A bloke i knew got called blisters. He appeared after all the hardwork was done.

@TopFloorEricc

Жыл бұрын

A lovely Lee Mack joke

@stevekirkpatrick1612

Жыл бұрын

Tut tut, call him seagull. He gets to hype it up thinking you're saying Seagal, and you get to know the full truth of what you're saying... he flies in, shits all over everything, makes noise and flies off.

Later, Steve Jenkins would be adopted by a Chinese family & go on to co-author a cookbook with Lee Mack.

@Megpie8

3 жыл бұрын

I read that. “Wok Around the Clock.” 10/10, Great book.

@alkietheduck

3 жыл бұрын

I feel for those who won't appreciate this gem of a comment

@samarvora7185

2 жыл бұрын

I scrolled down to the comment the moment he said that name. The fact that the comment I was looking for was the first comment was a pleasant surprise.

@eiramu

2 жыл бұрын

Steve or Steven ?

@BluntArrows

2 жыл бұрын

@@eiramu Steve. Nice guy. Didn't get along with his parents, largely on account of not speaking Mandarin, but still a nice guy.

"Monastery" was fucking art!

Lol monastery his last name was monkhouse absolutely hilarious xx

@hollyblake9852

7 жыл бұрын

monk and house... a monastery is where monks live

@woodgatejack

7 жыл бұрын

Oh man, it reminded me of a teacher I had called Mr Greenhouse, who everyone called "Shed".

@redstreak45cat36

6 жыл бұрын

best one

@daleyp2001

6 жыл бұрын

The best friend name

@danieldavis9722

6 жыл бұрын

Yeah that one was genius

i have a limp due to a hip condition so my nicknames at school were penguin, pingu, happy feet and my personal fav limp biscuit all for the same reason

@androidangel787

6 жыл бұрын

mia barrett omg! Don't want to sound cruel, but your comment made me laugh hysterically.

@flumse9218

5 жыл бұрын

I was called a horse because of several similarities. Imagine what your nickname could have been if you were my friend

@idc5309

3 жыл бұрын

Pingu is absolutely hysterical

@miawasbrd

3 жыл бұрын

@@flumse9218 Haha we could have been wonky donkey 🤣

Boots. His name was Mike. He wore winter boots in the winter. The audacity.

@andrewjohnson6716

Жыл бұрын

I knew of a guy called “Boots” because it was short for “dumb as a sack of…”

Oh my god my nickname was monastery

@androidangel787

6 жыл бұрын

Duke Monkhouse he was referring to you ?

@p.sandratangkulung6451

4 жыл бұрын

LMAO ITS YOU!!

@ericaheap

4 жыл бұрын

NO WAY HAHAHA

@also9825

4 жыл бұрын

I was Thunderpants. One among many

@HikazePrincess

3 жыл бұрын

Is this only in British schools? Cuz none of my friends had nicknames like these growing up

Greg's enjoyment makes these great audience nicknames so much better.

There was a guy in school that we called Pup for 20-years without telling him why. His whole family ended up calling him Pup, which was hilarious because the reason we called him Pup was because his mom could be a real bitch.

@stevekirkpatrick1612

Жыл бұрын

Unintended self burns are the best

My best mate during high school was known only as 'Tuna' for 5 years. Because he once made a tuna sandwich at a friends house.

@notsahsoj5155

4 жыл бұрын

like Jim from the office

@WeMuckAround

4 жыл бұрын

I also know someone called tuna for that reason 🤣

@cybercop3108

3 жыл бұрын

Found small tuna

@debbiesavoie4877

3 жыл бұрын

@@cybercop3108 hi there hun

@IronDragon1337

3 жыл бұрын

Me and my friends called our friend Taco for all of middle school only because he was hispanic and didn't care

I was called "Penny" for 8 years, because I said the phrase "In for a penny, in for a pound" once (!) in 5th grade

I lost it at 50p head.

@ACat-pm8kx

8 жыл бұрын

Bcos it was 50/50 which way he'd kick the ball,presumably 👍😂

@mattissotrendy

8 жыл бұрын

+Django Tango Lost it as in 'found it funny' you moron.

@JOHNNYCFC18

7 жыл бұрын

Django Tango no when he heads the ball it goes fucking straight it aka bounces of his dome instead of his forehead

@michikomanalang6733

6 жыл бұрын

Matt Burfield could you explain the toblerone boots one to me, please? I didn’t quite get it.

