"I'm not the one that's controlling this fictional universe!" -writer Tao Yang

@majestical15

5 жыл бұрын

Stan Lee would never say this

@davidlastname1599

5 жыл бұрын

wow, a bad person and a liar. he'll do great.

@SAdventist

5 жыл бұрын

Spot on!

@digiornopizza1918

5 жыл бұрын

Is his name really tay-oh or tau? Because you spelled tao. Which sounds like tau. But I just want to know how tay-oh can be turned into tau. I don’t mean to be like this.

@LOL1626

5 жыл бұрын

@@digiornopizza1918 Then don't be like that. Control your life.

The fact that Raph was wearing that pink party hat while being so dark and serious made this 10x funnier

@smaakjeks

5 жыл бұрын

Hey, that's raci- oh you mean figuratively.

@komlat253

5 жыл бұрын

Yea it confused 10 times much worse then my sexuality. I didn't know to laugh of panic

@equicatedo

5 жыл бұрын

He's a little fuh-reak

@RadouaneSbaa

5 жыл бұрын

I didn't even see the pink party hat anymore...

@Engineer_Heathen

5 жыл бұрын

Those party hats look really uncomfortable for a bald person.

What's fun is Tao's icebreakers actually told us a lot about his true self. "Do the right thing, no matter the consequneces"

@pharaohatem6884

Жыл бұрын

Yeah right until his desire for reverse drove him to commit murder. He may call it justice but it's still a crime, and even if you think it was justified he didn't bother to confirm if that guy was actually the one who killed his sister and didn't even question how they found him when the cops couldn't.

@garbouwdeark9103

Жыл бұрын

It was also the only one he had any "real" connection to. He might have answered the first two differently if he was actually given evidence of his best friend cheating or if his father turned up with a dead body.

@d.f.4830

Жыл бұрын

I mean… it told us that, like a lot of people, under his soft little face is this absolutely rigid punitive streak. Call the cops on your dad? Shoot the guy who killed your sister in the face? Me and Jesus don’t call that ‘doing the right thing,’ and Jesus isn’t even real

@imashadow699

Жыл бұрын

@@d.f.4830 I Mean, Why Wouldn't You?

@MrMuel1205

Жыл бұрын

I did like that they kept his character consistent.

love how this ended. "Yeah, I'm gonna look him in the eye everyday. It's gonna be a lot of fun for me."

@komlat253

5 жыл бұрын

Like how is that fun for u ?lol he tried to kill you ! That last sentence was just so messed up in so many way s lol

@eviemuffins

5 жыл бұрын

@@komlat253 haha its almost as if the joke is that it's messed up

@slockhrt

5 жыл бұрын

Raph's "You hear that, freak!" was best.

@Lawrence330

5 жыл бұрын

@@slockhrt Agreed!

@jakes.4147

4 жыл бұрын

Harry Depova I read this exactly as I heard it lmao

I think this is how they induct new SNL cast members.

@gaminglegend

5 жыл бұрын

What's SNL?

@adygombos4469

5 жыл бұрын

Induct? Man that's cruel.

@matty7834

5 жыл бұрын

@@gaminglegend a really shit corporate TV show

@jackburnette4883

5 жыл бұрын

@@matty7834 it's really good. You're just not smart enough to get it.

@Dr.J69

5 жыл бұрын

@@gaminglegend its suckNailslife

That was written by Tao?! He’s gonna do great :D (Lily was great too)

@komlat253

5 жыл бұрын

Yeaaaaa! Tao ! 4 more years of tao ! I support him

@janvanhouwelingen4721

5 жыл бұрын

I already love this guy!

@ajstudios9210

5 жыл бұрын

@@janvanhouwelingen4721 Same.

@ronaldmcdonald2024

5 жыл бұрын

And they were never seen again

@sleeplessdistrict3897

5 жыл бұрын

He seems to kinda have the same kinda energy trapp has in some sketches, like the voice of reason. Can’t wait to see his new sketches though

Uses tools to pick the cards out of the box. Continues to hold them with his hand.

@exposedd2

5 жыл бұрын

Logic

@ArcasDevlin

5 жыл бұрын

The boxes protects the cards from those who would attempt to steal them. The box, perhaps, is deadly, not the cards.

