I had my first child at 18. I was devastated. On my way to college and there i was and I persevered. Then when he was 6 and I was 24 I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer on a fluke during a miscarriage when I didn't know I was pregnant. I signed my life away before surgery to remove a cyst(before knowing it was cancer) and woke up with half of my reproductive organs. When we were ready, pregnancy wasn't happening and I just knew it was because of my cancer. Years of fertility treatments, needles, meds, stalking my husband, lol all of it. After our first son was 18 and graduating high school, we found out we were pregnant. Now at 36 with a college bound son we were starting over. Years of trying and it happened. NO FERTILITY treatment at all. Then I turned 40 and found out I was pregnant again. Our first baby girl and she was stillborn at 7 months due to my blood pressure. At 42 her baby brother was born. All 3 of my other babies came after my cancer diagnosis, only with PART of 1 ovary and 1 tube, and while I was "old". Allll without treatments. Nobody can explain it. I am your hope. But you allow yourself to hurt. Me having my 3rd baby boy will NEVER take away the hurt of losing my daughter. I miss her every single day 5 years later. Yes we are blessed to have our families and we've experienced pregnancy and we are where TONS of women wish they could be, but your hurt still hurts. I just want to be your hope. Im 45 now and my husband still want another but pregnancy will never be the same anymore for me because of my stillbirth. But I also decided I don't decide this, God does. Until I go through menopause, we are open to another child. And im old as dirt now!🤣 But I want to be your hope. The biggest of hugs to you. Have your grief day, hell have a grief week! But let me be your hope.

@Cathy-re2eo

Жыл бұрын

Praise God!

@malloryjines5050

Жыл бұрын

What a kind story to share. Thank you for that! And blessings on your family!

@swaggbeast815

Жыл бұрын

This is a beautiful story. I’m so thankful for God’s provision in your life and the blessings you’ve received. I’m so sorry for the loss of your daughter. My mother didn’t suffer from infertility, but she gave birth to my oldest brother when she was 24, then almost 17 years later, she had me at age 41 and then another 6 years later she had my youngest brother at almost 48 years old. We both were born to her when she wasn’t trying or expecting a pregnancy. She calls her “change-of-life” children!

@WiseWoman6

Жыл бұрын

I’m so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful Angel 👼🏻. You are a beautiful walking miracle. God knew you needed those precious baby boys as well. I had my 5th living child when my oldest daughter was 18 and a senior in high school. We started all over as well. We lost one Angel 👼🏻 between our two oldest. That’s a pain I don’t ever want anyone to experience!! It’s literally heartbreaking!! You are in my thoughts and prayers ❤️🙏🏻✝️

@Momof4boys

Жыл бұрын

I'm very sorry. I'm glad you have your other pregnancy's. I just had another baby at 44... out of no where. All boys never a daughter. I love my sons to death but I always thought I would have a daughter.

praying for you so much today Phil & Alex. you hold such a special place in my heart. ❤

@puglover7985

Жыл бұрын

I was gonna mention you. Like: look at Rachelle and Justin. They had less than 1% chance and it still happened. It can happen to you too. Guess they already know your story.

I’m 65 years old and was never pregnant, but God blessed us with a beautiful baby boy through adoption. We had low mobility and I didn’t ovulate. We did everything we could for five extremely hard years. My heart aches for you and everyone going through infertility. Even now, I struggle with feeling like I’m not a real woman. But God made me and He doesn’t make mistakes.

@bethzaidavasquez6794

Жыл бұрын

Hello Cindy, I'm 46 and it makes me so afraid that my time is up, and what makes my situation worse is that my husband is not supportive at all.

@marciawright2600

Жыл бұрын

This is my story except we adopted a boy and a girl. We gave our heart and soul to our kids and our daughter decided she wanted her birth family and has cut us out of her life. I thought infertility was the worst pain, but now I know, that losing a child is even worse. Praying for light and love for all.

@joane.3533

Жыл бұрын

Were you ever able to stop grieving over not being pregnant?

@2listening1

Жыл бұрын

Oh, sweet mama, I am so sorry! Prayers, love and hope for you always. 🙏💛🕯

@smithface8791

Жыл бұрын

@@marciawright2600 🌺💐🌼

“Maybe that could be our story” - that felt so true to me and just perfectly summed up my feelings these past few years trying to have a baby. Thank you for sharing this part of your journey.

It breaks my heart to see Alex like this. Phil you have a heart of gold and you stay so strong for Alex. Praying for your journey 🙏🏼🙏🏼

I really needed this! I am struggling with infertility and Alex is absolutely right, sooo many pregnancy announcements right now. Your channel has really comforted me that I am not alone in this and it’s okay to grieve.

Keeping hope alive is so hard when the struggles are so big. I am still in the empty arms stage. It helps to see you with your kids and seeing you with your struggles. Thank you for sharing it with all of us.

