As a former highly sensitive child myself, I realize that teachers might find it hard to differentiate how they talk to students, especially if they have a large class. Some teachers may worry that if they do differentiate, other students might accuse them of bias or favoritism. In either case, I understand that the teacher might find it easier to take the easy way out, and try to talk to all students in the exact same manner. However, if a teacher talks too firmly to all students, the highly sensitive students might feel overwhelmed, or like no matter how hard they try, it's not good enough. Some may even have nightmares, or begin to fear going to that class, because they never know what that teacher us going to go off on them for. On the other hand, if a teacher talks gently to all students, the least emotionally sensitive students in the class might balk at the discipline tactics used, and may even begin to not take the teacher seriously. If a student accuses a teacher of bias or favoritism or says something like, "why do you yell at me, but not at Cody," the teacher can respond by saying something like, "well, Hannah, some students respond best when they are talked to more gently, and other students respond best when they are talked to more sternly. Cody is one of those students who responds better when he is talked to more gently. You are one of those students who responds better when you are talked to more firmly. But I know that I always try to talk to all of my students with the same amount of patience and understanding."

I have always been fairly highly sensitive, even now as an adult. Unfortunately, I am also on the autism spectrum (very little to no delay in verbal communication or cognitive skills). I attended school from the late 90s to early 2010s. While it seemed like many of my teachers at the private school I attended (the majority of elementary and all of middle school) were very understanding of this, many of my teachers at our district's public school (the earliest years of elementary, and all of high school) were not. Now, I understand that some of my teachers might've been concerned about seeming unfair to other students, but why couldn't they have helped other students understand that not everything is fair all the time, and that fairness doesn't mean using the exact same tactics with everybody, but rather, it means using the tactics that each individual person needs in order to be successful? Here is how teachers can explain this to very young children, who might not understand the cost of certain items. Teacher: "Ok, let's imagine that there is a bowl of apple slices right here, and there were enough for each of us to have five (5) apple slices, but Sarah only wanted four (4). Would it be fair if I told her she had to take five (5)?" Students: "yyyyyeeeeessss!" Teacher: "Why would that be fair? Maybe she just isn't as hungry as the rest of us are. Would it be fair if she didn't end up eating all of the slices she took, and everyone else did?" Students: "nnnnnoooooo!" Or this analogy. Teacher; "Imagine if Amy and Kyle each got one present on their birthday, but Amy got a barbie doll, and Jake got a skateboard. They each got one gift, BUUUUUTTTTT, a skateboard is bigger than a barbie doll. So if Amy's gifts were smaller, it might only be fair if she got more gifts." This one might be good for older kids, who do understand that certain items cost more than others. Teacher: "let's imagine that Julee and Dyane each got one gift on their birthday, but Julee got a tablet, and Dyane just got a box of colored pencils. Would THAT be fair?" Students: "yyyyyyeeeeeessssss!" Teacher: "How would that be fair? A tablet costs more than a box of colored pencils." Students: "you're right! It wouldn't be fair!" The teacher can then explain, "so you see, fair doesn't always mean everybody gets treated exactly the same. It means everyone gets what they need to be successful."

I have 8 year old twin girls. Both are very intelligent, creative, outgoing, etc. One is HS, extremely intelligent to the point of wisdom not found in adults. I do have a hard time reminding myself she’s only 8. They switched schools last year and they were in the same classroom (still are this year because only one classroom per grade). Turns out, the HS twin was experiencing “agony” everyday because she was not in the same friend group as her twin and her twin was rejecting her. They are besties at home as rarely fought. I had no idea this relationship trauma was happening at school. There were behavioral issues but mostly with the other twin and we attributed these incidents to transition bumps. There was probably a mix of stuff going on but it took many hours of contemplation, observing, asking questions to get to the bottom of the acting out, regression, aggression and other behavioral issues. Both are being seen by a therapist and the HS is so incredibly happy to have her bestie back at school. We will continue to monitor and coach them to focus on a positive relationship at school and at all times as much as possible. The HS twin is very sensational to pain, touch, smell, noise, and a few other things on the list. I found it interesting and sad that the emotional pain she experienced due to the social issues at school last year she described as “agony.” So, she feels very deeply. My heart hurts that she endured this pain all last year and I was completely ignorant of her experience. I always knew she was a HS child but I’m still learning how this affects her life experiences and figuring out how to help her.

Excellent presentation. Thanks so much for sharing.

Thank you for contributing to the collective 💜💫

Thank you!!!!

Thank you so much for the video! My 4yo is highly sensitive. I used to wonder what was wrong with her that she throws explosive tantrums and gets upset easily, can’t calm down, is so picky etc and she is the best behaved child in the class but falls apart in front of me. I also thought about play therapy. Now I know the answer. Do you know any psychologist in Dallas Texas that’s specialized in this HSP area? I would like to take some parenting classes and learn the best way to help my child grow. She’s very smart and I want to make sure we do the right things for her. Thank you so much!

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Us highly sensitive empathic individuals are people. Not animals. Teachers already stigmatized me for this. So I was beaten at home. Nearly killed for. Already have developmental disorder cause parents weren't higly sensitive. This caused developmental disorder in me. Cptsd also from stigmitaztion from school for this. What happened at home caused ptsd. Worse. Cptsd. Know one knows the effects of cptsd or ptsd on a highly sensitive person. I'm wired directly to my emotions, where the non sensitive isn't. I'm in touch with what's going on with my body. Mentally and physically. I am very aware of what others are feeling because I'm wired with my own emotions. Don't think it's empathy directly. I was not aloud to be myself in the world. Am not today. This is just like racesicm. Culture doesn't support the highly sensitive nature. Specially men. This is my experience in canada. A doctor on the matter zed ? Said canada is the worst place for us. That often anger is the only emotion. Being in that area of the mind is the only area often for the highly sensitive man to express themselves. Socially. This is toxic on the body and exhausting. I can relate to what he said. You guys don't know what your even saying when I hear you. Sorry.