The childhood trauma becomes life long when you have to live with the same characters for the rest of your life

@mariancounsellor

8 ай бұрын

I think it depends on how you navigate it. You can’t erase past trauma but you can choose how much contact you have with certain individuals or whether you remove them from your life. You can also access counselling to try to work through the trauma at your own pace.

@philrussell5258

7 ай бұрын

Yes, there is also the unwarranted but real guilt and fear of trying to navigate away from those characters

@zoekralj8523

6 ай бұрын

Yes, and now I do with my parents, that divorced after that and left me alone, not even talking about the losses and how I feel, we feel. Now I had to return from abroad lands where I found peace away from here just bcz my mother got very sick, and I can just say BRAVO for the very right thing you said, that HELPED ME THE MOST

@TinaLouise73

5 ай бұрын

The trigger types as I colliquilly like to call em!

@umwha

5 ай бұрын

Yeah it’s true. Being molested, for instance, is one thing. But now imagine your mother loves that person who molested you and you have to see them all every Christmas , and hear about their birthdays , and receive their cards. Retraumatising is an annual and ritual experience . It’s not just ‘childhood’ trauma it dosent end

The key is to ALLOW it. Allow the feeling to express in a safe environment. I used to scream out loud in my car. After about 5 years , that anger passed and I dont need to do that anymore.

@mariancounsellor

3 ай бұрын

You’re so right. Screaming on top a hill, in a car, in a forest, in an isolated location is something I suggest to my clients. Anger is an emotion that needs to be released because if suppressed, it usually comes out in other ways - projection onto others, tension in the body, self-hate, unhealthy habits, destruction of property etc.

@KatarinaS.

3 ай бұрын

I used to scream into my pillow for years. I haven't done it lately and almost forgot about it til I read your post. It helped a little.

@Kamaya-gn8pf

2 ай бұрын

Goals 😢

@angelicacroitoru4946

Ай бұрын

I am affraid, for me anger is somehow relates with severe dissociation, I feel that if I scream I loose myself like it use to happend in my childhood when under trauma.

@tizzlekizzle

Ай бұрын

@@angelicacroitoru4946 I know what you mean. Allow the feeling of being afraid and allow the anger in baby steps. The way out of it is through it. You can take small steps of allowing. Avoiding it just keeps it stored.

I'm 58, my Dad was an abuser. He's just died, he called and called for me to be with him when he died. He never said sorry. Never. I'm so angry.

@mariancounsellor

Жыл бұрын

So sorry to hear that. It must be difficult because you may feel that you didn’t get closure and never will now. It’s understandable that you would feel angry but also anger is going to hurt you in the long run. You might want to consider writing a letter to your late father with all of your thoughts and then ripping it up or burning it. I’ve used this method myself after a relationship breakup and it gave me closure ( I kept the letter for about a week and then felt ready to let it all go). Take care of yourself

@dolphinliam888

Жыл бұрын

@@mariancounsellor thank you. I'll try that!

@Asparagoose073

Жыл бұрын

I'm 25 and I can understand what you're going through to an extent. My dad denies ever abusing me and that denial, and no apology, no remorse, makes me not want to visit him anymore. I was raised to always be on good terms with someone because you never know what might happen. However, my dad happens to be the exception. He's so toxic I have no means in trying to mend the relationship. I already tried on my part and all it did was damage me more mentally. Hoping that if I start speaking to someone this year about everything I've been through, maybe I can get through it and not continue to explode like some ticking time bomb

@child_of_God316

7 ай бұрын

Sometimes people don't use words because they feel so guilty and angry with themselves! Him wanting to be with you was probably the closest he could come to an apology! When someone has passed away it's very unhealthy to keep being angry with them! I hope you are in a better place about it now. God bless you

@foxgun100

4 ай бұрын

I understand. My Dad was just broken. His dad alcoholic. Folks divorced. My Dad served WW2 in jungles of Phillipines. His brother died serving in Europe. Dad alcoholic. My childhood was shit. 71 yrs. old now. 20 yes of Alanon and therapy. I'm much better. It gets better. But we have to work on it. Prayers for you.

This was me. I blew up my life and lost my job after exploding at a client. I was a ball of rage. A consuming anger. Thankfully, I am much better now. But i did crash land in a phenomenal manner. A year after my mental breakdown, I took a very large dose of psychedelic mushrooms. It was a game changer for me. I recommend it to everyone.

@mariancounsellor

7 ай бұрын

Wow, it sounds like you really went through a tough time but glad you’re in a better place now.

