Delta Force Operator Recounts His First K!ll

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Пікірлер: 235

  • @ShawnRyanClips
    @ShawnRyanClips16 күн бұрын

    Thanks for watching everyone. You can watch the full episode with Tom Spooner here kzread.info/dash/bejne/gHWss6Vqfs6pqLg.htmlsi=-A1pf2rij3VTWNQR Additionally if you want to support the Shawn Ryan Show you can join the community. www.patreon.com/VigilanceElite

  • @140Characterz

    @140Characterz

    15 күн бұрын

    Definitely got a George Washington civil war look lol

  • @444Dragoncheese
    @444Dragoncheese15 күн бұрын

    This guy looks like a reincarnated civil war general

  • @joeylyons4549

    @joeylyons4549

    13 күн бұрын

    True

  • @KellyWatts1302

    @KellyWatts1302

    12 күн бұрын

    And he sounds like one too ❤❤❤

  • @Shitbro247

    @Shitbro247

    8 күн бұрын

    Holy fuck tru

  • @Bi-polarBear

    @Bi-polarBear

    8 күн бұрын

    We guess…😂

  • @truthseeker2222
    @truthseeker222216 күн бұрын

    Tom is incredibly self aware. A true sign of intelligence. Respect to this warrior.

  • @durrr123

    @durrr123

    14 күн бұрын

    really illuminates the levels of self-sacrifice

  • @kevinpheley
    @kevinpheley15 күн бұрын

    Him talking about going before god and being honest was one of the most gangster statements I’ve ever heard

  • @Tblanktim-mu1bh
    @Tblanktim-mu1bh16 күн бұрын

    The statement of being comfortable in war may be difficult to comprehend, but eminently understandable. Whatever training, discipline, or education one might have, that is the area of comfort because you have been prepared to undertake it. Knowing you are capable, instills confidence. No matter the task. I get it and agree with it.

  • @JDayMain

    @JDayMain

    16 күн бұрын

    It's not necessarily due to training or education in warfare, some people are just born for it really. I kinda get it cause I've always felt this sense of calm when getting behind a gun, it's kinda weird

  • @GhostManOnSixtieth

    @GhostManOnSixtieth

    16 күн бұрын

    I think the book Tribe by Sebastian Junger really outlines this well.

  • @apollow_g1025

    @apollow_g1025

    16 күн бұрын

    You don’t have to worry about money, women, traffic, shopping, maintaining a household… being deployed in many ways, is simple.

  • @robruth7376

    @robruth7376

    16 күн бұрын

    When you're in that state of mind and your training becomes instinctual allowing you to process and your reactions are quicker, fluid, and not slowed or wasted based solely on fear.

  • @NoName-ru5xd

    @NoName-ru5xd

    16 күн бұрын

    The only place in the world/life that you know for an ABSOLUTE fact that you have people that you can rely on.

  • @xnavyro
    @xnavyro16 күн бұрын

    My son who went to Afghanistan said that he never felt remorse for killing the enemy cause they’d do the same, kill him. What, however, did affect him was seeing the innocents killed due to collateral damage or killed by the enemy itself. He came back & had real difficulty accepting this to the point we had to get him help due to his nightmares. After the VA kicked in, he finally made peace with what he’d seen, & is now a 1st Sargent in the National Guard. That’s why I say, I’m my hero’s Dad”, cause he made the sacrifice for our family, our country & himself & his family. God bless you 1st Sargent, both your Grandfathers are looking down at you with smiles on their faces & pride in their hearts.

  • @mikehunt4797

    @mikehunt4797

    15 күн бұрын

    Tell him that not us. Lol

  • @Joe-hz1nw

    @Joe-hz1nw

    15 күн бұрын

    @@mikehunt4797silly comment. A father should be able to be proud of his son and boast about him to a degree, particularly in the correct, relevant arena which a comment on this video would be. His comment might motivate other vets to get help at the VA because unlike what we always hear, here is a success story. It also paints a picture of the suffering vets go through. I’ve heard his sentiment about innocents before from other vets as well, so it’s good it’s being shared so other vets see that their feelings on the matter aren’t uncommon.

  • @lm-usmc

    @lm-usmc

    14 күн бұрын

    @@Joe-hz1nw I don't believe he had ill intent in his comment. He simply said go tell your son exactly what you just typed in the comment. I'm glad he shared it with us, but he needs to tell his son how proud he is of him. SF!

