HOW I BECAME A SINGLE MOTHER, TWICE.

Hi guys, this video explains how I ended up in maintenance court and what the emotional effects of dealing with deadbeat dads have been for me. Hope you find this video valuable.
Please don't mind the quality, sadly, I am still shooting with my phone. It will get better though, I promise.

Пікірлер: 389

  • @nontokhumalo4149
    @nontokhumalo41492 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for sharing your story. It's easy for someone who hasn't experienced this to be judgemental. I'm in a similar situation, I was married to my baby daddy but nothing stopped him from turning around and for me to be a single mom. Nothing in life is guaranteed no matter how cautious you try to be. Keep being strong for your kids it's the best we can do for them.

  • @keitafoxy7428

    @keitafoxy7428

    2 жыл бұрын

    That’s totally different.

  • @TTmawaza

    @TTmawaza

    Жыл бұрын

    💔

  • @thabingxakata

    @thabingxakata

    Жыл бұрын

    I always say it's not the title that will secure you and your child but the character of that man will. My mom and dad were never together when they had me but my dad took on his role like a champ. I moved from my mom to live with my dad when I was 7 and I've been with him ever since till my mom passed. I'm 27 now and I'm sure my mom is in peace knowing she never had to worry about my dad suddenly turning his back on me.

  • @jessicameyer3110
    @jessicameyer31102 жыл бұрын

    I accidently stubble on your page and I feel right at home. Your content is honest, relatable and just the conversation that we need to have with others and ourselves. From my experience as a child who grew up with an absent/inconsistent father, I must say it has impacted me negatively. I found that I dive into relationships looking for that love that I dint get from my father, I fear rejection and a relationship ending and always internalize even the smallest detail. On the other hand I fear relationships ending and the person hurting me that I end up leaving after the slitest inconvenience and end up pushing them away due to my insecurities. I have a 2year old little girl who's father went AWOL and I vowed to make sure she never experiences these feelings or doubts herself due to his absence. Once again, love your content.

  • @winning3329

    @winning3329

    Жыл бұрын

    Always listening to your gut feeling. You pushed them away for a good reason.

  • @lettersandwordsandstuffs

    @lettersandwordsandstuffs

    Жыл бұрын

    @your tears are wine to me lol if chicks guts were so good they wouldn't need 5 baby daddies 🤣

  • @byoutifulmusic
    @byoutifulmusic2 жыл бұрын

    My heart goes out to your precious firstborn 🥰 I wish we could all give her a big group hug… she is loved by strangers… valuable because The Creator made her - only one of her - and she is wanted and worthy and special and loved. I’m sorry her dad is sorry. Shame on him.

  • @ntsakomavunda9018

    @ntsakomavunda9018

    2 жыл бұрын

    I'm here for that big hug for our princess ....may God who is really the father of the fatherless embrace her fully.

  • @khensybakes
    @khensybakes3 жыл бұрын

    💔 wow. Heartbreaking. Endure until the end. It’ll all be ok in the end. Get the kids into therapy so they can learn how to process their feelings relating to their fathers. Get yourself into therapy too. What a heavy burden. Life comes in full circle. The kids will be fine, the fathers will not be. We’ve seen this happen over and over again. It never ends well for them. You’re doing great. Continue with that. ❤️ I’m down with flu and I’ve literally spent all afternoon watching your videos. I’m sorry that you’re going through this. 13 years...? You’re more than halfway there. Keep going. ❤️

  • @TheMillennialMom1

    @TheMillennialMom1

    3 жыл бұрын

    Thank you so much, Khensani ❤️

  • @sphembatha6700
    @sphembatha67002 жыл бұрын

    Just discovered your channel 😁 Thank you for the courage of finding a niche that isn't dominant in South Africa but also one that is very important and needed in society We need Alot of youtubers who are like you Shine Mama ❤️

  • @servantofjesuschristthekin5291

    @servantofjesuschristthekin5291

    2 жыл бұрын

    Hey❤️ I may not know you personally however I care about you deeply because I know how much you mean to Jesus The King of all creation . I want to tell you that Jesus Christ loves you so much, he died for our sins so that whoever believes in him wouldn’t have to perish in hell but instead have eternal life in heaven. You need to understand that HEAVEN and HELL are 1000% REAL they aren’t imaginary , and hell is a horrible place I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. God doesn’t want you to end up there he wants you in heaven and so he is giving you a chance to accept the sacrifice of his son Jesus Christ and be saved. Day by Day the world is falling apart because we are literally living in the last days of Earth there is no doubt or debate about it, Jesus Christ is coming faster then you think to bring judgement to the world and to destroy it. This really is URGENT, it’s NOT A JOKE ,Tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone, you can be alive one minute and gone the next, please take this opportunity to be on the side of Mercy confess your sins and wicked ways to Jesus , sincerely repent/turn away from them, and ask for his forgiveness- ask him to enter your heart and to be your Lord and Savior before it is too late , truly believe in him and he WILL do it because it is his promise. It’s important that you seek the righteous and Holy path of the Most high God so that you may inherit eternal life and be spared of Hell fire. You can begin a new life in Christ and have a genuine relationship with him, please repent. May the Lord be with you eternally💕🙏🏾

  • @MELISSA-or7yk
    @MELISSA-or7yk2 жыл бұрын

    It's got a physiological effect..I have never seen my dad too. It's a scar that lives with you for life...this got me so emotional at 27

  • @maggien1119
    @maggien11192 жыл бұрын

    There is no excuse for a man to abandon his child , I have no respect for such men . What these men don't know is that they will pay for what they have done in the end .

