Gwyneth Paltrow Stays On-Brand in Quarantine - Lights Out Lo-Fi Monologue (Apr 10, 2020)

Комедия

David Spade offers his takes on the latest news about Disneyland, “The View,” Gwyneth Paltrow and more. (Contains strong language.)
About Lights Out with David Spade:
Specializing in celebrities, entertainment and all things apolitical, comedy legend David Spade and a panel of his comedian friends are at the roundtable and in the field to help break down the biggest headlines of the day.
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Пікірлер: 227

  • @CaliforniaBushman
    @CaliforniaBushman4 жыл бұрын

    David should take his KZread audience and do vlogs like Jason Nash does. He would kill it. Erase the studio middleman, and be his own boss. Shedding the talk show format and the tenticles of censorship. We're still here, David!

  • @nanwilder2853

    @nanwilder2853

    4 жыл бұрын

    Jeffrey A. Smith: Tentacles.

  • @BaronVonBielski

    @BaronVonBielski

    4 жыл бұрын

    Jeffrey A. Smith except Jason Nash makes awful videos. He use to make videos like his skits in David’s vlogs or at least his vlogs had a comedy edge to it, now it’s just boring vlogging.

  • @CaliforniaBushman

    @CaliforniaBushman

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@BaronVonBielski Well... A. He's at about 2.5 million subs B. You've heard about the lockdown? C. He's doing standup tours & small Comedy Central projects off of the vlogs. D. He saves his bits for the other vlogsquad members channels to make you watch them. The bits are still funny. E. Brandon kind of left, but works so well with him.

  • @lisab3706
    @lisab37064 жыл бұрын

    You’re so much funnier to watch sitting with sound effects & goofing around rather than standing up on stage. Thanks David! 🤙 Lightened up my day.

  • @sheefree

    @sheefree

    4 жыл бұрын

    Agree

  • @peachesandcream4897

    @peachesandcream4897

    4 жыл бұрын

    So sick of this overused backhanded compliment to comedians right now. ‘Oh I usually think you suck but thanks for entertaining me at home, you’re so much funnier this way!’

  • @lisab3706

    @lisab3706

    4 жыл бұрын

    I was referring to how he seems more relaxed & like he’s enjoying himself. That makes it more fun to watch. Geez, simmer down.

  • @Antarcticite21
    @Antarcticite214 жыл бұрын

    chocolate royals joke was hilarious, aand the birthday candles lol

  • @vamanosninja4143

    @vamanosninja4143

    4 жыл бұрын

    Lol yes!

  • @-C.S.R
    @-C.S.R4 жыл бұрын

    Only 5 people have Netflix subscriptions. Lol 😂 So true!

  • @LisaLisa001
    @LisaLisa0014 жыл бұрын

    Wait wait that birthday candle one almost killed me. 😂🤣😭🤣😂

  • @melissacallia4230
    @melissacallia42304 жыл бұрын

    “I don’t even get that one” 😂😂😂😂

  • @ZpuninNY
    @ZpuninNY4 жыл бұрын

    I love the most Grindr-able hotel being the bathroom at IHOP.

  • @lynnejoyner2243
    @lynnejoyner22434 жыл бұрын

    I love this man a true fan here god bless

  • @aerynb8738

    @aerynb8738

    4 жыл бұрын

    +1

  • @MarnettaAnn
    @MarnettaAnn4 жыл бұрын

    David Spade is literally the only thing that gets me through the day! He's my very favorite and want to say thank you!

  • @PositiveMommaLife
    @PositiveMommaLife4 жыл бұрын

    You and tiger king is the only thing getting me thru this dayum quarantine!

  • @shelbybrown8312
    @shelbybrown83124 жыл бұрын

    Candles on the birthday cake Was an perfect joke

  • @lonelyone
    @lonelyone4 жыл бұрын

    "Huge feral hogs" coming after the Linda Tripp story was pretty funny. Also, the Meghan chocolate joke, the Fauci height joke and Gwenyth's birthday candles were all killer.

  • @selfdiscardedkingofruin7291
    @selfdiscardedkingofruin72914 жыл бұрын

    Was watching Tommy Boy as this came on🤣. Classic.

  • @dellkell2759
    @dellkell27594 жыл бұрын

    These need to be longer!

  • @dyers1210

    @dyers1210

    4 жыл бұрын

    agreed

  • @jamalmushtaq

    @jamalmushtaq

    4 жыл бұрын

    Shows cancelled now

  • @dyers1210

    @dyers1210

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@jamalmushtaq Not talking about CC we be talking about David just doing this ...right here...what you are watching at this moment.

