Dealing With Dark Times | Jordan Peterson | 12 Rules for Life | Best Life Advice
"There's a big gap between tragedy and hell."
You can pre-order Dr. Peterson's latest book "Beyond Order: 12 More Rules For Life" here: amzn.to/3nVw7jD
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➤➤Speaker:
Jordan Peterson
/ jordanpetersonvideos
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➤➤Video Sources:
"12 Rules for Life: London: How To Academy" by Jordan Peterson
• 12 Rules for Life: Lon...
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Powerful Life Advice | Powerful Wisdom | Best Life Advice
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➤➤Transcript (Partial):
Final rule. It’s called “Pet a cat when you encounter one on the street.” And it's-it's a very-it's the most personal chapter in the book. It's a lot about my daughter. And my daughter was very ill when she was-well, when she was a kid, but particularly when she was a teenager she had a very terrible time of it. She had juvenile rheumatoid arthritis and when she was between the ages of 14 and 16 it first destroyed her hip which had to be replaced and then it destroyed the ankle on her other leg which had to be replaced and she walked around for two years on broken legs and she was taking massive doses of opiates and could hardly stay awake and, like-and she had this advanced autoimmune disease which produced all sorts of other symptoms that were just as bad as the joint degeneration but which are harder to describe. And so it's just bloody brutal. You know, and as a test of your faith, there's almost nothing that's more direct than a serious illness inflicted upon an innocent child. Right? And so, the chapter’s a meditation on that and also on-well, what to do in a situation like that because everyone is going to have a situation like that in some sense, you know, because you'll be faced with illness in the people that you love and in crisis. And so, it's a practical guide to coping with those sorts of things. Like in one of the things you do when you're overwhelmed by crisis is you shorten your time frame. You know, it’s like, you can't think about next month. Maybe you can't even bloody well think about next week or maybe not even tomorrow, you know, because now is just so overwhelming that that's all there is. It’s like, and that's what you do. You cut your time frame back until you can cope with it. And if it's not the next week that you see how to get through then it's the next day and if it's not the next day then it's the next hour and if it's not the next hour then it's the next minute. And you know, people are very, very, very, very tough. And it turns out that if you face things that you can put up with a lot more than you think you can put up with and you can do it without becoming corrupted. And she did recover quite-quite fully. And much as a consequence of her own machinations because she figured out what was wrong with her and then took the necessary steps to fix it, which is nothing short of a bloody miracle, as far as I'm concerned. Anyways, part of the cat bit is-I actually started by talking about our dog who actually died about a year ago but he’s still alive in the book. You know, I let people know ‘cause dog lovers love dogs and if you love cats then they think you don't like dogs, and then they, you know, they don't like you. So I also point out at the beginning of the chapter that, you know, if you want to pet a dog on the street, that's okay too. So you don’t have to get up in arms about it. But-but the idea is that, you know, you have to be alert when you're suffering. You have to be alert to the beauty in life, the unexpected beauty in life and that’s kind of what I was trying to get across with the idea of the cat. And there’s this cat that lives across the street from us called Ginger, and Ginger’s a Siamese cat, and cats really aren't domesticated eh, technically speaking, they’re still wild animals...
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Пікірлер: 274
All sunshine and no rain makes a desert
@saffronskies333
3 жыл бұрын
This is beautiful. I love it when I read a phrase that moves me deeply...as this did. Thank you for this.
@r.h.8537
3 жыл бұрын
This analogy will stick with me, thank you
@CommanderTavos99
3 жыл бұрын
I didnt expect this, but its something that will stick with me. Thank u for that analogy
@Andrew-xr1pc
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you!
@claudiachurch4285
3 жыл бұрын
how horrible to lose a child, but you will see him again in a better place, may God bless and comfort you
God, this lecture spoke to me and my broken heart. My son died in my hands at the hospital back in 2015. Everything Dr. Peterson states in this video is so true.
@oli5420
3 жыл бұрын
the fact that you are still here is a reminder to all of us that we are stronger than we belive. im so deeply sorry no parrent should have to live through that and all kids deserve to live a full life.
@restartnaija8087
3 жыл бұрын
I'm so sorry for your loss and also motivated by your courage to speak and see it from the side of faith. God bless you immensely
@theeconomicrevolutionist
3 жыл бұрын
@@restartnaija8087 Thank you. Your sincere words are very encouraging to me. Dr. Peterson's lectures, life and books have been a God-send to me. Everyday, when I wake up I give God my day, albeit, sometimes very difficult and I thank God for Dr. Peterson as his materials have helped me turn my "miserable" life around certainly to be more tolerable through the tragedy and hopefully someday (as a goal of mine) to lighten up this world and help remove the darkness or at least not add to it. Thank you again.
