It seems absurd to expect people to get mentally better when they are deprived of loving touch. But hey, here you are, so it worked at least once.

@misterecgamer2824

10 ай бұрын

LMAO you think the US prison system wants people to get mentally better? Wtf are you smoking???

@nnnnnnnghhhh

10 ай бұрын

And that’s with him getting out at 19 years instead of 32

@jv-ep2tc

10 ай бұрын

word for word what I intended to write. it is so short sighted to limit affection. prison must be hell so whatever you can do to turn down the volume might be a good idea. i would love to do a study comparing the states that do and those that don't.

@oi-nf9uz

10 ай бұрын

most people just want them to be tortured, and others dont care what happens as long as they dont have to see it.

@TheMisterbobman

10 ай бұрын

I mean the expectation is very obviously not rehabilitation. The U.S. prison system is all about punishment, free labor, and increasing the chances of reofense

little ironic how “virginia is for lovers” but they don’t allow conjugal visits

@atm1947

10 ай бұрын

The phrase itself is ironic, since the whole reason that case happened was because Virginia law forbade interracial marriage, and had to be challenged in literally the highest court in the country

@jv-ep2tc

10 ай бұрын

advertising is not nearly as clever as it used to be

@MBTIology

9 ай бұрын

Lol VA is for history lovers

@atm1947

9 ай бұрын

@@MBTIology lame as fuck drivers license plate

@acetaminophetus

9 ай бұрын

Silly sonichu, Virginia is for virgins

It's almost like the prison systems are trying to get repeat customers.

@leeatkin5210

9 ай бұрын

Well, they are for profit businesses and what business doesn't like a repeat customer?

It just doesn’t make sense to keep prisoners far from family when the research shows that continuing ties to the outside world help decrease the chances of recidivism.

When my brother was locked up I was almost shaking by the time he walked out to see us cause I just needed a hug from him so badly, you don’t realize how much you miss a loved ones hug until it’s not available to you

I’ll never forget how terrified I was to visit my cousin in prison and be checked head to toe before I could see him. I was around 14, I think and had never even realised what that huge building in Dublin was for. It was awful. I went to hug him and a guard stopped me. I think I cried half the way home.

@wcoasttigger

9 ай бұрын

I am so sorry. That must have been so hard. ❤

@jennymulhall816

9 ай бұрын

@@wcoasttigger It was one of those memories that is hard-wired in, you know? Very, very difficult but a glimpse at how we (Ireland) punish not only our criminals, but their families, also. My cousin is doing very well now. A loving, no-nonsense wife had a lot to do with it! :) Thank you for your reply. I hope you and yours have a lovely week. x

In New York it's like one hug which is closely monitored and that's it nothing else.. a lot of people tried to bring stuff in through hugs and kisses which always resulted in more restrictions

@loremastervoidless1026

10 ай бұрын

Same for Vermont

@bearball49

9 ай бұрын

I do know that back in the early 80s NY had conjugal visits in a Trailer. My sister married her college sweetheart while he was incarcerated. I remember her carefully buying groceries so she could make him meals he had been missing. I do think it is a good thing going a long ways to keep prisoners human. Humanity is the first thing you seem to lose.

@dasy2k1

9 ай бұрын

Wow, as far as im aware the UK dosn't restrict hugs at all during visiting time, but dosn't offer any privacy whatsoever anything more than a chaste kiss. Basically whatever you are doing is in a room full of other inmates also having family visiting with lots of guards watching everything

@loremastervoidless1026

9 ай бұрын

@@dasy2k1 As a CO, I know some of these guys are smart, and I know that some are hard drug addicts, who will do anything to get their fix. Some have even strapped drugs to the backs of their babies to transfer it inside. its fucked up.

