To hear more from Dr. Janja Lalich, watch our latest video where she compares online conspiracy groups and cults >> kzread.info/dash/bejne/kYalsMduedXWgJs.html

@amlaaaa479

2 жыл бұрын

I'd really like to know if it's ever possible for a cult to be good? I mean, there must be groups with a leader where the leader is a good person, doing good things

@ceridwynnhaven6236

2 жыл бұрын

Cool!!! Thank you!!! Loved this & myself as well as many others would love to see her on here again!!! ✨✨✨

@stalinsmum6475

2 жыл бұрын

Wierd question, is she slavic?

@wombat.6652

2 жыл бұрын

@@amlaaaa479 If it is open, and doing good things, It is probably called something totally different. The trick is Honesty, openness, doing good things, accountable for actions, that would be called something like "good leadership", think of a volunteer group that works. Example, St John's Ambulance. I'm sure you can think of more examples, that's just one I volunteered for. It is things like secrecy, hidden agendas, people cannot leave easily if they change their mind, that make it a cult. * I am a survivor.

@lordsneed9418

2 жыл бұрын

according to janja's definition of a cult, if you took a cult and its leader was assassinated or disappeared, and every member of the cult continued following the same rules and indoctrinating others with the same belief system and using hte same systems of social control, then that would no longer be a cult. Wow, what a great "expert".

A cult with just two people is called an abusive relationship.

@mercypk972

2 жыл бұрын

This comment is underrated

@kas1680

2 жыл бұрын

Well to be honest it's kind of true

@jellyfishlotusdream

2 жыл бұрын

Lmfao

@hallm3lbp

2 жыл бұрын

I would say a 1on1 cult is a type of abusive relationship. There’s a lot of psychological manipulation involved that forms a very unique relationship dynamic.

@leafyveins4985

2 жыл бұрын

Oweee you did that!! I've thought this as well. It is so true, especially with narcissists.

"When are we ever gonna get a cult leader who's a good guy"? -somebody who's VERY susceptible to being brought into a cult

@JustAgreekPassing

11 ай бұрын

It happens, but we don't define them as cults. Hippies always had that one "wisdom guru" around to keep them uplifted. We wouldn't call that person a cult leader though because as opposed to manipulation, he will spread good will and free spiritness.

@Karak-_-

11 ай бұрын

Manipulation is not mutually exclusive with good will or free spritness.

@dreugh424

11 ай бұрын

​@@JustAgreekPassing I would be willing to wager that many new age gurus, if not the vast majority, are manipulating their audiences for money. Fiscal control.

@stuartday1330

10 ай бұрын

​@@JustAgreekPassingno cult leader is a good person not even your wise guru ask The Beatles about their guru that took them for a fortune.

@Pawtacle

10 ай бұрын

@@stuartday1330 As they said, we just don't actually define them as cults. There are actual "wise gurus" out there and they may gather a group around them and be chill and all but that's the point - the guru in that scenario is not a *cult* leader, they're just a leader. It's just that some people *see* groups like that as cults even though they don't fit the definition.

I love how WIRED combines very interesting questions with absolute dumbest questions I've ever seen

@CHRB-nn6qp

9 ай бұрын

Dichotomy of twitter

@amberturdcoloringbook1733

18 күн бұрын

Donald Trump is the most successful cult leader.

I remember learning in sociology about a cult researcher who investigated the Moonies and actually ended up joining them. That really shows how persuasive a cult can be to the most skeptical person.

@AlisonBryen

Жыл бұрын

Yes. I learned this in sociology, too, over 20 years ago!

@JaylukKhan

Жыл бұрын

The current head of the Westboro Baptist Church originally approached them as an investigative journalist.

@ignatiusjackson235

Жыл бұрын

College kids, especially in fields like sociology, make for perfect cult members.

@zaynes5094

Жыл бұрын

@@ignatiusjackson235 True. Smart, intuitive, yet easily manipulated in that they want for information and they want to dig deep into researching this cult, and all of a sudden they realize too late that they're already being inducted into that cult. Textbook narcissism.

@kittypeanut4102

Жыл бұрын

​@@zaynes5094 narcissism? How so?

I love that she calls Manson 'Charles' like his disapproving grandmother.

@averongodoffire8098

2 жыл бұрын

“Aw jeez Charles is at it again🙄 boy needs to swiffen up or else!”

@Mistyeyez2024

2 жыл бұрын

LOL

@mmmm-lg2mj

2 жыл бұрын

Oop

@raquelsrefurbishings8346

2 жыл бұрын

Yesss lol

@betsady4076

2 жыл бұрын

a very disappointed but understanding grandma.

"Maybe they just don't like you" the way she said this is just pure gold LMAOO

@NowayYeswayMmmHmm

2 жыл бұрын

I was wait for them to put the 🕶 on her and play that gangster song

@janellerosePH

2 жыл бұрын

5:22

@TheTilitus

2 жыл бұрын

Yeah!

@kyetes.866

2 жыл бұрын

I need her to be MY neighbor. I'll bring her baked goods in exchange for interesting stories and the no-nonsense sass.

@benderrodriguez5425

2 жыл бұрын

I heard it, want to the comments snd ypurs was the first one. Coincidents? I think not!

She would be an amazing teacher, she corrects people without any condescension and explains things so well and in an engaging manner. I could listen to her all day

@sup.2318

Жыл бұрын

She is a professor of sociology at the California State University

@crlody3045

13 күн бұрын

She's a fake scholar who spoke to one former member of the Heaven's Gate group, the only one known to have gone to a cult de-programmer. And yet she wrote her PhD and first book about Heaven's Gate. Despite the dozens of former members out there she chose to speak to the one who went to a cult de-programmer. That's not scholarship, that's manipulation of the data to fit a pre-conceived agenda.

I grew up in a church that basically devolved into a cult. After my family got out, i was so legitimately shocked to find how kind and accepting other churches were in comparison

@tommyl5319

5 ай бұрын

I've found that even within the same type pf Christian group, it can depend a lot on the people at the specific place you go

@pbrfan7141

3 күн бұрын

LDS ?

@captainbirch2.079

3 күн бұрын

@@pbrfan7141 what?

@pbrfan7141

2 күн бұрын

@@captainbirch2.079 Mormon

@Hollyucinogen

Күн бұрын

​@@pbrfan7141LDS. It's a branch of Mormonism. They have a whole bunch of weird rules that other religious groups don't. For example, among other things, they're not allowed to drink coffee or tea. They're not allowed to gamble. They're not allowed to drink alcohol. They're not allowed to be dishonest. They're not allowed to socialize with "outsiders".

