"KNIFE-EARED HARLOT!!!!!!!!!" -Said Lion, calmly.

@MR.LMR1996

8 ай бұрын

And then he got audited by the Tax Collectors.

@centurionsword2438

8 ай бұрын

Dumbledore: Is he one of my people?

@zealousdoggo

8 ай бұрын

​@@MR.LMR1996he messed with the wrong tax man and is paying dearly for it

@simonso947

8 ай бұрын

Vulcan just whips out a heavy flamer

@PyronTheDevourer

7 ай бұрын

​@@simonso947he'll whip something out alright

"Bother, what do you want?" *Eldar GF* "A smoothie" *Nooooo* "Two smoothies"

@tokyododot5693

8 ай бұрын

Holy fuck, this is the only time I’ve ever seen someone quote a Matt Post vine.

@phasesaber5040

7 ай бұрын

Can someone explain the joke?

@mahbuddykeith1124

7 ай бұрын

@@phasesaber5040 Demon possessing someone, but they're high so the brain is so zooted that instead of asking for the souls of the innocent, the body instead asks for a bagel.

@chengkuoklee5734

6 ай бұрын

I prefer a big smoothie with 2 straws.

Superhuman Arthur catches Superhuman Caeser with his Elf Cleopatra

@luismarvin9272

8 ай бұрын

Thats.a good one

@antonyschenk4513

7 ай бұрын

I have a solution, make the Eldar a near human xenos species. And give Guilliman a Warrant of Trade.

@dragon44048

7 ай бұрын

⁠​⁠@@antonyschenk4513 no one is able to give Guilliman a warrant of trade. Except maybe the emperor

@khartog01

7 ай бұрын

Perfect analogy.

@writecraft7049

7 ай бұрын

​@@dragon44048 His brothers and a maybe the concil.

Can't believe Lion barges into Girlyman's Ultrahouse™ , breathes his Ultraair™, touched his Ultradoor™ , stood on this Ultrafloor™, looked at his Ultrasmoothie™, asked about his Ultragirlfriend™ that is an Ultraelf™, not give him an Ultrahug™ after he got Ultrakilled™ in the Horus heresy and got Ultrarevived™ by his Ultragirlfriend™

@Midnightfacility

2 ай бұрын

He also walked on his Ultrafloor^tm

@whatsup5914

2 ай бұрын

Took up his ultratime and his ultraconcentration probably damaged his ultrdoor and maybe his ultrabricks gave the ultraevil eye to his ultragirlfriend and most definitely has not paid his ultraimperial taxes Oh yeh forgot TM 2024

@NoxTheZombie

2 ай бұрын

Ultramately

@Stonecold300

Ай бұрын

Ultrakill???????

@daffaramadhan7873

Ай бұрын

How did you get so many tm

Lion you've come 10,000 years late to a shit show that Guilliman has only begun to contain, let him have this.

@KhaosN7

8 ай бұрын

Right? Let the man enjoy a little Eldussy. As a treat. Emperor knows he's probably going to spend the better part of the next 10,000 years unfucking the Imperium.

@kriegsmanjaeger5545

7 ай бұрын

​@@KhaosN7attempting to at least

@gabrielelizondo2666

7 ай бұрын

@@kriegsmanjaeger5545you definitely don’t know the power of LOGISTICS!!!!

@polboygiraffetamer6654

7 ай бұрын

Roboute's sheer unfuckery knows no bounds.

@stricktpine9067

6 ай бұрын

FR tho guilliman conducted a crusade almost as big as the great crusade by HIMSELF.

"HE DID WHAT WITH A WHAT?!"

@Sweetness71775

8 ай бұрын

*"GUILLIMAAAAAAAANNNNNNN!"*

@DPL58

8 ай бұрын

"Did anyone else feel that just now?"

@ArcaneMaiden

8 ай бұрын

"Feel what, my lord?"

@mcfruity0020

8 ай бұрын

“Just a chill in the air…like…disapproval from a sibling.”