I’m sooo sorry you and Phil are going through this incredibly difficult struggle but you are DEFINITELY helping people with your story . You’ve helped me so much!!! Phil your words are also soo encouraging. I’m a RN who works on a high risk pregnancy unit where I see moms who are on drugs and have babies that they don’t want and don’t realize what blessings they have . So many days I’ve left work heartbroken and feeling like I’m being tortured because I’m going through infertility (we’ve been struggling for 8 years) and would LOVE to be able to do IVF and experience pregnancy but because my insurance doesn’t cover it and the simple fact that we don’t have upwards of $30,000 I’m not able to experience pregnancy…..yet. I trust God and his timing and I know my blessing is on the way . I believe your blessing is also on the way 🙏 whether that be through IVF or naturally conceived , y’all are amazing parents and this is just a stepping stone to your destination !!! Thanks again for sharing your heart and using this platform to help others 🥰

I'm so sorry that you and Phil have to go through these difficulties. Please know that your whole family is on my daily prayer list. God bless you abundantly and stand with you.

Quoting one of my favorite KZreadrs, Mama Doctor Jones - “You did the best you could with the information you had at the time.” Love and positive thoughts to you and your family! Love watching your girls and animals grow up!

@tinydancer7343

Жыл бұрын

Love Mama Doctor Jones!! 🥰

@Tdw60

Жыл бұрын

My cousin had her last baby at 44:) praying for another baby for you guys soon

@shelbykimmel5425

Жыл бұрын

Mama doctor jones is the best. And Natalie Crawford md she is a fertility specialist. Alex and Philip you should make a video with Natalie!

@leannebayford2757

Жыл бұрын

@@tinydancer7343 yes!!!

Grieving with you guys and keeping you in our prayers! Love y’all so much 😘💞

I've been watching your lovely channel for over 3 years and I have to say you both are the strongest godly ppl I know. You guys are going to forever be in my prayers. My husband and I have been trying to have our first baby for over 10 years and I must say it has been a struggle and still is. Watching your channel gives me hope🙏🏾

Concentrate on the blessings you HAVE. Not the story you don’t have. That’s helped me the most. Attitude of gratitude. All day. Every day. Cry yes. Be pissed, yes. God can take that. But bring yourself back to being grateful. You can’t control your story. None of us can. We can only be grateful for the good we are afforded in life. Your girls are beautiful and smart and perfectly complete. Concentrate on them. They deserve that. You deserve that. Philip deserves that. Infertility is a part of your story but it’s not your identity. Remember that.

@alopez9907

Жыл бұрын

Beautifully said 💛

As this starts, just know your Family is on the top of my Prayer list each day, as I'm sure the same as many other Supporters here as well...You are loved ♡

@mtilford

Жыл бұрын

I agree!

@Odieboggs

Жыл бұрын

Amen

@Tomas-major

Жыл бұрын

They have been blessed with three beautiful children. Don’t for get to pray for the millions of people with empty arms or stillbirths and miscarriages.

@jenniferkastenbaum9336

Жыл бұрын

@@Tomas-major Agreed 👍...I know the feeling, all too well, and believe me, those hearts are on my list as well ♡

I know this deep guttural pain well.. Sometimes it’s so hard to not get stuck in the “why”. Because honestly there’s so much I don’t think I’ll ever understand until heaven. When you were talking about how in infertility you have to press on and be proactive even in your pain. Wow..I’ve been feeling that lately but you articulated it so well. If one more person tells me to “just have patience and trust God” I might scream.

Thank you that even amongst your most painful moments you decided to share. So that people understand they are not alone or that we can all feel we all go through pain but we are here as a community to lift eachother through the despairing moments. We love you guys and I know we all will be praying for you. 💜

@neciforapagote4613

Жыл бұрын

don't blame yourself nor anyone , do accept he knows what you have done and he would do ..... so much stress and keeping down emotions might be factor, there is time for everything....stay safe ....

I love how raw you are Alex!! My husband and I are still in the empty arms phase, we’ve been married 8 years and life feels so unfair most days. I don’t think I will ever understand the reason for this but I try my hardest to trust God’s plan and promise for us. We may not understand God’s hand in all things but we can surely trust His heart. Prayers and blessings to you and your beautiful family! ❤️

I found your channel when I was 21/22. I couldn't dream of going through infertility but watching both of your strength through it was inspiring Now I'm 26. I was diagnosed with infertility last year. I have spent so many tears over this. I hated my body for failing me. I was so, so jealous of my friends and family who had no trouble getting pregnant. I just want to be a mom. It's taken a lot of therapy to get to a place of mostly peace. Something will happen someday and I'm so excited for that day to be here I'm sending you some of my peace Alex. Feel better soon

@tmaug1974

Жыл бұрын

Praying for you 🙏

Alex, thank you so much for sharing so much of your journey. I have been a longtime viewer but have never commented. Watching your family has been so encouraging and helpful as I’ve walked through my own infertility and adoption journey. Thank you for putting your story out there. I am so incredibly thankful for you and your family. Praying for you!!

I feel all of this so much! We are in the same boat. Fertility treatments did a number on my body and they are so exhausting, so we are praying for a miracle. I will definitely be praying for your miracle too. Thank you for sharing, I really needed this video this month❤️

yes you can there is hope it can happen, my husbands test was worse then that for swimmers going forward {20,000total} and his motility was a 0 I also have very very low AMH and I'm 14 weeks pregnant

@shellyg5705

Жыл бұрын

Congratulations on your miracle :)

@SparkyJoon

Жыл бұрын

Congratulations!

