This was shockingly relatable, thank you for sharing!

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you for watching!

It just makes my head spin, trying to imagine not only what it must be like being gender confused but then also sexually confused. I'm a 61yr old straight woman who has never had a question about either one. I give you so much credit finding who you are. I wish you all the love and compassion you deserve from this world. This slowly transitioning world, that has changed so very much from the cruel, hateful and judgmental place I remember it having once being. I hear your story and have even more hope for those who struggle thru these issues. The world has changed in ways I always wished it could. Progress not perfection, as you said.

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

What a lovely comment, thank you so much! It has been one heck of a journey, but its one I now value highly. At the end of the day, we all have our struggles, but we also have all the power to turn our struggles into our strengths!

I relate to so much of your story about how you viewed your relationship to men pre transition. I have some differences to my story of course. Until recently I thought I was bisexual. But I identified as gay or straight depending on whether I was with a man or woman. Just a couple of weeks ago I was doing a guided meditation for bringing about a partner. When I was done with the meditation I knew. I was totally gay. Its liberating and I finally feel content with my sexual orientation.

@FinnTheInfinncible

3 жыл бұрын

Ah yes it is wonderful when we get clarity isnt it! Its clear to me that I have the capability to fall in love with anyone of any gender, but men are who really interest me! I now love that I know this!

I could watch you speak for hours. I find your talks memorizing and inspirational. What a gift! 🦩❤🦩

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

That is such a wonderful complimant, thank you so much!

Hallo, my dear Finn! It’s just a spectacular journey how you have discovered the real you! Every step, every experience has been useful !!! And bring you to Chris, your FurFur, somprecious man in your live. And also, you are giving a teaching ...to keep on daring and experimenting, until you arrive. To be open and listen yourself, if something seems strange, it meNs that something Is not ok. Even if this society is a big problem with its prejudices, If you stop and close, nothing can change. So, here you are, our flamboyand Finn! Sweet and funny ( in a positive way)!! Much love to you!😘👍

I found this a very compelling story, well told. Congratulations figuring yourself out in a very complicated situation. I plan to watch some of the other vlogs related to your journey.

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

What a lovely comment, thank you so much! Welcome to the FinnFam!

😊 thank you for sharing. I always love your input. I can certainly relate to the confusion/journey aspect of attraction.

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you for that kind feedback. Very glad you enjoyed the vlog. And yes, it can be a very confusing journey!

My goodness, you've been on a journey! I'm so glad you were able to figure out who you were and get to a place of peace. I think knowing ourselves is one of the hardest things we can do - we all tell ourselves stories about how we perceive our identity, and it takes a lot of work (and often a lot of tears) to come through that. Much love xxx

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

It's been an incredible journey. I love working through difficult stuff now, once upon a time I'd have run away! Thanks for being so lovely 🥰

Thank you so much for answering my Q, wow! It's great that you can share your past so openly and honestly (and flamboyantly as you are ❤️), and that you embrace the experiences that shaped you. Giggling along with you!

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

Very glad you enjoyed it, was such a great topic!

Geez Flynn. You hit me right in the feels every damn time. Our stories are very very similar and I’ve been following you for about five years now. I transitioned at 43 and next year I turn 50! I still struggle with addiction and watching your videos makes me want to recommit to sobriety because I can see how much you’ve gained. I’m also struggling with my sexual identity. Your honesty is making a big difference in people’s lives. Thank you.

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much my friend for those incredibly kind words. Yes, my sobriety is the cornerstone of everything, whithout it, the who sturcture falls apart! Its also about valuing myself, treating myself well and kindly, and addiction is not kind. It isnt easy, but one day at a time, it is possible. I am always happy to chat and help if I can, you are alays free to contact me over on finlaygames.com

@Daniel-uq1rr

4 жыл бұрын

@@FinnTheInfinncible thanks so much for replying to my comment!!! And the offer of help is muchly appreciated. I'll definitely check it out and reach out if needed. Hugs! 🤗🤗

For me, it was the social elements. That is, I enjoyed sex with men--but was rarely attracted, especially emotionally, to straight men. As a young feminist, I worried that I was co-opting gay men's sexuality. I ended up in a long-term relationship with a gay man. (Sex was always awkward, but he often said I reminded him of his first boyfriend. Also--his high school girlfriend was a trans man, though he never used the word transsexual, which would have been the term then.) Once I understood and embraced myself as a man--SO MUCH of my relationship history and sexuality just *clicked*.

@FinnTheInfinncible

3 жыл бұрын

This is really interesting, thank you for sharing. I can completely relate, it was all so confusing to me, until I realised I was trans and then so much began to make sense, but then....a second wave of confusion as I discovered myself to be gay, which then led me to have to make sesne of mysef all over again! yes gender and sexuality are seperate but they are also so very interconnected. As my knowldge of myself as a man grew, and then my body evolved with hormones and surgery, my sexuality shifted too. Its such an incredible thing to experience isnt it!

