarmer1
    @Pocketfarmer12 ай бұрын

    You missed one thing with soup spoons. One should scoop the soup away from oneself ,rather than pull it as if bailing it into one’s mouth.

  • @lenkamaresova4116

    @lenkamaresova4116

    Ай бұрын

    Also, if you scoop it away from yourself, only the table is affected if an incident happens, not your clothes.

  • @Player_404

    @Player_404

    Ай бұрын

    “Like ships out to sea, I spoon away from me”

  • @elizabethaloku4268

    @elizabethaloku4268

    Ай бұрын

    Yeah that actually makes sense 😅😊​@@lenkamaresova4116

  • @elizabethaloku4268

    @elizabethaloku4268

    Ай бұрын

    ​@@Player_404😂😂

  • @arthursandomine5464

    @arthursandomine5464

    Ай бұрын

    Yeah she forgot that.. And about a thousand other rules. I think it was more of a overview than an extensive guide buddy

  • @jaymartin8273
    @jaymartin82732 ай бұрын

    As an introvert I am most displeased that I can't spontaneously develop a horribly anti-social disease the day before a dinner party. So I guess I'll develop it the week before :=). Fun video, very informative :=)

  • @karynhicks5305
    @karynhicks53052 ай бұрын

    My dad was a career climber in the army. I was taught most of these rules of etiquette from an early age. Nice to know where they got started.

  • @karladenton5034

    @karladenton5034

    2 ай бұрын

    Everybody stills needs these manners in the military. Even junior enlisted Marines are expected to attend the Marine Corps Ball every year. My son had people in his squad that had never in their life attended a sit down dinner with courses that needed designated silverware and actual cloth table linens. He ended up running 'classes' for his juniors with all the bells and whistles so they would know what to do. Senior officers notice. He had better manners as a Corporal than some of the junior officers LOL. He learned them from family dinners - we didn't do the full roll out every Sunday, but holidays, birthdays and special celebrations (promotions, big project, graduation, etc) always saw the good china, silver and linens come out. As a retired single person, I occasionally do the full set up and cook myself something a bit extra just for the joy of it.

  • @bellstar8473
    @bellstar84732 ай бұрын

    So many of these things are still considered nice manners!

  • @karenfromfinasse8430
    @karenfromfinasse84302 ай бұрын

    Imagine going to a fancy dinner party, looking the hostess right in eye as you take a large bite of her prized raw pineapple

  • @AndreA-dl5po

    @AndreA-dl5po

    12 күн бұрын

    Considering it wouldn't have been cut into sections this would have been somewhat physically challenging. Imagine if you made the attempt but were not in fact able to actually fully bite through it?😂

  • @rosezingleman5007
    @rosezingleman5007Ай бұрын

    When I got married in the 1980s, the bride could be assured of receiving either Miss Manners (of Washington Post fame) or Emily Post’s books of etiquette as a shower gift. Absolutely no bride could survive without at least one of these. Dinner parties started one month after marriage. Yes, it was like that. I wasn’t raised in the upper classes nor was my husband but these rules applied to everyone but those in abject poverty.

  • @christinegraham2579

    @christinegraham2579

    Ай бұрын

    When I graduated from high school, my older brother (11 years older) gave me a copy of Tiffany’s Table Manners for Teenagers.

  • @Ronald-ks2iy
    @Ronald-ks2iy2 ай бұрын

    I am reminded of Babette’s Feast and how the pious and superstitious villages made such a brouhaha over an elegant dinner party.

  • @belowzero2452

    @belowzero2452

    Ай бұрын

    Babette’s Feast was among the best films ever !

  • @bcd4562

    @bcd4562

    Ай бұрын

    ❤ such a wonderful movie

  • @DeborahThird-og1uo

    @DeborahThird-og1uo

    15 күн бұрын

    My favourite food movie!!

  • @richardengelhardt582
    @richardengelhardt5822 ай бұрын

    This was exactly how I was brought up to dine at formal occasions (including every Sunday dinner) in my family in the 1950s in New England / New York America.