  • @germx1488
    @germx14884 жыл бұрын

    "I don't even get that one." ...lmao

  • @ludmillagutomo
    @ludmillagutomo4 жыл бұрын

    spade is on fire 😂😂😂

  • @rich3371
    @rich33714 жыл бұрын

    The NFL "throwback Thursday" joke was the best one

  • @katyrawlins804
    @katyrawlins8044 жыл бұрын

    I like the "eating ass is for August" joke best 😂👏

  • @Emily00Strange
    @Emily00Strange4 жыл бұрын

    Jokes I liked: Linda Tripp, Prince Harry Chocolate, & Goop bday candles. To be fair, all the jokes were funny.

  • @punstress
    @punstress4 жыл бұрын

    Gwen's foul birthday candles for the win. Dave having a bad hair day. Aren't hair stylists considered necessary workers in LA?

  • @Ricardoabout
    @Ricardoabout4 жыл бұрын

    For only an additional $99 to your yearly pass, you too can get temperature fast pass 😂 😝

  • @cl759

    @cl759

    4 жыл бұрын

    OUCH, well done 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

  • @matthewbritcher1961
    @matthewbritcher19614 жыл бұрын

    Your monologue is the top of my priority list daily, either huge kudos to you or just sad..... either way without you I can't go on!

  • @CenLAStormSpotters
    @CenLAStormSpotters4 жыл бұрын

    (4:34) "Oh after Megan leaves.., Now you like chocolate." Lol! Best one David! Lol!

  • @xxTokyoTimxx
    @xxTokyoTimxx4 жыл бұрын

    Dude, you’re on fire with the zingers. Sorry about your show. Thanks for continuing to do these despite the setbacks.

  • @MsScarletp
    @MsScarletp4 жыл бұрын

    He looks like Grover from Sesame Street. Still cracks me up.

  • @theJohnGaltLine
    @theJohnGaltLine4 жыл бұрын

    Haha. The birthday candle cake joke was perfect.

  • @carmenthomas7970
    @carmenthomas79704 жыл бұрын

    LOVING THIS❣️👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 THANK YOU SPADE FOR KEEPING ME LAUGHING (2 👍🏻 thumbs up!)

  • @RyanWrightRecruitingNewsGuru
    @RyanWrightRecruitingNewsGuru4 жыл бұрын

    Going for the Jack Torrance look... the hours before the quarantine crack we will all experience at some point.

  • @jennathacker4439
    @jennathacker44394 жыл бұрын

    I took a drink at the wrong time and almost spit it out at "pig-loos".

  • @Czechbound
    @Czechbound4 жыл бұрын

    "After MEGHAN leaves, NOW you like chocolate" ... Ha ha ... CLASSIC !

  • @gamertyper6476
    @gamertyper64764 жыл бұрын

    I am flooded with pure happiness that you are making youtube videos dude, no joke, I grew up watching all your movies and its just so good to my soul to see you still being you, thank you so much man, I hope your podcast blows up. ( you know digitally.... as in a lot of views.... yeah lets cut that bit.... lmao)

  • @LeeLee-cy7jk
    @LeeLee-cy7jk4 жыл бұрын

    You seem to be channeling your inner Johnny Carson today ❤️😜

  • @prayerskool

    @prayerskool

    4 жыл бұрын

    Alesa Smith I know I thought that too! Why is that

  • @John.Skelton
    @John.Skelton4 жыл бұрын

    All the animal noises at the end was hilarious!

  • @darkwingduck3259
    @darkwingduck32594 жыл бұрын

    Congrats on having the best technical quality of these "quarantined" podcasts. When the material gets to be good, you'll have a winner, Davey!

  • @GratefulMeds
    @GratefulMeds4 жыл бұрын

    the motel 6 at the end of Hollywood is were I Stay ever time I'm in LA. lol

  • @patriciaasturias1007
    @patriciaasturias10074 жыл бұрын

    Thanks David, those were laugh out loud.

  • @cherylbarry9063
    @cherylbarry90634 жыл бұрын

    “Pigloos”. Hahahahaha

  • @blackbird5634

    @blackbird5634

    3 жыл бұрын

    my new password for sure! "Pigloos!"

  • @PositiveMommaLife
    @PositiveMommaLife4 жыл бұрын

    Loved the Linda Tripp joke! Lol

  • @Czechbound
    @Czechbound4 жыл бұрын

    "LINDA TRIP condolences have already been secretly taped and will be leaked at a later date" ... HA HA ... GOLD ! :)

  • @LisaLisa001
    @LisaLisa0014 жыл бұрын

    Damn it David I was still laughing at Roger That when you announced a death. I need a joint so I can settle in to this roller coaster.

  • @cbmcfly32
    @cbmcfly324 жыл бұрын

    Why do I appreciate Spade 10x more now than SNL and (sigh, Joe Dirt again) days. ha

  • @thecovingtons8377
    @thecovingtons83774 жыл бұрын

    So have enjoyed these

  • @erinjames4024
    @erinjames40244 жыл бұрын

    Love you David! You are FUN!

