I’m 64. I don’t do anything to look younger. I’ve been through a lot. And can honestly say my 50s and 60s (so far) are the best. I seldom wear makeup. I don’t care what others think. I’m 64 and sag and have wrinkles etc. So what? I don’t matter to society? So what? My family loves me. My friends love me. I love me (did not for first 50 years). Men stopped looking at me in my 40s. So what? Actually I was happy about that. Leave me alone. Yeah the male gaze drove me crazy. I knew from my teens on all they wanted was sex. And I don’t crave sex anymore - and that’s freedom. So liberating. I know society says sex is good and you need it. Not true. I am freer without it. I’m more ‘me’ without it. So look forward to aging! Enjoy your life while young of course. Enjoy sex when feeling the need. But know old age has freedoms youth can’t understand. And those grumpy old people we all know are just too selfish to see life didn’t owe them everything they thought it did! Happy old people are happy cause they allow aging to teach them all about being free. And it’s not about money. I’m on a pension so have to watch my money each money. So what? Money doesn’t define who you are. I’m not saying it’s bad. I’ve had money. I was just surprised to see it was not what defined me or life itself in the end. Hope this helps you young millennials ❤

@astoldbybrittany4342

Жыл бұрын

I love hearing your insights Desoterica! Thank you for giving them to the comment section for others to see as well.

@our.secret1130

3 ай бұрын

“Leave me alone” lmfao!

@our.secret1130

3 ай бұрын

This helped a lot. Sex and the male gaze have ruined my life in a lot of ways. Can’t wait to be free

I think as we turned 30+ we have a realisation that we are no longer the "in focus" age group - it's the younger age groups that get all the articles written about them, get constantly examined, get constantly bombarded with advertisements etc, while it become trendy to mock the generations that have come before. The reality is that age comes for us all, and that doesn't make any of us worth less. We need to transition from a society that values looks, youth etc, into one that values individuality, choice and community. I am about to hit 38, and until the last few weeks, I'd been dwelling on aging, and death of the self, etc. But the more I think about it, the more I've come to terms with the fact that I will soon be 40. I don't think it matters anymore - age is a superficial number. We cant halt aging, so we may as well enjoy it as it comes! There are cultures in the world that venerate older people just as much as younger people. We in the West could learn a thing or two from these cultures.

I think the French lady was simply saying - go to somewhere like France where women aren't 'thrown away' as soon as they hit a certain age - mature women in France are deemed beautiful because they take care of themselves, dress impeccably and enjoy life (in moderation). It's about perspective - seeing mature women have fun with fashion and dressing elegantly shows you can be beautiful and worthy at all ages. She wasn't being snarky, she was being French lol. Us Europeans are more frank, but it doesn't mean we don't care. And, getting off TikTok is perfectly good advice, imo. lol

Tysm for this! I was praised for my looks from birth until around 30. I got ppl telling me to model, i got lots of attention from men and women. Now im almost 40, im almost invisible, i hate it but at the same time the attention i used to get made me super uncomfortable! Its a bizarre paradox. What helps me is a refusal to only be "good" or "valuable" for a third of my life! Should i live till 90 that is. Society really is sick for ingraining this 30 yr old "deadline" in women.

@belllaa2244

7 ай бұрын

I am 30 and the same for me. I to have been praised for how i look. Im now seeing the beginning signs of ageing and feel extremely anxious for how people will treat me because of this. Im worried i will be made to feel worthless and invisible i to didn't feel comfortable with lots of attention but i was always treated well now i think i wont be x

@carmenhunter4380

7 ай бұрын

@@belllaa2244 it's a very scary feeling to look around as you get older and realise something you thought would always get you through is going away. (We all know about ageing of course, but when we are young it feels like it won't happen to us lol!) It's especially scary if you haven't built up the other parts of your life such as getting an education/career, like me. So far I haven't been treated badly or treated like im worthless. Just less important, passed over a bit more. A barista made a pretty young girls coffee before mine recently, when I had ordered first! Things like that. All I can say is, one day, one moment at a time. Sometimes being invisible is pretty freeing. Invest in your future if you haven't done so already, go back to school if need be. Try to enjoy the small daily things, cliche I know. All the best lovely 💐

@sunrise8752

6 ай бұрын

Wow this is so sad 😞 I’m also 30 and freaking out but reading this makes me sad

@belllaa2244

6 ай бұрын

Sunrise it is so sad. None of us can help or prevent aging. We all should feel happy and lucky to still be alive and blessed with more life but it seems to come with the consequences of people being horrible 😭 im so disappointed in humanity 😭 i wish looks were never a thing

@panidaj641

3 ай бұрын

I'm 35 and going through the same thing. People would give me attention for my looks. Now it's fading I'm struggling to adapt.

