Dude, good speech. But years of abuse wears you down.

@mamuakalou4083

5 жыл бұрын

Silver Silver I'm with you on the same 🚣

@motivebeatz6815

5 жыл бұрын

I been pregnant and beat up, waited for a long time get into another relationship the either wants all my money that I don't have, they want to use you for housing if it's not that its sex if it's not that the man wants to meet your female friends to have sex with him, you can't look at nobody talk to nobody lool up look down nothing

@motivebeatz6815

5 жыл бұрын

The reason why I'm alive is because my children am I happy on earth no but I want my kids happy so when they around I smile for the but like now May 30, 2019 I'm sitting in this car that was sold to me and the car lot never did paper work so I'm sitting here crying I'm sad and I hate it all I ever wanted was to be loved or held

@motivebeatz6815

5 жыл бұрын

So I cry

@leoleo-tr7oj

5 жыл бұрын

This was great, I've been looking for "what can i do to get my husband back" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Ever heard of - Wansaac Ponuke Scheme - (search on google ) ? Ive heard some super things about it and my mate got amazing results with it.

My wife likes to think of herself as a strong woman. I see her as being incredibly critical of everyone and everything. It's very hard to perform my duties as a husband when I feel it will be never good enough. Forgiveness is always in my heart however the words spoken will never be forgotten.

@TheRealJohnHooper

6 жыл бұрын

If someone always clames doing better.. dont take their spot.. let her do it.. Just tell her.. oh you are just so much better in doing it, and walk away..

@sagemoon640

6 жыл бұрын

Mike Kean my husband is the same way

@martinesalomon5334

6 жыл бұрын

John Hooper: when I do that with my partner. He complains after that he is doing everything...... There is no winning here

@stephenanson8068

5 жыл бұрын

i feel the same

@remnant1018

4 жыл бұрын

Mike Kean, agreed.

Emotional abuse is something that people shouldnt have to "deal" with. :(

@devikamenon8605

4 жыл бұрын

It's truly making me depressed for the first time in my life. My husband is always complaining about almost everything on this planet. Also somehow everything is my fault. To top it there is no consistency in what he says and no accountability too. It's like me living with a ghost. Finding a way out now coz I can't hold anymore

@juliagoolia5604

4 жыл бұрын

@@devikamenon8605 just go! I waited too long... until he physically assaulted me. The last time he did i showed his family and they made him leave. We are trying to divrocd right now. He wont let me go but im standing up to him more than ever. It feels sooo good! Be more brave than me!! I STAYED FOR 13YRS. Im 35 and wish i wouldve left before i had a kid. But its sooooo much harder than what people think. And it gets harder and harder to leave when youve been together long. Do it gurl LEAVE!

@devikamenon8605

4 жыл бұрын

@@juliagoolia5604 you are right. I married at the age of 30. Never thought I would end up in this strange situation as can't blame teenage hormones as well. His parents been pushing for a kid. He gets violent and I can't seem to let go the verbal abuse I endure. His parents been telling me that as women we are supposed to be quiet and docile. I finally could ask him to leave the house after 3 years of mental torture. We somehow wait thinking things will change. They never change. Thanks for your strong words as it gave me strength too.

@juliagoolia5604

4 жыл бұрын

@@devikamenon8605 love that ! Bc im having a hard day. :( us victims need to speak out and stand in solidarity. We got this! We WILL get out. #fuckCovid-19 ruining my divorce living in hell.. gah

@devikamenon8605

4 жыл бұрын

@@juliagoolia5604 Covid looks to stay till end of May likely. Thanks again and may you be blessed. Stay safe.

The best way I have learnt to deal with a critical other half is to say this; "How blessed you are to be so perfect that you believe it is your responsibility to point out my flaws. I hope that your perfection brings you every happiness in your life."

@dawn1607

6 жыл бұрын

I wish that worked on mine! He will respond with "I'm not perfect BUT..." and he doesn't let up! No matter what I say. No matter what I do! UNTIL I blow up! Then he tells me "Its over. I'm not dealing with this you need help." There is no winning for me. :(

@coincidencetheorist3282

5 жыл бұрын

@@dawn1607 then let them go!!! Dont let the door hit you where the good Lord split you!! That could be the very best thing for you!

