Timestamps! 2:18 1/ Hope you are doing well. I know that a lot of therapists see a therapist themselves. What I talk about with my therapist is supposed to be between us. Would the therapist be allowed to discuss any of our... 17:25 2/ What's the most challenging thing for you about being a therapist? (COMMENT: As an addon. What do you think of patients that ask many questions? I’m a naturally curious person. For as long as I can remember, I... 24:31 3/ I find it difficult to go back to therapy after my old therapist left giving a 2 week notice. The thought of going back to therapy gets me feeling angry and I'm worried I might get a bit passive aggressive and push my... 26:37 4/ My question involves sexuality. Is there a way to differentiate between being asexual and having experiences/trauma in your past that have negatively impacted your sexual outlook and behavior? 33:45 5/ This is a follow up question on an ep where you talked about using masturbation as a way to cope. I was wondering, does it have to be born out of sexual abuse? And what if it's a very young child? I teach a... 38:19 6/ Why does it feel like I’m always walking on eggshells? When I was growing up in my house I always felt like I was walking on eggshells because my parents were always mentally abusive, but now that I’ve moved... 45:35 7/ When dealing with past trauma you have mentioned that talk therapy isn’t always enough, especially if someone finds it hard to talk about. With other therapies like emdr or somatic therapy when you remove the trauma from the body does that... 53:45 8/ Is there an opposite of dissociation? Can you be too self-aware? Dissociation comes up quite frequently in AKA questions and after listening to your videos and reading about it I’m not sure that I ever experienced it...

@nikkimckay860

2 жыл бұрын

Anniekate76.thank you as always for the timestamps how are you hope your doing ok

@anniekate76

2 жыл бұрын

@@nikkimckay860 I am well! How are you?

Good morning everyone!

@liadanlei

2 жыл бұрын

Good morning! Since you asked at the beginning of the video: my feedback would be to add Video Chapters (KZread feature) with the the question topic/focus as the title! It may be extra work but it would eliminate the need to scroll to the comments/video info for the time stamps, and be more searchable in KZread search :)

@nikkimckay860

2 жыл бұрын

Kati Morton.hello good evening from Nikki hope you are feeling better in yourself now 🙂

@FatboySim

2 жыл бұрын

🖤🕳🐇…..

I'm greyace and I really have a difficult time figuring out whether my asexuality is becaue of trauma or because this is how I actually am like...biologically. However, I think it's important to note that whether it's from trauma or not, your asexuality is valid. I think it's really important to analyse why we, as aces, are sex-repulsed (for those that are. I used to be sex-repulsed ace but I found out that that repulsion came from trauma. Once I dealt with that trauma, the sex-repulsion went away yet I still do not experience sexual arousal) because while it is difficult and uncomfortable, as you said, we all deserve healthy and happy relationships and part of having a healthy and happy relationship (in my opinion) is having that intimacy (which is not always touchy-feely or sexual) I hope I'm getting all of my thoughts across in a cohesive manner. There's so much that I want to say on this topic but it's difficult to get my thoughts into one cohesive thought. If anyone has any questions about aces or grey-aces then please feel free to comment and we can chat! Of course remember that not all aces feel the same way! These are simply my personal opinions as one singular ace in the sea of many. -Akita, The Elysian System

@age93

10 ай бұрын

Sex-repulsion is a good term.

@user-dn8hd6xn1e

4 ай бұрын

I really appreciate your comment and wrote a reply, but then that “watch it” part of my brain went, “The internet doesn’t need to know that much information from me,” and I erased it 😅. I just want to say, you know… however you feel about sex, I think it’s normal, and it’s not a definition of your life. 🫶🏻