I'm 46 and these feelings that you're describing hit me in my 40s and it has been really hard. I've grieved "my looks" and felt a huge loss. In this journey over the last few years, I have realized that I had objectified myself physically. I made myself an object to be looked at! I didn't love me for the person that I am outside of my sexuality/looks. Life happens and the last couple years health problems have caused me to gain weight. This still hurts but I haven't been able to control that and have had to learn to accept life and myself as I am. I don't do it perfectly, but I try each day. Celebrating myself helps also. I've taken my eyes off of others and put them on myself and now I take care of myself and focus on enjoying each day.

One of my college friends was diagnosed with cancer in his mid-20s. I forgot what it was exactly, but it wasn’t a “mild”/less severe cancer and it was pretty rare - and coincidentally, many people he worked with in the Navy were diagnosed with it, too. Anyway- he was able to beat the cancer, and on his 30th birthday he said that he’ll never dread getting older because for a while it was a real possibility that he would die young. I try to remember that whenever I feel bad about aging.

THANK YOU FOR bearing your experience,your vulnerabilities,and the ladies feedback-Im learning too, to process my value innerwards & not my looks,anymore as Ive recognized visible signs of aging. Best of luck with your growth🌺🙂

I'm a guy here...thank you so much for being honest I know you might think its not relatable to me as a guy but trust me it is! Specially when it comes to the aging not the beauty part of it but the aging and the purpose in life part of it...thank you so much for this beautiful video...Good luck❤

@astoldbybrittany4342

3 ай бұрын

I always love to hear other perspectives, thanks for commenting.

Girl literally everything you are saying EXACTLY what I’m thinking. I just turned 30 and I’m freaking out. I think what I’m really freaking out about is not that I’m older but that I haven’t accomplished what I wanted. Like a good career, marriage, kids and I feel not only behind everyone but also that time is slipping away…

@clanceymoreino7023

4 ай бұрын

I'm literally on the boat as well you are!

I’m going to be 37 next month and I have been struggling with this so much! Thank you for being vulnerable and honest because it really helps some of us not feel so alone in these feelings. Much love to you❤

At 62 I must say that aging beats the alternative!😂

@astoldbybrittany4342

Жыл бұрын

Yes you are so right!! ;) Love ya

For me (I just turned 40) is that the internet is dominated by 19 year olds. We are DROWNING in 19 year old face filtered women. The only thing that has helped me is to only follow women over 50 online. Now I am inundated with accounts of 60 year old lady boxers and 70 year old lifestyle vlogs, and 50 year old makeup artists. We need to SEE older women living. Because when we do we see there's a LOT that's amazing about getting older.

@astoldbybrittany4342

2 ай бұрын

yes I've been trying to make it a point to follow less of the youngins. I feel it's definitely helped. Thanks for watching!

I hear this all the time. It feels reassuring to be told I look in my 20's, Im also 32, and its shocking to me. But its REALLY not very old. Its closer to 1/3 of our lives assuming we live to our estimated agespans. These days people commonly live into their 80's and 90's (general statement yes). It worries me that we think we're old now- how are we supposed to enjoy the next 50 years of our lives, if we're lucky enough to live that long. We're all having a mass psychosis and we'll regret it later

@astoldbybrittany4342

Жыл бұрын

I have the same concerns as you. I'm glad I'm not alone in these sentiments. We'll get through this!

I'm in my 30s too, and I had been struggling with this too. What has really helped me and changed things for me, is that I stopped looking at aging as if I am 'loosing' something.. beautiful things get replaced by other beautiful things. and my whole life, its all me, in all stages. I never fade. That a line I didn't have before is now a part of me, and also beautiful in its own way.. I sincerely think, that lines and new structures are beautiful as they are human. I used to have more fat in my face.. I don't have this as much as I used to, but my eyes look bigger.. so thats a plus. I love the eyes of a mother that is concerned for her child and cares for somebody. People that care for other people will have lines of worry. And it looks beautiful. People that laugh will have laugh lines, why are they so scrutinized.. its beautiful. And I am there somewhere being 20, flawless. And I am there somewhere being an 80 year old grandmother baking pie for her grandchildren, full of lifes wrinkels and old strong hands. And I am there somewhere 40s, caring for my family. I am there somewhere an 8 year girl. It's all me. I think if we don't appreciate the time we are in, we are missing out on it. You are beautiful now, the way you are no less than you were 7 years ago. Just different.

