Time for a new boyfriend

This guy is really giving a textbook example of the DARVO technique entitled people do. Deny, attack, reverse victim and offender. OP, drop him like a hot potato, don’t look back no matter what.

@Danodan94

2 ай бұрын

Barry is a textbook manipulative abuser. Do not associate with this guy. He will destroy you for entertainment.

@JacobL228

Ай бұрын

You're absolutely right. Also, now I want to play Warframe. I wonder what Darvo's selling today.

Not just a bad player. A bad person. Cut that line and escape while you can. Toxic people you don't want around.

Definitely sounds like forever DM thinks they can 'speed things along' because they're a forever dm. That sucks, and he needs a talking with.

@JacobL228

Ай бұрын

Won't work. She tried that already.

Bro this guy is so petty and a jerk, there will be always someone who will not fallow you and not listen to what you say. Im pretty sure Barry doesn't ment the apology either, i wouldn't like to play d&d with a person like him

I can tell many of these commenters have never played a one shot before. A bit of Railroading is necessary and almost required to keep the game on track, unless you're doing a 12 hour or a weekend one shot, then the DM has to keep people on some sort of schedule or else literally nothing will get done. In a normal campaign I'd have definite issues with the OP, but for a couple hour one shot Barry's actions were completely unjustified.

@TortoiseNotTurtle

3 ай бұрын

Also people seem to forget that Barry was caught actively committing a crime. Yeah no shit it was railroady, that's what happens when law enforcement catches criminal activity. If anything the DM was gracious giving Barry an out with no consequences

What kind of forever DM goes out of his way to be a murder hobo? Is he so selfishly dense he never questioned what if his players did the same to his campaign?

@matthewpiccolino2938

3 ай бұрын

No, he’s just a dick and either is bad at, or refusing to, improvise when his players go “off script”…

@MrMetalpunx

3 ай бұрын

Lol you sound selfishly dense, he probably saw how much fun his players had being murder hobos.

@MrMetalpunx

3 ай бұрын

@@DBeskar6605 I’m answering foolsgil. Not the dumb people from the video. Personally I think if you can’t handle a murder hobo you should hand over the dm screen, you need to learn to think critically and creatively. Also if you complain your about seriousness you need therapy. It’s make believe.

@JacobL228

Ай бұрын

In his twisted and clearly impaired mind, that's _exactly_ what his players do to him.

@MrMetalpunx

Ай бұрын

@@JacobL228 I sense the butt hurt is strong in this one.

So he equates the act of feeding an orphan to setting a church on fire with cow shit? He needs to get his priorities straight.

@JacobL228

Ай бұрын

He needs to get his mental faculties straight.

Any DM worth playing with can easily improve quick scenes

Not only does he not understand role playing but straight up gaslight her

Sounds like he wants a sandbox campaign but she wanted a linear campaign. Speaking as a forever DM I acknowledge we often make bad players. We want to play in our own games and feel disappointed when others can't deliver that type of game. He wants freedom, she wants to tell a specific story.

@FoolsGil

4 ай бұрын

from what I listened to it sounded like he wanted a specific story. As a player he was rigid with his reasonings, and as a DM has no time for improv or extra scenes.

@timjameson6023

4 ай бұрын

It's a one shot. A linear story is pretty what every single one shot is comprised of. Unless you're gonna have a 12 hour one shot, then linear is the way to go. He sounds like a completely spoiled child and the op needs to dump him cause he sounds toxic af.

@riviakstockman

4 ай бұрын

@@timjameson6023 I didn't say linear wasn't the way to go. How does that change anything I've said?

@krilous2755

3 ай бұрын

@@riviakstockman If he wanted freedom he could always try applying for another table as a player... ruining a friend's campaign that as a DM you should know will be linear because it's a one shot... you defended him because he's a forever DM... and that's where you lost me at least. I'd say dude needs a check... can't tell people one thing while you just rip them up for following your advise because you didn't want to improv... which if memory serves is like 90% of a DM's job.