@thenonchalant172

5 жыл бұрын

Ugh passive aggressive

@julie53112

5 жыл бұрын

Marie-Michelle that’s good

@pm3850

5 жыл бұрын

bless them with your absence !

I gone out 3 times with a woman on a date. On the first date, I already notice she was a very critical woman, I thought it was cute at the beginning but at the same time I kept this flaws of hers behind my head. On the second and third date her critical criticism got worse, when I told her that she was too judgmental, she apologize nicely and said: "that's part of me." I really appreciate her apologize, but I ghosted her after the 3rde date, despite her calling me and texting me on numerous times. I can never be with a woman that nit-picking minor matters, even though I really liked her overall personality alot, I will still never alow this type of toxic individual into my life.

@CC-mr5xq

4 жыл бұрын

Thank god, congratulations for not ending up with one of these people. They make life a living hell.

@hibanour1987

4 жыл бұрын

Dont dont dont live with critical people u will hate ur life everything will be just black.. All what we need from a partner i peace not extra WAR

@michaelking4578

3 жыл бұрын

Trudat!

@myepicgarden1284

3 жыл бұрын

Dodged a bullet there man. Lucky

@medessentials6763

3 жыл бұрын

You should have told her directly instead of Ghosting her. That is more mature.

My partner was that critical and I left . However my step father laughs loudly when my very critical mother nit picks at him and it takes her power away . Laughter is a great tool.

My husband is so critical. He is not any fun to be around. Angry outbursts that are always my fault. He makes life miserable at times and boring the rest of the time.

@jaenaclairecabrera9718

6 жыл бұрын

susan529 my husband is the same. Im miserable

@samikshadubey9551

6 жыл бұрын

susan529 same here 😑

@drakedrones

6 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣🤣 yes...my life swings between “miserable” and “very miserable”

@keketennessee9116

6 жыл бұрын

susan529 my husband too. So boring and mean.

@charlessanders4586

5 жыл бұрын

susan529. My wife is like that. I have faults but she has talked down to me so much my self esteem is non existent. I am VERY considerate of her but not the other way around.

easier said than done, when your spouse hits you with criticism from the moment you see each other to the very hour you go to sleep. reaching a divorce is easier for most people than reaching a nirvana.

@victoriahunter-spiritualco1546

4 жыл бұрын

My spouse is critical in the first hour and it is usually the first thing he says. I have just started walking away. By the end of day, I get hit with several and even those coded to seem like they aren't. I just walk away now and just ignore him.

Should’ve never married in the first place. When people show you their true colors... LISTEN. Not for you to fix them.

@maranatha.media.c...

4 жыл бұрын

It's for God to fix the willing.

@L98fiero

4 жыл бұрын

@@maranatha.media.c... He's not keeping up

How Do you not lose your self with the everyday negativity

@codyrobbins2315

6 жыл бұрын

Taylor Luna you tell them to cheer the fuck up or get out

@NinaCruz21361

5 жыл бұрын

@@codyrobbins2315 That's great advice in fantasy land. Nothing is that easy.

@codyrobbins2315

5 жыл бұрын

Yeah in a day in age where it's more popular to be a victim to get attention than just being happy. I'd like to hope it'll change some day. Sure makes settling down pretty difficult anymore

@NinaCruz21361

5 жыл бұрын

@@codyrobbins2315 cheer the fuck up or get out. Jk.

@pervaizgani9712

4 жыл бұрын

TRUE

This is sooo helpful ! Criticism can feel so draining, but this helps me see it in a more lighthearted way.

Natural kindness is worth a lot in a partner and goes a long way to healing wounds of low self esteem.

Walk away...ignore... refocus... try to tell them, but remember you cannot change them.

A Critical Spirit is a Symptom of a Much bigger and deeper issue in the psyche of the person. It’s basis is in their beliefs and attitudes.