@philip230884

7 ай бұрын

​@mariancounsellor he was a fun guy to be around trust me....

@kathycater1976

3 ай бұрын

I feel the same with you did. I am so grateful now. Wow what a mind blow❤

I have internalized rage towards my mom whom I still live with. I’ve tried talking with her about past wounds and pains but, she always deflects and tells me I can’t blame her for all of my problems. Which I always say, I’m not doing. This is barely the tip of the iceberg of our relationship, and it truly angers me. There is healthy anger to feel, but anger runs deep if i let it. It’s hard still living with her and the pain of yesterdays, especially when she minimizes and invalidates my truth. But, It is what it is, when having an emotionally immature detached parent.

@mariancounsellor

11 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing your story. That must be really difficult especially as you live with your mom. It’s good that you’ve accepted the reality of the situation even though it hurts. Your mom may change over time and decide to hear what you have to say and how you are feeling, but if not, don’t let it impact or influence who you are and how you behave 💕

@enessajoy763

10 ай бұрын

@@mariancounsellor thank you 🙏🏾 🤍

@EvgeniiaDolinenko

9 ай бұрын

I understand you so much. 😢

@angelagriffiths8032

8 ай бұрын

Leave immediately and find someone who can help you talk and rage it out.

@gaywizard2000

7 ай бұрын

I have a similar mom, she's 88 now and I want to stop talking to her again. We were estranged for 30 years until my dad died, now I'm left with her!

That trauma can destroy you. I lost my best friend, and others because of it. I just try to stay away from people. I don't make friends anymore either. Just subscribed.

@mariancounsellor

5 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and for subscribing. Yes, trauma can be very overwhelming but people can also heal from the trauma that they’ve suffered in their lives. I hope that you eventually get to a place in your life where you feel that you can trust some people in life because as humans, one of the main things we desire is to belong and to connect with others. Have a good evening

@dp.6868

5 ай бұрын

@@mariancounsellor thank you very much.

@rachelbailey-no2pp

3 ай бұрын

​@@mariancounsellorDoes childhood trauma cause Borderline personality Disorder to develop?

@patluvsrocky7249

3 ай бұрын

Same 😢

@elijahhanby

3 ай бұрын

@@rachelbailey-no2ppyes it does

A few years ago we visited with my friend a Science Centre. At the door was a camera and a monitor equipped with emotions recognition system. Every time I passed there with my natural face (I didn't feel angry or anything), there was a big sign: ANGER. Only recently I recognised that the program was correct. I'm constantly clenching my teeth, my jaw muscles are tense, and a minor thing can trigger me into rage. And it's been like this for decades.

@mariancounsellor

Жыл бұрын

Thanks for sharing this. Yes, sometimes, we can be experiencing sadness, anger, depression, stress and other emotions without being fully aware of it. Maybe you could consider speaking to a therapist to uncover the root of the anger?

@TinaLouise73

5 ай бұрын

Omg same! 😐 xx

@anaconda470

5 ай бұрын

@@mariancounsellor I met multiple therapists during last 20 years. The only one, who was able to reach the bottom of me was a Jungian psychoanalyst. Unfortunately I have a blockade regarding the feeling of anger. I'm facing a wall every time I try to approach it. I think it comes from a very early childhood.

@Amy.

5 ай бұрын

@@anaconda470 Your pain can be overcome. I, and others in a support group I’m in, have been facing and bit by bit overcoming trauma from toddlerhood. Look at your triggers and that can help you identify what you endured. There is HOPE.

@anaconda470

5 ай бұрын

@@Amy. Thank you. I've been participating in group work for several months. It was the psychodynamic approach. It did change certain things but the core issues were not touched. I have an extreme resistance.

Finding a competent therapist is extremely challenging! I have been through many and they can do and have done so much harm and only enforce the issues at hand and create more.

@mariancounsellor

7 ай бұрын

I completely agree with you that it’s not easy to find a good therapist. There is no perfect way to select one but I suppose you could have an initial conversation before deciding on the therapist. It is challenging to have to keep changing therapists and repeating your story.

@zumaone3692

7 ай бұрын

The main problem is everything starts out well and then they let their personal issues get in the way thereby doing harm to me even becoming abusive. They like so many lack self-awareness so when something is brought to their attention they, due to their pride, get offended and take it out on the client.@@mariancounsellor

@BryanSalyersXD

3 ай бұрын

I had about 5 therapists before I found one that helped. One told me that I didn't need therapy. One got visibly angry at me when I told him about mistakes I'd made, even seemed to mock me in a way. One never spoke to me and thought it was helpful to only listen, it wasn't. One helped me a lot but I had to move so I couldn't go anymore. My therapist now helps me cope with and navigate my negative emotions. It took months, but I can finally feel that progress is being made, and I feel better. Don't give up on healing from what happened to you. I advise you to love yourself more than that.