  • @lindawright7092
    @lindawright70922 ай бұрын

    This was very interesting! I see some of the table and dining etiquettes back then are still being taught to us today. I for one had to learn some of these as a teen for when going out to dine in a finer restaurant. THANKS for sharing with us, Historidame

  • @kartos.
    @kartos.2 ай бұрын

    I would not have survived 😭

  • @scoopy3810
    @scoopy38102 ай бұрын

    Your videos are my latest obsession 😭

  • @Ilovevintage77
    @Ilovevintage772 ай бұрын

    So many of these rules are still true today if you care to follow proper etiquette at a formal dinner party like a wedding or your bosses home

  • @clutchingpearls22
    @clutchingpearls222 ай бұрын

    I have the sudden feeling this will be the first of a binge of your videos 😍

  • @cleep14
    @cleep14Ай бұрын

    I died at the first course because they served almonds and they still don't know why I died because regency era allergies did not exist back then

  • @Historidame

    @Historidame

    Ай бұрын

    Lmao

  • @Kaz7.
    @Kaz7.2 ай бұрын

    I can't believe you only have 10k subs, your videos are so professional!

  • @Historidame

    @Historidame

    2 ай бұрын

    Thank you! I do my best 😅

  • @TheSecretChateau
    @TheSecretChateauАй бұрын

    Wine and flowers etc are quite common dinner party gifts these day, but when did it become de rigueur to bring the host/hostess a gift?

  • @catmerchant8699
    @catmerchant8699Ай бұрын

    Wow, there are similarities with the dinning rules in Japan where I live, for gatherings of people (not so much for close friends or family). For example, the most common rule that most people know is saying itadakimasu before eating and gochisosama deshita after. We don’t eat until everyone at the table receives their food. we shouldn’t pass food from chopstick to chopstick, we should put it on their side plate instead. We shouldn’t stick the chopstick in rice upright. We can’t take a sip of our alcohol until everyone has their drinks so we can say cheers together and then drink. If there’s one piece of food left on the plate (most restaurants are sharing plates) we wait and wait because we don’t want to take the last piece and to seem selfless. Similarly, we need to eat at a normal pace to not seem gluttonous or too slow that it looks like we don’t like it. Japan has a hierarchical system , like in work or school or university. When we say cheers and bring our glasses together, the higher person (like a teacher) should be the highest and the students should clink their glasses below the rim, like halfway down, to give respect. If we order our own dishes we need to offer others if they would like to try it. We need to pour drinks, like water or alcohol for others glasses first. In the past it was usually women who did this but men do it too now. If someone talks to us while we’re chewing, as girls we need to cover our mouth with our hand if there’s food in there. Slurping noodles is normal however, it doesn’t actually mean respect to the chef, it actually just means you’re enjoying it. There’s proper ways to hold chopsticks (from the upper part) and even knives and forks (using a spoon and fork when eating spaghetti looks the best). After eating we should stack some dishes to make it easier for the restaurant staff to clean up. When we leave the restaurant we always say thank you to the waiter or chef, whoever is there Probably there’s more etiquette but that’s all I can think of. It seems really strict but it’s easy to get used to however not doing it is rude sometimes. Also this video reminded me of the dinner scene from Shrek 2.

  • @mariangrimsdell1112

    @mariangrimsdell1112

    13 күн бұрын

    Very interesting, High society in all cultures have similar social norms, I think the modern world has to a large extent put pressure on all societies to choose fast food options. There is still a place for good manners, beautifully presented food and a gracious hostess, we just have no time to indulge this style of dining every day.

  • @midnightchannel7759
    @midnightchannel7759Ай бұрын

    ... and * never * spoon soup towards you, always slip the spoon through the soup away from you (still true today).

  • @SineadTaylor30
    @SineadTaylor302 ай бұрын

    This is such a good video! I love learning about these types and I just need to watch more of you videos ❤🎉

  • @Historidame

    @Historidame

    2 ай бұрын

    Thank you!