@Theorimlig

6 жыл бұрын

Toblerone are triangular, and this guy couldn't control which direction he'd kick the ball very well. Just imagine his feet being shaped like toblerone pieces, I guess.

I love Greg's reaction to 50p head!

Allow me to personally say.... ...nicknames can be brutal.

@stevekirkpatrick1612

Жыл бұрын

And hilarious. They can be any number of things for a person who is secure in their own identity.

there is a lad in my school called cabbage, because he bought fresh chopped cabbage off a year 6 during primary, after being told it was weed 😂

I have a friend called Spaghetti Daughter, or just Spaghetti for short. her nickname is this because when we first met her she was eating spaghetti. We knew Spaghetti for at least a year before we found out her real name.

@featherbird666

6 жыл бұрын

I also know a guy called Chicken Breast because he's pale and has light hair so he looks a bit like a bit of chicken.

18 months is fuckin brilliant

@SassyPantsy

3 жыл бұрын

I don't get it!! Could you explain?

@anniex8651

3 жыл бұрын

@@SassyPantsy The guy lost half of one of his ears. So he only had 'one ear and a half' ! If you say it fast it sounds like 'one year and a half' = 18 Months 😉

@SassyPantsy

3 жыл бұрын

@@anniex8651 oh my god that's fucking convoluted lol

@anniex8651

3 жыл бұрын

@@SassyPantsy 😂 really clever tho.

One of my best friends in school was called "Donnie" because in an argument someone told her she looked like Donald duck (she doesn't really). The nickname stuck so long i once heard her mom call her that 😂

Greg is awesome. He gets as much enjoyment as the people he is talking to.

I laugh more at Greg laughing than anything else he's said on the stage. Lol

I actually believe everything he says is true 😂😂😂

Is Pop Eye the same Stephen Jenkins who co-wrote Lee Mack's cook book?!??!!

Mate of mine with a bad stutter - Airlock. Cheers from Zambia, Africa.

My nickname was Hyena and no it wasn't because of the way I laughed but because in recess I always came in to the cafeteria late and had my lunch between trays of unfinished food and it appeared as if was eating the leftovers of everybody else's meals.

@kimaboe

6 жыл бұрын

Haha, this is a good one.

@jyazman

5 жыл бұрын

I remember a girl called kitkat..... 4 fingers for 27p

@wavetech_

4 жыл бұрын

That's actually very creative

They say bullies can't take your name, Well when I was bullied my mom went into school and threw the guy against the wall. Then for 5 years I was called Harry by everyone, including family....Harry was the bullies name!

I love this man

Similar to "bad back", I once met a guy nicknamed "head wound". He went to boarding school with a friend of mine. When they went off to college, being normal college students, they went to a party. Being normal college students they weren't financially well-off, and they were also in a rural area. So the party had an empty beer keg strung up as a "poor man's" mechanical bull. So this fellow is rather drunk, hops up on the keg, which is naturally unstable, and he falls off immediately. Being the "cool dude" that he was, he was wearing his sunglasses. Upon impact with the ground, the sunglasses broke and cut his face. It didn't scar and healed up in a few days. But regardless, he was henceforth known as Head Wound.

@stevekirkpatrick1612

Жыл бұрын

I nearly had a college nickname of "wheelchair" due to an accident that (by the doctor's assessment) should have at least left me paralyzed. In the end I'm still walking around and another random guy got that moniker ... just because.

My nickname through high school and beyond was “Mohawk”. No reason, I didn’t have the haircut, read the novel, or have any event that would cause it. I just had a stoner roommate who got stoned in the first week and just started calling me it. The teachers called me it, the students didn’t know my real name, they even gave me nicknames on my nickname. Mo, Mo-baby, Hawkster, etc. They’d even ring up my mom and try to ask for me by that name.

@stevekirkpatrick1612

Жыл бұрын

But seriously I need to ask the MoMonator for something... hey can I borrow $10? You got that quite a bit too didn't you? Friends of friends of acquaintances who found out you had a bit of cash on hand, trying to dig into your pockets?

I've been called Georgie since I was in year 6. I'm 32 now, and there are still old schoolmates who don't know my actual given name.