@astoldbybrittany4342

5 ай бұрын

I love this mentality.. to not think of aging as losing something. That is a great mindset. We really are GAINING when we age! Experience, wisdom, radical self acceptance, and more. Thanks for watching. 💜

Hello :) I think you are misunderstanding the french lady, maybe she had troubles expressing herself in english. I remember being in Italy with a friend of mine in our early 20s. And seeing the women there has struck me. Women of all ages had beautiful dresses on, and they were sitting outside a bar chatting with friends, enjoying the sun, food and life. They all looked so beautiful to me, and I thought, this is what I was going to be that age. So this is what I'm getting from the french woman, that says, look at the women, how they dress, and eat well, enjoy france... a happy, joyful, kind face, somebody that brings joy to others and is grateful for life, and able to appreciate life is so beautiful. And I think that a lot of men would agree, that such a woman who is confident with herself and know how to enjoy life is sexy and desirable.

@astoldbybrittany4342

5 ай бұрын

Thank you for this perspective, it's definitely possible I just didn't understand! 💜

“I cannot look in the mirror, and appreciate what is happening to me.” This. 😞

just my perspective on this- I don't look good for men, I wanna look good for myself, Yes a beautiful woman/man will always catch the eye of people, this is normal, when I see a beautiful woman all dressed up looking amazing I'm like wow! she's stunning men will do the same. I was taught to always look good for yourself to boost your confidence and sometimes it really helps. I think everyone fears age at some point I know I do, mostly because I don't want to die alone and suffer.

Thank you so much for this! I am turning 36 tomorrow and just searched for some wise videos about how to embrace aging. I have overcome the first shock with grey hair and not so elastic skin and wrinkles and somehow I have made peace with it and I am happy(I decided not to color my hair aswell), it is just so important that we women and people support one another and accept aging with love and natural attitude. I wish you all the best! I understand how you feel!

@astoldbybrittany4342

3 ай бұрын

I am trying to embrace my natural color too! Some grays for sure :) thanks for watching.

Im 47 and honestly i still struggle with this at time and it started in my mid 20s. Its very hard not to become a male hater. Surely they created the world in a way that only values youth and beauty, yet for a male age is an asset. Even younger men look up to older men. As females we need to change this!

@astoldbybrittany4342

3 ай бұрын

I've already had to delete several comments from men that were awful. I agree it's getting hard not to think ill of them. I just try to remember for every dud out there, there's plenty of good ones.

I’m so glad to have come across this video. I recently turned 30 and just finished up a masters program. I should be on top of the world right now but I sometimes look in the mirror and don’t recognize my face anymore. I also lost about 20 lbs so that has changed my face a lot too and I just look so much older than I remember. It’s like before the pandemic I was 26 and had just started to really like myself and my looks and now I look in the mirror to see a much more mature person but I can’t wrap my brain around it. It’s also starting to depress me to know that it will change again at 36, and 40, and 55 and so on. I’m doing all the anti aging things I can now but it’s still so scary.

I am not on KZread but I thought I should be just for this topic alone. Everything this video addresses is why women in this 40’s are some of the most depressed in our society. I grew up when Britney Spears was the biggest role model… I’m 35 now and watching my face change into what will soon be the ‘40’s’ look. But look at Britney lately, she’s in her 40’s and is so desperate to hang on to that ‘Aphrodite archetype’ that was once hers but not anymore. My heart breaks for younger girls. I was very pretty growing up, I got so much attention and subsequently I thought I was valuable due to my beauty. I used to feel sadness when people complimented me on my looks because I knew that it was temporal value. So in my 30’s, now my mid-30’s, I look to REAL female role models who bring more to the table than just looks. And pleassssee, if there are other 30 something females considering it- plastic surgery isn’t the answer! Look at Madonna. We are all in this together- growing old together. All those pretty young girls you see and reminisce about will soon be going through with what we are now. Females really need to start talking more about this phenomenon.