  • @anamegoeshere

    @anamegoeshere

    13 күн бұрын

    kinda like those "innocent deaths" from drone strikes, that we still use too this day

  • @m4a1_delta66

    @m4a1_delta66

    13 күн бұрын

    @@anamegoesherewhen they have 20 Deltas and 20 Devgru guys a bunch of SARCS and TACPs posted up and the higher ups decide to just strike it with a expensive missle and not really caring for colleteral at all , it's an afterthought like oh ok big deal , while the delta and devgru guys have a explicit strategy to minimize casualities or take none , civilians and the ones that are on the payroll but are forced because of finaincal issues and get killed for providing for there family , I'm sure the tier 1s are pissed that they couldn't change the outcome with less bloodshed to inncocent civilians

  • @Fran-ct4kb
    @Fran-ct4kb14 күн бұрын

    The delta people seem to be some of the most humble and humane

  • @doglegjake6788
    @doglegjake678815 күн бұрын

    Rumor has it that dude has a grizzly bear rug in his living room but the problem is ,, it's not dead it's just afraid to move

  • @user-ui6us3sy8l

    @user-ui6us3sy8l

    14 күн бұрын

    Naw you mistaken him with Chuck Norris 🤣

  • @odasmith1215

    @odasmith1215

    14 күн бұрын

    ​@@user-ui6us3sy8lChuck Norris looks under his bed at night to make sure Tom Spooner isnt under there

  • @mavrikmavrik3032
    @mavrikmavrik303216 күн бұрын

    His first shoot and he’s thinking not just about the bad guys and what they are doing but also considering his ROE and what’s going on with his squad mates. His brain is multitasking and splitting its focus all the while handing the whole situation like a pro. That is what intense training and preparedness does for you.

  • @Fmdragon47
    @Fmdragon4716 күн бұрын

    This testimony is very true. Getting desensitized to killing a human being does take a toll on our souls

  • @PixxelBros

    @PixxelBros

    16 күн бұрын

    a person with a soul doesnt get desensitized to it. Thats coping with the atrocities your country asked of you.

  • @elkabz8174

    @elkabz8174

    13 күн бұрын

    ​​@@PixxelBros Amen! Not many really understand the gravity and ACTUAL meaning of when you take oath and say: "....So help me God" (Cause your gonna damn well need it) *consequences*

  • @DrJoonPark

    @DrJoonPark

    7 күн бұрын

    It does, especially for those of us never in the military

  • @saltylatte5991
    @saltylatte599116 күн бұрын

    Wow... This man is an amazing person. His rational is extremely compelling. Thank You for your service!

  • @chrisnewby5713
    @chrisnewby571315 күн бұрын

    6:35 oh my god. He said what I have felt for a decade but could never express. He just nailed it for me, thank you sir

  • @Connerclan1187
    @Connerclan118712 күн бұрын

    This one was deep and our veteran community needed to hear this. Thank you for this.

  • @Detail8585
    @Detail858515 күн бұрын

    Top notch interview. Very well spoken and articulate with what he was trying to convey. Thank you for your service.

  • @tuckerallen3621
    @tuckerallen362116 күн бұрын

    This has brought such a meaningful perspective of war. Thanks

  • @maytronix7201
    @maytronix720116 күн бұрын

    This is amazing. Honest talk... thanks fellas

  • @_chakan_
    @_chakan_16 күн бұрын

    Shawn, thank you on a million different levels sir. I, along with many others I’m sure, truly appreciate your personal honesty and openness when it comes to your own experiences, as well as the guests you choose to have on. Much respect to you and thank you for sharing so much 🙏🏻

  • @robsummerhayes123
    @robsummerhayes12315 күн бұрын

    What a terrific segment, very emotional and full of respect. Thank you, the trauma all soldiers endure, thank you for protecting us.

  • @YahbiiCot
    @YahbiiCot16 күн бұрын

    Tom's view of taking someone's life is such an interesting perspective compared to past guests of the show.

  • @66justariot
    @66justariot16 күн бұрын

    Love the show Shawn thank you.

  • @BadBlue32
    @BadBlue3213 күн бұрын

    Damn, that was REAL AF! Love this interview. So deep into the mind we are taken in this interview. Amazing stuff.

