Enneagram 4 and the Narcissist
In this episode, Julie Jacobs, LPC, MA and I discuss narcissism through the lens of Enneagram Type 4, also known as the Romantic or the Individualist. Each of the nine types have their own distinct ways of responding to the stress created by the narcissist. Awareness of our Eneagram type structure is the key to not losing our energy and this is the gift of the enneagram. In this episode, Julie and I discuss the dynamics between Enneagram Type 4 and the narcissist, how Type 4 responds to the narcissist, and how to recognize when the narcissist is causing you to move into your shadow (the place where you lose energy). In this episode, we also give Type 4s pointers on how and where you can use awareness to shift into the higher side of type and create healthy boundaries.
Julie Jacobs is a counsellor and owner of Windhorse Counseling. You can learn more about her work with Sand Tray Therapy, EMDR, and more at www.windhorsecounseling.com. Her website is also where you can contact Julie for more information about her upcoming group on boundaries and book groups she is also planning. If you are in the Phoenix area, you can meet with Julie in her Chandler office, and she also works in the virtual space for those not in the Phoenix area.
If you would like to work with me in Spiritual Direction (with or without the Enneagram) I do that work virtually. You can schedule with me here: www.mariamandarino.com/about-.... If you have questions you'd like to ask me first, just select to the option for a complimentary discovery call with me. If you are local and would like to schedule an acupuncture or somatic bodywork session with me, you can also do that via the website: www.mariamandarino.com/classi....
Thanks for joining us on this series about the Enneagram types and narcissists. Please remember to like the episode. Also subscribe to the channel and hit the alert button to receive updates about future episodes and projects. We would also love to hear your comments about the episode. We would also love to know if there are other topics related to the Enneagram you'd like to hear us talk about, so please drop a comment about that as well. Of course, as always, please share the episode with those who you think can benefit from the information.
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Пікірлер: 11
I got exploited by a narcissist and I am an enneagram 4. I was laughing when you talked about how chaotic the relationship would be like between the two😂 as I have experienced that it myself.
yep you cant scare me with how you feel so i got burnt big time by a BPD
not gunna live long enough to fix this shit lol
@CuddleClaw.
8 ай бұрын
Try using psychedelics with the intention to work on what you want to work on. It has helped me speed up my healing.
@noturbo
8 ай бұрын
oh nice and thanks
How can I tell the difference between a 4 who is a narcissist and a 4 who is just being a 4? I’m a 4 and recently have been having long phone calls with another male 4 (long distance), he’s very charming. I’ve been writing down things he says, sometimes it seems like he’s mirroring things I say, or like he’s studied me and is crafting his words to fit what I desire/need. But, it also feels like he could be the one I’ve been searching for. Which is terrifying (too good to be true?). How long can a narcissist keep up a mask over long distance?
@mariamandarino-wisdom-teacher
11 ай бұрын
This is one of those situations where I’d say first listen to that little voice. Secondly, I would suggest reaching out to a counselor for guidance to get clearer on things. Awareness of the enneagram is certainly helpful. But sometimes a professional opinion is warranted. This sounds like one of those times.
Some of this was difficult to hear
@mariamandarino-wisdom-teacher
Жыл бұрын
I understand this. Usually when something is difficult to hear that's when we are witnessing our shadow. Remember knowing your Enneagram, exploring it, and finding the breath in the movement of your Enneagram map is what empowers you. Thank you for commenting.
@thislittleweirdgirl332
Жыл бұрын
My ex-husband is an enneagram 4, and I’ve verged into thinking he was a covert Narcissist because of his sense of entitlement and general lack of empathy, among many other traits. Some you mentioned as being just an unhealthy 4. How can one know the difference?
@mariamandarino-wisdom-teacher
11 ай бұрын
@@thislittleweirdgirl332 good question and thank you for asking! This gets beyond the goal of these episodes and my work as a spiritual director. The Enneagram is really meant for us to reach a deeper self-awareness than it is to define someone else's type (reason being, at the end of the day all you can change is your own behavior through the self-awareness the Enneagram offers). That said, I want to try to give you the best answer I can as a spiritual director. It's good to be able to assess a situation and to be able to read the signs that suggest a situation is unhealthy (whether we are using the Enneagram or not). I think you hit on the lack of empathy as a possible way to distinguish between an unhealthy 4 and a covert narcissist. Also, I think it's possible for both to exist within the same person. That is, I think it's possible for an unhealthy 4 to be a narcissist. But I also absolutely know that not all unhealthy 4s are narcissists. I hope this is somewhat helpful.