@riviakstockman

3 ай бұрын

@@krilous2755 I didn't defend his actions. In fact I condemned them. So wtf are you talking about? You see, this is the problem with the majority of people. You don't want to humanize someone who's actions you condemn. You need them to be a monster and anybody who doesn't acknowledge them as a monster is automatically defending them...even when they explicitly also condemn them. I've met people like you before. People like you make horrible military strategists because it's easier to hate something you don't understand so you go out of your way to not understand them. To, in fact, dehumanize them. “If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.” “In the moment when I truly understand my enemy, understand him well enough to defeat him, then in that very moment I also love him. I think it’s impossible to really understand somebody, what they want, what they believe, and not love them the way they love themselves. And then, in that very moment when I love them.... I destroy them.”

He's low-level gaslighting

@benjaminryerson-bodman464

3 ай бұрын

Definitely not low level, straight up Gaslighting.

@matthewpiccolino2938

3 ай бұрын

High key

Kind of sounds like the forever DM is going out of his way to be a spiteful player to get revenge for how he perceives them treating him. There seems to be some major red flags when it comes to communication

@JacobL228

Ай бұрын

The red flags have nothing to do with communication, and everything to do with narcissism and a martyr complex. He's pure toxic garbage.

There are a lot of unknowns in the situation. Though of the info we do know 1) it could be a misunderstanding. She wants a more storied campaign and he wants something more straightforward. He could become a better DM by being more flexible and not worrying about what his players specifically SHOULD do and focus more on what they CAN do. For example even if you didn't plan on an interaction with the boy give it to them, just leave it simple. The players will always feel better if you throw them a bone, especially story related ones like that. It makes your games feel alive and character choices matter. She on the other hand could get better maybe by making the objective more obvious. Maybe the secretary mentions the sherif went to investigate the weird stuff at the church. The more obvious your plot points the better and the less you get characters lashing out at the DM in scenes like he did. 2) in terms of the relationship but I would take this as a red flag. Not an auto dump but, if your BF can't just say sorry over a DND game then it might bleed into other more serious arguments. Focus on how he treats you or others in other arguments or heated situations. Maybe this was a moment of weakness and pride and thus a one time problem but, it could also be a pattern. Again not an auto dump but, watch the way he handles situations like this in the future. 3) and finally a note to everyone try to be understanding of others and their criticism. Sometimes people can get really riled up over something even if it is true. Instead of immediately defending yourself think about how the other person's criticism could, in some way be true. That's not to say just let people insult you but, if someone complains about being railroaded or not having fun in a campaign think about what they are saying and in what ways could they have a point before immediately fighting someone over it. Who knows maybe you'll be a better person and a better dm even if the person is being a bit rude.

If it’s the norm to ignore problems in the relationship instead of talking about it like adults or if one is unwilling to compromise, find a new relationship.

I feel like we are missing context. This sounds like a dm who’s had this shit happen in his games. And when given the chance he decides to show them what it’s like

@Danodan94

2 ай бұрын

No, this sounds like a manipulative narcissist who wants control in all situations. OP needs to run.

I am a forever DM, and also a good player generally speaking. Where I struggle is when the rules of the game are not enforced, change on the fly without notice (and not as an exception, either, I mean changes every session). I get into rules arguments. Used to happen a lot more when I was young, though, not so much today.

This is why I stay as a Forever DM bc I fear I might be a problem player like that without thinking about.

@FoolsGil

4 ай бұрын

I don't understand this. The Golden Rule: Don't be a dick. You don't think that's possible if you are a player?

@void-bear455

4 ай бұрын

@@FoolsGil I understand that but the reason I started being a forever DM is because every time I have been a player it never has worked out. I don't think I was ever a dick to anyone and if I was no one ever communicated that to me. I don't know I just stopped trying to be a player a long time ago.