  • @tylerbrown8386
    @tylerbrown838614 күн бұрын

    Man, this was so deep! I can totally understand what he's saying and I've never been in the military... But he is speaking truth! God bless you sir!

  • @DragonNectar
    @DragonNectar16 күн бұрын

    Tom Spooner has that look where he could have been a soldier in any time period. He could have been a knight sitting on a horse and his face would just fit in. Jocko not so much, lol.

  • @privateProtection

    @privateProtection

    16 күн бұрын

    Jocko is the 🐴

  • @DragonNectar

    @DragonNectar

    16 күн бұрын

    @@privateProtection 🤣

  • @paulmeek7964
    @paulmeek796415 күн бұрын

    Tom is one of the silent but violent club. Other guys roll in bragging and drinking they got 4 this month and I ask Tom and with a soft voice and smile I got 32. Now let’s go to work men.

  • @motordawg8376
    @motordawg837615 күн бұрын

    Great interview…just outstanding.

  • @zachthegunguy
    @zachthegunguy9 күн бұрын

    Tom love you brother !!! Thank you 🙏 my mindset is just like yours…Warriors always…..Always a warrior

  • @Buddydegroot
    @Buddydegroot13 күн бұрын

    Thanks for including name and episode number. Good addition

  • @Evvs1_
    @Evvs1_16 күн бұрын

    They lit them up in a matter of seconds.. didn’t even know what hit them lol

  • @shepardman993
    @shepardman99315 күн бұрын

    I totally agree and feel the same soo much in my career God Bless 🙏

  • @Nam-id7kj
    @Nam-id7kj13 күн бұрын

    Respect to Tom! As a combat, Vietnam Vet 67 & 68, Tom's interview was difficult in some ways to watch. Much of what he states, my brothers & I discussed when back in the world. It's always there & each man deals with war in their own way. During the interview, I remember faces, hearing choppers, preparing for the next op, listening to the Doors in Basecamp, gunfights & many other conditions. Some of my brother's sons were/are SFO. Wish we had Tom's equipment. Starlight weighed a ton. Great interview Shawn. Again, salute Tom.

  • @Act-lu8oq
    @Act-lu8oq12 күн бұрын

    Great honest discussion

  • @SnickC13
    @SnickC1316 күн бұрын

    When Tim said, "Nothing." I felt that.

  • @hk45c62

    @hk45c62

    16 күн бұрын

    Tim didn't say anything, Tom did.

  • @uuuultra

    @uuuultra

    16 күн бұрын

    i didn't. i felt nothing 🤣

  • @nightfury6836
    @nightfury683613 күн бұрын

    Heavy stuff. This channel is brilliant.

  • @pivit7816
    @pivit78169 күн бұрын

    Im 29 years old and everything this man said has absolutely made 100% sense. What a wise and well spoken individual.

  • @BosleyBeats
    @BosleyBeats15 күн бұрын

    Whoa that testimony of not showing up to god with some weak ass shit and hiding behind passages is wild. This guy is the real deal holy shit.

  • @xTJx93
    @xTJx9311 күн бұрын

    Shawn, please do Jamie Caldwell. Former Unit guy, I bet he’s got load of stories. We need to hear the Italian job story!

  • @BryanWiedeman
    @BryanWiedeman16 күн бұрын

    Cheers Tom..One of the best to fight in A SQD

  • @Schamoo
    @Schamoo15 күн бұрын

    Great interview . The “callus” on the heart for me is explained by the question you asked first. You asked first kill, not 5th or 10th. For some reason we are most intrigued by the first time

  • @thomujin
    @thomujin15 күн бұрын

    Glad I get to hear more of Spooner, BCM introduced him to me.

  • @Mullet.Shampoo
    @Mullet.Shampoo15 күн бұрын

    Real shit man. For lack of a better term this is among the best "real" talk I've heard (close second to DJ Shipley)

  • @Tuffsqaudztv
    @Tuffsqaudztv3 күн бұрын

    I got my kill on 😂😂😂😂 the way he said it 😂

  • @user-bf1me5pz6x
    @user-bf1me5pz6x16 күн бұрын

    The good Lord makes some of us warriors. I'd can 100% relate to feeling comfortable in a fight.

