It’s amazing how a person can say any random nonsense, followed by a wink and the words “…if you know what I mean” to quickly trigger a whirlwind of interpretive guesswork in the mind of the listener

I have seen high status people talk in this way, but I did not understand how/why they did this. Thank you for dropping this gem.

My man. It happens to me when I see the world through someone as intelligent as S. Pinker, that I feel, and maybe become, momentarily, as intelligent. I see the world with borrowed lenses. Thanks, Mr. Pinker. You're my man.

-Woman says something to me. -Me decades later: "Hey, she was hitting on me."

@bradsillasen1972

15 күн бұрын

I feel your pain. How many hits did I miss. Too soon old and too late smart.

It is interesting, and this video says lots of things I've noticed, but this can also backfire, because people sometimes just talk vague and never take action. Also in social situations, directness can be appreciated, although euphemisms are funny. If the other person you're talking to likes you, I feel like whatever you say doesn't matter. That being said, very interesting topic, Stephen. These are things that definitely are a part of language.

Very interesting video!

It is worth trying to develop social relations by distinguishing the positions of contextual discourse, and this is what makes linguists more useful to the general public rather than specialists, and this is the paramount function of linguists to ensure the effectiveness of discourse and reduce confusion in understanding as much as possible.

@StevenPinkerPod, what are your thoughts about this in a cultural context? For example, the Japanese are famously nuanced in their communication. Also, isn't it possible that the gentle language of "Please pass me the butter" is because that is how each of us would prefer to be asked?

There are relationships with third-party non-present authorities that can be called into action upon any misstatement or misdeed. There are relationships with friends and family that are completely different depending on the friends and family and the excitement level they like or the politeness or unemotional or very emotional relationships. There is ownership of property and transfer and the outcome of that and how it makes a difference in how we speak. Is there a best way to speak in a free and caring relationship? Maybe yes maybe no. But it's interesting to think about thank you.

Besides innuendos, there are non-verbal signals, such as eye contact, mirroring another's gestures, and similar attempts to establish rapport.

inYOURendo :)

Wonderful stuff.