I had my pregnancy and daughter the same time as you with Cassidy. And now I feel the same way now. I’m dragging my feet to call the fertility clinic after another year of no success. To work up the courage and through the hopelessness is so hard. ❤️

I am sitting here in tears because I am broken hearted with you!! And thank you for encouraging everyone around you even though you feel broken right now. I broke off with church about 3 years ago but I would listen to your sermon any day and that’s kind of what your life is - a lived sermon and I am so grateful to you that you share it with us ❤️

I just want to say that my heart hurts for you and Philip. You both have helped so many of us through the hard times and we want to be here for you. We love you, we hurt for you and will continue to pray for you. ❤️

I found you guys a few years back when searching about adoption. I always had a feeling I would have a hard time conceiving and turns out, I was right. I also knew I was meant to adopt. Your vidoes prepared me for our adoption journey.) It took a year and half until we were chosen by a beautiful teenage birth Mom, named HOPE ( how beautiful is that?). Our little girl is a month younger than your Cassidy. Thank you for sharing your story. Big hugs from another infertile suffering Momma❤️

I’ve been following your infertility journey for years as I go through mine. 2 years ago I was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer and we rushed to save 2 embryos. Last month we finally were at a good point in my health to do my transfer. We found out it failed last Wednesday. It’s tough to be positive and have hope. It’s been hard and putting effort into doing something is difficult. My already broken heart is breaking for you. ❤️

@gaildubas8651

Жыл бұрын

Stage 4?

@isoleizy

Жыл бұрын

@@gaildubas8651 yes I have stage 4 colon cancer.

I am feeling everything you are expressing you feel right now after 3 miscarriages this year. I’ve had 8 total in the last 9 years. Sobbing on the bathroom floor, Hobbies do nothing for me right now, a sliver of happiness maybe, some days all of the emotions, some days completely numb, some days functional and putting the smile on my face, some days smiles arise and stay longer and the eternal hope & joy runs deep. Sending all of the hugs and prayers. 💕

Love you guys. Infertility is so hard and I credit both of you for helping me get through my IVF journey. I'll pray for you. ❤

My heart breaks for you both. No one can ever say they understand because no one else is in your shoes. I do have empathy, however, as I had my own experiences. I'm 74 and was never able to have children. Even with fertility drugs available at the time, it just never happened. The hardest part was the things people said that were very hurtful to me. It still makes me sad. I'm crying for you and hope for only good things for you and your family. Hugs and prayers to you all.

@linnsoltwedel

Жыл бұрын

So sorry to hear that! Sending you love!

@ramintab5793

Жыл бұрын

Joanie 💖🌹

My heart aches when I see your tears and hear how broken you feel. Praying for you. The love you two have for each other is so evident as we see Philip come to be beside you. The girls fighting gave me a giggle, so real. Having life around me has helped me keep going through some heartaches. I'm so glad you have such a beautiful life to get up to every day even though the struggle is very real. ❤️

Thank you for sharing :) I've been following you for 5 years throughout our ongoing journey of male infertility and your videos are such a comfort to me. Thank you

I love that you are sharing your entire story with people who need to hear it. It helps them and it helps you, too. Keep faith and know that God will bless you with another little one in His own way and time. It may not be how you planned it, but it will be just as special when it happens. There is always hope.

Thank you for being so open and vulnerable with us. I will include you both in my prayers tonight. 🙏🏻 The Lord is great. Always hope. Always Love, you are a inspiration to your community and friends I’m sure. Love to you and yours. ❤️

You are so strong, I’m so sorry you’re going through this xx

This breaks my heart. The content you share is such a great tool to help others out there. Although you go through so much you show others that even through the down times there is still hope. Thank you for all you and your family do to help others out. Have you ever thought about embryo adoption?

I found your channel about 5 years ago when we started our first round of IVF and I have followed your journey since. After 7 years of trying, three full rounds of IVF that never progressed any further past egg collection, a natural pregnancy that ended in miscarriage last March and another miracle pregnancy early this year, I am 36wks pregnant and due to meet our miracle baby in a few weeks. I never thought it would happen, I never thought I'd be a mum... if I only get to be a mum to one baby I will be incredibly greatful, even though I want a whole hoard! I hope that your dreams come true for another miracle baby, I hate that so many people struggle with infertility. Keep breathing and keep being hopeful xx

@fertilityjournals

Жыл бұрын

Congratulations 🎉 Love your story.

Everyone's experience is different, you have the right to feel disappointed and grieve. Your journey and your pain is your own. Sending love and healing your way xo

In the middle of my second chemical pregnancy this year. Trying for baby #3. My heart is with you. I understand that some days and seasons are tougher than others.

@tmaug1974

Жыл бұрын

Praying for you! 🙏

My heart is hurting so much for your beautiful family. I admire you for allowing you to feel your feelings and also looking for positives and being hopeful. Sending you all love.