@ArcaneMaiden

8 ай бұрын

@@mcfruity0020 "Would you like me to call an apothecary, my lord?"

Yvraine: "Um... Cheesed to meet you...?"

@dreademperor2094

6 ай бұрын

Lion: Where did you learn that from?

@jack0lantern03

6 ай бұрын

Yvraine: You learn a lot of things when you spend time with a Primarch and his sons,@@dreademperor2094

@KingJackofJackistan

4 ай бұрын

''BY THE EMPEROR A TALKING XENOS! I'M GOING INSANE!!!!!!!!!!''

@dreademperor2094

4 ай бұрын

@@KingJackofJackistan there are a good amount of xenos that can talk

@KingJackofJackistan

4 ай бұрын

@@dreademperor2094 its a fucking joke you idiot, you cretin, you buffoon, you reddit circlejerker,

Lion "What is that pointy ears things next to you?" Gulima "What are those little things in robes around you?" Lion "Touche..."

@Darqshadow

3 ай бұрын

Poor Russ and Dorn are gonna have heart attacks

@oldtimegames96

2 ай бұрын

Russ is in warp at the moment, and Dorn is dead, so I guess they don't need to know?​@@Darqshadow

@personthing88

Ай бұрын

@@Darqshadow Nah Give Russ some of the strongest Alcohol you can find and he won’t care Dorn? A heart attack and a half

@Mr.Heller

Ай бұрын

C'mon, they're just little guys.

@genericname4739

Ай бұрын

Dorn is pragmatic. He may see the value of an alliance with the Eldar. Russ may be annoyed, but probably can drink his way past it until he finds a Eldar drinking buddy. Then he may have a friend for life. Now Vulkan on the other hand. Dude is going to have a heart attack upon hearing that his brothers are even remotely trying to be chill with the Eldar

For the love of the Emperor, she's even holding his arm, couldn't be more adorable if they tried!

Yvraine wrapping her arm around Guilliman just feels like she is subliminally telling El’Jonson, “This is mine.”

It’s actually called a Ultrasmoothie

@ThatGuyUpThere

8 ай бұрын

Do not confuse it with the Ultragazpacho (tipe of soup), Guilliman's sons chant about all the time.

@Flesh_Wizard

7 ай бұрын

Blueberry, I'm guessing

@durinV

Ай бұрын

@@Flesh_Wizard Ultrablueberry!

@SirMarshalHaig

29 күн бұрын

Because they always make so much, even a Primarch has something left to share ;)

Oh god, he's begun dubbing IdiotofTheEast comics God Emperor save us all from when he starts dubbing Slaanesh comics

@riven5677

8 ай бұрын

Indeed

@Zachriel_Productions

8 ай бұрын

Oh no

@orobogamer3.040

8 ай бұрын

​​@@Zachriel_ProductionsEMPEROR SAVE US

@beanman29393

8 ай бұрын

im not complaining, slaanesh is hot.

@beanman29393

8 ай бұрын

im not complaining, slaanesh is hot.

😂😂😂😂 that's akward, meeting one of your in-laws for the first time

@absolute3723

2 ай бұрын

Brother.

@hillbillywizard497

Ай бұрын

LION: *kicks down Guilliman's door* Brother! It is great to see you are alright! Now we can work together to destroy the Xenos! GUILLIMAN: *sigh* YVRAINNE: *his in l-law*This is awkward... LION: EXPAIN!!!! GUILLIMAN: Mutually beneficial political alliance to kill Slaanesh, a Chaos God, and hopefully Fulgrim as well LION: Acceptable... for now.

Somehow, The Lion being Scottish fits so well...

"Turns out, some of the elves are cool. And hot." Guilleman probably.