  • @pippaseaspirit4415
    @pippaseaspirit4415Ай бұрын

    I was brought up with almost exactly the same dinner-table rules. Not the dinners themselves, just the rules!

  • @kyleanuar9090
    @kyleanuar90902 ай бұрын

    The French Revolution did change the way people dress as the haves were afraid of losing their head and tried to look neutral and subsequently high culture is a past.

  • @melissavaughndance5501
    @melissavaughndance550129 күн бұрын

    The knife protects the spoon from the fork. Once I heard this I was always able to remember where the cutlery goes.

  • @angelaharris53
    @angelaharris532 күн бұрын

    My grandparents used a lot of these for our holiday formal meals.

  • @cvbgdvg
    @cvbgdvgАй бұрын

    I would have a long list of excuses ready at hand to use as soon as i received an invitation

  • @charleshamilton9274

    @charleshamilton9274

    Ай бұрын

    How bizarre. The dinner party is not jury duty. No excuse is needed or expected. Just be sure to RSVP by the date on the invite.

  • @angelinaduganNy
    @angelinaduganNyАй бұрын

    I just found your channel and have been binge watching all of your videos.😊

  • @JimGee404
    @JimGee404Ай бұрын

    EXCELLENT!!! Thank you…

  • @monicacall7532
    @monicacall75322 ай бұрын

    Conspicuous consumption takes on a whole new meaning! Unfortunately, most members of the gentry, aristocracy and royalty rarely if ever thought about giving all of the leftovers of these lavish banquets to the poor in their parish or community.

  • @michaelplunkett8059

    @michaelplunkett8059

    13 күн бұрын

    The servants ate them.

  • @hollybrooke322

    @hollybrooke322

    12 күн бұрын

    It either went to the servants or the poor.

  • @user-qy4ov8dp5y
    @user-qy4ov8dp5yАй бұрын

    С удоволствие ще ви следвам. Как да се държиш на масата идва от детските години, когато възприемаш това, което правят близките ти. Майка ми казваше, че трябва да се яде спокойно с естествени маниери. За късмет зная повечето правила, които показахте. Вече ваш абонат от България.

  • @ycprachelw03
    @ycprachelw03Ай бұрын

    Great channel. The information is clear and concise. 😊

  • @Historidame

    @Historidame

    Ай бұрын

    Thank you!

  • @33Donner77
    @33Donner77Ай бұрын

    Quite a change from Medieval manners. I also heard that when sitting at the table, your back should not touch the chairback.

  • @Historidame

    @Historidame

    Ай бұрын

    Oh that's interesting!

  • @DeborahThird-og1uo

    @DeborahThird-og1uo

    15 күн бұрын

    Tis true. Slouching indicated boredom. Tsk tsk.

  • @michaelplunkett8059

    @michaelplunkett8059

    13 күн бұрын

    ​@@DeborahThird-og1uoAnd Victorians inferred a slack moral nature.

  • @qqqqqq8014
    @qqqqqq8014Ай бұрын

    Amazing quality, especially for such a small channel!!! Bravo!

  • @Historidame

    @Historidame

    Ай бұрын

    Thank you so much!

  • @backintimealwyn5736

    @backintimealwyn5736

    Ай бұрын

    no, she got "service à la française" "service à la russe" wrong it's teh reverse, everybody knows this. She could have checked, bad.

  • @sfalkow24
    @sfalkow24Ай бұрын

    A very interesting presentation, and your choice of music was superb! Thank you.

  • @Historidame

    @Historidame

    Ай бұрын

    I'm glad you liked it! :)

  • @shelleydaly1726
    @shelleydaly1726Ай бұрын

    It sounds like hell on earth. I’ll just stay home with tea and crumpets

  • @arthursandomine5464
    @arthursandomine5464Ай бұрын

    Nice video! I feel that the part where you thank the hostess and host an extra time a couple of days later is something we could brush up on today.

  • @Historidame

    @Historidame

    Ай бұрын

    Thank you!

