Ep. 77 | 2 Bears, 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Комедия

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Today on 2 Bears 1 Cave, it's Tom's birthday!! And Bert surprises Tom with a special present to start off the show. Next, Bert talks about his "dad stories", taking a drug test and how he thinks he would enjoy a conservatorship. After that, Tom and Bert discuss their interest in starting a 2B1C winery and talk about their favorite types of wine. Then, Bert proclaims that people are bad at telling their own stories, admits he loves making brown and how much of a floss guy he is. After that, Tom and Bert discuss Lance Bass' upcoming gay bar, other popular gay clubs around Los Angeles and the idea of tennis players like Maria Sharapova and Anna Kournikova as strippers. Last, Bert proves his love of Enrique Iglesias before the boys talk about the latest on Chet Hanks and his White Boy Summer movement.
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Пікірлер: 2 100

  • @KennyPagley
    @KennyPagley3 жыл бұрын

    Bert absolutely knocked it out of the park with that birthday gift, sounds like so much fun.

  • @jemiiam

    @jemiiam

    3 жыл бұрын

    He spent $14,000 on a jet ski that way Tom has to spend more than $14,000. They agreed that every birthday you have to spend more than what the other person spent

  • @SamsSweetAndSexyBBQ

    @SamsSweetAndSexyBBQ

    3 жыл бұрын

    @Dumdum Dum If you have a good machine and you aren’t a bitch you wouldn’t give a shit about cold water and you’ll drive it all day.

  • @well_as_an_expert_id_say

    @well_as_an_expert_id_say

    3 жыл бұрын

    @Dumdum Dum good thing they're just kids at heart eh

  • @well_as_an_expert_id_say

    @well_as_an_expert_id_say

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@SamsSweetAndSexyBBQ His junk shriveled from the cold and he got self conscious around the ladies. Don't worry buddy, that's normal

  • @MrBob2212

    @MrBob2212

    3 жыл бұрын

    @Dumdum Dum good thing everyone in the world is just like you

  • @Erika11Garcia
    @Erika11Garcia3 жыл бұрын

    “Quite honestly, I don’t love you the same way I love Tom” Perfectly sums up the term “bromance” in one sentence.

  • @uwotm

    @uwotm

    3 жыл бұрын

    Uuuuuggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhundread percent

  • @sexymexijesse

    @sexymexijesse

    2 жыл бұрын

    Oh boy I can't wait for him to divorce that evil witch 😂 🤣 he's gonna be so much funner unchained

  • @MaxJakkz

    @MaxJakkz

    11 ай бұрын

    @@sexymexijesseI feel like hed go off the rails without his family. That’s not fun to watch

  • @benl7172
    @benl71723 жыл бұрын

    Bert: "I don't like to answer texts, emails or calls, it gives me anxiety..." Also Bert: /cold Facetime calls a one-time acquaintance

  • @ericlivers9384

    @ericlivers9384

    2 жыл бұрын

    He also answers phone calls from random people who get his number online lol

  • @TorrentFiend10

    @TorrentFiend10

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@ericlivers9384 well the phone is ringing, that's what you do when the phone rings. He has to answer it. Duh. (Brett Logic) what am I going to do, not answer it when it rings? Long live Brett!!

  • @inwardpod
    @inwardpod3 жыл бұрын

    “Bleep his name out” BLEEEP “Man if john hears this... he was my cameraman..” LOL

  • @DeltaTempest

    @DeltaTempest

    3 жыл бұрын

    😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @Lewis617
    @Lewis6173 жыл бұрын

    “2 Bears, 1 Cork” would be a great name for the wine

  • @bobbyknuckles6380

    @bobbyknuckles6380

    3 жыл бұрын

    I like that, or “2 Bears 1 Cellar”

  • @shooglechic

    @shooglechic

    3 жыл бұрын

    I'll take twelve pleaae--provided it's not using Bert's pool water.

  • @ryanjohns8135

    @ryanjohns8135

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@shooglechic if dudes died drinking that one chicks bathwater....imagine what kinda shit you’d experience drinking that chomos pool water

  • @whatwhat9599

    @whatwhat9599

    3 жыл бұрын

    2 bears 1 cab (cabernet)

  • @erokvanrocksalot7545

    @erokvanrocksalot7545

    3 жыл бұрын

    Grizzly Grapes

  • @loudegrant3190
    @loudegrant31903 жыл бұрын

    Watching these two friends, both find this level of success and then be able to be this generous to each other, is one of the best things ever.

  • @blockcaptain86

    @blockcaptain86

    3 жыл бұрын

    i heard Joe is CRAZY generous too! i bet thats true!

