Taking accountability for staying in a relationship for way longer than I should’ve hurt me more than him leaving and finding someone else. I realized how little I valued my time and loyalty. Although I wish I would’ve understood this sooner I’m grateful for the lesson.

@mb8219

11 ай бұрын

I felt your comment... this is me too 🙈🙊😭

@BruceLeon83

11 ай бұрын

Same boat. 💯

@saikiran9159

11 ай бұрын

The real question is Why did he/she left you. But it all boils down to one point If he/she left you without even trying, then they're never meant for you. Find the reason to know the truth rather than self accountability for the things you haven't done. Hope you find it and find peace in your life.

@TheGeekSheek

11 ай бұрын

If a man doesn’t marry you after 3 years , the women is the problem plain and simple , assuming he is ready to settle down of course.

@uncommonsense1976

11 ай бұрын

My daughter’s boyfriend asked me if he could court my daughter. I did not my worth at her age, but I do now.

I’m a guy and was HUGELY selective in who I dated. I found a girl who checked every box, dated her and got engaged. We both understood that divorce was not an option, so we HAD to get it right the first time. That was over 21 years ago and we are still married today.

@alex47_in_downtown18

11 ай бұрын

@@CaptainDarrick yaa me too

@throbbinwoodofcoxley6830

11 ай бұрын

@@CaptainDarrick I can’t answer for Chris, but my story is quite similar. I’ll tell you this first, I considered myself the commodity, not the women. I looked for and found the hottest, most chill, least annoying woman I could find.

@NathanaelNaused

11 ай бұрын

What boxes did you have?

@chrisgualtieri

11 ай бұрын

1. Christian 2. Pretty 3. Kind to strangers 4. Listened to her parents 5. Played an instrument 6. Had a good singing voice 7. Helped people without expecting anything in return 8. Wanted children 9. Agreed that marriage was permanent 10. Our love for each other meant forsaking all others Those were my 10 boxes.

@stadot1427

11 ай бұрын

​@@chrisgualtieri Before you get hate for that, sounds like a pretty solid list with a lot of promise. Did she miss on any of the boxes or check every one?

#1 piece of advice for single woman, if a man tells you something BELIEVE HIM. If he says he doesn't believe in marriage, don't stick around thinking you'll change his mind by showing him how great of a wife you would be. The only thing you're communicating to him by staying is that you're willing to be unmarried. Believe what they say and be willing to walk away. And get involved in groups or activities where you can meet new people.

@goodfornothings

6 ай бұрын

So true

@iamdonalee

4 ай бұрын

absolutely agree..

@user-ry5qb8hh3r

4 ай бұрын

many of them lie though, that's the thing. What kind of women would stick around after hearing they don't want to get married or have kids?

@bravo4adventure988

4 ай бұрын

I agree. Additionally, this is information you can find out on the very first date. "What are your thoughts on marriage?" Simple, direct, obvious. Even a man like myself who experienced 22 years of poverty and hardship after divorce isn't going to be bothered by this question. In fact it could lead to some interesting conversation about how I can do a serious long term (like, forever) relationship to include co-habitation even though I'm not terribly interested in getting the government involved by way of a contract that if said union goes south I'm certain to get financially destroyed without a rock solid pre-nup. Oh, and the wife is financially INCENTIVIZED to break said contract. Years ago I learned the importance only entering into arrangements that benefit both parties (WIN/WIN) or simply walking away (NO DEAL). Any arrangement in which one party benefits at the expense of the other party (WIN/LOSE) in unethical or immoral, if not both.

@fatimah230

4 ай бұрын

@@user-ry5qb8hh3r people do think they can change other’s minds sometimes. They end up wasting so much of their lives…

I definitely wasn’t “financially ready” when my wife and I got engaged. I didn’t “marry the one that was in front of me when I was ready”, I got myself to the point where I was ready because the one that was in front of me was the one.

@chaoswitch1974

5 ай бұрын

That's sweet.

@TheEarthRealm

5 ай бұрын

👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿

@haroldharold9042

5 ай бұрын

That’s how it should be!

@AM-ut7dg

4 ай бұрын

Respect. Gentlemen, take notes!

@Whiteboard7

4 ай бұрын

That’s deep

Ladies, if the man you're with doesn't want to marry you within 6months to 3 years, walk away. He doesn't want you

@Gennamel2

2 ай бұрын

My husband says this too, 6 month time limit. He knew he wanted to marry me after 2 weeks. 🙂

@sajidvelez24

Ай бұрын

A man knows from 6 to 12 months. I knew at month 2

@brianclark4040

Ай бұрын

Agreed….women have a limited window for optimum fertility…if there are doubts move on

@blakedjameson

Ай бұрын

Yup, I told my wife before we even started dating that if we aren't engaged after 6 months, we're getting engaged that day or breaking up.

@thespianmask8451

Ай бұрын

It took my 7 years before I proposed, but I told my now-fiancee that my intentions were marriage. The reason why it took 7 years was purely financial. Because of the pandemic, it made it risky to leave my work for a higher paying one, so I was stuck there for a little longer than planned (for context, the lockdown where I was at started Feb 2020, and only started lightening up mid-2022), then at my new job, I was able to muster enough money within a single year of work to propose to her. I knew she was the one because we've known each other since 2012, and never chose to look for anyone else. Local culture is just very, very strict about relationships, and very much different from how it is in the Western world, so we take things much slower (7 years is still pretty slow here though lmao).

I had a roommate that said he would know in 30 days if he was going to marry that girl. He always had girlfriends that lasted 15-20 days, but then they weren't for him. I got married, moved out, and ran into him about a year later. He told me he was dating a girl for 35 days. I asked him if she was the one, and he said yes. He got married to her, had 5 kids, and is going strong. BOOM!

@TatjanaGnjidic

11 ай бұрын

Exactly it can be that fast I never understood people who need years just to break up

@justindangersmith

11 ай бұрын

@@TatjanaGnjidic they are scared of the unknown or comfort/complacent in their current situation

@ilikepancakes2368

11 ай бұрын

@@TatjanaGnjidic That’s because you need time to get to know someone truly. Knowing someone during the first month is just delusional which is why I was surprised that OP’s friend took that leap. You can call it brave but I call it foolishness. I hope he’s lucky that he attached himself to a true loyal woman and not a narcissist who’s just putting on an act.

@Najneen99

11 ай бұрын

Seems like most men are shite

@grantstratton2239

11 ай бұрын

Pretty similar experience here. I think within 3-4 months I knew whether a girl was "just fun" or "the one" and I wasn't just looking for fun.

I was “The Next Girl” for my husband of 3 years now. We have talked about why he never married any other woman he dated and he said that I was the only woman who actually acted like I cared about him instead of caring about what I could get from him.

@davidward9487

Жыл бұрын

THIS COMMENT IS SERIOUSLY UNDERRATED! Bless you both!

@vetr17384

Жыл бұрын

Same thing for me. We're getting married in September after just 8 months of relationship. We were both mature, were able to care for eachother and knew what exactly we were looking for

@lauramorgan27

Жыл бұрын

tbh your husband was probably not the nicest to those other women. they were likely just fine. if someone says "all my exes were crazy, gold diggers, etc." that's a red flag. sounds like your husband was the problem. good luck.

@jbshbsskskhbs6713

Жыл бұрын

@@lauramorgan27 Don't have to be bitter lol, I'm pretty sure she knows her husband better than you. "Be kind" shouldn't be that controversial.

@viciousLUA

Жыл бұрын

@Laura M. Who hurt you

When I was single, I had a two year rule. I refused to date anyone for longer than two years without a commitment to marriage. Two years is plenty of time to get to know a person well enough to make a decision on marriage. I hear about these relationships that drug on for years and eventually fall apart. They probably should’ve ended years earlier and both parties were just going through the motions, wasting both their time.

@angrybunnies9664

4 ай бұрын

Yes! And engagements should be only 6months to a year. I don't understand these 5 year engagements. If you want to marry someone, then get married!

@michealnelsonauthor

3 ай бұрын

I was the same way, but 3 year's. I asked my last gf to marry me at 3 years. Then she relaxed and changed her behavior in dramatic ways… we didn't see 4 years together. Now I'm married 3 years… hmmm.

@LittleMew133

2 ай бұрын

I know a girl who just wants marriage, doesn't really matter to who as long as they would marry her. I'm convinced she is a terrible spouse and mother.

@michealnelsonauthor

2 ай бұрын

@@LittleMew133 yes, there are some who view marriage as a parasitic support scheme for a woman to get perpetual support from any Man whom she screams for independence from, via the gimmick of “help raising her kids”, after putting their father out of the home.

@jaden_skywalker

2 ай бұрын

@@JesusisyourLORD You should take time to learn about them, and that usually takes more than 3 months. But starting to discuss marriage around 3 months into the relationship is necessary. And also make sure your intentions are up front from the beginning.

I am a massage therapist who has worked on many couples celebrating their anniversaries or other special occasions. I always like to ask how they met each other. Over the years, there has been a solid precedent of this pattern. One example was a person who said they had been with their ex for 3 years, but then 3 weeks after being with their current partner, they moved in together. They just knew. I've heard versions of this story over and over. Sometimes people were young, sometimes people were much older, but when it was aligned, they knew. It seems to be true, when you know, you know.

@sarahrobertson634

4 ай бұрын

That's the rebound.

@elvnprince

4 ай бұрын

@@sarahrobertson634 There could definitely be similarities, but these people were celebrating years together and still couldn't be more in love with each other. It was an immediate click.

@thebigplugsa

Ай бұрын

Yup. Looks like it’s either you know that they are the one, or they are just not it.

Ай бұрын

​@@sarahrobertson634 it could start off as a rebound, but once you experience that moment where you realize you have a lot of respect for this person, they inspire you to be better, and vice versa, then it evolves into commitment and love.

@ChalyntheRed

9 күн бұрын

I met someone special as a 15 year old, and we’ve been together for over 20 years now. When you know, you know.

My mom once told me that in young relationships, people tend to get into immature habits that aren’t going to change as long as they’re with that person. So when it comes time that you start dating someone new, you’re more aware of what needs to be done differently, which results in a healthier relationship that’s inevitably more likely to lead towards marriage.