  • @marianneb.9818
    @marianneb.9818Ай бұрын

    Thank you ❤.

  • @rosannashe6313
    @rosannashe6313Ай бұрын

    nice!

  • @blacksabbathmatters3365
    @blacksabbathmatters33652 ай бұрын

    Great content and even better narration. Very well done. Allow me subscribe. 😀

  • @Historidame

    @Historidame

    2 ай бұрын

    I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

  • @fox39forever
    @fox39foreverАй бұрын

    This is still the case now, so I don't quite get the tone of amazement, of the narrator.

  • @isabelleskiss

    @isabelleskiss

    Ай бұрын

    I think most of the commenters are American. Only people who come from a culture that views the eating etiquette of a three-year-old toddler as the social norm for all adults could be dismayed and puzzled by the Regency etiquette shown here. In most cultures, these manners have been taken for granted for thousands of years.

  • @juliajs1752

    @juliajs1752

    5 күн бұрын

    @@isabelleskiss "thousands of years". I doubt that. Maybe since the early 1700s, which is still a good long time, but I do doubt that our Germanic ancestors worried too much about which fork to use for their salads, and not to talk to someone sitting opposite them in a large gathering...

  • @williamsmith2771
    @williamsmith2771Ай бұрын

    What was the etiquette to respond to an invitation? What was the appropriate amount of time and/or manner to accept and/or refuse?

  • @disappointeddinosaur4440
    @disappointeddinosaur4440Ай бұрын

    💚 Fun Facts we never knew😊. Thanks.5/17/24~

  • @lohe592
    @lohe592Ай бұрын

    I went too charm school and was taught etiquette

  • @juliajs1752
    @juliajs17525 күн бұрын

    I just pity the house staff that had to get up at 4 o'nothing to start preparing the rooms, and the cook who's been working away for the whole week making cakes and puddings and preparing the dishes. And after it's over, the staff had to clean everything away before creeping up to the attic to sleep until 4 o'nothing again.

  • @sawahtb
    @sawahtb2 ай бұрын

    I wouldn't survive, best to not go for me. I've been to meals with as many as 12, but nothing formal like that. Not rowdy, but still not that fussy. I'd escape the powder room, oh wait, they didn't have one, oh dear.

  • @salmonsalmoni3168
    @salmonsalmoni31682 ай бұрын

    This is basically any middle eastern dinner party

  • @BSG0005
    @BSG00052 ай бұрын

    This dinner party sounds exhausting 😂

  • @daniellelord8384
    @daniellelord838418 күн бұрын

    I was born for that era! However, would have preferred the Edwardian era to the regency era.

  • @Historidame

    @Historidame

    17 күн бұрын

    Same! I love the idea of the regency but I think living in the Edwardian era would suit me best :)

  • @jackiemerino3910
    @jackiemerino3910Ай бұрын

    Did they not write a thankyou letter after three days?

  • @ROUGUEDRAGONCRAFT
    @ROUGUEDRAGONCRAFTАй бұрын

    What happens if you are just stuffed to the brim and need to use the restroom?? How do you leave without looking like a heathen ?

  • @Historidame

    @Historidame

    Ай бұрын

    One etiquette manual said that you should only leave in the case of an emergency.

  • @scott5966
    @scott596621 күн бұрын

    Seems very similar to today's expectations and rules.

  • @m.s.9744
    @m.s.9744Ай бұрын

    7:53 30-Minute Healthy Green Pea Soup

  • @Historidame

    @Historidame

    Ай бұрын

    I actually ended up finding a recipe for green pea soup because of this video and let me just say it was damn tasty!

  • @warp9p659
    @warp9p659Ай бұрын

    There's no way I could sit through all of that. I'd go nuts.

  • @KAYEscl0sed
    @KAYEscl0sed2 ай бұрын

    Uhm..how do we politely ask the people's names, then?