As a person born in a cult, don't forget that some people are born into cults! It's often not a choice. The "average person" can get roped into a cult, too.

@dlal2808

2 жыл бұрын

Absolutely right. I mean just look at how many innocent children are indocrinated into the catholic cult.

@creati_lo533

2 жыл бұрын

69 ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

@gabia.575

2 жыл бұрын

@@dlal2808 did you watch the video stating differences between religion and cults?

@magosexploratoradeon6409

2 жыл бұрын

@@dlal2808 Christianity isnt a cult.

@polyminutes8788

2 жыл бұрын

@@magosexploratoradeon6409 yes I do agree, if it is then alot of cultures like Japan is a cult then

I love her completely logical life progression. I left a cult… now I’m a sociologist specializing in cults.

@marcushendriksen8415

Жыл бұрын

She's like Jane Goodall for cults, lmao

@dogalrorn

Жыл бұрын

Redemption arc. Now all she needs is to bust them.

@thatonequeergundamfan71

Жыл бұрын

@@dogalrorn cult busters

@wood_sorrel

Жыл бұрын

Props to her honestly

@anotherguy9402

Жыл бұрын

This is undermining her true potential. She should become a cult leader 😃

As someone currently trying leave a cult (held back by parents), I appreciate all the different point of view with all these questions

@willemijnmadeleine7164

Жыл бұрын

Good luck! Wishing you all truth and strength ❤

@lorisewsstuff1607

Жыл бұрын

Bless you. I hope you make it. Sending you warm thoughts.

@stuartblittley3531

Жыл бұрын

wishing you luck! i hope you succeed.

@dbappio

Жыл бұрын

thanks guys, my siblings are going through the same situation and we plan to break the truth to our parents once we all move out. i'm still in college, so once i graduate i should be on the right path to being financially stable for myself

@dreugh424

11 ай бұрын

​@@dbappio Good for you guys. Power to you.

This content is both cathartic and deeply triggering for me. I was in a small, private cult for 10 years. So many of us have nameless experiences that never hit the mainstream and suffered in secret. It's important that content like this teaches other people what to look for and to help identify vulnerable people in a way to reach out to them before the cult does.

@pinklion26

Жыл бұрын

Which cult?

@kwonjin-ho2294

Жыл бұрын

​@@pinklion26 What part of "Small, private" and "Nameless experience" is foreign to you? You realize there's probably hundreds, no thousands of unnamed cults built on families right?

@dreugh424

11 ай бұрын

​@@pinklion26 Try reading it again

@gmmartines7331

7 ай бұрын

​@@dreugh424maybe you should try reading it again. She said many of the members are nameless as their cult hasn't reached mainstream audiences. How does that translate to "on a platform with over 2 billion users it is impossible that there would be one other person on this video specifically about cults that might have heard of the one I'm referring to". To be so sarcastic to a stranger who's not even speaking to you, you must be quite a miserable person.

@spacefoo-zh6ph

6 ай бұрын

I was also forcibly indoctrinated into a mental health cult as a kid, it was framed as a self help workshop/definitely not an MLM. They would spend an entire weekend depriving you of sleep and verbally abusing you while sprinkling mental health buzzwords into their “certified coaches” speeches. I’m pretty sure there was at least two instances of people committing sujcjde afterwards.

Ending a cult by democratically voting out the dictator like leader is a surprisingly heartwarming story.

@ahhh4117

2 жыл бұрын

This left wing political cult: We developed the very thing we swore to destroy, an authoritarian leader

@SalreixVonOtsuu

2 жыл бұрын

tbh it sounds too good to be true, it would be a complete failure of the cult leader for such a thing to happen so easily "and then everyone lived happily ever after"

@palatusgames8800

2 жыл бұрын

@@ahhh4117 🤡

@arturocevallossoto5203

2 жыл бұрын

The leader obviously failed to put a stop to it. That's why purges are necessary, but probably there where already not that many members to afford it.

@AndysamBlack

2 жыл бұрын

What cult was that anyway, I've never heard about it before.

"Not every religion becomes a cult, and not every cult becomes a religion." I like that she said that.

@whatisthisalgorithm

2 жыл бұрын

Me too. I often have to pretend not to notice the remarks about me being blinded and lied to, my mom always took me to church and my dad thinks I’m sacrificing my intelligence by being a Christian as an adult. I still have freedom. I’ve read the Hunger Games, I listen to show tunes, and I don’t feel any guilt wearing shorts in the summer. I don’t wear short shorts and I don’t particularly like music with curse words, but cults have Thought Police.

@luchts4547

2 жыл бұрын

I think most if not all religions are extremely close to being cults, but maybe the only saving grace of the more palatable ones is that there isn't much enforcement of the rules, they just threaten you that it will be enforced (judged) after you die to try and scare you into following them now.

@steelbear2063

2 жыл бұрын

There's no fundamental difference between a religion and a cult. The only difference is the attitude. But that's not much. She talks how a cult dictates what you should wear, who you should marry. Yeah, like a religion

@steelbear2063

2 жыл бұрын

@@whatisthisalgorithm You have freedom because Christianity lost much of its control. It's not about them being chill and letting you do what you like, it's about not having the power to enforce those rules.

@zestybutterfly7161

2 жыл бұрын

@@steelbear2063 Governments do the same thing.

10:48 I'm definitely not an expert, but I know people who'se family or themselves were part of a cult, and something she didn't point out is that some cults persuade you to join, not by offering you to change the world or a greater purpose, they simply grant you something they know you need with urgency. This initial offer may come in the form of financial aid, housing, a job, or just a general sense of safety and stability, at least in the beginning. This generates a sense of gratitude, debt or even reverence pretty quickly. That is part of the reason why some people have a hard time leaving, they are attached to the first impression of the cult being the generous benefactor/savior that helped them out of a tough situation or that they have a pending debt with them that they will never finish to pay.

I wish that she'd have touched on Scientology a bit. This was very informative though, love her straight forward answers.

@prestonjones1653

Жыл бұрын

Apparently she's terrified of the backlash, Scientologists are dangerous.

@stuff1784

Жыл бұрын

If she talked about Scientology more, they would find her and make her disappear.