This video is wrong about asexuality and aromantic people. I think it's a bit upsetting that Katie got the definitions of aromanticism and asexuality wrong. These are orientations like being bi, straight gay ect. Telling people with trauma their sexual orientation might just be trauma, that they might not be asexual and they need to work on trauma to be able to know... It breaks my heart. People can mix these orientations up with sex aversion, abstinence, celibacy, low libido, fearing connection or celibacy but those things can exist in people with any orientation. Asexual people can find themselves hypersexual after trauma just like allosexuals do. If it wasn't for my trauma and misinformation I would probably have felt worthy enough to identify with my sexual and romantic orientation earlier. Deep down I knew, but I didn't have the proper words because I didn't know the definition of what asexual actually meant. I wanted to be asexual so badly, I wish I could travel back in time and validate myself, that my orientation was real. After finding out I'm both asexual and aromantic, I feel more authentic and a lot happier and found a sense of community. It's easier to seek out wanted intimacy, and to get to cuddle with people I care about and my relationships to my friends are getting better too from being able to say it out loud and not try to be straight anymore. It doesn't mean I don't want to work on my trauma. In fact just being myself is necessary for healing, it gives me a greater sense of autonomy and control over my own life. The better my mental health got, the more easy it was for me to educate myself and to think of myself as both asexual and aromantic. I was still in EMDR when I started to discover this, but it took me a few more years to be able to own it. It doesn't matter if a person identify temporarily as asexual because of trauma, if they need to identify as asexual there and then, I wont invalidate them or discourage them from exploring this for themselves. Orientation can be a little bit more fluent for some people and that is also ok.,

That question has been on my mind for a while now -_- perfect timing

@fritzginger15

2 жыл бұрын

Same :/

@cwalsh-thebabysocialworker

2 жыл бұрын

Same same

@someonesomeone25

2 жыл бұрын

Caedsexual is the term for trauma asexual.

the definition i go by as someone who is aroace is asexual means little to no sexual attraction, this doesn't mean ace people can't have sex or are always sex repulsed but it means that they don't have an desire to seek it out in a relationship. aromantic is similar but relates to romantic attraction instead, this orientation is on a spectrum too and aro/ace are usually on one end of it so there's much to explore :)!

I just wanted to share that I liked how the videos are currently somewhat mixed up, it makes it to where I learn things about other people's experiences in smaller chunks while learning more about my stuff. Thank you for doing what you do, it really helps make it feel safer opening up in therapy. ❤️

I am starting a clinical psychology program in a few weeks. I was certainly inspired by my sex therapist that I was seeing back in 2017/2018. However, I am interested in a different populations and styles of therapy. I am in therapy now and my current therapist asked me if I was going back to school to help myself. I said no. I am a super nerd. I have worked as a college professor for the last 11 years. This summer I have transitioned into being a yoga and fitness instructor. All of these endeavors have a component of helping people reach their goals and find their voice. I am also asexual. I was sexually abused as a child but I don’t think my non-sexual attraction has anything to do with it. However, I have no doubt that my vaginismus and sex aversion. I worked through the vaginismus through my sex therapist and had to do PT for 3 years in order to have sex. I did it once with a close friend who I trust. It was fine. But I simply didn’t care and don’t care to do it again. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Regarding the question on autism and stimming: I know that when I was assessed at 4, the neuropsychiatric evaluation asked the parents if they noticed inappropriate sexual behavior. I'm autistic and the answer from my parents was no on the assessment; I'm just one autistic person though, so that's just anecdotal. That said, masturbation is a known stim (whether you're autistic or not) for some people, but I haven't specifically heard of it being done aggressively and deliberately or to cope at that age even within the realm of autism outside of sexual abuse. One thing I do know is that autistic people (and disabled people in general) experience sexual abuse at a much higher rate than the general population (both seen in research studies and taught in my academic program at school which is a health profession program of study). I am not an autism expert though, just an autistic gal and a student, so definitely take what I say as anecdotal and nothing more. I'm so sorry for that child if they are being hurt. I know Kati's response wasn't the answer you hoped for her to be able to give. 😔

@anniekate76

2 жыл бұрын

Stimming is all about soothing oneself with repetitive movements, though. And with an autistic baby it would be harder to teach social mores about when and where it is OK to touch private parts. I hope this child is not being hurt too.

@anniekate76

2 жыл бұрын

Maybe they could try teaching the child a different stim, like jazz hands or tapping, to substitute for the problematic one. We don’t want to teach a baby they have to mask all the time but maybe a different stim could work for them.