@tizzlekizzle

3 ай бұрын

Definitely. They are often more flawed then their clients. It's like going to a barber and seeing that their hair is totally messed up.

My mother was an abuser and she encouraged the rest of the family to abuse me for being handicapped. I have so much depression, anxiety, and rage nowadays because of what they did. But finding a competent therapist is extremely difficult. I've never found a therapist that understood my situation, and the final one I saw turned out to be a narcissist and she caused even more harm to me with her abuse. So now I'm afraid to look for another. I'm just trying to find ways to heal myself.

@mariancounsellor

6 ай бұрын

So sorry to hear about how badly you were treated and you didn’t deserve that. I understand how hard it can be to find a therapist that you can trust and feel safe enough to share your story with but don’t give up trying. I hope you find healing and know that you are not the negative things your family told you that you were.

@PraveenSriram

6 ай бұрын

I’m so sorry to hear that

I've been working with a guy who's constantly projecting his anger at others but mostly me. It's upsetting because he's incredibly knowledgeable about the job but he's got a major anger issue. I've had to put boundaries up and can't work with him anymore. On the plus side it has made me acknowledge my own suppressed anger and has helped me on my healing journey.

@mariancounsellor

4 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing your story. There are so many people walking around with suppressed anger and it can feel really hard to manage the emotion in an appropriate way. That’s why many people end up projecting anger towards others or they use unhealthy ways to try to get rid of it, like taking drugs or hitting a wall. Yes, sometimes through being around others, we learn about ourselves.

You described EXACTLY what I've been living with since all my life. A ton of childhood abuse and to top it all off, I go to combat as an infantryman in the Iraq War. I prefer to be alone because I don't want my stuff to spill onto others. I'm in therapy, but I'm misunderstood because my therapist thinks I'm flirting with them when all I'm doing is spilling my guts. Maybe I don't know how to be a good client. But, I'm safe and want to live, just ranting a bit.

@mariancounsellor

Жыл бұрын

Sorry to hear what you’re going through. It’s a shame that your therapist isn’t able to provide a safe space for you but you could consider finding another therapist as it seems like you you have some things to work through. There’s no such phenomenon as a good or bad client, there’s just two humans in a room building a therapeutic, trusting relationship. I hope that you’re able to find some peace.

@John.Smith007

Жыл бұрын

@@robert.9028 Blue Chord Brotherhood.

@RR-kz4hq

10 ай бұрын

Sounds like you need a new therapist

@rondasmith4037

7 ай бұрын

Counselors and Therapist do one on one sessions and don't have a witness in the room like a Medical Dr. would during an appointment. They have to always feel guarded because of that. Please remember some of their patients may be sex addicts!! They also have to be careful because it's easy for a patient to accuse them of sexual misconduct ect..... I would therefore encourage you to not make them uncomfortable with what you say during your secession so that you can benefit from them. I realize some people like to joke to break the ice for themselves and others; However, we don't want to joke in a way that it could be misinterpreted!! I hope this help you understand things from their side as well!! Keep going to your secession or consider a therapist of the same sex as you are.

@John.Smith007

7 ай бұрын

@rondasmith4037 I don't set out to make anyone uncomfortable during my counseling sessions. I also don't talk about sex related questions or issues because I don't want to make the session uncomfortable for either of us. I've had both male and female therspists and all but one have been top-notch professionals and have helped guide me through my issues. The one that thought I was flirting with her ended up being a freshly minted social worker, so I get her misreading of the situation.

Amazing explanation on how it’s caused, I never so clearly understood what a “trigger” really is.

@mariancounsellor

Жыл бұрын

Thank you. Appreciate your comments 👍🏽

Wow like last comment I'm also 58. Your message is so beautiful. Thank you. This stuff doesn't go away on its own.

