I'm surprised that barely anyone is talking about how much of a sucker the dad is and the fact that this was most likely the step-mom's idea. I don't get why they couldn't just split it evenly.

@BaeBunni

10 ай бұрын

since the guy literally makes more money and his reasoning is "Well I'll never marry someone that awful" like.. that is the most weak crap I ever heard. Kinda have to hope dad outlives step mom because step mom was a single mom "Well since you are getting all of your mom's will then my kids should get all of my assets even the new ones."

@phoenicianprince4635

10 ай бұрын

@@BaeBunni Yeah, her dad is actually a fucking idiot, he doesn't even consider for a moment he could be wrong, I've been in love before, he's stupidly in love. When you've in love you're blind, but you always have the tiniest suspicion, on the smallest of occasion there person you're in love with isn't really the "mask" you've seen. He should have it in his will that she receives X% of his assets and the rest goes to his wife, and she can distribute what remains in her will after she passes, when he's dead he has no way of knowing she'll keep to her word and no legal guarantee.

@politiagramaticii3521

9 ай бұрын

The split is kinda understandable (still wrong) if you take into consideration their point of view. As they didn't know OP's step siblings had been in touch with their father, they were thinking that neither of them will be on his will. OP, on the other hand, had a mom and a step-father, meaning she would be, most likely, on both of their wills. Therefore, they thought it would be right to give the 40 to those who are on 1 shared will, compared to OP who could be on 2 shared wills, or 1 shared and 2 non-shared. As I said, it is still wrong, but I can somehow understand their approach.

@Drknight1212

9 ай бұрын

He isn’t a good dad. His daughter should be his first priority, always. Then his marriage. But he’s a simp and doesn’t have backbone to keep his wife in check

@boblee7998

7 ай бұрын

​@@politiagramaticii3521 so splitting it 35 35 30 is not fair??? Cuz it seems like they wanna make sure the wife's kids are taken care of over op. There's no reason to split it that way other than spite

Dad claims "this might look unfair but it is not my intention to be unfair". This translates to "I'm being unfair but don't hate me." Dad is stupid.

They don't think op is an equal member of the family, is time op start treating them accordingly

My cousin's friend had a similar situation, lets call her Mary, with her mother. Her mother inherited millions from her parents, something like 37 million dollars back in 1997. Now here comes the kicker, her mother changed her will back when Covid19 hit and her new husband's children will inherit 90% of her assets even though she was only their step mother since their mid to late teenage years. Honestly, her mother wanted to give 90% of her inheritance to kids she had known for less than 3 and a half years, in my opinion ALL of that should go to Mary. The 3 of them will essentially inherit 30% each while Mary will only get 10%. The mother was wise with her money and never lived outside of her own job's considerable pay, so she has only built up more wealth. Mary was pissed that her mother would do something like this even after warning her about her new husband being a gold digger. So Mary told her mother that she didn't want a slap to the face after her mother died so just give all of it to them, she was sure her grandparents would curse their daughter for giving their hard earned money to brats that are not even their biological grandchildren. Mary cut contact with her mother and even though her mother later changed the will again to have Mary inherit 50% while the other 3 split the remaining 50% in an attempt to repair the relationship between the two of them, Mary has refused, saying that if her mother loved them so much she should just forget giving birth to Mary and Mary now considers herself an orphan. Three years later Mary is having a hard time but I recently saw her and she still says she would rather stay in a cheap house she doesn't own with her husband and 2 kids than have her mother spit in her face ever again. Mary has never spoken with her mother since and found out from her husband about her mother's new arrangements. Imagine your mother just telling you she will give 90% of your grandparents money to kids she met less than 4 years ago. Mary has comment more than once that her mother new husband had to be a sex god since he fucked her mother absolutely stupid.

@AlvinKazu

9 ай бұрын

It's insanity for sure.

