Life itself is so imperfect and short. Let us make for ourselves a comfortable bed to lie on. Don’t judge others through our own limied view and understanding. My gratitude to Paul for sharing your experience. I will surely remember what I like and not dwell on what I don’t. Even among us siblings, each household has its own way let alone a different culture and a different nation. My parents always taught me “When you enter someone else’s home, you will respect their way.” As a guest i never had such beautiful time as when I visited Kyoto and Nagano. The Japanese way is a gift to our world.

I saw a black guy who was a Japanese citizen and native Japanese speaker get Nihongo Jouzu'd at an airport by a Japanese couple. It was brutal. Imagine dealing with that your entire life.

@ExJapTer

2 ай бұрын

Yeah, its much easier for me to not be bothered since I really did come from "Gaikoku." That said, I have seen a number of interviews with people like the man you describe, and most seem to be completely chill about it.

Thanks for speaking on this topic. It's helpful for those of us working here. I'm looking forward to listening to your podcast. 🎧

@ExJapTer

2 ай бұрын

Glad I could be of help in some way. Thank you.

It was very Informative for all that Small accepts in between that you are Highlighting.Please do other video.Personally by living residential in 3 countries: I feel that Issue everywhere to a different extension.Japanese discrimination feelings like: More,because of Unique Society,History and Culture.Thank you so much:)❤

Good video. Like your T-Shirt!

@ExJapTer

2 ай бұрын

An oldie but a goodie. (Of course I don't have much call to wear it in my normal life, but thought it worked for a video.)

Joining a club/group or even just frequenting a restaurant or bar is a great way to create a sense of belonging and build trust with Japanese people. I'm moving to Japan in June, but previously on my trips to Japan I always went to the same bar/restaurant and made sure to keep practicing my Japanese. They'll appreciate the fact you're taking time to learn Japanese and visit them frequently and you'll eventually start being invited to people's houses or parties and be considered a friend

@ExJapTer

2 ай бұрын

Thats a good point - just being a "regular" somewhere. It doesnt have to be alcohol - skip the Starbucks and find an old school kisaten for your daily coffee and hang out.

@cetriyasArtnComicsChannel

2 ай бұрын

There's a gap between joining you at a bar and start inviting you to hosted parties. Even as an american, it does take time, especially if you're not the personality type

@michaelscoble8498

2 ай бұрын

@@ExJapTer My local Famimart knew me very well. After a short period of awkwardness where they did not know if I was a visitor or a resident, they came to know that I was in the neighborhood and we got on with casual familiarity. Of course, that was not much of being a regular, but it was the most regular for me in the neighborhood.

I think this is the type of insight that a lot of people need to hear. I believe that among foreigners there could potentially be a fear of being ‘othered’, however it’s great to hear that with effort and genuine interest one can find their community or second family. Really cool video!

@ExJapTer

2 ай бұрын

You bring up fear, and that is definetely a thing. I know someone who got turned away from a small local restaurant early on in their Japan life, and they basically stuck to chain stores after that over fear of it happening again. Taking the leap takes some courage, and it wont always 100% pay off.

I'm doing Kendo and living in Japan it made me feel more accepted than non-kendo Japanese. However, I imagine that if there is a club/hobby there are several foreigners, Japanese poeple might feel too intimidated to approach you.

I lived my first 28 years in England, and my next 18 in Australia..... I've been in Japan for more than 30 years, and I'm MORE ACCEPTED here than ever I was in those places..... （⌒▽⌒）

@ExJapTer

Ай бұрын

That's awesome to hear, and I am not surprised, really. It is an easy country to carve out your place, as long as you are willing to make a few adjustments to local ideals.

@jiji1946

Ай бұрын

@@ExJapTer well, life is a weird and wonderful thing.... and now, at 77, I'm having the best time of my life, not entirely due to Japan, but it's certainly a major factor. I'm so used to it that I sometimes, very occasionaly, experience a momentary epiphany, on a railway station, in a bar, anywhere.... wow!!!! I'm in Japan. or wow!!!! i'm speakiing Japanese. makes me LOL.....