We had one person in my year who was called piggy because he looked like piggy from lord of the flies film. There was also a german kid nicknamed Metric because he measured everything in the metric system. They're both still called that after 5 years.

There were quite a few nicknames in my year... Cheese: A guy who always ate cheese sandwiches in primary school. Coco Pop: A kid with a mole on his neck. Hips don't lie: Some girl named Shakira. Orange Peel: A girl who always had far too much fake tan on. There were some nastier names that I'd rather not mention! xD

@brightoff

4 жыл бұрын

Star Duster I have a friend with the nickname cheese too. Oddly given to him by our German teacher because the way he wrote his name just looked like he wrote cheese.

My mom went to school with a guy, who they still to this day refer to as butt, because he during a football match once showed his butt. This was 40 years ago.

bagdhad lol

I’ve seen this multiple times and laugh every time. I’ve gone to a live performance of two big name comedians..enjoyed the show but nvr laughed out loud. Greg kills it every time.

Name is Stacey. Had a period, sorted it but thereafter was Stayfree 🙁

There was a very sweet stoner a couple of years ahead of me @ university who was known as Steel Balls because he'd taken a particularly brutal hit between the legs during a soccer match but managed to hobble off the field under his own power.

18 months is so clever I would Insist on being called that

Two words: Scoliosis Boy

The routine which made me buy the Firing Cheeseballs at a Dog DVD.

My Uncle called me Bugsy. His daughter called me Buck. My named is Rebecca.

The thumbnail to this one sums it up really.

This is fucking Gold

Three finger franky, girl who had just 3 fingers on one hand

Last name Choate. Stupid kids called me Sargent Schultz from Hogans Heroes. Funny name for a girl. Greg is hilarious😂😂😂

we had a guy at school called SWISH It was the sound his sheets made at night when he would beat off. Everywhere he went he got the swish sound effects. even fro m the girls. Teachers started calling him swish thinking it was cool. LMAO

I was nicknamed Jenn-Train in high school for no reason whatsoever other then me being a class clown and another class clown, Katie, liking the song "Crazy Train" and somehow it merged. We had a guy named Adam who got called "Cheesecake" and no one knows why; there was also a tiny kid who was like 4 feet tall who we started calling "Shorty". I can't remember any more.

monastry is my favourite

There was a guy in my high school who wore a Mr Bubbles shirt as a PE shirt. And everyone started calling him Bubbles. Poor guy, I don't even remember his real name anymore.

I always wished for a cool nickname. But so far, it was 'goose', (gans, in my language) because it rhymed with the first part of my surname, Jansen. And I believe...that's kindof where it ended. Perhaps an "Eey-Jeej" which is how we'd pronounce E.J. (my initials.) The last one was Poekey, (Poo-key) but I've made that one up myself. I was called Poekey for about 10 years...and some people still only know me as Poekey. But again, it was a name I made up for myself, like Widdekuu and not one that was given to me. So I feel it doesn't count.

@stevekirkpatrick1612

Жыл бұрын

You can't decide your own nickname TBone. If you try you'll only become Coco.

My nickname was Dora the explorer because we where lost in a theam park and i desided to look at the map

At my school there was a Pakistani boy called Heeslate.... Because we saw him walking towards school after it had finished and said "he's late".

@whatdoyousuppose9369

7 жыл бұрын

jim jimjim lp

We had a boy at secondary school known as toast or “toastie”. His clothes used to smell of a burnt smell. Poor boy. Looking back, I think his parents would char his polyester uniform in the tumble dryer.

50p head is fucking amazing

At our school in the 80's, if you were fat, you got called Bubbles. My older brother was very fat then, and when his mates met me, they called me Bublet. I was as skinny as a rake at the time. Had a teacher in high school by the name of Mr. Caripi. An automatic pool cleaner invented in South Africa is a Kreepy Krawly, so he became Caripi Krawly. I was one of 8 Robs at our pub Blind Rob, Rob A, Tall Rob, Big Rob, Bob, Rob Mac, Rob H, and me: Gay Rob. I'm not gay, but don't ever walk into a bar singing the last song you heard on the radio. Idid that twice, first was 'I Need a Man' by Man Parrish, the second was 'I'm The Only Gay Eskimo In My Tribe' thats it- Gay Rob.

Baghdad is the best, it’s so simple and now he’s a dad

I was called nintendo simply for the fact that I had a hoodie that said nintendo on it.