@shanekeenaNYC

Жыл бұрын

It doesn't matter what work you put in, how much passion or free will you have. You gotta have the stones.

@SRose-vp6ew

Жыл бұрын

The issue is you don’t need to date and be in a bad exual fake romantic relationship in order to realize there’s things you need to work on and make a choice to work on them when you do marry. Hormonal young men are not looking for wives, women should probably stop acting like they’re in a committed relationship until the guy actually commits. That would solve most problems. It’s just a fact that fewer than 1% of people that marry as virgins ever get a divorce. They prove they are looking for commitment and willing to commit.

@randycliff4045

Жыл бұрын

I believe couples should be married in their 20s and grandparents in their 40s. That doesn't mean you accept blindly the affections of just anyone. It's perfectly fine to "date" with older couples; hopefully this might be your parents, but that relationship is not what you want, then find one or two couples with a marriage that impresses you and try to learn what they did to get there. Remember a long-term relationship is called marriage, so don't waste your own time, and try not to waste the guy's time either.

@davidz3879

Жыл бұрын

Millions of people never marry or want to.

@heroldjaras9909

Жыл бұрын

actually virgins have the lowest divorce rate. so being a virgin should make someone more ready for a marriage, doesnt it?

After dating for 2 months, I asked my then boyfriend if he would ever get married. It freaked him out lol but I told him I didn’t want to waste my time and I wanted to be with someone who wanted marriage, not necessarily with me but with the right woman. He proposed one year later and we’ve been married for seven years now. So, yes I agree that setting standards in the beginning is super important!

@sebastianplatt6815

Жыл бұрын

There you go

@pinksmoke25123

Жыл бұрын

Yup same for me , I told my husband pretty early in dating that I was trying to figure out if he was my future husband so if he wasn’t trying to see if I was his future wife we shouldn’t waste each others time basically. We got married after about 2 years together I wouldn’t have stuck around for longer without even getting engaged. I feel like in a couple years if they aren’t worth marrying you know that already no reason stringing someone along.

@pinksmoke25123

Жыл бұрын

Yup same for me , I told my husband pretty early in dating that I was trying to figure out if he was my future husband so if he wasn’t trying to see if I was his future wife we shouldn’t waste each others time basically. We got married after about 2 years together I wouldn’t have stuck around for longer without even getting engaged. I feel like in a couple years if they aren’t worth marrying you know that already no reason stringing someone along.

@TotallyxKatiee

Жыл бұрын

It is. I had similar expectations with my now husband. At one year he still wasn’t ready to propose and I was going to walk. I told him if he wasn’t ready, I was going to move on and he proposed two days later. Women just let this go on. Men don’t wanna buy the cow when they can get the milk for free.

@vociferonheraldofthewinter2284

Жыл бұрын

THIS. Notice how she brought it up in conversation. She didn't say, "Just know I want to be married. If you don't propose by X date, I'm out. The clock is ticking, buster." Smart girl! lol

the first time i hangout with my now husband, at the time we were just friends, he told me he wanted to marry me and he was serious, he insisted on talking to my parents to ask them if he could date me, we set up boundaries for dating like no sex before marriage, we were upfront about what we wanted, we got premarital counseling at church, dated for 1 year, were engaged for 1 year, and have been married for 10 years :) hes my best friend

@jazzyone1986

5 ай бұрын

You did it Gods way and your union will always be blessed. I love this!

@dreamchaser7603

5 ай бұрын

The prove men see a woman as one of their properties and possessions… They don’t see her as a person…

@actually4660

4 ай бұрын

@@dreamchaser7603 why you getting bitter at someone’s happiness? I bet u a 304 losser 🤮. Alexan won in life, and you can’t see other women happy🤢

@melissanasser9777

4 ай бұрын

​@@dreamchaser7603?

@BlueDauntless

4 ай бұрын

@@dreamchaser7603that’s a really stupid correlation.

After being together a while I found out that my bf got with me after ending his 4-year relationship for a few months. I was taken a back a little and even asked if I was just a rebouce lol. He reassured me that the previous relationship was over way before it actually ended, and that he cherished me and our relationship made him happier than ever. More than a year in, he proposed and now we're happily married. He said that he knew I was the one when he couldn't imagine living far away from me. Men don't just marry the one in front of them at the right time. They are not that simple-minded haha.

@linhduong0809

4 ай бұрын

My husband also said he knew he needed to propose when he could not imagine living without me. I was planning to move abroad so he had to act quickly. He also had a 5 year and then on off relationship before me.

@allana6960

7 күн бұрын

Ty I'm just remembering how my ex never cared about me! Lol he gaslighted me through hell and back. Right when he told me he wanted to date me, I said that I only date if it is with the possibility of marriage. He pretended all along... Never gave him sex tho.

Two big reasons: 1. Breaking up with someone comes with a lot of clarity. You are hyper-aware of what you DON’T want, so it’s easier to find someone who is what you do want. 2. Some people after a breakup are trying to “catch up” or make up for lost time. So they rush the next relationship because they feel like the break up wasted a bunch of their time and they need to catch up. Bad idea. 🙄

@atrejo389

11 ай бұрын

False - Trump

@magathzen524

11 ай бұрын

@@atrejo389 FINWIFNWwgndvx - Biden

@Tariphilip

11 ай бұрын

This comment was too good for 666 likes. 😅

I knew that my husband was my husband after about two weeks of dating, he said the same one day after about a month, something like "I hope you understand that I am very serious, that I see a future with you one day, do you know what that means?" And I responded "You mean, like marriage?" And he replied "Yes, if you can just wait a few years." And I proceeded to never bring up engagement or marriage for the next three years, because he told me in the beginning what his intentions were, and he established the timeline early, and above all, I believed him. He proposed to me after three years, we got married six months after that, and we've been happily married for three years, now trying for children. When you know, you really do know. Accepting it brings a lot of peace to your life.

@phoenixfeatherr

Жыл бұрын

I’m happy that that worked out for you. Other times the guy will make the same statements about wanting to get married and waiting and then drop you after 5 years for… interesting reasons (sad excuses). Speaking from experience 🙃

@RisingUnderdog

Жыл бұрын

​@phoenixfeatherr what'd you do that made him wanna break up with you?

@shirin8609

Жыл бұрын

​@@phoenixfeatherr What?! What happened? 😮😮😮

@shirin8609

Жыл бұрын

That's beautiful. I hope you have many wonderful years together and a veritable menagerie of children ❤

@dinosaur___7209

Жыл бұрын

@@RisingUnderdog why do you assume it was her? He's the one who broke a promise here and clearly lead her on

I'm glad I'm seeing this even if I'm 6months late to it. I was with my ex for 13 years & had standards when we started dating about timing of marriage & children ect, but he kept not meeting them & I allowed that. Now I'm in my 30s & am learning to walk away & not waste time when standards such as basic honesty & respect are not met.

@theeemaven

4 ай бұрын

Giiirl hugs to you. I feel yah

@en2336

4 ай бұрын

Married men live longer/healthier/less stressful lives, earn more/are wealthier/have more opportunities, and are more respected by men and desired by women wheras ALL OF THAT is the opposite for married women. Marriage is a SCAM for women honestly

@lyaadonara1386

4 ай бұрын

Good for you, girl!! Now go hv fun, loving yourself & glow!! You will find the best one at your best time. Amen ❤

@marissashantez6051

4 ай бұрын

No worries. Look at what happened to Vanessa Hudgens after Butler left her. She married a cuter, and more pleasant seeming dude, and they make an awesome couple. I dont know if Butler is engaged, but Hudgens is married.

I think it's more like you find "the one" when you are actually ready to. Also it tends to happen when you are focusing more on change and being yourself and less on dating. I was a single mom when I met my husband and had completely given up dating. I was still recovering from brain surgery as well as substance abuse. So I started to go to group therapy to take care of my mental health and be a better mom. My husband had decided to go to group therapy as well for other reasons. And that was where we met. We got engaged in less than a year and here we are 7 1/2 years later still going strong. True love happens when you least expect it. ❤

I was the first girl my husband ever dated, kissed, did anything with. We both went into it with similar values, with marriage as the goal, wanting children, and waiting to have sex until marriage. We met and started dating when I was 19. We got married when I was 21. We’re now 11 years married, 13 years together, 3 kids in. We’ve built a beautiful life together , and all because of healthy boundaries and an unwillingness to waste our time. Can’t recommend this highly enough.

@user-qk3qn8fc1r

11 ай бұрын

You're living my dream, such a flex to be with someone who never dated anyone before you. I don't care what others say, there is nothing more beautiful than being the first ones for each other

@jrobs1133

11 ай бұрын

He lied to you. You're welcome.

@ZIANNmusic

11 ай бұрын

Aww am happy for you

@user-dy1vf7lu3i

11 ай бұрын

@@jrobs1133 You can’t know

@jrobs1133

11 ай бұрын

@@user-dy1vf7lu3i yeah, I can. I’m a man.

I decided to stop dating because I was getting nowhere with men, but then my husband came into my life when I least expected to meet someone. He proposed after 4 months of dating and we were married 2 months after that. Everyone thought we were crazy, but when you know you know. 13 years later we have built a beautiful life together with 2 beautiful children and I can’t see living my life and growing old with anyone else! ❤🙏🏼❤️

@eddymakoyo

11 ай бұрын

Wow can I come in between?

@vivianamullin2743

11 ай бұрын

So, true. When you know, you know ❤

"Value yourself enough to walk away" ❤

From my experience, I know the following: Men get serious or marry the next girl so fast because they feel insecure about the failure of their last relationship. They know they screwed up and try to "look good" in the eyes of the society by picking a random woman (often more insecure than them) who is easy to manipulate & is giving them the basics they need without many questions. Most men are narcissistic so they have this characteristical behaviour - they get involved with a woman, things aren't going smoothly as they want and she is not giving them what they want so easily or the woman is on a much higher level than them and they can't maintain her interest, so at one point they break up or stop communicating because of this and the man is going straight to the next woman in line, to ask for the same thing (most often for sex and validation) in order to fulfill their needs and get back at least some of their ruined self esteem. A friend of mine got a fiance for 3 years - incredible, sweet woman. He cheated on her with another woman for the last year of their relationship and tried to make her look crazy and jealous in front of all of us. At one point they broke up - he broke up with her "because she was crazy" and the day after he started showing up with his new girlfriend. After it got out from the dark that he was a cheater, he married his new woman out of guilt and to rebuild his good reputation. Nobody likes this woman in our circle until now, even after 5 years of their relationship and we all know they are fake as Prada handbag made in China. So actually, truth is that the man in such situation doesn't love his "wife", he just got scared of being exposed or being alone. :)

@6215..