  • @fitzgeraldsemelfort3938

    @fitzgeraldsemelfort3938

    4 күн бұрын

    What about the many women who leave do they face the same consequences

  • @AishaandLife
    @AishaandLife9 ай бұрын

    You’re South African! Sorry, I'm excited because I love finding South African moms on KZread. I’ve been binge-watching your videos and it’s so refreshing to watch your honesty in motherhood. Subscribed 💃🏽 Men are given the option to opt out of fatherhood too easily, especially in SA. Even within marriage. Thank you for sharing your story 👏🏾👏🏾

  • @veeberry6720
    @veeberry67202 жыл бұрын

    Amazing content. I don't have kids yet but now I know "a child belongs to the mother".... I wonder who told men these days they can choose whether or not they can be in the life of a baby they helped create.. Be strong mama, sending love from Kenya🇰🇪

  • @bumblebee4280

    @bumblebee4280

    2 жыл бұрын

    The problem with us Africans is calling women who want to be provided for gold diggers. Majority Asians and Caucasians the man takes care of everything. Like all men should. Women are soft hearted. Don't start a relationship sharing bills with a man. You will end up paying all the bills. If you feel guilty when taken care of, it's time to re-mother yourself. Women are meant to be taken care of so they can handle pregnancy, childcare, homecare and all other feminine duties with grace.

  • @mahlohonololebuso741
    @mahlohonololebuso7412 жыл бұрын

    Having a child in marriage isn't a guarantee either. Nothing in life is guaranteed. Man can pack up and leave anytime he wants. That is why when you decide to have a child, have a child for yourself. Not because you're married or in a commited relationship.

  • @lizzybeth428

    @lizzybeth428

    2 жыл бұрын

    Just yesterday I saw a post on tiktok about married single mothers. There were a lot of them. A LOT. A few ended up getting divorced while others are still in those marriages. They've learned to live with that fact. I was shocked because I didn't think they were that many.

  • @mahlohonololebuso741

    @mahlohonololebuso741

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@lizzybeth428 That's shocking. Imagine being married but also a single mother. That really sucks. Unfortunately a lot of women wake up when it's already too late for them. They just have to accept it and keep on living.

  • @la_lah

    @la_lah

    2 жыл бұрын

    You hit the nail on the head!

  • @theeproverbs31babe82

    @theeproverbs31babe82

    2 жыл бұрын

    yea💯💯

  • @portiamakhoahle3243

    @portiamakhoahle3243

    2 жыл бұрын

    Facts❤🤞

  • @tsholanangseleke5906
    @tsholanangseleke59062 жыл бұрын

    This is heartbreaking. I just pray that you learnt from these painful experiences. I'm not judging because life happens and men can't be trusted, you can't confirm indoda!! I'm sending you love and light ❤️❤️❤️

  • @beetjituka3653
    @beetjituka36532 жыл бұрын

    I'm glad i discovered this channel. I love love the content because I can relate. Shout out from Namibia ❤

  • @kawumapeter531
    @kawumapeter531 Жыл бұрын

    Very strong woman held back by Poor planning ....especially on the second one!! Who has live sex with people they are barely in a relationship with? Sometimes hardship is very predictable. Hope you find your footing and enjoy life the way God intended for you. Use Values to vet people. Some people are for a reason, Some for a season, others for a lifetime. If you lack values, u will try to make seasonal people lifetime people & end in pain. You will mis-categorize people. Values are what guide u to avoid pitfalls. e.g A man who sleeps with u without even knowing u tells u what their value system is and what to expect from them. For the ladies viewing this, approach sex with deep thought and awareness of possibilities & responsibility. Develop your values before dating!

  • @R1M1r1m1

    @R1M1r1m1

    5 ай бұрын

    @kawumapeter531 True. I wish someone would have told me this when I was younger.

  • @fitzgeraldsemelfort3938

    @fitzgeraldsemelfort3938

    4 күн бұрын

    @@R1M1r1m1why don’t you warn women instead of normalizing this.

  • @valentinamvumvu1412
    @valentinamvumvu14122 жыл бұрын

    😭😭😭this left me feeling so defeated but reminded me that there's a reason to every season and chapter in our lives and only God knows why and how it will all pan out. Your courage to share so much truth about your life elevates me, in you I see Gods love, patience, and forgiveness. You are loved and appreciated by many so focus on the love and let the world deal with the pain. Kind Regards. Valentina.

  • @ayandasam2269
    @ayandasam22692 жыл бұрын

    Please cut the curse so it doesn't happen to your daughters where you find them having kids that are rejected, just cut that rejection curse. This hurts.

  • @masentlelekwala9241
    @masentlelekwala92412 жыл бұрын

    There is so much power in speaking up and not letting societal shame on being left by a man keep you down..strength go you and your daughters

  • @jay02021
    @jay020212 жыл бұрын

    Triggering. Going through similar experience to your 2nd baby. We had been together for more than 6 years and we had a planned pregnancy. He just decided to disappear from us. We are trying to find new peace. It is well. God bless you.

  • @Leeworld310

    @Leeworld310

    2 жыл бұрын

    😭😭😭😭😭 Sorry

  • @mistiqr
    @mistiqr3 жыл бұрын

    I hope you heal from this but also learn from your mistakes. Please don't get me wrong, I'm not saying your kiddies are mistakes, I'm saying make a selfish decision For yourself and your girls in your next relationship to not land up in the same place. There's too much uncertainty with having babies with boyfriends, its just so heartbreaking... The inconsistency sounds like its doing more harm than good and his words are piercing her heart. That has got to stop, I think boundaries need to be set in place that he knows not to mess with your daughters heart like that. She's gonna grow up feeling rejected and finding love in the wrong places.