You are so sweet 🥲. I love how you support each other. Your journey is ours. There is so much wisdom given even as you learn. The road is still unwinding for you all. Bless you both for sharing. 💕

I’m so sorry Alex. I remember being there and even though your story is different, the pain is still there and relevant. I remember doing the “time math” b/c I wanted 3 or 4 kids and every month that I wasn’t pregnant I had to redo the math. I had my twins at 36 (IVF) and my last at 38. I want to say don’t let your age get to you, but that’s not the real world. I wish I could hug you b/c the pain is so powerful. I am praying for clarity, peace and discernment.

Alex all of your feelings are valid! Just because you have your girls and you’ve been pregnant once doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to be sad at the thought of not experiencing it again or growing your family the way you thought you would. You are very brave and my thoughts are with u xx

Thank you for acknowledging those still in the empty arms phase! Thinking of you Alex, infertility is truly heartbreaking 💔

Thank you for being brave and sharing. Your family isn't complete yet, of course you're thankful for the kids you have now but a puzzle isn't complete without all of the belonging pieces. We will all rejoice with you when your next family member joins!! Your story inspires and gives families hope.

Thinking of you Alex. My husband and I were unsuccessful in our infertility journey. I want to share what my auntie shared with me when I was down and out during my struggles , she said , rest assured that one day you will be able to look back and be ok with what god has given you. It took me 11 years of infertility to be at the point where I was able to accept my life journey. That for me included being able to recognize my blessings, moving forward and enjoying gods plans. You too Alex one day will be at a point where you will feel happy and accept the path god gives you. Thinking of you all.

@fertilityjournals

Жыл бұрын

Brookemcc, you are amazing!

Oh no Alex; I’m afraid to see this vlog!! I will be keeping you in prayer! 🙏🏽 Alex, I understand; my 1st pregnancy I carried to 5 months; they were twin girls. I lost them both, then I wanted a baby so bad & it took 2 years & I was blessed with a girl. I thought that was it but 18 years later at the age of 40 I was blessed with another little girl. I understand that is hard to stay positive!! I am sorry you guys are going through this. 💕💕

It truly is a gift, staying positive through hardship. Well said Alex. So grateful that you have Phillip. My partner is a man of few words, who never learned how to deal with emotion. He has tried throughout the last ten years, but it’s still hard.

Praying for you all and for some comfort in this hard time! Thank you for sharing your story. We are currently in the empty arm season of our lives and this hits so close to home for us. I hope and pray you get some positive news at 6 month check!!

Hey Alex, you have been a true inspiration. I wanted to let you know your LH test videos have helped me find out I double surge, and have directly impacted me trying to get pregnant without you I wouldn’t have known. I’m not pregnant yet but your helping me get there. 💜

Sweet Alex I just want to reach through the screen and give you a hug 💜 Your pain in this video is one I know well. My husband's semen analysis' have yielded much the same type of results as Phillip's. I also have PCOS so that made getting pregnant just next to impossible. My story was one where we couldn't do IVF and so we have our children through adoption. Since I'm turning 40 in four days I have made peace with the fact that I'll never have that joy. It doesn't make the hurt any less though. I love you guys and your sweet family-I truly do understand love. Give yourself grace and walk YOUR journey. Whatever that journey looks like honey is yours and Phillip's and how you navigate it is your way and you don't owe anyone an explanation. You all are in my prayers. I know I'm a stranger on the internet but reach out if you need anything. Much love to you, Phillip and the girls 💜

I’m so glad I found your videos almost 5 years ago when I was about to go through IVF! I love how you share your emotions. I cry with you because I’ve gone through infertility and still do. I had one natural pregnancy in 2013 that ended in an early miscarriage. Then tried IVF the beginning of 2018 that also ended in an early miscarriage. I was devastated both times. I’m in my 40s now and we adopted 3 kids from foster care over 3 years ago. Even though we have these kids, it still hurts that I couldn’t have my own. So I know where you’re coming from (that even though you already have kids, you want more and it’s really hard). Thank you for sharing!

@fertilityjournals

Жыл бұрын

Heartfelt! I loved your comment because it speaks of the desire to have your own and there is nothing wrong with that.

Thank you so much for sharing! I can relate to this so much! My fiancé and I are struggling with male factor infertility and we are currently going through our first round of Ivf, praying it works because we can’t afford multiple rounds, praying for you guys!!

Alex, I just wanted to reach through and give you a big hug. You are strong and Philip is amazing! I sat and cried right along with you. Your words and actions are so encouraging. Wonderfully said Philip. I wasn't surprised to hear that Kinsley was concerned about your Alex, she is a very loving and empathic soul. Alex one observation I made while you were speaking was the passion you have in your eyes and your soul when you speak about medical terminology and situations. Aside from the garden, your babies etc I still feel in my heart of hearts that you will be able to grow your family and there is "time". You are only 35 and you both are such amazing parents. Maybe you should go back to your old IVF doctor....you both have amazing parents that I'm sure they would jump in and watch those girls while you travel back. Philip your words helped me intensely. I was blessed with 3 amazing daughters naturally and am very proud of them, but other than IVF, I am going through it and appreciate you. xo Stay strong Alex, you have a great man there and wonderful families. You Will Have More Children! I know it. God works in mysterious ways. Love you xo