@treanthony9831

5 жыл бұрын

Not saying what you say is not true but when we make that statement it’s like making an excuse for the behavior. We all have deep issues mentally.

@mwngw

4 жыл бұрын

Right on. My wife is to hung on herself to wake up to this.

I'm currently that partner that is doing the abusing.. 😔 I come home and find myself examining things he's done to see if he's done a good job or has done it right. It hurts me to see that he tries so hard to earn my approval and affirmation. I'm seeking therapy now because I'm pretty sure my critical and controlling ways stem from the decades of abuse I witnessed in my parents marriage. I just hope I haven't broken my husband's spirit after these 7 years of marriage. He is naturally such a patient and loving guy but I see the anguish my behavior has caused and he seems tense and unhappy when I'm around. 😔

@dimarks444

4 ай бұрын

It’s really happy that you’re working on fixing it. My guy gets angry when I mention it. He insists that everyone else is very grateful for his advice and when they follow his suggestions, they’re very happy. (It’s very easy to say yes when they only see him occasionally and live on another continent. They always praise me for being patient. But it takes a toll on me.) He will definitely get his self esteem back and appreciate you so much for already acknowledging it and working it. Most refuse to change or even admit they are abusing their partner.

My mom to me: “You’ve gotten shorter.” And, “Here, I thought you’d like to have this photo of yourself. . . . when you were thin.”

Honestly, just leave. Don't bother trying to salvage the "relationship" -- when your so-called "partner" is habitually this disrespectful, ungrateful, contemptuous, and negative towards you, there's no relationship left to salvage. Leave now.

Any relationship advice is dependent entirely on the people involved being sane. Advice doesn't work on mentally ill or people with neurotic or psychological disorders.

@victoriahunter-spiritualco1546

4 жыл бұрын

RIGHT!

it must be so nice to know that everything you do is right and everyone else is wrong

This is honestly about the only good advice that I've found on this topic.. Everything else just makes it sound like you are responsible for making them happy... "Try doing the dishes for them and asking what else you can do to please them so they don't try to make you miserable and criticize everything you do", unreal 😅 For some of us, we've tried everything and there is literally no changing the pessimistic and critical person we are married to. That being said, this advice actually focuses on what YOU can do to keep YOUR head above water and not get wrapped up in their negativity. Love it! Thank you!

My partner is overly critical.. criticism at certain degrees can be healthy. However overly critical people to me often lack a sense of security.

A critical person is NOT approachable. Yes, do NOT react. Stay calm and keep trying to love them in ways they receive love as best you can. Rise above dear Sisters. Be a force of love & forgiveness no matter what.

Thank you so much for this video, so much you really helped me :( :)

This is so helpful , thank you🙏✨

Such great advice ! Thanks 🙏

great video lots of lessons in such a short clip.

The other morning he crossed the line. I was in a deep sleep and he started having a go at me and swearing at me. I put my finger in my ear and went back to sleep. Later I said to him, that if he's not happy about something we will leave discussing it till later in the day. I told him to stay away from me as he hurt me deeply. I said I will not tolerate your behaviour and I will leave you, once we've sold the house and I have my half. My first husband emotionally and mentally abused me. I am a strong person and will not put up with his behaviour. He can learn or face the consequences.

This is great!!

Thank you! Negativity, Judgement and crititism can wear you down.... There is some good advice here, and we'll all have to look after our mental health.... Standing in your own power is important.... Keep your distance when needed.... Ultimately look after yourself..... Protect your mental health however you can.....No one has the right to treat you as inferior or less than them, because you're not....

My gf is like this, and one thing that drives her insane is when she's being "critical" and mu only response is....."mkay". 🤣🤣

@emakellyina3869

3 жыл бұрын

ignore what she is saying, give her a kiss and tell her I love you and walk away with time she will get better.

A contentious wife is like a continual drip. Best fix is leave their ass. I’ve got peace now.