Thank you! Your honesty was amazing because its exactly how i feel too. Age 44 here. Trying to accept that aging is beautiful as well. But it's hard

Turning 30 didn't really phase me at all, I rewatched that Friends episode laughed it off, and went on my merry way. But turning 35 really sent me through a loop. I freak out so much, and I don't really know why. It's exhausting and sad and no matter what I do seems like nothing really helps.

@astoldbybrittany4342

3 ай бұрын

Friends really hits the spot sometimes. I've seen it all the way through a few times. I think things will get easier with age ironically.

Everything your saying is straight facts I’m 44 and I struggle so much with my looks because of external validation from man. I love this video this is what I was searching for tonight and I found it in this video o appreciate you!

@astoldbybrittany4342

5 ай бұрын

I'm so relieved to hear I'm not alone. I was scared to speak about it for fear of having "bad" thoughts about aging but it's truly how I feel. We can get through this!! Thanks for watching 💜

Thank you so much for the video💚 I'd add a couple of moments here. I think it's pretty dangerous to state any decade as the best because when it comes to an end, there's a risk of going through an even tougher crisis. Like "My best decade is over. What am I going to do now?" All the rest pieces of advice are just great. I'm turning 42 soon and yes, I can see that men get more excited when they see younger women, even when they are themselves over 40-50 etc. First, when I got a lot of male's attention in 20s-30s, I wasn't happy. Their attention can be so annoying and destructive sometimes. Second, as kids we don't care about men's attention and simply enjoy our life. So why not to remember that feeling now. Next, we ourselves should really see the beauty of older women and men thus we'll be able to accept ourselves. If you can't truly see and believe that a 50-year-old woman can be beautiful, how can you believe in that about yourself?) And a very important point is about confidence and energy. Women who love life exude energy that men find very attractive and looks become a second point. My grandma had admirers when she was 75 and she is a confident energetic woman. And yes, how the world will continue treating women after 30s depends on us, women, a lot. Sounds almost like a mission:) Hugs and love to all the women🌷🌷🌷

Thanks SO MUCH for posting this love! I'm 33 and starting to see aging signs too and it's hard. I take excellent care of myself, but even so I knew that eventually I, like everyone would start to age, but it's hard. Thanksagain for helping me feel less alone in this process! 💚Also I SO RELATE to looking at other aging women in a different light than I view myself and I'm trying to practice radical acceptance about my aging process. I also have OCD though and a common theme has always been perfectionism so it's been hard for me with these recent changes but I'm doing my best to accept them and focus on my graitute that I'm alive! 💚

@astoldbybrittany4342

5 ай бұрын

You phrased everything so well about this aging matter. I relate to everything you said. Hopefully it will get easier with time and having grace for ourselves as we transition!! Thanks for watching 💜

@trtlduv07

4 ай бұрын

Aw thank you so much!!! YesI think it will as we ease into it more! Of course! Thank you as well! ♥@@astoldbybrittany4342

When I was 25 someone said to me I was a quarter of a century old. Seriously!!!! 30 isn't even close to getting old. Exercise, hydrate, and use sunscreen. You will look beautiful for decades.

Embracing aging in your 30s? That's such an empowering and important topic to explore! This video description promises to delve into the journey of overcoming the fear of aging with confidence and self-love💕.. We were so inspired by this video that we took the initiative to email you, expressing our appreciation for your empowering message and expressing our interest in potential collaboration opportunities.

Yes! We are more than just our looks! ❤️

I'm 32 now and my problem is, that I have never felt pretty anymore from the age of 7. So my whole youth and 20s were just a big shit show of not feeling good with my looks, craving for validation and attention and compliments that I then would not believe, because I thought the person just wanted to be nice. Right now, where my confidence is growing and I start to feel good about myself, my body starts "declining". And that makes me very desperate, because I didn't do anything for myself and for my looks, never dared to try things out and change things about myself for my whole "young and fresh" episode, and now that I'm mentally in a place I can, my skin says, no, time's up. That really fucks me up. A little thing that helped recently though - I'm having severe clashes between my eyebrows (I'm not talking wrinkles, they are real valleys, casting huge shadows) and a white streak in my hair. And my 14 year old cousin said to me, that I don't look like 32 at all, I look maybe 26. That comforted me way more than anything anyone has ever said to be honest, I don't quite know why. I could genuinely see that she meant it and she didn't make a thing out of it, said it very casually. Maybe it's because I'm so traumatized by teenagers opinions about me, that hers really helped out.

