My husband and I are DINKS but not by choice. 2 miscarriages and a host of medical problems has put us in this category BUT our focus is on children. Volunteering for local homeschooling groups to help with educational programs, kids at church, friends and family's children are who we spend our time and money on. And they are so very special to us. All to the glory of God

@Lacemary

6 ай бұрын

Praise God for your devotion to children! This is so encouraging! I pray that The Lord would heal your body, open your womb and bless you with a precious child in Jesus’s name! 🙏🏻❤️

@sabl6381

6 ай бұрын

Bless y'all. I think this is a major way you can tell who are DINKs by choice or DINKs by circumstance.

@christinapfeifer4218

6 ай бұрын

You and your husband are not DINKS. DINKS intentionally choose to not have children. I am sorry for your losses and health issues, but I commend you and your husband on the positive attitude of children, that’s beautiful.

@Jess-wy9yb

6 ай бұрын

God bless you!

@AllieBethStuckey

6 ай бұрын

🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Choosing not to have children could be considered brave and responsible. As a former foster parent I witnessed first hand what those who should have never had children do to innocent kids. The damage is not easily undone. A loving foster home alone does not undo the hole created in a child whose parents didn’t prioritize, value or invest in them. For those DINKS who recognize they don’t possess the selflessness to raise good children, I thank you.

@GodSoLoved.Yeshua

6 ай бұрын

Evil exist in the world our hearts are wicked. Jesus is the solution, not resorting to stop a God given gift of having children.

@ruthpiazza2831

6 ай бұрын

No one should be pushed into having kids. End of story. People can still use their time and resources for good causes.​@@GodSoLoved.Yeshua

@GodSoLoved.Yeshua

6 ай бұрын

I never said men and women should be pushed to having children...

@pjfamily8176

5 ай бұрын

@@GodSoLoved.YeshuaNope I disagree. It takes someone who is very self-aware to admit they don’t possess the mental or physical capabilities to give a child a home they deserve and to say “ i’m not having children, because I am not capable of being the parent they deserve”. That being said, I don’t think it should be glamorized to not have children, but if someone knows that they are going to be a bitter, resentful and a mentally unstable parent, I 1000 times prefer for them to not have children Some people know that they have too much trauma, and I applaud them for not unloading it onto an innocent child and continuing the vicious cycle.

@blackworldtraveler3711

4 ай бұрын

@@pjfamily8176 You have to be weak minded,paranoid,and trapped in the matrix to think a one hour KZread video is glamorizing. I recommend that you keep thinking everyone who doesn’t want kids are mentally unstable if it helps you cope with your daily grind.

I was in an abusive “marriage” and didn’t have children (thank God) because I didn’t want them to be abused. I am now in a godly real marriage and we are looking to adopt because we can’t physically have children.

@keljells

6 ай бұрын

I hope you are blessed with a wonderful family. ❤

@texasmom131

6 ай бұрын

Praying for you. Adoption can be a difficult and frustrating road.

God hasn’t blessed us with children yet. Infertility is very lonely and difficult. I supposed I would qualify as a “DINK” but I pray that my circumstances will still change.

@RachelDee

6 ай бұрын

Please rest assure when you hear these topics, we’re not automatically referring to or assuming all couples fit the “child free movement” stereotype.

@Lacemary

6 ай бұрын

I pray that The Lord God would bless you and open your womb so that you can conceive in the name of Jesus Christ I pray. Amen 🙏🏻❤️

@sabl6381

6 ай бұрын

​@@RachelDeeYes. There is a huge difference between people who are childless by choice and those who are childless by circumstance. Worlds apart.

@britineedean8435

6 ай бұрын

Praying for you ❤

@Harleytrigger

6 ай бұрын

@rain0450 we serve the GOD OF THE BIBLE!! The word tells us that if we love Him and keep His commandments, He will give us the desires of our hearts! My marriage was childless for 8 years! At the point of separation (because we walked away from the Lord and it almost destroyed our marriage), He gifted us a son! I have a praying mother and the Lord heard her prayers! My miracle baby is now almost 2 years old❤

My husband and I were married at 22 and enjoyed 2 incomes in our twenties. We paid off debt and travelled. When we had kids in our 30’s I did not return to work. Loved being home with the kids! They’re teens now and I still do! And it was not such a stressful decision to make as we were much more financially stable in our 30’s than we were in our 20’s. I have no regrets waiting a bit before we had children, but having children is so much more fulfilling than career, concert tickets, and travel.

@myronidasvestarossa

6 ай бұрын

Good for you! But for me, I find fulfillment in other activities more than children :)

@GodSoLoved.Yeshua

6 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing! But how would you know it's more fulfilling, you've never had children of your own. You can't compare with something you've never experienced.

@veggiedumplinn

5 ай бұрын

@@GodSoLoved.Yeshua would rather not roll the dice on something that my entire being is telling me I shouldn’t do.

I’m part of team SILK. Single Income Lots of Kids.

@dderr1356

6 ай бұрын

Us too ❤

@tlohry570

6 ай бұрын

Us too, figured one paycheck would cover the daycare so mom would be better.

@GratiaPrima_

6 ай бұрын

Smoooth. Haha! ❤

@bethanyreimer

6 ай бұрын

Amazing 😍😍

@fawnleegreene7688

6 ай бұрын

God Bless you!

How dare people live the life they wanna live. The nerve of some people thinking they have a choice to have kids or not.

@mcul3474

5 ай бұрын

It is great to live a selfish, empty and vacuous existence. Sounds great!

@katieholmes8661

5 ай бұрын

@@mcul3474I tutor and do big sister. I'm also an aunt. Are those things shallow?

@kashq502

5 ай бұрын

It isn't the not having kids. Some ppl don't want kids. Some people shouldn't have them. Some can't. That all depends on tons of variables etc and can even boil down to simply being ones' personal choice . What bothers me is when someone glorifies the attitude of being unashamedly self centered and narcissistic, and then looks down at everyone else who chooses to, you know, carry on our species. It's not exactly a novel idea to reproduce. We just happen to be a species with such an over abundance of everything except community, self control, and selflessness, that some of us literally don't have enough time left after all the "me, me, me" time to carry out basic functions of human survival (such as raising offspring), and then mock the ones who are. THAT is the stuff that truly amazes me. Ijs.

@blackworldtraveler3711

4 ай бұрын

@@mcul3474 You must be an orphan growing up with no uncles,aunts,cousins,etc.. You are on your own with your kids so work hard and long. My nieces and nephews won’t have no issues funding their college/trade school, first car and home down payment,and starting Roth IRA at 14. Also it might be a good idea to get paternity test on your kids.

I used to be a DINC when I lived in California. (Double Income No Cash) After having two kids we moved out! 😂😂😂😂

@keljells

6 ай бұрын

DINC sounds like so many of us right now. There should be a new movement with THAT at the center!

@magyarmainer4692

6 ай бұрын

Omg. Hilarious

I really struggle with the holier than thou attitude that videos like these portray. Saying that having children literally makes you better is quite lacking in humility. Many people don’t think twice about having kids and aren’t very intentional with their choice. One could also argue that having kids drives up consumerism significantly - since you touched on consumerism. Plenty of people who have kids are selfish - even the wanting to have kids is a desire for oneself. This idea that no kids = selfish and kids = virtuous is so simplistic and narrow-minded.

@lancethefilmguy9392

6 ай бұрын

The fact that people try to tell complete strangers to have kids just because is quite frankly really weird

@shelleymull5261

6 ай бұрын

Thank you. My thoughts exactly.

@z.s.r.h

6 ай бұрын

she never said anyone was BETTER. just that having kids does give you a different perspective on life you cannot understand until you have them. most christians take child bearing very seriously and are extremely involved in their kid's mental, spiritual and emotional growth. they actually care about what they're learning in school and many home school. obviously not ALL are that involved but that is indicative of any demographic of people. generally though wanting to raise kids in the Word and intentionally is something many christian parents do.

@shelleymull5261

6 ай бұрын

@@z.s.r.h of course I agree with all of that. Society functions better with a thriving nuclear family as its nucleus. This isn’t debatable. My issue is that right is turning this into something that is railed against if you fall outside that paradigm. It’s a big turn off and doesn’t advance the gospel well for non-Christians because it comes across as self-righteous. Secondly there have been plenty of times throughout history with a great deal of absent fathers. Think about a whole generation of kids raised in Europe without fathers after WW1. They grew up to be a the soldiers of WW2 - an incredible generation. The problem is our society is becoming increasingly Godless, not necessarily absentee fathers. Third, you can’t name a video “the sad life of Dinks” and then get angry with people who “misinterpret” the content of what was said in the video. I hate putting people in this categories. It’s what Marxists do. Too many broad generalizations are made for my liking. I love Allie and she’s my sister in Christ. She messed up here. It was insensitive and offensive. We all make mistakes. It’s cool.