@mariancounsellor

7 ай бұрын

Yes, it definitely doesn’t go away by itself but acknowledging that there’s an issue and then deciding what you want to do about it are the initial steps to changing so. Thanks for watching and commenting

Being called a liar, when I stood trial and told the truth about my brothers abuser while constantly being told by guardian who wasn't there I lied the doctors the scars the surgery my brothers inability to use the bathroom properly was evidence, my eyes were evidence. My voice should have been thier truth and yet they took my brothers abuser....hurts

@mariancounsellor

Жыл бұрын

Oh that sounds like you’ve been through a terrible time. It’s understandable that you would feel hurt and angry after that. I hope that you can access some therapy to explore what you’ve been through 💕

Getting therapy for it is easier said than done

@mariancounsellor

Ай бұрын

Nothing important is ever easy but I think if the cost of living with something that impacts on your life immensely is bigger than the fear or the cost of getting therapy, that’s the decision to consider.

I've lost many jobs in my life because of this. It was only in my mid fifties did I find a safe way to release it. I go out into the woods, or inside the car, or garage, and let the volcano blow! I get it OUT!!! I yell until I'm tired, cuss, punch a bag, etc. Just to get it OUT!!! With the release, I'm in control again. After a few weeks, it happens less and less. It's been about five years, and now it only happens a couple times a year. That's better than five times a week!!!! Even now, when it comes, I don't hold it in. I go somewhere alone, and express it; just to get it OUT!!! Sometimes I would just stand in the house, turn up the radio, and scream until I was exhausted! It helps me more than any "calming exercise" ever did!!!

@mariancounsellor

6 күн бұрын

Thank you for sharing your story and I agree with you that releasing anger through punching a cushion, a punch bag, screaming, are all valid and legit approaches because it’s about releasing pent up rage so that it doesn’t come out inappropriately through hitting others, damaging objects, hurting yourself. Going to the top of a hill or mountain and screaming is also somewhere that you can feel free to do that. Hopefully, the more you do it, the less you will feel like you need to. I wish you the very best!

@user-pb2vo4pt3t

6 күн бұрын

@@mariancounsellor Thanks for your good wishes. Yes, getting it out is what matters most. I've done the very things you mentioned too! To the point I'm physically exhausted afterwards. But I always feel better afterwards. Years of having to hold it in as a child and young adult took a toll on my health. These days, I don't try to hold it in. I just keep it in check until I can get somewhere to release it. I never wanted to hurt others, nor myself! That's the hardest part! I've done pretty good, other than a few broken lamps and other inanimate objects; when throwing a cushion across the room went awry.🤭 Oops! I share because I hope it helps others get control of their rage. Not to hold it in! (That's not healthy!) But to get it out safely! Truly, I hope this helps others who suffered as I did. They need to know they aren't alone! And they aren't the problem! Don't "cage the rage" (🤦🙄 that doesn't work! It's a bad cliche!) Express it in a safe, private place. Get it OUT! Thanks for making this video to help others!

Ive sat with my anger long enough to realize that it's built up pain from childhood! But just because i have alot of anger and rage doesn't make me a dangerous person whom will hurt myself or anyone else & that's why people second guess getting help (the fear of being wrongly judged)

@mariancounsellor

5 ай бұрын

I don’t think that people assume that someone with anger is dangerous. Everyone gets angry but it’s how that anger is expressed. Unresolved anger or misdirected anger can lead to behaviour that hurts the person and others. It is, however, always a choice for the individual whether they want to seek professional help or not.

Go to the coast when the waves are pounding the rock and the shore, and shout and scream your head off. Boy does it feel good!

@mariancounsellor

17 күн бұрын

Sounds like a great plan to release stress, tension and anger! 👍🏽

For me it’s more mental abuse. All these years of anxiety guilt shaming and making me feel like I’m the problem has giving me ptsd and I have outburst’s when they try to provoke me

@mariancounsellor

5 ай бұрын

So it might be worth considering how you can limit your time with certain people who you feel provoked by, as well as coming up with a plan to respond in a different way no matter what they say or do. We can’t change what people do and how they behave but we can change our responses to them and to the situation.

As someone who is going into the counseling field and being helped by other this video I felt is super helpful on my journey of healing and self care from my own trauma, so that way I can more effectively help others. Thank you for making it!

@mariancounsellor

7 ай бұрын

You’re welcome. I’m glad that you found it helpful and I wish you all the best on your counselling journey 💕

Even if you could grt back at a person who hurt you , --- forgiveness is the road goal to work with a therapist with.

@Morgan313

3 ай бұрын

Forgiveness is not a goal. It is a gift. True gifts are not demanded; they are given freely.