@theeconomicrevolutionist
3 жыл бұрын
@@oli5420 Thank you for your sincere response. You give us encouraging words and a good reminder to us all. I am facing and dealing with all my dragons via help from Dr. Peterson's lectures, books and videos now rather than creating more misery around me. Thank you, Dr. Peterson for helping me find the tools to turn my sinking ship. I am floating again, seeing more light than darkness, taking time and moving upward and onward through the fog. Again, thank you for your sincere response. That helps.
@RoboBreaker
3 жыл бұрын
I'm sorry that you lost your son.
In a world full of lies. The truth is so refreshing.
I am, invariably, impressed with Jordan Peterson's emotional honesty. He holds no façade when discussing feelings and openly expresses them without any hesitation. This is one of the most appealing aspects of his character.
@lesleyelalami2562
3 жыл бұрын
Very rare commodity in a public figure. Very commendable, he's amazingly emotionally mature and one of the strongest characters I've ever come across. What a gift to the world he is.
His voice at the end... it made me cry.
@damoerae
3 жыл бұрын
Me too 😢
@Io-Io-Io
3 жыл бұрын
i knew there would be reactions like that and went straight looking for 'em :) found em in a matter of seconds :)
@Io-Io-Io
3 жыл бұрын
he is emotionally unstable and it's refreshing to see someone so successful not hiding it..
I am watching this on the night of the day we buried my stepdad of 40+ years. I am feeling grateful that our family did NOT do anything to make matters worse at the end. I'm also grateful because, over the course of stepdad's long illness, when it became clear to us (each at his or her own pace) that it was likely that he wouldn't survive, I remembered Dr. Peterson encouraging me to strive to "be the most reliable person at [my] father's funeral." And I held onto these words; thought about them every day. I think I pulled it off today. And it wasn't easy because, for some mysterious reason, like Dr. Peterson, I get severely choked up at the drop of a hat. Thank you, Dr. Peterson.
@chris432t6
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you. I feel the same.🌝
He sounds like he’s breaking down which in itself is “bloody awful”. We need JP to recover. ❤️
@jeffreyoneill6439
3 жыл бұрын
He is breaking down. But with pain and love. It is good to hear him so emotional. He is healing.
@claudiachurch4285
3 жыл бұрын
@@jeffreyoneill6439 no hes not he is making vast sums of money how about some sympathy for his poor wife any sympathy for her
If we never had dark times, there would be no good times. The dark times make us notice and enjoy the good times, something that may not happen otherwise. It builds us up. Love the lessons from this man.
@pp-1954
3 жыл бұрын
I can live without dark times
@claudiachurch4285
3 жыл бұрын
its true dark times are necessary , but its who we hurt or fail that we should be held accountable for
@tygerlillee
3 жыл бұрын
I don’t believe in memes.
Who could dislike this? 10 people who don't clean their room 😉
@fredericojunior3155
3 жыл бұрын
Alexey Рilyugin 🤣🤣😂😂😂
@junior.von.claire
3 жыл бұрын
LOL you’re gonna be alright
It’s powerful message since Jordan has been going through some serious health concerns. 👍🏻
@michiganabigail
3 жыл бұрын
It’s a powerful message because we’re all going through some terrible amount of suffering.
@claudiachurch4285
3 жыл бұрын
Yes addiction pure and simple , no one can be a good example if you are a liar his tears are for himself , like most addicts
@lethargic_cow
3 жыл бұрын
@@claudiachurch4285 what are you talking about?!
@tastytiletactician271
3 жыл бұрын
@@lethargic_cow jordon Peterson was addicted to mental health meds
@michiganabigail
3 жыл бұрын
@@tastytiletactician271 yeah, but he recognized it and he’s doing the work to straighten himself out. I don’t fault anyone for trying to improve. Also, I think this was recorded before he went through that.
He saved my life, literally.
@pranavsharma7361
3 жыл бұрын
mine too
@aboundinggrace7029
3 жыл бұрын
Jesus Loves you, don't give up. He makes all things new, talk to Him. "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life" John 3:16
@justtam321
3 жыл бұрын
I think he has saved many lives. Mine included. I hope he knows.