  • @TheMillennialMom1

    @TheMillennialMom1

    3 жыл бұрын

    Thank you Tumi, I hear you. Unfortunately, you'll just never know with men. Even married women can still be single mothers which makes it even worse. Men can switch up on you anytime and it there's nothing you can do to prevent it. But I hear your point. I've blocked his number off her phone and has asked him to never contact her again unless he'll be speaking sense and love to her.

  • @mbabaziashlyn1978

    @mbabaziashlyn1978

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@TheMillennialMom1 you literally took this reply out of my mouth. I understand and I relate to what u are saying. I would much rather be a single mom than be married yet a single mum raising a grown ass man. Rock on girl u are doing a great job and I'm proud of u

  • @englishbyayomajozi1735

    @englishbyayomajozi1735

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@TheMillennialMom1 It is so easy for people to judge. I am married to the father of my child and I identify as a single mom, Stay strong and God is faithful don't stop praying and fall in love with Jesus because His the true definition of love. As humans, we will always fall short and men are human and perhaps that is the issue. You're not asking for a lot from the father of your children, but God knows all things and sometimes peace is the best choice. We all reap what we sow, so keep being a great mom and take good care of yourself. Your😘 kids need a happy mom.😘

  • @dineoderbykekana652

    @dineoderbykekana652

    2 жыл бұрын

    I am steady trying to figure what mistakes you’re talking about….you make it seem like she went out looking for this outcome???

  • @jessn5677

    @jessn5677

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@dineoderbykekana652 having unprotected sex is asking to get pregnant. a condom is an easy solution and also plan b pill etc

  • @cebilendwandwe6857
    @cebilendwandwe68572 жыл бұрын

    I understand how your daugheter feels, coming from a deadbeat dad myself. Youre a great mom, you did well by talkking to her. No information is what kills us even more.

  • @fitzgeraldsemelfort3938

    @fitzgeraldsemelfort3938

    4 күн бұрын

    The mom never said what they did wrong right she was just no problem

  • @atarabat-yah2437
    @atarabat-yah24372 жыл бұрын

    It's heartbreaking for the children, but these men will not get away with it. They will have a heavy price to pay for causing the tears of innocent babies.

  • @crazyicecream2237

    @crazyicecream2237

    2 жыл бұрын

    Script a specific person into your life and get results without listening subliminal FREE BABY and kzread.info/dash/bejne/oWGJsaNmcs2xc9Y.html

  • @angiefromnairobi
    @angiefromnairobi2 жыл бұрын

    This is heartbreaking 💔 You're beautiful and strong. You and your kids deserve the very best ❤️ There's no excuse for these men not to take care of or even have a relationship with with their kids. There's an epidemic of irresponsible, deadbeat African/ black 'fathers'.

  • @lettersandwordsandstuffs

    @lettersandwordsandstuffs

    Жыл бұрын

    And single mothers who don't seem to get they don't have to be a ho and get pregnant lol

  • @intombenhle
    @intombenhle2 жыл бұрын

    One thing about me, I love your KZread and I'm going to catch-up on everything. You're so real.

  • @fufuintaiwan86
    @fufuintaiwan862 жыл бұрын

    im so sorry. as someone who was rejected by her dad I know exactly how Alwande yearns for her father. sending her strength and healing

  • @baatsebamashego334

    @baatsebamashego334

    2 жыл бұрын

    So sorry for what you went through ♥️

  • @nomahope3182

    @nomahope3182

    2 жыл бұрын

    Don't you even know your father's family. Sometimes having a relationship with your father's parents or siblings can soothe the pain. Even if he rejected you.

  • @lekis5975

    @lekis5975

    2 жыл бұрын

    So sorry to hear about your experience. That said, there are father's who are present but absent (they contribute nothing), present but abusive...so having a dad in your life can sometimes be over rated.

  • @Yassmiinn.

    @Yassmiinn.

    Жыл бұрын

    @@nomahope3182 Yeah no.

  • @anitakali1
    @anitakali13 жыл бұрын

    This is so heartbreaking. I’m so sorry for everything that you’ve had to go through and are still going through. May you draw strength from God

  • @TheMillennialMom1

    @TheMillennialMom1

    2 жыл бұрын

    Thank you so much baby ♥️♥️♥️♥️

  • @hellothere8347
    @hellothere83472 жыл бұрын

    I’m so sorry that this all happen to you 🥺 you didn’t deserve any of that! Your You’re so strong and beautiful! I pray you find somebody who truly love you and care about you! You deserve it❤️ I know you learned from your mistakes but please don’t have unprotected sex with these men that your not in relationships with and don’t know

  • @kitsontuli2713
    @kitsontuli27132 жыл бұрын

    What happened, happened. Focus on yourself and your children. Love and light 🤗

  • @tsakanimathye3376
    @tsakanimathye33762 жыл бұрын

    Oh Mandy, your mom is amazing ❤ I am so sorry you went through this. Wishing you healing, love and light ❤

  • @kayleevanrensburg9654
    @kayleevanrensburg96542 жыл бұрын

    I just found your videos now and I'm binge watching ALL of them, just to have the money rolling in!! May your channel grow exponentially, girl! You are a true inspiration ❤️🌼

  • @mihlalipienaar2760
    @mihlalipienaar27605 ай бұрын

    I recently stumbbled onto you page. I am healing through you. Sisi thank you so much I needed this