@fernandosamf1185

3 ай бұрын

@@Morgan313 One can work at being forgiveness , every goal can be worked toward until it hapoens . Thst is what i meant to say . Please forgive my cloudiness

So me! I am a survivor of childhood trauma, and I've held that anger in for too long. I've lashed out at friends, and now, I'm in therapy, working on myself. I am a work in progress.

@mariancounsellor

22 күн бұрын

So glad to hear that you’re in therapy and working through your past trauma. It really is common for individuals to suppress their emotions or protect themselves by blocking out painful experiences. This can come out as anger or rage because that emotion is easier to display than sadness, tears, shame etc. I wish you the very best 💕

I’ve developed serious anger issues and suicidal ideation in the last year or so. Always felt depressive, tearful and anxious until things finally ended with my girl back in July; now all that suppressed trauma has turned into rage and anger. I was abused and neglected by my parents for around 8 years in childhood and had also witnessed a lot of domestic violence, feel like now it’s finally caught up to me and has changed me into someone unrecognisable.

@mariancounsellor

5 ай бұрын

Sorry to hear about everything that you have been through. Have you considered getting some professional help to work through some things or even an assessment through your GP? It must feel quite emotionally exhausting at times to be carrying so much stuff around in your mind. It’s understandable that so many negative, significant events would definitely change a person but there’s always hope for the future.

Thank you I suffered terrible things as a child and you described me perfectly.

@mariancounsellor

3 ай бұрын

Oh sorry to hear that. There are so many people walking around with wounds from childhood. I hope that you heal one day

How is snapping at people internalized anger? I've been through lots of childhood trauma and I don't snap at people I have a history of people-pleasing and taking the anger out on myself through self-harm. I haven't self-harmed in a few years, but that internalized anger is still there beneath the surface all the time.

@mariancounsellor

Жыл бұрын

thanks for sharing your thoughts. Snapping at people can be internalised anger because if someone doesn’t deal with what’s causing their irritation, frustration, stress or anger it comes out in that way. Not everyone’s experience or situation is going to be the same. As you’ve stated examples of how you use coping mechanisms but for others, they might experience things in a different way. It can often be buried or it can sometimes come out.

Thank you for excellent commentary and on point.

@mariancounsellor

8 ай бұрын

You’re welcome and thank you for your feedback, appreciate it 💕

Thanks, I needed this right now ❤

@mariancounsellor

Жыл бұрын

You’re welcome. Glad you found it of benefit to you.

Thank you so much, I have a huge trauma from childhood my two sisters died months a part ....and am trying to deal with it and d' rage. Thanks, you really helped, understanding is what makes all good, I need ppl who see that in me, I wake up and go to sleep with that thought every night and morning

@mariancounsellor

6 ай бұрын

So sorry to hear what you have gone through. Glad that you got a lot from the video. I hope that you heal through the rage and come out the other side in a more positive way. All the best to you

@zoekralj8523

6 ай бұрын

Thank you so much again, I am doing better, because yes I did changed the country and went to sea and far away from all that reminded me of that :. now I am back again and a bit sad, but it's been so long don't know, plus I am helping my sick mama.

I’m glad I saw your video at the right moment and time. Without getting into too much of my story I was seriously bullied and ostracized as a child although this isn’t the case now at age 40 but I lash out at others like I did today and I regret my actions. Fortunately I didn’t face legal consequences for my behavior or lose my driving privileges.

@mariancounsellor

6 ай бұрын

Sorry to hear your story. This is exactly the reason I made this video because after 22 years working as a Social Worker and working as a counsellor, there are so many people unable to move forward in their adult lives due to childhood trauma. I hope you consider working through things in therapy if you feel that it would help you. You can’t go back to the past and do things over but you can move forward in a positive way whilst trying to heal.

@PraveenSriram

6 ай бұрын

@@mariancounsellor thank you so much for taking the time to reply and respond and again I apologize for my behavior today which I don’t believe is necessary to state here but I will definitely discuss in detail with my personal counselor. Thanks 🙏 again.

This is excellent and makes a lot of sense. Thank you.

@mariancounsellor

3 ай бұрын

Thank you. Glad you found it helpful

@kimberknutson831

3 ай бұрын

@@mariancounsellor : )

Thank you for explaining this. I was wondering.

@mariancounsellor

7 күн бұрын

You’re welcome 😊

ThankYou, so much, for your help with this clip...

@mariancounsellor

Ай бұрын

You’re welcome

I finally found my answer! So glad for this vudeo.🙏

@mariancounsellor

4 ай бұрын

You’re welcome. I’m glad that you found it helpful

❤ Thanks for making this video.❤

@mariancounsellor

3 ай бұрын

You’re welcome and thank you for watching and commenting 💕

Thanks for sharing 🙏🏿🙏🏿

@mariancounsellor

6 ай бұрын

You’re welcome

love you super helpful!