@pbmechura

6 ай бұрын

Agree. She keeps bringing up this topic lately and I don’t get why

Just chiming in to say that I work with elderly, and the vast majority of them have children. The vast majority also rarely get a visitor. So, your mileage may vary. No one ever thinks that their kid is gonna put them in a home and go on with their lives. But that’s exactly what happens in the majority of cases (in my experience).

@z.s.r.h

6 ай бұрын

still you have more of a chance than someone with zero kids lol. then you have literally no chance at all.

@LykaLo

6 ай бұрын

@@z.s.r.h True, but having a "slightly higher chance" isn't much of an argument, especially for people who don't feel a strong desire to have kids to begin with and would only consider it to not be alone when they are old.

@z.s.r.h

6 ай бұрын

@@LykaLo slightly is not the correct word. if you teach your kids the importance of families caring for each other your chance is exceptionally higher than no chance at all. we are taking my parents in when they're too old to take care of themselves. setting the example is important. also that's not the only benefit to having kids... it expands your perspective and appreciation for your life in ways you cannot think possible before you have them.

@veggiedumplinn

6 ай бұрын

There are millions of other things that one can do to expand their perspective and appreciation for life. I for example work with people with mild to profound levels of intellectual disability and I've found that has affected me so deeply, I can't see myself doing anything else. @@z.s.r.h Also, what you're leaving out of your calculation is that many seniors develop conditions that necessitate round the clock hands-on care. Dementia, urinary and fecal incontinence, loss of motor function or speech due to stroke, etc. There's a long list of conditions you're not considering when you say you'll take your parents in and care for them. It will be a full time job at some point, and that's why there are organizations/institutions that hire people to do it.

@NinaR478

5 ай бұрын

Perhaps on white culture. Definitely not in brown homes

My husband and I are good friends with a dink couple. Children are not for them, they have their reasons, we respect that. They are really nice though. So generous with our children.

@Bec_love

6 ай бұрын

Thank you for humanising us, we are not all selfish ❤

@TJ89741

6 ай бұрын

Perfect comment right here. I’m 37 and I ll never get married or have kids. And I have zero regrets about it. I have plenty of friends who are married with kids and good for them. Just not for me.

@katieholmes8661

5 ай бұрын

@@TJ89741I think if more people had your self awareness the world would be a better place.

@blackworldtraveler3711

4 ай бұрын

Yeah the first thing some people says about DINKs is “selfish” because we made a choice and happy with it. But yup that’s the normal attitude of DINKs. Happy seeing,meeting,and knowing families with happy healthy well mannered kids. Invited one of my neighbors and his son on a fishing trip to Florida last spring with myself a nephew staying at my beach condo on Marco Island. My sister and I are DINKs but she’s married over 30 years and I am not but together 22 years. One thing we can guarantee is that the nieces and nephews in our family won’t have any issues with funding their Roth IRA at 14, college/trade school, first car, or down payment on first home.

I personally dont want kids. I dont like kids to begin with, they are annoying at best. I know the responsibility that comes with children. Children are a life-long commitment and choice and I can fully understand and respect those that dont take said choice. Whilst I agree that it isnt good to brag about it, people should also not be pressured into having children.

@immichellerivera

6 ай бұрын

You were a kid. Sorry someone hurt you.

@RachelDee

6 ай бұрын

I feel sorry for you. That’s a lot of contempt towards vulnerable human beings to have to carry or work through

@aHavenForTheLost

6 ай бұрын

Pray about it because it's not your choice it's God's whether you have children or not. I used to get annoyed quickly with children when I was younger but God changed me. He gave me a new heart and now I wish I would've had 5 kids. I just adore them now. I am blessed with one boy and one girl and they are my everything. ❤

@flowerpower3618

6 ай бұрын

I agree unless you are a believer. Then it’s important to be open to the Lord changing your heart. If not then do your own thing

@ruthpiazza2831

6 ай бұрын

​@@aHavenForTheLostNonsense!! It is absolutely an individuals choice to have kids. It has nothing to do with God.

I read years ago that the number one most common regret is not having more kids. People actually wished they had more kids than the number of kids they had.

@endersdragon34

6 ай бұрын

For some no doubt that's true, lots of people desire more travel and more exploration.

@fayejordan175

6 ай бұрын

@@endersdragon34 This was the most common regret, meaning that was the regret of most people. Of course some people had other regrets.

@endersdragon34

6 ай бұрын

@@fayejordan175 I mean most people still have kids assuming they can afford them... so... it seems like these might be the people that don't fall into the "most common"

@fayejordan175

6 ай бұрын

@@endersdragon34 The regret is that they wish they had a greater number of children. That is the most common regret.

@immichellerivera

6 ай бұрын

I feel this. I wish I would’ve had more when I was a bit younger.

As a new Christian woman who chose not to have kids, I find this topic activating for me. There's a lot of judgment that come from those that feel morally superior because they are parents. Also, the family of the childless can be particularly awful and judgemental. If people didn't judge then there would be no need to be defensive about this choice, and probably this DINK movement is a response to that.

@ninamarise237

6 ай бұрын

I agree and support 💯 God puts different desires in our hearts and each plan is unique so if your desire isn't to raise a family then you are doing God's divine Will for you 0 0:41 r life!!! It doesn't mean that you can't be a motherly and nurturing woman of God to all people

@shelleymull5261

6 ай бұрын

I chose not to have kids and I’m a Christian. I went back and forth a lot about this over the years but I’m happy where I landed. I’m afraid too many Christians with this very vocal stance will turn people away from knowing the true bread of life.

@kristavelasquez9400

6 ай бұрын

Not everyone is called to be parents & that is okay!!

@sarahbagby2634

6 ай бұрын

Just want to say that your choice is 100% valid. You can be childfree and still be compassionate, loving, sacrificial, offer things to this world, and so much more. Don't let people make you feel less than for your choice. There is a movement of childfree people (and yes, a lot of us are Christians) speaking out because we are tired of being made to feel like we are inferior or broken for not choosing the same lifestyle as the majority of people. My husband and I are not only Christians, but we work in ministry, and we are childfree by choice. It's not an easy choice to make in the regard that plenty of people make snap judgements about us and make comments that they don't realize are actually really hurtful. But God has different plans for everyone and there is a community out there that will encourage you and support your choice!

@shelleymull5261

6 ай бұрын

@@sarahbagby2634 I love that. Thank you! I’ve explained this interaction with my friends and they were surprised/shocked that so many Christian women have this level of condescension for a woman choosing not to have kids. Some of the comments out here can be downright vile. Saying women without kids will die alone and miserable, etc. That type of attitude should be discouraged but it’s not unfortunately. All too often, it’s encouraged in Christian circles unbelievably. I really don’t get it as a Christian woman. I’m very happy with my life choices. I’m free to pursue mission work, etc that parents don’t have time for. Im also free to travel, etc. and there’s nothing wrong with that. I refuse to apologize for that level of freedom. This is a thing that just sets me off. It makes Christianity look unappealing for those who aren’t.

Some of the most giving people Ive met were Childfree by choice people. If people don’t want to have kids thats ok. If they do and are responsibly doing so then thats ok too. DINKS aren’t evil people.

@ElisabethLynn

5 ай бұрын

I’d rather people who don’t want kids or who would be terrible parents not have kids than have them and totally traumatize their children’s lives.

@blackworldtraveler3711

4 ай бұрын

@@ElisabethLynn Too late for all of that. You haven’t seen nothing yet though. Just wait until paternity tests become mandatory and back checked.

I have a cousin who decided not to have kids. Her and her husband are unbelievers. What i see from them is a lot of boredom. There is never a date night, or a kid free time for them to look forward to. Being able to do whatever you want whenever you want, takes some of the specialness from your relationship. And my husband says it unites a married couple more. Because you are team, in the trenches, trying to raise good human beings.

@peterchen16888

6 ай бұрын

Love this perspective!

@sabl6381

6 ай бұрын

Yes. I love my husband now more than ever since he is the father to my children and we are in the thick of it. The best things in life require sacrifice.

@LykaLo

6 ай бұрын

That's true for some couples, but not everyone. Some of my married (and Christian) friends actually became more distant as couples after having kids. Due to the stress, the arguing, the husband's disrespect toward the wife, etc. Groups like "Christian parenting" on Facebook are full of messages from people struggling in their marriages after kids. In addition, nobody should have kids with the hope of improving their marriage. The marriage should be good and supportive to being with, especially since a lot of times, kids add strain to marriages.