  • @tatsohrams
    @tatsohrams2 жыл бұрын

    It looks bad but God is using you to help others… he will reward you ❤️ he know you will handle it cause you are babe and your kids will be fine.. God will heal you and your gals❤️❤️you are so relatable❤️❤️💕 don’t take it personal bbes 💕

  • @tallkay2541
    @tallkay25412 жыл бұрын

    After watching this video and reading the comments it makes me sick to my stomach that people would solely put the blame on the mom. Yes it’s her body and her decision to have the child but regardless did she have sex with herself? Can she make a baby alone? Regardless of your feelings for how the babies were made the fact still remains that they were made so therefore BOTH parents should take care of them! Smh

  • @indigo500robber

    @indigo500robber

    2 жыл бұрын

    Both parents have equal responsibility for a child but women have more responsibility than men when it comes to conception being the gatekeepers of the womb

  • @naturalmom1375

    @naturalmom1375

    2 жыл бұрын

    Arg that’s how I feel as well… These women are going on and on about how she should be responsible next time bluh bluh I’m like whatttttttttt? So y’all are not gonna talk more about the men yhooo

  • @mogauledwaba9629

    @mogauledwaba9629

    2 жыл бұрын

    dnt lie there are positive comments

  • @SamkeVilana
    @SamkeVilana2 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for sharing I've learnt never to trust men ever again. Keep sharing keep creating. "They tried to bury you but they did not know you are a seed."

  • @NtombizonkeMehlomakulu
    @NtombizonkeMehlomakulu2 жыл бұрын

    A lesson here is to consider yourself a priority as a woman. You do what's best for you and your mental health. If a man can leave like that, then a woman should be selfish with her sexual engagement ie condom full time. Focus on your babies honey & you'll pull through, life is still beautiful regardless of what you had to go through. May God give you strength, peace and joy ❤️

  • @PeggysBibleStudy
    @PeggysBibleStudy Жыл бұрын

    Sooo many of us have a story to tell. After having my first child... I vowed that I would not have a second until marriage. I am 35years old and still single... and motherhood is really hard! I can't imagine how it is with more than 2 kids. Thank you for inspiring me to start my own channel and tell my story too🧡

  • @peninahwangui8001
    @peninahwangui80012 жыл бұрын

    Good content, keep it up!!!......Shout out from Nairobi, Kenya. i am co- parenting with my first born dad 's and pregnant for the current guy ,whose family wants nothing to do with me and my son because of the tribal issues.....I have gotten so much encouraged from your story and i will keep the strength for my babies won't allow any negativity whatsoever.

  • @tsakanimathye3376

    @tsakanimathye3376

    2 жыл бұрын

    Sending you love my sister ❤ I pray everything works out in the end for you.

  • @esthernjoroge1975

    @esthernjoroge1975

    2 жыл бұрын

    Sending love. Yu ll make it. Ave bn there too

  • @theeproverbs31babe82

    @theeproverbs31babe82

    2 жыл бұрын

    yeah in kenya this is happenning to a lot of women tupende watoi wetu that's all we can do

  • @Tshegomlp
    @Tshegomlp Жыл бұрын

    I commend your bravery, being so open about such a sensitive topic ❤️ Rooting for you always.

  • @zamamasengo1419
    @zamamasengo14192 жыл бұрын

    I just discovered this channel and landed on this video first, i wont lie it was such a hard video to watch because every second my heart broke for you and what you had to go through, i am so sorry that you had to go through all this pain and i hope you are in a better place for yourself and the Girls🥹❤️

  • @godisang4544
    @godisang45442 жыл бұрын

    You are so courageous. I watched a couple of your videos and wow! I pray God gives you healing, joy, and abundant blessings. May your journey prove that God is good. You've BEEN through it, enough is enough

  • @pmozen4990
    @pmozen49902 жыл бұрын

    You talking about it is therapy for you .Talk it out gal and we are here for you and your babies .Let them know they have hundreds of aunts and uncles cheering them on and praying for their wellbeing and future.

  • @siviwekulu6996
    @siviwekulu69962 жыл бұрын

    You're a very good story teller, ndiphunga iti ngoku and I'm glued to my TV 👁👁

  • @LindaTinahTV
    @LindaTinahTV2 жыл бұрын

    First of all bless you for publicly sharing these delicate , personal conversations that so many women are silently living. I am sorry you have had to go through this. Therapy definitely helps so seek that for you and you babies. The rest is out of your control, you can only pray for strength each day.

  • @keitafoxy7428

    @keitafoxy7428

    2 жыл бұрын

    I don’t get this kind of thinking.. how was this not in her control? Having a child is a choice, unless there was S3xual assault.

  • @LindaTinahTV

    @LindaTinahTV

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@keitafoxy7428 any adults knows it's never black and white but it's easy to throw stones from the other side of the fence right? Anyway I actually meant that what happens to the babies and how they grow is not something we can predict.

  • @QueenPenKen
    @QueenPenKen2 жыл бұрын

    You are such a beautiful courageous Queen. May the most high bless you with peace, wisdom, love, guidance and strength. I shared your story with my nieces and who are 17, and 19 you have made such an impact on them and their way of thinking when come to making their decisions thank you for your wisdom and courage ❤️🙏🏾🙏🏾❤️

  • @BeccaMojapelo
    @BeccaMojapelo Жыл бұрын

    This video really breaks my heart. You deserve a break and all the happiness in the world. I believe your kids are that for you but I do pray that you’re blessed with LOVE. No women should be STRONG throughout their lives, tshwanetse o phele soft life lwena 💜🙏🏾

  • @thulisilemasiza1993
    @thulisilemasiza19932 жыл бұрын

    What a painful thing to go through. I really can't imagine the pain you're going through. I'm so sorry. I pray you get healing and live that will rewrite all of this pain.

