My favorite of Gary's one liners - "I went to a friend's funeral yesterday. The poor bastard drowned. All of us mates of his got him a wreath in the shape of a life preserver ... Well, it's what he would've wanted".

@chebecat

Жыл бұрын

My favorite is when he's on top of a girl having a good time untill she opened her eyes fuck she's coming around.or I'm always worried when a girl sees me naked for the first time at the park one day she's going to get up and run away.

People need to remember, offensive jokes are meant to do that. They are not the views of the comedian telling them. We need more people like Gary.

@brianhardrada1297

2 жыл бұрын

He needs to put in a few jokes about Muhammad and the LGBTQ wingers.

@snapitinmyanal5870

2 жыл бұрын

shut up

@standance9044

Жыл бұрын

@@brianhardrada1297 and monarchy ( espeially thai King)

@strayhound3842

Жыл бұрын

They are not the views of the comedian? Now you ruined them!

@casey5165

Жыл бұрын

I do so love this kind of comedy. Very Jimmy Carr but not at the same time. Yes we need more. A lot more.

Everybody was complaining about Garys jokes so for him to tell them again is pretty brave well done Gary

@awm1527

2 жыл бұрын

The issues with this comment is "everybody" actually means a tiny minority. We are at the stage now where a single or a few complaints on the pathetic, sad Social Media is reported to such a scale, anyone would think the majority of people are offended, which is simply not true. If anything, do what Gary has just done, keep repeating them. The ones who are offended seem to be the ones filled with hate, not the comedians.

@snapitinmyanal5870

2 жыл бұрын

you shut up

@stevebrockwell65

Жыл бұрын

M&97@@awm1527 mm,t? 89⁹8k(

@jamieclarke2694

Жыл бұрын

​@AWM So true. The latest is "Snoop Doggs fans are up in arms because he slapped a female stage performers arse on stage as part of a show"...... Sure, because Snoop Dogg's fans expect nothing but the utmost respect for women from an OG rapper, so it makes total sense that they would complain about that... The media claiming "fans" are complaining is almost always completely false lol

He has perfect voice to these "offensive" jokes. And the fackt that the mount of his material is just enormous is unbelieveble! Absolutely brilliant stuff.

We need more Gary's in the world...love it. 🤣🤣🤣👍🏻

I love the way he sometimes doesn’t finish the joke as he’s laughing too much

@MrDaddyGazz

Жыл бұрын

It's good to see a comedian genuinely laugh at his own jokes

@thesnowdens

Жыл бұрын

@@MrDaddyGazz Or just laugh at his own jokes!!

@stasonmason7264

Жыл бұрын

@@thesnowdens His laugh is a lighter version of Jimmy Carr's.

The "I pulled a sickie" took a while to sink in but when it dawned on me I almost broke wind I laughed so much :-)

@andrewday3206

Жыл бұрын

I embarrassed to admit it went over my head

@markhowards420

Жыл бұрын

Have you made it to the end of Gary's routine yet ?

@Link_Says

Жыл бұрын

​@Andrew Day his timing is terrible. But he means he either wanked off, or picked up a sick person.

Why would anyone go to a gig knowing that they might be offended? Keep up the good work Gary

It's nothing more than humor. I found these to be brilliant!!

Gary we saw you in Aberdeen about 5 years ago. You were absolutely brilliant you talked to us after the show and you was a gentleman 👍🏻👍🏻

One of my friends lost his son and on the _day_ of that tragedy, he turned up for tennis, explaining it was either that or stay at home and cry. He chose to take his mind off the misery, doing something he loved. Afterwards, some of the players (unaware of the event) were telling jokes. My friend started laughing and for those precious few minutes, he was able to get away from the nightmare of what he'd suffered, thanks to comedy. It was therapeutic and enabled him to get through a difficult period that most of us can't even contemplate. Humour isn't ever offensive, unless you _choose_ to be offended. If this friend could be cheered up by humour, 12 hours after being given the worst news possible, then we all can. Personally, I'd support a law that jailed anyone complaining about jokes. In this dysfunctional and miserable world, we need more ironic and "offensive" jokes, not less. Those who would say otherwise are enemies of happiness and don't belong in normal society. When I was at Gramnar school, in the 60s, we mercilessly lampooned each other. This is where and how, we learnt our debating and riposte skills. Nowadays, kids are so insulated from everything that they have no ability to reply to any remark. We're breeding an entire generation that is unequipped to respond to anything. All thanks to the miserable and sanctimonious "degenerate puritans" (sic) who tout themselves as the arbiters of good taste.

@brucemadge8147

2 жыл бұрын

Brilliant comment. Totally agree.