@lashastafox3739

6 ай бұрын

@LykaLo I absolutely agree! You shouldn't have kids if your relationship is on rocky ground anyway. Kids are hard. And most couples aren't prepared for the change they bring. Just something I have observed in my life, from a couple with no kids. They have been married many years, and it's not as fun for them anymore. It's just boring and lonely. They are grandparent ages now, but have no future generations to look forward to either.

@d.r.u.

6 ай бұрын

This is cope

have you been watching parents who's adult children have cut them out of their lives??? having children isn't the great happy- ever -after you think it is!

@Me-hf4ii

6 ай бұрын

If you send your children to Rome for education, don’t be shocked when they come home Roman. Schools and pop culture teach and incentivize mistreating parents and breaking family ties… There are ways to avoid this. But if you live of the world rather than just in it, and you teach your children the same - then rejecting you shouldn’t come as a surprise.

@z.s.r.h

6 ай бұрын

lol nobody is saying it's easy having relationships growing up. it can be hard. life as a christian in general is not about the path of least resistance though, things WILL be difficult and we have God with us through it. not having kids purely because you're worried you'll mess up enough to where they won't talk to you as adults is choosing the more cushy path. we aren't called to be comfortable.

@ThatHoosierKid17

6 ай бұрын

@@z.s.r.h Do you realize how difficult life can be for humans WITHOUT kids? Trying to suggest people are 'weak' for not choosing to have children is wild lol

@z.s.r.h

6 ай бұрын

@@ThatHoosierKid17 there are obvious situations where it makes sense why you wouldn't choose to have kids (bad medical issues or disability, infertility, in an abusive marriage, etc) and i can imagine not having your own family would be hard and lonely. the main problem is there are lots of people who just enjoy having excess and living for themselves and selfishly and that's why they chose not to. our society hates kids, and it's apparent everywhere. being pro-family whether or not you can physically is important.

@ThatHoosierKid17

6 ай бұрын

@@z.s.r.h Look buddy there's NOTHING wrong with being pro-family. Just like there's NOTHING wrong with being pro-single. You don't have to like it, but it doesn't make it wrong.

Im the only one of my 5 siblings who is not a Dink. My husband and I have 3 kids and they are the only grandchildren on both sides. My adult siblings go to Cabo, Napa Valley, Disneyland on a whim. We might go to Dennys or to the lake a couple times a year. It’s so weird and it makes us feel impoverished compared to my affluent Dinkwad siblings. I wish my kids could have cousins. It makes me sad because I feel like everyone thinks of me as the unsuccessful sibling in my family. I’m the only one showing up to family events in an old car, dressed in thrifty finds, without a stamped passport, or expensive hobbies. Everyone buys expensive gifts for each other at Christmas and we bring homemade craft gifts…But I love being a homeschool mom of 3. I feel like this is God’s purpose for my life right now. I just feel like it is so hard to relate to my Dink siblings

@ethereallioness

6 ай бұрын

I obviously don't know anything about your family, but maybe your siblings could be going through their own trials in their own relationships, maybe infertility or something else, and that's really why they don't have children. Some people are afraid to be parents. They also might deep down wish they had what you have or something like it. Money can bring great experiences, but it can only go so far. Maybe they are also using it to fill a void they haven't figured else how to fill (not saying children need to fill that hole, only God can), but they sound very materialistic.

@Jayar_

6 ай бұрын

We need more people like you! 👏

@immichellerivera

6 ай бұрын

🎉😂 I love this! Our family does have some kids but they’re the worst lol your so right tho- all of my DINK family is image obsessed and obsess over things we couldn’t care less about (new cars, expensive trips etc). I guess it doesn’t help that they’re not believers and think public schools need more support 🙄

@swisschalet1658

6 ай бұрын

The family you have created will pay you dividends throughout life. Your family tree will grow more and more branches and fulfill you like no concerts for vacations ever could. Just wait. Parenthood gets better and better as the children grow through the different stages of life.

My husband and I are DINKs by choice for the most part. I have a long list of why I don’t have children and I don’t need to explain that to anyone else. It is strange that people flaunt it though. The only time I brag about being childless is when I am able to take a nap in the middle of the day 😅

@Me-hf4ii

6 ай бұрын

I have children. We all took a nap in the middle of the day a few days ago 🤷‍♀️

@z.s.r.h

6 ай бұрын

i take naps every day with my kids lol!

@pbmechura

6 ай бұрын

You’ve done nothing wrong and don’t owe anyone an explanation.

@ashleyholder2218

6 ай бұрын

@@Me-hf4ii that’s awesome! Neither of my best friend’s kids take naps. They haven’t since they were a year old and they also wake up before 6 am every day 🙃 poor thing only gets a full night’s rest when she and her husband take a solo vacation

@whitneyanders5945

6 ай бұрын

They are not flaunting it. You wouldn’t even know about them if random KZreadrs didn’t take random TikTok’s and create an entire hour’s long video discussing it. People share everything on social media and not everyone has to like it. That’s life.

I'm a Christian and have been married now for 10 years. I've never wanted kids, not because I dont love kids (I adore them), I just never had that desire to be a mom. And my whole life, I have been kinda shamed for it. Seen as less of a woman, less of a daughter-in-law, and i guess now less of a Christian. I think it would be foolish to have a kid, just because the world told me I should. Allie is a mom, so I get she's got a different perspective, but the same life isn't for everyone.

@Bec_love

6 ай бұрын

Amen ❤ Jesus loves us each individually. We all have our blind spots, I forgive Allie for hers ❤

@julietted8086

6 ай бұрын

Do you know why you don’t want kids?

@jessimedina5841

6 ай бұрын

@julietted8086 Honestly, it could have something to do with my childhood, but I truly believe it was God's providence. You see, I have stage 4 endometriosis, and the doctor said it would be very hard if not impossible for me to have kids. I wasn't fazed by that news because I never wanted to be a mom anyway. But I see women in my situation that can't have kids and it breaks their hearts, and I am thankful to God that I don't have to know that pain of wanting a child and not being able to have one. Much love to all the moms out there and all the "Dinks" (I guess, but I really don't wanna be called that lol)

@texasmom131

6 ай бұрын

Fine. Take precautions. I'm not going to shame you or say you're less of a Christian. But if your contraceptives ever fail and you get pregnant, I PRAY you and your husband can find it in your hearts to welcome your child and give him the love he deserves.

@texasmom131

6 ай бұрын

@@julietted8086 I didn't want kids because I had a narcissistic mom and mental illness runs in my family.

Having children is one of the hardest and the most glorious things a person can do. We had two children very close together and the personal and emotional sacrifice is truly great. Sometimes we all cry together, and but we also all laugh together. Yes it seems like our personal adult freedom is gone, but we also know that this isn't forever. We have family whose children are in their teens and older, and those personal freedoms absolutely return to the parents. Teens begin to spend time with their friends, doing their own things so-to-speak, and sleeping in and going on dates become the norm again. Every hardship is only for a season, and I believe the decision not to have kids should not be made on something so selfish and honestly very temporary. Children are only little for a very short time, and every parent we know ends up longing to go back to those times when their children were little. It really is precious, no matter how difficult. The "DINK" ideology unfortunately only focuses on the here and now, but what about the long-term future? It doesn't consider family 20, 30, or 40 years from now. I personally do not want to be alone with my spouse on Thanksgiving and Christmas when we are elderly. If I should outlive my spouse, I don't want to be alone without family or alone when I die. My grandmother passed away a few years ago, and I am so grateful that my grandfather has his adult children and adult grandchildren to spend the rest of his days with, or how lonely would that be otherwise?

Allie, I’m so thankful for your continued messaging about surrogacy. It’s a topic I really didn’t give a lot of thought to before. You have made the moral issues surrounding the commodification of babies crystal clear. Thank you!!

Yeah I was a dink until i was 30.. Now I'm a trad wife with 3 babies

@jamieo3869

6 ай бұрын

Amen! Me too! (Third baby still cooking 🧑‍🍳)

@GodSoLoved.Yeshua

6 ай бұрын

34, tradwife expecting baby #8 👶

I’ve heard a lot of different perspectives when it comes to DINKS. And I loved this perspective of it! You came with such grace and love for those people and bringing a biblical perspective not just a political one. I appreciate this podcast so much.

you said you think everyone should have kids. i feel like that is because when you think about "everybody", you think about everyone you know or everyone at your church. but there are a lot of people who absolutely should not have children. people with crippling mental illnesses come to mind first. think about every instance of horrific child abuse ending in the death of the child. you think it was good that all those obviously disturbed people had children? you most likely dont even consider these types of people when you think about "everyone" because you are only thinking about slightly different versions of people like you who are living slightly different versions of your life.