@Y0uGuysAreTh3RealHer0es
2 жыл бұрын
He saved many lives, mine included. A father figure for a fatherless world.
Through all the pain, suffering and loss there will always be the hope that you can be the person that can bare it. Have faith in your ability to change. Good luck.
Hearing him struggle is painful to listen to. What a champion he is
i love that man
@allisnotwhatitseems.
3 жыл бұрын
Me too. Never felt like this before about another man whom I'm not related to
@pranavsharma7361
3 жыл бұрын
yeahhhhhhh
@Io-Io-Io
3 жыл бұрын
2001
Unfortunately dark times are a part of life. What really counts is your response to it and the meaning behind how you react
@CATDHD
3 жыл бұрын
Well said
A hero for our times.
"A big gap between tragedy and Hell". I needed to hear that. Going through a divorce from my husband of 24 years...a narcissist sociopath. I love him.... he's admitted he's incapable of loving anyone or anything... unless that's another lie....
@missjamie4243
3 жыл бұрын
I’ve been there and done that although we were only married for a couple of years. My narcissist sociopath ex WAS and IS incapable of truly loving someone... even our daughter (he left me for someone else when I was 8.5 months pregnant with her). He is only capable of pretending to ”love” when it suits him. I’m sorry you are dealing with this and hope the mental abuse wasn’t anything like I went through. Keep your chin up, dear. Brighter days are ahead💕
@dabesdrboy
3 жыл бұрын
I just got done with a 13 year relationship where we were both so toxic for each other because we had so many internal issues that we both are thankfully working on today seperately, we have a daughter together and throughout all that chaos and ups and downs we still have love for each other and we are both cheering each other on to better ourselves, idk if we will reconcile but honestly I got lucky in the sense that at least we are friends and are helping each other grow. Dr peterson's videos have really helped me throughout all of this and this man is truly an angel walking amongst us humans, he's really made me reflect alot in my life and we are all thankful to have him.
@dabesdrboy
3 жыл бұрын
Both of you ladies will recover and you will find true happiness, that I am certain of
@lesleyelalami2562
3 жыл бұрын
There's help, a listening ear and counsel on Quora.com. Healing blessings on your journey. x
Because we have nothing better to do we should make the world a better place. Thank you JP for doing just that.🌞
When our son died of suicide, all I could do all I could focus on was to keep breathing. I couldn't think about the next hour let alone a future without him. 11 years later it's still one day at a time. You learn to carry the sorrow with you but it's always there.
@gail2447
3 жыл бұрын
C MOBERG, So very sorry to read of your loss. It is a year since I lost my granddaughter to suicide and I can relate to what you have said. One breath at a time... I am proud of you, 11 years and you are still breathing. It takes courage to go on when you loose a loved one like this. I pray I too can find the strength which you have. 🙏
Move forward with every lesson...a king expanding your territory through every trial and challenge..opportunity awaits
There's plenty of people who have suffered more than me, but I've been asked more than once how I got through what I have and how I did it smiling and the answer is by doing this.
The reaction to such times is what is important. You can either use it as a learning experience or pity yourself
I've seen Petersen cry I've seen him angry, but he's the strongest person I've ever experienced. he is amazing.
I love Mr Peterson.
The most influential person in my life. He is the father figure we look up to for advice and guidance at any age.
Yep, it's about getting through hell. Everyone eventually has to go through it to a certain extent sometime.
I'm grateful to be viewing this video after my husband and life partner of 29 years passed away yesterday. Jordan Peterson presents important life lessons that can help us move forward.
I too love animals and enjoy just looking at them playing. They are pure and innocent creatures.
I have a genuine love and place in my heart for this man. He is genuine, honest, sincere, empathetic and passionate. He is a gem! I've never met him and most likely wont however I feel like I could trust him with my life. I have GAD and this guy explains things so perfectly for me. Love from UK ❤
@b0shea90
3 жыл бұрын
So beautifully said
So glad he's back and can help us through the dark times. I don't know anyone that the sun has shined really bright on in 2020. I'm glad you're back Jordan Peterson, and thank you for everything you've done and do
I’m balling right now. Been so lonely and hopeless and damn man this opened me up
Dr Peterson never fails to choke me up, but in a positive way.
In dealing with dark times, we must learn and bring awareness to the random, serendipitous rays of light in moments when it fortuitously appears.