@dreademperor2094

6 ай бұрын

Vulkan: *bursts in* brothers I have returned, I heard that Lion has returned as well and I also heard that Guilliman has a girlfriend, I would love to meet my future sister in la... *sees that it's a Eldar* um well, if she was a dark Eldar this would be awkward

558th watcher -in the dark- of Robot Gman’s “nonstandard diplomatic techniques”

@Edible_edibility

8 ай бұрын

That poor guy never came back, Contemplated offing themselves after seeing the start. Did when the whip was pulled out

‘Just because I got a big tiddy goth gf and you don’t doesn’t mean you get to purge her

@yeenbaby2891

7 ай бұрын

"Find one yourself, even dad has one"

Two weeks later Lion: Guilliman, I've got a knife ear GF as well, I'm not that racist as dad! Guilliman: Holy shit, Lion, that's a Drukhari! Did you get pranked by Jaghatai?

@FueganTheAnnihilator

8 ай бұрын

I mean, the Ynnari are essentially an Aeldari death cult so as long as the Lion’s Deldar gf remains relatively tame it shouldn’t be that different

@feris2137

8 ай бұрын

​@@FueganTheAnnihilatoralso, Yvraine used to be Drukhari

@saulmartinez8885

8 ай бұрын

The Ynnari faction has eldar from all types so it's not that rare to see a drukhari around if they are present

@DogKacique

8 ай бұрын

Given the Dark Angels penchant for interrogation, a Drukhari gf would fit the Lion best

@AmazingAutist

8 ай бұрын

Waut new development who is this?

Thing is, lion is probably one of the primarchs more likely to be on board with this development, since we have seen that he is willing to put aside rules and standard conventions if necessary (like he did with the edict of nikea when trapped in the warp)

@thesmilinggun-knight9646

8 ай бұрын

I think he would draw the line at human and alien boning each other.

@ragnarian

8 ай бұрын

@@thesmilinggun-knight9646 he has also used AI weapons, given to him by Big E, but given just how taboo AI is, thats also a massive step

@jirojhasuo2ndgrandcompany745

8 ай бұрын

​@@thesmilinggun-knight9646Lion literally has a bunch of hooded midgets created by god knows where by his side at all times

Yvraine is honestly adorable in this comic strip

To be fair The Emperor himself had an eldari GF for a bit, I guess it runs in the family

@rory8182

3 ай бұрын

cheap eldar hookers and all

@denizsagra6961

3 ай бұрын

Wait who?

@dudupintarolas5214

Ай бұрын

Like father like son

Lion: whatcha' got there? Blueberry boi: a smoothie his eldar gf: two smoothies to be exact

Robot gorillaman "listen Johnson i know this is herecy but shes like the only one around that isn't insane...." Lion "but...aliens....kill the aliens....all of them..."

@menmamadrigal1233

8 ай бұрын

Look around you and tell me you don’t need some emotional support

@firelordeliteast6750

8 ай бұрын

Guilliman: Well, technically none of them are insane if we judge by pure rationality, but I like her the best.

@Sharrowkyn48

7 ай бұрын

Lion: PURGE THE FOUL XENOS! *small watcher in the dark tapping his leg plating* Lion: Yes, little one?

@DeezNuts-kl2te

7 ай бұрын

proceed to bonk Lion in a head

It’s all fun and games until you realize that the smoothie he’s holding is probably the size of your chest.

@thalesvinicius2571

2 ай бұрын

and the cup is extra resistent to be held bay a power armor glove, the cup is more resistant than your chest too

"Well, let me introduce my sword to your smoothie"

I'll be real with you, I've never been a huge fan of shipping..but fuck me if I'm not sailing on the SS Gyvraine. Bobby G deserves to be happy for once, and it would be funny if it was canon.

@FueganTheAnnihilator

8 ай бұрын

Grim Darkness can’t exist without some Noble Bright to compare it to (this statement is in support of GMan & Yiv)

@benhaver9737

8 ай бұрын

Funny, but also kinda nonsensical. (I ain’t against it just pointing out the issues as is.) As the lore is now they’ve barely even spoken to each other. Eldrad, was the one negotiating a Ynnari x Imperium alliance. So unless GW wants to do a ton of retconning this ship is going to remain in parody comics.