This is exactly why I told my parents to spend as much of their money as they can before they're gone. Inheritance breaks families. Both my parents sides of the family ended up feuding when my grandparents all passed. Even though my siblings might disagree, I always tell them that I don't care what they have left over as long as it's enough to cover their post-life arrangements. They earned that money throughout their lives. They should spend it on good experiences and things that they want. That is what I'll be doing.

that wife is 100% not gonna give op jackshit lmao. hope she can come to terms with that

Personally after hearing dad say that kinda crap. "I would never marry someone with morals like that" I think it would be better to go NC and just be taken out of the will. Yea it's giving up on a lot of money but at that point you are literally gambling on the morals of someone that will suddenly get a lot of money and no legal obligation to listen to her second husband. While yes the step kids are also in the same boat the fact that he won't put it in a trust to ensure all assets can be divided in any way means he is putting a ton on a gut feeling that his second wife won't look out for her kids vs her "second husband's daughter"

This is like saying you get 10 bucks for your allowance,and you’re sisters, and brothers get 50 bucks but they say it’s fine because they love you the same see how messed up that is like

The dad is spineless lmao

Trust. Just make a stupid trust. Have the rules of the trust set up before he dies, and start it before the will reading. Have all the moving parts taken care of by the trust. The wife can be paid still from the trust, the kids don't get anything, or they do, and the trust can split the assets according to the agreed upon terms. No one can come in and break it. Find a fiduciary, pay them through the trust, and have another lawyer be a trustee (pay for their fees through the trust). Now that that's off my chest, the dad's intentions and actions counter each other. Remember: the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Good actions show how you truly feel as a guy. He apparently never learned this.

"we want to be fair, so we will not be fair to u" x_x

Always treat your kids equally. The dad might be a great dad doing what he thinks is best, but he clearly screwed up with this and it sounds like this was the dam busting on many years of typical divorce child crap that he also didn’t seem to even notice.

@phoenicianprince4635

10 ай бұрын

It's a shame, because he's treating his actual child like garbage, stepchildren aren't equal, they sadly can't be and never will be, you can love your stepchildren, but when your a parent your real children will always take priority, and they should, he's clearly failed as a father. He seems like a kind man but in reality he's a weak man in love, and a selfish one at that, he's so concerned with keeping his wife happy he'd snub his own daughter, his own flesh and blood who he claims he loves more than his step children, and maybe he does, but he's made it obvious that he values his own comfort and loves his wife more than he'll ever love his daughter.

@zachwatkins4201

9 ай бұрын

​@@phoenicianprince4635tbh what he did was wrong but what you said about not treating the step kid the same because he is not the actual kid is total bullshit.

@phoenicianprince4635

9 ай бұрын

@@zachwatkins4201 You can think whatever you like, but at the end of the day it's how it's always been, just look at the Stepmom, she's clearly prioritizing her children, that's why you always need to look out for your own children. Even if you love your partner, and your stepchildren, and your children, you need to put your children first, because odds are your partner will do that for their children 9 times out of 10, it's just part of human nature. So you can be as much as a saint as you like and love both equally, but well that might make you a good person, it makes you a bad parent, people mistakenly assume things like these are mutually exclusive, a good person can't be a bad parent and a bad person can't be a good parent. I'm going to wager a guess you were a stepchild that had a loving step parent or you just don't have children of your own and it's created a bias in your head.

@Auroraen

9 ай бұрын

​@@phoenicianprince4635the irony is not lost on me that you assume the other person is biased for NOT having kids when that would, in fact, place them in a neutral position since they have no dog in this fight and the logic 'you should place priority on your children because your spouse will do the same for your stepchildren' is depressingly cynical, just because other people might be selfish doesn't mean you have to be too i don't know why this story has to have a bad guy, father and daughter had a miscommunication but they were honest with each other and resolved their problems

@phoenicianprince4635

9 ай бұрын

​@@Auroraen Not having kids doesn't make you neutral it gives you no true context on how having children actually affects your mental state. Being intellectually aware and emotionally aware are completely separate from each other, it's easy to sit from an armchair and act like you know what it's like to be a parent, it's a hell of a lot harder to actually be a parent. The father and daughter resolved the problem because the daughter is kindhearted and just decided to accept the fact she'll never be a priority over her stepmom, that doesn't mean there was a miscommunication, simply acceptance on her part, her father did absolutely nothing to actually treat her fairly, and only offered empty platitudes. Sure call it cynical, but we live in a cruel chaotic world, where people lie to each other about who they really are every day, we all wear masks, and only we truly know what's behind the masks we wear. So be a saint all you want, tell yourself you were a good person, but don't lie to yourself and say you're a good parent too when you put your children in these situations, because you're not. Good parents love and cherish their children, good parents prioritize their children over other people's children, good parent's prioritize their children's prosperity over their own personal comfort, good parents are tough when their children need a push, and supportive when they need someone in their corner. At the end of the day being a Good person and having someone you need to care for is and almost always will be mutually exclusive. Also this "not having kids gives a neutral perspective" idea, is wholly fallacious and kind of proves my point, as you just outed yourself as such a person.

