All my life I have been desperate for everyone's approval because any time someone looked down on me or judged me or didn't like me it triggered a feeling of being worthless. I'm starting to break the spell now.

Don’t fear your core!!! Facing the core is freeing!! Barb- you rock beyond words!!!!!!

@BarbaraHeffernan

5 ай бұрын

😀🤗 Thanks so much for your kind words (you made my evening!) . So pleased it was helpful!

Many thanks Barbara, I stumbled across some of your videos earlier this evening bc I was looking for self limiting beliefs. Your above video is so informative. I will take the info to my therapist next week. I think I have two negative core beliefs that are seriously hindering my professional & personal life. I so want to heal them so I can succeed ❤ Many thanks again ❤

Thank you!

Very interesting! Thank you. I was married to a narcissist whose siblings were borderline personalities. I was dissappointed of myself because I learned that I could not be a saint because I felt like I wanted to reject them. I was raised in the Catholic Church and I thought I had to suffer with patience and love all their abuses. I learned better later. Rejected them and divorced my ex. Thank God!

@BarbaraHeffernan

Жыл бұрын

Yes, we can have compassion for people yet not stay in relationship and suffer abuse. Wishing you the best!

@gardenialeeman4932

Жыл бұрын

@@BarbaraHeffernan Thank you again! Lots of Blessings!

What a great technique. Thank you for sharing, Barbara!

@BarbaraHeffernan

2 жыл бұрын

You are so welcome!

i think you have opened up my thoughts about what to look for to help get a better understanding of why i feel the way i do . Empath is what im am and some selfishness also. so thank you for that and explaining in a better way than i thought.

Awesome video. So easy to apply and so incredibly revealing. Thanks again Barbara, you are an amazing therapist.

@BarbaraHeffernan

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you, Graham!

Thank you Ms. B, as always I feel you say the things that I need to hear directly to me. You help me to make this journey more magical, interesting and worth living!

@BarbaraHeffernan

2 жыл бұрын

that is so wonderful to hear! All the best, Barbara

You are amazing, thank you so much

Thank you for this wonderful video!!!!

Thank you very much for your help😊

Great information ℹ️

I love how you break info down and really bring it home.

@BarbaraHeffernan

2 жыл бұрын

I'm so pleased it resonates for you!

Thank you for helping me identifying the root cause of my problems uncovering my negative core beliefs. It now makes sense why I have been stuck in the same mode of thinking for over 20 years. Thank you Barbara. Much appreciated

Thank you!! Vey ,very useful.

@BarbaraHeffernan

2 жыл бұрын

Glad it was helpful!

This was awesome Barbara. Thank you for sharing this intervention!

@BarbaraHeffernan

2 жыл бұрын

You are welcome. Sounds like you might work with others? Yes or no, I hope it is super helpful for you!

Thank you, that's extremely helpful. If it always a fear that starts the chain of question? Or could it be that someone said this and that to me, and going downwards from there?

Very helpful 🙏

@BarbaraHeffernan

2 жыл бұрын

So glad!

Brilliant made me think about the way I retract in certain situations

When you’re beaten, yelled at, told how ugly stupid and worthless you are, and have rumors spread about you to ruin every friendship relationship and goal you pursue.. and this happens on a daily basis from age 0 to 18.. is it possible to ever recover?

This is super helpful!

@BarbaraHeffernan

2 жыл бұрын

I'm so glad!

Thank you so much for this video! I've been following you for a while and you explain CBT techniques very well.

@BarbaraHeffernan

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for letting me know. I'm so pleased you find the channel useful!

Wow, awesome technique and examples. So helpful, doable. Ty

@BarbaraHeffernan

2 жыл бұрын

SO glad to hear that - thanks for letting me know!

Very powerful video! I can definitely relate to this in many ways.

@BarbaraHeffernan

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for letting me know!

Very nice and informative video. Thank you for sharing 💛

@BarbaraHeffernan

2 жыл бұрын

You are so welcome!

