Cristela Alonzo Weighs Herself Using The Metric System | CONAN on TBS

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Cristela has a sure-fire way to lose weight; some might call it Euro-Style....
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Cristela Alonzo Stand-Up 03/02/15 | CONAN on TBS
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Пікірлер: 254

  • @hindue
    @hindue9 жыл бұрын

    you people are so mean, she is actually very good!

  • @tarico4436

    @tarico4436

    9 жыл бұрын

    I thought she was pretty good. Don't lump me in with the others.

  • @DBJULY83

    @DBJULY83

    9 жыл бұрын

    John Meyers 2 cm

  • @CaseyStellar

    @CaseyStellar

    9 жыл бұрын

    pau weg Exactly. It's called misogyny.

  • @tarico4436

    @tarico4436

    9 жыл бұрын

    Steve Holmgren She's better than a "3." My guess is you're just not a chubby chaser. In the world of comedy, a fatty--male or female--can go all the way to the top. Breathing heavily, but they can get there.

  • @thebearstreetballs

    @thebearstreetballs

    9 жыл бұрын

    She needs her own style

  • @veronicarodriguez8165
    @veronicarodriguez81657 жыл бұрын

    i loved her show, i hate that they canceled it

  • @jg8387
    @jg83879 жыл бұрын

    Her workout clothes bit was good and so was her hipster food bit. I actually laughed out loud

  • @hapinini
    @hapinini7 жыл бұрын

    I love her!! I wish her show Cristela had a second season :'(

  • @geico105
    @geico1059 жыл бұрын

    The chicken joke was actually really clever.

  • @CaseyStellar

    @CaseyStellar

    9 жыл бұрын

    ***** The entire set was actually really clever.

  • @bumslayer76

    @bumslayer76

    9 жыл бұрын

    And a good point we have a lot of privileges here that we take for granted.

  • @geico105

    @geico105

    9 жыл бұрын

    ***** Maybe it's because I see it all the time on food packaging and have never really thought about it until now. It's a very Louis CK-ish joke, where you basically look at something that seems really insignificant, and then make a big deal out of it.

  • @brigadierburnsauce

    @brigadierburnsauce

    9 жыл бұрын

    Search Jimmy O. Yang Whole Food Chicken. He did the exact same joke at the Laugh Factory back in July, and it was already years old by then. That joke isn't clever, it's ancient, and copied. Why did you feel the need to type "actually" before "really clever"? Is it because you find it preposterous that a female could say something funny or insightful? Just wondering, I'm of the opinion that she sucks wong at being a standup.

  • @teriston

    @teriston

    9 жыл бұрын

    two words - bill burr

  • @irchek070488
    @irchek0704889 жыл бұрын

    Cristela!!! what an awesome humor! and her show is really great too!!!!!

  • @laserbeamlightning
    @laserbeamlightning9 жыл бұрын

    She is actually really good!

  • @MartinRizoComedy
    @MartinRizoComedy9 жыл бұрын

    Loved the new material cristela! :)

  • @fuchion15
    @fuchion159 жыл бұрын

    She's lovely, thank you for sharing!

  • @chr1s415
    @chr1s4158 жыл бұрын

    I think she's hilarious. I can understand if you don't like her but you don't have to say it in a rude way. Some of this comments are just plain ridiculous. I think that ridiculousness is extremely unfunny but you don't see me bashing their page.

  • @heavnnnsent

    @heavnnnsent

    6 жыл бұрын

    thanks for adding a valuable comment to all the idiot trolls who landed on this site and shared all their negativity. She is so funny and has great delivery!!!! ! These people are pathetic. They are maybe jealous...and ignorant. She's damn good.

  • @amanya47
    @amanya479 жыл бұрын

    You are good, we want moreee !

  • @donzaloog1400
    @donzaloog14009 жыл бұрын

    I liked her set. Her attitude and delivery is great.

  • @AnyelaVega
    @AnyelaVega7 жыл бұрын

    she is soo good!

  • @MegaCavalier23
    @MegaCavalier239 жыл бұрын

    Lol im latino i can relate to the bars on my window thing, had me dying xD

  • @Jeff-fz9hg
    @Jeff-fz9hg9 жыл бұрын

    love the conan show

  • @carelesswhispersasmr
    @carelesswhispersasmr9 жыл бұрын

    God, I remember seeing her when she was first starting out :) She's come a long way!

  • @ryansimpson5616
    @ryansimpson56169 жыл бұрын

    I need you back on TV! I miss you crazy lady!