@AllieBethStuckey

6 ай бұрын

I specifically addressed married Christians. I also caveated that there may be a few exceptions.

As of now, my husband and I are DINKs, and we go about our lives like anyone else. I don't understand the need to publicize it to the world. Maybe in my 30s, I'll change my mind about having kids, but I’m at peace with not having any for now. I'm also a believer; it’s awesome hearing church folks being open and honest about not wanting kids for a long time before they had any. Sometimes, there’s a strict box you feel you have to conform to, and if you don’t, there’s something wrong with you. I love hearing both sides from Christians: those who knew from a young age that they wanted kids and had them and those who chose not to or took their time to have them.

@Bec_love

6 ай бұрын

I love this perspective, thanks for sharing. Kids aren't for everyone and that's okay.

@cassieshoemaker4733

6 ай бұрын

Personally I think the "dink" trend online is more of a response to people saying "we're moms" and then complaining about how much they hate their lives 😂

@Jayar_

6 ай бұрын

How do you justify not having kids as a Christian? That’s one of the main purposes of Christian marriage?

@jennd2515

6 ай бұрын

@@Jayar_ I don’t have an answer to justify not having kids. All I know is that we’re newlyweds, and I have no desire to have kids right now. I have tried for a year to “force” myself into that mindset and nada. I have met believers who said they were married 5 -10 years before having kids. So it was great to hear that not everyone gets married and gets the kid bug immediately. Whatever is meant for you, marriage, kids, etc, it will happen in God’s timing, not in man's :)

@avataranime101

6 ай бұрын

@@jennd2515You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone. Having kids is not for everyone.

Essentially what you're saying is that it's sinful to NOT have children. Honestly the topic is ABSOLUTELY none of your business. If anything, it's between them and God. Not judgmental KZread lady sat upon her holy high horse

I understand not everyone is in a DINK situation by choice, but let's be honest: that is usually the case in the modern age. Contraception and women being brainwashed into obsessing over their jobs gives the illusion that children are a lifestyle choice. This won't bode well when people grow old and the hobbies and vacations lose their luster and the rescue pets have all died.

@labmitch

6 ай бұрын

Wait until ISLAM takes over and FORCES all the GIRLS who currently feel they don't want kids. The MUSLIM faith doesn't give a woman the CHOICE of not having kids or refusing their husbands.

@Jayar_

6 ай бұрын

1000% correct

@TaraBoblitt

6 ай бұрын

Wow...judgmental much?

@Jayar_

6 ай бұрын

@@TaraBoblitt this person is 100% correct. It’s a simple observation of the current landscape.

@RAJOHN-ke7mc

6 ай бұрын

Then they'll get new hobbies and new pets

The World was made for us. Men, Women, children, birds, animals, etc! Dinks sounds like immaturity to me. Bragging about what you have because you dont have kids. . . Really. You guys WERE KIDS once!

@Bec_love

6 ай бұрын

People without children are allowed to exist too ❤

@katelyntheberge7963

6 ай бұрын

well said

@GodSoLoved.Yeshua

6 ай бұрын

DINk is a stage of life as I see it. But personally I wouldn't want to stay in that stage of life.

@emilyann4549

2 ай бұрын

​@@Bec_love Yes, they are allowed to exist, but it is not something to brag about. And if you are childless and you do nothing to contribute to the lives and children and families, you are selfish. You will reap what you sew.

Nothing wrong with having an income and no kids.

@InfoLunix

6 ай бұрын

I'm sure she knows not all people/couples fit the “child free movement” stereotype.

@miasma19

6 ай бұрын

Yep, everyone should be free to do what they want. Being a parent of 3, life is great. As long as people find their way. I just get annoyed when people push their views on everyone else. 😂

@narrowpathfarm

6 ай бұрын

We are told to be fruitful and multiply:)

@Jayar_

6 ай бұрын

Christians are called to have kids. There’s no biblical case for marriage and actively choosing not to have kids

@whitneyanders5945

6 ай бұрын

And? Must you do everything that you are told. What’s the point of having a brain if you are not using it properly and deciding what is right for you.

I am without children due to medical issues and in my early 40s. I won’t say that it’s the same for everyone, but of the women I know like myself -physically unable- and the others I know who thought and willingly made the choice to not have children, I can say that 7/8 are living with a feeling of “emptiness”; only 1 is completely fine with it (at least from all they are willing to speak on). There is just something biologically inherent in women being mothers and motherly and there really is an ache when you do not fulfill that duty, for whatever reason. The saddest part is those who were sold a lie about feminism and having full, childless lives and being happy with it and are now too old to go back and do it over.

@jendee1260

5 ай бұрын

agreed. ❤

As someone who is in her late thirties with three kids, whom I honeschool so we are currently a one income family, here is my advice to young people. Have them kids! Have them young! You can be a DINK, which I had never heard if before this video, when your kids are grown. You will be so much more stable and typically one of the two of you, if one stays home, which I fully recommend, will be so much further in their career, have more PTO, will have a house and it possibly paid for. You will know yourself and your spouse so much better. When husband in that video said , "I'll go to all the football games and play 18 holes anytime I want to...," makes me think of the kid who only wants to eat candy but after a while becomes sick and doesn't even want candy. Also the candy is no longer a "special treat" to the kid. A life of cushiness isn't fulfilling and becomes empty after some time. 🤷

@sarahbagby2634

6 ай бұрын

But the thing is, if you have kids, you will never be in the "dual income, no kids" category. You will always be a parent once you've made that choice. It's not just an 18 year commitment as some like to say. So for a lot of us, we understand that it's a lifelong commitment and we have chosen not to do it. Also, comparing an adult having a hobby like golf to a child eating too much candy is silly. Those two things are not the same at all. Assuming that because someone has time to pursue a hobby they are living a life of "cushiness" is pretty inaccurate. People with kids aren't the only ones who struggle and go through things in their life, and they certainly aren't the only ones who experience fulfillment in their lives.

@Jane-ow7sr

6 ай бұрын

"have them young" exactly! I feel like the majority of issues we have surrounding people is that they wait too long. And are in general not taught responsibility, morals, etc. hence the cycle continues But if we have children young and teach them correctly they can go out in the world and improve it while you can sit back and enjoy the fact you've made actual impacts.

@Aniexo_

6 ай бұрын

How about we just don’t have kids bc we don’t want to.

@Recoveringred

6 ай бұрын

We had kids young and for those that know they want them I see nothing wrong with it. But to push it on everyone seems so wrong. And no one talks about after they’re grown. If there’s no special needs and you’re a good parent they’re independent young adults who don’t need you in the blink of an eye. It is really hard to build your life around people who won’t need you in a few short years. It’s not forever. It’s very fleeting. The older I get and my children get the more I understand how someone could forgo having children. I’m genuinely glad we did. But it’s very commendable to control your fertility your whole adult life and not have them. It all happens so fast anyway.

@Recoveringred

6 ай бұрын

@@Jane-ow7srlife isn’t honored. We are at the end of a repeating cycle and soon the earth will implode upon itself before it renews. 😅

I need to strongly disagree with you in regard to adoption not being the best thing for a child, and rather their bio parents. This is absolutely, unequivocally wrong, as I have worked in child services for 20+ years and have seen so many times loving, caring, unbelievably wonderful adoptive parents get their children ripped away from them in the adoption process by their bio mom wanting them back after going to drug rehab, detox, etc. More often than not, the bio parents do not change and the chances of that child becoming just like the bio parent increases exponentially. I have seen these children that were given an opportunity to grow up with safe, loving parents that are great citizens of society, but were ripped away from them to go back to their unfit bio parents, only to now be repeating the same abhorrent behaviors they did. Most of them are just like their parents were when I started this profession, on drugs, having babies at young ages that are taken from them by the state, only to be given back to them so that they can use them as a welfare meal ticket, committing crimes, etc. Wash and repeat. Now, are you going to tell me that it is better to have these innocent souls be raised by their bio parents than a loving non bio couple that is going to give their child the best life? Most of these children in adoption or foster facilities are not there because they had fit parents. They are there because their bio parents were not fit to be parents. Period. Remember the girl in the closet? If not, put girl in closet in an internet search and read her story. This child was raised by her biological parents and was raped, starved, beaten and thrown in a closet for sometimes days living in her own feces. If you can still tell me that her bio parents were a better pick than being pulled out of that hellhole and placed into a non bio parent’s safe and loving arms before the abuse started, than I will completely lose all respect for you and will immediately unsubscribe. You can see this poor child as an adult on Dr Phil and the life long trauma this has caused her.