I'm so sorry Alex that you're going through this. It's really though! We also did IVF and dealt with both sides of fertility issues (same as you on the male side, it's a varicose vein). We had the opportunity to see one of the best urologist in US and just want to bring forward some positivity if you ever will try the IVF path again: - even though the surgeryhas not fully addressed all the issues, a big "unseen factor" is the chromosome part of the sperm. With the varicose vein, there is a high change that a high percentage of the sperm is impacted and it's DNA is not normal. This can really affect the fertilisation and normal embryos rate in IVF. The surgery, does help with fixing this. You can get a DNA Fragmentation Test on the sperm to look at this number. - a big thing that is about 300$ and was recommended by our urologist and thing that it really made a difference in our IVF rates (beyond any expecations at all the steps up to normal embryos) is using the Zymot chip. This helps filtering the sperm to be used to fertilize the egg. Basically the sperm picked up has the best changes of being healthy and have normal DNA. There's many folks in the `infertily` reddit that used this and they've seen major improvements in their rates from one IVF cycle to another. It's hard to be in the place... this whole journey is one of the hardest roller costers in life... I'm more than happy to give you more info or answer any question or connect you with more people that used the Zymot chip, feel free to DM me if I can help you in any way

Can I just say Phil is a fantastic motivational speaker!! You are lucky to have such a good man by your side Alex. Sending you healing prayers and positive vibes ❤

You are grieving so well. Your pain is known and seen and your grief is honored. Praying for you and your family as you move forward. ❤️

This hits home. After having one child, I spent 10 yrs with failed cycles, IVF, Donor, and even failed adoption and multiple miscarriages. I often wonder if I tried too hard, when the universe consistently worked against my family. In the end, we got off the treadmill and live life as a family of 3. It is still hard, all these years later. I like to think that my experiences weren’t wasted. I pray for you and your family that your advocacy with others is your grief transformed. ❤

@rachelcooper9321

Жыл бұрын

Me too. 47 now and still hoping. When does the yearning go away!!! 🥹

@kalenabobena

Жыл бұрын

I just got off the treadmill myself. I feel painfully free.

I’m in a similar situation, me and my hubby just took a 2 year break from treatments and i just passed my mock cycle to do a donor embryo adoption! Idk if y’all have thought about that but look into it. You’ve always helped me when I’m down and I know you can get through this stronger than before!

Oh, Alex ❤❤ my heart breaks for you & I wish there was a way to help ease the pain. You & Phil are so incredibly inspiring, gracious, & genuine. I'm sending so many prayers of comfort, love & hope for your family & your journey - we all love you guys so much & I have faith that something great is right around the corner! 💕

Oh Alex my heart breaks for you and your struggles. You’re such an amazing momma. Allow yourself to process. Allow yourself to grieve. It’s healthy. Don’t let yourself lose your faith. Miracles happen everyday and I pray your miracle comes soon

I found your channel because I have endo and my husband only had an extreme low count of 200,000. The infertility doctor said to my face, it was impossible. We have our son after the "impossible." I love your honesty, it's hard to be on this journey, God gets us through. But some days it's just dang hard. Grieve, as crazy as it sounds, after 2 miracle babies, we want to keep growing our family. Some people say be grateful for your 2 🙄 it's not that simple. Thank you for sharing 🙏🏼

I feel this in a different way. I don’t struggle with infertility, but with financial struggles and now age as a barrier, having a second kid just doesn’t seem like it’s possible. I feel devastated and so guilty sometimes that I can’t give my son a brother or sister. I honestly feel like a failure as a mom. Why is this my story? I don’t know. But thank you for sharing your story. It helps to see we’re not alone and that even though the struggle is different, the pain is very similar.

@kristenkerrr

Жыл бұрын

I'm so sorry... Things will get better 🙏

@tinydancer7343

Жыл бұрын

Oh my stars (as Alex would say), you told my story too. My special needs daughter is 15 and lonely. When we decided to “try again”, I was 38. Never happened. Thank you for sharing and please know you are not alone. I’m crying writing this because your honesty and your beautiful vulnerability rings so true for me. Hang in there, Warrior Mama. 🥹

@tiffandfam7466

Жыл бұрын

Praying for you 🙏

@rubyrose20159

Жыл бұрын

@@tinydancer7343 Thank you! Praying for you as well 💜

You need so much courage to have hope. It’s not easy to have hope, it even hurts sometimes to have hope. You are so brave Alex. Thank you for sharing.

Thank you Alex and Phillip, too for sharing your heart's. I did not go through infertility, although my my Mom had a lot of trouble maintaining a pregnancy to full term. I was the youngest & she was 44, in 1961 when I was born. My heart goes out to you both. I have depression & you have helped me today. By caring about other's we learn to put things into better perspective. Phillip you have that gift of sharing the Lord!!!! I will have my husband listen to you, again today. I am praying for you now, I have Hope, & I believe, you will have another child.

I don’t know how to explain it but I feel like from a young age I knew that starting a family wasn’t going to be easy. I started watching your channel and following your family before I even met my husband. We are now 2 years into trying and I want to say that you gave me strength to take action when no one would listen. I think from watching your story I know that I will be a mom someday and it may look different and be a harder journey than those around me but I know it will be worth it all once we get there. Sending you love and light in this season.