Prisoners who get those visits are less likely to go back to prison

I can't even imagine. I lived alone during covid for 8 months, and while i had some other issues going on at the time (undiagnosed and untreated mental health issues exacerbated by the pandemic) i distinctly remember spending a lot of time crying and just wishing someone would hug me. Hugging my mom for the first time after those 8 months was one of the most emotional moments of my life. Prisoners are still human. Denying people contact with loved ones is just torture.

@Newton-Reuther

9 ай бұрын

Honestly, that's probably why a lot of lgbt people came out during the pandemic. It's easy to be distracted by life and touch starved but as soon as the distractions go away, the sadness sets in. Hope you're doing better!

prison is a broken system that never worked. It's a punishment that people with too much power get to dole out way too freely and haphazardly. "You have violated a made up societal rule/standard so now we no longer consider you to be human and therefore, this is your life now. " And we just accept it as ok. Let's remember that we change people when we tell them they are less than and it's never ok and tbh it's 2023, the othering and stigma needs to stop.

@cthulhucult3230

9 ай бұрын

That's somewhat true. Quite a few of those rules were made to protect people. If you cause serious harm, I do think you should face consequences; at least pay the damages or something. Crime is often caused by environmental factors and most people are genuinely capable of growth. But that doesn't mean we don't intervene in the situation.

The UK doesn't have conjugal visits at all and I really think it's something we should introduce. That link to the outside motivates people to behave so they can get out on time or even early and see their family sooner.

@dasy2k1

9 ай бұрын

They don't restrict hugs though as far as im aware... Its just everything at visiting hours is out in public with wardens watching

prison is so incredibly inhumane

@banditsspies6759

9 ай бұрын

Real question: do you feel it is inhumane for all offenders? As in do you think convicted pedophiles should be permitted conjugal visits? Not trying to start anything, just asking because support for prisoners seems to often be limited to individuals rather than whole groups and I’d like to tease out the lines

@gbenother8755

9 ай бұрын

If you think prison is inhumane, what do you think about the barbaric acts that get people sentenced to live in one?

@lucifox8506

9 ай бұрын

@@gbenother8755 tou mean like the people who spent decades in prison for smoking weed?

@satanic_panic666

9 ай бұрын

​@@gbenother8755The vast majority-nearly three-quarters-of inmates are in for non-violent offences. A large percentage drug-ralated. Generalising all inmates as people who commit the most inhumane crimes is naive at best and purposefully dishonest at worst.

@Leo9ine

8 ай бұрын

​@@banditsspies6759Feels like bait but I'll take it. Yes, they should. The ick factor doesn't change the facts. Better mental health equals less crime, inside or outside of prison.

Depending on the prison in California itsmore like every 4 to 6 months and its not not a week , more like overnight.

@TheMightsparrow

10 ай бұрын

He's describing his dream 😂

@lunaskisses

10 ай бұрын

I think he said weekend, it cut him off.

@decemberholiday3488

10 ай бұрын

I’m Washington it’s the whole weekend. You get a trailer and you can make dinner. It’s really cool. Especially when you have kids.

I swear if they added conjugal visits there would be less freak outs I swear lol 😂

This is absolutely not what I took away from this video, but as an aside, that bird in the background transported me back to my home state as a kid. ❤

Thank you for sharing your truth. Your information is presented so well. Have you considered sharing in a lecture, teaching, speaker kind of setting? I believe you would do well!

I've been in two relationships with a man in prison. My first husband I married while he was inrcarerated.We already had a son but CA made it impossible to get approved because of some stupid rule that disqualified us. My second husband I wa already married to but violent felonies were not eligible but his charge was stupid because it was for breaking a windsheild with his fist not actual bodily contact but it still was a ADW with intent. Family visit is a myth in CA. I've never been in prison but I wa a faithful prison wife and technicaly I did 7 years tandem so I undestand your experience and I really appreciate your content there is real need for prison reform your a great example of someone who evolves as a person because of being so young you grow up and become an adult but demonstrate you can make mistakes but not be defined by bad choices. People deserve to get second chances not shelve as rejects. The work your doing is awsome. It makes a difference.

that is incredibly inhumane oh my god

That's inhumane.