  • @AstralCloudz

    @AstralCloudz

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@blockcaptain86 super true lol all comedian friends of him say they cant talk about wanting anything around him or he will send it to him XD

  • @imjustapancake3188

    @imjustapancake3188

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@blockcaptain86 for real? :0 I didn’t know that

  • @SwaggySteve_

    @SwaggySteve_

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@imjustapancake3188 yeah one of his friends mentioned a smoker once, and like a day later a brand new top notch smoker showed up at his door 😂

  • @AstralCloudz

    @AstralCloudz

    3 жыл бұрын

    @Jeff Bruce found the poor kid

  • @variaxi935
    @variaxi9353 жыл бұрын

    Holy shit. I didn't realize how good it would feel to see Tom genuinely, unexpectedly happy about something not involving pain or sadism

  • @theundergroundviking
    @theundergroundviking3 жыл бұрын

    I love that every time Tim imitates Leanne he starts with "waaiillll" 🤣

  • @ericlivers9384

    @ericlivers9384

    2 жыл бұрын

    Waaaiiilll he is the master of accents

  • @kasperandresen8898

    @kasperandresen8898

    2 жыл бұрын

    Who the fuck is Tim?

  • @66Sixxy

    @66Sixxy

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@kasperandresen8898 I'm gonna guess you don't know about Bart & Bruce either.

  • @sabryngibson2944

    @sabryngibson2944

    Жыл бұрын

    Lol my whole family does the same w my dads mom

  • @mickeysquintz9650
    @mickeysquintz96503 жыл бұрын

    Tom isn't even fully healed up and Bert is giving him a drag car of a sea doo... This might not end well.

  • @jpsanchez44

    @jpsanchez44

    3 жыл бұрын

    hmmmmm

  • @drugaddictwithknowledge9603

    @drugaddictwithknowledge9603

    3 жыл бұрын

    Best part is aftermarket parts can make it get to 100 and you know psycho Tom will

  • @year780

    @year780

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@jpsanchez44 ok m N . Mlm

  • @DatNygma

    @DatNygma

    3 жыл бұрын

    Ikr. Isn't it awesome! 🤣

  • @shaffier84

    @shaffier84

    3 жыл бұрын

    But just think of all the great new clips of his next injury that will be memed into oblivion!

  • @matthewnilan
    @matthewnilan3 жыл бұрын

    A $14,000 2021 Sea-Doo 🤣 “LeeAnn is so fucking pissed”

  • @a.k.4o

    @a.k.4o

    3 жыл бұрын

    Poor Tom can't even ride that thing for at least a year in a half. It's unfortunately a lot of pressure on your legs

  • @veronamatt1

    @veronamatt1

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@a.k.4o or you know, hear me out. Don't drive it 60mph and he'll be fine.

  • @itsmebutters978

    @itsmebutters978

    3 жыл бұрын

    10 MPH and Tim's other half will be broken. Keep your bones high and tight!

  • @someguy2775

    @someguy2775

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@a.k.4o yeah, it's not going to take "a year in a half" to recover. He's already walking around again.

  • @jacobf4515

    @jacobf4515

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@a.k.4o d

  • @jarrodwakefield4992
    @jarrodwakefield49923 жыл бұрын

    Bert kinda knows his way around story craft. I actually found it really cool when he talked about his thought process with improving a story.

  • @mftoeless1687

    @mftoeless1687

    2 жыл бұрын

    Same I’m tryna be a comedian and these hidden tips in shows are always my biggest take aways

  • @zergintrest
    @zergintrest3 жыл бұрын

    "Let me tell your story", one of the most feasible ideas Bert has had. That's actually a good solo podcast thing. It doesn't have to be hours long either, could run 30-45mins depending on the story. That's a great in between thing if you're bored if you got a few stories that are short but great ones.

  • @denisemarie7991

    @denisemarie7991

    Жыл бұрын

    Why couldnt rhey just do it in this podcast? It could be a segment of 2 Bears

  • @krendo5793
    @krendo57933 жыл бұрын

    I'll be sure to check out the inevitable jet ski accident footage

  • @OutlierConcepts

    @OutlierConcepts

    3 жыл бұрын

    Tom just wanted to go back on Rogan smh

  • @XenoTravis

    @XenoTravis

    3 жыл бұрын

    That is not a jet ski The PWC jet engine community really doesn't like that terminology

  • @onesixski

    @onesixski

    3 жыл бұрын

    Tom’s gonna tap a wave slightly off-angle and his whole body’s gonna collapse into itself

  • @niteshade8546

    @niteshade8546

    3 жыл бұрын

    He just slips trying to get on it then he Million Dollar Baby's himself on the dock.

  • @FellAZ42

    @FellAZ42

    3 жыл бұрын

    🤣🤣

  • @prasun911
    @prasun9113 жыл бұрын

    Future news headline: "Florida man addicted to his own wine, is in rehab. Best friend died laughing"

  • @IlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlI

    @IlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlI

    3 жыл бұрын

    Died laughing...hahahaha that part got me

  • @JoshSDshot

    @JoshSDshot

    3 жыл бұрын

    Best friend found dead on jetski

  • @Spawn303

    @Spawn303

    3 жыл бұрын

    @Alfred Leonidas ok Alfred 2 accounts

  • @hethweek2116

    @hethweek2116

    3 жыл бұрын

    kzread.info/dash/bejne/X5Wfx9GTf6ubd6w.html

  • @calholli

    @calholli

    3 жыл бұрын

    no... he would have to get his legs crushed--- and then: died laughing.