  • @refilwemammy2377
    @refilwemammy23772 жыл бұрын

    Can't stop crying, asking myself how can people be this heartless and so insensitive.. People are so careless and very aware the is God, and things will get very ugly💔😔sending my love to you and your children, God loves you all🙏🏽

  • @rocsib9551
    @rocsib95512 жыл бұрын

    In the beginning of your video I was very judgmental, but I am not going to come with the negativity. You’ve been through enough. All I want to say is I hope you learned from your past decisions, and moving forward you will make better choices. There is a LOT to learn from your situations. So many red flags, so many things that could have been done differently. Obviously, you can’t undo any of that, but just use better judgement in the future as you date. Wishing you and your family all the best.

  • @fefechroniclesd6776
    @fefechroniclesd67762 жыл бұрын

    Please keep and document everything, those types of fathers always come back later in life to break their childs heart again when life abavithizile..

  • @murenndi
    @murenndi2 жыл бұрын

    You are so brave and no one deserves to through what you went through. I am so sorry. Continue being there for your babies and loving yourself. God legit takes of his own.

  • @mel_chosen
    @mel_chosen2 жыл бұрын

    Argh man, I'm so sorry you went through this😭 I wish men knew the trauma they put children through. I hope your first born gets over the idea of having a relationship with him because she's always gonna be the only one trying. What's even more painful is watching your dad be the best dad to his other children while he won't even come see you when he promised to. Yoh💔

  • @mongwaitshephangkekana4876
    @mongwaitshephangkekana48762 жыл бұрын

    Oh Mandy ! The amount of abuse you have endured is honestly just heartbreaking. But you are trying your best. Therapy is definitely a good solution - both for you and the babies

  • @veero_promise2152
    @veero_promise21522 жыл бұрын

    Well I am late to your channel so basically binge watching your videos. I cried listening to your story, you are an amazing woman. We the same age and I don't know if I would have woken up from what you went thru. I just can't imagine what you went thru but you are here and that alone is a celebration coz wow. Thank you for standing up for ur kids, you are right , the men disappoint us not the government. Love, light , healing and success to you

  • @LifeWithSimvu
    @LifeWithSimvu Жыл бұрын

    He even goes to church, yet wishes a miscarriage on his child, Wow! Why does he even bother go to church? Amadoda mara! You're strong darling and you and your children deserve the best❤️and you're a great mama may God bless you

  • @bekz3
    @bekz32 жыл бұрын

    This was a very long video but enjoyed it so much, I relate so much as the single mom and also the child who was rejected by dad

  • @Meditations123
    @Meditations1232 жыл бұрын

    This is so heartbreaking for the kids. They did not come out of nowhere. The decision was made and do not deserve to be punished like that. The struggle of single moms and kids being rejected, just puts curses on such men

  • @sinovuyozathu4290
    @sinovuyozathu42905 ай бұрын

    Sana how is that your videos are mirroring some of our lives? Phofu my life. Again, thank you for being so transparent and for sharing your journey with us. YOU ARE HEALING soooooo many of us just by posting this.

  • @gegeunique8257
    @gegeunique82575 ай бұрын

    The biggest thing your daughter needs right now is guidance. Allow her the space to express herself and keep her involved in some sort of activities (school sports, community work/events, hobbies, etc.) Anything to really make her feel purposeful, and give her time A LOT of it to. Please be patient with your daughter and understand her feelings are not directed towards you. As a mother, show her the value of being a wholesome woman and keep a open transparent relationship with her. These are a few things I wished my mother did after losing my father, but all the best❤❤❤

  • @bridgetjones6819
    @bridgetjones68192 жыл бұрын

    I’m from Durban Kwa-Mashu, currently in Joburg and I’ve recently subscribed and watching all your videos. You have beautiful content Mkhaya….❤️❤️❤️❤️😘😘😘

  • @kelebogilemathule1285
    @kelebogilemathule12852 жыл бұрын

    I can't talk to my dad because he told me the same thing, that he has to parent his kids first and then come to me later, mind you we're the same age group so basically that's never. People always talk about forgiveness and what-what, but it's hard to forgive a person like that who has actively shown you that they are ashamed of you and I really do need him, especially financially but just him being there. And I'm turning 26. My situation is one of the reasons I'm scared to have kids. It's really not nice. So I can imagine how your daughter feels.

  • @kelebogilemathule1285

    @kelebogilemathule1285

    2 жыл бұрын

    I'm 26 and still feel like my own father did choose me. He did even want me to go to varsity because he couldn't "afford" to pay for my tuition but he could afford his kids

  • @busishauntelle
    @busishauntelle Жыл бұрын

    You’ve been through mama,you’re strong ❤️

  • @LilyOgini
    @LilyOgini2 жыл бұрын

    How do you narrate a story like this and not cry? Please I want to learn . You are my twin in this pain. I am getting fine, I know you and the girls are fine now. You are a strong 💪 woman.

  • @desireemagabe1473

    @desireemagabe1473

    2 жыл бұрын

    I wonder too because I still break down even now.

  • @vanessamarothi4508
    @vanessamarothi45082 жыл бұрын

    sending you love. Like I can't help but watch this with teary eyes. God bless you and your daughters, you are doing well

  • @itumelengmorobi270
    @itumelengmorobi2702 жыл бұрын

    Am so proud of you, and love the part you not really bad mouthing the fathers but just telling the truth of they are behavior.