I had a mate called Bozzer because instead of saying bus he said boz, once.

Super sexy funny guy 😂

In uni I knew two guys who were called “Spew” and “Target”. During frosh week there was a from party where they were doing keg-runs. A keg at each end of a corridor and competitors ran from one end of the hall to the other chucking a beer at each end. One fellow came out of his room to complain about the noise at the wrong moment and well…Spew did…and Target was.

@stevekirkpatrick1612

Жыл бұрын

Even knowing the gist of the story i still giggled to read it.

Friend in my class named Smiley- every time he farted, he smiled

Some kid decided my name in high school would be Joshwe (pronounced Josh-way) because he claimed it meant “gay”….. not gay, never met the kid before, never spoke to him beyond him informing me of my nickname…..

Had a buddy called Phil. His last name was McCracken.

I was called 'orange eagle' for a good few years at school because one day after using red hair chalk, I came to school with dayglo orange hair as a result of only half of it washing out

I love this guy

@rapportlebon4823

6 жыл бұрын

kristina mmmmm yum yum

I love him!!! God he’s funny!!

I had a few nicknames that were put together, so my main nickname is "chippy" simply as it refers to my second name, then it turned into "chippy ray cyrus" in reference to Billy ray Cyrus because I had a pony tail that looked slightly like a mullet then it was finally formed into "chippy ray Vader" because I have asthma and breathe heavy lmao

I got Cyndi Lauper because....my hair is red. **SHRUG** (And Puddles for a while because I'd spilled water and they thought I'd pissed myself. Hated that one.)

We called a guy's girlfriend Carrot Soup because she had red hair, none of us liked her as she was a heinous bitch and who likes Carrot Soup? We used it as a code name to talk about her in front of him. As far as we knew, he had no idea. Went camping one time and for food he had brought only a bag of mini carrots to eat. At some point in the night, all of us high and drunk in the woods, he decided he was going to make carrot soup to see why we all hated it so much and talked about it non-stop. He borrowed someone's pot, boiled some carrots until soft then mashed them into a warm paste. He took one spoonful, stood up and hurled the carrot soup into the woods and screamed, "GROSS! I FUCKING HATE CARROT SOUP!" Everyone killed themselves laughing, he stood around confused what was so funny. I never found out if that was his way of telling us he knew what we were talking about and if he too was trying to express his dislike for the girl...subtly or if he remained oblivious.

Life ain't easy for a boy named Sue. But to get any nickname beside powerwanker? That by itself is legendary

can somebody explain the 50p head joke to me?please. I'm from Germany and I don't get it.

@elizabethwright6800

8 жыл бұрын

It's because 50ps are like hexagons and are really angled so a ball could hit his head and bounce in any direction

@lee1170

6 жыл бұрын

they used to call you Lazy

@endzordays

6 жыл бұрын

Wait what!? Really!? It's not a reference to a 50p blowjob? That nickname just got a bit boring.

@jjuniper721

4 жыл бұрын

Thanks...I got it lol.

At one school I had a back brace so my name was Turtle, and at another it was Possum because I "have a ratty face, but in a good way"

We had a lad the girls called Thunderball... It was said he farted when he came ..

Knew a kid whose nickname was Scrubby. Don’t know why, maybe because he always had a ton of gel in his hair.

People with nicknames I know, Worm, Kak, Phil the psycho, pumpkin, brother Dave, Fat Ash, Adder.

I was called Spencer for two years because I wore a jacket from some random minor league softball team that said . . . yep you guessed it Spencer. Two years later the name was Starfox same story but it was a t-shirt! Lastly I was called Teddy because my last name is Graham, Kids are so clever

think I'm way to sensitive feeling sorry for this people especially mumbo 😁

I went to school for half a year in Australia. none of the students could pronounce my name right, so they just called me "fuckus" (yep, that's right). it got so bad so fast that my classteacher had to have a one-on-one talk with me and asked me to intentionally mispronounce my name to quickly quell the possible extasy epidemic that was in the making. it was quite effective, tbh.

Does anyone know where this is from? Is there a DVD of this gig? Thanks 😊

@philippavinall7247

6 жыл бұрын

Vincent Way from his dvd "firing cheeseballs at a dog" best stand up ive ever seen

There should be statues to great comedians.