My wife is loving and caring around our friends and away from the house, but once we are at home she begins her nagging and not picking. Critical of everything I do and whenever I'm doing something, she isn't far behind me looking to see what I am doing and how I am doing it. As a trained baker, I occasionally decide to bake something and she is telling me that ilI am doing something wrong....how crazy is that! I am the one that has trained for many years - even had my own bakery before I met her..and yet - she is telling me how to do something and my way is wrong. But generally, this can wear you down and is not something to mock or make fun of. The home should be a happy place, not a dread or tip toeing on egg shells all the time.

@CC-2020

2 жыл бұрын

Sorry

I say , I need the bathroom, off I go with my phone and watch youtube. Then I sneak to bed and carry on watching youtube. I am not going to stick around to be verbally abused. I do this everytime, the second he starts criticizing, I am out of the room. Not sure how long before he catches on. I have told him but no difference.

@dimaalo1414

4 жыл бұрын

Same I just hope that he sleeps more after I woke up just do avoid him and thats just exhausting 💔

@angelazaruba3346

4 жыл бұрын

Me too

@tonniecowles4184

3 жыл бұрын

What I do to get away from it all is spend as much time away from him , go out and sit in the car and read Gods word ,

Matt Townsend is actually telling people to deny that a critical attack is a critical attack. Imagine the mental gymnastics and/or hard drugs this type of reality detachment requires. Beware of anyone who call themselves a 'relationship coach."

@MrHemi4spd

5 жыл бұрын

SanVic cognitive dissonance 101. Just go back to sleep and keep being abused.

@LinYouToo

5 жыл бұрын

Did you view the entire video? He provides helpful ways to go about addressing the critical attack and understanding how to communicate your needs and how to own what you can’t control and what you can control. Personally, I’ve had to adopt some of his recommendations with very critical people in my life. Just the other day when I left my mothers house she told me she thought I was shorter that I had shrunk. I simply turned around as I walked out the door and said “that’s possible.” And then I left. That is a phrase I use all the time when people are critical or judgmental toward me especially people I know who are typically judgmental of a lot of things and people in life. It’s amazing when you don’t get hooked in by becoming defensive.

@SanVic

2 жыл бұрын

@@LinYouToo Do you find it the least bit strange, he says to deny a critical attack is a critical attack, and then says how to deal with a critical attack? Does that logic sound the least bit odd? I would have told your mom to go f*ck herself.

That's so true. A negative partner or someone who is unhealthy themselves or emotional backwards will only see the negative outcome out of everything even if the critical stuff is true, it still doesn't give them the responsibility to point out the flaws and act like they're the ones who are perfect. I also meed to take notes because I was recently criticized and it hurt me at first but then I realized its just him. Not my fault and I can move on. I should have ignored the criticism but I didn't so we clashed. Messaged him about how it was wrong he ignores it so I'm having boundaries from now on and learning from this experience. I'm tired of it so I'm keeping distance until he reaches out and I dont care how long. I've always been the initiator, time for me to take that break to work on myself.

Tolerance toward verbal abuse is terrible advice. If they're critical and come from a place of contempt they dont love you. They're using you. Divorce.

@realSimoneCherie

5 жыл бұрын

CapnShelbshelb yup. If they could poll this I’d love to know how many people get married, claiming to want a partner, but are really looking for a maid, punching bag, Sperm/egg donor or other sort of slave!

@TheCosmicGypsy

5 жыл бұрын

@@realSimoneCherie 100%

@TheCosmicGypsy

4 жыл бұрын

@brandon Rodriguez it definitely is. I have years of first hand experience with verbal abuse from a "partner" and it is not something I would ever wish for anyone to have to experience. No one should feel like their love isn't good enough for them to feel loved and respected in return. Happiness with another comes from finding someone who truly appreciates you. It's better to be alone than to constantly wonder why you are not enough.

@mariariley3894

3 жыл бұрын

If you tolerate verbal abuse it enable the abusers to keep abusing

@TheCosmicGypsy

3 жыл бұрын

@@mariariley3894 That is completely right!!!

Wow this advice needed in dealing with my mother...

this really hellped me, thanku

Great!!! You are talking my heart out. I have done most of them and my partner is still cluless 😁

The analogy of the wilted flower... 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢 OUCH!