@runoxb

5 жыл бұрын

@@ArcasDevlin Death Box 2 vengeance In theaters near you .

@rubyharris6119

5 жыл бұрын

Now you're asking the real questions. Edit: not a question.

@piequals314

4 жыл бұрын

@@rubyharris6119 lol u didn't edit ur reply

2:05 The fact that Grant got syphilis twice irl makes this 10 times funnier

@karaigrayson8198

Жыл бұрын

Really?

@Cobleemil

Жыл бұрын

@@karaigrayson8198 yes

@Demiglitch

6 ай бұрын

Did he time travel to the wild west again?

@soupisfornoobs4081

2 ай бұрын

@@Demiglitch Syphillis is still around, especially in underdeveloped countries like the US.

Taio is officially my new favorite character after pulling the trigger.

@Protag_Kun

5 жыл бұрын

I still love Zac and Brennan but Taio is on my top 3 now

@terrencemcgarty6810

5 жыл бұрын

@@Protag_Kun Zac left over a year ago tho

@billmurrayatemygelato730

5 жыл бұрын

@Lily Blackwell Don't correct peoples spelling on a KZread comment. It demonstrates insecurity.

@callmejoe8594

5 жыл бұрын

Same. He's a _freak_ and I love him for it.

@norefunds4731

5 жыл бұрын

@Lily Blackwell You are actually going from thread to thread.....do you have shame but lost it, or did you just forget to pick some up?

The end scene belonged in a movie. Raph’s acting is beyond phenomenal, the build up paired with the music is cinematic gold. Good on CH, they know their shit.

@hotsauce-ud1by

3 жыл бұрын

I loved the music buildup, and raphs acting was amazing

I, too, am one of those people who doesn't like social conventions.

@THEMATT222

3 жыл бұрын

Lol, F

@NapazTrix

3 жыл бұрын

Oh, you're one of those. You're driving down the street at 50 mph and there's an elderly driver behind you but a child crossing the street ahead of you. Do you run over the child or brake harshly and have the elderly driver behind you crash into you and possibly die from the impact?

@Barrillel

3 жыл бұрын

@@NapazTrix Brake hard obviously, in the moment all you'd be aware of is the risk in front of you and not about an old lady tailgating you. (3 car lengths, grandma!)

@glooperscooper

3 жыл бұрын

@@Barrillel that's altering the question. You're clearly aware of the lady behind you. He told you you are

@Barrillel

3 жыл бұрын

@@glooperscooper fair point, but still the same answer, regardless. I'm not going to run down a pedestrian to avoid getting rear-ended, even if I know I'm being followed by someone guaranteed to not stop in time. They are supposed to leave enough space to stop for reason like this, and I'm not gonna change my behavior because of the other driver's negligent and risky behavior.

My favorite icebreaker: Do you favor a one or two state solution to the Isreali-Palestinian conflict? Could you describe in greater detail your ideal geopolitical situation in the region?

@CarneVP

5 жыл бұрын

Oh I will be using this in real life

@figgledoi

5 жыл бұрын

Death to Israel. Death to America. 😄☺️😜

@somkeshav4143

5 жыл бұрын

@@figgledoi Death to Everyone

@peterbell3199

5 жыл бұрын

Your house will most likely be suicide bombed just for posting this question.

@aliceraynor

5 жыл бұрын

One state. They have to accept that we're all one race and that neither should hold claim to "the holy city" alone as both their religions are based on it. The concept of religion should be removed from their government, and become a choice. But both have to agree.

These are definitely the type of questions that Brennan got when he first started working there, I’m just imagining him answering these immediately in full detail

I love the idea that every time they bring on a new cast member, they have an assortment of people related to tragic events and a loaded Glock in the back room in case they go with the dark questions.

@adt4864

Жыл бұрын

Actually the implication is that they do a background check to find tragic events to engineer situations based on that, which is more plausible, but still hilariously ridiculous.

I like their humor already. Can't wait for the new dynamic they are going to bring to the cast.

1:13 i MeAn yOu aSkEd fOr LeSs lAmE qUeStIoNs rIgHt?! He Nailed it

@iangonzalez4661

3 жыл бұрын

Phil our lord and savior

Raph's delivery really makes the skit work.