Hi, Patrick at Mind Life Flow here :). You are providing such useful information to so many people out there - around the world! Sorry to hear you have been unwell. Interesting topic you are addressing in this video. I think answering the viewer's or listeners' questions is very important.

This is very interesting. I always assumed lack of libido was biological. Its near impossible to experience sexual desire, but once engaging there is arousal. I feel as if I'm majority missing out. I view sexual encounters as a performance more so than experience; it's a means of obtaining validation and worth which obviously developed from trauma.

Kati looking nice with her hair down hello everyone late watching this Thursday AKA podcast how's everyone this morning or evening or afternoon I'm here again as always spreading care support and love to everyone ❤️

I thought I was asexual until 26 years of age, and then I realized it was a combination of relational trauma and undiagnosed physical chronic illnesses

@ngqp

Жыл бұрын

I think this is me too. How did you work through it? Curious for myself.

@IzabelSophia1

Жыл бұрын

@@ngqp in my case, a lot of things started working themselves out as I started addressing my medical issues. I had a lot of endocrine and gastrointestinal irregularities that made me lose my period for 7 years. During that time, I had no interest in sex because I was just trying to survive. But once I got diagnosis and started treatment, my tolerance for other peoples romantic attention also grew naturally. I used to be very avoidant and dismissive of other peoples interest. I had never been on more than 3 dates with someone until I was 27. I would blow my dates off in the early stages because I didn’t know how to communicate boundaries or standards in a non-aggressive way, and I didn’t care to learn. I had to intentionally learn how to receive attention and affection without feeling awkward, and how to communicate my needs in a way that isn’t attacking or accusing the other person. In addition to being more receptive and not keeping myself busy with work all the time, I actively had to choose to have relationships in my life beyond those I was born into (family). I had to choose to trust people and give them chances to a certain extent. I had to allow myself to be vulnerable. It was a learning process. I wouldn’t say my trust and vulnerability were always well placed, but I do think I learned from every relationship and for the most part have had a positive experience. Ultimately having relationships is about trusting yourself too. I know that’s really vague and may not be relevant to your situation but hopefully you find some inspiration in it to live the life you want. 🙏💖

Thank you to who ever asked the title question!!!

im aroace, & i know in my case it is directly linked to being schizoid (schizoid personality disorder). which in my case, although may have developed due to trauma--it is not trauma in the ptsd sense at all. so i want to highlight that although trauma can be linked to asexuality/aromanticism, trauma is not equivalent to ptsd & can manifest in many other complex ways. also not to mention the fact that anyone can still identify with asexuality/aromanticism, trauma related or not.

I've heard of this kind of stigma even about neurotypical babies touching themselves. It's just a taboo that puzzles me. To me it's the same as when a kitten chews on its own foot.

All good question s more took notice of questions 8/9 interesting sad some people don t get much out of therapy it's always important that your therapist and therapy is beneficial and helps us

Who else prefer s the question s to be around different mental health issues or who prefer s the fact Kati is going to make the set of questions to a certain mental health issue so it's only about 1 topic ?

It can be. Caedsexuality is the termfor trauma asexuality.

Sounding better 👍🏻

I have questions on therapy, please do a therapy based podcast

35:41 I've never heard of a child or adult (with severe autism) doing that as stemming. I hope that child got help

Even if it was a trauma response its not a bad thing unless i have a problem with it. The only problem i have is having to be around other people shoving sex in my face and people telling me i should like it.

Hey katie i have a question i watched a video bout said abuse narcissistic that u have repart selves one way heal narcissistic sbuse that not question can a narcissistic deep side reparert themaelves deep inside u know wrong. They know whst doing. Wrong can they chwnge if decide for very long time. Nothing way want heal from wbuse put on other people others Experince. Childhood from parent is impossible to heal

I am not sure about this new type of gathering questions. I have the feeling if a question doesn’t get picked it will never cause that topic is “over”. I am a little scared that some questions might never get answered cause they don’t get picked or they never fit the topic at all. Maybe this worry is just cause I am afraid of change but it really bothers me. I am curious what the future will be like.