@ThatGuyUpThere

8 ай бұрын

​@@benhaver9737both sides would be in six diferent types of deep shit before an alliance by marriage is even put on the table, yet it's fun to think of the posibilities.

@h00d3dcrow

8 ай бұрын

​@@benhaver9737well it wouldn't be a first for GW (and it wouldn't even be the biggest retcon).

@benhaver9737

8 ай бұрын

@@h00d3dcrow True. Overhauling the entire setting between 1st and 3rd edition will likely never be outdone.

I love that they're just hanging out drinking smoothies. They work so hard, I'm happy they find the time to enjoy the simple things together.

Trazyn sitting in the corner: “I miss smoothies…”

@rory8182

3 ай бұрын

honestly Trazyn is the best character in 40K and you cannot convince me otherwise

@hillbillywizard497

Ай бұрын

​@@rory8182 No. No, I don't think I will.

i love how it is like; the IoM: xenos scum!!! fuck em!!! Guilliman: ..... the IoM: NOOOO!!!!!! NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!

@KhaosN7

8 ай бұрын

"Instructions unclear. Ended up busting a fat, primarch nut deep inside premium Eldussy."

@orobogamer3.040

8 ай бұрын

Too late lion

Lion: Make it three smoothies as I beat that Xeno Scum into one

@leonelimalevu2199

8 ай бұрын

Gulliman: Lay a single finger upon her brother. And boy will I seize all your assets to the point you'll have to rename The Rock to something more appropriate like The Pebble. (Pulls out data pad) And what's this? It says here you've been committing tax evasion for over 10,000 YEARS!!! You'd be lucky if you're still wearing anything by the time I'm done!!

@thesmilinggod5971

8 ай бұрын

​@@leonelimalevu2199this is peak Gulliman for sure

@dreademperor2094

6 ай бұрын

@@leonelimalevu2199 Vulkan: *bursts in* Where's my future sister-in-law?!

Yup, anorher imperial classic.

Guiliman: also guess whose going to be a uncle

I can only imagine vulkan's reaction to this

@InVinoVeratas

7 ай бұрын

Eldar BBQ 🍖 🥓

@dreademperor2094

7 ай бұрын

Vulkan: One time and I still feel horrible about it!

Lion: I HAVE RETURNED G: good, you can help me with taxes and Un-Fuckering the Imperium. Lion: and im goiNG TO TAKE ANOTHER VERY LONG NAP

XD I still love how everyone just ships Guilliman and his xeno waifu

Lord, please make this canon, because it would be so fucking funny.

The Lion being Welsh is now head cannon for me

Damn now i want an eldar g....i mean a smoothie

Diplomacy is diplomacy

Thats a long sip

@ajh3461

8 ай бұрын

Girlyman has roughly double the lung capacity and nearly double the stomach capacity of us mortals.

@ignaciomorales9083

8 ай бұрын

A ultra sip

@farmerboy916

8 ай бұрын

I’m just imagining they both learned cyclic breathing just for this encounter, so they can sip as long as they want

@The_Keeper

7 ай бұрын

She was a Drukhari once, so cyclical breathing would definitely be in in her repertoire. But not for sucking.... Well, at least not for sucking on a straw...

@rory8182

3 ай бұрын

@@farmerboy916 yeah, can't think of any other reason that a couple would learn how to hold their breaths for minutes on end

Wait till he hears about Sanguinus’ bromance with THE SILENT KING!

**guilliman talk to Yvraine for all of 5 minutes** Secondarys: Oh they fuuuckin

@tellurius4951

7 ай бұрын

Let's be honest, we are talking about wh40k. 5 minutes is more than enough

@Shiiro1998

7 ай бұрын

I mean, he needed just 5 minutes to destroy all the rules of the imperium about xenos and make an alliance with the ynnari. A relationship os way more easy

@levesteM

6 ай бұрын

By 40k standards, the fact they didn't try to kill eachother on sight may as well be a proposal.