Hey CollegeHumor! So, Lily seems super fun and all, but that Tao guy, he seems like a total sociopath. Are you sure he's a good fit? I mean _what did Tom Hanks do to deserve syphilis??_

@Adrischa

5 жыл бұрын

Good comment

@nickwiththeweirdsunglasses

4 жыл бұрын

And grant isn’t

@manavsridharan3811

4 жыл бұрын

Not tell on Harvey Weinstein

I love how Tao's first two answers were ethically correct (preventing long time suffering and not allowing a murderer to get away), and they still think he's a monster

@milannovak1813

3 жыл бұрын

First one yes, second one depends

@duskmare0000

3 жыл бұрын

Both are debatable really, and both could be considered wrong answers for one reason or another. It's an unwinnable scenario and that's half the joke, haha. For the first one, you could say that the marriage might still potentially work. A lot more goes into a relationship than just sex after all, so the bride could potentially still end up with a happy marriage even if her husband is sleeping around. So is it really your place, as someone that doesn't really know their private 'behind-closed-doors' relationship, to interject and ruin that just because you caught him messing around with a brides maid? Even if confronting them is the right option, is the day of the wedding the right day to do it? You've got to consider the public shame of cancelling the wedding and the drama that would cause. At that point you'd have family and friends taking sides and it would be nearly impossible for any reconciliation between the bride and groom. Even if they did get past it, their families and friends would likely hold grudges and it would make all future family events quite uncomfortable. So perhaps the better plan would be to tell the bride later? Of course, if they file for divorce immediately then that would probably cause almost as much drama, but with a lot more court proceedings and possibly having to split their money or being accused of being a gold-digger depending on who had more money. For the second one, it's a lot more subjective. How close are you to your father? Are they a good person or not? Do they deserve your unreserved trust even if they appear to have done something awful like murder someone? If they're not a good person, would you defend them anyway because of your personal relationship? Really, you can swing any answer here and justify it as loyalty, morality or trust.

@kaedonx0673

3 жыл бұрын

@@duskmare0000 I think you’re looking into it as a situation that can be modified. The question was do you let the wedding go on leave them to a failing marriage or ignore it. The way he phrased the question means that it’s a guarantee the marriage would fail

@imashadow699

3 жыл бұрын

duskmare0000 1. I Will Destroy The Wedding (Do YOU Want To See Your Best Friend Suffering Everyday, From A Really Unnecessary AVOIDABLE Reason?) 2. Depend On Reason... BUT If It's Simple Dumb Reason, I'll Simply Bring Him To Police (Doesn't Mean I Can't Be Trusted... *But* Do YOU Want To Participate In His Crime, And Become A Trash Who AS GUILTY AS HIM?) 3. I... Won't Pull The Trigger (Death Is Way Too Easy for Him... *If It's True,, I'll Make Sure He Felt The SAME SUFFERING Like Me* 🙂)

@hossdelgado626

3 жыл бұрын

I feel this way when I play old games like Kotor 1/2. (Fucked if you do,fucked if you don't)

this tao fella's soul completely broke

Nobody: Not a single soul: Nobody in the Universe: Katie: I love cocaine

@lucaselting2946

5 жыл бұрын

@Hi. I'm your new dad. yeah it fucking sucks, i agree

@MrMertakhai

5 жыл бұрын

This comment template is derivative and uninspired. You're better than that. Be better than that.

@fantasyelk8546

5 жыл бұрын

Nobody: Not a soul: Nobody in the universe: William: This meme is good

@billmurrayatemygelato730

5 жыл бұрын

If pathetic was infected with hepatitis c and became homeless and really needed my help...it would still be better than you.

@williamlucente2599

5 жыл бұрын

Omagga ok

Saw this on Dropout last week just had to comment my favorite sketch perfect amount of dark.

@dropout

5 жыл бұрын

🍻😎You rule!!! Thanks for being a fan

This whole bit was ruined when Raf said the gun wasn't loaded. *_WAY TO SKIMP ON THE REAL WORLD EMOTION OF REVENGE MURDER._*

@dropout

5 жыл бұрын

YIKES

@JLConawayII

5 жыл бұрын

It's not murder, it's justice.

@HimanXK

5 жыл бұрын

@@dropout the correct response

@frosenphoenix

5 жыл бұрын

@@JLConawayII So killing someone who didn't actually commit that crime is justice?