@qubio2908

6 ай бұрын

Was adopted myself, I completely agree with your post.

I’m in a dink relationship. I do not plan on having children because I would be terrified trying to raise a child in the world we live in today. I have huge respect for all of the good mothers and fathers out there. I think it’s incredibly stupid and self serving to make videos about how great it is (or how you THINK it is) to be childless. Why make a video about it? Just live your life.

@A_Pie323

6 ай бұрын

That’s the weirdest part to me, making the active choice to record these videos and posting them online. My husband and I are childless I suppose by choice, we’ve never tried yet. But we became believers in the past year and do plan on trying and God willing, have kids. I can say after 8 years together there is a bit of a void and both of us do want children now, and previously didn’t for like 6 years. Wouldn’t catch me dead making a video about anything and posting it anywhere though.

@veggiedumplinn

6 ай бұрын

Why is this logic not applied to the opposite side? Those who decide to have children are free to share what life with children looks like without being accused of what you’re talking about. But people without children are criticized for sharing their lives. Personally, I think that EVERYONE should stop sharing so much about themselves on the internet. But people are very unfair to couple without kids.

@Me-hf4ii

6 ай бұрын

If good people don’t have and raise children for the next generation, the world isn’t going to get better. You raise your culture. In some ways, you breed your culture. Sitting out is like saying you want things to just get worse…. But they wont keep getting worse. There are a lot of SILKs out there (single income lots of kids) who are homesteading and homeschooling - and those kids who are being raised in what amounts to a different world are eventually going to become adults… there are a lot more that are homeschooling and raising their children outside the control of the state - and that is going to have an effect. Right now they are just doing it to protect their family from the insanity you mention, but one day, those children - and there are a lot of them - will join the conversation as adults… so it might not be as hopeless as you think.

I dabbled in your show for awhile until your interview with Kat Von D, ever since then I've become a full on "Relata-Bro"! Thanks for all the great energy and encouragement Allie Beth! ❤

@mguerramd

6 ай бұрын

If only, Kat especially, they could stop saying "like" every third word. Sigh. I made a conscious choice to remove all obscenity from my language, and I cussed like a sailor! But it's not proper so I quit. It is possible to change your language, I'm proof. Saying "like" incessantly makes you sound as though you are a college freshman, not a well spoken adult. It may be petty on my part but, as Rush used to say all the time, 'Words mean things." Still, I enjoy this podcast enough to cringe my way through it. ABS has some great insights and guests. Her interviews with Becket Cook and Rosaria Butterfield were EXTREMELY uplifting for me, giving me hope for a couple of family members. I pray daily that they get the Becket Cook Holy Spirit slam. So yeah, I'm also a RelataBro!

@mmilliganjr

6 ай бұрын

@@mguerramd I do remember that about the interview, and also being slightly annoyed by it. The term "like", is a grammatical parenthetical pause, akin to "umm". It happens when people aren't used to public speaking. She was probably super nervous and way out of her comfort zone. Respect 🙏

My husband and I decided to wait to have kids after we got married to enjoy just being together and our marriage. Then once we decided to have kids and had my daughter she has been such a blessing to our lives. Yes, sometimes things are hard emotionally or financially but she is totally worth it!! We have found a balance between taking care of her and spending quality time with her and doing some (not all of course) of the things we want to do together or separately. But like Allie said, you sacrifice and I willingly do so because my daughter's smile is everything to me!

I think it's important to have kids, if you are able. It changes your perspective on life and grows you into a more selfless person. We are called to deny ourselves.

@GodSoLoved.Yeshua

6 ай бұрын

✝️👏

@myronidasvestarossa

6 ай бұрын

You can do that without children anyway. You can deny yourself and be a blessing to others while being child free.

Amazing as always Allie ❤️😭 I cried watching this, as I’m cooking dinner and my baby boy is sitting here watching me. Children are the biggest sacrifice but also the biggest gift anyone could ever have. Thank you so much for not being afraid to talk about all of these unpopular opinions! The world needs more people like you! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Really appreciate your mention of Primal Wound. As an adoptee this book explains so much.

Having kids out of obligation and not a calling is what has led to so many unloved children. Knowing kids are not for you is a good thing we should encourage.

Allie, thank you for standing up for Truth and clearing up these issues. To God be the glory!

My husband and I married after college and made a good living- traveled quite a bit. None of that was ever as fulfilling as being a mother. I have one child and have been unable to get pregnant naturally again. I’m getting used to the idea of a family of 3, even though that wasn’t what I initially thought it would be. I love being a mama and I thank God for blessing me with my daughter ❤

Dude my mother comes to get my two oldest and I have no idea what to do. It’s so quiet it’s boring without them. My two oldest is three and two. I can’t imagine not having them how boring things would be. Nothing would be the same without them. I love all of my babies.

I am glad me and my husband got that no dink’s period in our life. However after a while everything that we did - eating out, movie nights, traveling, being able to sleep longer on the weekends and being able to go crazy on snacks and such, all became kinda boring and the same, we still had responsibilities, we had to go to work (and thank God for that), but we really wanted kids. And when they came, everything changed, but having had that time we had and feeling like it was enough, i don’t have any regrets, because i know that it gets boring after awhile, and with kids you get to almost relive your own childhood, and you get to love them and cherish them, you get to hug them, they are so cute and most precious souls. It’s very hard sometimes, but i am vey thankful to God i get to experience this, i know it’s not for everyone and i respect that, but to decide to not have children because you have fear for future - it’s a mistake. Don’t ever base your life decisions on fear. If God gives, God provides.

I’m perfectly fine being a DINK. To each their own.

@valeriya105

6 ай бұрын

When you're on your death bed, you won't be. This is the most selfish generation

@crystal.ann.b7347

6 ай бұрын

I’m not sure what generation you’re referring to…I’m middle aged and medically unable to bear children. Having a child does not guarantee that your kids will care for you on your deathbed…I’ve seen many families where children only come around for the will to be read…so yeah, no guarantees.

@pbmechura

6 ай бұрын

@@crystal.ann.b7347don’t led these rude people get you down, you are doing great!

@DenMarieMor

6 ай бұрын

⁠@@valeriya105wow

@jd.4244

6 ай бұрын

@@crystal.ann.b7347I work in healthcare and many of my patients had and do have large families. A lot of their children have put them in nursing homes in different states and never visit. It’s really a toss up whether or not your kids visit you or not. Nothings guaranteed.

I really enjoy your show! I have to say though, neither you, nor the people you mention piloted these concepts about family planning. I am not trying to convert you or be confrontational, but as a journalist you should read the Catechism of the Catholic Church. All of this is covered. I really appreciate that by applying Biblical principles that we all know do not change with the times, you came to the same conclusion the Catholic Church has always held. My son goes to a Christian Reform School that is down the road from our home. I love the lifestyle and adherence to the Bible of my reformed brothers and sisters. I do Have an issue with the concept of predestination because I do not believe it is Biblical. They have lots of issues with Catholics but still love our family! You are so honest, genuine and intentional. I admire you immensely for your courage! I hope you will take an honest look at the teachings that have stood the test of time and when new fads came, the Church guided by the Holy Spirit was not deceived.

Been married for one year and we are DINKS. I long for the days when we have children praying it comes soon! I totally agree with you when you said that we are meant to serve, put the needs of someone else before us.

I guess I'm a DINK. We never tried or prevented ourselves from being parents. Figured if God wanted us to have kids, it would happen. We were both serving in the military and dedicated to our roles and also devoted to one other. I wish that some churches had small groups for married couples without kids bc the couple groups with kids cannot stop talking about parenting. Not asking for the lifestyle to be 'glorified'. It's just that the discussion always turns to raising kids. I feel bad for the husbands who have wives that can't talk about anything else but being a mom.

@jennyj2223

6 ай бұрын

Yes, it’s disrespectful to those who can’t or choose not to have kids. Mostly though it’s completely annoying! I have a kid and my kid is having a kid and to be that way would drive both of us crazy

@stephaniewilkes1763

6 ай бұрын

My husband and I are DINKs, not by choice. We have the same issue - we have tried lots of small groups at our church but feel like we have nothing in common and nothing to contribute to the conversation because everyone our age has multiple children already and we are childless. It's very lonely.