@moleholedotcom

Жыл бұрын

They are a text book cult. Disgusting human rights violations are happening in that "religion" on the daily and no one seems concerned.

@tyrant-den884

Жыл бұрын

Happy Science cults have way too much power. gets scary.

@aliencafe

4 ай бұрын

It’s such a legal minefield, if you speak out against them with a platform you WILL get put on their list and harassed nonstop. I really want them to be exposed, but it’s scary dangerous to do that. Maybe one day escapees like her will change things, I feel like they’ve got the best chance of doing good.

"When are we gonna see a cult leader thats really just a chill guy?" I dont think this person understands the type of cults we are talking about here.

@simoneroets4382

2 жыл бұрын

They start out looking chill and actually spend time with the first people hanging out with them. Then, as more people joins them, the power and influence goes to their head and they become more and more un-chilled. Only when they reach a certain level of un-chilledness, a group technically becomes a cult.

@simoneroets4382

2 жыл бұрын

@@RideForRuin Maybe? People came to him after the apocalypse. He didn't preach for years about an apocalypse that never came. And he wasn't obsessed about the after life and what planet they're gonna inhabit. But yeah, him and probably Alpha too. Like half the leaders in that universe is sociopathic with a bunch of followers, but all the members had real reasons to join, not some hypothetical end of the world. I see them as like old tribal leaders. Some are good, some are bad, some are naive, but their end game is survival and not giving up land to people with bigger guns.

@4635683763

2 жыл бұрын

Right? lol we're talking cults...not bands

@fcasias7

2 жыл бұрын

Not to mention the type of personality that would build a cult. Definitely not not a "chill guy" type of personality

@Midnightpierogi

2 жыл бұрын

Jared Leto?

Get this woman a PODCAST

@caeleychia8460

2 жыл бұрын

I don't think she has one, but she did do a fantastic interview on the podcast 'A Little Bit Culty' :D

@zweij

2 жыл бұрын

How about reading her books?

@lordfarquaad8267

2 жыл бұрын

Like, now.

@lordfarquaad8267

2 жыл бұрын

Like, now.

@PrettyPinkPeacock

2 жыл бұрын

Similar podcast: Oh No Ross and Carrie

I was in a cult for 8 years. I'm still in the thick of my spiritual battle but I'm grateful I was rescued. 🙏❤️

About the question about is cult members are already insane when they join: I HIGHLY recommend Dianne Lake’s book “member of the family”. She joined the Manson family at 14 and was EXTREMELY vulnerable. Her parents had become hippies and gave her lsd/weed at 12. She was put in compromising positions that NO child should ever be put in (older men taking inappropriate pictures of her, etc). She didn’t really have a chance at the time. Luckily she was able to get on a better path after the murders

"Cult leaders are not gonna be chill." seems fair.

@Gr3nadgr3gory

2 жыл бұрын

I am, but then again my cult doesn't care about much.

@ayoy7070

2 жыл бұрын

@@Gr3nadgr3gory then that’s just a group of like minded people, not a cult, and if you are actively exercising power and control over your people then you probably aren’t that chill, you can be a leader of a group without it being a cult but idk your whole dynamic

@Jake-rj6ql

2 жыл бұрын

Lmao 🤣

@gummy5862

2 жыл бұрын

@@Gr3nadgr3gory Don’t call groups cults just to be edgy. Words have real meanings.

@Gr3nadgr3gory

2 жыл бұрын

@@gummy5862 that's why we call all religions cults.

Such an intelligent woman, she tells it like it is, but she’s never condescending

@1ChxnceLxnce

2 жыл бұрын

Even though she was duped into joining a cult?

@littleblueclovers

2 жыл бұрын

@@1ChxnceLxnce Sometimes cults drag you in after they got your friends or family members. Some also start really slow, when you’re young or going through devastating life events. It has less to do with intelligence. Not to mention she’s definitely learned a lot after that experience

@keepmovingforward1722

2 жыл бұрын

Like a cult leader…

@Br00ke291

2 жыл бұрын

@@keepmovingforward1722 sure but doesn’t make her one

@Takumi_Did_Nothing_Wrong

2 жыл бұрын

@@1ChxnceLxnce Even the most intelligent of people can get sucked into cults.

I was in college in the early 1970's. How I remained out of a cult is a miracle. Representatives of so many (Children of God, Moonies) were everywhere on campuses.

I left a cult that I was a part of for 20+ years. The leader is a high level martial arts master who uses his charisma and his status as the "soke" of his system to manipulate people. Seeing as he and his members are highly trained martial artists, I have my friends Smith and Wesson with me everywhere I go.

I almost dieddddd when the question "why the Nike shoes...." came up and she said "There was a complete lack of individuality", that was an epic fashion roast without even meaning to be.

@agirlisnoone5953

2 жыл бұрын

K but not really a roast to nike, if thats what you getting at.

@simgirl118

2 жыл бұрын

Lmao I'm glad you pointed that out considering everyone has matching Nike shoes and a lack of individuality with fashion 😂

@Quasi_Fungi

2 жыл бұрын

Its because when they were trying to buy shoes for everyone, they got a really good deal on the nikes so they bought them, thats it

@queenofyasrabien

2 жыл бұрын

@@agirlisnoone5953 not a roast to nike but to the majority of people

@a3kings

2 жыл бұрын

I had the same thought. :) NICE unintentional BURN

Wow, she’s very charismatic. Does she have some sort of group we could join?

@j3llyb33

2 жыл бұрын

lmao

@jiyama

2 жыл бұрын

😭

@mr2seis388

2 жыл бұрын

A cult?

@AdamSmith75th

2 жыл бұрын

That’s so funny, I was going to post the same kinda joke. Beat me to it in style

@annaohare8263

2 жыл бұрын

Lmao

I hope she introduces herself to new people as "HI! I used to be in a cult!" honestly she's so charming and informative.

@pbrfan7141

3 күн бұрын

I love your photo icon 🫶🏼🫶🏼🌈

I was in a very small abusive cult my mom was brainwashed within one week. I was a kid so what mom said went. Starvation, sleep deprivation, constant monologs... will get to anyone.

Yeah, when I heard that "Why can't a leader of a cult just be a nice person?" question I was thinking, if they were a nice person the group they'd be leading wouldn't be a cult. It'd be a charitable organization, or a fan club, or a philosophy or a religion.

@rachelcookie321

2 жыл бұрын

I think it’s possible for them to be nice but be mentally ill.