@Zwijger

6 ай бұрын

You probably meant "on *sight"

@levesteM

6 ай бұрын

@@Zwijger Yep! I'll edit the comment. Thanks!

Honestly I'm happy for guilliman he deserves to be happy as well

Lion: ah i Can i have a smoothie?

wow, never have i heard a voice that would fit the Lion so much before.

Gulliman is such a handsome man

@Ollyatlas

5 ай бұрын

The loyalist primarchs are designed to be beautiful I mean vulkan is a gigachad

The Lion with that exclamation sound effect made me laugh. It's such a simple and old sound, but it always makes me happy when Metal Gear lives on through the meme of the someone being surprised or shocked with that sound.

Bro’s been single handedly running the empire while all he’s brothers either where dead asleep lost or actively working towards he’s demise, he got lonely leave him have elf wifu

Salamanders needs to hurry up with fining artifacts so Vulkan can finally return and put an end to this knife eared heresy

Last I knew, groxes weren't mammalian... So just where did Rowboat get the milk for that smoothie???

@satch5471

8 ай бұрын

...smoothies come from fruit

@pikachufantastic

8 ай бұрын

Your thinking milkshakes friend not smoothies.

@ShiningFingerStudio

8 ай бұрын

Still raises some questions on Imperium dairy. Another wonder of the Dark Age of Technology lost, perhaps?

@thethatone2166

7 ай бұрын

​@@satch5471... And yogurt

@satch5471

5 ай бұрын

@@thethatone2166 ... but mostly from fruit you cum chugging weirdos

It's not only a smoothie, it's a ultra smoothie made of ultraberries carefully cultivated in the lush gardens of Macrage! Now wait until Lion find out the absolute state of the Imperium, such as the cult of the Emperor and the "greater demon" we call Saint Celestine. It will make Guilleman's goth eldar GF feel like a foot note in the book of crazy.

Dommy momm-ER UH SLAANESH! denies any affiliation with that.

@Snyperwolf91

8 ай бұрын

>Drukhari enters the chat

The Lion- HE DID WHAT WITH A WHAT

Honestly, wouldn't be suprised if Lion didn't know what a smoothie was.

I like how my friend always refeered the ultramarine as Bluebarry scout

Considering the lion is actually a lot chiller than we all thought hed be. He might not be that werided out

I saw this comic earlier today and read it in your Lion/Guilliman voices, am I a prophet?

This is what the Eldar storyline is remembered for.

Smoothies comes in different shapes and sizes.

Lion's more surprised Guilliman managed to get some than it was with an Eldar.

“What the fuck is a Tyranid?” -Lion El’Jonson, probably

Holy throne! I'm coming! Oh Yvraine! Oh... OH!" - Roboute Guilliman

17 nanoseconds before Guilliman, the Armour of Fate and Yvraine all wound up mysteriously... *disassembled*

After ten-thousand years, I'm finally free!

The artist should have made it bubble tea just to hammer home the eldar GF point.

Well, atleast it isnt Vulkan, the imperium doesnt need a promethian man-made sun called "Ultramar".

I could imagine the eldari busting in to kil what do you have gman a smoothie eldari gimme gman no ill get you your own

HERESY!!!!!!!!!👉🧋

Lion: *trying to not pop every vein in his body* why are you here? Yvraine: brought him back and with no medical bills Gorilla Man: a sacrifice for not telling the administratum

I just like this because of how powerful your voice is. You just make me think of Vikings all the time

At least it was not Vulcan.

@DogKacique

8 ай бұрын

Vulkan would never accept an Eldar GF He'll end up with Shadowsun instead

« Roboute WTF are you doing??? » - Famous Lion el Jonson first words

WHAT ARE THE WATCHERS IN THE DARK, LION

Girlyman planned this out just to insult the Lion. He knows how that man would have shivers through his skin with what Guilliman would do.

Guilliman: "DON'T! TRY IT! Is my stress toy" Lion:"fuck xeno dosen't mean this"

Lion: This is unacceptable! I can't stay here and watch you befriend xenos! I am going back to my rock fortress with my tiny aliens friends!