The most tricky thing for me (32 yo) is, that I see things happening to my body that I had only seen in my parents bodies. I think its kind of a normal naivety that young people have that they will never get old. Because all they have known so far is being young. Thats at least how I felt. And now I am slowly waking up and realize that I am in fact getting old. There is no way out, also for me. (the alternative would be way worse)

I just turned 26 and I feel like that. I felt 'valueless' since like 23. All because of looks.

Enjoyed this! But listen, if you've been in therapy for a while and don't have clarity on what tools you need and how to use them, it's time to change therapist. I would recommend DBT because it helped me in such a concise and practical way! Dialectic Behavioral Therapy

@astoldbybrittany4342

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for the recommendation! I will look into it.

I think the whole problem is still not mentioned in this video. Aging does not have to be a reason to look "less" attractive. I see a lot of attractive people who are in their 30s or 40s, and even people who look more attractive then some 18 or 22 year olds. For some people looking good and attractive is important and there is nothing wrong with that

@astoldbybrittany4342

5 ай бұрын

You're definitely correct. These are sentiments I need to work on.

I found that relationships with younger people who don’t value someone older has a negative impact on the psyche. I’m almost 31 and I know that I’m very accomplished by my definition. A younger group, 10+ years does not appreciate our value.

I’m afraid of becoming a senior person WITHOUT purpose of life/sense of fulfillment. Somehow being “young” “allows” you to be ignorant or lack of career progression. But once I imagine myself aging but not doing much in my life (especially without a partner or family or kids or high paying job) I get freaked out.

@astoldbybrittany4342

3 ай бұрын

Never thought of that, now I'm going to worry about this too lol.

Wow, very honest! I like that! I’m 45 and I’m noticing some changes now! I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a little tuck here and there to try to maintain. But I wouldn’t go crazy over it either because as many said we need to age gracefully. I haven’t done anything yet, but I’m thinking about it but I’m also married and have a husband who tells me how beautiful I am on the inside too. A persons personality also helps the person look more beautiful. Ever see a real bitch that’s beautiful!? They look real ugly real quick. Haha! Stay beautiful on the inside. 💕

@astoldbybrittany4342

Жыл бұрын

Beauty on the inside is so important for sure!! I'm always trying to better myself and work on myself in that regard. I think I've improved a lot but still could use some work. And I agree about the tweaks here and there! I've done lip filler once and I thought I would love it but after I got it, I didn't feel like myself? IDK. It was a weird feeling. Maybe I'll do it again in the future, who knows. Your husband sounds great. :) Thanks for watching!

It's not that society doesn't approve women aging or whatever, it's just that as women (especially if you're beautiful when young) you are used to preferential treatment and attention you get because of your looks. If you observe closely, any average looking man young or old is also invisible to society. It's interesting once we women cease to enjoy endless attention and approval simply because we are, we consider that invisibility or punishment by "society". But in fact society only retracted the favors it pours on the young and beautiful. Enjoying these favors is sort of a "cheat code" in the game of life, and suddenly you're out in the cold having to play by the same rules as the rest, and it doesn't feel so good. You are also part of this society by the way - it's not accident most if youtube influencers are attractive or attractive people are used in advertising. We are wired to be attracted to youth and beauty. What we mourn is the the loss of these privileges.

@astoldbybrittany4342

5 ай бұрын

Yes so much to all of this, you hit the nail on the head.

@Avaaaw

4 ай бұрын

It wouldn’t be like that if men didn’t objectify women. This male-made society just discards women once they are no longer usable (mostly because as a middle aged woman, you can hardly be manipulated, pun intended). If society wasn’t inherently misogynistic, women wouldn’t be scared of aging.

@ronaldojosegroto8746

2 ай бұрын

The best comment ever

I think your are more attractive for me thats y i came to see your videos.. looking beautiful is just a spark its not a connection to soul

@astoldbybrittany4342

Жыл бұрын

aw thanks for that. Yes, I'm with you on the connection to the soul. That's what I love to do with people, connect.

I never realized that I need to hear about aging from a 32 yo😂😂😂

@astoldbybrittany4342

2 ай бұрын

Happy I could help.

This was great. I am 72 💕NonnaGrace 🐓