@legendp2011

5 жыл бұрын

I guess we know the real "Fondle my Sweaters" now

One of my favorites. Ralph’s delivery and switching back and forth in attitude was hilarious. Also, syphilis, Tao? My god…

There should be a TV show "Everybody hates -Chris- Tao"

I'm loving these new cast members! Can't wait to see more of 'em :)

@dropout

5 жыл бұрын

Eh...they're alright (j/k they are knockin' our dang socks off)

@elijahculper5522

5 жыл бұрын

Josh Quimby I’m not sure. That Tao fellow seems like a monster. I mean, who betrays their own father and ruins their best friend’s wedding?

@LeoSharinPRODUCTIONS

5 жыл бұрын

I miss the old 2015 CH Crew! Those guys were way funnier!

Raphael:Tao this is the drunk driver that killed your sister Tao: Wendy!??! How did you know Raphael: We googled it HAAAHAHAHAHA

@dropout

5 жыл бұрын

hahah

@denispasilan6788

5 жыл бұрын

@@dropout yea lol I LUV YOU GUYS

@jaschabull2365

5 жыл бұрын

Wendy's ghost: What am I, a joke to you?

Welcome to the party, Tao! Looking forward to seeing your contributions!

How could you not pick Tom Hanks? Also... literally the best Forrest Gump impersonation I've ever heard.

@joseaguilar4845

5 жыл бұрын

Tom Hanks is a bit old, so maybe he won't want to ride some of the roller coasters.

@vaginalcupcake

5 жыл бұрын

@@joseaguilar4845 oh... Hanks is always down. He's that bitch.

@null3319

5 жыл бұрын

And i mean i love tom hanks dont get me wrong but id love to go to a museam with him but a rollercoaster park he is indeed a bit old

@jermainekngdom3154

5 жыл бұрын

@@null3319 but he is fun old.

@ArturGlass.C

5 жыл бұрын

I think I would choose T Swift just because Katie scares me and I feel like she'd be extremely disappointed if I say Tom Hanks even tho I would rather go with him.

I'm not sure how Tao's questions were hard. I agree with all of his answers though, but I would have questioned the guy before pulling the trigger.

@CIinbox

5 жыл бұрын

That just shows that Tao is more hardcore than you.

@Mananpicar

5 жыл бұрын

nah, i'd help my dad

@andreimoga7813

5 жыл бұрын

You should call your dad from your friend's wedding (which you did not cancel) to help you kill the drunk driver and hide his body where you two previously hid the man killed by your father in a fit of rage.

@EdwardThimbleHands

5 жыл бұрын

@@CIinbox Or that the character he wrote is too slow to think "maybe I should double check before killing a person I've never met". Hardcore and stupid don't have to be the same thing.

@EdwardThimbleHands

5 жыл бұрын

@@Mananpicar Then you had a better person than I did as a father. I don't even talk to him if I can help it, but there is never a universal answer to that question.

Taos first card “THE POOR GROOMS BRIDE IS A-“

@acdsarc11

5 жыл бұрын

I CHIME IN WITH A HAVEN'T YOU PEOPLE EVEN HEARD OF

@teresaboze69

4 жыл бұрын

... i write sins not tragedies...

I love grant just saying to Katie, "I'm also very dry," its the best line in my opinion, and I don't know why.

This applies to anyone who says they hate small talk when meeting someone new. So we just jump into deep talk? We barely know each other. Small talk is almost always the first step to friendship.

@iambicpentakill

4 ай бұрын

Everyone's brains work differently, and that's okay

“Wendy? Wha- How do you guys know about that?” “We googled it, anyway-“

honestly, these would be great icebreakers. it would get a convo started really quick and keep people interested

I got a vibe of SAW. Anyways, welcome to the club

@CyanSandwich

5 жыл бұрын

Saw III in particular

@gemstone_addict

3 жыл бұрын

... to the club, buddy *smack* (I'm sorry, I'm one year late and it isn't funny, but I had to do this)

Tao chooses to turn in his father, but also chooses to murder. I think Tao may just hate his father.

@GrndAdmiralThrawn

2 жыл бұрын

Tao seems like the kind of guy who would commit the murder, but turn himself in afterward. He can go to prison content in the knowledge that, though he must now face justice for his own crime, his sister’s death has been avenged.