Very well explained the technique. Looking forward for more videos.

@BarbaraHeffernan

2 жыл бұрын

Awesome, thank you!

I'm a psychologist in the making and this technique would really help me in my placement.

Dear Ms. Barbara, Thank you for such an awesome video. This is exactly what I was looking for. You have explained the technique in a beautiful way with quite relatable examples. The common most dysfunctional core beliefs that clients often come with and how to get around to that root are indeed put together brilliantly. Thank you again :)

@BarbaraHeffernan

2 жыл бұрын

You are so welcome!

Amazing technique beautifully explained in a sincere genuine approach to better humanity

@BarbaraHeffernan

2 жыл бұрын

thanks! I take that to heart :)

youre the best! Im actually learning more psicology techniques from you rather than from my psicology degree

@BarbaraHeffernan

2 жыл бұрын

😄 So glad to hear you are gathering techniques and info that you can use to benefit others!

Hello, Barbara. It's been a while since I last wandered around here and to be honest I've missed your videos! Well, I'm gonna try to be bravely vulnerable saying what's to come because it's not the easiest thing to openly share but I hope it will help people who may share my experience somehow. I've been working on my core negative beliefs for a long time now and now I'm actually faced with one of the hardest of them to alter: the belief that mistakes should be punished (whether mine or others'!). I know it's a dangerous, scary belief to have (even if subconsciously) but I’m honest with myself because I do want to get rid of it because logically I know it's wrong and that it's not my place to pass judgement on others' behaviors as "mistakes" nor is it my place to excute punishment (and by punishment I mean psychological punishment like through blame or shaming etc). SO! My question is could you please make a video to shed some light on this: how to heal the core negative belief that mistakes (yours and others') deserve punishment? ... it's so destructive to my relationships and to many aspects of my life cause the minute I perseve someone's behavior as hurtful to me (or even as a threat to hurt me) whether they're acting this way intentionally or unintentionally, I get defensive and start the manipulative punishment as a way of intimidating them into staying away and not hurting me. Please, I really need your help on this and I think it will help lots of people suffering from the same issue if you generously decide to do a video on the topic. Thank you so much ❤

Thanks for your video! If you get to your core belief or beliefs with this exercise but you’re still having a hard time and experiencing anxiety stuck in the fight or flight, are there any video recommendations? I’ll definitely mention this to my counselor but I’m curious if you had any other videos on that?

I have quite a few negative core beliefs. Thanks for this video.

@BarbaraHeffernan

Жыл бұрын

You're very welcome. I hope it is helpful!

Awesome video and thank you Barbara. Love from Bangalore, India.

@BarbaraHeffernan

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks! So glad you found the channel!

Ma'am do make a video about cognitive disfunctiong.. memory loss... Psychosis

This is going to help me become a better person overall

@BarbaraHeffernan

Жыл бұрын

Wonderful!

As always, super smart and compassionate. But it raises a problem I have with CBT in general: why do we assume core beliefs are accessible to this rational process. What about the preverbal or traumatic memory? Will having "better thoughts" repair the structures of feeling that drive so much maladaptive behavior?

@BarbaraHeffernan

2 жыл бұрын

yes, I understand and agree that CBT is not always enough for preverbal trauma...

@lesleygarvs4640

Жыл бұрын

I have heard emdr helps... Yet... It s a proccess

Thank u Barbara 💓 I can relate so much to ur content. I am from South Asia and taking CBT therapy but usually fails in completing the tasks my therapist assign me. I would really appreciate if u can plz suggest the best way to watch ur videos. I mean the sequence of watching ur content. Stay blessed

@BarbaraHeffernan

Жыл бұрын

Hi: I have quite a few playlists - you can find them on my YT page. Choose the one that sounds the most helpful to you!

