Story 1: a lot of times what hurts isn’t losing the parent but losing the idea of what you wanted him to be.

They should have hired the father to play at the wedding, he might have attended if contractually required to, lol.

@nataliereeves3594

4 ай бұрын

He had some neve asking for pictures when he couldn't be bothered to show up. He probably only wanted them for his social media to make him look like a dad when he isn't one.

story 2 sounds like the perfect study for incompatibility

@PsychoMachado

4 ай бұрын

True. But I gotta say, OP was an AH for complaining about how his wife liked going out and talking to people, to her face. "...or have so many friends, or go to parties. I asked what valuable fulfilment it gave her, in her heart, and why it made her feel good to smear on make up, put on a dress, and go converse with people(...) When she tried to explain the pleasure she got from being an extrovert she only sounded egotistical and shallow. She realized how she sounded and got frustrated with me". She got frustrated because he was belittling her for her way of living or how she felt when talking to other people. She realized that he would always judge her for being friendly to other people. The wife is an AH for cheating, but he pushed her away.

@okhoward1942

4 ай бұрын

@@PsychoMachado agreed. His wife was definitely in the wrong, but the fact that he couldn’t understand why she needed anything in life aside from spending time with him is narrow-minded, and tbh sounds kind of unhealthy.

@PsychoMachado

4 ай бұрын

@@okhoward1942 not just not understand, but he was judging her for it. "Smear on makeup" tells enough

@FroggyGirlDreams

4 ай бұрын

​@okhoward1942 yeah he definitely sounds like a douche who belittled her for being an extrovert. She's a scumbag for being a cheater.

@G1sandG1rlsGaming

4 ай бұрын

@@PsychoMachado I think we're kind of being a little hard on him. They were clearly 2 different people so of course they were never going to understand each other. It also clearly wasn't her being friendly with other people that he had trouble with, but the pure fact that she was addicted to receiving attention from others which she literally proved that same night. We can't sit here and pretend like just because she was annoyed at what he said that excused her actions in any way. If he was wrong, why did she immediately seek companionship in a stranger? I'm not about to judge this guy who tried everything in his power to show his love for his wife only to be stabbed in the back, just like I'm not about to call the girl from the first story selfish for trying everything in her power to have an actual relationship with their father only to be met with insults and yelling.

At that point, you can't convince me that it's not intentional... what a horrible excuse for a sperm donor.

@ianmoritzplatapino3684

4 ай бұрын

Op gave him too many opportunities, the moment he bailed on her wedding she should've gone NC and close the door. Selfish people like him don't change, so why waste time and effort on him

Story 2: actions have consequences... who would've thought it?

@ianmoritzplatapino3684

4 ай бұрын

Well she didn't, and that's why she is divorced and alone.

@Maninawig

4 ай бұрын

The one thing I can't get is how she can do what she did without an affair fog. If she had one, she'd be defending the AP not OP.

The guy in the 2nd story seems to just not fit in that relationship to begin with tbh. They clearly have completely different mindsets. If i had a wife with his mindset i would almost certainly end things. Not an excuse to cheating but i mean fuck man that did not sound like a healthy long term thing

Unfortunately at some point in some people’s lives we have to come to the understanding and truth that one or more of our parents will never truly be the parent we deserve, need , or want . At that point we need to step back and decide oh much or little contact that , that parent will have in our lives . It in no way is our fault but we must at some time protect our selfs and our families. The chance someone will change is unlike . And putting your self out to be hurt and let down takes it toll on a person . Sometimes you just have to put your self first to perfect your heart and soul .

@bpaul1201awesome

3 ай бұрын

beautifully said and on point! Ive had to go LC or NC with both of my bio parents to protect myself and family from the nonsense.

RE: Story 1 - If he's a relatively successful musician, the success can feed their ego a little and lead to a little bit of egomania. This makes the individual focus more on themselves and their accomplishments, even viewing others successes that are related to them as their own. It makes interpersonal relationships strained as they can't see that they are doing anything wrong and it's always other peoples fault. If you point out flaws to someone with a big ego, then you're attacking their entire belief structure and they will just take it personally.

