I wore my cheap wrist watch to an all you can eat buffet. It went back four seconds.

LOL @ "which kind of blew me away"

Asked my girlfriend to meet me at the gym, but she never showed up. That's how I knew we weren't gonna work out.

@adascott9065

10 ай бұрын

😂

@obi-wankenobi2995

10 ай бұрын

Thanks mate

how do you make a pool table laugh ? (A) tickle its balls

Why cant Orphans play baseball? They dont know where home is

@sheathekildrik2099

10 ай бұрын

That was in poor taste, but admit it. You laughed

@demouthindesouth

10 ай бұрын

Why do orphans commit so much crime? Because they like to feel wanted

Dad joke: what does a nosy pepper do? Jalapeño face🎉

What did batman say to Robin to get him in the Batmobile? Get in the car Robin

ok worst dad joke a guy walks in to a bar and said ouch ps awesome info vid

What is Pikachu's favorite candy?........shock tarts

Dang and I just spent like all of my bullion last night atleast I have little more than a week to grind events

Dang, was hoping to grab most/all of the secret service stuff and the farmable dirt tiles but looks like I only have about half of the gold that I'd need for all that. Guess I can keep farming meat week until it's done in a few days and see what happens or maybe I'll just have to skip the jetpack and possibly underarmor for now, who knows.

Dad joke: I just participated in my first drag race, and man…it’s hard to run in high heels! 😂😂

not to talk crap but your minerva thumbnail is very nice when compared to angry turtle.

I would like to see a Demolition expert build . and a way not to get flashed by your own explosions .

@spacelime7579

10 ай бұрын

Fireproof under endurance and as for ur build, 2 shot agl with stabilized, grenadier and demo expert.

@christopherbob288

10 ай бұрын

You can turn the explosive flash effect of in setting i think

@spacelime7579

10 ай бұрын

@@christopherbob288 u cant only screenshake

Following on with the pirate theme... "What is a pirate's favorite letter? You might think it be R, but his first love be the C."

Which insect is most efficient at what it does? Lots of people say bees or ants but ya know flies have really been on top of shit lately.

@StationroadRatrods

10 ай бұрын

Damnit zed

If its raining on a Sunday is it really a sundag

Just as the spent all my gold

What's a pancakes favorite position in baseball? Batter

How do you ride a bicycle without a saddle? Very carefully 😂

Yes! Hellfire prototype armor lets gooooo!

My wife called while I was at the bar, told me if I wasn’t home in 10 minutes she would feed the dinner she cooked to the dog. I was home in 5 minutes, I would never let anything like that happen to the dog.

didnt she sold all these items already for the past 2 weeks?? so she's gonna sell them all again in the 14th, couldn't just Bethesda put items that were on the previous scoreboards? 😑

@ass3984

10 ай бұрын

minerva's big sale is just the last few sales put together

First

Dad, mom and son are sitting for the same table and eat. Son asks mom, "What every women think about? The word with 4 letters." Mom slaps son's head and son don't understand why and ask mother, "Why did you slap me, I am talking about home", but first mother's thought was F word.

Minerva is a waste of space for anyone who has played the game for longer than 6 months..

This is why I have 20 lunch boxes

Oh that's so funny i literally saw minerva yesterday and didn't buy shit. I'm lost

Nuclear Winter Tracksuit plan in the unlockable section of crafting apperal. @Nakedvaultdweller