  • @AmandamccrossinSOMMVIVANT
    @AmandamccrossinSOMMVIVANT3 жыл бұрын

    The honor of a lifetime to be facetime'd by Bert on 2B1C 😆 Looking forward to sharing Bert's podcast episode (ipe the one where he cries) of Wine Access Unfiltered on Thursday 4/22

  • @martinkenealy2306
    @martinkenealy23063 жыл бұрын

    Bert: "I know that this money is coming back to me." Totally selfless gift Bert. But I totally get it.

  • @Joshua-so9lq

    @Joshua-so9lq

    2 жыл бұрын

    In like episode 30(31?) Bert explains a very openly selfish mindset in how he faces life. Its worth a listen.

  • @JahyMoonwalker
    @JahyMoonwalker3 жыл бұрын

    Bert: I'm a thinker Tom: eyes wide, nodding

  • @codydahmes2751

    @codydahmes2751

    3 жыл бұрын

    Hahaha this is an amazing comment.

  • @curezilla

    @curezilla

    3 жыл бұрын

    Bert always claims he knows everything about something. He's just a dopey kid in a middle aged body.

  • @b__w_4565

    @b__w_4565

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@curezilla ARENT WE ALL? YOU HAVE THE SAME MIND AND BODY YOUR WHOLE LIFE IT JUST CHANGES IN APPERANCE.

  • @firstnamelastname9955

    @firstnamelastname9955

    3 жыл бұрын

    He's like - "Yea - ...yeah?"

  • @adedimberline
    @adedimberline3 жыл бұрын

    Burt nearly face timing that guy is the first time I’ve ever seen Tom genuinely panicked

  • @theknownunknown9883

    @theknownunknown9883

    3 жыл бұрын

    yeah tom did not want that ft 🤣

  • @ianmcpherson2171

    @ianmcpherson2171

    3 жыл бұрын

    Reading these comments before watching the video is fun lol

  • @NaruBrilu
    @NaruBrilu3 жыл бұрын

    Bert not realizing if he has a conservatorship while being in a conservatorship is the most bert thing ever

  • @daybyday6522
    @daybyday6522 Жыл бұрын

    Tom's reaction to Bert's present was the most emotion I've ever seen him display.😂 That was a legit awesome gift, I have to say.

  • @SenzuGreens
    @SenzuGreens3 жыл бұрын

    “It’s a tragic morning here in Austin as Comedian Tom Segura, newly moved to the area, was involved in a fatal jet ski accident”

  • @kiernansmith4382

    @kiernansmith4382

    3 жыл бұрын

    Hahahaha thinking the same thing

  • @Xaer_

    @Xaer_

    3 жыл бұрын

    Almost fatal, snap city on the other quad and lost the other fucking arm completely.

  • @alexmendoza9645

    @alexmendoza9645

    3 жыл бұрын

    100 percent

  • @Tim_mtz_

    @Tim_mtz_

    3 жыл бұрын

    Dont you put that evil on him Ricky Bobby

  • @VideoNozoki

    @VideoNozoki

    3 жыл бұрын

    In related news, fellow comedian Bruce Krysler has been critically injured in a motorcycle accident. We are told that this was a birthday present from the late Tom Segura. When Mr. Segura heard the news, he apparently erupted in a fit of laugher that caused him to lose control of his jet ski, ultimately leading to today's very sad news.

  • @larryw5533
    @larryw55333 жыл бұрын

    Bert is the guy who goes to a winery and asks if they have anything that's grape flavored.

  • @leviweatherd5168

    @leviweatherd5168

    3 жыл бұрын

    He asks for “red” flavor 😂

  • @timbrawdy2249

    @timbrawdy2249

    3 жыл бұрын

    Kool aid! He just says “ there’s vitamin C in this, right?”

  • @hatkins02

    @hatkins02

    3 жыл бұрын

    Bert goes to wine tasting & gets thrown out when they cut him off after killing 3 bottles

  • @texmexican3654

    @texmexican3654

    3 жыл бұрын

    There's something very wrong with him. He's Zach Galifianakis's character from the Hangover.

  • @stevealleman9206
    @stevealleman92063 жыл бұрын

    Bert & Tom discuss opening their own gay bar without realizing that there are bear bars? They could call it The Cave.

  • @chrisdavison2622

    @chrisdavison2622

    3 жыл бұрын

    They could have an all-gay jizzathon there and call it Skankfest.