So here's the thing with "not my money, not my business", Parents have responsabilities with their children, expectations given by society and by the simple fact that they brought you to this world without your consent. Expecting a fair inheritance is not being entitled, especially taking into consideration that others benefit from inheritance. I'm all for just dismantling inheritance for everyone, and use that money to protect and benefit everyone in society and not just rich parent's childrens. But until that point, I think inheritance should fair. In this case I just would go no contact if my father doesn't make it legally impossible for the step-mom to not fuck things up. If she wasn't going to do it in the first place then nothing would change.

@Lawlz4Dayzz

9 ай бұрын

Better if inheritance is donated to charity if kids dont meet certain requirements to prove they arent entitled brats and everything is justly split. Until then putting things into investments and mutual funds is better to grow and counter inflation.

@Lawlz4Dayzz

9 ай бұрын

IDK about needing consent to become alive, but parents have inherent responsibilities and, when they are elderly, need people to carry on the legacy, if worth carrying,

@EdgyVidyaGeneral

9 ай бұрын

​@@Lawlz4Dayzzliteral authoritarian Nazi shit you're saying rn

Men seem to not understand that most women will never treat kids that are theirs equal to theirs

35 35 30 is really fair if the step moms asset is also included.

I wish my parent would tell I'M getting less than a stepchild. I'd go thermonuclear 🤣

Can't wait for her story about how her evil step mom turns out to be evil and give her nothing from her weak ass dads will after he passes. When she brought up that possibility and he said "she wouldn't do that" even though he admits she has issues I almost threw my phone 😂.

Wow, I would sue if I got less than my siblings - what better way to say f* u than to reject the dying wish. Also the stepmum doesn’t like the op, so she ain't gonna be fair.

Revenge: Stepmom will leave your father...Mostly because she is evil, but she will be er respect him for taking her side and being weak enough to slight his own child for her

OP's Dad is is a huge AH and knows it. He is gas lighting OP. He doesnt love her or he wouldnt put her last. I would be low contact after that. His words are lies because his actions show you ,you are his last priority

I'm likely biased because I didn't get to think about it due to my lack of family, but when it comes to inheritance I've lived my life with the mindset "don't expect anything until it's at your door". Inheritance means nothing until you have it, live life expecting nothing and enjoy the something when it comes.

I would have gone with the nuclear option. Think this is about money? either I'm just as important as the rest of them or write me out of your will entirely.

Money always destroys families split it even otherwise you will cause a rift.

I wonder how is OP's reaction after finding out her step siblings got 50:50 from their bio dad's inheritance or the step mom just cut off her share. I know this is sound like just about money, but I bet that scenario will cause her heartache. Because even if she said she didn't care, she actually did. Why else she thinks a lot about that shares. She did stated she only cares about her dad feeling for her, but didn't she also stated her dad will never love her less? She already know this, but still feel bad about the shares. So deep down, she couldn't help but care about the inheritance.

Why would he leave 80% of his money to a couple adults that are not even his kids.. and 20% to his only child.. This is just fucked.

Give them everything and don't speak to them every again

assuming all 3 parties make the same you walk away with 120% they get 90% 40% from their mother and 50% from their father you get 20% from them and 100% from your mom

Yeah, my dad was in prison for a good 12 years, got out and had my brothers, and I’ve told him before that he may be my father, but he is not my dad, and I simply don’t want anything from him when he passes, split it 3 ways between my brothers.

I wouldnt worry about it, the nursing homes will take it all.