@unkyduck

Жыл бұрын

It’s in the garden of the TM house

I had a teacher in my secondary school whose nickname was 'paedo archer' because someone saw him come from behind the sports hall wearing lycra

I dont understand 18 months joke, can someone explain please?

@filafomossa

6 жыл бұрын

18 months is one and a half years, and the guy had one normal ear and one thats was missing half of it so "and ear and a half" sounds like "a year and a half"

I don't get the reason for "Polly" getting his name...

@ADetailedHouse

4 жыл бұрын

ptroinks The kid had a burn on his arm ...so it's referencing the nursery rhyme: Polly, put the kettle on Polly, put the kettle on Polly, put the kettle on We'll all have tea. Sukey, take it off again Sukey, take it off again Sukey, take it off again They've all gone away.

A boy in 7th grade had a pencil in his pocket pointing down, he was jumping down the hall, fell and stabbed his nuts. He was there forevermore known as 'one nut wonder' Arrested for drug dealing interesting man

@APAMVs

Жыл бұрын

Oh my god 😂 man..poor guy though. To get stabbed in the nuts..ouch. no wonder he was arrested for drug dealing. If he have a problem with 1 testicle you'd try drugs too XD

Can someone explain the toblerone boots and 50p head to an American?

I don't know where he says it, but the one he tells about him and the guy who shat his pants is funny

im not shy im leaving a comment to say that i too have a friend thats gay and called andy and he's called gandy

His second DVD is much better, but this one is pretty great anyway

Could someone tell me what Greg is saying at 8:39. Can't seem to make it out.. Thank you!

@paulinepetit6168

7 жыл бұрын

I still don't get it :(

@YouGotSmurfed

7 жыл бұрын

Mum + BO = Mumbo

6 жыл бұрын

Not even anything he'd done. He's just got a stinky fucking Mum.

@kristinebonneau4766

6 жыл бұрын

diegensehaut he's saying cause my mum's nickname is BO

Hold the fuck up in an episode of would I lie to you lee Mack said a story about making a Chinese food cook book with a Chinese guy he knew from his school years called Steven jenkins he was English but adopted by Chinese people

We had shitboy... His surname is Whitehead, that got changed to shitehead for a couple of years since about 2006 is been shit boy... See him quite often and he hates it!!!!

mate at my schools called Leslie because he got a hair cut that made him look like a lesbian. lesbian to lez to leslie

@ed4pints

6 жыл бұрын

Oh and he's slightly tuby and had tits

He wrote my name :)

I was called Smartie for a couple of years, because 1. I liked smarties a lot 2. My name begins with s I was called diabetes girl for two years because of my diabetes, a cruel one. Then recently, Pacem which we got from a school mass hymn and for some reason it happened.

@SundaraRamanR

6 жыл бұрын

Good thing you've left the "diabetes girl" thing behind, "SweetasSugar42". 😁

I got the nickname 'wooden shinpads' and also bullet header from football

@JOHNNYCFC18

7 жыл бұрын

Rhys Howcutt bullet header is a compliment is it not?

@rhyscartwright13

7 жыл бұрын

It was because I scored an own goal 😂😂

@jake-sy7lu

6 жыл бұрын

Rhys Howcutt was it at least a good own goal?😂

fish fingers

@rapportlebon4823

6 жыл бұрын

AsboJunior mmmm yum

Legend states that this show is still going on to this day, even after everyone in the crowd has mentioned all their nicknames, they're somehow overcome with more and more names! Now, it is the longest running comedy show to date!

8:40 help me, can't understand the joke.

@onehappynegro

7 жыл бұрын

thx. found out body oder on google but i wasn't clever enough to get it without your mum-bo. fantastic. this is clip is so funny.

Can somebody explain the mumbo joke? I'm spanish and I don't get it :(

@johnny_b_1111

2 жыл бұрын

His mom had BO - body odour.

So ummm my nickname was since elementary school, and frankly still is, Joke, reason is quite simple and self-explanatory, because I was a non-stop barrage of jokes, good or bad, it didnt really matter to me. But because my friends are assholes they added a twist to the origin of that nickname which was as follows: When I was born, the nurse brought me to my mom. My mom, holding me in her arms looked at me, then at the nurse and said: That must be a joke, right?

Didn't Lee Mack create Steven Jenkins on the episode when he published his own cookbook?