Jordan Peterson's honest vulnerability is perhaps the most encouraging thing to find in humanity right now
Soulful truth imparted explicitly well. I love that his voice breaks with tears in his throat caused by sharing lessons from his own pain. I love that he draws universal meaning to supports what is the very best in a human being's response to crisis. I often disagree with him on matters of psych meds and on weight and beauty. But there is no doubt in my mind that this man's message is what was desperately needed at a time of societal moral decay. He is a godly man of genius and goodwill. What's not to love? And respect and admire? May God bless him.
What should be told more often today. As I told my own subscribers. The hard times can make you stronger but only if you allow yourself to absorb the lessons learned and the tenacity it took to get through them. Because if you don't, tough times can bury you as well. If you give up with every road block then it will become the pattern for your life. If you develop a fighting mentality however, no matter what, then not only will the tough times be less in duration but when the times aren't hard you will advance even more so. The problem is we live in a generation of coddle now. We are telling them tough times should fall on society to get you through. And that will set someone up for an unfulfilled life. But if you keep your sword razor sharp, you will find that you will be prepared to use it quickly and won't even have to draw it nearly as much. Hope this helps someone out there---Charles
Jordan Peterson is an absolute gem.
i need to clean my room and so much more...
As dark as these past 4 years have been, the world has discovered Jordan Peterson. My discovery of him makes it bearable.
Can't like this speech enough. Amazing man
Amazing words, incredible inspiration, in the dark there always shines hope.
Dr Jordan Peterson, I appreciate you more than i know how to express, especially in the way you are teaching me. I love you for your courage and love for me an unlearned child now adult who was born in great abuse to a family that didn’t know how to love. The fact that you put yourself out there to be vulnerable in our behalf so that we can learn from your hard work and dedication to learning how to live is truly a godsend to me. You are one of my greatest blessings i have searched my whole life to learn these tools you are teaching me. You literally are an answer to my prayers! May god bless you and your family! Thank you.
God bless JP!
I love you so much; thank you for sharing your words. 💖
Thank you for your wisdom and strength at a dark time for you and your family,that will help so many people.🙏
Heartfelt. Thanks JP.
I needed to hear this today. Thanks.
My soul is in pure reverence of such a light
This touches exactly where I am right now. I hope i can turn my absolute hell into mere tragedy.
I just love this man!
I commented on this a month ago Then the video disappeared along with my comment..? Anyway it was just a huge thank you to you WordToTheWise for introducing me to JP at the start of the yr!! I was going through a really bad time but then one of your videos came up on my recommended one night-once watching I never looked back. I have covered so much of Dr Peterson's content over the year! Stumbled upon your channel exactly when I needed it! Never stop producing these, they are wonderful!! Massively appreciate the work you put into these ♡ 😊
@WordToTheWise
3 жыл бұрын
Sorry Safi, had to modify the video but it's up for good now. Glad the videos have helped, thanks for watching!
Thank you.
It's true. Ive endured more suffering than I would've like (like most people). I learned that I'm tougher than i thought but it has also left me scarred.
If we didn't have dark times, we won't grow emotionally and offer empathy and comfort to those who are going through their own dark times.
I really needed this
This man is one of my heroes
❤️❤️❤️ thank you for sharing your wisdom!
Thank you Mr Peterson! Let God bless you and your Family ! HE loves you very much!
This man is a prophet and a huge blessing to me and millions of others. Thank you.
I’m going through a real tough time, unimaginable really, I need surgery as well as a host of other painful treatments if I’m gonna have any shot at getting my life back, my days are filled with pain, but this brought tears to my eyes, because it’s so true. God bless
Fantastic video thanks
God Bless him 🙏🤗💕
This is a perfect message for the world right now. We need this.
Wonderful, thank you.
What an amazing man.
Deeply wisdom🙇🏾♂️
Loved it ..
Jordan Peterson speaks so much sense.... I love what he has to say. 12 Rules for Life. See the Beauty in the small things. I can so relate to this. On finding something wrong with my tiny daughter - life was tough. I had to have gratitude for the things I could do & the things she could do. She is LOVE. Thats why I can so relate to Jordan too His daughter Mikayla is amazing! An amazing light while her dad was so sick
Amen to that !
Glad I got to know his work ( a little late) but grateful. Smart guy with great input - pre ordered the new book already. Bless u JP !!
Great talk!!
Thank you for your inspiration sir 🤠🙏🙏
Bless his heart, what a sweet man I really like him he is a very good teacher. I have to replay to try to comprehend some of it at times but I feel his information is very helpful.