@UnopinionatedBystander2393

3 жыл бұрын

MEEEEEE!!! THIS IS MEEEEEE!!!!

@cloudsofsunset7323

3 жыл бұрын

aaaaw that's so beautiful to read i am so happy for you

Such a wonderful video Finn, thanks for sharing your story X

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

Thanks so much for watching!

Hi Finn. Thank you for putting out another relatable clip. I genuinely appreciate & enjoy your content.

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

That is lovely feedback, thank you so much :)

Hi Finn - Great vlog as always and really relatable as well. Much love to you and FurrFurr.

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

Thanks fella, much love to you from us!

Great video loved hearing your story xx

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you!

OMG Finn, I love the beard 🥰 haven’t seen your channel in a while but I’ve missed you so much x you’re amazing x

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

Bless you! Yes, the lockdown beard! Though I have tamed it a little now.....it was begining to need its own postcode...

awesome video. i can relate to this so much. i‘m ftm transgender and gay. so all this makes perfect sense to me. thank you for sharing your life with us

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

I'm very glad to hear it was helpful. Thanks for watching!

🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 I was so riveted that I didn't even comment lol! I can say we have a LOT of parallels in our journeys for sure. I'm attracted to males, my only difference is that I like feminine guys (long hair is a big plus for me lol) I tired dating female when I identified as female, it was a wonderful experience, but I KNOW in my heart, my life partner would be male. I was so confused for a while as well, my mum even asked my sister if I was lesbian because I couldn't hold a relationship with a guy for too long at a time because of the intimacy/sex thing. I had a few good relationships, some threesomes, and have learned myself that there is definitely a difference between preference in the heart, mind, and body! I could share so much more but I'm still processing, and I thank you so much for this video Finn, you're awesome, and I love you for being so open and honest that it helps so many of us out here still floating (I still feel like a bit of flotsam at times) and still figuring out more and more about myself and who I want to be in this world. I for sure know I'm flamboyant, gay, and unique! I also know I am attracted to a bit of non-binary/androgynous/male leaning people. My issues start when it comes to perfumes, make-up, clothing... I'm allergic to so many things that have perfumes, scented soaps and such that I pretty much live in a very unscented world lol! It's hard to find someone these days who also is like me who needs to have everything dye/scent/latex free in the whole apartment along with a host of dietary restrictions (food allergies) I feel like I could write a novel about my journey, and maybe some day I will, but for now, your smiling face and understanding of the whole journey is such a great heartwarming thing to share that I feel like "At least someone out there understands those different phases we go through"! MUCH LOVE TO YOU, YOU WONDERFUL BLOKE!!! 💖👍💯✨🌞🤗 Give my love to Christopher as well, he is such a great guy for being the love of your life and your awesome support and partner!

Hey finn, you are an amazing, beautiful, caring, man. This video really reminds me so much of Thomas, he spoke to me so much about being scared to come out as gay being trans. We are who we are, we love who we love, and no one should ever feel bad about that. You are one of the most remarkable men i know. XxxX

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

Bless your heart Ems, that's so lovely. Everyone should be free to be themselves.

Honestly i feel so silly looking back, i went to an all girls school and when we had PSHE in year 8 (around the time i noticed i started liking girls) the person teaching it said people often GROW OUT OF LIKING THE SAME GENDER. I literally believed this for years and thought that one day this magic switch would happen and i would start liking boys. I used to sit at break time looking at the boys playing sport through the fence and trying really hard to fancy them. At age 17 i accepted within myself that i dont think i am going to fancy boys and i came out aged 18 to my parent. I wish i could go back to baby me and just tell myself what i was, but in other ways im glad i was never out at school as there is a stereotype of same gender schools 'turning' people gay.

Oh my god. I just replied aloud to nearly everything you said like “yeah!! Oh gods.... YES! ..... RIGHT!” I’m scared of becoming visible again! Anyway so happy you’ve found your path again! Thanks so much for sharing your wonderful Life journey.

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

Yep! It's understandable, but l have found that the more I get comfortable in my own skin, the less l care what people think and lm now quite happy to be out loud and visible!

Great video! I’m so happy you’re happy✌️❤️😊

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much!

Thanks for sharing your journey!

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for watching!

Ohh what a hard and complicated time in your life, you’ve done an amazing job of understanding yourself and telling your story to help others ❤️❤️

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you for those very kind words. It has been challenging, but it has led to the wonderful life I have now!