  • @riechriech592
    @riechriech5922 жыл бұрын

    Im so scared to have kids for these exact reasons i swear my childhood was ridiculous i never grew up with my mum nor dad my dad has over 10 kids with other women im hes 4th but my mums 1st they were both young when i was born my mum being 19 and he left straight away my mum was depressed so i did end up getting taken away bh socail services stayed with a foster family for 2 years but after my aunty decided to "adopt" me and my experience there was not the best in my early teens i went absouletley wild from getting in trouble with the law,dating older boys,ended up getting kicked out of school etc by the time i stepped into my early 20s i was so traumatised by all these experiences but didnt even realise its only now in my mid 20s my perspective of life is changing & im returning into education to chase up my dreams of becoming a nurse, not having both parents around was really hard in my mid/late teens i was seeing men who were old enough to be my grandad now i realize its because i was looking for the dad that i never really had in them please teach your girls the better route & that nobody is gonna love them more than themselves theres only so much love we as individuals can give another human being blood or not self love comes first ive been single for almost 9 years due to a toxic relationship that left me emotionally and mentally scard have a alright job for now going to work my way up & just focus on myself & learn daily how to love myself youve got this big sis you & your girls God bless you. x

  • @leratokobedi1034
    @leratokobedi10342 жыл бұрын

    My advice to you would be, forgive. Yes, it hurts but forgiveness is for you and not for them. After you have forgiven, you can be your best self for yourself and your kids. Wishing you all the best. I'm available for a meet up, should you need it. ❤

  • @nachimwilz
    @nachimwilz6 ай бұрын

    Thank you for sharing your story. I too am a single mum. The person who impregnated me has never been there for my child. The good part is we are both fine.

  • @mamageorge8289
    @mamageorge82892 жыл бұрын

    May those kids soar to the highest they can go. Those pathetic people will line up to salute your kids. Above all you are all God's priority!

  • @lauren_knight
    @lauren_knight2 жыл бұрын

    Hi. I loved hearing your story. I am so sympathetic. I grew up with daddy issues. My dad is alive. He's well. Bt has never been present. I used to pack up and go force a relationship all the way to Namibia, using my varsity allowance, promoside me graduation clothes, I had to borrow an outfit on graduation as well as gown. All I had was shoes,it broke me. . When I grew up I chose to respect myself. Bt it's important 4 a child to know their father and decide for herself he's a deadbeat. You doing an amazing job raising them. My mom had 3 kids different fathers. I was so judgemntal of her. Bt I understand. She raised without any contribution from any of them. Bt she did. Sha did everything bt it affected her emotionally. Please avoid this. She became too harsh, narcissistic at times. Bt I get her. It then promoted me to avoid having a child out of wedlock because I just didn't want to struggle like she did. Bt still I respect and admire the resilience of single moms. You chose to have u daughter though dad said abort. Big ups mom. You chose ur daughter and that's special. U love her.

  • @R1M1r1m1
    @R1M1r1m15 ай бұрын

    From the perspective of someone who is from the US, what is good about your story in the case of your first daughter is that at least his family had a meeting with your family. It's a beautiful thing when both families can be involved and provide some type of support. I wish we had that here. Over here sadly it's uncommon for families to meet if a baby is involved. Only if the couple is in a serious relationship the two families may possibly come together.

  • @kagisomeldee475
    @kagisomeldee475 Жыл бұрын

    Hi strong mommy, I just recently came across your channel through a friend that told me about you 😊.. I haven’t even went far as too seeing more of your content but I love you ❤.. honestly speaking this video touched me a lot and I can see how strong you are trying to be.. I relate to this soo much Bcos it’s exactly what I’m going through right now, currently pregnant and going through it all alone in a foreign country and my 4year old. Trust me it’s soo hard and I hope one day I’ll get the courage to shame my story as well. But no that sis , I know exactly the pain you feeling and I’m going through it right now. Love and kisses and hope to meet you one day with your babies. Keep going there’s nothing wrong with you, you an amazing mother and your babies deserve you.

  • @rosaliebluestein1228
    @rosaliebluestein12282 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for telling your story, I don’t know why but because of the honesty of your last video I saw I wish you lived in the states because I think we’d get along very well!

  • @keamogetswe8083
    @keamogetswe80833 жыл бұрын

    I hope I'm ready to answer my boy with the truth when he is older. I'm not keeping that window of opportunity open for when he is ready to parent.

  • @TheMillennialMom1

    @TheMillennialMom1

    3 жыл бұрын

    Hey Keamo, I also hope you're ready mommy. It's sad that you're the one who has to tell that truth. It's such a hard conversation to have but it will definitely bring you and your son closer. Hope that's consolation.

  • @zeem5857
    @zeem58572 жыл бұрын

    I'm currently going through the same thing with my daughters father that time he's my neighbour ,he got another girl pregnant and he's been there for her since day one till today . We're always looking at them as a family loving on their child . He hasn't seen my daughter in a year and we live directly opposite each other he doesn't care about her I believe he hates her . The grandmother his mother denied her and him to . After DNA tests came out to confirm that she was indeed his he went and got a protection order against me and asked I never talk to him about my child . Never come near him and all that . Nami ke I left him alone . I'm raising my baby on my own she's almost 2 she doesn't know her father and he also doesn't know her .

  • @LollieShelby
    @LollieShelby2 жыл бұрын

    You are my favorite KZreadr. My absolute favorite.