I'm not condoning the cheating, cuz that's always awful and unforgivable, but it sounds like the husband was way out of line asking her why she needed to have friends when she had him. He even implies that her extroverted behavior shouldn't make her happy, only he should. Whether he realizes it or not, that is textbook manipulative behavior and something I've experienced myself.

@HazeyClarity

4 ай бұрын

I think you've misunderstood what he asked, he asker what about having all those friends made her happy when around him she wasn't

@devilishpie

4 ай бұрын

He was fine with her having friends, but so many? Always going out partying, staying overnight in other people's houses, etc.?

@emanuel6233

4 ай бұрын

They clearly just had completely different mentalities. If i had a wife with that typa mentality i woulda broken up for sure. Not saying the cheating part was okay but honestly i really don't think these people shoulda been a couple to begin with

@Maninawig

4 ай бұрын

Here's where I might be the AH. I have heard so many conversations from extroverted people wondering how introverted people can "be so depressed all the time" and introverted people asking extroverted people why they "seek so much validation" that I took what he said more at face value. Like in the convos above, they were sincerely unable to understand the other's point of view and spoke through the bıas of what it takes them to gain the same results. In short, I took his saying as general bafflement and curiosity more than insulting digs.

@Maninawig

4 ай бұрын

​@@emanuel6233 have you heard the saying "behind every great man, there's a great woman"? I have actually seen this work with highly successful couples. The husband is the typical workhorse whose happiest solving problems in his workshop, the wife is a socialite who uses her extroverted nature to win over new clients (often by befriending their wives). Being a team, they are loyal to each other and work hard on their communication so both feel satisfied. He'll join her on some trips, and pay for her sisters/cousins/etc to join her on others. It is a lot of work and takes both parties to consider the other, but it can work.

I mean my parents did miss one of my milestones and I berated them, that "you are ungrateful" argument came up and I simply looked into my dad's eyes straight, stared into his soul and told "Cut the bullshit, such a b*tch argument... I didn't ask to be born right? You both created me, now asking you to accomplish one of the key missions of being a parent is me being ungrateful? Are you braindead?" Yes, I disrespect my parents when they disrespect me, that's how our relationship was since my puberty because I realized you should treat everyone the way they treat you, and it worked all the time. Seriously, no matter who they are if they get physical with you get physical with them, they talk shit - talk shit back. A while later we apologized and hugged each other and never talked about that fight ever again because even though they are not perfect my parents are FAR FAR FAR FAR better human beings and great parents than these sad excuse of heaps of rotting flesh in these stories.

@Lovedancing2024

4 ай бұрын

I wish I had the confidence to say something like that to my parents I am so happy that u stood up for yourself. THAT IS SO AMAZING 😊

@silvermoon9186

4 ай бұрын

good on you, I had to learn to overcome my fear of abandonment before I could do as you do. I always walked on eggshells around my dad because I had already been abandoned by my mom over drugs and my almost stepmom. Now I call my dad out and we've been able to talk to eachother as equals.

@silvermoon9186

4 ай бұрын

@@Lovedancing2024 it is very hard to gain that confidence, I struggled and without my husband I don't know if I ever would have been able to. from my experience I personally needed unwavering support, reassurance, and time.

Some parents will only provide you money and then complain about their kids only using them as ATM. Well if money is all you got, then money is all I want.

For story 1, he never planned on being at the wedding.

Story 1: Once a doormat, will always be doormat. OP still doesn't hav spine. And a brat.

Story 2: “I don’t understand what she gets out of smearing on makeup and talking to other without me.” WOW that sounds so demeaning for no reason? No excuse for cheating but dude sounds unbearable. He sounds really judgy and unable to understand why people just don’t do what he likes. “She refuse to change her perspective” her and OP sound like a match made in hell the way they both are self center and unable to change.

@Virtuoso242

4 ай бұрын

he didnt say anything about talking to others without him in that sentence, you left out the important context about him saying that not to be rude not to demean but because he didnt understand, you isolate things and of course they will seem bad isolated.

awww! the god daughter walking her down the aisle

Story one sounds just like my father.... 😶 That one hit home....

@SasoriSama47

4 ай бұрын

Same here. Specially that part of him not seeing me as a person but just as a extension of himself.

@silvermoon9186

4 ай бұрын

it reminded me of mine but in some aspects made me grateful for what I got. I'm sorry that you or anyone else ever has to deal with a parent like that.