@joostdriesens3984

2 жыл бұрын

@@rachelcookie321 In order to get the necessary control to grow a cult a leader would have to use bad behaviours like lying and deceiving, so by definition it would not be a nice person. The cult leader might use 'nice behaviour' as a tool to deceive and manipulate.

@rachelcookie321

2 жыл бұрын

@@joostdriesens3984 doing bad things doesn’t necessarily make someone a bad person. If someone did bad things because they were mentally ill I don’t think that makes them a bad person.

@joostdriesens3984

2 жыл бұрын

@@rachelcookie321 It is kind of complex issue, what does make one a bad person?😅

@chilliinsanity6898

2 жыл бұрын

All religion is a cult... by definition.. not saying all religion is bad though, just I mean be realistic.

My dad grew up in a very strict religious cult and managed to escape - but he also is an extremely manipulative narcissist. When she said that cults could be just two people.... everything clicked. He literally created his own cult within our family where everything revolved around what he wanted or felt and I imagine growing up in a cult and never knowing how to interact normally only made this worse. Every dinner was a sob story to get us to feel bad for him and his childhood (yes every dinner) and we had to praise him for his kindness and generosity or cooking skills or profound intelligence etc. even when it wasn't really the case. Now I know why I felt like I escaped just as much as he had. wow.

@eriklona8806

2 жыл бұрын

Reminds me a little of American History X. The older brother obviously being in a bigger organization, white supremacists, but the reason being that his father made some "solid points" during dinner conversations, leading to the plot of the story and the younger brother not only continuing in his father's and brother's footsteps, but soon realizing it and changing his mindset... although too late. I still think that movie stands out as a type of cult movie, where it's easy to see how someone who needs someone to look up to can be taken on such a hateful path, because they think it's the right one.

@bloodyhell47

2 жыл бұрын

I hope you will no be like your dad next

@xieshen5829

2 жыл бұрын

Woah!!! I don't know that type of people exist! I thought it's only on drama or something...

@S3IYAA

2 жыл бұрын

@@xieshen5829 same here 😦 but now i think their voices should be heard more

@elenav.5470

2 жыл бұрын

reminds me of my past and current situation, best wishes and good on you for getting ouy!

I left the Army and then realized that it was definitely cultlike. It permanently changed my brain but sometimes I really miss it.

I love how she alludes to Scientology soooo many times throughout this video without actually naming Scientology. That Joaquin Phoenix film is about L.R. Hubbard and Scientology, as well.

"Why are the neighbors baricading themselves away?" "Maybe they don't like you." Absolutely killer line. I love this woman

@SolutionsNotPrayers

2 жыл бұрын

Doomsday Preppers. They think the Vaccinated will become Zombies eventually. I got a few neighbors like that, they're using Shipping Containers as a barricade, and they have Trump Flags all over the place, so they're not too bright either.

@nobody3856

2 жыл бұрын

@@SolutionsNotPrayers when I first read your comment I was so confused xdd I was like what

@marcobott4331

2 жыл бұрын

Lmao true

@maneitzme

2 жыл бұрын

soon he can go to church with you t ur yutÿii out to the ty try to try yet to see what it is lol you are just a red ty ty to try ur it to put it on the

@SolutionsNotPrayers

2 жыл бұрын

@Jack Roosevelt happens to the best of us, I'll delete that comment. Sorry.

As someone who grew up in a cult (Scientology), I appreciate you for speaking out.

@andreay9935

2 жыл бұрын

Wow congratulations for being liberated. I imagine it so much recovery, but I hope for a successful recovery. Take care.

@elijahgavin6706

2 жыл бұрын

Did you go on to join the CCP cult?

@nousernamewhatsoever

2 жыл бұрын

Went to your channel and listened to your story. You're amazing!! Much respect to you!

@miri283

2 жыл бұрын

@@elijahgavin6706 you’ve joined the reddit cult i see

@johndotto2773

2 жыл бұрын

@Laura Kay Chinese Communist Party

This is so educating. This woman is well-spoken and interesting.

"A religion may have some guidelines for you to live by, like be a good person, be kind to your neighbor... Don't use contraception" I lived my whole life not knowing how much I needed this woman

Please bring this woman back. She is fascinating!

@mohamedraaifrushdhy6693

2 жыл бұрын

Maybe we are in a cult. I mean think about it she has charisma and we are wanting more.

@Kylefassbinderful

2 жыл бұрын

Janja is dope. She is partially why the HBO Heaven's Gate doc is so great. Her and Sawyer.

@happyhonest6639

2 жыл бұрын

@@Kylefassbinderful what do you mean dope?

@aquasmoke8539

2 жыл бұрын

@@happyhonest6639 dope means dope you dumbo

@farzomafarkhundafar4376

2 жыл бұрын

Yes!!

I do wish more people would realize that it's a lot easier for the "average" person to get roped into a cult than they might believe. People aren't stupid or gullible for joining cults; they've likely been preyed upon by charismatic people who have an agenda and saw a person who was very vulnerable. In a manner of speaking, it could happen to anyone given the circumstances.

@rev.rachel

2 жыл бұрын

It’s true. I think that might be one of the most damaging misconceptions about cults because people end up not watching out for themselves as much as they could. Not that it’s your fault if you end up caught in a cult, but it would reduce people’s risk if more knew how easy it is to get sucked in.

@tahsina.c

2 жыл бұрын

Fandoms are a low vibration cults, basically.

@three_iii9198

2 жыл бұрын

Cults always prey on the vulnerable

@wynterlevi7431

2 жыл бұрын

This is exactly why I don't trust humans.

@leifanderson3487

2 жыл бұрын

Most people need a reason to exist, and cult leaders know that.

What an amazing person this Dr. is! I am looking for some of her papers. She's humble and brilliant.

Fabulous. Have this woman back for more questions. She's fantastic.

As an ex cult member I can’t thank Dr. Janja Lalich enough. Her books helped me understand the harmful and dangerous environment I was raised in. Really glad to see her spreading awareness about cults as many don’t understand how pervasive and damaging they can be. As well as how easily someone can get sucked up in them.

@krissyanderson4792

2 жыл бұрын

So glad you’re doing okay ❤️❤️

@InsecticideV

2 жыл бұрын

I remember the weird death cult I was raised in. Jesus.

@khatunamezvrishvili6211

2 жыл бұрын

@@InsecticideV can you elaborate?