@chethornbury2771

4 жыл бұрын

FinnTheInfinncible ❤️ absolutely, I’m so happy that you found your happiness. You deserve it x

Finn your videos are so insightful. One thing I can't help but miss is that you don't go into any part of your past trauma and self harm. (Asking, because I have severe PTSD myself.) Could you share a nugget of that please to help us understand your process more deeply?

@FinnTheInfinncible

2 жыл бұрын

Thanls for your kind comment. I have talked a little about my self harm. Its often a tough one to talk about as is past trauma, but I would be happy to make some videos on this, is there anything particualr you would like to see me talk about? Here is an old video I made about self harm: bit.ly/3yZIbpv And a blog post: finlaygames.com/self-harm-an-older-males-perspective/

Thank You Brother!!! GREAT VIDEO!!! 👍😎

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much!

Woah, I didn't know that feeling sick after/while sex is because I'm trans, but it makes so much sense. I'm shoock.

Aww didn't know you were a care assistant nice one xx ❤

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

Yes, that was my main job for many years after leaving college. Fun fact, l am a trained nanny!

Looking at you now I wonder how you could ever have thought you were a straight male,you are obviously,fabulously gay,flamboyant and camp as christmas.I know its been long journey with lots of learning and transitions,physically and mentally,but whoever and whatever you are or become you will always be pretty damn awesome xx

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

Love that!!! Thank you!!! And everyone else knew l was gay....goodness the denial was deep!!!

i relate to what you mention were your experiences early on with men. like fully atrcted to them but then sex felt weird edit: totally omg! when you mention the issues were always about sex and intimacy!! it's my case too

Great video you're a very good speaker - im not transgender but I am gay and I suppose I always assumed 99% of transgender people start out gay and then go straight after they transition but it's surprising how that often isn't the case. Dunno why it's surprising to me though 'cause as you say gender and sexuality are totally different. I suppose most people make too many assumptions. Anyway really glad you figured everything out and met a nice guy 🌞

@FinnTheInfinncible

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for your lovely comment and kind feedback! Its so interesting to hear your thoughts on this, and to hear how my videos help understanding, I am so grateful you shared this with me!

In the video you mentioned that you are living in Devon. I am from the Netherlands but I was always anglofile and very much into British popmusic. I grew up in the '80's and the British music in that era was fantastic. During that time I always was very much drawn to the gay popicons. My favorites were Boy George, the Pet Shop Boys and Frankie Goes to Hollywood. Recently I saw Paul Rutherford on youtube and I still felt myself attracted to him. So I always liked gay men. But because I was female I did not understand those feelings. In that era nobody ever heard about transmen, so I didn't understand my feelings at all. And because I never felt myself attracted to straight men, I thought I must be a lesbian. So when I was in the gay clubs I always wanted a date with the most masculine girl in the club. But of course these relationships didn't worked out because masculine gay women almost always want a partner who is feminine in her looks and presentation. So all my life I had lesbian relationships, untill I discovered I was trans and suddenly my experiences in the past made sense to me.

This is such a relatable topic... Thank you for addressing this. I dated a bisexual man, and that combined with the BDSM notion of top and bottom I think allowed me to better understand why I’m attracted to men but sex with straight men doesn’t feel right...

@FinnTheInfinncible

3 жыл бұрын

Thanks for watching! Yes, sometimes it takes a while to work these things out!

You Rock Finn..!

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

Aw thank you!

Yeah I totally relate what you're saying but for me I always find that with men I am not fond of them on the relationship side of it because they play a male role so then I ended with short time hook ups things of that nature but sex sometimes just doesn't feel right to me with men the only time it does is if I'm on my cycle and my hormones make me kind of want to be female the thing is even at that point I still know I'm not a female. I am just playing. But yeah with sexuality it's always been tough for me but I kind of right away knew I wasn't really a straight woman or a lesbian but more gay. But I have had the hardest time saying that reason why is because I felt as a teen like the lowest of the low. Like lgbt people would reject that idea when I was growing up of being a gay transman and transgender people seemed to reject that as well so I felt in society I fit best as a straight woman even though I've always known I wasn't a straight woman

Awesome story, Finn! I watched some Snookah this month and I joined your flock. How do I get into your discord?

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

Hello my friend! Thanks so much for joining the Flock club, so pleased to have you as a member! The details to join Discord are as follows.... To join our Flock Club on discord you first need to set up and connect discord to KZread. This must be done on desktop /laptop first, connecting won’t work on mobile. Once you have followed these steps then you can use discord on mobile . How to join ~ First download discord on laptop discord.com/· ~ Now on your discord profile go into connections and connect YOUR KZread account· ~ Once connected, the Flock Club will show automatically, and you can click on it to enter ~ Now download discord for mobile and you can use it on the go!