3 ай бұрын

Perfect 👏👏

@amapnamedpam

3 ай бұрын

Yeah.. no your friends very specific situation isn't the blueprint for how these situation in relationships usually go. Just the fact you say most men are narcissistic tells me you yourself are probably a narcissist or just have some deeply rooted hatred for men cuz of your friends situation when in reality most men aren't like that at all, but do you

@vishakhabh.6341

Ай бұрын

Very very true!

@79Dnivara

19 күн бұрын

Did you come to this conclusion about men based on what this one man did?

@morthriel

18 күн бұрын

@@79Dnivara No, not really. I've seen this behaviour many times, in different people. You might also take a look at forums like Quora and etc. to see what people around the world share on the topic. Appears to happen more often than I've expected.

As a guy coming out of a 4 year relationship, i assure you that when i'm picking a partner i'm WAY more selective. I learned about the things i want in a partner (and the things i dont want), so when i'm dating someone and i see they have all these things then i'm going to put a ring on their finger fairly soon. The "next girl" isn't just the girl that happens to be in front of me, it's the girl that i choose after years of relationship experience. The "next gir" is the "next girl" for a reason. Not just chance.

@miche6563

Жыл бұрын

this. i wonder if its on the list. you learn from mistakes, if youve been with someone for years, hyou might be a ot less willing to waste so much time on the wrong person, you will be more selective, perhaps break up quicker or marry up. even with shorter relationships this is surely common behaviour if someone actually wants a relationship they will learn from the pros and cons of each prior one.

@jimluebke3869

Жыл бұрын

Yes. Absolutely this.

@cutwagman

11 ай бұрын

Some guys are with girls for a long time and will wait until the girl breaks it off because if he tries to break it off first she goes batshit crazy. So he waits, and he waits, and he waits.

@KirisutonoNeko

11 ай бұрын

There’s something I don’t understand about this scenario, though. Why date exclusively in such a case? Why not get to know each other and learn about what one wants in a partner by “being friends” and “dating around”? It seems to me the exclusivity of it creates the wasted time-which is way more important for women due to the biological clock. Note dating around =/= sleeping around.

@shayalynn

11 ай бұрын

This makes a lot of sense actually.

I married the woman I did because when I was around her, it was her qualities (who she was and wanted to be) that inspired and motivated me to be a better man. That was 39 years ago. I continue to be honored and humbled that she chose me too.

@ironictea

11 ай бұрын

That's so sweet ❤

@Ribbitplease

11 ай бұрын

Very sweet! How did she inspire you?

@saladfingers.

11 ай бұрын

That's lovely

@leandra41

11 ай бұрын

I love this

@entenfrucht1083

10 ай бұрын

My man, you are winning in life 🤝🏻🙏🏻

Ladies, also understand that a man will never leave you! He will waste your time for decades until he finds a better replacement, and he will throw all those years away, leave you, marry her without hesitation, simply because she was the woman who had standards, and demanded marriage, while you didn’t. So next time you think “Oh, we’ve been together so long, I don’t want to waste years of my life just to leave 😢” remember, that he would do it in a heartbeat if it were him. Last note, if he isn’t talking about marriage/ settling down/ or having kids at least 6 months to a year into the relationship, it’s probably because you are not the girl he wants to settle down with ! Don’t ever confuse a longterm relationship as a substitute for marriage, no ring? NO LIFETIME COMMITMENT! Move on, and find a man who is ready to marry, and shared your values. Our youth is important! Don’t waste your 20’s babysitting a boy, go find a man who is 1000% sure he wants to marry you. Anything else, you are wasting your time. 😊

As someone who got engaged after 6 years, it’s way too long. It didn’t bother me at the time. None of my friends would tell me they got engaged because they felt guilty they met and married people before we got engaged. They would hide their ring finger when I randomly ran into them so I wouldn’t feel bad. At the time, I never understood why since I was happy for my friends. Now, I realize it was very embarrassing and he knew I was too codependent to leave so he had no incentive to take the next step. I don’t have family so there was no pressure there. We are now married, and he feels guilty he treated me like that. But now I’m stuck with it.

@yuliag8073

5 ай бұрын

It was so sad to read your comment. You definitely deserve a better treatment. 😢

@ABirdOnTheMoon

4 ай бұрын

You sure deserver happiness. You are not stuck. I hope you know that you still have a choice. You can make that choice. That choice to leave might feel impossible but you can still do it .. just one step at a time. You might think of million reasons not to .. those reasons you can work on. You don't have to spend your life depending on a person you clearly don't love. Find a job .. try to find a path for yourself. If you can't take a big step .. find people you can talk to or who can help you with taking such steps .. I wish you all the best.

@warmpi

4 ай бұрын

Looking at your pfp That guy got really lucky

@heavenssent7737

4 ай бұрын

6 years girl try 9 😢

@truehappiness4U

4 ай бұрын

Girl don’t compare your life to others LOL, it’s probably an American thing to marry that quickly? In Europe it’s normal to marry after 6 or more years of dating. Some don’t even marry lol. The fact he asked to marry you is very kind of him. He could have just ignored your wishes lol. This is your life, not your friends. This whole situation ain’t a bad thing to you, only for your friends who don’t care about you anyways. Everyone has their own life

I think the worst thing about the trend is the idea of “The one.” Soul mates don’t exist. The one is the one you choose. Love is always a choice.

@MiaogisTeas

11 ай бұрын

Daily

@Michganfanatic

11 ай бұрын

Exactly

@joannasowinska6789

11 ай бұрын

So true!

@jmanswat2457

11 ай бұрын

2nd

@Grace-bd2rw

11 ай бұрын

Personally I think soulmates do exist, because I’ve experienced it. It’s okay if others don’t agree! But you still have to actively choose them and put work into it every day, it doesn’t just automatically work out.

Also let’s take a moment to remember that you cannot date POTENTIAL. Don’t go into a relationship thinking that you can “change” that person - set the standards, if they don’t meet them, move on.

@jimluebke3869

Жыл бұрын

If you follow this strategy, be prepared to marry a man who is older than you, possibly significantly older. And remember, men DO marry potential to have kids, so find that guy soon -- 30 is pushing the limit, and at 35, you're likely out of luck.

@vociferonheraldofthewinter2284

Жыл бұрын

You are correct. Just yesterday I'd seen the red flags of another couple's situation that illustrates the 'potential' problem. There are patterns and this one never plays out well. A young couple has just started dating. The young man isn't in a position to have a wife and family and probably never will be. The girl has gone in HARD. She's infatuated and would accept a ring today if he proposed. (That's never a good sign by itself) Women find a wonderful man who's 90% perfect. They fall in love with the 90% and dismiss the 10% that's lacking. The problem is that the 10% is important - like him not having a decent job and never intending to get a good job. Artists and musicians are prime candidates for this little passion play. The guy fall in love with her acceptance of him. He shares everything with this girl and she's 100% kind and understanding. He trusts her and decides to jump the broom. After the wedding, life begins to intrude. Kids up the pressure a LOT. (This particular female is talking about having his babies already.) Suddenly the female is living in a state of fear because the bills aren't getting paid. If she's working, she's now barely keeping her head above the waterline and she knows she's not being the best mom she should be. She begins to pressure him to step up to his financial responsibilities. He doesn't. She gets more scared and, in that state of fear; first she cries, then she starts to resent him, then holds him in contempt, then she gets mean. Ultimately she walks and she hates him forever for leaving her to raise their kid on her own. The guy is completely taken off guard. He's exactly the same person that she loved. From his perspective she either changed or 'she finally showed her true colors.' The problem was, she married the 90% and assumed the missing 10% would automatically fill itself in later. "Surely after he holds his firstborn in his arms, he'll man-up and be as responsible as he should be and get a good job." Nope. That doesn't happen. That NEVER happens. EVER. I've seen this scenario play out a hundred times. It's probably the most common trap out there and women fall into it all the time. Sadly, no amount of sense will stop them. These females are like a dog with a bone and they will NOT let go.

@jimluebke3869

Жыл бұрын

@@vociferonheraldofthewinter2284 You should probably expand your circle of friends outside just "musician" types. Although I've seen this drama play out at levels well above subsistence. The guy looks at his six-figure, 12-hour-shifts-plus-weekends job, looks at the amount of time he actually gets to spend with his wife (who he married because he loved being with her) and their kids, and when that job opportunity dries up he decides he's happy to settle into a (mostly) 9-to-5 with the high-five-figure income. From the example of his parents, he sees that with careful budgeting, things will be fine. But she doesn't want to budget. She wants to throw money around. She just wants to be RICH, and if he's not going to be the means to that end, she'll do it herself. She gets the 100-hour-a-week job (well, a 40-50 hour a week job, but the only way she can actually get it right is to redo things over and over again), and their spending time as a family becomes as rare as it was when he was working the backbreaking schedule. She resents any rational imposition on (or indeed, any investigation into) her spending habits, and resents him "holding her back" (although after the divorce her career trajectory flames out and she goes back to the kind of job she had years prior to the divorce). He thinks she's crazy and irresponsible for absolutely refusing to be careful with money, resents the idea that he's apparently "just an ATM and a sperm donor", and is deeply confused and hurt by the idea that now spending time as a family is at "maybe we'll get to it sometime this year" on her priority list. Honestly, we would all be better off if women were just more content with what they got. It's when they push for more (without being willing to sacrifice anything of their own, like the company of a cat that pi**es on the kitchen table if you let it inside) that things that could work (had worked, for years), start to unravel.

@lkdsgfhdfhgg

11 ай бұрын

This is honestly facts. Sooo many of my girl friends struggle with this and it's infuriating to me because ultimately it's their own fault. I love them but sis, get a grip and call the shots of your own life.