Sometimes you can't do anything with a critical spouse but divorce him. You shouldn't have tp "deal" with a critical spouse and continue to allow them to abuse you. They are doing it for a reason, which is to feel better about themselves. Stop being their punching bag.

5 жыл бұрын

You mean her.

@victoriahunter-spiritualco1546

4 жыл бұрын

@ AND HIM, which is my spouse. He is so critical he gets in arguements with people at parties. Just two days ago he criticized me using two piece of paper towels to wipe water spilled in the ice box and flowing on the floor. He said I was wasting them yet we had 8 rolls and there was no other thing I could use in the room. He said "I was just trying to help us save" we never run out of hand towels cause we never have guest often, and I also use my own hand towels in the bathroom upstairs.

but if you are taking it for 40 years, what then?

My life is like this Can't cook with our criticism Can't eat without criticism Can't use things without criticism Can put things away without criticism Can't do dishes without criticism Can't put my plant stuff in my basket without criticism. The list goes on. This is all while never saying nice stuff to me, all while I complimenting him, and doing nice things for him, and talking about things unrelated to what he do. If I say something about how critical he is, the next time I am in the room doing something, he will just jump in front of me and take over, the other day when he did, I almost stabbed him by mistake as I didn't know he was going to snatch the stuff out my hand suddenly and I had a knife in my hand. I am doing it all right just my own way and at my own speed but it is never good enough or right in his eyes. I finally got fired this past year, and said to him after going through it for a week straight. I said "you did all that, and didn't come out with any money, and risk losing your wife's attention. You are starting arguements through constantly being critical is putting our health at risk, both of us have parent dead under 70 years old, of heart attacks. If you feel better about yourself by being critical of me all the time, how do it make you richer? For you to keep doing it means the feeling isn't lasting, you should get a hobby, and get your dopamine from that instead of beating me up mentally and emotionally. " His reaction was priceless. He didn't know how to response. Now I just say "Here we go again, the more you do it today, the longer you going to be all by yourself unless you go get you somebody." Now we are living almost separated again cause he refused to stop.

@ecitb3005

4 жыл бұрын

Feel your world.

@kailjones6868

3 жыл бұрын

i feel your pain but I'm leaving!!!

...drink more. If your marriage is like this, it’s a not a marriage-it’s a sham. How can you have true intimacy and more detaching?

Critical spouses can be at war with you and want to ruin your day by being critical. I tried all what he said and more, it doesn't always work. I have been driven to corners with my ears covered to avoid the critical attacks. Every meeting with my spouse seems to be his job to have me do everything how he thinks it should be, or make me be perfect at what I am doing. He was nothing like that when I met him.

@erummahmud8523

4 жыл бұрын

Victoria Hunter - Spiritual Coach wow all of what you said speaks volumes to me. That’s my husband too!! But not as bad anymore as what you mentioned thank God or else I def would not want to be with him anymore. I’m gonna practice what they said in this video and things will look better hopefully.

My problem is I respond to it. I'm labeled as immature. Costing me my relationship Then I labeled the negative one. That shit beats you dwn. Like you can do anything right.

Sometimes these types of wives find another man to focus their anger upon. Most of the time they are borderline personality disordered individuals. They usually do not seek help or look in the mirror.

I really need some counseling... my wife and son are always pointing out my faults and I do remind them that it hurts but it isn’t helping. I am ready to walk out. I know that my own low self esteem brought this on but it’s hard to work on yourself and take this at the same time

@ecitb3005

4 жыл бұрын

Did you walk out? Do what is good for you, clearly they are not.

@kaleprincess8268

2 жыл бұрын

I’m sorry Jeffrey. You are a good person. You deserve all the happiness in the world. Please know that your wife and son are also likely struggling from low self esteem. They probably need to hear you love them just as much as you need to hear it. Sometimes, it’s really hard but we have to be the first ones to say something nice and let them know they’re appreciated. Lead by example. Highly recommend reading “How To Win Friends and Influence People.” It’s helping me learn to not criticize and give sincere appreciation to those in my life.