  • @codyhess5713
    @codyhess571313 күн бұрын

    I think he was trying to say he began to lose his sympathy and empathy. I actually took the opposite approach I would say my sympathy and empathy wasn't very good before. Now I look at life and people with a little more value because I realized how easy it can just be taken from you.

  • @jasoncoetzeeadadjjzjdatune9617
    @jasoncoetzeeadadjjzjdatune961715 күн бұрын

    Super clear, pure professional, not at al, nahh I don't believe you.

  • @nicholaspalmer2086
    @nicholaspalmer208616 күн бұрын

    Shawn, I'm not sure if you have covered it but would like to hear your own story! Thanks

  • @1treyton1
    @1treyton116 күн бұрын

    I would love to hear you speak with Kevin Owens!

  • @INFANTRY1981
    @INFANTRY198116 күн бұрын

    Perfect description of the enemy - "sociopath."

  • @jamesnorth7318

    @jamesnorth7318

    15 күн бұрын

    He said 'another sociopath' with a smirk. So he knows there both similar people who he shooting.

  • @BastAmiesNash

    @BastAmiesNash

    14 күн бұрын

    He said “Not like oh my god yay, I’m not a sociopath”

  • @justinsirois2955
    @justinsirois295516 күн бұрын

    Thanks shawn for the 6pm start time, with my new job it works out perfect

  • @ShawnRyanClips

    @ShawnRyanClips

    16 күн бұрын

    You’re welcome!!

  • @uuuultra

    @uuuultra

    16 күн бұрын

    how is your new job going?

  • @justinsirois2955

    @justinsirois2955

    16 күн бұрын

    @@uuuultra actually really great thank you! Been a chef most of my adult life but needed a change, now I'm working outside and loving it! Maine is the way life should be!

  • @Threaldaveoss
    @Threaldaveoss8 күн бұрын

    Going to Jesus and saying "Yeah I did that, it needed to be done." Man thats cold..

  • @JuanLedezma-mk9vo
    @JuanLedezma-mk9voСағат бұрын

    It's a fearful thing to think people are going to die with the delusion thinking they're going to die and wake up in Heaven. But they never picked up the book and searched it to see whether or not their lives really measure up. The soul is the last thing on people's minds nowadays.

  • @steveo286skj
    @steveo286skj16 күн бұрын

    Thank you for your sacrifice sir😢

  • @user-hu6or6kb1m
    @user-hu6or6kb1m16 күн бұрын

    "It turns"

  • @upperroomtoo
    @upperroomtoo15 күн бұрын

    Tom nails something I was sharing with some church members who returned from GWOT. We are not created to kill each other and the ptsd is simply your soul trying to process either something you have done, done to you, or seen done that violated your created purpose.

  • @Richhunghimself
    @Richhunghimself16 күн бұрын

    Years ago in an interview, he mentioned the 'humaness factor'. Found it interesting. What he was actually trying to say was alot of the Iraqis he killed were people that just could'nt stand the precense of foreign forces on their lands, as would any country especially the way the war was conducted. He feels the guilt and pain of having downed men who were not enemies of America or her people. Following the war from the day it began to the day it ended, I remember two particular moments in time that would change the course of that brutal war: Abu Ghraib and the scenes next day of furious Iraqis watching released images of the scandal on news channels and the slinging of two dead Iraqis on the front of a U.S humvee, then driving into a town to set an example to the insurgency. Both videos were available at the time. The next day, there were over a 100 attacks on the coalition all across Iraq. This was just before AQI really got heavy, '04 end, beginning '05. The rest is history.

  • @cundan0484
    @cundan04848 күн бұрын

    if i understood correctly its something different than guilt

  • @jordanvangundy975
    @jordanvangundy97516 күн бұрын

    Those are some HANDS

  • @CBeSee
    @CBeSee16 күн бұрын

    Keep Coming Back Tom!!!!!

  • @jaredragan1128
    @jaredragan112811 күн бұрын

    Matt and billies warrior brother. Praise God. Thank you.

  • @donlum9128
    @donlum912815 күн бұрын

    God bless our Soldiers!

  • @johnconover52
    @johnconover5216 күн бұрын

    Not sure humanity has a place when dealing with the inhumane?

  • @JohnRidersoldoutforjesus
    @JohnRidersoldoutforjesus15 күн бұрын

    You will not need to tell God anything. Think about it. If he is God, then he is all-knowing. And He will show you your life.