@ydid687

11 ай бұрын

@Chris apt proclamation

Actually this concept seems kind of good to digest-- A person seeks marriage when the time is right for them in their life. You can't be "whatever" enough to make them marry you. You can't be the love of their life enough. You can't stay long enough. You can't... make someone. Getting a good read on the person you're with as to whether they're interested in settling down right now within a time frame that you are is important. They may enjoy being with you very much, and also not want to stay with you. That's gotta be a heartbreaking situation, but it's not you. It's not that you're not enough. This just seems like a good cultural moment to explore that we've been sold the idea that true love is being this magical connection for someone and then it will * MAKE * them love you forever and stay with you. The fact the conversation is specifically talking about women wanting the man they were in love with the stay with them shows that the cultural narrative was always "be pretty enough, be sexy enough, be servile enough, be compliant enough, be pleasant enough, do everything he wants, and then you'll get what you want." It's a lie, and who wins? Every man who is with you. It's a society-wide manipulation to extract your emotion, effort, service to the last drop without even needing to beat you.

I love this video. Today’s culture prioritizes dating over marriage and shames women for having standards and expectations. It is better to be single and waiting than to be in a relationship that is going nowhere. When dating to marry (which you should be) you must have standards and expectations that should be evident to your partner.

@risivenkian

4 ай бұрын

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

@kv2723

2 ай бұрын

Well said!!!

My dad always said life is 90% timing. You could meet someone you’re totally compatible with and it’s just not the right time, and such is life.

@EdoardoGioia-qb9vd

4 ай бұрын

i swear for a moment i thought i was about to get rickrolled@attraktive

@prettyzuneira

4 ай бұрын

💯

@kv2723

2 ай бұрын

Sad but true.

@aeptacon

Ай бұрын

thanks for giving me hope lol

@foreveryoursunconditionally

Ай бұрын

I agree, because I met but timing was wrong.

I stayed in my first relationship way longer than i should have. When I met my now husband, we did get engaged in the midst of an argument about how I wasn't willing to hang around and date forever. I told him if he didn't commit, I'd walk. An hour later, my engagement ring was on its way to be sized. In my first relationship, I honestly thought I would break beyond repair if I lost him. When I didn't, I decided for myself that I wouldn't let someone waste my time. I'm really glad it was my husband I married in the end cause now im older and wiser i can see how much of a tool my ex was 😂

@aakankshasangwan4130

4 ай бұрын

Hi! How do you know looking back at your experience, what are the signs that you stayed longer than you should've? I've been in an exclusively long distance relationship for 7 yrs and going through a rough patch right now. Something inside me always feels like it's not quite right but I haven't found any significant flaws with him. I tryto look for any practical reasons for this feeling but can't find any at all. I really need to figure this out. 28 F here. Really looking for the perspective of someone elder to me.

@ladybuglady449

4 ай бұрын

I’m not elder than you I’m only 22 but I’ve dated ~4 people already and have ALWAYS the “not quite right” feeling for everybody, even if there is no flaw, I just felt it wasn’t right. None of those relationships lasted more than a year because that feeling would always nag at me to the point of self sabotage until I’d drive them away. Looking back at those relationships now I can say that there definitely were a lot of things wrong. A lot of ways I was made to be small, hide parts of my personality, not feel truly celebrated or excited or enticed or inspired, or they were just jerks and I gaslit myself to believing that it was normal. The thing is, when you’re actually living in it, you just can’t really see the picture clearly. You have to stop using logic and thinking it through. Instead listen to your body. Your body is your subconscious mind and it senses things your conscious mind cannot. Then give it some time after the relationship, and you’ll be able to see much clearer why it had to end. Hope this helps.

@aakankshasangwan4130

4 ай бұрын

@@ladybuglady449 Thanks so much! I too have realised that logic hasn't gotten me anywhere and this is the one and only relationship I've been in. Everything seems perfect on paper but I can't shake this off. The paper perfect is making it wayy harder than it needs to be. Whenever I try to think of any other guy I feel like they aren't any better and that I must accept the person and the relationship.

@ladybuglady449

4 ай бұрын

Your experience is extremely common and your words were my exact same thought process when dating my exes. “Perfect on paper” is so real… When I did fall in love with people, they were extremely imperfect. They did not check off my boxes. And yet, I was still infatuated and over the moon. I realized that if any of those “perfect on paper” exes had any of those imperfections, I would have left so easily because I was holding them against a high standard since my feelings just weren’t there. When you’re actually blown away, it’s crazy how much you will ignore or tolerate or accept solely due to love. Others may have different advice, but I think I really prefer the feeling of being totally consumed by someone and having butterflies. I know it doesn’t last forever, but you can still feel excited and just right about someone for a long time. If it isn’t that feeling, then I am simply happier being alone.

@aakankshasangwan4130

4 ай бұрын

There is someone who I'd never expect to fall in love with but I have been feeling butterflies. I get energized after meeting him n love to talk about him even though I would never let myself go further. I know I'm in the wrong to feel any kind of way for another and I know I won't cross boundaries and I wish I could feel this for the one I'm with. I'm still looking for what quality he has that pulled me in. Should I break the existing relationship? Especially considering that I've felt for someone else. I won't get to fall in love the next time around, will probably be found in an arranged marriage. My boyfriend knows that I don't feel for him but is waiting for me to move on to another relationship (which I don't plan to). We went through a long rough patch in an already permanently long distance relationship and I realised at a point in it that I'm depleted and don't love him anymore. I still care enough to not want to see him suffer, that would hurt me too much. Sorry for rambling here, there's no other place to share and I needed to accept these things in writing.

I told my husband we had one year to determine if we should get married. If he decided not to, then I would leave. His ex hung around for 5 years even after he told her he didn't want to marry her. Girls stay when they know it is a dead-end. While we got engaged a year later and have been married for 5 years.

“Why would you want to be with somebody who couldn’t decide if you were the one?” Truer words have never been said…🙌

@bm5_5_5

11 ай бұрын

I loved hearing that it was needed!

As a live wedding painter, a lot of couples I've seen were either high school sweethearts or together for several years. I was in a 4 year relationship that I realised was never going anywhere, and I was done wasting my time. So I told myself the next guy I dated would be the man I marry, which made me way more selective and changed how I put myself out there. When I met my partner, we already discussed what we wanted and whether we were compatible. This is a common thing.

@rrteppo

11 ай бұрын

Men tend to be easily satisfied. Let's take fishing for example, you spend a bunch of money to sit on a boat in the middle of nowhere not catching anything at all for hours. Just because it's pretty outside and you get to talk with your buddy a bit.

@guillermoaguirret

11 ай бұрын

I was for 13 years together with my girlfriend. I ended things. There’s not a day that goes by where i dont regret my decision.

@taylorc2542

11 ай бұрын

Quite simply, you have to lock down men when they are in the oxcytocin phase of the relationship.

@benspragge33

11 ай бұрын

I could be wrong, but guys are like microwaves and girls are like slow cookers. If they are both looking for marriage, the guy will usually fall in love and commit to the girl quickly and be happy, where as the girl tests the relationship through subconscious actions and ultimately decides yes or no over a period of months or longer. The first date I knew I wanted to marry my now wife. It took her a while. But this process is important because a woman has a much more intricate and important roll in balancing and managing family relationships and knows intuitively if something won't work.

@ilikepancakes2368

11 ай бұрын

⁠​⁠​⁠@@rrteppo Except as a man, I find fishing to be boring. But it’s true we are easily satisfied.

This makes sense... I was HEAD over HEELS for some guy and he was SUPER attracted to me and even dated me while simultaneously saying he was gonna leave and go back to his home state. I thought I could change him (I know, save it) but it was clear no matter how into me he was (and he truly was), he JUST want ready for marriage. He's engaged now, good for him. I could have been the most perfect woman in the world, he was NEVER going to commit to me. It's okay, I've since married a very mature, most awesome guy. ❤️

@the7thousand

5 ай бұрын

Love this! I was in a very similar boat. Guy really liked me so I always thought he’d get it together. Now I know better what to look for in a guy. Words don’t matter- their action does. Glad you found someone that deserves you :)

I’ve also heard a lot of something like this from married men saying that they instantly knew that they would marry their wives when they saw them for the first time. And my husband is also one of them. And I was far from the high value woman at that time when we met 😂 But I sorta demanded him to make our relationship exclusive when he said he didn’t know what we were. I said if you don’t know then I will see other guys. And he said nooo 😂

@katiataggarta1914

4 ай бұрын

“If you don’t know, I will see other guys” 😂👍👍👍

@danilima-fromrio7162

3 ай бұрын

Bravo 😅👏👏👏👏👏😘

@danilima-fromrio7162

3 ай бұрын

​@@katiataggarta1914I just love it ahahaha

@selen5487

Ай бұрын

Yaaay less of a perfect not a high value women story not that this story isn’t perfect but it makes me feel better a story a guy once said he doesn’t know what you guys are and you’re not married

@meghan3835

15 сағат бұрын

👏

There are a few reasons this happens: 1. The new girl fulfills the key aspects of the relationship that were the dealbreakers of the last relationship. (A long relationship can make it painfully obvious what is missing, and you found those things in the new girl.)! 2. You messed up and lost a good girl with the previous girl, and don't want to make that mistake again. 3. You can finally provide properly for the woman you love, and dont want to waste more time. 4. You got older a realised you want marriage/a family where before you thought you never would. 5. You have a connection on a different level with the new girl.

@user-cz9jj2em2v

22 күн бұрын

Pretty sure it was the whole ten years younger thing

The generation of women I grew up around had a few rules: don’t pursue a man ever/always let him call first, don’t sleep with a man until marriage but if you do, wait for marriage to live with him, let a man pay for all dates but pick up the bill occasionally, if you have to guess constantly about whether he cares for you, he probably doesn’t. Most important rule- - A man who wants to marry you will reveal that in about a year.

@selen5487

Ай бұрын

Wow thank you o screenshot that ❤

@user-cz9jj2em2v

22 күн бұрын

LMAO, not now, now it's like Chad, Chad, Chad bro.