Story 1: OP is doormat all her life whn she knew her dad doesn't care enough abt OP or her feelings...... Wats the point if she has to force' her DAD to do it.. whn he clearly dont wanna...

Story 1; he does NOY love you; Cut contact with your narcissitic father completely; he has not earned anything... and just being an ATM is NOT being a "good father"

...she made friends in public??? yah??? thats what people do??? you gotta make compromises sometimes why are the horses backing yall up? as someone else said, this sound like kinda like ai

@silvermoon9186

4 ай бұрын

horses tend to follow people sometimes. I've had horses follow me when I walked near their feilds. it's part of their herd mentality, plus they seem familiar with people feeding them near camp fires so they were likely looking for food.

I am bit confused why women say that walking down aisle by father is a bad thing as far I know this is way to show that fathers who has to protect their child from the world is giving this responsibility to now fiance of the bride. It has a very big symbolics meaning acoording to many religious books.

@frogsarecooliftheydonteats56

28 күн бұрын

I just want to be clear I'm not exppaing this to be rude I'm just explaining it in a way that can be understood, if seems rude in anyway I didn't intend that. But its because traditionally it is seen as a passing of property. For example (this is a real life example) when my second cousin's father walked her down the aisle at the end when he was handing her away the gist of what he said was that he wasn't responsible for her actions anymore and that that "burden" was now on the groom's shoulders. That is pretty much how that tradition started and why some women don't want that, they aren't property and they shouldn't be seen as such.

Story 2. She is a serial cheater and did this many times before.

Story 1: this is why Eminem is awesome.

Story 1: In this story, I wouldn't call that man a father, just a Man who raised someone for the sake of raising them, and giving them the resources to grow up for simple practicality. This is No Father, Just a Man.

I wondered if she ever just said I love you and you are important to me so I want you to be at this event.

Drinking game for Story 1, when ever the word Berated comes up, take a shot. See how long til the liver fails, lol.

I am 100% sure that second story is some incel's fanfic about why he hates women

who would have guessed. the girl power friends who supported her cheating had no intention of helping her move and the long term friends were furious at her behavior and didnt take her side

Story 1 I stil don’t understand why she doesn’t go NC and still tried to give the dad chances to change when he hasn’t at all for years. She says she loves him when it’s really not. She just hopes too much when there’s been more than enough time for that. Should have gone NC

String version of nothing else matters- ummm okay miss girl...

Have the step dad walk you down the ile and then send dperm donor a pic saying this is what a real father does.

Well she used a Metallica song to walk down the aisle. Maybe her father is Dave Mustane.

Story 2: both husband and wife sound awful. They do and don’t deserve each other at the same time. Husband full of old fashioned, sexist and oppressive views, wife chooses to go to extremes to challenge this.

@blastphantomgames6369

4 ай бұрын

Eh don't really see it I mean you took one emotional changed sentence from someone betrayed by the person trying to coddle him for her betray and just running with it

@emanuel6233

4 ай бұрын

They just seem to have completely different mindsets that are fully incompatible. I mean i bet he can find some woman with the same mindset as him and she can find a man wirh the same mindset as her and there wouldn't be much of a problem. They just really shouldn't be with eachother to begin with tbh

@silvermoon9186

4 ай бұрын

The husband stated facts. he's an introvert he doesn't enjoy going out all the time and she does because she's an extrovert. they just couldn't mix well. you can't just call someone oppressive just because they don't enjoy the same things. she was a writer, that doesn't always pay well if at all, so he supported her with his income. he never tried to stop her from going out and he trusted her. I don't know where you got the "he has sexist views" from. yes he had flaws he should have been more proactive in getting to know about her friends even if he didn't want to go to the parties and meet them. she should have compromised and considered having small gatherings at their home when he had time off. it was a clash of personalities and it didn't work out mostly because she cheated.

story 1: that man was a father not a dad. My own dad was mostly neglectful and yet he still was there for some of my milestones. he made his own schedule too and made sure to be there for my graduation and wedding. he was never a good dad but at least he tried when he thought about it. Story 2: I'm glad he filed for divorce, he deserves better that her if she was going to cheat. who really knows if/how many times she cheated before then. good on him.