  • @dennisfrank686
    @dennisfrank6864 жыл бұрын

    Alright...the Gwyneth joke about the birthday candles truly made me laugh out loud. Nice delivery.

  • @jasonhouston2512
    @jasonhouston25124 жыл бұрын

    Great monologue! You're always killing it. I loved the Millennials Eating Ass joke. Keep on doing your thing. You're the best!

  • @davidt3956
    @davidt39564 жыл бұрын

    I like the offhand "I don't know why that came after Linda Trip...

  • @selfdiscardedkingofruin7291
    @selfdiscardedkingofruin72914 жыл бұрын

    I think I'm in love with Heather and I've only heard her laugh.

  • @LisaLisa001

    @LisaLisa001

    4 жыл бұрын

    Is that her name? I love that giggle too. It's infectious but in a good way!

  • @selfdiscardedkingofruin7291

    @selfdiscardedkingofruin7291

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@LisaLisa001 exactly lol. I've heard David say her name a couple times but I've never seen her.

  • @lonelyone

    @lonelyone

    4 жыл бұрын

    If they never hooked up prior to the quarantine, they must have done it by now.

  • @nathanddrews

    @nathanddrews

    4 жыл бұрын

    You mean Heather Locklear?

  • @selfdiscardedkingofruin7291

    @selfdiscardedkingofruin7291

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@nathanddrews no but they did use to date. I'm referring to the girl who giggles in the background of his videos.

  • @traviswilson3750
    @traviswilson37504 жыл бұрын

    I think you are doing great David. The background is fine, the sound is fine, your hair is fine. Don't worry about everyone telling you what to do. Yeah personally I'd love to see you have David Mitchell on before the show is over but who wouldn't take the opportunity to request one of their favorite comedians? You're doing great! Keep it up!

  • @brittanybpeterson1
    @brittanybpeterson14 жыл бұрын

    I am stoked that you turned the blue lava lamp on. Fingers crossed for purple next monologue!

  • @johnjones2nd667
    @johnjones2nd6674 жыл бұрын

    Ahhhhhahahahahaha throw back Thursdays!!! Brilliant!

  • @LisaLisa001
    @LisaLisa0014 жыл бұрын

    THROWBACK THURSDAY omg 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @tamaracady5035
    @tamaracady50354 жыл бұрын

    NFL throwback Thursday A+. Also loved that little jingle you threw in about the long way for an average joke. Stay gold, pony boy.

  • @AyushmanHemant
    @AyushmanHemant4 жыл бұрын

    Looks like Comedy Central keeps him in a hole and bring him out just for this.

  • @imthegrk

    @imthegrk

    4 жыл бұрын

    “Bring out the Gimp!”

  • @traviswilson3750

    @traviswilson3750

    4 жыл бұрын

    "it puts the Joe Dirt in the hole"

  • @coronaflo

    @coronaflo

    4 жыл бұрын

    He no longer works for them.

  • @traviswilson3750

    @traviswilson3750

    4 жыл бұрын

    He works for them for another week or so.

  • @davidt3956
    @davidt39564 жыл бұрын

    The candles on Paltrow's kid's cake was also great

  • @emv1237
    @emv12374 жыл бұрын

    NFL, throwback Thursday 🤣🤣🤣

  • @jessevoidswarranties8335
    @jessevoidswarranties83354 жыл бұрын

    Love this show.

  • @luc2o
    @luc2o4 жыл бұрын

    Gwyneth Paltrow birthday cake candles the funniest joke today.

  • @mike20sm
    @mike20sm4 жыл бұрын

    Audio needs some work, but I'm glad you're posting regularly

  • @jevans1392
    @jevans13924 жыл бұрын

    This is about me today! 🤣

  • @mollierocket705
    @mollierocket7054 жыл бұрын

    Linda Tripp - hilarious

  • @CenLAStormSpotters
    @CenLAStormSpotters4 жыл бұрын

    I hope comedy central brings this back, but if not..please do your own show on youtube!

  • @APRIL916
    @APRIL9164 жыл бұрын

    Even the plant looks droopy, like it's had enough of this quarantine boredom.🤣

  • @commonsense2886
    @commonsense28864 жыл бұрын

    MR DAVID SPADE i have an idea for a stand up show. Get a couple comics together & perform in a drive in theater. Everyone stays n there car & put a camera on you & put it up on the screen.

  • @michaelcone4775
    @michaelcone47754 жыл бұрын

    Good stuff dude!

  • @Axolotl_Mischief
    @Axolotl_Mischief4 жыл бұрын

    Kids at that birthday party just gave up seafood for life.