@selen5487

22 күн бұрын

@@user-cz9jj2em2v good for Chad

ms brett, you’re absolutely real for this especially the fact that this showed up on NY. Thanks for ur advice :)

There isn’t a “one,” it’s all about commitment. You either choose to love someone, or you don’t. And you either commit, or you don’t. We’re way over complicating this Also, for the record: this is from both partners choosing to put their spouse first, and sometimes that’s hard. But it is possible. Choosing to love someone else is not putting yourself first. And this is very counter cultural, so it’s obvious there’s going to be backlash from people not wanting to do that. It’s not what most have been raised on.

@michellesoria5110

Жыл бұрын

Honestly I disagree. When I met my bf, we both just felt like we wanted each other. I would not commit to anyone but being around him just made me feel like I’d do anything for him and he said he felt the same way towards me. “The one” is the reason you commit, and if they are not the one you simply don’t care enough to commit it just doesn’t feel right.

@megawolfr1986

Жыл бұрын

This right here. There isn't 'the one' there is someone you are really compatible with and then you both put in the work

@infinityslibrarian5969

Жыл бұрын

Being into someone isn't a state of mind you can will yourself into

@gabbygirl9600

Жыл бұрын

@@infinityslibrarian5969 I’m not saying attraction isn’t part of it. But in marriage there are times where you’re going to be extremely frustrated and the attraction isn’t going to be there. Loving someone isn’t just about a feeling that you have. It’s a choice you have to make to put someone before yourself sometimes. I think we’ve lost that idea over the years, and commitment isn’t there like it used to be, which is why the divorce rate is so high in our country. It takes commitment from BOTH partners to continue to choose the other person. The whole “I have a single person out there and I might miss them and marry the wrong person,” is total garbage. That idea originated from a Greco Roman myth, it’s not realistic. I’m not saying I’m cases of cheating or abuse that you have to stay there, that’s not what I’m promoting. But when both people really choose over and over everyday to put their spouse first, it’ll work. That’s what real love is. And everyone is flawed, so it won’t be easy sometimes.

@mikeoxlong3676

Жыл бұрын

But I can't meet women like that. Most of them just want men with money.

I think that being in a serious, long-term relationship gives you a LOT of experience to know what you’re looking for (and what you’re not). I also think celebs are outliers and shouldn’t really be used as a barometer for people in general 🤷‍♀️

@lurkingllama8364

Жыл бұрын

Celebrities should not really be used as a barometer for anything I think.

@houseofhas9355

Жыл бұрын

Celebrity love is fake. It's business deal for power couple career improvement. Also men are different as they age. Why do women not understand this? Does it have to be explain in feeling based way? And a man can tell when a woman wants a party rather than a marriage. MAJOIRTY of modern american women want a wedding rather a marriage. They are not ready but want to be married.

@panda22518

Жыл бұрын

​@@lurkingllama8364lol right

@user-mc6eb3wl8u

Жыл бұрын

Yeah they got a perfect contrast of what they didn't want. Also if one person wants to get married but the other doesn't, it might be because one of those people is a good partner and the other isn't? So the person that is a good partner goes and finds another good partner BAM married. The other does not because they were never a good partner.

@shirin8609

Жыл бұрын

​@@user-mc6eb3wl8u What makes you think Selena was not a good partner? I heard that there were allegations of physical abuse and cheating perpetrated by her boyfriend, but I am unsure if these claims have been corroborated. I do not think it is as simple as 'good' and 'bad' people (though I do admit it is possible).

Thank you for this topic something i find it hard to understand, not only celebrities

I had a frightening realization in my early 30s that all the woman I had been with up until then were either in LTRs or married to the person right after me. In the dark depression era that was my early 30s my brain would taunt me about that and nicknamed myself "stepping stone" That pattern has long since broken, but I have been privy to a number stories from women who this story applies to.

@TokioTE

4 ай бұрын

Wow, you have a wonderful way with words btw, so nicely described. And stepping stone, wow, sometimes I feel like one for my friends and their relationships/friendships...

When the right one comes along, you just know. Dating my spouse made me realize that the natural next step was marriage. Other people I dated before that never gave me that feeling.

@cestlaguy

Жыл бұрын

It sucks when you feel like you’ve found the right one, but they don’t feel that about you

@hnorth5205

Жыл бұрын

Yeah i think women are projecting the classic stereotype of a woman hitting "the wall" at 30 and then settling for whoever theyre with

@7arb-f-15

11 ай бұрын

@@cestlaguywell it sucks but thats life… the decision of marriage and long term commitment only comes from the man.

@cestlaguy

11 ай бұрын

@@7arb-f-15 🥲🥲🥲

@7arb-f-15

11 ай бұрын

@@cestlaguy you shouldn’t worry about it tho. If you are truly wifey material eventually a man will propose to you.

My husband proposed after 5 months because he said he "didn't want to loose me" as he knew I wanted to settle down and start a family. Men treat you the way you allow them to. 19 years and 2 kids later, still together.

@leahhart3585

Жыл бұрын

Word!

@dacripe

Жыл бұрын

Same for me. I proposed to my wife at 6 months and we've been married for 16 years with 2 kids.

@rudys.5503

11 ай бұрын

Congratulations however dating and marrige is so fuck up now that i don't want to get married.

@yomanyomandx5609

11 ай бұрын

​@@rudys.5503 📠

@Gothixarchitecture

11 ай бұрын

@@CaptainDarrick please look past it spell check warrior

needed to hear this

The “home” scene was great! Good job editor

I have experienced this firsthand. I (22m) was engaged to my last girlfriend (20f) because I insisted that we get married and eventually she relented. But, she delayed our wedding, and eventually broke off the engagement. The entire time I thought I was being the bigger person by sticking around no matter what she did. The words in that article are harsh, but true. I didn’t value myself enough to tell her no, and eventually the result was me getting hurt while she moved on and got engaged to another man.

@dakotaelliott1726

Жыл бұрын

As a fellow 22 year old in a similar boat, I get it and we're better for it my friend.

I did this. Was left alone at the alter, she never showed. Was devastated. Married the next girl who talked to me and married her after knowing her for only 4 months. Best decision of my life, 18 years still married, 3 kids.

@aladdout9454

2 ай бұрын

omgg you're Ted Mosby

@Psychiatricnerd

2 ай бұрын

Wow I’m glad you found the love of your life albeit unconventionally.

Very inspiring, thank you for this great video! 🙏🏽

I firmly believe and always have that timing is everything!

Something Brett doesn't mention that could be a reason why "men marry the next girl" is because they learned from their last relationship what they want and don't. Then they become picky about the next girl girl they date. And when they find someone that matches their new, more narrow criteria for a partner, they settle down because they feel like they've struck gold. This is exactly what happened to me anyway. Long term relationship ended, I learned from that what I want in a relationship. And then I got married when I found someone who fit.

@lilmaggie13

11 ай бұрын

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

@samuelakowuahnimoh8267

9 ай бұрын

💯

@belleccino

8 ай бұрын

Yeah this makes more sense 😊

@OkMaRcOs11

8 ай бұрын

But did you atleast love the person yo were in long term rationship with or were you just using them to figuere out what you wanted . Because it almost sounds like you used them a test dummy😅

@j.d.5626

7 ай бұрын

You´re totally on point, that has been my experience. I am a guy and I married the next one. Since I learned from my mistakes and I know what I was looking for.

We don’t just marry the “one in front of us.” We marry the “most marriable” one in front of us when we decide it’s time to marry.

@man-observing-world

11 ай бұрын

Great point

@Venomx-nb1jr

11 ай бұрын

I mean women are also responsible on the timing aspect. This happened to me. I had a best friend I thought I was going to end up with for several years but she eventually got tired of me not moving fast enough for her and she moved back home and found someone ready to settle down and picked him. So then I technically married the next girl after her because she got tired of waiting on me and married someone else.

@m.935

11 ай бұрын

That´s still exploitative and narcissistic that you use women as objects knowing you don´t want to commit to them. It is a downfall of our society. I pray my son grows up into an honorable man, not a slave to his pleasure and bad leader of others weaker than him.

@VitorHugoOliveiraSousa

11 ай бұрын

@@m.935 LOL why are you taking the agency and responsibilities of those women involved in those causal sexual relationships? Why are you treating them like children? You are gonna create a weak beta male that will be used and exploited by women, and will spent most of his adult life as a incel.

@aclark903

11 ай бұрын

@@m.935 A woman who gives it all up to a man before marriage has only herself to blame if she gets hurt.

This was one of the best videos on relationships i have ever seen!

Great job breaking this down! You get what you settle for!

I am the ex who was replaced with another woman that he is marrying. To say it sucks is an understatement. It ripped me apart. Not only the time wasted but the insecurity it caused. At first, my dreams were filled with him and her. Simple things like watching a movie, holding hands, and having a baby. They filled my nightmares and made me wake up crying. Lately, my dreams have been acceptance. My last one I was at their wedding and raised a glass to her saying she was the luckiest woman to have found him and to take care of him. I have come to realize it wasn't the new woman that was better than myself it was she was a better match for him. I may walk down the aisle one day and get a man to say the two words my ex couldn't to me or I may not but that it in no way means the new woman is less than me. She deserves her happiness as well.

@varamaur9567

11 ай бұрын

All the best!

@deannalowman2299

11 ай бұрын

@Anna-pt3gr you are not alone. It is the worst heartbreak I ever went through, but there is healing ahead for you, too.

@rogerhuggettjr.7675

11 ай бұрын

I dated two great girls in high school who I could have married and would have been very happy with I'm sure. Because I screwed up good things by getting bored, I married the next one at 19 to prevent screwing it up and she was the wrong one. 3 great kids and 9 years later I would have loved it if either were available, but people tend to miss what they have. Hope for you is that girl I broke up with after junior year met her doctor husband of 35+ years now and they have 3 beautiful daughters and a great life.

@oliverpolden

11 ай бұрын

This is how I feel about my ex. She is truly a great person, lovely and makes a great partner. In a lot of ways we were a great match, but just not a complete match. So yes, the person I marry will not be better than her, just a better match. After all, one of the reasons I decided to break up with her was because I know I couldn't be to her what she deserved.