@ADaughterRedeemed

6 ай бұрын

Why not talk to your pastor or someone influential in the creation of ministry groups in your church about the creation of such a ministry or small group? Or you yourself could request to lead and or throw out the idea to see if anyone is interested in the creation of such.

@kikik5266

6 ай бұрын

I just wrote out a whole reply and it disappeared while I was typing. Uhg. Small groups are meant to study God's word and get to know the people in your group. In my 20s I was in a church that was less about age groups and lifestyle and more about geographic location. So I was in groups with elderly and teens (older teens) as well. So the whole spectrum of believers in my church. So the conversation was mixed and varied. There were parents and they did talk about their kids but not exclusively. I haven't been to a church that really does that in more than a decade. Heck, I've spent years in a city where they didn't have them at all. So maybe purpose the idea to your church to have a geographic based small group not restricted by age or marriage.

@edf18

6 ай бұрын

Go to a different small group where you can relate better. Age does not have to be the only unifier

Dink sounds good & there is nothing wrong with not having kids, just like it’s ok to have 10 kids without money. 😂 There’s really nothing glamorous about either, it’s expensive to live, period.

@blackworldtraveler3711

3 ай бұрын

The difference is dinks aren’t complaining about today’s economy. My girlfriend and I are dinks and retired debt free in early 40s regardless.. Inflation isn’t an issue. Feel sorry for the single mothers and families with debt.

The people bragging about this are extreme but this is really something we need to stop asking and pressuring about. You have no idea what someone is going through. It could be miscarriage, inability to have children, loss, etc. Not everyone may want to share their struggles with family. Yet people are demonized as selfish dinks or constantly reminded of their childlessness at all family events.

@sabl6381

6 ай бұрын

Obviously there is a huge difference between the mentality of foregoing kids by choice vs when you want them but can't have them for whatever reason. But it is totally reasonable for parents to want their grown children to marry and have children. We live in such a silly, selfish generation to act like this is an imposition.

@loveGod211

6 ай бұрын

@sabl6381 It's not always a huge difference to a probing family member because often people don't want to disclose infertility. On the outside people assume they don't want, yet they don't truly know.

@yeetnama9094

6 ай бұрын

You imply that somehow dinks walk around with some introverted, quiet secretive veil over themselves or something. *NO* like the video, they never stfu about how proud they are of their choices to *NOT* have kids in lieu of backpacking through Europe and being annoying tourists in general and adopting "fur babies" So this comment is completely irrelevant, and I'm not sure why there's these repeated comments like this pretending to not understand the general context and points made in the video just to be contrarian

@loveGod211

6 ай бұрын

@yeetnama9094 Her primary audience is probably women from 21-35. The reason you're seeing comments like this is probably from women, like myself, in this demographic that are tired of being painted this way. All of my close friends want children and so far unfortunately many of us have had miscarriages and most don't tell their whole family of people asking when will they have kids or telling them they are selfish for not having a family.

@lds251

6 ай бұрын

@@loveGod211i haven’t even watched this episode yet. Mormons pretty much look down on couples without kids. I’m a born again Xian. I am wayyy past childbearing age with no children. It just didn’t happen. I had PTSD in my 20s-30s and I would have been an absent mother between counseling sessions and Dr visits. I didn’t want my kids to resent me for that. So I don’t think I’ll watch this episode.

Hope I'm alive to see the DINKs make videos about how they regret being DINKs

@DM-sj9xd

6 ай бұрын

How Christian of you.

@lisawesome7588

6 ай бұрын

@@DM-sj9xd as if Christians are anything but human

@Indigo3.7

6 ай бұрын

Studies show having kids makes you age quicker, and people w no kids live longer so good luck w that one. You can look all that up... FACTS

@CrazyMan0824

6 ай бұрын

⁠@@Indigo3.7lol. Tell that to my 105 year old grampa and my 103 year old grandmother that still living and strong. And my 98 year old grandma from my mother side. Both side large families 😂

@Me-hf4ii

6 ай бұрын

@@Indigo3.7even if that were true, you’re still a genetic dead end. I know it’s hard for modern people to believe, but not everything is about you.

For a differemt perspective. I am 'oh my gosh' a non believer atheist agnostic. I believe you only get one life and often that life is hard. As I grew up all we were told as kids was to make sure we didn't have kids early - to concentrate on getting good grades, get good jobs etc. Something that made and makes a lot of sense to me. I'm an unmarried male in his forties, no children - and no regrets. In fact far from it. When I was young I decided that bringin children into this world was almost an act of cruelty - certainly if I had any say in the matter I would have wished that I hadn't been born. Not because things were so bad, but as I look around the world I live in - full of corruption, full of hatred sickness and misery - with climate change and the threat of another big world war I am just so glad that I did not inflict those worries on another human being. The younger generation have it even harder than I ever did. It's impossible to get on the property ladder, to make work pay. Most people who have kids don't have the time to spend bringing them up the way they would like. Truly if you want to change this dynamic change society - don't judge anyone who chooses or cant for physical or financial reasons have children. Accept that everybodies path is different. Maybe a child is a blessing - but wouldn't it be nice to give them the best start in life with loving people around them. The qauntity of children born in this world isn't as important as the quality of life they will have. Governments, faith leaders put pressure on us to have children as a commodity of the state. That creeps me out.

My oldest son and his wife are DINKs & it makes me sad. At least I have other sons that might bring a grandchild into my life, but my daughter-in-law is an only child. Her parents won't have grandchildren unless our DINK offspring change their minds & decide to have kids 😢

@loveGod211

6 ай бұрын

I think this is something the inlaws need to step away from ideally. You have no idea what the truth could be. What if it's possible they cannot have children and they don't want the discomfort of sharing that? I know everyone wants grandchildren but I don't understand why it's considered okay to consistently ask or pressure.

@LykaLo

6 ай бұрын

@lisadewitte My husband and I are "DINKs" and the pressure that my mother-in-law has put on us for the past few years to give her grandkids has done nothing but deteriorate the relationship between her and I. We will have kids IF and WHEN we decide we are ready and willing to have kids. I never signed a contract with my MIL saying that I will give her grandkids. I don't owe her anything. And this attitude of entitlement is really obnoxious. Your oldest son and his wife will have kids if they decide THEY want to have kids. Leave them alone if you don't want them to resent you. In the meantime, if you so strongly want another baby/child, please consider adopting.

@kailaleebabineau3962

6 ай бұрын

​@@LykaLomarriage is literally to create stable families for children. You got married so it's normal to expect children. You want to be edgy and modern and childless, that's your choice. You can't expect normal society and millions of years of evolutionary procreative pressure to bend to your whims.

@LykaLo

6 ай бұрын

@@kailaleebabineau3962 I am not trying to be "edgy" and I never said I want to be childless. I'm just saying that my husband and I will have kids when we decide we are ready and want to. Family members trying to rush and pressure us does nothing but to put strain on relationships. Having kids is one of the most personal decisions one can make, and it's no one else's business.

@marlenestewart7442

6 ай бұрын

@@loveGod211 Western parents don't consistently ask or pressure in my experience, but parents from other cultures do and believe that it is their duty to do so.

So when their husbands leave them for women 10 years younger to have kids will they be OINKS?

Give these kids their participation trophy. 🏆

I was a Dink for years and I was very bored and unfulfilled. At a certain point I had everything I wanted as far as buying stuff. And we weren't rich enough to go on trips all the time. Well we had a surprise baby and now I'm a stay at home mom. It has been an absoloute 180 for me. I LOVE being a mom, it's the best thing ever and I absolutely cherish the time I get to spend at home. I find it alot less stressful than my old job and I am so much more fulfilled and genuinely happy.

@blackworldtraveler3711

3 ай бұрын

That’s what happens when living for debt,stuff,and things in stead of experiencing life. Your kid was a mistake and you had no choice.

All Women are not put on this earth to create children. I am fine with not wanting to have kids. I have alot of nephews and nieces and I am good. Its Too stressful and its our choice. Its completely fine to get married to a man and take care of our joined fur babies and travel. Noone should ever be shamed for their choice. Its shameful all the parents out here neglecting and abusing their kids. If you cant take care of them dont have them.

@lancethefilmguy9392

6 ай бұрын

Amen

@Jayar_

6 ай бұрын

If you’re a Christian, everything you said is contrary to what the Bible says.

@flowerpower3618

6 ай бұрын

Unless you are a believer. Then you must be open to the Lord changing your heart.

@GodSoLoved.Yeshua

6 ай бұрын

Absolutely, having children is a God given gift. Why reject it?

@lancethefilmguy9392

6 ай бұрын

@@GodSoLoved.Yeshua What if she can't afford a child?