Your missing button really distracted me 😂😂😂

Really like this channel, just subbed 😊❤

A whole weekend! Holy Shit! I had no idea!

You were pardoned by Ralph Northam right?? Does the current governor of Virginia do many conditional pardons for people in your situation??

@catgirlwarrior9755

10 ай бұрын

Probably not, youngkin's a huge dick who's been very conservative and very against progress or tolerance

@claires1063

10 ай бұрын

I can't say for sure, but the current gov is a huge POS who has been toeing the "law and order" line. So I doubt it.

@Me-mn4nw

10 ай бұрын

You've got to be kidding right? We have Republican Trumper Youngkin.

@Baelor-Breakspear

10 ай бұрын

@@Me-mn4nw genuinely curious and was hoping I was incorrect but yeah Youngkin probably doesn’t pardon anybody. Wouldn’t wanna look soft on crime, right??

@RomanvonUngernSternbergnrmfvus

10 ай бұрын

@@Me-mn4nw bruh the current vp made bank off the prison industrial complex. Don’t pretend this isn’t endemic across both partie.

The prison system dehumanizes people.

Oregon State doesn't have conjugal visits not even to consummate a marriage which in some religions is illegal. But my husband and I made it. Now he is home and all is good

the fact you’re unable BY LAW to hug or kiss a family member or loved one is fucking insane to me. physical contact and splays of attention are so fundamentally human. i hate the prison system

I look forward to my hug and kiss every damn week !

Hug, kiss, OR handshake?? Only one?? Inhumane

Thank you for the info ❤

How the heck do you find a woman when you have a 20 year sentence?

Married or long time Girlfriend only. Imagine meeting someone online then getting her pregnant then staying in jail and unable to support anyone. Pros and Cons for those visits

Hey, I’m new to your channel and I probably get several of your videos recommended to my page every day. I’m super interested in how you went to prison in the first place. I’ve heard you mention a few details, but I would really love to hear the whole story from your perspective. Can you link the video?

I didn’t realise how much I would miss human touch because you’re not conscious of it day-to-day, until you’re in a situation where you can’t have that - it’s similar to when I deployed to Afghanistan, you then all of a sudden live in a very sterile environment. I can see why American troops have their tour wives or husbands.

This is juat plain cruel!

But she wasn't your family?!

Then you start at the bottom of the food chain in a new prison.

Glad you are out 😊

So, they want people to rehabilitate themselves but they punish you as hard as possible, and punish your whole family too, especially your life partner. And the punishment is dehumanizing and extremely bad for your mental wellbeing. So it's really just a system of punishment, not rehabilitation.

Yea VA DOC wouldnt allow conjugal visits...

I didn’t know you guys got the entire weekend if you’re more of those dates. How are the trailers? Are they like the ones in the movies or are they livable for the whole weekend?

I thought conjugal visits were just a movie thing honestly. Like I understand the need for family visits, & your intended being your family; it just sounds weird to have a bylaw all "here's the state-scheduled sex breaks, the visits you're scheduled specifically for having sex in"

I cant help but to look at the that tacoma is parked backed up so fucking close to the wall. I actually think it hit the wall and is pressing against it.

@lakeshelor6159

10 ай бұрын

I thought I was the only one that saw that 😂

Sad that this is so complicated

ITS JAIL!!!!! YOU BROKE THE LAW!!

You’re allowed to have a sleepover! That’s how it should be everywhere.

@penelopesilver8509

10 ай бұрын

What about their victims? Do the dead get sleep overs? Why do we spoil these criminals? Is it not enough that we as taxpayers have to pay for all their needs? Food, housing, cloths, medical, dental, water, power...