_Syphillis?_ *Really* Tao?? c'mon... I mean honestly... 😡

@wanderlustwarrior

5 жыл бұрын

@Ro0okie Written by...

@ratboy7118

3 жыл бұрын

Funnier now knowing Grant Anthony O'Brien has had syphilis twice

Raph's acting has gotten really good, i used to think it was somewhat mediocre but he's really improved.

Lilys face when tao was given the gun priceless

Hello! You've caught me watching a college humour sketch. [Anecdote] [Metal Gear reference] Here's seven games that are made entirely of sketch comedy!

Welcome to collegehumor :) *pulls out extreme teambuilding exercises* (Thanks for the heart, can't wait for more pat saga)

@komlat253

5 жыл бұрын

Oh u slapped me in the ass from the past . (Blushes) ☺☺☺☺

@tuhinsaha3015

5 жыл бұрын

what heart lmao

@Troselingasher

5 жыл бұрын

@@tuhinsaha3015 hmm i guess editing comments removes hearts...rip

@Tigerkem

5 жыл бұрын

Never edit a comment that's been hearted. You're better replying to your comment.

@Troselingasher

5 жыл бұрын

@@Tigerkem yeah I see that now...*spiderman crying in the shower emoji*

I like the fact that the in the bunting saying "welcome new cast", the Ms are upside down Ws, and the Ws are upside down Ms

@ChrisTay229

5 ай бұрын

Somewhere a set decorator saw your comment and punched the air in vindication

very good sound editing! the music when tao was holding the gun was very good. great job!

Do we actually have to send you guys a bag of catnip, or...?

@dropout

5 жыл бұрын

yes plz overnight

@null3319

5 жыл бұрын

@@dropout hmm consider it done expect it within a month or so (there wont be any catnip and it might just be dutch weed and there might be a sketchy guy coming to the front desk asking if he was send catnip)

I've never felt like rewatching a CH video before, but this was that good.

This is one of favourite CH sketches.

Who would help their father bury a body?!!?! There are much better ways to dispose of a corpse.

@AutisticSoyDaddy

5 жыл бұрын

Hey, Jeffy Dahmer was your role model, too? Twinses! Good Lord, that was dark. I think we both need some serious therapy.

@JayQwery

5 жыл бұрын

pigs

@AutisticSoyDaddy

5 жыл бұрын

@@JayQwery Are you referring to me and Infamous Hero, or suggesting another method of disposing of a corpse? I'm fine either way.

It's sketches like this one that make me want to believe all of this is actually really happening in the worlds most twisted reality show disguised as comedy.

Damn! This was written By Tao Yang himself. Love it!

This was the best one in a while holy shit!

This is the best non-Brennan sketch you guys have done for a while! Great job, looking forward to new stuff from Tao and Lily.

3:19 Well,at least we know that Taio is a real Slav

this was probably one of the best one

This is officially one of my favorites!!!

Welcome to CollegeHumor Lily and Tao! I hope you two find lots of success here! Im excited to see what you guys bring to the team!

"Wendy?! How do you guys know about that?!" "We googled it."

This was so dark and yet so funny. Good job Tao, you freak.

I love how Katie looked so gleeful and was playing with her hat at the end she's just so much fun and raf was so delightfully grim dark!

The channel became better with every year and you all the new guys are perfectly fusing in and uplifting this channel; love the dark stuff. Cheers.and

That got REALLY dark at 2:33 ... and I LOVED IT.

"WHAT A FREAK *HA* ! **Voice cracking** Hwhaut A fReAK! " 😂😂😂

This was one of their best skits a while. Well done everyone.

Great start! One of the best on CH.

WELCOME TO COLLEGE HUMOR 💙❤️💙❤️i love yall already

"Writer - Tao Yang" Yeah, we're fan already.

NEW CAST!!!! Excited for both of you!

One of the best sketches in a while

This shit was deep I love it

2:23 Well snow wouldn't be as beautiful if it had been other color

I would love these questions, this seems fun

Feels really good to see Tao be both hilarious on screen and then scroll down to see he wrote this too :D Good job m8 - hope to see more of your sketches cuz this is the first one in a while that made me actually LOL

Ah jeez, Tao’s question makes my inside hurt.