  • @Historidame

    @Historidame

    2 ай бұрын

    If it was a smaller gathering, it is likely that guests would already be acquainted with each other. If not, a mutual friend or acquaintance (such as your host) could give you a formal introduction.

  • @belowzero2452

    @belowzero2452

    Ай бұрын

    Place cards at the table .

  • @backintimealwyn5736
    @backintimealwyn5736Ай бұрын

    you inverted "service à la française" and "service à la russe". "à la française" : ordered, small quantities of many things, "à la russe" everything on the table. please correct , it's a terrible faux pas.;)

  • @michaeljacksheeheen
    @michaeljacksheeheenАй бұрын

    Someone needs to make a TikTok “would you survive” game based on this

  • @monetscott2406
    @monetscott2406Ай бұрын

    Whew that was stressful 😅

  • @keltaruusutravels4024
    @keltaruusutravels4024Ай бұрын

    Was it OK to not try all the dishes? I don't want to be beheaded.

  • @Historidame

    @Historidame

    Ай бұрын

    Yes, it probably would have been impossible to eat everything.

  • @jaydee5022
    @jaydee5022Ай бұрын

    Please look at your images carefully - the majority used here are Victorian or later

  • @Historidame

    @Historidame

    Ай бұрын

    Hey, thanks for commenting! I am aware that many images used take place after the regency. When you make a video in the format that I do, you need a lot of images, and I simply couldn't find enough in high resolution that fit regency dining specifically. Unfortunately, some some leeway had to be given.

  • @andreamarin4296
    @andreamarin4296Ай бұрын

    If they had tv and internet back then there is NO way they’d have these rules! 😂😂😂. Why visit someone after their dinner party to say thanks again. Just text. 😂😂

  • @mtngrl5859

    @mtngrl5859

    22 күн бұрын

    It's far more elegant to send a handwritten card to thank them for the evening. Yes, one can text but that take such little effort, so one will be more remembered if they send a personal note.

  • @Nonamearisto
    @NonamearistoАй бұрын

    Thank God the US declared independence from all that.

  • @JackAtkins-xz5wi
    @JackAtkins-xz5wiАй бұрын

    Beef cures every disease

  • @rahulm2827
    @rahulm2827Ай бұрын

    Not a single rule about the food having to be good? If they would have had good food, they would've rather focused on enjoying the evening around the food in good and relaxed manner instead of making the people stick to rules.

  • @pinkimietz3243

    @pinkimietz3243

    12 күн бұрын

    Do you eat like a swine? It wouldn't matter to me how good my food is if I would be seated next to one.

  • @Satu-zs7gm
    @Satu-zs7gmАй бұрын

    and there is plenty of Black noble and gentry even royalty like Queen Charlotte, they were greatly respected Lady of the ton like Dido Belle, a black heiress and socialite, she could've been a duchess but she married for love

  • @isabelleskiss

    @isabelleskiss

    Ай бұрын

    We all know that the colorblind casting of these series and films is well-intentioned, but also problematic. Especially in combination with the inadequate education provided by America's schools and similar education systems. In the fantasy world of Bridgerton, Queen Charlotte is a black woman; the real Queen Charlotte was a German princess, born Sophie Charlotte, Duchess of Mecklenburg and just as light-skinned as the Germans back then. Of course there were a lot of black nobles and kings, but not on the European continent, but in the various areas of Africa. Dido Belle was an exception back then, just as, as far as I know, there were no Asian kings in Africa at that time.

  • @DaisyChain3339.

    @DaisyChain3339.

    22 күн бұрын

    ​@isabelleskiss they have so little self esteem and accomplishments they need to force themselves into ours. It's a race of perpetual, jealous children.

  • @johncy11
    @johncy11Ай бұрын

    This is ridiculous just eat your damn food

  • @isabelleskiss
    @isabelleskissАй бұрын

    I think most of the commenters are American. Only people who come from a culture that views the eating etiquette of a three-year-old toddler as the social norm for all adults could be dismayed and puzzled by the Regency etiquette shown here. In most cultures, these manners have been taken for granted for thousands of years.