@tomcartwright7134

2 жыл бұрын

Ian Rivlin, I too was in elementary and middle school in the mid sixties. I remember well the hilarious and sometimes ruthless things we would say to each other. We did in fact learn to sharpen our wit, and to grow a thicker skin . Most of these snowflake college kids and young adults would melt down , begging for a safe space as we unloaded a fusillade of withering insults. This comedian is killer funny. Some of the jokes are over the line , but none of it makes me angry or offended. He is brilliant.

@tim7052

Жыл бұрын

Ian Rivlin: Superbly put!! I totally agree!! Political correctness has got out of hand and is screwing society and interpersonal relationships!!

@craigfowler7098

Жыл бұрын

100% behind you brother and very well articulated.

@Eppu_Paranormaali

Жыл бұрын

Well, there is a golden rule "punch up, not down". I learned it the hard way after assaulting a random special kid the other day.

this is the most I`ve physically laughed at a comedian in years...thank you

He's exactly right to do this. When I was a child my grandmother used to remind my sister and I to say "Please"and "Thank you" etc. She was very prim and proper. One day my uncle walked into the sitting room while she was knitting and tore off a thunderous fart. She looked up and prompted him "I beg your pardon" he replied "Oh, sorry. Didn't you hear it the first time?' and did it again. I got a smack for laughing.

@no-one-in-particular

Жыл бұрын

my sister and me

@eddyblackmore2834

Жыл бұрын

@@no-one-in-particular r/confidentlyincorrect I would be the correct usage there.

@no-one-in-particular

Жыл бұрын

@@eddyblackmore2834 No, it isn't, "me" is correct. If it were only the one person involved, you would say "my grandmother used to remind me". The inclusion of the sister does not change the case.

Fisting a ventriloquist! Haahaha made me laugh right out of the gate

Superb. Genuine comedy. Loved every minute of it.

Your laugh between jokes...... priceless!😂😂😂😂😂

Free speech at its finest!

Absolutely love dark jokes but this took it too far - into the absolutely fucking hilarious territory 🤣

@snapitinmyanal5870

2 жыл бұрын

shut up

@craigfowler7098

Жыл бұрын

Didn't realise you could go too far!!

@anarchy9974

Жыл бұрын

What's the best thing about a prostitute dying? The 2nd hour is free

@jardc5108

Жыл бұрын

@@anarchy9974 I fucking really appreciate that joke by the way hahahaha

The Emo joke is my favourite.

The "dont forget poo bags" one gets me every time😂😂😂😂

Bloody brilliant!, we need more jokes like this in the world!!.

Thank god some people still have a sense of humour, brilliant

@NoosaHeads

2 жыл бұрын

One of my friends lost his son and on the _day_ of that tragedy, he turned up for tennis, explaining it was either that or stay at home and cry. He chose to take his mind off the misery, doing something he loved. Afterwards, some of the players (unaware of the event) were telling jokes. My friend started laughing and for those precious few minutes, he was able to get away from the nightmare of what he'd suffered, thanks to comedy. It was therapeutic and enabled him to get through a difficult period that most of us can't even contemplate. Humour isn't ever offensive, unless you _choose_ to be offended. If this friend could be cheered up by humour, 12 hours after being given the worst news possible, then we all can. Personally, I'd support a law that jailed anyone complaining about jokes. In this dysfunctional and miserable world, we need more ironic and "offensive" jokes, not less. Those who would say otherwise are enemies of happiness and don't belong in normal society.

@ivegotaquestionforyou206

2 жыл бұрын

@@NoosaHeads For me I served in forces for 22 years and as you can imagine there were some difficult times during which we used humour as part of the way way to deal with them, laugh or cry as the saying goes. A joke is ultimately that, a joke, no one really would laugh at some of the topics in a real situation of sadness but as you have said it is just a joke and in the modern world you can’t seem to say anything without offending someone. I am glad that some people agree and can see it for what it is. I can’t even imagine how I would cope in your friends situation and although I am sure he will never get over it I hope your friend is doing ok.

He’s having so much fun.

I'm a THIN, American Man, and for the last bunch of years, I've been watching ALL SORTS of stand up shows from Jimmy Carr, Sarah Millican, Mock the Week, stand up show's in the UK Apollo, and now I found YOURS!! Your jokes would TOTALLY offend an average American, but I've never been accused of being average, more.... abnormal then anything really! LOL I just wanted to say, KEEP THE JOKES COMING Mr. Delaney, YOUR AWESOME!!!

@davidfoster8318

Жыл бұрын

Funnily enough, you listed his wife in there.

@craig1538

Жыл бұрын

@@davidfoster8318 That's so true David. He and Jimmy Carr have been married for quite a few years now.