@yordlejay6820

10 ай бұрын

​@@penelopesilver8509he didnt kill anybody

@madeleinecho8469

10 ай бұрын

@@penelopesilver8509Spoil them? By letting them see family? You understand family visits go way beyond just the prisoner. If a prisoner is happier, less combative, and has something to lose, it is a better and safer work environment for prison staff. You talk about cost on the system, well by being punitive only, you’re setting them up to re-offend because they have no skills to survive after release. Intergenerational trauma is a thing and children deserve to have as normal a relationship with their incarcerated family member as possible to set them up for success.

I think Virginia is so extreme sometimes! Like what is preventing a hug doing to help rehabilitate ppl? It’s bc they are just in a punishment mentality they can’t think of better ways to get people to a place where they can be a productive part of our society.

I feel the same way when i left uni. 😊

I'm gay I wouldn't need Conjugal visits. But surely it's part of your human rights? A hug ,a kiss or " A handshake" just ain't going to cut it. That's barbaric😢

@micahslash

10 ай бұрын

Barbaric is shooting people.

@DementedDarkness546

10 ай бұрын

Yeeeeeaaaaahh... human rights aren't a priority in US prisons.

@nathanielwowchuk6880

10 ай бұрын

​@@DementedDarkness546in the us in general really

@RisingFlag100

10 ай бұрын

​@@nathanielwowchuk6880You clearly don't understand how much uou have.

@kinglokimrvegas8687

10 ай бұрын

​@@DementedDarkness546nah there is no rights for us slaves 😂

Damn not even a handy?

Damn

Thought you were about to say one hug one kiss, one hand job upon entry

Yeah...NO! My husband married me just for the conjugal visits. When he got out he left me for a younger whiter version of me and gave her that dream wedding I described to him.

That's not what "worked". He was able to move beyond that. Some people may remain unadjusted to society/ not know how to socialize or show feelings

How about just live your life by the law and you won't have to worry about visits in prison!! Yes, I understand there is innocent people wrongfully convicted and locked up but if the rest of the prison population would have obeyed the laws then it would be easier to keep the wrongfully convicted innocents out.

LUCKY you, those are true blessings 🙌 🙏 ✨️ ❤️ 👏 especially rare occurrences in this way, incarceration. It takes 2 to know.❤❤😊😊

Thos dam birds

What is your opinion on manifestation? You consistently say that you couldn't imagine getting out and would picture yourself in a better "in prison" scenario yet you were actively bettering yourself for life outside of prison. Do you think you subconsciously knew you would get out and just didn't want to get your hopes up due to being let down in the past? I.e. your sentencing

Shouldn't have committed a crime, jail is the punishment! No sex buddy you're in jail !

Warn kids Stay out of prison

What'd you do brother?

What did he go to jail for?

Holy shit! The American prison system is literally hell! I’ll never ever visit that country!

The tagline shouldnt be “Virginia is for lovers” it should be “Virginia ain’t sh*t”

What the hell, Virginia. We're micromanaging hugs? Duck. That.

Too many inmates have partners that are financially insecure. It’s much more that “not getting a hug.” It’s about sending contraband in and out, creating babies that will go on public assistance and/or STDs sharing.

Calling conjugal visits 'family visits' is super weird

@bemo98

10 ай бұрын

Well it’s because people want to be able to physically hug and hold all of their family members rather than just being able to be with their spouse/partner. conjugal just means “relating to marriage” but colloquially we associate it with sex lmao I’m sure there will still be plenty of typical “conjugal” visits between prisoners and their partners but many people just want to be with their families in general. It’s a more fitting term imo because it conveys that they are able to have physical visits with anyone and not just their spouse or whatever.

@dasy2k1

9 ай бұрын

​@@bemo98Yeh here prisoners are allowed some touch with family. They are normally allowed to have their kid sit on their lap for a cuddle for example during normal visiting hours. But they arnt allowed to do anything sexual period.... And the only person they are ever allowed to meet with in private is their lawyer.... Normal visits are always in a public environment

Bro what did this guy do??? He genuinely scares me

How can someone seemingly sane and healthy end up in prison, what did you do again?