@mariancounsellor

4 ай бұрын

Thank you, appreciate your support 💕

Well done, but childhood abandonment also causes self-blame/self-loathing, along with the classic "traumas".

@mariancounsellor

3 ай бұрын

I agree with you. It definitely can create those feelings in some individuals because they feel that they are the reason for the abandonment. I may make a video on abandonment issues at some point.

@StressRUs

3 ай бұрын

@@mariancounsellor Sorry, my dear counsellor, but you don't understand the basics of abandonment. The abandoned child ALWAYS automatically blames him or herself, as Mother Nature has hard wired us to endure almost anything as a child, in order to at least have the protection and care of the much larger, stronger, and more powerful adult. This is fundamental to our survival and is primordial.

In my fifties and I joke that I’m a walking masked bundle of internal suppressed rage. There was a time when it wasn’t well suppressed and I married a man with anger issues and had to become the calm nice parent. My anger issues that are inside my head though…. I just can’t do anything about the situations that make me want to scream, so I shut down instead. Great video.

@mariancounsellor

5 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing your story so openly. There are a lot of people walking around with suppressed emotions. Have you considered speaking to a therapist so that you can try to work through things and possibly come up with some solutions? Just take things one day at a time and find out as much information as you can regarding the emotion of anger. Hopefully, it will help you to understand the emotion and put an action plan in place to improve things slowly. I wish you the best and glad that you found the video helpful 💕

Thank you.

@mariancounsellor

6 ай бұрын

You’re very welcome

Great video.

@mariancounsellor

8 ай бұрын

Thank you. Appreciate your feedback

Others: You can't be drunk, you've only had x drinks, you can't be full you haven't even had dessert, you can't be tired, you haven't done anything, that can't hurt, it's only a small wound, you can't still be doing that, it only takes me 20 minutes, etc, etc, etc. Me: I guess I suck then? Also me: I can't possibly be affected by childhood trauma as the general consensus seems to be that all my shortcomings are simply down to me not trying hard enough. Anyroad, it's all my fault. Me now: There's no way I haven't been badly affected by childhood trauma.

@mariancounsellor

5 ай бұрын

I hear you. Other people’s perspectives on us are not usually the reality. We know ourselves more than others think they know us. This can lead to feeling misunderstood, frustrated, and undervalued. Whatever someone has been through, it doesn’t have to define you or destroy you. Some people believe that you are powerful enough to overcome anything if you create a certain type of mindset. However, it definitely isn’t easy to be completely free of negative emotions such as rage.Thanks for sharing your thoughts 💕

@briobarb8525

3 ай бұрын

OMG...you obviously have met and know my self-righteous sister who obviously believes she sees and knows all about you...and you know NOTHING about yourself! Talk about both frustrating and tiresome.

I'm in this exact position right now! When I was a little boy I don't remember how old cause my brain protected me at the time my best friend Virginia's dad had to move her out of state cause he to get a job out of state and the anger is gone is gone though now that I've been finally ready to talk about it and back in the 90s when I was young me and Virginia spent nearly every day together and we even spent the night together at each other's house nearly every day and her dad felt terrible about about doing what he did but he had no choice and for over 20 years it was too hard to even talk about it but recently I was finally ready to talk about what had happened and now I'm feeling a lot better! Before I was ready to talk about it I would get mad easily and explode a lot! I always knew it was linked to what happened what had happened with Virginia and I when I was little but I wasn't ready to talk about it yet but when I did the anger went away and now I'm finally able to to start healing from the trauma!

@mariancounsellor

5 ай бұрын

Oh I’m sorry that you went through that but I am glad that you felt ready to talk about it and that it has led to the anger and rage disappearing. I wish you the best.