@dreademperor2094

6 ай бұрын

Guilliman: *scoffs* hypocrite

"That, is a funny reference." -Adornable

lion will probably start dating a elf or dwarf sooner or later Holy shit a dwarf is gonna make him new gear like a good helm and new sword since Cypher has his

The Lion: YOU DID WHAT WITH THE WHAT?

yup. Guilliman is a smoothie.

I keep hearing the Rock that makes you old in the Lion's voice.

"She is my emotional support in this Insane galaxy brother." Said Gulliman with a calm tone and a dead eye stare then sent chills down the lion's spine as his supernatural instincts warned him not push his luck at this point of time. "But-" "Either I keep her or your ass will be reviewing ten thousand years worth of administrative paperwork left to rot brother while I find Fulgrim and proceed with plan Coma I have been keeping as a backup incase i lose my shit." "...You wouldn't dare." "Father already pisses me off by pushing his fuckups on me all i need is one more FUCKING person making me even more miserable."

@Doc_Fun

8 ай бұрын

tbh rowboat would want no smoke with the lion. But if it came to that, he'd probably hit him with the ol' "Hey, let's talk about _your_ chapter for a sec."

@tellurius4951

7 ай бұрын

"Who are these little hooded guys around you Lion?" "Fine, do what you want" *somewhere in the warp* Fulgrim: oh, come on Bobby, I already put my makeup on

@dreademperor2094

4 ай бұрын

Leman Russ: *appears with Isha* brothers I have returned and say hello to my new companion Isha, my sons and I rescued her from the chaos god Nurgle while laying waste to his home *sees Yvraine* Ah I see you have a interest in Eldar as well Guilliman

"ill have you know its a ULTRAsmoothie"

I swear with meme magic alone we will force GW to make this Canon

Guillimen being absolutely chill and not enraged 90% of the time is the most disturbing part not the Eldar "Mommy"

The Lion: Im telling dad! Gillaman: but dad know about the smoothie though?

As a good custodian whos name was based on an old Terran creature said "THIS IS NOT FUCKING CANNON!"

@user-yf4gg9ec4f

2 ай бұрын

I see you have heard of the captain-grneral of the custodies.

@robouteguilliman7628

2 ай бұрын

​@@user-yf4gg9ec4fOfcourse.

“F@$& ROBOAT-GIRLY MAN!” -the angry marines.

Guilliman doesnt bother him about the little robed aliens who carry his shit around, Lion could return the favour

@hillbillywizard497

Ай бұрын

LION: What's with the Xeno, Brother. GUILLIMAN: What's with the little robed freaks that follow you around and carry your shit? LION: Touché... GUILLIMAN: Let's make a deal, I give the 10,000 years of unpaved taxes, and you look the other way. LION: *sweating* Deal

I love that we support the knife-ears in every setting now.

El Emperador: “Mírenlo, es todo un fornicador”

"its ok lion, they want to die at some point anyway"

The Lion....probably won't care. His opinion on Xenos were dependent on what The Emperor said. 'They can live? Fine.' 'They have to die? Fine.' Both Gulliman and Johnson understand the utility of working with Xenos but they don't trust them.

Yvraine: "It's not just any smoothie, it's an UltraBlueberry smoothie"

NO IM NOT DATING YVRAINE!!!!

Me , a blood raven, looking at the lion : can I borrow your armor ? It’s for a project

Eldar would totally put boba in their smoothies.

Yvraine used to be a dark Eldar. I don't know how relevant is that right now, I just felt like sharing it C:

Love that the whole thing between rowboat guerrilla man and the elf actually boiled down to two warriors having a sort of mutual respect for each other. Yet everyone who read that went “THEYRE VIOLENTLY FUCKING HARDER THAN WHEN THE AELDARI MADE SLAANESH, ITS CONSTANT COITUS!”

I'm pretty sure the Lion ment that other thing you have Guillimen