@fayolasaunders6342

11 ай бұрын

This reminds me of my friend telling me, "you can be the full package, but just at the wrong address". Everyone is not for everyone. It is painful not to be seen as the most compatible person with someone you love deeply. However, if one person can sense there is incompatibility it is better in the long run that they end the relationship

I guess I'm the "Next Girl" because my boyfriend wanted a committed relationship, so did I, we were both in long term relationships that we thought was "the one" and got cheated on. We talked about our intentions of finding a long term partner, to be married and have kids, on the first date. The problem is that these people weren't with someone who had enough of these discussions with them, if they were both serious they would've gotten married. Period. A lot of Gen Z meets a partner who likes to play games, they think one day we'll grow up and my partner will change their ways. Don't trust that theory, if someone can't commit in the beginning then they can't commit at all. Go let them be with an OF model instead. ❤

@karlvonboldt

Жыл бұрын

A man gets married when his girlfriend tells him to!😂

@elijahwoods9078

Жыл бұрын

No way this is real

@Bubblereeds

Жыл бұрын

Thank you ❤

@levii6126

Жыл бұрын

@@karlvonboldt People should get married when they both want to

@levii6126

Жыл бұрын

@@elijahwoods9078 It can be if you work for it

THANK U SM I NEEDED THIS SM ✨

A friend explained commitment like this… “ let’s say you have 100 years on earth. Every year you spend w someone is 1% of your life. Be mindful who you give those % to. Is that person you’re with worth 1%, 2%, 3%, etc? If they are then just commit & get married. If not keep it pushing.”

Hi Brett, I am a 16 year old girl living in the Midwest, and I just want to say how much I appreciate your content. You are one of my biggest role models and I love your honest, factual reports about culture. I also relate to your experiences a lot so I love that someone near my age is able to have an amazing career like yours.

@Smile-uu2yg

Жыл бұрын

I wonder if she actually reads these comments, hopefully she does.

@harharharharharharharharha240

Жыл бұрын

@EmperorTalpa “🤓”

@mssophiad03

Жыл бұрын

@EmperorTalpa why do u say that

@Smile-uu2yg

Жыл бұрын

@EmperorTalpa kids are a lot smarter than people give them credit for. I've seen an 8 year old kid have a legitimate conversation with a fully grown adult.

@Mugiwara350

Жыл бұрын

@EmperorTalpa bro I passed calculus exam at the age of 13 in my nation , with 90% score( I am a guy btw)

I was "the next woman" for my husband. I asked him why he didn't marry the girl before, and he answered without a pause. You try to give, and all she ever wanted to do was take.

@tylerdurden3722

11 ай бұрын

Same for me. Even something as simple as a girl trying to put more effort in trying to make me laugh (successfully as a bonus), than me doing my usual thing when trying to make a girl laugh (while making it seem as if I'm not even trying)...which is expected from a guy. It was almost a strange feeling when I experienced this twighlight zone moment with my wife.

@saga2828

11 ай бұрын

I was the ,,first girl", definitely gave him a lot, cared for him, was with him during hard times and when the hard times got better he chose the ,,next girl" and probably told her I was not giving and she is lolol. I regret doing so much for him. I wasted 4 years insted of just having fun and doing what I wanted to do.

@lindseycrittendon7883

11 ай бұрын

@@saga2828 I knew the first girl, and I can confirm what he said was true, because she was extremely selfish and treated everyone from friends to her parents as resources. For example, they saw each other for 4 years, but after he broke up with her, he was single for 2 years... 2 entire years... She was in a new relationship the next day, and she has continued that pattern for about 25 years now. She uses a guy until he gets fed up, and he breaks up with her...but she's already in a new relationship the next day. But I'm sure if you were to ask her, she'd give a response similar to yours. I understand there are bad people, but let's not act like all of one gender is bad, be it male or female. If this is something that keeps happening to you, what is the common denominator in that problem? It would be you.

@saga2828

11 ай бұрын

@@lindseycrittendon7883 yeah, I know there are mamy cases like that, of course and good for him for finding someone better. But it is also often that guys are just ungrateful for the first girl and only realize they need to step up with the next one.

@laclochard

11 ай бұрын

That case you mentioned should be the normal thing. But the usual is the man has a woman who builds him up and then he tosses her out when he thinks he can get a woman who is prettier, has a better job, etc

You dissected this perfectly, thank you

My ex and I dated for 5 years. Within months of breaking up, we both were in new relationships and we both had a child. I recently just found that information out. It’s so weird in a positive way, talking for so long about our future family and now we’re living it out at the same time but completely separate. Edit: what I meant by finding that information out is that, I didn’t know at the time I was with my boyfriend and pregnant, he was also engaged and his fiancé was pregnant.

This is why I’ve tried to teach my two adult sons to treat EVERY girl they’re dating like she’s absolutely wife material. It has made them a little pickier for decency, ladylike qualities, & a great future mother of their prospective children. Dating then becomes quite more respectful & truthful. They also avoid some pointless situations. It saves young potentials from feeling used. Respect for one’s Creator, self & others is tantamount to free love & “do what thou whilst” attitudes.

@RanchMamaFox

11 ай бұрын

YES! 💯👏 So glad I'm not the only mom like this!! I told my teenage sons to wait for sex until they're with a girl who is worthy of being their wife and the mother of their children. And when they find her, treat her with the respect they'd want their mother treated with. My oldest is 17 and still hasn't had a girlfriend, because he hasn't found the one. I teach my 12yo daughter (who's a knockout already and has boys drooling) to be picky, wait for the one who's a true gentleman and worthy of her time... the one who loves her authentically. She's still so young, but kids these days are being hypersexualized to the point they're moving way too fast, and I don't want to see her get roped into that. So important to raise them right - now more than ever!!❤

@kellyemontana62

11 ай бұрын

There are so many creepy undertones here that I can't articulate how much it makes my skin crawl.

@RanchMamaFox

11 ай бұрын

@@kellyemontana62 I'm not sure how it's creepy to teach your boys to be respectful to girls, and teach your girls they're worthy of respect.🤔 If raising kids who don't grow up to treat their partners like they're disposable and instead look for an authentic connection makes your skin crawl, I would genuinely like to know why.

@Sourwhatup

11 ай бұрын

Yup and this is literally what dating is for, looking for a spouse. I hate the "dating for fun" approach. Such a stupid way to break your bond pairing.

@copperwopper6429

11 ай бұрын

@@RanchMamaFox why are they worthy of respect? How Did they earn it? Are the boys not worthy of respect also if it's just given out freely? Why not teach the girls to respect men? Seems like your type of teaching is exactually why dating is so shitty now. Maybe try teaching both to respect themselves, and respect others until they lose that privledge then don't waste another second on them. Teach the boys how to treat a woman and the girls how to treat a man. Teach both to have honor and not to just expect things because they are girls. And why not teach them respect is earned not given

This can happen for several reasons: 1.The two date for a long time but aren't fundamentally compatible as partners, but they continue dating because they cling to the hope that they will be and that something will change that will make the fully marriageable. It never does but this causes the relationship to drag on. 2. Men tend to be less selective earlier in their life so many men get into relationships young with women they aren't compatible with. After a long relationship they tend to be a little bit older and better at selecting a compatible partner. 3. Men tend to look for different qualities for dating vs marriage. He might date just because she is hot but when he starts thinking of marriage he starts looking for a different set of qualities which she might not meet. Men tend to show this selection by simply not escalating the relationship and letting it ''drift''. 4. By the time they have broken up he has thought alot about why he didn't want to marry her and is therefore very aware of the type of woman he actually does want to marry. His selection after that tends to be a lot more in line with who he actually wants to marry and therefore is more likely to result in marriage.

@_Dovar_

11 ай бұрын

Amendment to point 3. - not 'different' qualities as such, but rather 'additional' qualities. Hotness and physical beauty are always a major factor, though not always the decisive one. Source: I'm a man.

@MalloryNewcomb

11 ай бұрын

@@_Dovar_Correct. For many people as you get older your needs in a relationship are complex and deeper. You have more you need in a partner

@bbudimanalqodri

11 ай бұрын

Maybe one more... The guy is already exausted with the long date which going nowhere and they want to end this journey and find the right and act.

@Fuzzy.Wuzzy45

10 ай бұрын

@@_Dovar_ agreed

@Ohio_Greg

10 ай бұрын

#1 how I feel about my current job.

Just recently married and photographers usually do an interview to the couple. This is to help in what aspects to cover in the photoshoot and what to highlight about the relationship of the groom and bride.

This was a really good one and I loved how you didn't only focus on just the men doing this. My bf and I have been dating for 7 years and still aren't married but neither of us need to take that step to stay together because we have already commited the rest of our lives to eachother. If marriage is a must then yeah, don't wait forever. Otherwise marriage is just a piece of paper and the 10 year "wait" shouldn't really factor in to dedicating your whole life to someone. Of course you were there for 10 years. You were intending to be there forever. Completely my own take and I hope everyone gets the love ending they want in life, married or not ❤

In my opinion (as a married woman in my late 20s), there is no reason to date someone longer than 2 years once you are over 21. Either get married or move on. By one year, you should probably be able to tell if this is someone you can see yourself marrying. Dragging it out longer than 2 years can be setting up one of you for heartbreak.

@lindao.ezenwammadu7056

Жыл бұрын

Gbam! On point

@kristinewberg7656

Жыл бұрын

I totally agree with this, with a caveat. If the two of them are both purposefully dating towards marriage, and they both know that is the goal, a year is plenty of time to make a decision either to get engaged or break up and move on. The caveat is, that the girl should never ask, "So, are you ever going to propose?" to the guy. "Marriage-talk" should never come from the girl, except for at the very, very beginning to make sure the guy knows she is looking for marriage.

@blacky8987

Жыл бұрын

you dont need to get married for that lol women only see black and white this days goddamn.

@sigmacademy

Жыл бұрын

@cedar.summit Perhaps, but on the other hand, you have people who then go on to date for 10 years, break up, and then one of them marries the next person they meet within weeks or months after meeting. That simply means that person was burning time until he or she met the person he or she REALLY wanted to marry. That also leads to LOTS of bitterness on the part of the partner left behind.

@ygkemosabi8280

Жыл бұрын

In my opinion there is no reason to not date someone for 25 years then either get married or move on. That paperwork is not important. Funny how opinions work huh.