@bluemoonspring8125

Жыл бұрын

I know the feeling all too well, you will be a more appreciative mom one day, you will love better, And i believe you will be a mom soon. I went thru all of of those feelings and it's not not nice, but its what you truly believe to be true.. Trust and believe,,,, you will be a mom soon, very soon,

@ga6589

Жыл бұрын

@@bluemoonspring8125 Telling someone to simply "trust and believe" is not helpful, IMO. It suggests that If infertility is never resolved, it's because that person wasn't faithful enough.

My heart hurts for Phillip... he can't produce and has to watch Alex cry over it. I hope he doesn't get depressed caring that on his shoulders. Think of his pain that's talked about often. Adopt a embryo I'm sure there's people that donate those.

@kathesumrill9083

Жыл бұрын

I agree. Phillip must be feeling terrible seeing the pain Alex is going thru.

as a mother of 5 and now many grandchildren my heart breaks for you guys. Right now my family is going throuh so much heart ache in different ways. But still heart ache. I have been so focused on our problems I feel led to just hand over my problems to God and put YOUR family and future family top of my prayers list. I love you 2, I love those girls, and I love those babies we haven't met yet.

i’m so sorry you guys, this was incredibly heartbreaking to watch. i’ll be praying for you ❤️

I hope Phillip is handling all this ok, hopefully he’s not feeling like it’s his fault. I wouldn’t want him to get depressed

I waited 22 years for our second and last child. Doctors said no, God said yes. I'm so sorry this journey has been so hard. Phil you've been so strong through this too. Praying you're doing okay too. This video reminded me of those days I cried when I didn't think it was fair and just emotionally overwhelmed. We prayed, our church prayed for several years. It wasn't until I was 40 and I said Ok God I'm getting older.. if you think I can handle another child let it be so. If not, then I'll be okay too. A month after that, I found out we conceived naturally. Had a healthy pregnancy. My oldest son is 27, My youngest son started kindergarten this week. 1 Thess. 5:16-18 ❤🙏

@sarah29880

Жыл бұрын

Congrats on your second! What a miracle baby 💕💕💕👏🏻

@commonsense6967

Жыл бұрын

I love your story with a happy ending! My DIL and son just had their first baby a few weeks ago, after 9 years of marriage and suddenly realizing they almost forgot to have kids, lol, in their early forties. You just never know what surprises life may bring, nor the timing.

@mykeshiawaugh6471

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for your story it gives me hope

@sarah29880

Жыл бұрын

@@mykeshiawaugh6471 how long have you been TTC?

@mykeshiawaugh6471

Жыл бұрын

@@sarah29880 5 yrs

I love the videos when Phil speaks from the heart. He’s such an insightful person. I really hope you guys are able to do conferences on the future. Life. Changing.

Just like the day I was fortunate enough to meet y'all at Walmart and you prayed over my family, I lift prayers for your journey 🙏 Faith, Hope and Love 💕

My heart feels for you Alex😢. I see my precious daughter having these feelings. She’s 38, she’s still “waiting” for a good, loving, kind, trustworthy husband. She’s wanted to be married and to be a mommy for so long, but neither have happened for her. She has seen ALL of her friends find their “person” and be able to be mommies and it’s painful for her. She keeps praying and we keep praying for these life experiences for her. It hurts our hearts so very much seeing her pain. It hurts when she looks at me and says “Mom what’s wrong with me, why don’t I get my family?”. My momma heart hurts😢😢

@Cathy-re2eo

Жыл бұрын

I have a 34 whose greatest desire besides Jesus is to be a wife and mommy! She wants a husband who loves God and follows Him! She hasn’t found him! It is hard waiting!

@lisamcgrath3132

Жыл бұрын

@@Cathy-re2eo Yes, that’s my daughter!

@MagicalSoulMindStorm

Жыл бұрын

She may want look into adoption or single motherhood by choice. I too waited for a long time as I wanted to naturally have a soul mate, but that other person didn’t show up and the clock keeps ticking. I’m a mother now solo and very happy. 🙂

@scmom1984

Жыл бұрын

I decided to make my own family. I got tired of waiting. Tell her to go get what she wants

@MShsGD

Жыл бұрын

@Lisa and @Cathy I understand where they are coming from. I’m in my 30’s as well and still waiting. It’s like you’re grieving a loss of the life you thought you would have by now. Praying for both of your daughters while they are in the waiting season.

Oh Alex I just wish I could hug you right now! ❤️

Thanks for being a vulnerable voice for so many. I wish you didn’t have to be, but I’m so grateful for you guys. ❤️❤️❤️

Prayers for y’all! Your day(s) will come! I cannot say I know how you feel, however, I have watched your struggle for years and can completely understand your heavy hearts. You guys have big hearts and have enough heart to share with as many as the Lord will grant you. You are amazing and remember God has a plan.

I have been watching your channel off and on since you adopted Kinsley. I am sorry for the hand you have been dealt. You have 3 beautiful girls. You have experienced pregnancy and childbirth. Instead of obsessing over what you do not have, why don't you turn your energy to being thankful for what you do have? My daughter was told by 3 different doctors that she would never be able to have children. God blessed her and she gave birth to a beautiful baby boy 2 years ago. We all thank God for him. We are content.