@jeffreychavey4161

2 жыл бұрын

@@kaleprincess8268 too late - but I’m much happier now

@kaleprincess8268

2 жыл бұрын

@@jeffreychavey4161 well then good for you. Proud of you for standing up for yourself!

My wife constantly criticises me . I stand up for.myself but it's constant arguments. The best strategy I found so far is to not speak ever and keep out the way!

@kajtracy

5 жыл бұрын

That has become my new strategy with my husband. It is easier for me to stay silent than to be criticized for what I have to say or everything I'm doing.

@glynisroberts5029

5 жыл бұрын

A good way to keep your sanity!

@ecitb3005

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah. I do the same, because whatever I say, he is taking it even a worse direction.

This broke my last relationship. She was the love of my life (as of yet), we had wonderful moments together. But she is very critical. When she started to be critical about me, I wasn't reacting or anything. But after a while, I started having resentment, being on the defensive. It was a roller coaster for a while. But then Covid started, we started living full time together. She had to work over 90 hours/week, so I had to do all the chores. But even after picking her clothes off the floor every day for a month, she would complain that the shower should be washed every two weeks. That I was not motivated and so on. But yes, I would end up smoking weed and playing video game every night after I’ve done all the necessary daily tasks while waiting for her to come home. At some point, I was hoping she would not come home early so I could have my free time. Basically, we were on two different team. And then She started coming back home during the evening (when I was normally doing the chores) but would be so tired and go to sleep or other night would want me to watch TV with her. But still, she never made me feel that she would do anything to help again. I felt like I was her roommate and employee, but not her partner. And after a week She decided It was not what she was looking for and left me. I do still love her, she did many good things for me

@JohnSmith-gn3ze

3 жыл бұрын

You’re not alone my guy.

I just ignore it. Don’t give him/her the opportunity to put me down. Life is too short to let others steal your thunder. Just walk away! They can criticize the wall. The wall will always be there for them to criticize

The most powerful video on this I've seen yet! Good info!

Someone who criticises you constantly is verbally abusive, if someone lives you, they will try and be better. This is BS

My wife is overbearing and critical. The one right thing I’ll do is divorcing her soon.

The difference between hearing criticism from a child is we don’t really respect the child like we do our spouse so it’s not the same. I respect my boyfriend so his criticism really hurts and I argue with him that he shouldn’t say that about me or treat me that way. Just saying “yes dear” or laughing in his face works for someone who doesn’t respect their spouse. I guess I’m fighting to keep that respect because once it’s gone i won’t be interested in him anymore.

I saw this psychologist or coach on the subject of selfish or pushy people and he was brilliant I look forwards to this presentation.

Yelled at yesterday for using a fan, despite it being 30°C and us not having air conditioning. These kinds of criticisms pop up all the time! And it's not just my wife, I seemingly attract these kinds of people (and even my family). I'm at a loss of how to deal with it.

@KayAhern

6 жыл бұрын

Josi G. You and me both . My mother is a narcissist and I attracted these toxic vampires being raised by one. Educate ya self or it’s your mental health that will be at stake xxx

The weird thing is my husband is messy but at the same time he nit picks about everything that I do

Interesting and valuable video! Thank you!

This is BS, I’m glad they can make it sound so cute but it’s not that easy. Critical people are controlling and some of them go to great lengths to maintain their sense of control.

I'm ready to leap in front of a bus. Legit.

@Brazz0123

2 жыл бұрын

I hear you dude

took me 16 years but I ended up not taking daily/hourly critisism and violent rage personally - God's Grace - then he told me about infidelity that he said was nothing to him so should be nothing to me this for me crossed the line and I left - Never been happier.

I so wish I could go to a conference or marriage camp with this guy! I'm afraid to even get out of bed due to the criticism.... I'm so exhausted.

My partner is negative and critical. It is difficult not to react especially he often sounds like a broken record and can go on about something which he does not like for a year.