Brett is the only place I get my Hollywood gossip from, because it’s drivel, but she makes something worthwhile out of the “news” of it Thanks Brett

@shirin8609

Жыл бұрын

I really don't like gossip, but I realize that certain elements of our culture thrive on sane people being too disgusted to engage with it and offer some sort of pushback. We have to realize that not all news that happens to be shocking is necessarily "gossip," too.

@davidb9779

Жыл бұрын

Hollywood gossip is stupid regardless and you just simping for Brett

@williampotter2098

Жыл бұрын

Mike Williams You just realize that it is a small harmless guilty pleasure for Brett. She is much to busy and much too hard working to let it really color her thinking. I hate to say how many big bags of popcorn I ate during the Paris Hilton years. LOL

Most people are placeholders or in placeholding relationships before they meet the " one". The trick is to recognise it before it goes on for too long.

I got engaged at 20 to this guy friend of mine, he was 6 years older than I, he liked me so he asked my parents if he can marry me. At that time i wasnt ready, but i said yes because he was a nice guy. We were engaged for 4 years before i ended it. Few month in i knew it wouldnt work , we were fundamentally different and marriage wasnt something i wanted at that time in my life. I tried to end it in year 1 but because both of families were involved it got dragged to 4 years. He got married within few months after we broke up. Fast forward 4 years i still didnt dated anyone. Too afraid to get into a wrong relationship again. Now i am 28 and constantly worried that clock is ticking for me.

I think it comes down to finding the right person. My husband and I were talking about marriage within one month of dating each other. It’s so cliche to say this, but “we just knew.” It was a year before we were officially engaged and at 1.5 years we were married, but the intentions were clear from the start. We had both had long term relationships in the past, but neither of us had been married before. We’ve been married 5 years now, and are expecting our first child.

@lilyjames4634

11 ай бұрын

Glad for you, God bless you🌸

@JW-oo7nb

4 ай бұрын

My husband of 13 years started as friends for 3 years. We dated 6 months had a 2 week engagement. We have had our ups and downs & downs, but that is life. We just get to share it together. For better or worse. We have an 8yo who is the best little guy ever.

@angelinaoliver5587

4 ай бұрын

This is beautiful ❤

@Thedef1

4 ай бұрын

Jonny called it quits with Vanessa Paradis after more than a décade of being together and having kids with her, married the next and boy did he regret it😂

@truehappiness4U

4 ай бұрын

You’re still in your younger years of a relationship. Many divorce after 20 years, most older men cheat on their older wives with a young girl. Now that you have a child let’s see if you and your husband can still stand each other for years. Taking care of children gives stress apparently. Just keep on communicating well with your husband and don’t be angry at each other and you’ll be fine. Or else divorce will be om its way one day

This happened to my husband. He was with his ex for 7 years. He bought her a home and they were engaged. She got pregnant months before their wedding and in order to fit into her dress, she had an abortion. He was very devastated and kicked her out and obviously broke it off. 2 years later we met at a friend's BBQ. We knew it was meant to be within 4 months in. I was 20 he has 29, that was 14 years ago and 6 kids later. He sold the house and we picked another one out.

@louloulou5894

Жыл бұрын

😮 she took a human life just to fit into a dress! Wtf! She gave him no hints that she was planning on doing this before hand? That's terrible. He must of been so heart broken 😔

@jncon8013

Жыл бұрын

WHAT

@serena6276

11 ай бұрын

How could she do something so evil like that! :O

@Elli-xz2ru

11 ай бұрын

@@serena6276 i agree.. someone is struggling to conceive a baby and then someone gets rid of a baby that easily, so sad

@cat-jz7sj

11 ай бұрын

​@@Elli-xz2ru because people have different wants-? What that women did to her husband wasn't a good way of sorting out things at all, but why compare people who obviously want different stuff in their lives-? What somebody else can't get isn't our fault, we don't have to put off doing our on things for what they can't have.

My husband was with his ex for 8 years. They broke up and when he saw me for the first time, (as he tells me over and over again) he said he saw his wife and the mother of his kids. He persued me for months, and 4 months after starting dating he asked me to marry him. Now we are expecting our first baby. He told me (talking about his ex) that he knew he didn’t want to marry her, neither have children with her. I don’t respect when men do that but they actually know pretty soon if they want to marry the woman they have by their side or not. And sometimes they are just with someone until they really find the one. I think all this trend of “he marries the one that has in front” is just a way to make these women who don’t realize that they are in a relationship that goes nowhere, to make them feel better about themselves. (Sorry if my english is not the best, is not my first lenguage) and btw its not my purpose to offend anyone, it’s just something I’ve noted seeing my envoriment (because she is right, this happens a lot) and I’ve recognized this when I met my husband

@estefaniaguedesvieira7717

2 ай бұрын

Coitada dela.

@Taebear374

Ай бұрын

You don't feel slight bit uncomfortable that your husband basically kept a placeholder and wasted 8 years of another woman? He could've have just broke off things wtth her if he wasn't sure.

@silablack6807

Ай бұрын

@@Taebear374 I didn’t know him back then, isn’t it the same asking if it isn’t uncomfortable knowing he was with anyone at all before being with me “back then”?

@Taebear374

Ай бұрын

@@silablack6807 ​ I am talking about him. His actions. It doesn't matter whether you knew him at that time or not. Your partner doing such a thing to someone else isn't a matter of concern to you? Maybe not a dealbreaker but still enough to hesitate a bit. No wonder men leave such a long relationship with 0 empathy because they know another woman will definitely accept them and their past with no consequences. I guess everyone is different. I can never be with someone who is that insensitive to others. But you do you. Good Luck.

@momoslover4179

Ай бұрын

​@@Taebear374 yup all these cmnts being proud of how their hubby chose them makes me laugh and bad for girls who were left out

This is great!

My ex and I broke up a few months ago for this reason. I wanted to get married, and she did not. It really bites because we were together for 3 years, and I was going to propose this year around Christmas (she had asked me to wait till she was done her nursing schooling, and since I respected her, I agreed). Getting out of that relationship hurt a lot, but I am better for it. The upholding your standards bit is good for women and MEN to do. Don't compromise for people who aren't willing to commit.

@TheBaumcm

11 ай бұрын

You’ll find your way. It sucks but can you imagine if you had tried to create a life on making it work? I had planned on a life with my college sweetheart, dated for almost 7 years and engaged for 2, but he started shifting his work so we didn’t have any time together, after I moved across the country for his work, leaving a job I absolutely loved. I just didn’t want to see that I didn’t have a real partner but hindsight. He bought a motorcycle without even mentioning it first, switched his days off to the middle of the week while I taught, etc. He just really couldn’t handle conflict and while I was heart broken, I also had to take the rose colored glasses off and really take an honest look.

@throbbinwoodofcoxley6830

11 ай бұрын

@@TheBaumcm you know he was cheating, correct? If a guy buys something like a motorcycle and then changes his days off to where you’re not together on said days off, he’s dicking around behind your back. You dodged a bullet. Truth of the matter, he didn’t care about you after you were willing to leave your beloved job and uproot for him. You compromised your life so he thought you’d always be there to walk all over.

@Diego-hr4yj

11 ай бұрын

@@throbbinwoodofcoxley6830 Not everything that may be true needs to be said.

@Law19157

11 ай бұрын

Lesson learned, date with intention and make it known from the start so nobody is wasting their time. Women like to beat around the bush and play games its better to be straight forward.

I couldnt agree more. My now husband and I started dating about 8 years ago and at the time neither of us wanted kids or a family. 4 years in and I realized that I actually did want children and a family. We had a frank conversation and he thought about it for a day or so and decided he wanted a family too. Another 4 years later and we're happily married with our first baby, a beautiful baby girl and planning to buy our first house. Im so glad that we didnt settle and we're both grateful for the life we have now.

@JayUchiha17

Жыл бұрын

It's that simple❤️ Have an adult conversation, make decisions together, and grow. I don't know why people choose the love they think they deserve but not the love they need.

@GordonTurnerr

Жыл бұрын

Kudos to you for using real communication, not dropping weird hints and then getting angry when your man misses them! 🤣

Wholeheartedly agree with this message! Women, raise your standards and don’t wait around for a man who won’t marry you!

@chaoswitch1974

5 ай бұрын

It's because women are afraid to scare men away, so they pretend to be the cool girl instead of the girl who wants to get married and then they get upset that he only keeps her around for s3x for years. Scare them away! When you're on your first date let them know you want kids and to get married!

The assumption of a man just marring the woman in front of him is 100% bullshit.

I left my ex because he couldn’t get over his potential relationship with a girl from college. She was a literal beauty queen and after 3 years he said something at an event that flipped a switch in me. Despite his family and friends loving us together and pushing for marriage and me being a totally chill and unproblematic partner - I wasn’t his type and frankly, he wasn’t mine. I found I was better alone at this point in time. As heartbreaking as it is to kill so much time with the wrong one, I have faith that at some point, I’ll find the right one.

@stonerbaby895

Жыл бұрын

You will find the one and you should be proud of yourself that you had standards and refused to be with someone who was still pining for someone else I knew a girl who was in the same situation but she married him and trust me when I say it didn't get better he started comparing them more and more and it got worse you had standards you should be proud of that!

@nicknevco215

Жыл бұрын

creepy

@Prismalpink

Жыл бұрын

@@stonerbaby895 it’s weird that some people will force themselves to like another person like that. If someone hasn’t gotten over someone they shouldn’t break another person’s heart.

@Gintoki_Madao

11 ай бұрын

"And frankly, he wasn't mine" Doesn't that make you a hypocrite

@HaleyHeathMusic

11 ай бұрын

@@Gintoki_Madao no, I learned that he wasn’t a good fit for me over time, unfortunately.

Don't marry for love. It doesn't hurt to be in love, but don't marry just because you love someone. Just because you love someone doesn't mean you complement each other and it definitely doesn't mean you are compatible.

@Lilyium

11 ай бұрын

Love is like a want. You just want the idea and the person, but it may not be what you actually need.

@TheSentryRob

11 ай бұрын

@@Lilyium precisely

The eyeliner slays 🌟

I love your makeup! You slayyy!!

my longest relationship was 6 months before I got married. I told everyone I dated that this is to see if we are marriage material. I didn't have sex with any of them it was just emotional connections. I knew after a month that my wife was who I wanted to marry. we have been together for 14 years and it's never a dull moment. if it takes someone more than a year (unless they have been married before) it's probably not going to work out.