@mikeholmes7758

5 ай бұрын

Thanks and I am too! I even had night terrors before I was ready to talk about but as soon as I did those went away and now I can sleep peacefully without running around screaming in the middle of the night!@@mariancounsellor

Thank you 🙏

@mariancounsellor

8 ай бұрын

You’re welcome

Thank you ❤

@mariancounsellor

4 ай бұрын

You’re welcome 💕

How can i help my partner who suffers from childhood trauma it affects him so much at times and i have witnessed it eat him away bit by bit and we cant afford therapy at the moment

@mariancounsellor

3 ай бұрын

I would try to encourage him to access long-term therapy to work through the trauma. I don’t think it’s something that can be avoided if someone really needs to get to a point where they can process things and try to move forward. You could access free therapy through your GP who would refer you, or see if there are some charity organisations or therapists who provide reduced fees. You can just be there for him as his partner but you’re not a professional so some of the approaches and interventions a therapist would use work best. There is also a book called ’Rescuing the Inner Child’ by Penny Parks which might help.

i hate my mom for bringing me into poverty my while my cousins had decent lives and screwed me over financially in my late teens im 45 now and still angry and its ruined me

@mariancounsellor

2 ай бұрын

Sorry to hear about your story. It’s definitely hard to release the anger but it ends up hurting you more than anyone else. All the best to you.

Yes And now I'm trying to change 50 +years of BEHAVIOR.. my girlfriend of 2 years has had to unravel my life, and helped me REALIZE that my experience growing up. My girlfriend said that I'm manic depressive. Some days I'm ok and other day's I'm angry . And my girlfriend says I'm gaslighting her. I know I SUPPRESSED TRAUMA.

@mariancounsellor

Ай бұрын

It can be so difficult to change how we operate after 50 years but the fact that you’ve identified the root causes is a good start. Consider speaking to a therapist and also, it’s good that your girlfriend feels confident enough to tell you what she thinks. It’s not easy to work through past trauma but it’s worth it.

Thank you

@mariancounsellor

7 ай бұрын

You’re welcome

The only way that i know is to go to the gym. But it does not work 100%.

@mariancounsellor

4 ай бұрын

At least you have one strategy so continue to do that and maybe consider journaling, therapy, or other ways to release anger and rage. You could even walk up a mountain and just shout or scream to release anger

im young with wrechred anger issues due to my horrid family. i dispise them and they took everything I loved. and also due to the fact imextreamly homesick for 7 years (and counting) with a country what isn't even my motherland, and I want to go back. I feel so trapped there's so much more, however im not going to disclose too much.

@mariancounsellor

3 ай бұрын

Sorry to hear how you are feeling. Sometimes family doesn’t always mean that you share a close bond but hopefully, you will find a way through so that your emotions don’t overwhelm you. Have you thought about speaking to a Counsellor, friend, or someone else so that you can release your emotions?

👏

Rage, Anger a want for revenge.

@mariancounsellor

4 ай бұрын

That’s one way to look at it. Does the rage hurt you or hurt the person who doesn’t feel your rage? Would revenge provide you with closure or satisfaction or leave you feeling disappointed?

Thanks

@mariancounsellor

7 ай бұрын

You’re welcome 👍🏽

@renealvarezyt

7 ай бұрын

@@mariancounsellor you really helped me to understand my issues and the root cause of my problem. Now I know and I can heal. 🙏

Although this is focused on childhood events, it can happen to adults, too. In this case you might be clear on why you're angry and accept it, but if the situation is still affecting you, how do you finally let that go? It's like being caught in an endless loop.

@mariancounsellor

3 ай бұрын

I agree that it can also apply to adults too. I would say that the focus would be on giving yourself enough reasons to let go off an emotion that isn’t serving you. I don’t believe that there is ever an endless loop. We can feel like we’re caught in cycles but once we understand why that’s happening, empower ourselves to make changes, and then practice consistent and different behaviours, it’s possible to let things go. Focusing on the present and valuing the changes over the stuckness also helps.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

❤

My mom has angry issues she gets angry very easily she screams a lot and sometimes even beats us. She really is not that bad she has also lot of good personality traits but honestly i am scared of her sometimes. She told me a lot of bad things like that i am hard to love or she constantly says stuff like why can't i be normal. I really don't know what to do. Well the worst thing is that i am very angry too. I really hate myself for getting angry so easily and well acting like my mother. I really don't want to be like her and i am so worried that i am a bad person. .

@mariancounsellor

4 ай бұрын

Have you thought about your options including maybe contacting Social Services depending on your age? Contacting a domestic abuse organisation or the police? Living somewhere else if that’s an option? It sounds like you’re in a dangerous and emotionally and physically abusive situation. Have you also considered therapy to work through your own anger issues?

❤🙁

I don't deal with it 😜 I let it out ⚡ unfortunately this means violently attacking someone with brutal force...no it's not ideal and yes it has led me to being sent to prison 6 times for violence...nope I think your way is better 👌

@mariancounsellor

Ай бұрын

At least you’re being honest about your situation. Pent up rage can definitely lead to violence either towards people or damaging things but it still doesn’t resolve the feelings underneath. So maybe it’s worth trying a different approach and seeing if that works? You’ve got nothing to lose. Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts 👍🏽

Is this the same as infantile rage?