  • @bananaboomer6243
    @bananaboomer62437 жыл бұрын

    Love her

  • @commonNcrime
    @commonNcrime8 жыл бұрын

    love her!

  • @phoebetaylor4275
    @phoebetaylor42759 жыл бұрын

    loved it!!! shes so cute with the sparkly sneakers

  • @stomp999
    @stomp9998 жыл бұрын

    I liked it !

  • @Haseeebo
    @Haseeebo9 жыл бұрын

    Hahaha she was really good!

  • @katrinexOMFG
    @katrinexOMFG9 жыл бұрын

    she so funny :D and I love love love her shoes!! keep up the good work Cristela

  • @raphy6147
    @raphy61474 жыл бұрын

    Food bit was mad funny. She's great.

  • @chesterbesterfeild
    @chesterbesterfeild9 жыл бұрын

    damn, shes funny. And she didn't even make one joke about being a woman. Unless you count the tit joke but i dont. Im looking her up

  • @mickgee6379
    @mickgee63799 жыл бұрын

    RGV(Rio Grande Valley) girl representing! San Juan, Texas baby!!

  • @mr.jceniza
    @mr.jceniza8 жыл бұрын

    she's gooood!

  • @stiras1
    @stiras18 жыл бұрын

    If I were Canadian... I'd stay in Canada! xD

  • @mechicanotv2751
    @mechicanotv27518 жыл бұрын

    lookin good cristela!

  • @Derekad55
    @Derekad555 жыл бұрын

    The Kardashian bit was savage.😂🤣

  • @assikopp123
    @assikopp1239 жыл бұрын

    "the animals had a better life than i did" u wot m8

  • @argumentativeindian8638
    @argumentativeindian86389 жыл бұрын

    She's hilarious! :)

  • @MaryRod09
    @MaryRod093 жыл бұрын

    Lmaooo! “Come on Pepe!”

  • @tbrwy
    @tbrwy8 жыл бұрын

    well done

  • @JenAyyyyyBean
    @JenAyyyyyBean9 жыл бұрын

    I find it funny how people call her fat if you actually knew how much she works out and how far she has come you'd be singing a different tune. If only people would stick to the reason this is on here if you don't like her or anyone move along why must you be so negative? A little girl just dies of a heart attack at 15 and 88lbs because people said she had a big butt! Why would you want to be one of the horrible human beings that would contribute to all the hate that is in this world?

  • @xxthunderbird46xx
    @xxthunderbird46xx9 жыл бұрын

    Funny and attractive. Kudos Cristela.

  • @Fliptheonly
    @Fliptheonly9 жыл бұрын

    she's not that bad. and she didn't talk about sex once wich is pretty fucking rare.

  • @Jazzinvader
    @Jazzinvader9 жыл бұрын

    She is funny. Like her show also 👊👍

  • @Rize_Inn
    @Rize_Inn9 жыл бұрын

    She is kind of funny. Would watch her again.

  • @COLT_Chris
    @COLT_Chris9 жыл бұрын

    Amazing! xD

  • @elexesssilvestri4610
    @elexesssilvestri46109 жыл бұрын

    The backstory of food was kind of taken from Jim Gaffigan's Stand up called Obsessed, aired in 2014.

  • @renDerde
    @renDerde9 жыл бұрын

    The chicken joke was pretty good

  • @MrTedclayton
    @MrTedclayton7 жыл бұрын

    trevor... lol

  • @honest-teaspillingtheteaon2635
    @honest-teaspillingtheteaon26358 жыл бұрын

    She's funny

  • @thisisBillet
    @thisisBillet9 жыл бұрын

    Funnier that half the men on here. Couple times had me in stiches

  • @nskskdke244

    @nskskdke244

    6 жыл бұрын

    Mad Monk Billet stfu

  • @kerch-e

    @kerch-e

    6 жыл бұрын

    Thanks for making it sexist

  • @andreashort310

    @andreashort310

    5 жыл бұрын

    Someone had to make it about gender...

  • @4751ludo
    @4751ludo9 жыл бұрын

    She was pretty good ! :)

  • @theonlyokify
    @theonlyokify9 жыл бұрын

    Lmfao she's actually funny

  • @keswarnathragbar8225
    @keswarnathragbar82256 жыл бұрын

    Nice .funny and so pretty😊

  • @chuymarijano9026
    @chuymarijano90266 жыл бұрын

    Luv u 🌟👍

  • @alexdimitrov4014
    @alexdimitrov40149 жыл бұрын

    pretty funny

  • @hakimasaghir9458
    @hakimasaghir94587 жыл бұрын

    she s funny !!!