@shayalynn

11 ай бұрын

I’m happy for you!! God bless you both.

@prejo

11 ай бұрын

I'd say more than 5 years

@ammaliapodlaszewska1298

11 ай бұрын

Congratulation! Similar story as mine. When i first met my husband 13 years ago, our intention was clear from the get go for us to get married and committed to each other and creating a family. I said to him that i was not interested in dating and let's figure things out if we were fundamentally compatible in terms of life's value. 5 months later we got married. We are having 3 daughters now 🙂

@maryklatka5989

11 ай бұрын

@darkside8535 I wholeheartedly agree that it does not take long to know if it's right between two people. I think you have to know yourself and what you want. My husband says he knew how he felt very quickly. For my part, I have never felt such a strong connection with anyone. We're not naive kids; I was widowed for 5 years and he's been married and divorced. We know what we're promising to one another. This is for life. We were married a year after our first date.

@nathanielzoelle

11 ай бұрын

@darkside8535, what if both parties are still pretty young and want to take their time?

Based on my experiences, I would suggest 3 things to young single people in the dating world: 1) be specific about what you want from a potential spouse; 2) decide upfront what you can't tolerate; 3) talk about marriage early in a relationship. I asked my wife if she was marriage-minded a month after we first met and had only been on 3 dates. I was clear that it wasn't a proposal, but I needed to know that she was at least open to the idea of being married. When she indicated that she was hoping to be married again (we were both divorced), then I told her my "dirt". I was starting to fall for her right after we met, and I didn't want to get my heart drug through the mud. So if this relationship wasn't going to work out, I wanted to know as soon as possible. Honorable mention: Realize right now that there is no such thing as a soulmate or "the one" (that's Hollywood bs) and chemistry is way overrated. The idea of a soulmate and chemistry is a convenient excuse to leave your brain out of deciding on a partner.

@killuamybb6411

11 ай бұрын

Best relationship advice

@rebecaanderson1935

11 ай бұрын

I believe in soul mate, just not the way people think. I believe before this life me and my husband chose each other, yet we have free agency to change plans in this life, we could have chose to marry someone else. Also that doesn’t mean is all easy and we have all in common. We have our most important values as common things, but we are very different in most things. We have our challenges and our marriage isn’t perfect. Yet I know we chose each other before we were born.

@64bitUnity

11 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing!

@jenniferadriana5934

10 ай бұрын

Chemistry is sharing values on the same wevelwngth. That frequency energy between you both is chemistry. Her being able to calm your soul, give you love that is all chemistry. You may not be able to feel it as an empath does but it does exist. There’s just a lot more to it then this.

@ravenlee8221

9 ай бұрын

Well i think every person is different has different life paths and lesson's to learn some people are destined to be in a loving relationship and some people aren't maybe their life purpose is their career life or spirituality and helping others.

Your editing is funny. I like the cat scrolling

A lot of guys will waste ladies time by telling them to “wait and see where it goes even after 6 months have passed.” This is why never stick around for guys.

I feel like people are making this way more complicated than it needs to be

@Strobobel

Жыл бұрын

Welcome to the internet lol

@TheSageSpartan

Жыл бұрын

@@Strobobel *welcome to women

@j____397

Жыл бұрын

@@TheSageSpartan welcome to men

@XxLostFinalGirlxX

Жыл бұрын

@@j____397 welcome to men AND women

@daddynanners3944

Жыл бұрын

@@j____397 you say that while not remembering the title of the video you’re on.

This conclusion is SPOT on. My husband married me because I was wife material and what he was looking for in a companion. Period. I also had high standards and wanted marriage which he knew from the beginning. If women want commitment and they're not getting it, they should hold to their standards and walk away. The 'right one' really just means the one that CHOOSES you! *I'll add that I have definitely dated at least one other guy that I wanted but didn't want me or to commit to me. That taught me a huge lesson about not wasting time. He wasn't worth it. I didn't have to try to get my husband to want me. He just did from the beginning. And I stopped wasting time with all the others. That's really the answer. Don't waste your time.

@BleuBelair

7 ай бұрын

Oookay….What if the woman wants commitment but is definitely NOT wifey material. Do you just break up with her immediately?

@lol_youre_mad

7 ай бұрын

@@BleuBelair why are you with her to begin with, that's not even helping you financially.

@ngndnd

6 ай бұрын

@@BleuBelairthen youre wasting both of your times if u dont want to spend the rest of ur life with her

Also a very important point: Many people have troubles with being alone, therefore they get into a relationship to be withsomeone --- already knowing that this is only temporary until they meet someone who really means a lot to them. Happened to friends of mine - male and female. It's very common!

No... Just, no. We do not miraculously become "ready" and then marry the next girl that arbitrarily comes along. For every woman that's ever gotten married, there's a woman before her calling her the "next girl."

YES! I'm 17 (not dating yet) and I plan on telling the guy's I go on dates with from the get go that I'm dating for marriage. I feel like that won't only save me a lot of heartbreak, but also just get me to the one faster. Also, my parents dated for three years, had an argument about something stupid and broke up for a few months. In those few months my Dad dated another woman and got engaged. My Mom heard about it and called him, told him she is still in love with him and they were married a year later. Now they are celebrating their 36th wedding anniversary this month, they have three children, two on earth and one with God. They are seriously what I look up to when it comes to love and my Dad is the reason my standards are so high. He has shown me what a husband and man of God looks like, that's what I'm looking for.

@lindao.ezenwammadu7056

Жыл бұрын

Please let them know 😊. Some will try to make u feel bad but don’t settle.

@daemonsadi4964

Жыл бұрын

Totally the right way to go about it. I also second the whole not putting out sex part. While I would advise just straight up not having sex before marriage, at least make the dude stick around for 6+ months and or propose first. I still recommend just not having sex before marriage more, but if you at least give the appearance of not putting out you can weed out the losers who are not ready for a serious relationship.

@threearrows2248

Жыл бұрын

Yes! I wasn't raised like this, but by God's grace my husband and I were ready for marriage and a family when we met, we just didn't know it until we met. I'm raising my children this way and Lord willing, they'll be serious about relationships when they begin dating. Praying that you have a beautiful family one day!

@scienceproducts439

Жыл бұрын

You dating or marriage or not nobody care because, its the men who have to MARRY YOU. He had to be finacial, emotional, etc ready, yall women just need to not have a shitty attitude. and yet still blaming Men

@benjamindouglas862

Жыл бұрын

​@@SookaNooka would you buy a car without a test drive? Personally my advice is never marry anyone you don't live with first.

this is the first video i’ve watched of yours and i absolutely feel like a) we would be besties irl and b) you should do a ted talk series because everything you said i was screaming agreeing with and couldn’t be happier to find someone who has the same perspective on this 🩷🩷🩷😊

FINALLY someone said it!! Every single time I hear stories like this I always think, "The real question is WHY did the ex allow someone to waste 4, 6, 8 years of her life??" That's giving low self-esteem vibes.

@kinj5422

11 ай бұрын

Thats giving „i think liberal approach to relationships can actually work …and miraculously lead to a conservative concept that is marriage “ vibes 😂

@SharkAcademy

11 ай бұрын

What I still don’t get about the mindset of “he wasted 5, 8, 10 years of her life”. Why is it a waste and why is it only her time wasted? He was also in that relationship. Was there not love and good moments that were had during those years? Would it have been different if they had married and then divorced after 10 years, would it still have been time wasted, and who’s? Whoever didn’t call the divorce? We know women ask for a divorce nearly 80% of the time, are they wasting all those men’s years?

@shooklizard9039

11 ай бұрын

Because they love that person and see a future and waiting for the ring

@brusso456

11 ай бұрын

The real question is WHY do women who want children, waste their fertile years getting a degree and a job, when they could have gotten married and have kids? women who tell their boyfriends that their priority is a degree and a job, get a guy who will hang around until he can find a woman who will actually commit to him (by having children).

@TheLordNovo

11 ай бұрын

It also just looks like a woman cope to be telling yourself ‘I dated him for 9 years and we broke up, but the next girl he married after barely a year. Clearly I was the better option.’ If you were the better option, you’d be the wife rn, not the ex. People need to just look at reality and see that there’s nothing wrong with admitting someone wasn’t right for you. That’s just how life works

I 100% agree with you. That theory is so annoying. I'm a wedding photographer and am selective with my couples (if the vibe is off or they seem not to truly love each other, ofc I could be wrong, but certain interactions are def a tell-tale sign it's not a healthy and loving relationship), and they range from people who got engaged within a year or two, to high school or college sweethearts who got married after 10 years of being together. I do need to note here that in my country, it's rare for people to get married before their later 20s or general 30s, and almost nobody gets married before they finish college and have worked for a while (because I know the US has quite a lot of people marrying in their early 20s)

This is the reason why people should have a healthy talk about intention within 2 years into the relationship. It is about communication and action

Best piece of advice I’ve ever heard: you only need 6 months or less to know if they’re the one. You don’t need 10 years, or even 5. My husband and I both knew right away.

@leramda9

7 ай бұрын

Maybe that worked for you. See again everyone compares to their own experience rather than seeing the pattern!

when i was dating my husband, i saw somewhere where a study says it takes 2 years to get to know someone so he had 2 years to propose but i wasnt holding him to a date to be married. i just said he should know by then 🤷‍♀️. He chose to ask sooner at 1.5 years without pressure. He also wanted to be married and have children. Our goals matched.

@daemonsadi4964

Жыл бұрын

I didn’t ask until almost 3 years. I knew I wanted her to be my wife in 2 weeks. I was having the custom ring made by a year and a half. I decided if she didn’t do the same thing my exes did and turn crazy near the three year mark I would ask her to marry me. We now have 2 beautiful daughters and a happy home.

@threearrows2248

Жыл бұрын

Lol my husband and I met in January, started dating in March, and were married in August. 10 years later and we just had baby #4, have a business together, and still love hanging out with each other. When you know, you know.

As someone who went through the same thing as Vanessa, this couldn't be anymore true.

Thank you