@Sabouma28

Жыл бұрын

They are very thankful for the children they do have... doesn't mean they aren't allowed to feel what they feel....

Please look into Embryo Adoption through the National Embryo Donation Center. There you can adopt multiple embryos and transfer up until your 46th birthday. We suffered from 13 1/2 years of infertility and our prayers were finally answered through EA. Feel free to message me with any questions you may have!

@samueldawnvillagrana9389

Жыл бұрын

They are located in Knoxville, TN

@countryway1970

Жыл бұрын

I agree seems like it would be an amazing fit for them ❤️ praying

You're definitely not alone. I was in a similar timeline w you back in February with my second IVF transfer and was extremely hopeful that in November we'll see our first child. 33 Bare arms here and 6 years of infertility, I was completely devastated. Endo warrior as well but I'm tired of being a "warrior, resilient" I stepped away, from treatment as well but always have infertility in my mind. It's always there. The emotions, raw but soooo relatable. Sending you strength and love 🤍💛🧡

Much love and prayers for you both 🥺💗 I am reminded of the hope from Rachelle and Justin's story. I will be believing God for you guys, for a similar miracle! When you struggle to have hope, we will help carry you through with prayer and hope ❤️

Take heart, your feelings are valid! It is freaking hard! I love how you work toward healing and progression! A way will be provided for you to grow your family! ❤️

I am praying for y'all! Question: Because y'all are open to adoption and Alex wants to be pregnant, would you be open to adopting embryos? I know using a different sperm donor may not sit well, but possibly adopting some embryos could be an option.

@andrea-rq1fe

Жыл бұрын

I have a friend that just gave birth to her snowflake baby (as they call it when you adopt an embryo). They now have a beautiful baby boy after years of infertility

@Reddington073

Жыл бұрын

I thought of this myself ..wouldn’t be an unreasonable idea? She’s open to adoption yet also desires to be pregnant again…it could be something to think about ? Great minds think alike! ❤️

@Reddington073

Жыл бұрын

I had thought sperm donation or embryo ?

@kristenkerrr

Жыл бұрын

@@Reddington073 sperm donation would be nice

@tinydancer7343

Жыл бұрын

I’ve never heard about this!! Amazing! Interested to see if they would be open to it. Like an adoption with benefits? 😉🤷🏻‍♀️💜

You’ve both helped so many people along the way, it’s so so difficult 💔 but I know you’ll get there x

I love watching your channel and I love you guys! It's sad to hear about the news results you got! I had a miscarriage 23 months ago today and been trying since then to get pregnant. It's no fun to go through that but I believe things happen for a reason. I'll be praying for you guys and I hope things do get better and have better results the next time around! Idk what God has in store for us but I trust and believe that he's in control and that is my hope until then. It has been so hard and very difficult time, but we have to stay strong and pray for a miracle! 🙏❤️ God Bless you Always.

God can do miracles. It will work out just the way is supposed to, and be even better than you thought possible. Love you and your family ❤️🙏🏻

I hurt with you. I was diagnosed with endosalpingiosis last year and had a surgery to hopefully eradicate it; Well, in February I was rushed into a very scary emergency surgery for an ectopic pregnancy and tubal rupture; During that surgery, they discovered that my pelvis is so adhered everywhere and my remaining tube is so agglutinated that it's deemed "non-functional". 5 years of infertility, no babies. I still find myself in denial thinking that it might happen. That just MAYBE we could have a miracle. MAYBE this month could be it. Month after month. Then I remember that it's nearly impossible. His results are fantastic, and all of my other tests and procedures in the last 5 years have looked great, so accepting that I simply don't have fallopian tubes and it can't happen for us naturally is agonizing. We can't afford IVF and we have no coverage (my husband is a small business owner and I'm disabled so I don't work), and the ache you're feeling resonates with me so deeply. My heart hurts with you. So much. I wish I could offer you more comfort but all I have is solidarity and love. I'm sending an abundance of it your way.♡

@pjengland286

Жыл бұрын

I’m so sorry 💔

My life and desires are so much different from yours, and I can't even imagine wanting to have a child, but you guys teach me so much about loving people and considering their wants and hopes... thank you for that!

Seven years, 3 IUIs, surgery and tests, 5 euploid embryo transfers, 1 spontaneous pregnancy, and 2 miscarriages layer we still have empty arms. When you said “The wait, the wait, the wait” I heard myself in your voice. I’m so tired of waiting and watching so many have their babies and grow their families, some with ease and some with intervention. And now we wait as adoptive parents. And wonder how long that wait will be. Please keep praying for us with empty arms. I’m praying for you too ❤️

Hearing your children in the background playing and being happy is HOPE! Look what you have accomplished having three beautiful girls! Know that there is a reason for this journey! Maybe your life as far as planing for your children is not only for you guys to have children but more to give hope to others that have never had the chance to be parents! Enjoy your family and the wonderful life you have!

@mcgowanmoments2940

Жыл бұрын

I know this comment is shared with good intent but there is a lot of guilt that parents feel when experiencing secondary infertility, you are so grateful for your kids but that doesn't take away the dream and wish of having more children and when people tell you to be happy with the family you have it feels very hard to hear. I share that in hopes that you can understand that telling someone to enjoy their family can be hurtful.