  • @jensvoll

    @jensvoll

    3 жыл бұрын

    That would be a "Man Cave"

  • @Dontletthewheelchairfoolya

    @Dontletthewheelchairfoolya

    Жыл бұрын

    You guys don’t want to open a gay bar… you want to open a gay stereotype bar… I mean, sounds fun… dildos on the seats…

  • @8thlvlMage
    @8thlvlMage3 жыл бұрын

    Someone must have had a talk with Bert before this episode. This was the most Tom has got to talk in months. He got out *multiple* full sentences without being interrupted. Please keep it like this!

  • @petehakkinen3020

    @petehakkinen3020

    3 жыл бұрын

    It was part of his birthday gift.

  • @x0rn312

    @x0rn312

    2 жыл бұрын

    And Bert still interrupted him a ton

  • @thecheesefilledllama
    @thecheesefilledllama3 жыл бұрын

    "Is he a big guy?" "Well, not for Texas"

  • @imjustapancake3188

    @imjustapancake3188

    3 жыл бұрын

    Sad but true 💀💀

  • @nicklopez5401

    @nicklopez5401

    3 жыл бұрын

    From Texas. Very very true. Tom is gonna go from obese Californian to average Texas

  • @mloyd64
    @mloyd643 жыл бұрын

    Tom is so good at accepting gifts

  • @danielpenrodii2389
    @danielpenrodii23893 жыл бұрын

    “Do you think cavemen just shit their pants” That’s an amazing Bert quote

  • @sammybananas
    @sammybananas3 жыл бұрын

    4 years later, Bert has to find a way to buy Tom a GT Private Jet after Tom buys him a distillery.

  • @iLLConscience

    @iLLConscience

    3 жыл бұрын

    Lmao underrated comment

  • @rustyshack1707

    @rustyshack1707

    2 жыл бұрын

    Who’s bert? The guy in the grey shirt’s name is Brent

  • @sabryngibson2944

    @sabryngibson2944

    Жыл бұрын

    @@rustyshack1707 lol Brent kershler

  • @rustyshack1707

    @rustyshack1707

    Жыл бұрын

    Brandt Kransler

  • @rustyshack1707

    @rustyshack1707

    Жыл бұрын

    @@sabryngibson2944 Brarndt Krearshaw

  • @shawnbishoplaf
    @shawnbishoplaf3 жыл бұрын

    “Nobody says no to a mimosa. I’m sure somebody says no” *pause to contemplate if alcoholic*

  • @OutlierConcepts
    @OutlierConcepts3 жыл бұрын

    "Tom dropped $3k on my bike...." Knowing Bert he definitely had to go double, maybe even tri-.... "So I dropped $14k on a Sea-doo and Leeann is PISSED" I'm sorry for doubting you Bert....

  • @Barbievel

    @Barbievel

    3 жыл бұрын

    Imo he went up too fast... at this rate in 5 years they’ll be buying each other million dollar vacation homes lmao

  • @Taurusus

    @Taurusus

    3 жыл бұрын

    @Alexander Briggs Super shocked, that Tom is better at managing money than Burk? If I had to guess, Krischna has more "burst" cash, but Tom's income is more consistent. *edit:* That said, yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if whatever you're looking at undervalued Bart's net worth. He acts like a surprised multi-millionaire at all times.

  • @afin85

    @afin85

    3 жыл бұрын

    @Alexander Briggs Tom -"I am booked for the next two years" Bert "I haven't even started"

  • @phalspar

    @phalspar

    3 жыл бұрын

    @Alexander Briggs who cares

  • @iainhamilton9864

    @iainhamilton9864

    3 жыл бұрын

    @Alexander Briggs you

  • @nickcooper2127
    @nickcooper21273 жыл бұрын

    “Travel hood of the sistering pants” Jesus Bert 🤣

  • @ashlynlol5950
    @ashlynlol59503 жыл бұрын

    The joy on Tom’s face when he said “and if you wreck at 62 on a SeaDoo, your life is over” 😂

  • @jonathanbrooks9768

    @jonathanbrooks9768

    2 жыл бұрын

    He was making a mental note to get SeaDoo crash videos for your mom's house

  • @tarheel5656
    @tarheel56563 жыл бұрын

    "He lived at like 14,000 feet." Where? "Denver." LMAO

  • @thelyle1399

    @thelyle1399

    3 жыл бұрын

    13,000

  • @JorgesUsername

    @JorgesUsername

    3 жыл бұрын

    TIMESTAMP GODDAMN IT. I GOTTA LISTEN TO 2 HOURS OF BERT TO GET TO ONE JOKE?!?! SHIT

  • @ctt544

    @ctt544

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@JorgesUsername its early on. You need to listen to like 20 minutes

  • @xdmztryvsvedine2773

    @xdmztryvsvedine2773

    3 жыл бұрын

    @William Foxlow thanks for explaining the joke. I almost didn’t laugh at that part until o read your comment. You’re a lifesaver maaannnnn. *whew* what a close one!

  • @toddd3944
    @toddd39443 жыл бұрын

    Burnt would literally make tres commas tequila if he was a billionaire.