  • @robertlisenby7555
    @robertlisenby75554 жыл бұрын

    Hey Dave you need to turn your sound effects machine up we can't hear it😢

  • @wendy5116
    @wendy51164 жыл бұрын

    Damn...all of it brought smiles to my face. Baby, Snark do do dee do dee do 👶🏼 🦈 🤴 ♠️

  • @katrinkabrial4563
    @katrinkabrial45634 жыл бұрын

    Gwyneth’s candles and dr. Faucci - eating ass question were the best jokes.

  • @knowthycell

    @knowthycell

    3 жыл бұрын

    I’m ashamed to say I didn’t get the candle joke. Help a brotha out

  • @silka4670
    @silka467011 ай бұрын

    Loving the Relapse aesthetic

  • @traviswilson3750
    @traviswilson37504 жыл бұрын

    Netflix subscription joke was a little too real

  • @nathanddrews
    @nathanddrews4 жыл бұрын

    Did I catch a Counter-Strike soundbite in there?

  • @cksinc1974
    @cksinc19744 жыл бұрын

    These should be longer.

  • @xedasxedas
    @xedasxedas4 жыл бұрын

    Loved the air strike diversity of firepower.

  • @cbw8761
    @cbw87614 жыл бұрын

    Joey Bananas joke lol for real. So we can watch him and Bobby Coconut lay brodies and roosters in some Myrtle Beach B&B parking lot.

  • @here2watch08
    @here2watch084 жыл бұрын

    Solved mysteries, leaked taped condolences, and comedians living in pig igloos were my fave.

  • @mitubogoogle
    @mitubogoogle4 жыл бұрын

    Gwyneth's birthday cake candles LMAFAO😂😂😂😂😷

  • @msmicheleflores
    @msmicheleflores4 жыл бұрын

    Hilarious Just started this 2 weeks ago.

  • @nadiasoledad6891
    @nadiasoledad68914 жыл бұрын

    David spade te amo

  • @doortech8227
    @doortech82274 жыл бұрын

    Since the show canceled announcement. David appears to have lost all will to live and to entertain. Bring back the interviews Mr Spade. Either keep giving 100% for us fans that still love and respect you, or just give your production company the middle finger and pack it in. You're worth more than this!

  • @TheElliotEquation
    @TheElliotEquation4 жыл бұрын

    Will miss you David it was a good run

  • @richardramos1252
    @richardramos12524 жыл бұрын

    Love it boom !

  • @samanthaenglish1675
    @samanthaenglish16754 жыл бұрын

    David, you rule

  • @juanitawilburn4192
    @juanitawilburn41924 жыл бұрын

    Love the air strike

  • @DaganAmaris
    @DaganAmaris4 жыл бұрын

    the single dog bark makes everything better.

  • @grecco_buckliano
    @grecco_buckliano4 жыл бұрын

    Home made candles on your birthday cake...and your mom is Gwyneth Paltrow. eeeeeeeeeeee

  • @prayerskool
    @prayerskool4 жыл бұрын

    THE SONAR SOUND!!!!

  • @prayerskool

    @prayerskool

    4 жыл бұрын

    Sounded like johnny Carson at times.

  • @trick351
    @trick3514 жыл бұрын

    YAY! Heather is back!!! 😂❤️😂

  • @jimthor806
    @jimthor8064 жыл бұрын

    I use that sound board app on Xbox live lol

  • @chrisksanznak9632
    @chrisksanznak96324 жыл бұрын

    Thanks Dave..You “n” IPAs are gettin me thru this....Spade 2020....

  • @lisacostello3685
    @lisacostello36854 жыл бұрын

    David Spade.. genius.

  • @roymusler3047
    @roymusler30474 жыл бұрын

    you make a dark day bright thank you for still making people laugh in tough time.....if you need any ideas for a movie Joe Dirt VS Joe Exotic....FUCKING Oscar worthy shit man

  • @lilotx3688
    @lilotx36884 жыл бұрын

    Digging your Jack Nicholson hair 😍

  • @mikewallace1270
    @mikewallace12704 жыл бұрын

    Funny stuff!

  • @steveconn
    @steveconn4 жыл бұрын

    Sad that Dave's show is cancelled, but at least he won't be reminiscing about Farley with Sandler endlessly.

  • @davidmccleary5540
    @davidmccleary55404 жыл бұрын

    Birthday candles smelled🤣

  • @grrmtthgrrmtth3000
    @grrmtthgrrmtth30004 жыл бұрын

    Dave giving up on the hair. Lol

  • @gracieosornio9291
    @gracieosornio92914 жыл бұрын

    the gwen paltrow jokes were the best

  • @Suspishhh23
    @Suspishhh234 жыл бұрын

    NFL Throwback Thursday 🤣

  • @LavaLands
    @LavaLands4 жыл бұрын

    How long is it going to take for that beard to fill in . . . love ya Spade!

  • @eddybutternoodles5934
    @eddybutternoodles59344 жыл бұрын

    David the volume

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