  • @CurbUrEnthusiazm
    @CurbUrEnthusiazm9 жыл бұрын

    I liked her

  • @darthmoeder5964
    @darthmoeder59649 жыл бұрын

    She's really funny. :)

  • @shawnkemp6775
    @shawnkemp67759 жыл бұрын

    When she was speaking of Canadians, did he refer to Trevor? As in Trevor from Grand Theft Auto?

  • @bedwaaqcawsgurow6401
    @bedwaaqcawsgurow64016 жыл бұрын

    Alonzo, she is good.

  • @matthewwalker491
    @matthewwalker4919 жыл бұрын

    she was great

  • @Be1smaht
    @Be1smaht4 жыл бұрын

    Those shoes though

  • @unclenephew7535
    @unclenephew75359 жыл бұрын

    She had some good parts to her set. I like the part about the illegal Canadian immigrant, Trevor.

  • @charlesleeiii
    @charlesleeiii4 жыл бұрын

    She looked great.

  • @graysonpemberton2315
    @graysonpemberton2315 Жыл бұрын

    Hilarious!!

  • @bleachno9
    @bleachno99 жыл бұрын

    Lmao, Dat gta reference

  • @shagmefrida4176
    @shagmefrida41768 жыл бұрын

    That skirt made me think of my dead grandmother. She used to make tablecloths like that.

  • @alfonshomac
    @alfonshomac9 жыл бұрын

    somewhere, right now, Bill Burr is all red-faced screaming "she stole my fucking food joke!, It's on my special on Netflix people!, she just switched some words around"

  • @Vickledeedoo
    @Vickledeedoo9 жыл бұрын

    I liked this, I thought it was funny.

  • @MrStensnask
    @MrStensnask9 жыл бұрын

    Wap wap wap WAAAAAAAAP

  • @DuhAznMata
    @DuhAznMata9 жыл бұрын

    This was pretty good. Not sure why the dislike :(

  • @TheFyinews
    @TheFyinews9 жыл бұрын

    She's great...she's very funny and attractive...her shows great... "This chicken had a better child than I had" lol

  • @AidanSeanMor

    @AidanSeanMor

    8 жыл бұрын

    +dean adams *childhood.

  • @taylahealy
    @taylahealy9 жыл бұрын

    Hilarious!

  • @hemmojito
    @hemmojito9 жыл бұрын

    I would

  • @edwardssistershands
    @edwardssistershands9 жыл бұрын

    Jimmy Fallon sang a duet with her.

  • @oldschoololdsfool
    @oldschoololdsfool6 жыл бұрын

    I think she's beautiful

  • @Poesiden72
    @Poesiden729 жыл бұрын

    She always reminds me of Demi Lovato.

  • @tysa990

    @tysa990

    9 жыл бұрын

    ConfrontationalRealist wow you're so edgy

  • @tysa990

    @tysa990

    9 жыл бұрын

    Next time you use the term 'politically correct', consider how your sentences would look if it said 'treating people with respect' instead. Perhaps you might understand how ridiculous it is that people think 'political correctness' is actually a thing.

  • @tysa990

    @tysa990

    8 жыл бұрын

    Or 'people who don't appreciate other people acting like childish cunts.' Case in point.

  • @zkart8038

    @zkart8038

    6 жыл бұрын

    Except she has an actual personality haha

  • @joker_3633
    @joker_36339 жыл бұрын

    I think people who laugh at everything might find that funny, but it wasnt. But she seems like very cool and funny person to hang around with. Also she is hot

  • @brigadierburnsauce
    @brigadierburnsauce9 жыл бұрын

    Can't believe people are still trotting out the "free range chicken" jokes, something like 6 years after Portlandia first made them popular.

  • @JuanLopez-lp8ig

    @JuanLopez-lp8ig

    6 жыл бұрын

    brigadierburnsauce nobody watches Portlandia

  • @MiniOgge89
    @MiniOgge899 жыл бұрын

    That is a beautiful and funny woman :D thumps up!

  • @lsaito4670
    @lsaito46709 жыл бұрын

    She funny.

  • @fanniemelander
    @fanniemelander9 жыл бұрын

    hej rokke

  • @Justin-K
    @Justin-K9 жыл бұрын

    I found her funny

  • @donald347
    @donald3479 жыл бұрын

    Thanks god for the audience letting us know where the jokes are

  • @blinkatreyu
    @blinkatreyu9 жыл бұрын

    Not bad. She had decent delivery and decent material. I liked her energy though.