  • @trevornienhuis2769

    @trevornienhuis2769

    3 жыл бұрын

    It was the rivets on my pants.. these are cool fucking pants!

  • @brookspn

    @brookspn

    3 жыл бұрын

    I never made this connection, but it's so perfect.

  • @prasun911

    @prasun911

    3 жыл бұрын

    This makes so much sense lmaoooo

  • @ulisesherrera6099

    @ulisesherrera6099

    3 жыл бұрын

    But its Quatro commas what he wants.

  • @ShiestyNagoo

    @ShiestyNagoo

    3 жыл бұрын

    I’m just gonna say, this guy fucks! Am I right?!

  • @sergioazevedo4267
    @sergioazevedo42673 жыл бұрын

    The person whose name they bleeped out that needed 'help' with his story was Schaub. He talked about it on TFATK way back.

  • @shinyknighttt
    @shinyknighttt3 жыл бұрын

    We gotta start taking some serious shots every time Bert tells a story from a previous episode.

  • @WakandaSmurf

    @WakandaSmurf

    3 жыл бұрын

    Alcohol poisoning

  • @craigstreeter5150

    @craigstreeter5150

    2 жыл бұрын

    Dude...he tells the "he said the N word in front of 3 black guys" story once every 3 episodes. WITHOUT FAIL...

  • @jordangiannini7766
    @jordangiannini77663 жыл бұрын

    9 am on a Monday and I'm already hearing about Bart's shits. Great start to the week

  • @ambervelikova9172

    @ambervelikova9172

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@WubPanda not on the east coast. We have to wait allll morning to get our fix

  • @jordangiannini7766

    @jordangiannini7766

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@WubPanda well, fuck me then. Either my clock is off by 3 hours, or I live on the other side of the country as you. Will report back whenever I figure it out

  • @lostinsauce4515

    @lostinsauce4515

    3 жыл бұрын

    It's 8 am here. Confusion reigns throughout the timezones

  • @rog6646

    @rog6646

    3 жыл бұрын

    We should have a central timezone for the world. Probably should be in Germany.

  • @jordangiannini7766

    @jordangiannini7766

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@rog6646 ..... Don't tell Native that

  • @tylerblanchard8290
    @tylerblanchard82903 жыл бұрын

    I hope Bert got him the sea doo but forgot to get a trailer or any method of transporting it 😂

  • @googleuser859

    @googleuser859

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@alexbarancic552 will he be living on a lake?

  • @prettysweet5033
    @prettysweet50333 жыл бұрын

    The bros in the back laughing never gets old 😂

  • @gourmetcaveman
    @gourmetcaveman3 жыл бұрын

    Berts defense of Chet Hanks is the funniest bit hes had in a long minute.

  • @ericdowning2603

    @ericdowning2603

    3 жыл бұрын

    Whats sad is neither of them even understand Chet's situation, im surprised.. and not surprised... their team didn't inform them of the child and restraining order

  • @allysonheller9215
    @allysonheller92153 жыл бұрын

    Bert: "I have big plans for us." Tom: Smirks at camera.

  • @TheStealthyPyro
    @TheStealthyPyro3 жыл бұрын

    I can already see them hosting the 2 bears livestream with Tom in his full body cast after puttin that jet ski through a dock

  • @ViN86
    @ViN863 жыл бұрын

    "I'm going to rehab." "We should launch our own wine."

  • @WickedSpade

    @WickedSpade

    3 жыл бұрын

    You clearly didn't watch the whole episode.

  • @GreenerGaming
    @GreenerGaming3 жыл бұрын

    How to Break the Internet: Bret and Todd on a seadoo, going full speed, wearing Black Queen Summer and White Boy Summer t-shirts.

  • @ToasterBurner35
    @ToasterBurner353 жыл бұрын

    “Everyone got a Sea-Doo during the Pandemic”

  • @ImGairBair

    @ImGairBair

    3 жыл бұрын

    Yeah wtf is he talking about lol everyone got laid off

  • @drugaddictwithknowledge9603

    @drugaddictwithknowledge9603

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@ImGairBair the rich bought fun shit last year. Bentley and lambo sales are up because they are bored

  • @lordfordification

    @lordfordification

    3 жыл бұрын

    In Florida everyone got new boats and trucks and now tesla's are everywhere. It's wild. Also, sucks to be in a state that closed down and wants your taxes.

  • @spectreactual6884

    @spectreactual6884

    3 жыл бұрын

    It's called saving money guys

  • @joshnevy8967

    @joshnevy8967

    3 жыл бұрын

    Yea thats accurate. Hard to find dirtbikes and 4wheelers too.

  • @bobbyknuckles6380
    @bobbyknuckles63803 жыл бұрын

    “They say money can’t buy happiness, but have you ever seen someone frown on a JetSki?” - Bill Hicks

  • @dominicdeluca6378

    @dominicdeluca6378

    3 жыл бұрын

    That's a good point

  • @ntutino1980

    @ntutino1980

    3 жыл бұрын

    Daniel Tosh said that on his first special. I’ve never heard Bill Hicks say that

  • @jeansdelajeans3937

    @jeansdelajeans3937

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@ntutino1980 srsly. did jet skis even exist when Hicks was alive?