  • @lil6ixx870
    @lil6ixx87016 күн бұрын

    Real.

  • @tbamp09
    @tbamp0916 күн бұрын

    Shawn, you should check out some of the Irish Army Ranger Wing vets, you might find them interesting

  • @oisin5593

    @oisin5593

    14 күн бұрын

    I'd love to hear him interview Kevin Owens, he was an Irish ranger and an American green beret, probably the only person to ever do both. Finding a guy who was just a full career Irish ranger to talk would be hard, they play the cards very tight to the vest, definitely top class, they're our countries equivalent of Delta force or SAS. I'm joining the Irish army soon (all going well) so maybe I'll be one eventually 😂 but the odds are slim it is extremely hard

  • @tbamp09

    @tbamp09

    13 күн бұрын

    @@oisin5593 bro same

  • @tbamp09

    @tbamp09

    13 күн бұрын

    What unit u hoping to go to

  • @larrybarnett5799
    @larrybarnett579916 күн бұрын

    me too

  • @iansmith9554
    @iansmith955416 күн бұрын

    That said, I could not serve in the current US military. We have frequently lost our way since Bosnia.

  • @diggeler

    @diggeler

    15 күн бұрын

    They’re probably ok without you

  • @snowking1996
    @snowking199614 күн бұрын

    If you guys are interested in exploring more the intersection between a warfighter's faith and his actions, you should sit down with Fr. Matt Foley, priest of the archdiocese of Chicago. Besides having his own interesting life story, he served as a chaplain on several deployments, if I remember correctly he even worked with SF a bit.

  • @lylebaierlein419
    @lylebaierlein41915 күн бұрын

    What he was trying to say, I think, was that finally all of the hard work, blood, sweat, and tears amounted to something....it wasn't all for nothing

  • @dustin6342
    @dustin634212 күн бұрын

    The scary thing is this will be the thought process when the govt is told to take up arms against the citizens.

  • @Epictroll48
    @Epictroll4814 күн бұрын

    I like how he was honest about people cherry picking scripture to justify their actions.

  • @MetHerInBaghdad
    @MetHerInBaghdad16 күн бұрын

    This guy not only gets it, he is it!

  • @HungryHippo702
    @HungryHippo70215 күн бұрын

    Tom is one BAD ASS! 👊

  • @joke4301
    @joke430115 күн бұрын

    Lost is a understatement mate

  • @MoparcrazyExotic
    @MoparcrazyExotic16 күн бұрын

    Badass CAG operator legendary.

  • @lm-usmc
    @lm-usmc14 күн бұрын

    Be wary of the quiet guy.....This should be one hell of a podcast.

  • @lonerangersheriff
    @lonerangersheriff15 күн бұрын

    My humanity goes away-it’s getting easy to …

  • @asamcdaniel5167
    @asamcdaniel516714 күн бұрын

    Im super black and white. I try not to be. But i am. And when I need to not think and act, thats about only time i make the right choice. Never been in any real combat. I imagine its the after. The thinking. God bless this man. I worked for a conglomerate, of a farm. These are calves mind you. Not people. And originally i thought all the killing I did. Was to..end suffering. And it probably was. But at some point, I think i was just going through the motions. Eventually I was sitting down with them. Telling them how it was gonna be. Trying to help them. Getting into the 700's it became a task. And one man can only do so much i think. Or maybe not. animals aren't people. These things are not comparable. This dude is the man. thank you for your service.

  • @michaelcarr2619
    @michaelcarr261916 күн бұрын

    I think he means he became desensitized with taking life. We are thankful for men like you sir! Somebody has to do it when evil exists and you answered the call! Isaiah said to God…here I am, Send me! And you sir…went for us. Thank you!

  • @FreeParkingSearch
    @FreeParkingSearch12 күн бұрын

    I love this damn channel

  • @jamesmcdow945
    @jamesmcdow94516 күн бұрын

    There was a D boy close to my family. That's all I can say. He doesn't say anything. I'm actually amazed they talk to interview hosts or anyone for that matter. Their files are all Redacted. God love them for what they do. What needs to be done. Love to listen. Thank you all for your service. Never Forget.