So comforting. Life is not hell, just a tragedy
I have listened to his audio book a couple of times. I really do think, behind all his flaws and the fact he is so intellectual about it, he is more human than most people I have come to know. Putting together real life with the written and spoken word. It is genious and very much worth a read or listen.
Absolutely kills my heart when I hear his voice break.😭😭😭😭 Such an empath.
This made me tear up, earlier this year when the pandemic started I had a lot of other outside stuff going horribly wrong and I absolutely broke. I would ball up on the floor of my apartment and just cry for hours. I was horribly depressed and filled with so much anxiety that the thought of suicide was so appealing to me that it scared me more than anything. There were many days that I stopped myself from driving for fear I would allow myself to crash. Jordan Peterson talks about narrowing your time frame down and sometimes that’s all you could do. I remember narrowing my time frame down to my next breath because I was scared I wasn’t going to make it to the next breath. It’s easy to hear someone talk about it but it’s so unbearably painful for to be in that position. I learned that in situation like these a caring ear is worth it’s weight in gold.
@abhinarayan7751
3 жыл бұрын
I hope things get better for you man ,stay strong
@tpespos
3 жыл бұрын
@@abhinarayan7751 thanks man I appreciate it, things are definitely better but things are still tough.
@gregbradley7482
3 жыл бұрын
I hear you.
Will do!
Wow this is very helpful. Want to read this book.
JP is such a good man....
I hear determination in this statement.
🌹 Thank You
He is another level human
That was deep and meaningful.
5 min ago I had tears in my eyes because of the dark place I am in currently, after listening to this I have a smile on my face and got hope to get through it :)
Some people run away during crisis...these are the cowards that cant tow the line. Peterson was a strong parent. I dont agree w alot of his philosophies but i give him credit for his strength.
Absolutely amazing work. I don't even know how I found Jordan Peterson, perhaps it's not that simple. Well, when I think about it. And think as far back as I possibly can it will be at the time that I began searching for narcissistic behaviour and discovered an abundance in the hierarchy of video collection but one stood out far greater than any others for that matter. And before long one video led to other great videos and so on. . And now I've come to know a bit more than what I did before. The best thing I've learnt is deciding which monster I wish to confront. There is still more to learn and my bed room isn't as bad as what it used to be.
Good production.
Beautiful person. Beautiful messed. 🙏
If we didn't all attempt to make terrible things even worse than they are then maybe we can tolerate the terrible things that we have to put up with in order to exist.
I am now changing jobs and i am broke,but on my first salary i am buying this book. Mad respect for Jordan Peterson. Thank you,man!
dankie.
I respect this guy more than any movies star. I was a massive Shwarzenegger and Stallone fan but Peterson tops them all because it's his words that have counted the most and had the biggest influence.
I cannot say enough good things about this man every thing he says is for the good of others how anyone would try their damndest to find bad in him is beyond me he is my friend I have never met xxx
I love this man. We are lucky to have him around, aren't we?
@loganturner3895
3 жыл бұрын
Why do u think that?
@sonderman8079
3 жыл бұрын
@@loganturner3895 I just do. What do you think?
@loganturner3895
3 жыл бұрын
@@sonderman8079 Cool!
Their are no rules for how to suffer, only rules for how to survive the suffering...
Awwwww he got emotional towards the end. 😭
raising hand to share my energy ho needs it 🖐️
"The darkness always lies."
Jordan Peterson points to two elements of how to deal with adversity: First, adjust your time frame to something you can cope with - if not the week ahead, then the next day, or even the present day or hour. Then, second, look for and embrace any positive things in that time frame (in his example, pet a cat if that is something that gives you a sense of something positive). He mentions in passing but does not develop here, a third element of dealing with adversity (something he covers at some length in other parts of 12 Rules): Within that time frame, pick some small step you can take to make your situation just a little better in the next hour or day, and focus on doing that (he implies that his daughter did something like this to address her health problems). Then find some other small step, and so on. The point is that you shift your situation from passively horrible to a movement toward something better. These three elements reinforce each other and are in stark contrast to what is taught in universities these days, and what has started to be pervasive in institutions and society more broadly: The left-wing liberal approach is to find your victim group (gender, race, sexual preference, or whatever), and then complain about the suffering, present or historical, of that group and campaign for a revolution, so that when it comes, a better social system will bring you relief from your adversity. Peterson's more positive and practical approach is why left-wing thinkers hate him so much. Timothy Corwen (author, The Worth of a Person)