  • @bobbyknuckles6380

    @bobbyknuckles6380

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@ntutino1980 I’ve heard daniel tosh say it as well, unfortunately it was originally bill hicks’ bit, so I chose to reference him instead.

  • @Stephen_Eee

    @Stephen_Eee

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@bobbyknuckles6380 I want it to be a Mitch hedberg joke, so I'm gonna say it in my head like Mitch but he gives credit to Bill at the end.

  • @hotlikedonuts7274
    @hotlikedonuts72743 жыл бұрын

    Tom’s chuckle is the thing that makes me chuckle the most

  • @LotusOverWater
    @LotusOverWater3 жыл бұрын

    I love how Bert just low-key hates being married jajajajjaa

  • @TheBestVirginian
    @TheBestVirginian3 жыл бұрын

    I've never seen Tom this happy without it involving someone getting hit by a car

  • @cmbiggo

    @cmbiggo

    3 жыл бұрын

    Amazing comment

  • @MatthewDouglasT

    @MatthewDouglasT

    2 жыл бұрын

    This comment wins.

  • @ctdieselnut

    @ctdieselnut

    2 жыл бұрын

    It's funny cuz it's true

  • @unclebeav5886
    @unclebeav58863 жыл бұрын

    That guy on the SeaDoo straight looks like Tom and Bert's love child!

  • @imjustapancake3188
    @imjustapancake31883 жыл бұрын

    That is a really kind gift, oh my goodness.. Bert really does love and care for Tom as a homie. That’s a good pal, he didn’t even have to get him that and he did. It’s incredibly generous, homeboy is risking taking a beating from Leanne for this! This is one of my favorite bromances

  • @ryandunnlives
    @ryandunnlives3 жыл бұрын

    The second Bert said “lake” I knew it was a wave runner.

  • @shoedil812
    @shoedil8123 жыл бұрын

    These guys understand what friendships are about. A fucking jetski LMFAO. This is fckn awesome. If I was rich.... my friends would be the luckiest dudes alive. But I'm not so fuck em.

  • @giorgiozampieri4352

    @giorgiozampieri4352

    3 жыл бұрын

    Dirtbikes for all the lads... Damn

  • @shoedil812

    @shoedil812

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@giorgiozampieri4352 Ooh you bet your ass. Fully paid for track days at the Ring.... Restaurant bills.... Don't even dare take a look at them... Dirtbikes... How about everything bikes?

  • @matthewnilan
    @matthewnilan3 жыл бұрын

    9am.. enough time to watch this twice before Bad Friends comes out at noon 🙌🏻

  • @stikdude22

    @stikdude22

    3 жыл бұрын

    Fr

  • @jonathanguevara807

    @jonathanguevara807

    3 жыл бұрын

    My guy 🤝🤝🤝

  • @yoitsvic1126

    @yoitsvic1126

    3 жыл бұрын

    ✊🏽

  • @mikesullivan7153

    @mikesullivan7153

    3 жыл бұрын

    Gotta love mondayz

  • @mjsudela
    @mjsudela3 жыл бұрын

    That argument with Tom Hanks was the most coherent thing than I've ever heard burt say.. it was perfect

  • @bizbaby
    @bizbaby3 жыл бұрын

    I was waiting for them to name the wine “2 Bears 1 Cab” it was RIGHT THERE!

  • @thearsdfa
    @thearsdfa3 жыл бұрын

    before I start the episode, I'm going to drink a bottle of whisky if Bert facetimes someone.

  • @johnmichael580

    @johnmichael580

    3 жыл бұрын

    Better get to drinking

  • @thearsdfa

    @thearsdfa

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@johnmichael580 26 minutes in... he calls a vintner. Just randomly facetimes someone he barely knows. Dammit bert you smell like shit.

  • @Drew_Dolan

    @Drew_Dolan

    3 жыл бұрын

    What bottle did you go with?

  • @thearsdfa

    @thearsdfa

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@Drew_Dolan lot 40. Tastes like burnt wires

  • @florian-zp9qu

    @florian-zp9qu

    3 жыл бұрын

    Are you ok dude? =)

  • @lincolnsfishingandhunting1410
    @lincolnsfishingandhunting14103 жыл бұрын

    2B1C gives me 2 boys one cup vibes just saying 😂

  • @GrilledCheeseDanny

    @GrilledCheeseDanny

    3 жыл бұрын

    Next 2B1C live opening skit 2 Men1 Wine Bottle

  • @sorsor69
    @sorsor693 жыл бұрын

    2 bears 1 vine!