I just realized I'm a SINK (or an OINK) 🙈, even still at 38. 😭 Sure, I have a full life, but I would still love to get married and be a SAHM one day. 🥰

@buckjones4901

6 ай бұрын

I'm a sink too, but quite a bit older than you, kind of sucks at times, but then also ok at times too.

I suppose me and my husband are DINKs then. We have no intention of having children, and I believe that’s a perfectly valid thing. To those who want children, that’s wonderful, but not everyone wants or is capacitated to be parents. It’s truly a personal choice and I think it’s wrong to guilt those who don’t want kids. I love children, I’ve worked in childcare (particularly in churches) various times and I have a fondness for them, simply not to have my own. Having children is a huge undertaking, and while that may be the desire of some, I believe the right thing is to respect everyone’s opinions.

@jessimedina5841

6 ай бұрын

Amen! I'm comforted others feel the same as me. ❤

@Bec_love

6 ай бұрын

Amen, children are wonderful and I enjoy being a part of my niece and nephews lives as well as my friends kids. They are just not for me.

@narrowpathfarm

6 ай бұрын

You have a role to play in the future generations-whether you know it or not. When you choose to have children and raise them right, you have a children to have a good influence in the future. When you choose not to have kids, there is less good influence to be had in the future. You either help improve, or degrade future generations. Raise kind people

@autumnfaes

6 ай бұрын

I respect your opinion, but this comment is unnecessary. You can absolutely impact future generations without raising children. There are plenty of children that need guidance and support currently (especially with the social/political climate) and I’m not adverse to providing that in a church or familial position. Saying that the only way to influence future generations is by directly having children is very shallow thinking, where there are so many that need love and support.

Our DINK days were so short I barely even remember them. I got pregnant 3 months into our marriage. Developed Hyperemesis gravidarum during the pregnancy and couldn’t work or do much of anything. I do wish we had a bit more time, but that just makes me look forward to the empty nest season. I do have to say that the idea that when that baby is placed on your chest you feel instantly connected to him or her simply isn’t true for many moms. I was just so relieved that this miserable pregnancy was over. I convinced myself he wasn’t mine because I didn’t feel anything different towards him than the children I had babysat. Thankfully our bond has grown over time. But to all the new mamas out there, it’s ok if you don’t feel the way Allie did.

@Aniexo_

6 ай бұрын

You were never a dink. Bc it’s a choice if you chose to have kids that you being on the fence

I could listen to your podcast 24/7. I love the way you are so graceful in speaking steadfast truth. It is admirable, and thank you for being on the first line of defense for Jesus!

Well said Allie on the differences between surrogacy VS adoption 😊

FYI: Not everyone WANTS to be a parent. You want to talk about God's design? How about the fact that we are so intricately designed by the Lord and not all of us are made with a desire to be a parent. To imply, or blatantly just say, that not having kids is a "trend" is ignorant and doesn't give enough credit to the people who have made that choice. The reason that more people are speaking out on social media about this choice is because we are tired. We are tired of being made to feel like inferior humans because we don't desire parenthood. We are tired of people preaching to us about the regret and loneliness we are "sure" to experience because of our choice. We are tired of being told that we are selfish and "godless". We are tired of explaining that you can not only live a fulfilling life without kids, but a life full of service, sacrifice, and love for others. And those of us who are Christians and have made this choice, we are tired of people using scripture to make us feel guilty, especially when that scripture is taken out of context. We are tired of answering the same questions, smiling politely when people imply that we will never know true love because of our choice. So many people, you included, don't seem to realize the cruelty of their words on this subject. Speaking for myself, my husband and I are childfree by choice. We also work in youth ministry and spend countless hours pouring into the young people in our community. We see the struggles of parenthood, of raising kids, and we see the struggles that young people are facing right now. We have the most amazing nieces and nephews who we love and spend time building strong relationships with. And yeah, we love to spend time together without kids and do things that are important to us. But we are not selfish people or "godless" as you so flippantly said. We just know that having children is not something we desire to do and honestly, I am not about to bring kids into this world begrudgingly. That is cruel. That is selfish. I won't do that to an innocent child. I am not going to bring a child into the world just so I can grow. I won't bring a child into the world so I can benefit. And I won't bring a child into the world if I am not fully invested in raising that child and spending my life being their parent. That would be an unwise and silly choice to be honest. The last thing I want to say is that you mentioned, almost in passing, that the word "childfree" is offensive to you. There is a reason we use that word. For those of us that have chosen not to have kids, we don't want to use the world "childless" because that word is reserved for people who desire to have children, but are unable to for any number of reasons. We have a respect for those people and understand that they are in a heartbreaking situation. We use the world "childfree" because we chose not to pursue having kids, it's not a loss for us. That doesn't mean we hate kids. Many of us are aunts and uncles or caretakers for children in other ways and we love kids. It's not a slight to children. It's a celebration of making a choice that is right for us and allows us to live the life we truly feel we are meant to live. I hope that you will consider the other side of this issue and the way that your words can affect other people.

@elenamanley5509

6 ай бұрын

Thank you for your remarks. I have a wonderful marriage. I don't feel 'less than' bc we didn't have kids. I also don't feel God's wrath for not having them. Our pastor and his wife do not have kids. They are wonderful people. I work in Family Law and see divorce on a daily basis. Talk about selfishness. The parents use the kids to get back at their soon to be ex spouse, but at least they were fruitful and multiplied. Am I right?

@GodSoLoved.Yeshua

6 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing your thoughts! And you can disagree, but it's actually God's design for you to carry life. Some are able some are not, ultimately He is in control. Carrying and birthing life is a God given gift. 🎁 ❤️

@sarahbagby2634

6 ай бұрын

@@GodSoLoved.Yeshua I don't disagree with you that God designed our reproductive systems and created women to be able to carry and birth babies. But that doesn't mean he intended that path for every single woman on earth. Like you said, some women are not able to carry children. God has different purposes and plans for each of us. The God who created something as intricate and beautiful as our reproductive systems also created women who have intricate and beautiful plans for their lives that don't include bearing children. So for you to say that God's design is for me to carry life, well, it is simply not for you to say. That is between me and the Lord and I am at peace with that choice. What I am not at peace with is they way that other Christian women treat those of us who have made that choice. Yes, carrying and birthing children is a gift, but it is not the only gift and some of us have been given other things.

@GodSoLoved.Yeshua

6 ай бұрын

I'm glad we can agree carrying and birthing is a gift from God. 🎁❤️

I'm still in college studying accounting and will be studying for my cpa license after college. I'm most likely going to be a SINK (single income, no kids), so this is a good reminder to use my time and resources to lift up my church while I have the time. If the husband comes, great. But I have no desire to force that onto myself, only if I truly see that God wants that for me.

Children are such a blessing. I can't imagine not wanting a child. We have a biological daughter and are in the process of adopting a child as well. Shout out of love to all the DINKS out there who are in that position out of circumstance/infertility/loss rather than choice. Blessings upon you

@lancethefilmguy9392

6 ай бұрын

Is it wrong not to have kids?

@jaydas8976

6 ай бұрын

@@lancethefilmguy9392it’s not, and don’t let anyone tell you that. It’s okay if you don’t want to have children. Honestly in my opinion, there are many people in the world who shouldn’t be parents, just because of the way they treat their children. Of course children are a blessing, but you don’t have to have them if you don’t want to have children

Before even listening too much of this I just have to say I know so many people who truly thought they would never want kids or have a desire to have children until they had them! Now some of them say they cannot even imagine saying something like that. Even as we get older we may think we want one thing but you never know what God has in store for you❤

@Me-hf4ii

6 ай бұрын

💯 this was ME. Always figured I would have kids, but never really wanted them. And then I had my first born, and I felt like the grinch when his heart grew 3x the size. I was a totally different person, full of this fierce love I didn’t know existed. My son changed me for the better, and opened up my eyes in ways I didn’t know they were closed. Having a family completed me in ways I didn’t know I was missing…

Put yourself in their shoes: Would I want to be a "kept man"? On some allowance from a socialite? Uh uh. Not even. I'm fiercely independent, and one thing I'll give to Big Tech is that they've nearly annihilated the glamour of wealth. What, with the virtual traveling, the live events, gourmet ingredients ect.