@andreahughes1

Жыл бұрын

@@mcgowanmoments2940 I have thought about that as well! Still, if you are not careful you lose what’s in front of you! Being people of faith, I am sure they know that everything happens for a reason. There is a reason and a season for everything. All I am saying is be great full for what you have and concentrate on that and less on the things you can not change! Many women would give everything to carry a baby just once but never get that chance. I feel for them specially!

So many comments here saying “I’m sorry you are hurting but be grateful.” Stop telling someone else how to feel. Clearly, they are grateful. They love their beautiful family. That doesn’t take away the pain of the helplessness of infertility, of this moment of hope being built up then crushed, of the immense effort and road of heartbreaks it has taken to build their family. They are so compassionate and empathetic to every person experiencing this pain, no matter where those people are at in their journey. We can do the same for them. We’re holding space for your grief in this time, Alex and Phil. So many are praying for a miracle for you, and even if it never happens, we are praying for the grace of God in your pain. Thank you for continuing to share your journey even with all the negative comments thrown at you.

Thank you for being raw and real with your life especially after the negativity of what you have encountered. You are inspirational in hope in love in life and in Faith. I love your family and you are all in my prayers. I just wish I could hug you both. Sending only love, respect, and prayers your way to bring you peace joy laughter and love.

Alex and Phil, you have 3 beautiful girls, you have a beautiful life but oh my days the grief of infertility hits hard! 😢 My husband and I absolutely hate walking the infertility journey that we have been on for 4 years now, we still have empty arms but watching you gives us hope for our future family. God is fighting for you, you need only be still. That doesn’t mean to be stagnant but to take time and just rest in Him as you move forward in your journey. Praying for you all 💛

Some people never have any Cassidy is a miracle you are so blessed

@alexandramoyer8785

Жыл бұрын

Exactly

@KH-sx1xv

Жыл бұрын

Agree... and I say that with Love. Let go and Let God. Lots and lots of love and prayers to your family. xxxx

@dianebay6879

Жыл бұрын

I agree. So blessed to be able to adopt also. Not everyone can afford that or treatments. They never get the chance to be parents.

@Joy-zf6cs

Жыл бұрын

I find it disturbing that she can’t appreciate the family she has when so many can’t even afford fertility treatment or adoption. She’s had both. No one gets all they want in life. Appreciate what you have

@mindyvanhorn3199

Жыл бұрын

That doesn't make her sadness any less valid. Even though your comment was meant to be positive, when you are walking through it, it's freaking hard, both she and Philip have said how grateful they are for their 3 girls.

I am sure this is very difficult for your family. Wanting something you can't have us so hard. Maybe it's time to focus on what you do have. So many people l e with infertility don't have children. You have three gorgeous girls, a strong marriage, a supportive extended family, a lovely little farm, you are so blessed. Enjoy the blessings in front of you, as a parent to only one child due to endometriosis your time with the children you already have. Before you know it they will be grown. No more tea parties, home schooling, sloppy kisses, or drawings on the fridge. You don't want to miss what is right in front of you.

@maryjanedavis9033

Жыл бұрын

I’m sure she knows that.

@lillianepperson3410

Жыл бұрын

So well said!

@kathleenclark815

Жыл бұрын

Does she look like she is missing it?? FFS...

Alex, I feel you and I heart you. This journey is of Hope and Faith. The failures hurt real real deep. We went through 12 cycles of IVF. I am praying for you. Please know you are NOT ALONE. Hugs your way 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

It’s ok to feel what you feel precious soul .. we pray over you from Missouri .. you are heard and held from a afar .. your pain is felt .. so much love .. so many prayers for miracles and direction!

Could you adopt a "snowflake" baby so that you could carry your next baby? My friend (age 40) and her husband adopted 3 embryos, 2 survived being defrosted & 1 implanted. Her son is now in 4th grade. Thank you Phillip for the reminder of our Eternal hope at the end of this vlog.

@jackielowrey3032

Жыл бұрын

I’m sure they’ve considered every option obviously

@maryjanedavis9033

Жыл бұрын

@@jackielowrey3032 she didn’t ask if they considered it, she asked if they could or if they want to

You have 3 beautiful children, enjoy them. Enjoy the life you have made.Don’t get stuck in this. Life is good.

Alex, my heart literally breaks for you. I'm praying for a miracle and that God would strengthen you both for this journey. Please don't apologize for your grief and disappointment just because you already have your girls. Your feelings and your heartbreak has nothing to do with the depth of your love for your girls. We know that for sure! I love you guys and stand with you and for you!

Hi Alex! You have an amazing and incredible! My husband and I have been struggling with infertility. We’re in the IUI stage still and have one angel baby. It’s so inspiring to hear you because even though you know this is how everyone with this struggle feels it’s nice to be able to share that emotion like you there have been so many announcements. Others who shared my due date that are in my circle and it’s exhausting to see where I should be. We’re 2 months out from what should have been our delivery date and it’s hard but I know that God will carry us through it. My prayers are with you both and your family. It effects everyone.