  • @russflournoy9688
    @russflournoy96883 жыл бұрын

    The pure joy on Tom's face when talking about the sea doo is priceless

  • @connorcollins5195
    @connorcollins51953 жыл бұрын

    The wine company should be called: “Two Bears One Vine” 🍷

  • @watevatube
    @watevatube3 жыл бұрын

    Funny how Tom smirks at the camera when Bert says something kinda crazy

  • @user-os2io9yj4f

    @user-os2io9yj4f

    3 жыл бұрын

    a' la Jim Halpert

  • @shellybelly2075

    @shellybelly2075

    3 жыл бұрын

    That's the reason I watch this show. 😂

  • @rhyolite_777

    @rhyolite_777

    3 жыл бұрын

    Makes me wonder how long he's been doing that

  • @KennethKnowlton0
    @KennethKnowlton03 жыл бұрын

    That’s a solid gift. I’m excited for the Dj Khalid footage Tom is going to make on his jet ski.

  • @wheresalexander1993
    @wheresalexander19933 жыл бұрын

    Bert facetiming people should be a regular 2B1C segment 🤣

  • @Ash-ys5cc
    @Ash-ys5cc3 жыл бұрын

    Tim + Brent = Legendary friendship

  • @danb4811

    @danb4811

    3 жыл бұрын

    Um I'm sorry, their names are teddy segway and burnt chrysler.

  • @hethweek2116

    @hethweek2116

    3 жыл бұрын

    kzread.info/dash/bejne/X5Wfx9GTf6ubd6w.html

  • @tscarable
    @tscarable3 жыл бұрын

    Bert says poor people don't know how to handle money while admitting he has never had financial control of his life.

  • @mjsudela

    @mjsudela

    3 жыл бұрын

    He literally has a guy that handles it for him.

  • @rollin662

    @rollin662

    3 жыл бұрын

    bert was poor people he just got lucky 😂

  • @LuckyLuch1

    @LuckyLuch1

    3 жыл бұрын

    You can take the man out of Florida but you can't take the Florida out of the man. Brent is rich trash.

  • @ctt544

    @ctt544

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@LuckyLuch1 bert is poor rich

  • @LuckyLuch1

    @LuckyLuch1

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@ctt544 one huuundred percent

  • @MrFlyingBicycle
    @MrFlyingBicycle3 жыл бұрын

    I watched the genuine happiness on Toms face a couple times, that gift ruled

  • @youngtetsuo8271
    @youngtetsuo82713 жыл бұрын

    This is the most wholesome bromance ever. I pray that Tom survives his new jetski gift lol but seriously

  • @dtgonzo90000
    @dtgonzo900003 жыл бұрын

    Bert: So this guy grew up at 13,000 feet Me in my head: oh so he’s probably from Nepal. Probably grew up in the Himalayas Bert: Denver

  • @scottcrosson724

    @scottcrosson724

    Жыл бұрын

    Denver is 5200 ft lol

  • @stephaniebenton9070
    @stephaniebenton90703 жыл бұрын

    I love Bert’s passion for just having as much fun as possible. I need to be more like that

  • @Spookybetts
    @Spookybetts3 жыл бұрын

    “Do you think sometimes English speakers just butcher major hits in Spanish?” *Despacito has entered the chat*

  • @Rabdeebdab
    @Rabdeebdab3 жыл бұрын

    The "I love you" at the end is adorable.

  • @Theejake76
    @Theejake763 жыл бұрын

    Been waiting for this ep for hours

  • @lostinsauce4515

    @lostinsauce4515

    3 жыл бұрын

    Just another east coast L

  • @kingk.ripple
    @kingk.ripple3 жыл бұрын

    holy shit ive watched bert ramble for over 70 podcasts and the most genius hes been is explaining how to tell a comedic story. never seen him more focused on finishing a sentence.

  • @JLebowski91
    @JLebowski913 жыл бұрын

    Lets get down to Brass Tax. Tim, Brent, I am a fan for life. Anything, ANYTHING, you guys make, I will be watching virtually or in person. It does not matter. I get so much joy from you two, its priceless. Beyond joy, I get freedom. You are two guys who put in the work and KILL IT. When you're done with work you LIVE IT. I respect it and it fucking motivates me. Tim, Bart, you guys are legends. Much love.

  • @butchdotkoski
    @butchdotkoski3 жыл бұрын

    Bret talking about just letting a kid grow up in the wild then seeing the realization of it made me cry laughing 😂😂😂 “a real mood booster”

  • @ericdowning2603

    @ericdowning2603

    3 жыл бұрын

    You mean when he called the child hot?

  • @cliftonnobles5600
    @cliftonnobles56003 жыл бұрын

    Went to bed down, woke up still kinda down. Somehow Bert giving his best friend an outrageous gift actually cheered me up. Cheers to friendship

  • @FirinMahLazer1
    @FirinMahLazer13 жыл бұрын

    Why am I envisioning a jet ski on a trailer and Tim with no way to get it to the water 😂

  • @sherianrubar7121
    @sherianrubar71212 жыл бұрын

    Omg. 🥺🥺🥺 that is the best gift to give to your best friend.