Dont do anything illegal to get locked up and you wont have to worry about it.

Human contact in general is something you become numb to after awhile. When you reach eos and finally hug and kiss your lady its like being electrocuted.

Are fashionable shirts allowed?

If only you didn't do that to yourself...

If you allow conjugal visits, aren’t you perpetuating the problem of single parenthood?

I don't think any state should allow conjugal visits. People are in prisons to be punished. I don't think sex is a 'human right.'.

@makadoodledoo

9 ай бұрын

its not just abt sex its abt seeing ur family

So like you all see a manipulator right. He said she decided. Even if she decided bro ..

Again, and I'm beating a dead horse, don't do the crime if you want a normal life. The people you kill, maim, harm, may not have those privileges. Why should you?

@bemo98

10 ай бұрын

Humanity. Even for those that do not display humanity themselves.

Isnt the point of prison to be punished? How is conjugal visit punishment?

@bemo98

10 ай бұрын

Were you born a week ago?

@carlyg7322

9 ай бұрын

@@bemo98 i dont think so.......😀

conjugal visits😂😂😂 f them

You visit with your buddies in the shower

Maybe dont date someone whos in jail for 20 years? If you in jail that long u deserve to be fuckin alone.

Prisoners should not be allowed conjugal visits. You gave up that privilege when you broke the law!

@haroldgarrett2932

10 ай бұрын

yes, i am sure stripping prisoners of any semblance of humanity will surely result in well adjusted people once their sentence has been completed.

@Me-mn4nw

10 ай бұрын

@@haroldgarrett2932 They can always pleasure themselves or play in the shower. Last thing the world needs is a bunch of conjugal babies.

@kenc2257

10 ай бұрын

Besides punishment, prisons are supposed to rehabilitate, and prepare the incarcerated to reenter society.

@Me-mn4nw

10 ай бұрын

@@kenc2257 I didn't realize sex was a necessary skill for work unless someone wanted a raise or cushy position.

@Globewanderer000

10 ай бұрын

Thank you!!

Here's a better idea. Don't go to prison.

@unhhgcrxexhjvuvujchcrzwzwz7956

10 ай бұрын

Middle aged white man obsessed with his likely teutonic identity has entered the chat to provide unintelligent observation

@isoniem

10 ай бұрын

Well duh, but people make mistakes. Doesnt mean their not human. And theyre family is also important.

@the_most_feral_rat

10 ай бұрын

Thats like saying just don't have addiction just don't live in a bad area just don't have mental illness just don't be poor just don't be one of the approximately 20,000 people who are wrongly convinced is the US alone

@froggamer4884

10 ай бұрын

@@the_most_feral_ratand the sad thing about estimating wrongful conviction is we can never know how many people plead guilty in a deal to get out of worse sentence because they fear they will lose the case. A lot of lawyers give up on trying to prove wrongful conviction when it seems like a waste of their time. So there are probably even more wrongfully convicted that we will never know the numbers for.

@ritokazoriv

10 ай бұрын

That useless little piece a fake-advice says so much about your total lack of intelligence. Did it make you feel just so good to act like you're you're so much more superior than everyone else with all your "wisdom"? You're either trolling or just incredibly delusional. If this comment isn't bait however, it's incredibly sad you decided it was necessary to share your disaster of an opinion. It's like telling a homeless person who complains about not being able to feel their fingers from the cold ... "Here's a better idea: just buy a house! It's not that complicated! You're so lucky to be talking to me, who knows how much longer you would have been homeless without my incredible advice. Now you can stop being homeless! Next time you feel the urge to prove every breath you take is a waste of oxygen, do the world a favour and make it the last you'll ever take.

I have been inpatient psych 3 times, each only about 10 days at a time. We had low contact visitation, but it was nearly every other day. I can't imagine being in there for years like that with less visitation... I'm happy for you and proud for you! 🫶