That was great Tao! Did you get the job dropping that sketch idea during your interview? 😂

Great first sketch to introduce Lily and Tao! Loved this one

Best sketch I've seen in ages!!

I'm more annoyed by the responses to Tao's answers than his questions, lol.

@l.starcke5063

5 жыл бұрын

Anos Anosn Hey, he insulted fun ice breakers.

Thank You, Dropout! I saw this earlier on it! Nice Sketch, CollegeHumor!

@dropout

5 жыл бұрын

THANK YOU!!!

@deeznuts2033

5 жыл бұрын

No problem, you guys rock!

This was such a great video!!

Wellcome to the cast guys!

Lol theres so many actors that work at College Humour (like the people sitting in the chairs at the back) that never get formal introductions. Are they just like contract workers or something? 😐😯😗

@thotung34

5 жыл бұрын

Mike Schauhbach is the guy on the left. He did a skit about poop online if I remember correctly featuring the cast of college humor pre 2014. He's been there a while. Icky Kitty Poop is what you should search for

@creativefortress

5 жыл бұрын

Some people might be staff: editors, supervisors, cameras, producers, etc. If they are around and can play as extras, then welcome!

But why were the questions for Tao basically med school interview questions 😭😭

amazing sketch! good work guys

This is lowkey my new favorite skit

i would tell my friend , i would not turn in my dad he most likely had a good reason, and i would pull the trigger

@Erine120

5 жыл бұрын

pearse gallagher they said it was a fit of rage so not self defense which is the only good reason to kill someone

@pearsegallagher106

5 жыл бұрын

@@Erine120 a fit of rage dosent just happen something would have had to have happen first and if that thing was enough to send him into that kinda rage well then it was most likely a good reason

Tao: "Wendy? How do you guys know about that?" Raph: "We googled it..." The answer to ALL answers! lol!

I'd watch a FULL SERIES of these! Love it! Hilarious!

Holy shit this is one of the best skits yet. Happy to see CH isn't getting stale!

Finally some fresh material. I was getting so bored of Grants shit JK love you guys

@dropout

5 жыл бұрын

PHEW

@TheRabbitman3000

5 жыл бұрын

@@dropout it's all love

@CogniVision

5 жыл бұрын

Yeah... That whole crowd looked like they were bored of Grant's SHIT. HAH!!!

@wanderlustwarrior

5 жыл бұрын

But Katie shits more often...

Whats the song that goes from 2:34 up to 3:08?

I am loving the skits recently. I think they are a lot more entertaining now.

This was amazing!

Someone should inform Tao that he's mispronouncing his own name.

@wsk5nwytscnkfsu

5 жыл бұрын

Timorio lol Is he though?

@phoebechan5755

5 жыл бұрын

He can pronounce his name any way he wants

@slim3bubb7e

5 жыл бұрын

he probably told people to pronounce it like that bcs its easier? maybe? even though the actual pronounciation isnt that hard lmao

@bruceh9780

5 жыл бұрын

Often people with names that are unintuitive to english speakers just give up and go with how everyone else says it, rather than have to correct people 300 times a day.

@zyaicob

4 жыл бұрын

Chairman Tao. You're welcome

You know, Tao's questions were way better, more interesting, and I'd rather have those asked to me anyway than more of the BS social butterfly questions. Why can't icebreakers be more like that??

@TheGuardDuck

5 жыл бұрын

@Marco "Not like most girls"?...😕

@Bald_and_Brown

5 жыл бұрын

Marco You sound either 14 or 10

@lauravillegas670

5 жыл бұрын

r/imverysmart

@sydssolanumsamsys

2 жыл бұрын

yeah, really get into the ethical perspectives of the new people

@theleftasscheek3380

Жыл бұрын

I agree

Amazing! Best part about this: "Writer - Tao Yang" I was wondering if new people were gonna be introduced with so much going into dropout.

I love this type of humor! Welcome to the cast!

Holy I think I’m in love with the new female cast member

Snow is great, until you have to drive through it. Then everything gets slushy and dirty and then its cold for a long time.. Ok Nevermind I hate snow >_

@dropout

5 жыл бұрын

fair point

Fantastic sketch Tao! Really excited by the new cast members. I feel represented!

Welcome to Tao and Lily! :) It's always so much fun to see new cast members!