Funny how many people apparently think I'm "evil" for simply not pursuing sex.. 😂

I never really saw myself getting married, let alone having kids. But I ended up doing both. And we ended up with three children.I hope I am putting in the effort into them so that they will want my husband and myself around when we are old. I want my children around. I want them to build their lives up and want to be a part of it. My life will hopefully be full of family in my twilight years. I say all of that to say this: Being lonely is an epidemic. Now more than ever. Slowly, people without children will find themselves more lonely as the years pass them by. I've read something along the lines of if one needed to have kids to be less selfish, than you're already a bad person. However, having children demonstrates how to be less selfish, to nurture. Almost like marriage. It sands away some rough edges to form you into something better, more mature. Sometimes it takes a big life event to change for the better.

I am not able to have kids because my spouse and I are infertile. Also, the adoption process is complicated and costly and I cannot afford that process nor would be able to take care of them at this point. Further, I have medical issues with my eyelids and skin that I constantly have to take care of it and if I don’t, it could lead to detrimental issues. I would love to have kids but it feels like there are just so many factors against it. I would want to force people to have kids because the parents that are forced to resent their children

@z.s.r.h

6 ай бұрын

this situation obviously differs from someone not having kids so they can go out to eat all the time lol!

@TheClimateChannel

6 ай бұрын

@@z.s.r.h lol. I still feel guilty and resent the idea of never having kids since it’s something I would want and feel regret at an older age. But at the same time I know having kids isn’t reasonable for my scenario. It’s kinda depressing to be in this lose lose situation

I would love a slouchy hat that has a ball at the end 😁

Young people forget that one day they will grow old. As a hospital Chaplain I have met many, many lonely old people whose partner has died/left them/single by choice/have no children or are estranged from family members. No one comes to visit them when they are sick or dying. I have been to funerals where no one came to pay respects. I know of frail and angry old people who cut off all their friends and family and are permanently bitter at the world. Do DINKS think that will never happen to them? Even people who cannot have children do best to cultivate wholesome relationships so they are not alone at the end.

@DylanGonzales-gr8nu

3 ай бұрын

We all fucking die

How long do you think before the government puts a cap on how many kids someone can have?

Maybe its best. If someone goes around saying they dont want kids, that may be a good thing. Only they know themselves. I love kids - have 3 wonderful boys. :)

I was raised from age 5-18 without my mother as my father got full custody and I can tell you each of my siblings and I have mother wounds because of her absence but I will say we all are wonderful mothers and functioning adults without drug or alcohol issues we all are kind upstanding citizens so it didn’t impact that part of us just more so sad to not have our mother to nurture us but we did have our great auntie that lived across the street who loved on us

Amen, amen! Spot on! Great vid!!!

So actually, there are rumors that Disney was almost built in Santee SC. I couldn’t find anything official online about it but I grew up believing SC was going to have a Disney.

Should Christian people be making livings going on the internet passing judgement on everybody and everything? Is there not more important things going on in the world that need urgent hands-on attention?

That video of that couple… they sounded so selfish , I hope they aren’t surprised when either one of them cares more about themselves than the other and hurts them… you can’t be selfish in a relationship

Its good that they know they wouldn't be good parents anyway. If they had kids would they even feel wanted.. so all good. Plus this time in life is scary for all of us and me having kids I am always in survival mode. I had lots of time before them to do whatever I wanted. I now am so happy to be loved and love them every moment 🙏🏽🙏🏽

That will come? No, it's been 15 years. We are in God's will and this is His choice for us. Barrenness is a wonderful blessing! ✝️

This is sooo good!!

Does the Bible explicitly say it is a sin to choose not to have children?

@jaydas8976

6 ай бұрын

It doesn’t, cause it’s not. The Bible does say that children are a blessing not a burden, but it’s not a sin to not have children

@Abcdefghijajajaja

6 ай бұрын

Read the book again

@RachelDee

6 ай бұрын

It’s a specific command to be fruitful and multiply in the context of procreation. The Holy Spirit and covenant of grace provide freedom to discern to do what is right to the best of your abilities in all contexts. The episode covered a biblical outlook towards having children. It shouldn’t be a legalism issue of course. But not having families and children should not be the default.

@elenamanley5509

6 ай бұрын

Bible also says its better to be single.

@pbmechura

6 ай бұрын

@@RachelDee God telling the first man He created to be fruitful and multiply, right after telling the birds and fish the exact same thing, hardly seems like a clear argument. He is explaining that mankind will increase in number and rule over the animals who will also increase in number.

Listening to your podcast today, I think many of your points probably relate to all people - those with children and those who don’t. I felt judged by certain ministries for only having 3 children - clearly not enough for some. Those with children also must be careful not to be insensitive to those who are childless, because unless we personally know a couple then we don’t truly know why a couple is childless. Maybe some of these tiktockers are just covering up the pain of infertility by being over the top in glorifying their “childlessness” in these videos. (Just a thought) I’m glad Jesus truly shows us the better way to live 🥰 and care for ourselves and others.

@KatieHolmes-kz5qm

5 ай бұрын

I'm embracing DINK life currently because we aren't getting pregnant easily. I think it's interesting the shame that comes with me trying to look at the positives. Nor do I think I should keep my feelings to myself as we expect infertile people to do.

No one is alone when you have trust in Jesus ❤

Your hair looks so good!

SELFISH, SELFISH, SELFISH "dink" lol Who thinks up with these stupid new words??

I've already made multiple comments on this video, but I am very passionate about this subject. Allie here is acknowledging the selflessness it takes to raise children, especially on a Christ like path. Notice how most of the comments addressing this topic are childless people being defensive? I promise you, for every one of those comments, there are 100 mothers and fathers who are not being acknowledged for their sacrifices to raise their kids. No one is having kids. I'm 27 and I have 1 friend with a husband and kids. 1. The childless are not unique outcasts anymore. In a society where no one is having kids, because they are scared they wont be good parents, don't want the responsibility, and all the other reasons I hear, you would think we could acknowledge the bravery of becoming a parent. The irony of a woman speaking to her expirience of sacrifice to raise her kids, and the childless want to make it about them and how childlessness doesn't equate to selfishness. Really think about that. If you don't have the expirience of having children, it is true that you will never fully understand what you have to sacrifice to do so. Its just a fact because you've never gone through it. It is my belief that if you are childless you will have to work harder in your life to be selfless. The expirience of having children innately fosters selflessness, so if you haven't done it, it will be harder to accomplish. It is okay to be childless. It doesn't make you less than. However, know that the path you chose or were given, to not have children, should involve some sort of sacrifice to your community and to the children and families. If you live your life for yourself, it will be more difficult to live a richeous life. Even parents are becoming more selfish because selfishness is promoted in this culture. Whether you want to acknowledge it or not, we ALL need to work on being more selfless. This life isn't about you. You are here to contribute to the betterment of man. If you feel judged for being childless, maybe it wouldn't bother you so much if you knew you were doing something to contribute to families in replacement of being a parent yourself.

We were never double income but were not blessed with children. I regret not adopting at a younger age. Developed health issues that make adopting and fostering not an option. So I volunteer time with children's ministry.

Merch idea-shirt with the R’s about biblical marriage on the back and that classic graphic of a man and woman holding hands on front

In the 60s patrolling the DMZ , dinks was not a great name 😂

Me and my ex-wife had kids later in life. We had fun while we could then had kids. I don't regret it at all. They're now 22 and 18. Great young adults.

we never got to be DINKS lol! and honestly, it's fine, our kids are the light of our lives!!

Can you comment on plp who do surrogacy for a sibling? Such as for your brother.

Absolutely agree with you!

Metro Dinks consume far more than families living consciously on a budget. I got pregnant a week after my honeymoon, which I am grateful for and SOOO EXCITED TO BE A MOM. BUT I definetely don't feel like a dink lol. I was so sick for 3 months, I felt inadequate as a wife/homemaker/daughter/farmer/friend/employee. I feel better now but it's crunch time and we are on a strict budget. I am struggling intensely at work because I deeply deel like my focus should be being a wife/homemaker for the 4 months I only have that title.

Allie...how big are the mugs? I like really big mugs! Lol. I couldn't tell what size they are.

This is an odd trend. I’m not going to shame people who don’t want a family of their own or children…but I also don’t think it should be this flex they have and become a “movement”.

Relatable kitchen towels pls! 😍

It sounds like being a "DINK" is a choice and those who are trying to have kids or can't have kids don't qualify. Side note: Who could proudly call herself a DINK? Thanks, Tiktok. Also, the point she made about "trendy narcissism" is very true. I went through a "self-love" phase where I put how I felt, what I wanted, and what I thought were my needs over those of everyone else and I became hard to live with as my relationships either stagnated or disintegrated. Selfishness and hedonism eventually lead to the opposite of what we are trying to accomplish. If our ancestors had acted selfishly, we'd still be in the Dark Ages.