@munibaghafoor624

Жыл бұрын

@@BarbaraHeffernan Sure. Many thanks. Yesterday I watched ur vlog 'finding core beliefs through downward arrow technique' as my first self help session. Today I will watch 'transforming ur negative core beliefs'. I am hopeful it will work. Let me thank u again for the valuable contribution. ❤️

I think my deepest and worst core belief that everything always comes back to is that I don't excist.

@BarbaraHeffernan

Жыл бұрын

Hmm, That sounds tough. The techniques to rewire negative core beliefs can still help with this one.

Can you do one for obsessive scary thoughts and how to do exposure with them?

@BarbaraHeffernan

Жыл бұрын

Interesting question. There is a thing called Pure O OCD - I don't have a video on it, but it may be something to look into...

Barbara, thank you for your incredibly helpful videos. My wife and I have been going through your pdf on Transform Your Negative Core Beliefs" and it is very helpful. I have two questions: In Part One, Step 5, I think there's a typo in the fill-in part. Maybe better as "How True it Feels"? On Part Two, Step One, should not the second sentence end with "do this for each Negative Cognition?

@BarbaraHeffernan

11 ай бұрын

Thanks for pointing that out - I will double check it! So glad to hear the pdf is helping !

Hi Barbara, I’ve been enjoying your videos for a few months and using many of the techniques you teach. You mentioned sublimating on a video and I am unclear what that actually means in psychology terms. Can you define for me?

@BarbaraHeffernan

2 жыл бұрын

Hi Cindy: Sublimating is when an emotion is denied and pushed down, and it often comes out sideways.... I don't actually remember which video I mentioned that in, so can't really provide context unless you let me know. All the best! And so glad the videos are helpful!

Thank you for your video. You talk about find your core belief, but don't you think we have multiple beliefs about ourself?

@BarbaraHeffernan

2 жыл бұрын

Yes, absolutely. Usually if we drill down into the negative ones, the ones that keep us stuck, there will usually be 2 or 3 overarching themes - that is what I call the "core." But we all have multiple beliefs, some positive, some neutral...

My negative core belief: as a queer darker hue black woman, I won't be taken as seriously by certain networks if I don't achieve the credentials required for my expertise to be honored as merit. Especially, for promotional opportunities that have strong expectations for professional performance to be observed and considered. So I have to work twice as hard, to be seen as valuable in the career field for even an eyebrow raise of piqued interest and not overlooked

Great technique. But What after identifying your core beliefs?

@nadernikmorad73

2 жыл бұрын

That is also a thought and you are not you're thoughts you are the one who is watching them,be the watcher

@BarbaraHeffernan

2 жыл бұрын

Yes, the PDF I offer (link in notes under video) goes through three options for rewiring your negative core belief. I also have a couple of videos that address this, including this one : kzread.info/dash/bejne/eW2Tq9CPeMiao8Y.html. And I offer a free webinar on "Rewiring Your Brain" which talks about healing these beliefs!

My dog barks to much and it bugs me . Thats my core belief

Do you have private practice? I would love to work with you.

@BarbaraHeffernan

Жыл бұрын

Hi: I no longer do psychotherapy. I have a very small 1:1 coaching practice, and some online programs. www.awakenjoy.life for info. Thanks for asking!

So, I feel worthless because I think everybody thinks I'm worthless. What now? How do I reprogram myself, deal with the brainwashing and the bullying and the abuse during my formative years that made a big chunk of who I am? My computer knows it's garbage, my human kind of gets it but he's constantly being hit over the head by my angry chimp.

@BarbaraHeffernan

2 жыл бұрын

Hi: I do talk about this in my free webinar, link in notes under video!

🌹🌹🌹 😍

@BarbaraHeffernan

Жыл бұрын

😀

I have been hurt the most by my own f-ather n eldest bro . I don't want to die with my f-ather.

So.ask.yourself.all.the.questions..who.?.answers.them

EMDR? lol

This sounds a bit too deep. Live well , n that'll heal your woundings. I don't need this. Nope.