  • @BenReillySpydr1962
    @BenReillySpydr19629 жыл бұрын

    Finally! Okay this is why I don't believe that women cannot be funny. They can obviously as anyone can just remember it's delivery and timing. Sometimes it seems like we only see unfunny ones bc they forget jokes have a formula.

  • @chrislopez44
    @chrislopez449 жыл бұрын

    Celine dion is more american than canadian. How many vegas shows did she do like a million?

  • @xiXOTICix
    @xiXOTICix9 жыл бұрын

    This is why we can't have nice things.

  • @iglooo102videos
    @iglooo102videos9 жыл бұрын

    Change to metric and you are set…hahahahaha…really funny

  • @FridolinH
    @FridolinH9 жыл бұрын

    even though she is latino or indian. I still feel like she's never been outside of the us before..

  • @laseede17

    @laseede17

    9 жыл бұрын

    exactly. I hate people who call themselves "latino" and can't even speak spanish like this woman. being born and raised in the US is exactly the opposite of "latino". doesn't matter what colour your skin is.

  • @FridolinH

    @FridolinH

    9 жыл бұрын

    laseede17 i was actually talking about the benefits of living in the us she is talking about. but yea. i agree with you nonetheless:P

  • @beabaila13

    @beabaila13

    9 жыл бұрын

    yes how dare these people want to identify with their culture regardless of where they're born...being Latino or Hispanic simple means you have ancestors in Spanish speaking or Latin America, do you get pissed when someone says they're german but they've never been to Germany???? I bet not, take you bullshit elsewhere please.

  • @laseede17

    @laseede17

    9 жыл бұрын

    beabaila13 yes, I would. If someone says he's germanic and has never been in Germany, doesn't know German and lives happily in a country with strict policy against German people, yes, I would get pissed. Or at least if I were German. Nowadays it's "cool" to be identified with Latin America but from the comfort of your house in the most racist country in the world.

  • @LooneyDude123

    @LooneyDude123

    9 жыл бұрын

    laseede17 Well generally people say they are Latino if they some Central or South American heritage. But I suppose in some occasions you are correct. Although you can't exactly call yourself caucasian if you're not white.

  • @antivenom2789
    @antivenom27899 жыл бұрын

    Stewie Griffin: "Not Funny!"

  • @mishmasrea1246
    @mishmasrea12469 жыл бұрын

    Lou Lou Lemon is expensive and some of their most expensive stuff is not even a full top. It's a sports bra with fabric over it.

  • @SomeoneWitSkill
    @SomeoneWitSkill9 жыл бұрын

    I may have broken a record, made it 50 seconds in. Go ahead, try to beat it, I dare you.

  • @ishnookie
    @ishnookie9 жыл бұрын

    I dunno why, but I'm sexually attracted to her.

  • @aombarbor
    @aombarbor2 жыл бұрын

    Eating chickens rn

  • @CoachShrugs
    @CoachShrugs9 жыл бұрын

    After the first joke about the metric system, I knew it would be rough.

  • @Tommorow1994
    @Tommorow19949 жыл бұрын

    She complains that workout clothes are expensive but goes to a expensive store to buy them?

  • @kalutti92
    @kalutti929 жыл бұрын

    Actually a funny woman comedian, Very goot very goot, upvoted cause I was surpriced

  • @ionlarisa18
    @ionlarisa189 жыл бұрын

    She's like a mature Demi Lovato!

  • @jonathangilliam875
    @jonathangilliam8759 жыл бұрын

    Wow she looks like Max from 2 broke Girls

  • @jonathangilliam875

    @jonathangilliam875

    8 жыл бұрын

    Especially the boobs.

  • @gogogogo769
    @gogogogo7699 жыл бұрын

    Black face was recently used on always sunny in philadelphia. %!%#%?),#

  • @outdoorroomy9887
    @outdoorroomy98879 жыл бұрын

    To funny

  • @alexpenneytration699
    @alexpenneytration6999 жыл бұрын

    The 1 funny woman

  • @Big_Dai
    @Big_Dai9 жыл бұрын

    Female version of Gabriel Iglesias..

  • @1ButtonDash
    @1ButtonDash9 жыл бұрын

    is she wearing a shower curtain?

  • @lastofmykind8

    @lastofmykind8

    9 жыл бұрын

    Blue and black actually.

  • @gladiator_games

    @gladiator_games

    9 жыл бұрын

    Hahaha

  • @katherinerodriguez118

    @katherinerodriguez118

    6 жыл бұрын

    Dude she’s there to tell jokes, not to look pretty.

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