I think she needs to go to lunch with her dad, ONLY her dad. Sit him down & tell him “If I tell you something I need to know this will stay strictly between us. That under ZERO circumstances is this to come back on me, this is something that I need to stay between us, the way you handle it is up to you just as long as I’m protected that it didn’t come from me.” Maybe even have him sign something of a confidentially agreement if she think he wouldn’t/couldn’t keep her out of it. Tell him “First off, this isn’t about the money at all, it’s your money & anything left behind is YOUR choice, not anyone else’s… but did you ask step bro who he was living with for 2 years? Your splitting assets 40/40/20 with me being 20 bc I have my mother & your under the impression that they don’t have a relationship with their dad. Even a 35/35/30 split would be more fair since sister in law does have kids & well step son is the golden child, while I’m just me. I would just like to add that step sister too has had contact with her dad. Maybe you need to sit down with their dad or make a call & ask if he’s had any contact with step siblings & grandkids”.

Wealth I inherited I split amongst my 3 bio kids but my own hard earned money I split amongst all the kids who loves me

Nah you should push for that 30%. It’s might not seem like it should be like that but it should. You did nothing wrong

Of a 20 share would change the OP’s life why not just split it evenly? Seems like a lot of money so sharing it equally just seems like the easiest and most fair option

Dad is a bit weak but it seems he really does love his kid because despite being weak writing her off his will is literally not an option as long as hes alive while you cab hear plenty of stories with weak parents that would let it happen. Personally what would make sense would be 40/30/30 with 40 to the sister with kids because of the kids and 30/30 because we can recognize the Step-mother has a favorite like the Father does ans he doesnt wanna fight, wich would make him weak but fair

I would've after thinking about it why don't you just give them all the money because I obviously mean less than the other people in this family

To me just stay out of wills and so on. Let people do what they want and never even tell you. Its always dumb.

She will get screwed

Dad is garbage Letting step mom basically treat OP less than the stepchildren. Dad is a fool to believe step mom would write op totally out if she could. Dad stated OP is favorite then why treat her like this? Dad is a liar pure and simple he knows what he is doing is wrong. Shame on him, yes, it is his money but how do you tell your child she is the favorite while treating her like an outsider and not worthy.

Oh nah that’s dumb. Your dad is the bread winner and you are his only blood child. He had assets before he was with her and had op even before that :/

What's MIA ?

@ricardopereira6931

10 ай бұрын

Missing In Action

@sorban5352

10 ай бұрын

@@ricardopereira6931 Thx.

Maybe not so relevant but why are people , after divorce, starting a new relationship and live together. I'm divorced and i would never, at least not until my kids leave the house, live together with another woman and maybe other children. We have our own culture at home.

40/35/25 EZ

@kwaghmare1

10 ай бұрын

why not 33/33/33? it will only cost 7 percent from each of their share anyways

@shortangel333

10 ай бұрын

@@kwaghmare1 K but Op should get majority of her dads assets and money since they are blood related.

@2muchjpop

10 ай бұрын

@@kwaghmare1 since OP is okay with someone who needs it more getting the larger share, that's a better compromise.

So the world has made me cynical. My perception is the step mom with 2 kids that never made much money and job hopped attached herself to a more successful guy and got a joint will. If the dad dies first, she will cut out OP so fast that OPs head may spin off like a child’s cheap helicopter toy. You don’t really get along with her because she sees you as a barrier to your dads money. When you got out of the house, she has been putting her claws into him in your absence. Influence is real. And I’m sorry but many men have married women who never show their true face till after the money is gone or the hubby is gone and the children are left to bear their crazy.

I wanna focus on the good part of this whole post. The op has a healthy way of looking at things like her dad. They solved it with talking. The dad did everything right imo (except dealing with the mom but thats not the point rn) When seeing so many sad and angry stories on reddit i am glad to be seeing those kinds of posts. Maybe the only thing i will do as the dad is to add in his will that the mother cant do anything with op's part no matter what. Just to keep a legal wall in case she decides to do somthing. But overwise the post was fun to read because of how healthy and close the relarionship of people in this family is. Op and her dad. Op and her sister. Just great

My mother paid for my brothers' college because I could 'find a rich man' to take care of it. She paid for their weddings because 'they aren't well off' she bought them vehicles she is buying them houses I've gotten... Nothing because 'you're your husband's problem' I've never asked, but she's been sure to call and tell me. They're doing the will and splitting it 'biblically' with the sons getting the money. She was so proud in telling me that but was upset that the lawyer said they had to give me a dollar in the will to prove they didn't forget me. They're worth millions and she was upset that she had to leave me one dollar.