@ry4nmaster

2 жыл бұрын

You must be an idiot to be in one in the 1st place

@apryhan

2 жыл бұрын

You must be weak to be in a cult in the first place

The more you learn about cults, the more you realize anything can be a cult, and anyone could be caught in one. It's such a fascinating study of human nature.

@ynln2233

2 жыл бұрын

The more you think about it, kpop is kind of a cult too.

@julesbrags1661

2 жыл бұрын

By your implication, anything with an extremely devoted fanbase, a unifying belief and a figurehead idol is already a cult. Kpop, Pop music fanbases, politicians and their followers, and heck even Elon Musk and his space zealots defending him of everything accused of him in social media. It's almost an inherent trait for humans to find something they will ''worship". Even those who say they don't worship or idolize anyone, it's more likely for them to be worshipping themselves or whatever valuable stuff they think will give them happiness and fulfillment in their life.

@Lycaon1765

2 жыл бұрын

The more I learn about cults the more I see that people just call anything they don't like a cult and the word has become diluted of meaning.

@blippypippy8167

2 жыл бұрын

@@Lycaon1765 absolutely. I'm so glad you see that.

@DMDadventures

2 жыл бұрын

Then this means im already part of 10 cults

I love this expert. She really gave me a perspective of more compassion for cult members. The point that intimate partner violence or dv is just a cult of 2 is really insightful.

Best description of NXIUM/Keith Rainiere I've heard yet. This incredible sociologist's summarization skills are unmet

I like that she’s straight foreword with her answers, but not condescending about it and that she not ashamed to talk about her past with a cult. I wouldn’t blame her if she never wanted to talk about it.

@user-sk9bx8st5o

2 жыл бұрын

The point of this video is for her to be straightforward and honest

@annabrosowsky5250

2 жыл бұрын

@@user-sk9bx8st5o That may be the point of the video, but that does not make it and less admirable.

@dowfreak7

2 жыл бұрын

It's important to get rid of the idea that a cult has to be scientology or Manson levels of members and insanity to "count". The boy scout thing I was in as a teenager could be considered a religious cult, given their strict rules they imposed on the kids there, the indoctrination of the younger children that happened at their churches and the way logic was often shunned. I wouldn't say I "escaped" it or that it was a mass suicide group in the making, but cult-like groups are really easy to find and that should be recognized and acted upon.

I escaped a cult four years ago. It completely altered my life. And it wasn't a Jonestown or a Waco. The destructiveness of cults hinges on a dozen psychological variables, and often isn't provocative enough for a Netflix documentary.

@pandasan406

Жыл бұрын

It's incredibly brave of you to have gotten out, and I hope you're doing okay !

@purr4829

Жыл бұрын

Did you healed ? Or get insane trauma

@hangliu569

Жыл бұрын

I just Wana ask how you got in to it bc for me I don't know how people get influenced to that degree. I'm just really curious. No hate to anyone. Just Trina get informed here

@nicholasbogosian5420

Жыл бұрын

@@hangliu569 to what degree? Cults aren't the highly publicized version of people doing truly delusional things. The psychological influence in cults can be found isolated within the general culture as well. Tribalism is just a more normalized and more subdued version of what happens in cults. Can't really explain it in a YT comment.

@hangliu569

Жыл бұрын

@@nicholasbogosian5420 I guess I never thought about that. Really eye opening. I might be alot harder to influence than other people just bc of the life and poeple I grew up around. How that u say that. Yea cult doesn't have to be obvious. It can maybe be seen as just a quirky weired group of friends.

The best one of these types of videos - I could’ve listen for another two hours.

I love this lady. She is so good at explaining things and seems very kind. I'm glad you got out of the situation you were in, and used your experience to help others. Bless.

I liked her charisma. It was hysterical to hear "Maybe they just don't like you!" or "Who would follow a weirdo?"

@erikjohnsen3978

Жыл бұрын

Did you just join her cult?

@icauser44

Жыл бұрын

@@erikjohnsen3978 huh?

@culwin

11 ай бұрын

I agree, I really like her personality. Would you be interested in joining a group I've started which follows her teachings? Our regular fees are low and we do not require much of your time.

@user-pt6nk1cv4z

11 ай бұрын

​@@culwin lol I'm in. I was gonna be rude af and say something like she could never be a cult leader bc she's not very charismatic/endearing to listen to...but that's not cool to say

Wired never fails to bring in the most charismatic and engaging speakers out there for us.

@tabeebrahman4843

2 жыл бұрын

Maybe wired is a cult??

@kylewilliams8114

2 жыл бұрын

@@tabeebrahman4843 maybe the real cult was the cults we made along the way

@DelphinusMAch1

2 жыл бұрын

Next: cult leader talks about how to build a cult

@ujyantramesh8505

2 жыл бұрын

Except Brie Larson

@monkiram

2 жыл бұрын

@@kylewilliams8114 😂🤣🤣

What scares me about cults is that I recognize my own susceptibility to them. Like, I'm not saying I am going to join a cult tonight, but my humanity makes me vulnerable. Like, come five years down the road, I've lost my job, my partner has left, my finances are a mess and life has got me beat down. Here comes some narcissist that promises me heaven. How tempting would their offer of deliverance be? The reality is that I don't know, and that scares me, and should scare all of us. It's easy to make fun of cults, but we are not so different after all.

Wow, I was hoping the video would never end, I could listen to her for hours

This woman is fascinating. She explains things in such a smart, but human way. I want more!

@SarcastHandleNotAvailable

2 жыл бұрын

that's how a cult is formed, congrats! :D

@yael8754

2 жыл бұрын

@@SarcastHandleNotAvailable did you even watch the video?

@locochang6533

2 жыл бұрын

Ok cultist

@Br00ke291

2 жыл бұрын

@@locochang6533 dude what

@Br00ke291

2 жыл бұрын

@@SarcastHandleNotAvailable no? They just enjoy her and would like more content with her.

A comparison I’ve heard for getting into a cult is that it’s like an abusive relationship. Nobody wants to be in an abusive relationship, nobody signs up to join an abusive relationship, and you don’t realize until you are leaving or have left that it was actually an abusive relationship. The human mind is very weak and easy to manipulate so literally anybody could join a cult, just like anyone could get into an abusive relationship. Idk how accurate this is but it really helped me understand how someone could join a cult… plain and simply, it doesn’t seem like a cult when you start. Just like an abusive relationship doesn’t look like an abusive relationship when you start.

