Thank you so much for making this video! Unless people are adopted, they have no idea that this is a primal wound. We were separated from blood relatives with no choice in the matter. What disgusts me more than anything is when people think that we should automatically be grateful because we were saved. No one has the right to tell anybody how to feel, especially if they are not a fellow adoptee.

@saphirekin2253

4 жыл бұрын

Aimee Szczesny Agreed.

this is sooo true. and I hate it when people say"those arent your real parents" people dont realiz how much that hurts

Wow, thought it was incredibly brave of you to talk as frankly as this. You talking about grief and identity was so interesting. Thanks for sharing.

@TheHereandNao

8 жыл бұрын

No worries, I think it's important to talk about the less well known sides of adoption as well as the known sides. Thank you :)

I’m an adoptive mom. This was very helpful but more importantly, beautifully eloquent.

I agree, in some ways it can be seen as disrespectful or ungrateful to talk about or feel grief and loss, but people need to understand that although many Adoptees are so grateful for what they have, we still grieve and feel these things like rejection etc. Good explaining👌🏼

@TheHereandNao

8 жыл бұрын

I couldn't agree more! Grief has nothing to do with our feelings about our lives now and we should be able to talk about that. :) No worries glad you could relate !

Lots of truth here. I don't know why so many people naively believe that adoption is a perfect solution. Lol, it's never a perfect solution. Adoption is simply making the best we can out of a bad situation. The normal natural thing is for a person to be raised by the mother who carried and bore them, and by the father who made their mother pregnant with them. But sometimes, for one reason or another, that isn't possible. And so adoption is what we do then, to make the best out of that situation. But it's never going to be a perfect, seamless replacement. Undoubtedly adoption is better than the alternative, of leaving kids to languish in an orphanage forever like some kind of Oliver Twist. But it's never the same thing. At least with a transracial adoption you'll always know you're adopted, it will be impossible to hide, since you don't look like your parents. I've heard some horror stories of same-race adoptions where the adoptive parents never told the kid they were adopted, sometimes until they were well into adulthood, and the shock when they found out was devastating, as they realized their whole life had been a lie.

@iiximena393

5 жыл бұрын

Im adopted but adopted from my spanish grandparents so i had to learn spanish from my grandparents but my mom did left at a bar w/ my brother but i call her and she lives in Vegas And i have a step brother and im thinking why she picked him instead of us? But its ok i never knee my dad becuase he was in mexico witch is weird because i never know spanish till my grandpa learn me spanish so im basicly White btw mt mom left me when i was 7moths old but still i live with my grandparents and i love them so mo to worse for me

I'm adopted. I felt a lot of those!

I'm glad you know there is the occult people are so scared they refuse to believe

Considering the fact that I'm adopted too, I actually now kinda feel like myself now. This helped me overcome a little bit of my rejection. Well except the fact I really never knew my parents or saw them.

I keep coming back to this video wanting to comment but end up deleting it. Not sure why but here it goes.... You’ve nailed some very major points about being adopted. There is one thing I’d like to add which won’t apply for some but for me I feel it’s the root of most of my issues. For me as a Korean who grew up from 3 months old in a white town and white family it was difficult for me to see myself as an Asian. I used to close my eyes and see a white person. It’s difficult to get past all those other issues you pointed out when you can’t even figure out who you are. Feeling rejected from one culture and not a part of another is a very bad place to be. Now I’m in my 30s and Im more at peace with it but it’s more of a peace that I am not like many others and will always likely be the round peg to a square hole. It’s difficult in a society that makes you want to fit in but really there’s no reason to. Be yourself what ever that is and you’ll be happier. I am still trying to find myself but I feel like I’m closer all the time.

@TheHereandNao

3 жыл бұрын

Thanks so much for your comment, I'm really glad you didn't delete it this time xD It really resonated with me! I feel exactly the same. When I close my eyes, I feel an infinite parallel between the 'white self' that I was raised as and the Asian baby that I left behind when I left China. We have to learn to move in these complex spaces with difficult identities. I'm really glad to hear that you've found comfort and acceptance of your unique identity. I totally agree that it runs so much deeper than just an individual experience, it's the societal factors and the alienation of being the only one of your race in your entire world and the guilt and rejection we feel from this other world that we are 'supposed to know'. Take care and stay strong, it sounds as if you're already on a great journey :)

Thank you for sharing your life.

I moved to my childhood home and found my birth father and mother so weird and I remembered what they looked like from birth

As an adoptee from Russia to England I really relate to almost everything you said in this video!

Hey there, I'm not an adoptee but stories about adoption really do interest me, because of the complexity that's involved in it. I love watching your videos, thanks for sharing your story! I've seen many videos pertaining to how adoptees feel about their biological parents, but I seldom see any about how they feel towards their parents who've adopted them. If you'd like, maybe you can consider doing one about it? Just a suggestion yeah. Have a good day and looking forward to more videos of yours!!

@TheHereandNao

7 жыл бұрын

Hey Roxanne , thank you for your kind words! Hm that is an interesting point, I guess mostly because people might feel that it is the same or similar to how other people feel towards their parents? Bearing in mind though that it's difficult to say otherwise from how other people feel as I don't know any different and my parents are people that I know and see, whereas my birth parents are not, but I'll definitely have a think on that one :)

@roxannehon6715

7 жыл бұрын

Hey Naomi, ahh, I see where you're coming from, thank you for your sharing on this issue!! :)

I found out from my mother in 2020 when I was 29 being told that my dad that ive known isn't my natural dad but adopted me it was hard an i still go through it the emotions come out of know where an it can be hard its like a trunk where you dont know when its gonna open an then it does

You are good enough not to be rejected by anyone or anything.

I know im adopted but my family is toxic

Great job.

I always wonder what my family looks like and who I’d resemble the most with I don’t know what feeling that is but I always wonder and I do feel anger and sadness cos I do miss them without even ever knowing them

I've been looking for videos about people who have been adopted and their personal experiences. I'm thinking about adopting and I've heard so many different options about how to talk to or encourage your adopted child. If you felt guilty about your feelings about how your life would be if you were with your biological family did you ever feel comfortable enough to talk to your adopted family about your feelings? Was there open communication between you and your adopted family?

Nice and nuanced.

@TheHereandNao

8 жыл бұрын

Thank you :)

Idk if any other adoptees experience social anxiety/ anxiety in general...but...I’ve found that to be due to me being adopted. I know anxiety is common, but I’d like to see a study done on the correlation between adoptees and anxiety because I think a lot of feelings you described here can be closely associated with anxiety disorders or even depression. I think it stems from being on the constant lookout for signs of rejection and just being generally uncomfortable in my own skin :$

This is exactly what I feel

I myself am adopted but it was just really a sex triangle sad really but it made me strong when people widely expected me to be weak shameful really for people to expect me to wither up and die but instead I'm fine really am

My ring fingers don't like being straight when I do the "three" symbol either. You're not alone.

I want to be apoeded

Hello! I absolutely love watching watching your videos. I am adopted and recently moved in with my birth family at the age of 21. Me and my birth sister started our own KZread channel about our experiences and would love to share it with you! ❤️

I know im adopted but my family is toxic