  • @justinobrien1097

    @justinobrien1097

    15 күн бұрын

    😅 that's all you can say

  • @theunraveler
    @theunraveler14 күн бұрын

    “A King may move a man, a father may claim a son, but remember that even when those who move you be Kings, or men of power, your soul is in your keeping alone. When you stand before God, you cannot say, "But I was told by others to do thus." Or that, "Virtue was not convenient at the time." This will not suffice. Remember that.” - King Baldwin

  • @tadymason
    @tadymason14 күн бұрын

    As always, the content we need to hear especially is young men

  • @wipperwill6
    @wipperwill612 күн бұрын

    Versus good seals

  • @justinbrown2894
    @justinbrown28948 күн бұрын

    This guy interviewed me before I became a navy seal...I related to him in some way, idk

  • @joetowsey2898
    @joetowsey289816 күн бұрын

    R. E. S. P. E. C. T..

  • @user-en7wl7nt8y
    @user-en7wl7nt8y16 күн бұрын

    Was this during the GWOT?

  • @uuuultra

    @uuuultra

    16 күн бұрын

    game of thrones?

  • @user-en7wl7nt8y

    @user-en7wl7nt8y

    16 күн бұрын

    @@uuuultra global war on terror

  • @MrPolicekarim

    @MrPolicekarim

    16 күн бұрын

    @@uuuultra LMFAO!

  • @borobinson7005
    @borobinson700515 күн бұрын

    What is TBI??

  • @springfield03sniper

    @springfield03sniper

    15 күн бұрын

    Traumatic brain injury

  • @chrisrobbins9058
    @chrisrobbins905810 күн бұрын

    James Yeager would of been a good guest to have on

  • @Micheal-Knight-
    @Micheal-Knight-16 күн бұрын

    I wonder if the dead can hear this?

  • @theericexperience3.025
    @theericexperience3.02514 күн бұрын

    True warrior 7:23

  • @MrBillkaz
    @MrBillkaz15 күн бұрын

    Delta warriors are such bad A almost mythical warriors

  • @Scott_Buchanan
    @Scott_Buchanan13 күн бұрын

    I hope Tom sees this. Don’t worry about not going to heaven, we come to this world to learn, teach and experience life. I believe that even the “bad guys” go to the afterlife, this is all a learning experience. Everyone should listen to people talk about near death experiences, it’s very interesting

  • @aj-tp2yh
    @aj-tp2yh16 күн бұрын

    ARNF Peace

  • @PrismaticCS
    @PrismaticCS13 күн бұрын

    KZread censoring for the lose.

  • @duncanidaho5834
    @duncanidaho583416 күн бұрын

    Put your guest's name in the title, description, or first pinned comment please.

  • @ChessmenTrip

    @ChessmenTrip

    16 күн бұрын

    Bottom.

  • @arighteousname5882

    @arighteousname5882

    16 күн бұрын

    It's literally the water mark on the bottom right of the screen genius 😂

  • @duncanidaho5834

    @duncanidaho5834

    16 күн бұрын

    @@arighteousname5882 lol

  • @jerryogstad
    @jerryogstad16 күн бұрын

    WOW this good Yes there is aJESUS

  • @strangleholdoutdoors
    @strangleholdoutdoors16 күн бұрын

    Someone should interview Shawn

  • @bags4930

    @bags4930

    15 күн бұрын

    He has been on others podcasts etc; Just research and look for them.

  • @strangleholdoutdoors

    @strangleholdoutdoors

    15 күн бұрын

    @@bags4930 I think it would be cool to get interviewed on his own show.

  • @odasmith1215

    @odasmith1215

    14 күн бұрын

    Lol Jordan Peterson kinda did on Shawns own podcast lol

  • @yoffe4543
    @yoffe454310 күн бұрын

    I feel like your asking the wrong question. A much better question to ask him is what it felt to see the lifeless body of someone he killed. Or to see innocent people maybe a woman or a child dead how it effected him in that way.

  • @wipperwill6
    @wipperwill612 күн бұрын

    Versus you it seems Shawn who seems like a Real seal. I have never murdered anyone nor I have disre murder someone

  • @richardtaylor6341
    @richardtaylor634116 күн бұрын

    Desensitized The word is Desensitized

  • @jolookstothestars6358
    @jolookstothestars635816 күн бұрын

    I totally understand without having experienced what you have. It reminds me of the story in the Bible when David couldn't go into God's temple because he had seen too much blood. It had changed David.