@56karenandjim

3 ай бұрын

I’m so sorry

First, nobody is entitled to an inheritance. It's not a birth right. If you plan on that, you're making a bad mistake. Trust me, unless her father has extraordinary wealth, there won't be much left in the estate by the time they pass. If they die in their old age, medical expenses are repaid from the estate, and that can be a lot. Even in countries with socialized healthcare where it's "Free", a lot of things still aren't free. They develop mobility problems and need to install a ramp at the front door. They need to hire a home health aid, etc... it gets used up quickly. Entire industries (many of which are essential) are designed around milking every last cent from the elderly before they pass. Unless their assets are conservatively valued in the tens of millions, don't expect much to be left by the time the estate is settled. It may still be a significant amount, but don't bet on it. It's just a nice potential windfall that will probably not make a huge difference either way. Also, statistically, women live longer than men. So when daddy passes, Step Mom gets everything, and changes the will and OP gets zero. Even if OP is left something in the will explicitly (and it's not a joined estate with a spouse), her step-mother can contest it, and likely will. Her step-siblings could also contest it. In my family, I expect to get nothing when my parents go. I can support myself, I'll be fine without it. My Sister likewise won't get anything because she's bad with money, and while she could definitely use it, a large sum of money in her hands would be destructive. That leaves my brother, who is responsible, married and has a kid on the way, where as I'm single with no kids. So I expect him to get the overwhelming majority. If I get anything at all, it will likely be under the directive to be used to take care of my sister. It's not about "fairness". Nothing is ever fair, that is not an objective property as any situation can be viewed from a slightly different angle which makes a seemingly just or equal distribution inherently unjust. Instead, you aim for equity. Money and Property are finite resources. If the objective is to use that to benefit your family after you're gone, you allocate it to the areas where it will reasonably do the most good.

@bumi754

10 ай бұрын

with that reasoning why give money to the homeless and needy people instead it should go to bankers so they can do "more" with it. your sister could, in theory, change her ways and you could also start a family but because your brother has started his family earlier than you or your sister its fair i guess. or not

@Arkryal

10 ай бұрын

​@@bumi754 There's more to my family dynamic than what could be covered in a couple sentences, lol. I have no intention of having children, so that's out. My sister is a lesbian, so I don't think she'll be having any kids. My brother is the youngest, and in his early 30s. My sister and I are over 40. Things are unlikely to change in a significant way in the time my parents have remaining. Also I would NOT give a homeless person a significant sum of money. I would buy them a meal, give them some new clothes. I usually keep a couple of twenties in my car to give the homeless. Everyone deserves a hand up from time to time. But money rarely solves problems. That's a myth perpetuated by people who have none, lol. I have people in my extended family who have been given HUGE amounts of money, only to piss it away on things they thought they needed at the time, only to have nothing at all to show for it years later, or more often, they acquired significant new debts. Not everyone understands how to use money well. It requires planning and discipline which not everyone possesses. The smarter move in my family's case would be to put the money into an annuity for my sister that paid out $2,000 a month, enough for rent, but in a trust administrated by my brother or myself that would prevent her from accessing the principal to make sure it wasn't depleted. Set aside a small sum for my Neice's college fund, and my brother and I get no money, but maybe a few sentimental items (though neither of us is particularly sentimental, lol). But getting that setup correctly would mean allocating the funds while my parents are living, and I don't see them doing that. It is their money, funding their retirement, and they deserve it more than any of us, lol. The ideal options aren't always practical.

@bumi754

10 ай бұрын

@@Arkryal valid points but just like you said that there is more to your family dynamic - the same goes for others aswell. the most practical option isnt always ideal for everyone. what if the stepmother wastes it all if the dad passes sooner and she gets it?(maybe even manages to shaft OP completely) or in your case what if your sister wants to adopt? you dont need to answer that im just listing what if's. im just saying its not that easy and you dont get to say its "not about fairness" in this case. for her it was and she got over it. also for my homeless example i rather meant why should governments allocate money for institutions that help needy people but thats my fault it was poorly written

@randomusername3873

10 ай бұрын

​@@Arkryalwell if Op is less then the other kids than they should be ok with Op treating them accordingly Is that easy

2:39 basically the problem of almost everyone in this world "money money always money" You really care about how much money your dad left you if he pass away ? I would be more devasted by the simple fact my dad pass away than the amount of money he gave to his childrens

@chetzu961

9 ай бұрын

Say that again if your dad Bill Gates

@chetzu961

9 ай бұрын

He'll give his inheritance to all his child, but not you.