Totally agree with what he is saying but I would add.....after 10 years or more of dealing with it within yourself and communicating with them about it and they don't care....you have a final option of leaving. Marriage is not a contract to absorb a lifetime of abuse. If you can learn to accept their hatefulness, they can learn to not be hateful.

This advice doesn’t work on those with a critical spirit. Good theory though.

Best to deal with an ungrateful heart first.

I've being doing this and he follows me until he makes me angry

He’s describing a narcissist. These people don’t change and only bring you down.

I like this guy is logical intelligence. He's got a sense of humour and when a man intelligent like this it's easy to respect and look up to. For me if a man isn't intelligent and he is a bit of a narcissist it's hard to respect him because he don't know how to reason things out this guy is a reasonable person..

What I have learnt is to.... "Respond"... Don't react!

Seems to me that it’s actually easier to take critical from your child then it is from a spouse. It’s just different. The man I’m with had a absent mother and father and missed out on a healthy childhood...i feel he takes it out on me. When a child is critical there is not really something underlining that causes it. And they are children so it’s expected. When a grown man is criticizing chronically to their spouse there is baggage they have brought into the relationship. And when a grown adult can seek help for their behavior and they don’t that is inexcusable. There is no excuse for someone who brings baggage from a pervious relationship. And I got to say that my husband is literally irritated when I’m happy, more so if someone outside of him makes me smile or feel good. He can’t stand it! He has no excuses when he will not obtain help!

Per his request (and complaints), I filed for divorce and now that we’re a year later, he’s been trying to “save the relationship”. He still does the same thing he’s been doing for the past 15 years, though: eye watering, mind piercing nagging. I try not to react to it - I really do - but when I show a crack, he increases the torrent and I find myself stress shopping, picking my face, or pondering what to do til I’m late for work. I’m at my wits end. I wish there was a magical incantation that could make it stop. There’s got to be some way to escape purgatory or dodge the hailstorm. I may have never found a surefire solution but I have hope.

@justrandom8766

4 жыл бұрын

Laryngitis......

Wait u can walk out in the middle of the “speech”?

Trying to be intimate with someone that is critical of you all day everyday is impossible. It wears you down after a while and you find yourself not even liking the person. It’s just best to leave it’s never going to get better.

MATT I LOVE YOU...………. I JUST CAME ACROSS YOUR FOOTAGE , FROM ONE DAD TO ANOTHER DAD, YOU DISCRIBE MY WFE TO A T. HOWEVER I CONTINUE TO WORK AT IT , IM DEFINITLY THE YANG AND MY LADY IS THE YIN !!!!

Is not being critical it's all about the the delivery of how things are said you are not toddler you know when u are being mean and hurtful its just your spouse is selfish and really DON'T care if they hurt you ...

My wife says I don't care when I try this strategy

But I've tried this...I've also tried to walk away...stay away...tell him I think its great you are perfect! But he always responds with....He will respond with "I'm not perfect BUT..." and he doesn't let up! No matter what I say. No matter what I do! UNTIL I blow up! Then he tells me "Its over. I'm not dealing with this you need help." If I just stay away or walk away he will pick it up where he left off later. There is no winning for me. :( I have no idea what on earth he wants but maybe its a robot. I have no idea how it is he excepts me to respond but apparently I do that wrong too!

@magzsara9892

6 жыл бұрын

Dawn there is an excellent video on youtube OCPD vs OCD Know the Difference. You partner has a mental disorder, not to be confused with a mental illness and you will find much relief when you have knowledge of this condition, The chap in this video has no idea what he's dealing with. I hope this helps..

@erinlawrence1501

4 жыл бұрын

My husband is the same way.

If somebody criticizes me sometimes I'll say things like what's your purpose of criticizing me is it to make me happy is it to make me feel better about myself because I don't like your criticism it's annoying and it's getting on my nerves and I want you to stop at right now unless you have a positive purpose for criticizing me and unless you want to help me out sincerely and if you don't then shut your mouth

My boyfriend blamed me for a steak knife that is missing. We don't know where it is, but for some reason it is my fault and since I won't buy another set, he is cancelling our plans for this weekend. lmao. The funniest point of this video is it's them not you. So why do you have to change?