A lot of this depends on where you live as well. Urban vs rural, foreign “traffic” etc. Southern Japan feels much more welcoming overall. But also depends on the community.

@ExJapTer

2 ай бұрын

Yes, different areas will mean results may vary, but the general sentiment that making the effort is appeciated holds true. Southern where exactly?

@Battogami

2 ай бұрын

@@ExJapTer Agreed. Okayama, Osaka, probably other "O" cities :P

@cetriyasArtnComicsChannel

2 ай бұрын

I got that vibe in smaller towns and sapporo too. If I wanted to move there, I'd live in one of those places

@missplainjane3905

2 ай бұрын

@@cetriyasArtnComicsChannel You live in a big city

@missplainjane3905

2 ай бұрын

@@Battogami It can apply to any country

Thanks for this, as always. I subscribed to your channel a few weeks ago and I’ve been binging on your past videos. I am waiting for the proper moment to ask you a question: you said a long time ago that it wasn’t true that Japanese males don’t marry foreigners. You said the fact is they often marry foreign Asians. This would suggest that the correct statement is that Japanese males tend to not marry Non-Asians, doesn’t it? This would be in line with casual observations in the streets, versus Japanese females. Interested in your take on this. Cheers!

@ExJapTer

2 ай бұрын

Honestly, many Japanese guys can be a little intimidated and really shy about approaching white or black women. It isnt because they are not interested! If you listen to my podcast episode with Tifa, you'll hear her wild, almost 'process', in which she started seeing the guy who is now her husband. Long story short, the first time they met he totally froze up and couldnt even talk. So she sort of blew him off - but he didnt give up and came back more confident the second time.

They’ll tell you. You can live in Japan since birth, speak the language perfectly, get citizenship, but if you’re not 100% Japanese by blood, you’ll never be Japanese

@ExJapTer

2 ай бұрын

Unless you win tennis championships. Then you are 100% Japanese. ;)

How old is the T-shirt you are wearing?

@ExJapTer

2 ай бұрын

Circa 2005....

you said that you have recently started talking philosophically about "what it means to be a Japanese", how do you think that discussion fits into 道徳教育 ?

@ExJapTer

2 ай бұрын

Interesting question. I admit I dont know much about what is actually taught in "moral education" so I dont know the answer. I should bring that up the next time the class discussion is about "Japanese-ness".

Great advice! 15 years here.....and avoid foreign groups, they're weird.

@ExJapTer

2 ай бұрын

Mixed groups work well, but yeah, exclusively foreign bubble groups are often insufferable.

How do the Japanese view older foreigners, say 65 and older?

@ExJapTer

2 ай бұрын

I can't authoritatively say, but I do know several people who are retired and are just as much a part of their communities as anyone else. It's such a rare thing though, that the foreign retirees here are often very interesting and special people.

Why would anyone really want to?

@ExJapTer

2 ай бұрын

Good question. Different personality traits I guess. I want to understand Japanese culture and history deeply, but I have no desire to be seen as Japanese, but thats just me.

Just be yourself lol

@ExJapTer

2 ай бұрын

I can't be anyone else!

most japanese are not part of ANY group. only an infinitesimally small proportion of japanese population are gregarious in a sense of having a family, or interacting with coworkers, or joining clubs, or whatnot: a normal ordinary japanese is: a single person without any friends or acquaintances, who is doing odd part time jobs

@ExJapTer

2 ай бұрын

Sure, but a Japanese person doesn't need to take any particular actions to "fit in".

I have decided that via my travels in Japan, you get back what you invest. People respond to genuineness. I sat next to a couple at an Izakaya in Yamanashi, and the next thing you know they had invited me to stay with them at their home for a week for my next trip to Japan the following year. Friends for life. That’s Japan to me. 🫶🏻

@ExJapTer

Ай бұрын

Those are the best experiences! I think too many tourists miss these chances by making their Japan trip all about a hunt for the viral photo spots.