I have a potential solution for this. Show your forever DM AI chat box. Seriously he can indulge his murder hobo all he wants with them and hopefully get it out of his system

I feel like he’s not asking for emotionless robots. He stats what they do in his game all the time. So I imagine the pillow fights aren’t just a few minutes and the encounters he’s had to toss away mattered to him. I get that feel

YIRBEL LIVES! Eeeh i'll watch this one later, gonna look up what w forever dm is first

Run! Run away from the relationship. Run away from the games. Barry is a manipulator. If your DM ever tells you that you wasted time by trying to follow a plot, you’ve got yourself a really bad DM. Character choices are what move a campaign along; not the DMs plans. This guy should just write a book, instead of running games for other people.

I'm not this bad, but I generally don't play as the forever DM because I engage in behavior that I'd ban at my table. Mostly second guessing the other DM's decisions, and not being able to give critical feedback (just snark). I'd think that it wasn't a me thing, but when most of the games I've been in had me thinking the other DM is a bad DM, well, it's probably me and not them.

You definitely need someone better then him he sounds like a nightmare to deal with

I'll be the first to like the video 😎🤙

He sounds like the WORST

Yeah he looks a lot like a psychopath, doubling down in the wrongness

Dump him. If he had issues with how her and the group play, why not talk about it, instead of ruining her one shot? She said she was new to DMing, and he had to know how much work she put into it as a forever DM himself. This is supposed to be her significant other, and he had to ruin her game like that? Obviously, they're not communicating well, but he's a creep. Leave him, and let him be stuck as a DM. Your group tries to do something nice, by running one shots for you, and you do everything in your power to ruin their games? You deserve to be a forever DM. I don't care how many stories they messed up, going out of your way to ruin it for everyone is a shit move.

How the heck is this player a reasonable forever GM? I understand if they were a spotlight hog, but a disruptive murder hobo? Sounds like time for a new boyfriend. And looking into a new GM so you can just oust him from the group.

I always look at these stories and try to see the bias of the teller. I understand how bad people can make a story seem like they are the victim. This DM said to his problem player you go the night watch and thus forced into the story or you spend night in jail and not play. That is a very bad DM move, no agency no choice, not allowing the player to even make a roll for an alternative, thus creating an argument with a more experienced DM was inevitable, and the experienced DM also saw he was getting out of hand and asked him to calm down. He even said that he considered going out of character to demand he listen to him.....

@TortoiseNotTurtle

3 ай бұрын

Tbf the dude was literally throwing manuer at a holy temple. Yes out of context "go on night watch or go to jail", is railroady, but the dude was committing a crime and got caught for crime. How is that an awful DM move? "Hold on yeah I know I burned down an orphanage in game but it's a shitty move for law enforcement to threaten my character with jail"

@scetchmonkey007

3 ай бұрын

@@TortoiseNotTurtle You dont know the context that was never disclosed as to "Why" he did that, perhaps its the temple that was the bad guys established earlier in the adventure. But it was established that as soon as he did that the sheriff appeared to give the ultimatum, No perception check to see law enforcement nearby, no stealth check to get away with his prank, no persuasion check to talk his way out of the office and no deception check to lie about his involvement. Single Ultimatum... . BAD DM

Seems kinda crappy to shoehorn players into the plot, robbing them of any agency. I'd feel pretty pissed too. I wouldn't call it »light railroading«. Why don't you just let the DM tell what is going to happen next then? Though, both players seem a bit antisocial and awkward: all they've had to do was ask.

@shadenox8164

3 ай бұрын

It's a one shot. A short story to play through in a couple hours. You aren't doing that without some railroading. Also like... he was caught defacing a church what do you think is going to happen?

@the_multus

3 ай бұрын

@@shadenox8164 I didn't defend *him*, mind you. Besides, the sheriff didn't fulfill their duties, so I'd expect that (I'm aware of the special circumstances, but I'm not convinced based on what I remember). One-shot or not , players should retain agency in any case: it's the main advantage of TTRPGs, after all. Especially in one-shots, since PCs are not protected by the plot armour!

Sounds like exactly the sort of story you need to hear the other side of before passing any sort of judgment.

That's some immature 4chan behavior.

Definitely need a new boyfriend. Dude is a child.

For The Algorithm

Guy needs to go.