@mariancounsellor

10 ай бұрын

I’ve never heard of the term infantile rage before so I don’t know.

@steveengland8240

10 ай бұрын

@@mariancounsellor There’s not much information about it in general, apart from dissertation papers and cases. Also known as pre verbal trauma.

@Eric-tj3tg

6 ай бұрын

​@@steveengland8240Having been "exposed to" or, more accurately experienced pre-verbal rage, I understand it to be from a time generally before explicit memories form. Implicit memories are experienced as sensations in the body, or emotions, which are felt, yet have no images or thoughts associated with them. Often, the sensations are intense. Body-based modalities like: Bioenergetic, Sensorimotor or Somatic Experiencing deal with these internalized states.

Isn’t depression a symptom of internalised anger?

@mariancounsellor

3 ай бұрын

Not sure about that. I’m not a medical professional but depression can be a symptom of many things but if someone is internalising their anger or rage, it could possibly lead them to feeling depressed as well as other negative emotions.

I feel intense rage when I feel something is not fair, my rage is not normal at all. maybe it's because I was molested when I was a child.

@mariancounsellor

5 ай бұрын

Sorry that someone subjected you to that. Adults who prey on children are the worst. Have you considered therapy? I can imagine it could feel exhausting to be living life full of rage, especially when it’s out of control. I wish you the best and thank you for sharing your very personal story.

Does that mean none of my present day anger responses are legitimate?

@mariancounsellor

3 ай бұрын

No, not at all. Everyone gets angry. Anger and rage are two different emotions. This video is about rage that has been suppressed from the past and then appears because it has not been dealt with. We’re not robots so of course we get angry sometimes. Only you can decide whether your responses are appropriate. However, if multiple people are concerned about your anger, there could be something in that.

Most therapists don't understand cptsd

@mariancounsellor

14 сағат бұрын

I don’t know if you can use the words ‘most therapists’ unless you’ve carried out official research and have evidence to support that. Therapists have training in different areas and are ultimately not going to know everything about everything. However, we work with the specialisms we understand and we provide information and knowledge based on experience and understanding.

A lot 0:02 of transference is legitimate. Too much of the attitude in this video revictimizes the victim.

@mariancounsellor

2 ай бұрын

You’re entitled to your opinion. I don’t agree with that at all but we all see things differently. Not sure why as a counsellor of 14 years, I’d make a video that revictimises a victim in any way. It’s not something that’s in my personal nature or professional experience to ever do. Also, transference is displacement of feelings or emotions onto a person who is unrelated to the original event, experience or person. Therefore, it means that it doesn’t belong there and the individual doesn’t get the opportunity to work through the actual issue or event.

I think Caleb Hammers entire community is toxic and abusive. Caleb just posts thumbnails to mock and degrade his guests. He screams and yells at them like a manchild, knows he has vulernable mentally ill guests, and continues to abuse them and make them worse, as well as fostering a community to come attack them and crap all over them. It has RL consequences. Its harmful, he needs to stop

@mariancounsellor

Ай бұрын

I don’t know who Caleb Hammer is.

@somethingshiny343

Ай бұрын

@@mariancounsellor He is on youtube and has a show and abuses vulnerable people and encourages others to harass them and worsen their mental illness. If he doesnt stop...im afraid hes gonna abuse the wrong person and people are gonna get hurt.

@somethingshiny343

Ай бұрын

@@mariancounsellor hes a youtuber that emotionally abuses his mentally ill guests, uses thumbnails to mock and humiliate them, screams at them the entire effort and uses his comment section to sick his vile community into hurting the person further . Can you please talk to him and explain the damage he is causing to vulnerable people? He especially seems to get the most hateful towards mentally ill or people of color. Its disgusting and promotes hate

@somethingshiny343

Ай бұрын

@@mariancounsellor Obviously youre not a professional and you dont care about Caleb Hammer hurting mentally ill people and minorities. So therefore you're evil, only care about viewers and money. Inaction is evil. Go ahead share the platform with a predtor whatever

👍🏾👍🏾🫱🏾‍🫲🏼very true

Thank you.

@mariancounsellor

Жыл бұрын

You’re welcome.

Great video.

@mariancounsellor

3 ай бұрын

Thank you 🙏🏾