@downyknight

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you! Be safe & well.

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you! See you in the discord later! let me know if you have any issues joining!

Oh my goodness you have described my life! I separated a year ago from a 16yr marraige and coming out as trans (masc), I'm 43 and discovering your channel has been so reassuring. Starting med transition in mid-life feels as much about grieving lost time as it is about celebrating. I'm just realising that it's okay to admit to liking men, as a trans man it finally feels ok x

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you for your lovely comments, glad my content is reasurring, thats lovely feedback. Yes, its a bittersweet things for us, that as older trans people we are joyful at discovering ourselves, but sad that so much time is lost. It takes a lot of wise self awareness to both process and let go of this grief, and I fond it comes and goes in waves. What a huge and courageous life change, you have had, I am so pleased for you, hearing that you have found yourself makes me so happy. Its absolutely OK to be gay! If you want to see more of my content, or get in touch at any time if I can help, my website is finlaygames.com

@letterfromchiapas

4 жыл бұрын

@@FinnTheInfinncible thank you that's very generous. I might just find myself doing that as my lifecourse unfolds! Your content is really helping me not panic about having "all the things" right away. I'm nervous about being alone but I get what you say about needing to really know myself first and embrace everything I've spent years repressing 💚

much love from one gay trans man to another ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

Much love to you to my friend!

It feels so awesome to look at you as someone as same as I am, even the same gender. I am so uncomfortable with my bottom I do not feel like visiting the gyn doctor, now I know why. Btw I do not know how to say it other way, so can you top after the bottom surgery? So sad you were so confused I knew I was a boy attracted to boys since forever.

@FinnTheInfinncible

3 жыл бұрын

I spent many years confused! But it was worth it in the end! I have had phalloplasty with an erectile device so I can both top and bottom

@BJKage

3 жыл бұрын

@@FinnTheInfinncible I really love every single one of your videos and your jokes. I have an appointment at my psychologist next week and psychiatrist next month. I´ll see what they gonna tell me. Btw thank you so much for answering my weird question. Every time I have to give myself a shot of blood thinners I think about tat joke you said and it doesn´t hurt anymore.

@FinnTheInfinncible

3 жыл бұрын

@@BJKage Im glad you love tham, I do try to keep them informational, but light too! Good luck with the psychologist!

I nearly.choked.on my dinner when you said you're 46!! You do not look that old #shook

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

Ha ha! Yep, see all those years as an alcoholic clearly pickled my face and preserved it like a pickled egg 😂

@lizstubbs2969

4 жыл бұрын

@@FinnTheInfinncible lol xx you look great xx

I could never pinpoint my sexuality before transitioning either. I knew I didn’t fancy men, but I was attracted to the thought of a man and woman together. I knew I fancied women but whenever I had an opportunity to ‘lez’ it up with a woman, I too felt sick. And angry and resentful. And although I don’t mind the image of 2 straight looking women together (no offence to lesbians), I certainly could not imagine myself as one of those women. Since taking testosterone, things are falling into place. My poor wife!

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

We find ourselves eventually, and Im sure your wife is just happy to see you happy!

I came out at trans too in sobriety!!!!!!!!!!

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

Ah! How was that for you?

@callumcallahan7794

4 жыл бұрын

@@FinnTheInfinncible It is amazing. Being able to accept who I am is such a life long journey. Thank you so much for these videos!

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

@@callumcallahan7794 makes me so bloody happy to hear that!

@callumcallahan7794

4 жыл бұрын

@@FinnTheInfinncible your videos are such an amazing blessing! I'm in the early HRT stages and your experience strength and hope and HONESTY does so much to encourage me!!!

Do you think, as someone now with a male partner, that perhaps you were just a bit too early in your transition to accept your trans partner?

@FinnTheInfinncible

2 жыл бұрын

Its a good question! I think I just wasn't yet ready to accept I was gay, I still had a lot of growing to do, and feeling comfortable in my own skin. WE split up for other reasons anyway

You have been the real LGBTQ and straight.

@FinnTheInfinncible

3 жыл бұрын

Yes I have! Seen both sides!

It's very confusing. Others were so very lucky if they have someone to stay by their side. I feel attracted to women and somehow with men. But I don't feel right my body. I feel like I'm a girl. But then I also like to have a relationship with a girl.

@FinnTheInfinncible

3 жыл бұрын

It can be very confusing. I do feel we first have to know who we are, before we can then know who we are attracted too and feel confortable being intimate. Just take your time with it, it will make sense with time

Yeah being gay while trans it's harder because you have to not only accept being trans but now gay it also kind of alienates you from so many people etc....

@FinnTheInfinncible

3 жыл бұрын

Yes I struggles with this too, but, views are changing, thankfully!