@eternaldestiny5232

9 ай бұрын

@@chetzu961 Couldnt care less if my dad didnt leave me money at all I'm already happy to have memories with him, it's more valuable for me than any amount of money. I know some peoples had never meet their dad and would have given everything for that.

@ahmadmog5018

8 ай бұрын

​@@chetzu961 if my dad is bill gates and he gave me 1% of his inheritance id be set for life

Blah blah rich people problems

Op is the dull person here she need to where she belongs and not to live with the ones that hate her

I mean if its both parnts assets combined then thats fair

@niclasjohansson5992

9 ай бұрын

Even if the bio-dad contributed 90% of the funds?

@team_ribs

9 ай бұрын

@@niclasjohansson5992 yes they should work in conjunction with the bio mum to give them an equal share as what the other kids are getting which they might be doing

I think OP should be grateful for the money. It may not be fair, but I've seen my sister in law get next to nothing and her sister got everything just because she wasn't married.

Treating equally doesn't work because the moment the dad or mom dies, they share marital assets. Didn't listen to the story yet, but there's a very valid point in doing what the dad did. Basically he's giving him his share of his inheritance, not the wife's one. Sure it could've been communicated better, but OP is a bit bitchy about it. EDIT: Now that I listened to the whole story I kinda disagree. He should've splitted 50/50 between wife and children, maybe 60/40, but clearly not 20% for the biological daughter. I'm glad I live in a country where there are minimums for legal heirs.

@joshp3446

10 ай бұрын

U shouldnt comment until you watch the video. Also OP is female.

@AECH_CH

10 ай бұрын

@@joshp3446 Why? The engagement rating of the channel owner isn't affected negatively by that. Also yes, gender isn't of any concern here, but I messed up. OP kinda splits in a very funky way, but legally half of his money while he and his new wife were married is hers. On the other hand: legally if OPs dad dies50% of that share goes to OP and only 50% goes to his new wife, so imho it's still unfair, but I tried making an argument for the fact that splitting equally isn't always the best solution imho.

@Telltales.

10 ай бұрын

Honestly its better this way! They 1st give their honest opinion frm just the title and then maybe change that opinion after watching!

@AECH_CH

10 ай бұрын

@@Telltales. lmao, you just want the comments and the engagement (and I don't blame you for that).

@fabianafagundezmuniz8119

9 ай бұрын

​@@joshp3446Nah because it's fun to Say The first Thought and then reconsidering your first opinion 🤷 It doesen't hurt anyone

Imo OP is wrong. Inheritance IS about money. You dont need to give more financial support to someone who doesnt need it.

I maybe the only person who gonna have this opinion but I think 40/40/20 is fair. She also has her moms inheritance and it’s 100% because her mom don’t any other kids. Ya the step-mom might have said that but in a logical way having this is 100% fair when 20% is really big according to her. She even gets her moms to so it’s a bonus

@Stefan-10

10 ай бұрын

Its not fair at all. As you've heard in the story, the dad is well off financially and the mom is not. Also, they will be in their dads will aswell. OP should get 50% of the dads will (for being biological) and the step kids get 25 each.

@fischls5771

10 ай бұрын

@@Stefan-10 you don’t know anything about the FATHER . He might have another family of his own. The mom her husband’s entire inheritance goes to her. Just because mother makes low does not mean it’s bad. If two people can live comfortably then itself is a lot of money.

@youtb210

10 ай бұрын

How is it far to give your STEP CHILDREN 400% more than what you give your own flesh and blood youve been with your entire life?! The dad is spineless.

@shortangel333

10 ай бұрын

@@fischls5771 You're just wrong. Stop having opinions child.

@KJ....

10 ай бұрын

@@fischls5771 in the post she says her stepsiblings' father is 20x richer than her mother so unless he has to split it with another 18 kids he has, they are getting more

honestly imo it should 50/50 between her kids with what she brought in and solely inherited, 100 to op with what dad brought in and solely inherited, then in thirds for everything brought in together

@hahah822

10 ай бұрын

I agree with u, fk the other siblings they aren't his kids. Op should inherited whatever her dad has.

@BaeBunni

10 ай бұрын

Op has to hope her dad out lives step mom though.