  • @keitafoxy7428
    @keitafoxy74282 жыл бұрын

    I feel sorry for the children that have to go through this. The men who refuse to take responsibility are just plain trash….. However I think some women try to absolve themselves of the accountability. In this example, better choices could have been made. I wonder… Did you know he was married? Even if you didn’t know…..Why would it surprise you that his family wouldn’t warm up to you? They already lobola-erd a makoti.. They are obviously annoyed and it’s embarrassing to the family. Please be considerate of the innocent lives that have to suffer the choices you make. You would trust someone to repair the consequences of previous choices but you’re repeating the same bad choice. Why not use contraceptives or even better abstain? Instead of feeling entitled that now family must be involved in bad choices that have nothing to do with them? After everything the 1st child has been through, why get into the same situation again? I have a family member who has such m baby daddy issues and guess what it doesn’t stop her from repeating the cycle. And each time she want to be seen as a victim and expects everyone to fall over themselves to help the situation. It’s so embarrassing to keep going emizini ukuyo biga i-cala.. Where is the self love.. Like everyone has their own things to deal with.

  • @Yassmiinn.

    @Yassmiinn.

    Жыл бұрын

    You make valid arguments.

  • @reflioekheswa6314
    @reflioekheswa63142 жыл бұрын

    You are a phenomenal woman. I pray that God heals you and your children and may you find true genuine love ❤️🌸

  • @theeproverbs31babe82
    @theeproverbs31babe822 жыл бұрын

    our stories are so similar❤ 2019 the year i cried n i felt so much pain but God gave me the best baby, bambi my girl

  • @noluthandokubheka6233
    @noluthandokubheka6233 Жыл бұрын

    you so strong ma and you do so much for your kids❤Wishing you all the best! I hope Alwa gets better too...i can relate with so much that she says but i have come to peace with it and i honestly dont care anymore i just hope he never trys reaching out to me and its so sad that absent fathers have been normalized but i guess its life.

  • @baatsebamashego334
    @baatsebamashego3342 жыл бұрын

    Shuu man my heart goes out to you mommy and your beautiful babies ♥️..

  • @UMGOSI43
    @UMGOSI432 жыл бұрын

    Aaai guys these negative comments are not necessarily.. The fact that they had sex together and a child came out of that meant that they were both supposed to take responsibility. Married or not, he can't then hide and say i can't take care of another child coz I'm married. Why was he having sex with another woman if he was married. All that doesn't matter even if she knew. The baby matters here, the baby deserves care from all parents and if one parent is neglecting the child then it's a problem. Why are we not advocating for the child here.. Instead we are shaming Amanda. Does it matter if she knew? It doesn't change the fact that the child is here now and she needs both parents.

  • @iamnursezee
    @iamnursezee2 жыл бұрын

    I've been binge watching your videos since 18:00 😭😭😭

  • @TheMillennialMom1

    @TheMillennialMom1

    2 жыл бұрын

    Thanks so much babe 🥺🥺

  • @Thrivewithabi
    @Thrivewithabi2 жыл бұрын

    Sis!!!!! I am with you in spirit. I have a similar story to yours only that I chose to leave both my son's dad because it just wasn't worth it. I applaud your strength. I pray your girls grow to understand and you can also share your story with them as they grow. It is definitely not their fault that their fathers chose to miss out on their fabulous lives and I pray that you will navigate this season of your life with Grace and Wisdom. I am a fan and I am here for you!!!!!! Love you

  • @naturalmom1375
    @naturalmom13752 жыл бұрын

    It’s disgusting how some women are coming with Negativity here, it’s so disgusting 🤮… Children are a gift from God, so she should have aborted because y’all think she’s not responsible??? Y’all have problems

  • @mahlohonololebuso741

    @mahlohonololebuso741

    2 жыл бұрын

    Don't you think that, if the children weren't born, they wouldn't have to experience all the hurt and rejection from their fathers?? I think it's better to abort and avoid all the misery, rejection, depression, loneliness, maintenance courts etc. Not trying to be rude, I'm just giving you the flip side of the coin.

  • @naturalmom1375

    @naturalmom1375

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@mahlohonololebuso741 i was raised by a single mom, let me tell you I AM GLAD MY MOTHER MADE THE DECISION OF KEEPING ME… We grow up n learn that life is not all about that. The most important thing is that she shows her babies love beyond everything. They will decide Let’s not predict predict how her future would be like. Im proud of the fact she loves her children.

  • @mahlohonololebuso741

    @mahlohonololebuso741

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@naturalmom1375 don't get me wrong. I couldn't agree more what what you say. But also, there's also the option of abortion. It's a not popular option and it's sensitive but it's a good option. I completely respect your sentiments ❤️

  • @yomie7026

    @yomie7026

    2 жыл бұрын

    She is shamed for being a single mum She would be shamed if she had an abortion She would be shamed if she abandoned her child She is shamed for having two kids out of wedlock Ofcourse she is shames because its all her fault, right? She should have known what she was getting herself into... She thought she was smarter than the rest of us. I say this over and over again... Women hate women and men capitalize on that. Why are the men allowed to get away? Even Jesus called out the crowed that had condemned the woman accused of adultery for not presenting the man she was accused of being adulterous with... Njani yebonine? Is this the emotional torture we were designed for? Are we not people ourselves?

  • @Tanyalapatrone
    @Tanyalapatrone2 жыл бұрын

    I just found your channel. Your story reminds me of my own.

  • @zenzi.mKhumalo_makaNqobile
    @zenzi.mKhumalo_makaNqobile2 жыл бұрын

    Hi I am a new subbie and I love watching channel, you know each and every thing you are talking about the rejections from the baby daddy and family it's something I went through girl the hurt shame kubuhungu kakhulu.

  • @brendamabusela1168
    @brendamabusela11682 жыл бұрын

    You are so real. I loved watching this.