@yoongitrash2699

2 жыл бұрын

yeah cults are abusive relationships on a larger scale

@aliasfakename2267

2 жыл бұрын

I'm a loner atheist with oppositional defiance, I can't even conceive of joining a cult. I have no desire to join a group or fit in.

@otachuable

2 жыл бұрын

She mentioned that a cult can consist of only 2 people. In that sense, abusive relationship is really just a cult, and a cult is just another term for an abusive relationship.

@UltraBran

2 жыл бұрын

Chances are you're in a cult right now, but unaware of it.

@thegreatleaderjimpickens7919

2 жыл бұрын

@@aliasfakename2267 basically.. emo?

I have escaped & you are right it was the hardest thing I have ever done but I am glad I escaped!! Your presentations is amazing, thank you!!

This was so interesting to listen to! Great content 👍🏼

Her story how she dissolved a whole cult like wow props to her and the members for standing up to the leader. It's not easy to get yourself out let alone dissolve the whole cult that's amazing in its own right.

@gummy5862

2 жыл бұрын

I can’t help but think that “expel” is code for something else they did to her. 👀

@jfdfdjdndndndndndndnfnbd

2 жыл бұрын

@@gummy5862 what do u mean? /gen

@gummy5862

2 жыл бұрын

@@jfdfdjdndndndndndndnfnbd 🔪

@TheBalloonBob

2 жыл бұрын

@Robert Arnold there is no christian cult. Christianity has never been a cult, but a religion, as said in the video. But i guess what you're referring to is the dogmatic following of right wing leaders who claim to be Christian in America. Also when did Christianity become such a right wing thing lol.

@robert9595

2 жыл бұрын

@Robert Arnold and yet you're blind to the literal cult in leadership at the moment.

"Cult leaders are not going to be chill" - something a real person had to say

@guh3805

2 жыл бұрын

if the cult leader is chill,then it isn’t a cult

@TheEnmineer

2 жыл бұрын

@@guh3805 Or, you just can't see that they're not chill. We are limited in our perceptions after all.

@seymonsolomon9545

2 жыл бұрын

I think the person that was asking was watching a little bit too much Umbrella Academy😭

@chrismanuel9768

2 жыл бұрын

A chill cult leader is just the president of a youth outreach. If it's a cult, they ain't chill.

@-avril2643

2 жыл бұрын

@@guh3805 this^

I really appreciate the way you explain the issues in cults.

I had a friend who joined the Rajaneeshis with her boyfriend back in 1979 or 1980, and I still wonder what became of her and wish I could see her again.

You should really get this Janja lady back. She's well spoken, well educated, and she's got enough dry snark to be funny but not mean. She corrects people but in a firm yet nice way and on top of having a soothing voice to listen to she never stutters or has to stop and think about what she's going to say. I would definitely watch another video with her.

@teruterujasu

2 жыл бұрын

was going to write a comment similar to this, but you wrote all my thoughts out already, and so well too! would love to see this lady back again also!!

@pb7378

Жыл бұрын

Dr*

I love her compassionate and matter-of-fact delivery. Her point about online cults is so relevant, too. I think we're in a moment of political instability and upset similar to the 1970's, and with the increasing popularity of alternative spiritual practices and stuff on TikTok and other sites, I worry that we could be in for another cult wellspring! Really good to give a platform to these kinds of speakers

@AmyC37217

2 жыл бұрын

America is a hotbed of cults due to "religious freedom". The first big birth of them happened in the 1820s to 1860s. They're now known as the Evangelical denominations.

@Nocturne22

2 жыл бұрын

You're really worried about TikTok?

@NotKimiRaikkonen

2 жыл бұрын

@@Nocturne22 it's run by the Chinese government...

@saragarofano6471

2 жыл бұрын

Yeah be careful out there. VERY careful

@cowbearrie

2 жыл бұрын

@@Nocturne22 Well there was something that I won't say is a cult but is very VERY similar to one that has a tiktok page. May be taken down by now but that's how they got new members I believe. If anyone wants to know the name it has to do with gardens.

“Maybe they don’t like you.” Savage honesty. Love it.

"Maybe they just don't like you." LOL so hilarious! Thanks Dr. Lalich. Learned something important today.

It's easy to say "I'd never get into a cult or an abusive relationship" when you look at these when they're at their 100, but people forget both cults and abusive relationship's start with a 1.

@LittleLehStar

Жыл бұрын

I have always tried to explain this to people as the beginning to a Rollercoaster ride. Where at the beginning, you're really not that high up but it's a steady slow progression where the aggressor every so often pushes the limit just a little more. Then a little more, then a little more, then all of a sudden you are at the peak and you are too scared to fall.

@silvervixen007

Жыл бұрын

Yes and they can be 100 at times but then go back to 1 again so you are always craving for the 100

Kudos for her patience with some of these questions - having outside people say 'I could never be brainwashed' lowkey irritates me cos it's so insensitive towards the people that actually went through it. It's not as hard as it looks lakjsda

@Katharine888

2 жыл бұрын

It could cause shame in cult members, which could make it harder for them to speak up and change their situation. I wouldn't be surprised if cult leaders started that rumor.

@laurastevens8154

2 жыл бұрын

(Taehyung appreciation). It is always surprising to people how easily manipulated humans are. I think we are desensitised to it because of the amount of manipulation we face on a daily basis

@MR_3001

2 жыл бұрын

@@laurastevens8154 I feel like the more you think you are too smart to get manipulated, the easier you are to get manipulated

@laurastevens8154

2 жыл бұрын

@@MR_3001 Exactly, because your guard is non existent

@lick28

2 жыл бұрын

@@MR_3001 not me though, I'm very photosynthesis.

Dr. Lalich is legend! Very good content and presentation. Every American should watch this.

Awesome, well-informed, sypathetic lecturer! I love that Dr. Lalich makes it very, very clear that _logically_ , cults are looking for well-functioning, productive people because one of the main purposes of the cult is really to allow the leader to do noting but a bit of speechifying and otherwise lazing around.

My mom was in the people’s temple with my grandpa (her dad). They only survived because my grandmother wouldn’t let my mom go to Guyana, so my grandpa stayed behind with his daughter. Thank God!! They dodged a HUGE bullet.