4 MINUTES!?

She's from Brazil, that's hella cool. You notice it when she says "nada"

@DarkEinherjar

4 ай бұрын

"Nada" is also a spanish word, so that's not really a confirmation.

@Lollipop_Helo

4 ай бұрын

Eu sou brasileira mas interajo com um monte de gringo na internet, e "nada" significa, bom, Nada, em espanhol também, e os estadunidenses muitas vezes colocam palavras em espanhol no meio das frases do nada, então eu acho q ela não é BR

@FrutoseDeMorango

4 ай бұрын

@@Lollipop_Helo Os que colocam palavras em espanhol no meio das frases são falantes de espanhol. Esqueci que a palavra nada também existe em espanhol porque na hora lembrei no "nadie", mas "nadie" significa ninguém eu acho

@emanuel6233

4 ай бұрын

Bro english speakers will use nada as slang. I mean I'm from sweden and even here we would use that as slang even as kids. Nada is probably one of the most common global slag words out there, so it really means nothing (no pun intended lol) And also, if her mother tongue is portuguese she could also be from portugal, angola, or a bunch of other countries lol

@Zeromegas

4 ай бұрын

That word exist in spanish too. You are shooting in the dark

op is so delusional in Story 1 that she knew who her father is and how toxic and financially abusive he is, and she still thinks she's talking to a reasonable caring person

@droid2645

4 ай бұрын

She is hoping for someone who does not prioritize her. Where is another male member of her family to do the honors. She can't make him care if he doesn't sad to say.

Both husband and wife were awful in story 2 tbf. Wife cheated and husband was on the path of becoming controlling. Sure, he didn't do it yet, but that mindset is a slippery slope. They were clearly just incompatible; no one sounds like a good guy in this situation.

"All she waned was me" survey says, that was a lie

Story 2 sounds like AI written. Why would she want to put on a dress and smear on make-up? No one talks like this.

@silvermoon9186

4 ай бұрын

I've heard plenty of guys saying smear on make-up.

@Extremelybraindeadhumanbeing

4 ай бұрын

@@silvermoon9186I think its more so the “put on a dress” part

2nd story... Quite frankly, as much as an awful person wife is for cheating, and as much as i am introverted and i hate how society tends to see introverts as the "weird ones that needs to be fixed"... OP sounds insufferable. Introvert or not, there's some minimal socialisation you need to do for sanity and if you're in relationship with extrovert... you compromise! Meanwhile OP is like "let me give you a gift... were doing things 100% my way and you're thankful!" I know it doesn't excuse cheating, but god im not surprised that his wife checked out of relationship and stopped "doing things for him".

Idk, story 2 sounds…suspicious, i dont think he’s telling the full story, it sounds like he’s trying to isolate her by making her feel guilty about wanting to socialize with anyone else, like yeah she cheated on him but i think he’s done more that he’s not saying

First story: her dad is Nickleback

@silvermoon9186

4 ай бұрын

🤣🤣🤣

Argh...

Tf

op of story 2 really sees like a boring person

Story 2: The husband sounds like a judgmental dick tbh. I feel they should have divided long ago when neither wanted to compromise on the other’s social needs. She sounds hella selfish for not even considering the fact that her husband is an introvert but at the same time he’s that type of introvert that doesn’t wanna even leave the house and expects their partner to change like why marry and extroverts and and introverts like this if your the exact opposite of them and you won’t compromise The husband is the victim in this situation but not a perfect one, he at least made an effort but the effort was on his terms. The wife is slimy asf and could have easily chose marriage counseling or divorce is she was this unhappy about the circumstances of her relationship but no, cheating was the only option. She just wanted for comfort he gave her at that point and that’s not a good reason to stay in a relationship especially one with a homebody. Not to mention the friends who clearly didn’t have her best interests at heart also I wanna say, he doesn’t have to go everywhere with her and she does t have to stay in the house all the time with him but it seems , heavy on seems, that neither wanted to compromise for the other and are rooted in their ways which isn’t necessarily bad but if your gonna dat/ marry someone who is opposite of you like that, expect to be a little uncomfortable and do things they like for a change and to make them happy My point is Op is the victim of a shitty wife but he was also wasn’t that good of a husband imo

Giving away the Bride is a thing of love. Try knowing that. Stop trying to get a dad that in no way loves you to be there.