@twiceborn9043

6 жыл бұрын

Christine WOW.....

@carenlzarate8603

6 жыл бұрын

All the blame is on us , is always someone fault but at the end is your (mine) fault..how stupedly convenient

@j4blaser

6 жыл бұрын

Oh man - red flag!! Trust me, I’ve been there, and married (am still married to) that kind of guy. Don’t do it. Do NOT let this fly. Or it will get worse and then you can’t change it!

@sagemoon640

6 жыл бұрын

j4blaser i know, I've been married to one for 18 years. I cry and feel like shit a lot. This guy makes it seem like talking to a negative narcissist is this easy; you make me feel "b" when you're acting "a". That's words for another fight. That's an fing joke!

@drakedrones

6 жыл бұрын

Oh boy! Drop him like it’s hot! Trust me the roots go deeper than you can reach! Leave him .

I guess the best is to spend some good 5 years knowing the person get past through the 2 years of stupidity (butterflies), if possible live together. Then you should really get to know and adapted.

Live with someone before getting married or having children so you can avoid being in prison until they die.

@shonazef7351

4 жыл бұрын

CC Why in prison until you die, you can divorce no matter what you lose just don’t lose yourself that’s what’s important

@CC-mr5xq

4 жыл бұрын

shoushou nazef True.

Thx man...🎹🎧🎶💚🖒..so true

Sometimes people who are highly critical or insecure and they are narcissistic and so if they can criticize you and get a reaction then it's drama and most narcissists love drama they like to be in control if they can just turn you a little bit and turn those knobs high enough to cause a reaction then they say ole that they are in control. Criticism used to really bother me years ago I used to take it so personal and if you used to make me cry and I go into the shell and it's because I was too insecure someone somebody criticizes me I'd like to put them on the spot right away or I will say things like you think your opinion is important to me right now it isn't because I know who I am and I don't need you telling me what to do because it's not important I'm not that insecure that I have to listen to you

Another words don't take it personally. It's the critisizers own fair and insecurities.

How do you deal with your "loving" husband saying that your family and people love everything about you because they dont really know you . (The context is that I lived for years with his mom and she hates me, since SHe is the one who knows who I really am, she Must be right ) I dont think I can ever get over it and it just broke any left feelings I had still for him.it broke my relationship with him deeply so much that I dont think we can get older together in the future.

For this week's Sunday School lesson video, please register www.sundayschooluniversity.com Registering is completely free - - no card needed and nothing to cancel or return.

Yep

My wife is narcissistic and demands me to babysit her all the time.

@Symond8

4 жыл бұрын

Martin Luther same here mate, doesn’t allow to me to do anything apart from my 9-5 job

@treanthony9831

4 жыл бұрын

😂

What if u don't have a spouse?

Call them out if its just to much and consitant, it needs to stop,often a critical partner is projecting their own bullshit onto you.

Every day for years... I can't not snap any more. On the edge. I think staying for the bullshit is my biggest mistake so far.

Very good message! Its more about their character not yours... thank you!

Walk out during criticism? Thats an automatic death sentence.

Good grief! My spouse is wearing me out...

My partner is a hypocrite. He is overbearing, lazy, short tempered and over opinionated.

@markfonti2145

6 жыл бұрын

your a critical person

@drakedrones

6 жыл бұрын

Welcome to my life.

@andresreydecastro

5 жыл бұрын

Wait, are you talking about my wife?

The key to not taking it personally is to have other people to be with you.... when you are alone it's hard to see that it's the critical spouse. I mean it is hard to not go insane...

If a man find such his wife is writing a check and he makes the excuse for her that she doesn't know that they had no money.. then that's feeding into her iresponsibility.. you never allow people to grow up and change if you allowed them to have excuses for their behaviour because the behaviour will keep on going and it's like saying well they didn't know we didn't have any money so why are you letting them off it's like a friend who always makes excuses for buying many many shoes when she doesn't need them.

Very helpful