@iamanidiotbut5523

2 жыл бұрын

What’s wrong with Guyana

@tybrown7112

2 жыл бұрын

They were all killed after they went to Guyana.

@Fantastikitty

2 жыл бұрын

A colleague of my dad and his father lost mother and sister to that and the younger brother ended up in prison for what happened there. I still remember how devastating it was to watch what happened there on the news. I think I was in fifth grade at the time so it's one of those weird formative memories. I am so glad your mom and grandfather didn't go.

@jfdfdjdndndndndndndnfnbd

2 жыл бұрын

@@iamanidiotbut5523 do you even know what the people's temple is if you dont know what the whole moving to guyana thing was? watch a documentary or something

@KillerLettuce

2 жыл бұрын

@@iamanidiotbut5523 It was where Jim Jones moved all his followers. Where they were all forced to commit suicide later on.

"Cult leaders are not gonna be chill." 😂👌 Her delivery of that line, is just...lol

I would listen to a show/ podcast with this lady SO HARD I LOVE HER

I have friends in a cult, but they don’t believe that it is one. It’s so depressing to witness and feel so helpless as they give so much of their time, energy, and money to this organization that is so harmful to so many people.

This lady should host a nextflix documentary series about cults.

@camerokid78

2 жыл бұрын

She did one for Hulu already

@Bagel_Le_Stinky

2 жыл бұрын

they should host a class for you because you can't even spell netflix

@AnthonyLopez-Adisa

2 жыл бұрын

Ew screw netflix. They suck, she deserves better

@AnthonyLopez-Adisa

2 жыл бұрын

@@camerokid78 wait really. Yasss no thats iconic

@AnthonyLopez-Adisa

2 жыл бұрын

@@Bagel_Le_Stinky sassy asf. Yassss

“Maybe they just don’t like you” Savage.

So brave speaking about her experience!

My dad always tells me "if someone tells you they have all the answers run the other way, thats a cult"

"People really be letting themselves be brainwashed like that?" Man, it felt like she held an exasperated sigh when she read that.

@squirrelcoom

2 жыл бұрын

It's like telling an abuse victim "just don't let them touch you, you silly"

@corriedebeer799

Жыл бұрын

You go up to a homeless person and ask them if they will listen to your sermon for a meal. See if they say no. These people target the weak and desperate. You will not see Scientology being defended on the veritas forum or the oxford debating society.

She needs a podcast or something. The way she explains it all is so straight forward and in a way that's easy to understand and digest.

@MsSphinx91

2 жыл бұрын

There's a podcast called IndoctriNation that's pretty interesting. The host is similar to the woman in the video in that she helps people who have left cults or abusive relationships.

@7913AJunior

2 жыл бұрын

If I remember correctly, she was on an episode of A Little Bit Culty. It's a pretty short podcast series hosted by two people who escaped NXIM (or however you spell it) and who talk to other cult victims and cult experts. It's really good.

5:23 "maybe your neighbors aren't starting a cult, they just don't like you" 😂💯 SAVAGE AF wow

Thank you very much! I enjoy listening to you.

Some of these questions are so condescending but she handled them so well I absolutely love her!

@adamcraig1468

2 жыл бұрын

The people asking, don't sound very intelligent

@apollo1573

2 жыл бұрын

“People really be letting themselves be brainwashed like that” 💀

Isn't another warning sign of cults the encouragement to break ties with anyone outside the cult, except in recruiting? As an outside, to me that would seem like the biggest red flag.

@KiraNightshade

2 жыл бұрын

I would think that's a strong possibility given that cults resemble abusive relationships on a larger scale.

@lindseytallent2855

2 жыл бұрын

That is another warning sign but again it doesn’t always happen

@oceanaxim

2 жыл бұрын

@@adamcraig1468 "Maybe they just don't like you."

@thatgirlljay

2 жыл бұрын

That would fall under what she called “systems of control” because it’s ultimately telling you what you can and cannot do thus controlling you.

@rev.rachel

2 жыл бұрын

Yep, and the pressure to stay in if you express any desire to leave.

This channel is just so great and informative thank you

she described cult leaders and all i heard was a description for EVERY SINGLE POLITICIAN ive ever seen. CAN WE PLEASE DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS?!?!?! GO VOTE FOR A WEIRDO NOTTA POLITICIAN!!!!!!

She's SO fascinating to listen to. Looks like studying sociology really paid off!

@AmyC37217

2 жыл бұрын

Cult leaders are normally pretty fascinating. Therefore ex members also take on similar tactics because that's how they were raised.

@scarlettwitch1472

2 жыл бұрын

Are you malayali?

@purrsuasively

2 жыл бұрын

@@scarlettwitch1472 no :p I'm American with ancestry in Africa and Europe.

@scarlettwitch1472

2 жыл бұрын

@@purrsuasively oh..I asked bcz theat symbol in ur username is an alphabet in Malayalam. It makes 'o' sound

@purrsuasively

2 жыл бұрын

@@scarlettwitch1472 Oh, I see. I actually just have it there as decor because it looks similar to a wing. Kind of like how the character ツ looks like a smiley face.

My hat off to this woman and every people who managed to leave a cult after they got their claws on them. I can't even imagine the strength and courage it requires.

@UltraBran

2 жыл бұрын

It's very difficult, because you're left with a black hole where your whole world view used to be. Most former cultists just find another cult to replace it with, and most people are some kind of cultist (most probably including you).

That was awesome and very helpful. Thank you!

Never underestimate the power of a cult to play on even the most sane person's strengths and weaknesses. Any one of us can be a potential victim.

It’s really obnoxious for people to judge those who get pulled into cults, especially cults of previous decades before technology was easily accessible. We also didn’t know much about cults, there wasn’t a lot of information. You can’t act like these people had all the same information that you do at the time they were lovebombed, that’s not fair. It’s also unfair to the children who were born into cults and didn’t choose that lifestyle. I had a friend who was a child when his parents were pulled into a cult, he didn’t like to talk about it but they got out & it scarred him for life - he was just a kid. Don’t be quick to judge.

@cabinetofcuriosities5504

2 жыл бұрын

It’s the “normal” person that is lured into a cult. The “leader” even teaches the followers that recruit what type of person to look for and how to read basic body language to pick the right people to bring into the cult. Homeless people aren’t bothered with because they’re seen as not contributing and mentally ill people are avoided because…. Well a cult can only have the 1 lead mentally ill person otherwise it’s like too many cooks in the kitchen lol.