@Snoopy_2607

8 ай бұрын

Sarah Millican is his wife...and much funnier.

I love comedians who laugh at their own jokes.

He was one of the funnier parts of Mock the Week when he was a regular.

The dolphin one at 6.15 ish had me thinking for a few seconds....then I spat my drink out!! 🤣

@Diamondgee80

Жыл бұрын

7.35-8 had me ☠️

Him and Tim Vine are my favourite characters for one liners

@russtaylor2122

2 жыл бұрын

Yeah. Also Stewart Francis... Steven Wright... Kevin Schwartz...

@tiffenberg

Жыл бұрын

Milton Jones too

Great stuff. Love these one-liners.

Bin Laden was on the show Ready Steady Cook,,he made a Big Apple Crumble.

Waving her bucket 🤣🤣

Sitting on a plastic raft in Stanmore Bay NZ. I lived in a beach house for around 3-4 months aged 20 in 2013. Wow I miss them days. Listening to this song brings that memory back.

Mountbatten had dandruff .... They found his head n shoulders on the beach 😅😅

I want to get intouch with Gary just to thank him for making me laugh

@sirterryhoosh2779

2 жыл бұрын

He is good at replying on his own vids. He replied to me.

@georgebook1723

2 жыл бұрын

He replies on Instagram

@snapitinmyanal5870

2 жыл бұрын

what is wrong with you. shut up

I could watch this for days..

Brutal and absolutely hilarious 😂

My favourite stand up !

There's always that joke when you say "OH, oh jesus, yup that's the one that got me!"

He is truly evil love it 😂👍

Excellent as always

100% top comic keep it up Gary 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👍👍

Brutally wonderful.

some of those jokes were savage and i loved 'em

Gifted funny smart comedian

The only reason I'm complaining about this is because I want to hear more of them.

i hope there will always be comedians who are willing to do accept whatever criticism they may get in order to make the rest of us laugh. Keep it up brother.

That's the funniest thing I've seen in a while🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Priceless!

I've only heard Gary on Mock the Week. This was so refreshing as I love offensive jokes and a bit of swearing!

Shouldn’t that be called ‘Behead and Shoulders’

Absolute quality Mr D 😂😂😂

Absolutely brilliant

I’m supposed to be going to sleep for work but I’m creased at this 🤣🤣🤣

Phenomenal as always

l've known about this cat for just a few days and l'm smitten with him. l'm not sure what i'm more gobsmacked by... the brilliantly tasteless jokes or his wonderful, amazed laughter between them! l came ohm an hour ago, in a shite mood, and NOW l FEEL GREAT! The beer and the cookie and the gin and the smokes account for mebbe 47.38571% of that. Dave who?

Would love to see Gary Lineker's reaction to this performance.

Fukin brilliant made me laugh out loud a lot

🤣🤣🤣 Paul's laughing at the end

Love it!!

Just seen him tonight at a sell out show in Lancaster.....howling!🤣🤣🤣

These are fantastic

So good. So very good.

I like it a lot...Gary is GREAT

These are amazing

Excellent work

The Jimmy carr of wish laugh got me the most 😂

I wish to complain! Nearly broke my ribs laughing.

Absolutely brilliant!! Doesn’t give a fuck, just how comedians should be I think

Gary is fucking brutal. Love him ❤

Freedom of speech. Beautiful 😍

Pure class.

Brutal :)

Funny fella....didn't know James wade did comedy aswell as darts...

@manutddachamps08

2 жыл бұрын

Haha that’s what I was thinking

Awesome! 🤘🎸😎

I think Gary is brilliant. It`s a joke, the only people who get offended are those who want to be offended. I visualize all his jokes and that is what his humour is all about. He`s a top comedian. I can`t wait to see him. Gary keep being yourself !!

Some real gems in there

I love this guy.

"Shoulders" lol

The pedo in a florist had me creasing

Awesome!!! :)

I’m glad he kept it decent this time

"Shoulders" hahahahaha can't get enought hahahaha offensive? no, funny. Big diff.

Brilliant stuff

Absolute genius.

Absolute superb comedian and everyone needs to remember it’s really just word play

Gary, these are brilliant observations of like.

Defo mixed one liners there 😂 Didn't know if I was knob for laughing a certain one's 🤷‍♂️

Not even Jimmy carr or frankie Boyle can touch the snatches joke! Legend

Quality!!!

Bloody Brilliant 🤣

Keep up the jokes lov them

freaking hilarious!!

Excellent

Nice to see gary.

Superb😂😂

Keep telling them 👌

Love it

Absolutely fucking awesome 🤣🤣🤣👍

Brilliant

I get offended by jokes all the time. Bad jokes that is, that miss the mark! These are not that. Gary is hilarious. 😂