Story 2: this is gonna be an unpopular opinion, but just because you’re physically and emotionally satisfied with things just being you and your partner. It doesn’t mean that you can always lean back on that. Extroverts have actual feelings too. I see this so much. Yes, you’re good guys and cheaters suck. But I guarantee you that if you’re in an Extrovert x Introvert relationship there can be a healthy give and take, regardless of how much you hate small talk. Do it if your partner’s worth it.

first

That's going overboard to cut all ties and cut him out of your life is to much 😨 as father of a 14 year old daughter I wonder will my child hate me if I couldn't make it to her wedding but then again my daughter doesn't have a entitled personality and get mad about events I couldn't make it too and she know I love her deeply and she is very understanding I hope they can amend their relationship❤💯

I think if you were the only money maker in the family with no one else to fall back on maybe people would he able to sympathize with the dad more. It is not just a job. It is the thing keeping your family from being out on the streets. If you had a stable career like a doctor or engineer that is one thing but what if your career was unstable and you have no idea when the next paycjeck is coming in.

@ButchPleaseImFabulous

4 ай бұрын

I might have sympathy if he even once showed actual remorse for missing every important life milestone, but guess what, my dad works in film and has a schedule that is irregular and unpredictable. They have missed a couple moments in my life but have always been truly apologetic. When given more than a months notice they are always able to book one day off for something that actually matters. No good father sees that scenario in a situation where they won’t get fired for missing/booking off a day, and decides “works more important than my daughters wedding.” And then he doubles down on what he’s doing being the right thing. Bringing home money alone does not make you a good father. Showing genuine love and care for your children makes you a good father. That man is self centered and does not care about his kids. You can sympathize with him having an unpredictable schedule, but none of his behaviour was excused by that so it is fully irrelevant to whether people are sympathetic to his behaviour.

S2 wife is in the right. The husband never wanted to compromise and then gets mad when she decides to go seek what she needs elsewhere. Introverts 9 times out of 10 are the problem.

@dankolaska4277

4 ай бұрын

The fact you can see a cheater and still rationalize that they were in the right is insane to me. Just disappointing all around. They were incompatible sure, but only one of them is a cheating scumbag. Also nearly every cheating story is an extrovert ignoring their partners and trampling boundaries.

@curator9024

4 ай бұрын

What the fudge you have against introverts? Also, the guy having a different mindset than the wife makes her in the right to cheat with a stranger. You an absolute idiot or something?

@detectivebones671

4 ай бұрын

Wow, the fact you rationalize trampling boundaries, and infidelity because "well introverts are the issue" No, the issue is people that have no problem being an extrovert showing two different sides in situations it just says enough. Hope whenever you have a partner or spouse that they cheat on you, because clearly you see nothing wrong with it.

@YouTubeChannel-ru8ed

4 ай бұрын

Cheating isn’t an excuse. She had many other options but chose to cheat instead of leave or get marriage counseling if she was upset about the incompatibility and the lack of compromise, not to mention that she didn’t try to compromise either and wanted it all her way just like him. She’s disgusting for cheating point blank, theses two should have never been together in the first place due to their differing personalities and mentalities. Introverts aren’t always the problem, just like extroverts aren’t always the problem. You gotta look at a situation not the type of person sometimes. Was the husband an ass. Yes, was the wife and ass, yes and in this situation the wife took it to an extreme that want necessary and now she’s more at fault for the destruction of the marriage. You can have your opinion but I don’t see how cheating is an excuse in this situation

@Extremelybraindeadhumanbeing

4 ай бұрын

Youre the kind of person to cheat then victimise themselves because they are “neglected”

She sounds ungrateful

@jgrAnimations23

4 ай бұрын

You're the father aren't you

@princessstarpeach9161

4 ай бұрын

​@@jgrAnimations23yep.

@cencalsupras

4 ай бұрын

@jgrAnimations23 I mean any father would with common sense let's be real lol.

@gabrielsfilms2086

4 ай бұрын

@@cencalsupras yah this guys the father

@jgrAnimations23

4 ай бұрын

@@gabrielsfilms2086 deadbeat sperm donor more like it