@nikkimckay860

2 жыл бұрын

Natasha jaromir.seen your name and wanted to say hello and how are you how's things been I can understand and relate to your comment about the change of questions list seems now the question are on one topic and 1 type of mental health so yeah if you have a question that's not related to the AKA podcast list of questions then it probably won't get picked as I think Kati is now putting her focus on just question s to do with one topic now I have a question but my question wasn't about Trauma or abuse so I didn't bother posting it so I have to wait until Kati s question s are related to my question seems this is how they are right now but I do understand how you feel ❤️

@nikkimckay860

2 жыл бұрын

Natasha jaromir .so Meany of us are afraid of change x

@natascha_mephisto

2 жыл бұрын

@@nikkimckay860 Hello Nikki! I am happy to read from you! My life is really difficult right now and I need to be extra extra aware to not fall into another addiction… but everything will be okay. How are you?

@anniekate76

2 жыл бұрын

The topics are broad and I have a feeling they will repeat. I totally get your concern though.

@nikkimckay860

2 жыл бұрын

@@natascha_mephisto I'm glad that my reply comment was comforting and helpful to you I'm sorry to hear your life is really difficult for you right now you need to be aware not to fall into another addition oh I see I'm glad though you said everything will be ok thanks for asking how am I been not to bad had a week holiday break away from home so I was keeping my mind clear had a nice time at the beach and the club every night it was a much needed break away from home take care x

Why didn’t you think you had a cold/flu?

The Dentist

Kati you are telling us a lot that the treatment team (therapists, Doctors,...) should work together. In my case it is strange. My therapist does not want to "talk" to my doctor about symptoms or anything else because she trusts me to be the middleman between them. I offered it couple times but she in this case she is very strict. What could be behind this decision?

@DreamingOutLoud91

2 жыл бұрын

I think Kati has a background specializing in eating disorders where it’s very common for treatment teams to work together (therapists, psychiatrists, internal medicine doctors, etc) specially when someone is very physically ill. Unfortunately, sometimes therapists outside of this space are less likely to want to liaise with psychiatrists about med management especially if they don’t work at the same hospital / aren’t affiliated. Still, I hope you’re able to get the support you need

@LisaEti

2 жыл бұрын

I am in good care with the treatment team

@anniekate76

2 жыл бұрын

Maybe your therapist just doesn’t have time. A lot of therapists are forced to work a lot on too many cases a day because insurance reimbursement is so low so they look to cut out this sort of task to get back some time to eat and pee in between patients.

@LisaEti

2 жыл бұрын

@@anniekate76 It could be. I honestly don´t know.

All due respect but If it's trauma induced, then it is very more likely to be sexual aversion disorder rather than asexuality, where in this case you would also feel distress and still have sexual urges but intensely less (same goes for HSDD, which the DSM directly states that someone that's ace can't be diagnosed with). I don't think they would have those same feelings. Not having sexual interest in others to begin with =/= It not being your neutral state due to trauma

Y dont narcissistic reflct. Being normal

Can a narcissistic deep inside they know what doing wrong they want heal pain suffer something not let them from abuse suffer hands from narcissistic parents that past experience vicim . but they want change heal they been doing same decades years week months. To person. Abused . They feel controlled by the parents even though past way yrs ago they still act person still alive. They r doing to be accept family members they want own individual they don’t hurt harm there others parent needs wants to themself self have keep hurt harm people dont want parent control life don’t to have needs wants they want stop hurt people normal accept family members this own family members lot them like almost family every one crazier i fell lose self everything mind soul they dont delveop this way forced want to Change not know doing wrong cover truth

Katie, you really let down the queer community with this one. it’s disappointing to finally see something on this channel talking about sexuality or gender, and it’s a SUPER misleading/click baiting title 😔👎🏼

@kimlarso

5 ай бұрын

Wow👉you only confirm how Narcissism & Queer go hand in glove 😢