totally understand now that my ex is an avoidant. glad relocation didn’t happen, my decision was right after all.

You have helped to give me closure about a relationship that has been very heartbreaking to me. I needed to hear this. God bless you for what you are doing on KZread. ❤️

I was in a long distance relationship for a year, it was amazing. We seen each other every other weekend and once I relocated. It went down hill from there. I’m a great partner, but I was too emotionally available for him and I was breaking down his walls, we talked about creating a family that all of a sudden the relationship is done. SMH 😮‍💨

Spent a year being given love and affection long distance, we meet up have an incredible 24 hours together, the next day once I’m back home “I don’t do long distance relationships”

@marwaahmed6889

19 күн бұрын

The Same happened to me 😢

My first long term relationship was with someone who displayed dismissive avoidant behaviors. Interestingly, we lived 2.5 hours apart after she moved away (we later moved in together, but this went on for over a couple years apart). I also find it curious that the other partners I had that had similar avoidant attachment style traits were also 30+ minutes away. Even another subsequent relationship was another 2.5-hour distance! I did not feel satisfied or connected to these types of women due to the distance and the lack of time together.

Recently got dumped by someone that could be called an avoidant. Is there a way to spot an avoidant early in a relationship? Once is enough.

@smaimer4974

19 күн бұрын

If they always again snd again mention that they have their wall up, that they are sooooooo. Independent … stuff like this but especially in the first 2,3 months they are love bombing as fuck, start to talk about marriage and life together in the future, kids, etc. - snd they display cold warm push n pull, so if you validly chritecize them. Watch if they give u the silent treatment and can totally suddenly shut off all emotions

@witsuw

19 күн бұрын

@@smaimer4974 You just described what happened. Love-bombing, future planning, pulled back after 6 months, at the peak of our relationship, 3 months of hot&cold, and then just ghosted without a breakup text. Thought all those love-bomb was because we had history together (childhood friends that reconnected). Lesson learned. Deleted that person from my life.

@CryptoTaurusMoon

19 күн бұрын

They'll be hard to read. Monotone. Their previous relationship collapse reasoning has no depth or catalyst. Sex can be good, but you'll notice it's not initiated or zesty, just going along with what you want. They might say, I don't really put myself out there or not good at relationships

@witsuw

19 күн бұрын

​​@@CryptoTaurusMoon That person did went along with whatever I planned for our dates. No input or whatsoever for me to make the experience better. Shoulda take "I'm bad at communication" more seriously.

@MinorKey135

19 күн бұрын

The one I dealt with would invalidate my feelings, not engage with my reasoning during disagreements (literally said she didn’t understand what I meant by engage when I brought it up 🙄), say she wasn’t really a hang out person (even though she also said I was one of her closest friends, promised to support me during a rough time mentally then got upset when I kept asking to hang out (like literally just spend a nice time together), refused to compromise, etc So like if they communicate indirectly, bring up things that bother them (recent or not) when you initiate a conversation about what’s bothering you, they only give you some of the things you want only on their terms while digging on the other things you’ve expressed etc It can be overt or subtle but none of that sh!t flies

Can you do videos on co parenting with an avoidant or how avoidant are with their kids?

It was a long distance relationship he discarded me

So how do Avoidants change to becoming more Secure?

@spiritwanderer777

19 күн бұрын

years of therapy, so good luck with that if the DA is not willing to self reflect

@Apbt-rv7zw

19 күн бұрын

@spiritwanderer777 Which therapy helps Avoidants... this attachment style is very difficult to deal with. Most people can self reflect but this is kryptonite to Avoidants. So which therapy? Given that there are so many modalities of therapy.

@spiritwanderer777

19 күн бұрын

@@Apbt-rv7zw my best guess is a therapy with a licensed psychotherapist who also specializes in attachment theory and can help that person identify triggers, causes of fears of intimacy, how to change patterns etc.

@Apbt-rv7zw

19 күн бұрын

@spiritwanderer777 Easier said than done. My wife had had therapy on and off for the past 20 years. She is on her mid 40's now. We have been married for the past 6 yrs (now separated), and nothing has helped. Granted, she had to want to change, and at times, I've seen her desperation to want to change and then succumb to her avoidance over and over again. Wondering if Coach Ryan has any good advice when it comes to the healing of Avoidants?

@spiritwanderer777

19 күн бұрын

@@Apbt-rv7zw that's why i said good luck, because it's nearly mission impossible