  • @blazechaisson2085
    @blazechaisson20852 жыл бұрын

    Absolutely love this Pod Cast..

  • @user-sn2wb2zr7d
    @user-sn2wb2zr7d3 жыл бұрын

    The pure joy and glow Tim is putting off is unreal. He doesn't even glow that much when he watches a confrontational video! Great job, Mr. Chrysler.

  • @xcalibur8663
    @xcalibur86633 жыл бұрын

    please never stop 2 bears I love this show so much I look forward to it every week

  • @davidingram9668
    @davidingram96683 жыл бұрын

    When I was a kid in Miami, you would hear "I like it like that" in every commercial, from used car dealerships to (a native Miami company) burger king.

  • @MrTime2Spare
    @MrTime2Spare Жыл бұрын

    Bert treats people like they are apps on his phone lol

  • @zachrodgers7783
    @zachrodgers77833 жыл бұрын

    This gift giving escalated real quick

  • @TheFunnyEagle
    @TheFunnyEagle3 жыл бұрын

    I love the smirk on Tom's face when doing the Miller sponsorship read. "Have a social anxiety disorder? Drink Alcohol to cure it!" lmao

  • @maxcornielje4169
    @maxcornielje41693 жыл бұрын

    This is such a good podcast

  • @FERAL_ENTITY
    @FERAL_ENTITY2 жыл бұрын

    Tom reacting to his present was wholesome as shit

  • @RC-qu3ms
    @RC-qu3ms3 жыл бұрын

    Can’t wait to see the t-shirt of Tom flying off the wave-runner.

  • @logand5292
    @logand52923 жыл бұрын

    Bert: “I like to give more than to receive” 5 minutes later... “I can’t wait to see what I get next year” Kinda defeats the purpose if you’re expecting something bigger than your gift 😂😂😂

  • @spencerbedggood8343

    @spencerbedggood8343

    3 жыл бұрын

    Good point but gotta say that they agreed to one-up eachother on gifts every year when Tim got Brett the ebike.

  • @19Burgandy

    @19Burgandy

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@spencerbedggood8343 and thats why Logan is dumb

  • @logand5292

    @logand5292

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@spencerbedggood8343 true, I do remember that 😂 still kinda negates the “I like to give more than to receive” though... I just found it funny how quickly he went from one statement to the other. But that’s Bart Krishna lol

  • @lamontg58
    @lamontg583 жыл бұрын

    You guys have the best friendship

  • @michaelbarton2406
    @michaelbarton2406 Жыл бұрын

    I love the look on Tom’s face when he looks at the gift

  • @a.k.4o
    @a.k.4o3 жыл бұрын

    Marky Mark, and Bert have a lot in common. Both were charged with hate crimes in their early teens

  • @dominicdeluca6378

    @dominicdeluca6378

    3 жыл бұрын

    GTFO here lol. I saw that about Marky Marks Asian hate crime

  • @a.k.4o

    @a.k.4o

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@dominicdeluca6378 wrong race unless he has two of them

  • @TheBoredGamer01

    @TheBoredGamer01

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@a.k.4o he assaulted two Vietnamese men. Punched one guy in the eye which left it permanently blind and knocked the second out with a wooden stick apparently.

  • @a.k.4o

    @a.k.4o

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@TheBoredGamer01 so he has two cases, because he has a different story with a different race

  • @isaacmartinez7557

    @isaacmartinez7557

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@a.k.4o were they hate crime charges back then? Or are people bringing it back up to shine a different light on it with what’s happening today?

  • @rsilva8201
    @rsilva82013 жыл бұрын

    “Is he a big guy? Not for Texas” as a native Texan no truer words have been spoken.

  • @hamburglr1

    @hamburglr1

    3 жыл бұрын

    Ok tiny Tim

  • @seekingthestokewithneeks6640
    @seekingthestokewithneeks66403 жыл бұрын

    The episode I’ve been waiting for. I’m more excited for their birthdays each year than my own.

  • @colecancillaartist
    @colecancillaartist2 жыл бұрын

    The best part about these podcasts is the crews cackling! Must be an amazing job to work there.

  • @r.e.8809
    @r.e.88093 жыл бұрын

    All of these adds to pay for Tim’s gift

  • @divine1k
    @divine1k3 жыл бұрын

    They should censor names out with the “BRUCE KREISHER” audio lmao

  • @inwardpod

    @inwardpod

    3 жыл бұрын

    Great idea

  • @spartymatt9627

    @spartymatt9627

    3 жыл бұрын

    That is fucking brilliant.

  • @TheFortunateWaywardSon
    @TheFortunateWaywardSon3 жыл бұрын

    When Bert said pull up my gift and that’s when a erectile dysfunction ad started And I almost died

  • @ricog2343
    @ricog23433 жыл бұрын

    Bert singing I like it like that 😂😂😂😂😂😂

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