@valentinetexas

2 жыл бұрын

the amount of stigma around cults is extremely concerning, people need to know the warning signs of cults and what to do if they, or someone they know, is in a cult

@charlisestewart1031

2 жыл бұрын

Or the stigma that people who were pulled into cults were/are weak-minded not saying that cults aren't bad they are but like Dr Janja Lailch said some cult leaders can start out having all this charisma and promises, that it's hard for people to not get sucked in.

@MrCmon113

Жыл бұрын

@@charlisestewart1031 What a bunch of horseshit. What you call "charisma" is an obvious sign of someone trying to bs you. If you fall for that, you simply fail to do your due diligence as a rational actor. No one and nothing has "charisma" that can make you believe something that's obviously nonsense. It's your attitude towards tolerating nonsense that is the problem.

@RAMONE1511

Жыл бұрын

A lot of people say that school shooters and mass shooters had hard lives, but I’ve had a hard life and never thought let me kill a bunch of people. Likewise I’ve suffered depression and been lost and still have never fallen for a cult. It’s not hard if you use your brain, and Google…

Someone asked what a cult is where the leader is a good person who doesn't take advantage of their cult members? The answer is simple. It's a cooperative or commune. So, NOT a cult.

@GabrielGonzalez-un7rx

2 жыл бұрын

@Ww Ww indeed. If it’s classified as “good” and looks out for the good of its followers and fosters good values, it’s called a religion. If it’s classified as “bad”, harms it’s followers, and fosters negative values, than it’s called a cult. That’s usually how most people interpret the word nowadays.

@GabrielGonzalez-un7rx

2 жыл бұрын

@Ww Ww yeah, but you have to remember, a word is just a sound we make with our mouths. What gives a word it’s power is the meaning that’s associated with it. When the word “cult” was created, it was originally a tent term to catch all religious beliefs. It had no bad connotations associated with it. But as the times change, so do meanings and connotations. The word “cult” is now closely associated with extremist or hostile organizations. So even if it’s not the original and official definition of the word, it is the new meaning that has now become linked with that word. Even if the oficial definition remains unchanged, it’s popular meaning is now something different:

@avanguline

2 жыл бұрын

@@Thelaretus What do you mean by that? How does a pope take advantage of you?

@palatusgames8800

2 жыл бұрын

@@avanguline in the back room

I think anybody who's been close to a narcissist at some point in their lives will understand how easy it is to get sucked in. Cult Leaders are just particularly skilled narcissists with a franchise.

wow this was one of the best videos ive seen on cults

"Maybe they just don't like you." I love this woman, a true straight shooter.

This is the most calming, interesting, fascinating ever. I hope we'll see her again.

@randibgood

2 жыл бұрын

I know. There have got to be more, different questions she could answer. A part 2 would be great!

Got chills the way she spoke!!

“Cults aren’t going to take care of you. You’re there to take care of the cult!” ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

You can’t tell me they didn’t get a single question about Scientology. Not addressing the most prevalent modern cult seems odd.

@safeforwork8546

2 жыл бұрын

They didn't. All of the ones talking about scientology mysteriously were deleted and their authors committed suicide with a gunshot to the back of the head before this was uploaded /s

@kellyalves756

2 жыл бұрын

She did recommend the Master, which is basically a hit piece on L. Ron Hubbard. And I think the logic is, explain the behavior so that you can see how it applies to as many organizations as possible. Because think by now everyone knows there’s something sketchy about Scientology, it’s the cults you don’t know yet that are the most dangerous.

@nicoledempsey3415

2 жыл бұрын

This whole episode is absolutely "Watch a professional decimate scientology without naming scientology". FR tho its legal games, Scientology has the money to burn on anyone and anything in a courtroom. They're a capitalist's wet dream

@t.castro4493

2 жыл бұрын

It's a dangerous cult, people have been stalked for even criticising them.

@yuribraga2575

2 жыл бұрын

I watched a podcast with Dr. Lalich and when the host started a question about Scientology she said that she didn't talk about scientology. And she basically implied that she's scared of the backlash that comes with criticising them.

For those who are confused as to why multilevel marketing is referenced in some of these questions (LuLaRoe by name and what I assume to be Monat by implication), it is because these companies often use cult-like tactics for recruiting and maintaining members/"distributors". They often prey on people who are very vulnerable or lonely (i.e. new mothers, broke college students, people who just moved to a new town). They love-bomb the indoctrinated and often encourage their members to cut people out of their lives if they are skeptical, labelling them as "toxic" or "not supportive". This usually ends up leaving a lot of victims isolated with few outside connections to turn to. They typically have a (completely made up) hierarchy with labels that give "status", which motivate members to invest more time, money, and effort into climbing up the food chain. As for robbing them of their individuality, their online social presence is usually completely taken over by the sheer amount of advertising they are required to do to keep up sales/recruiting. They also have other things that encourage conformity: if it's a diet MLM, they all eat the same powders and vitamins. If it's a clothing MLM, they all wear the brand they sell. If it's a hair care MLM, they all wear stupid hats to cover their scalp burns and damaged hair. It can also be incredibly difficult to get out of an MLM, as it would be with any cult. Typically, members are scared of being labeled a failure or being ostracized by their friends within the MLM; there's a lot of love-bombing and social pressure to stay. Some have gone deep into financial hardship because of their involvement with MLMs and with no lifeline to the world outside of their company, many end up with nowhere to turn .

@kellydalstok8900

Жыл бұрын

One of my daughter’s (formerly) close friends is totally engrossed in essential oils these days. She has a young child that possibly has developmental problems because of the weird diet, unscientific healthcare with essential oils instead of proven remedies, and a generally strange approach to child raising. She’s two years old, but still doesn’t sleep through the night. But the mother thinks that a toddler sleeping for five hours before waking counts as such. The friend also stopped coming to birthdays, even when she said a week before she would come.

@asamanyworlds3772

Жыл бұрын

Yup thier been shows about

@asamanyworlds3772

Жыл бұрын

Yup and they annoy to death junk after you told them no

@jocelynegomez4401

Жыл бұрын

@@kellydalstok8900 hope this isn’t a case of munchausen. Or just negligence you should welfare check the baby make sure she’s ok. You hear so many scary things nowadays.

@thatguy6104

Жыл бұрын

@@kellydalstok8900 i hope that by now you or someone else has called child protective services on her

Thank you so much ❤