  • @nomaswativilakazi7683
    @nomaswativilakazi76832 жыл бұрын

    Shuu. This was heartbreaking to watch. May God help you and ur children as you navigate this life and May He fill holes in yours and their lives and bring about restoration. I pray for healing amongst everyone affected. There’s pain & betrayal all round.

  • @englishbyayomajozi1735
    @englishbyayomajozi17352 жыл бұрын

    It's funny to me how the man knew he was married, so he lied to you and his wife, but you are being attacked, victimized, alienated, and verbally abused. The double standards are like… wow!!! People should be ashamed! I am really sorry that you had to go through all of this. Men are so weird, you just never know. Such narcissistic behavior.

  • @dipalesambola8593
    @dipalesambola85932 жыл бұрын

    I'm so sorry for all thst you've experienced 😔 ahhhhhhhh man, God is God and he'll see all 3 of you through. I really wish healing for everyone!

  • @auntyb4130
    @auntyb4130 Жыл бұрын

    Trust me girl u will be fine.... Don't give up on love u deserve happiness💖💖

  • @giftkafula5013
    @giftkafula50132 жыл бұрын

    My love. God only wants the best for you. You were not meant to go through this. It’s unfortunate that you went through it but God’s got you. Please pray for ur beautiful and purposeful self to come to life.. unlock your reality with consistent prayer. I will include you in me prayers too.

  • @catherineismyname6068
    @catherineismyname60682 жыл бұрын

    Mommy your strong.... Hanging in there and axcept each and everything that happened. Chose peace for your children to happy

  • @exiniam
    @exiniam2 жыл бұрын

    I'm really sorry you had to go through that. please continue to be strong for you lovely kids, God bless you lovey.

  • @mpingamarenene5627
    @mpingamarenene56272 жыл бұрын

    I'm so sorry sthandwa sam that you have to go through this experience, but you are strong. Thank God 🙏

  • @diinashaanika2467
    @diinashaanika2467 Жыл бұрын

    😭😭girl I love you,just came across to your channel 🧡

  • @AwesomeNaka
    @AwesomeNaka2 жыл бұрын

    Hey honey! I am so sorry for everything you going through, a piece of advise, you need to pray against spirit of rejection for you and your children. I know Jesus Christ loves you so much. Just seek him, no more sex until your marriage. I'm not better that you, I went to a lot recently and I decided to give my life to Jesus, cause I know I was wrong. Ps: I'm French, not fluent in english yet.

  • @preciousnompumelelomtshali4668
    @preciousnompumelelomtshali46682 жыл бұрын

    You are such a strong woman, and I love you for that. Ehh we go through alot as woman😪

  • @tirhanimasangu3579

    @tirhanimasangu3579

    2 жыл бұрын

    Yoh too much.

  • @keamogetswe8083
    @keamogetswe80833 жыл бұрын

    My child's father asked for an abortion after I refused he dipped. Was absent the whole pregnancy only returned a month after my son was a month old...let's just say I wish he would've left us alone. He does send money but hai

  • @siphehSiphesihle

    @siphehSiphesihle

    3 жыл бұрын

    Thats my wish too mommy💔

  • @AkwaIbomDoll

    @AkwaIbomDoll

    2 жыл бұрын

    why did you carry the child after he showed you his nasty behaviour?

  • @keamogetswe8083

    @keamogetswe8083

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@AkwaIbomDoll as opposed to doing what?

  • @AkwaIbomDoll

    @AkwaIbomDoll

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@keamogetswe8083 aborting a child who’s father was bound to be absent? getting rid of an unplanned financial strain? idk just ideas 🤣

  • @keamogetswe8083

    @keamogetswe8083

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@AkwaIbomDoll silly ideas. He could've gotten the abortion himself if he wanted it that much

  • @sbongilemakhuvele4938
    @sbongilemakhuvele493810 ай бұрын

    i have been rejected by my biological mother, since the age of three. we live in the same village by the way, never has she bothered about me. im 24 now, nothing has changed. last of last year i felll pregnant i have a dead beat baby daddy, But since i know how rejection feels, i prepare myself for my child's questions and im not gonna hide anything from her, im gonna tell exactly as it is when the time comes. Sometimes we just need to understand that that's how some people are, there's nothing you can do in this world to change them if they are determined to do you wrong. I feel like somethings are just need to accepted and try to live your life to the fullest, you cant waste the amount of years God has given you in this world chasing people to take accountability, you're too precious for that.

  • @bmshik
    @bmshik Жыл бұрын

    Ya neh then we want to judge Gogo Maweni. People push you to extremes. I cant believe what 1st baby daddy is texting your daughter i would block him for mental health of the child. Shout out to second baby daddy's Church. Doing the Lords work. Churches are meant to help the community not just shield Church members.

  • @sinethembantuli45
    @sinethembantuli45 Жыл бұрын

    I can totally relate to your story, My second baby daddy’s had his favourite child and his family aswel loves his favorite child. Like I remember this one time i was forced to go with him to home affairs for the Surnames to be the same and he said if I didn’t want to than I shouldn’t tell him anything about his child. I did agree but i didn’t get any maintenance from him. I even remember when he bought his favourite baby clothes that day, he tried to hide it but i saw a huge package from Ackamens. And on the same day in the Afternoon he posted his favourite daughter. How i got through this whole thing i prayed and accepted everything thing as it is. Im quiet happy cause my younger daughter is obsessed with me, she never wants to live with out me. For my first daughter she only visits them during holidays but never pay any maintenance. They buy her clothes only if it suits them. 😆. You not alone and you not the problem, they just don’t know what they want. But i still wish them well.